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Oh believe me; the writing is all a hobby and a pipe dream to get published right now. Anyway, time to send out more cover letters and resumes. EDIT: I got my resume done thru Resumes to Interviews and I'm using the gently caress out of it.
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Aug 9, 2013 22:56
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It's a hobby that you don't feel you should do unless you get paid for it? Forget the resume, let's see the latest cover letter you sent out. Like, go into your sent folder and post it here.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:04
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Xenocides posted:Please watch this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw Oh goddammit, now I'm reading every one of Benny's posts in the xtranormal bear's voice.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:21
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Benny the Snake posted:Oh believe me; the writing is all a hobby and a pipe dream to get published right now. Anyway, time to send out more cover letters and resumes. Can you clarify what you thought you should have done to fight harder for that insurance job? Did you feel that way about the interview, or about the phone call in which you were told that the job went to the more experienced candidate? Does the resume service you use also do mock interview critiques? That would be really helpful for you, considering it seems like interviewing is more of an issue than your resume.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:22
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Benny the Snake posted:Oh believe me; the writing is all a hobby and a pipe dream to get published right now. Anyway, time to send out more cover letters and resumes. You just said a few hours ago that you're only looking for daytime office jobs so that you can have time to concentrate on writing your best-seller. Now that everyone has called you out as a lovely writer, you're brushing it off as a pipe dream?
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Aug 9, 2013 23:23
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Arch Stanton posted:You just said a few hours ago that you're only looking for daytime office jobs so that you can have time to concentrate on writing your best-seller.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:24
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Tojai posted:Can you clarify what you thought you should have done to fight harder for that insurance job? This isn't 1965 and he isn't applying to a factory then calling every day looking for new openings. This isn't some fancy corporate gig which requires a little wheeling and dealing. It's a position he applied for, tried to interview well for and then didn't get. Not much going on there. Accretionist fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Aug 9, 2013 |
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Aug 9, 2013 23:35
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Dead Cow posted:Dude, don't be an rear end in a top hat, they pay people to donate plasma because there's a loving need for it. He has something someone is willing to pay for, and he could use the money. Fine. As someone who actually on occasion purchases human serum albumen, I'll hope that my next batch is from our OP.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:36
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Benny the Snake posted:Pipe dream for now, anyway. I have to focus on office work. Actually, you don't HAVE to focus on office work. I've read this entire thread and so far you've HAD to get a job pushing carts, HAD to be an intern, HAD to do this or that. You need to get out of the mindset that there's only one type of job you CAN do. Honestly, you seem like you might be a decent candidate for retail - not like Abercrombie (that was the place you interview at, right?) but maybe some non-chain or regional-chain type place. Hell, you worked at Target and said you did "OK" as a cashier. Have you thought about grocery stores? You could do third shift stocking, be a cashier, even be a damned three day a week bag boy at this rate and make more money than you are right now. If you can't do this, and I say this trying to not be mean but there's only one way to say it, I think you might need to seriously consider applying for disability on the grounds of being completely unable to work due to physical or mental incapability. If you can't hold the most minimum effort job, there's something fundamentally wrong here, and from everything you've posted in the past month or so it seems like ANY work is a "pipe dream" for you.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:58
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"Office Work" isn't a job. I wanted you to post info on your past work experience, because I wanna give you a list of industries and specific positions. You don't even have to post company names. I just want titles and descriptions. I'm not trying to figure you out, I just wanna know what type of directions apply to you. I'll actually encourage you to not post your name, address, names of companies, etc. I don't wanna have to pick through 60 pages of posts, in order to piece together your work history. I remember you were campaign staff on some election. So there's that and line chef or something? I can't even remember. Political campaign experience is a big deal. If you'd be more willing to poke your head out of your shell, you might be able to find a campaign and/or fundraiser job that's willing to pay for relocation. Seriously, it's driving me nuts that you won't even post your (personal informationless) resume. I know people who started off volunteering for campaigns, got some connections, used them and now they're set for life, traveling around, jumping from campaign to campaign. You could have poo poo to do. Look outside of your suburban California town. I swear man, if you got 2 more campaigns under your belt, you could call some shots. You could have fuckshit grammar skills, belt out some bullshit "copy-written" douchy, campaign slogan, then order some intern to proof read it. I just found this, without even a lick of reading. I literally typed "campaign jobs" into Google, clicked the first, second or third link and here's what came up. http://www.barefootstudent.com/boston/jobs/internship/paid_campaign_intern_139257?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed How is this not right up your alley? Whoever posted this ad has your grammar skills! It looks awesome and you'd be a professional writer! gently caress a penny! Let's get rid of that poo poo! Send them an essay on why pennies are loving pointless! This poo poo is everywhere. This particular posting is in Woburn, Ma. because I live in Boston and google just geolocated the results. Idea is the same, location is different. cname fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Aug 10, 2013 |
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Aug 10, 2013 01:07
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cname posted:How is this not right up your alley? He doesn't want to leave the nest without thoroughly testing his wings (his words). He's unwilling to leave his parents' home because he's comfortable enough to be totally complacent about it.
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Aug 10, 2013 01:22
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I still think paying for a resume service when he was getting interviews was silly. The problem is clearly how he interviews and not the cv. Or he wouldn't be consistently getting to that stage then falling at the final hurdle.
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Aug 10, 2013 01:51
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gently caress Benney. You have 60 pages of replies to your OP, gently caress.
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Aug 10, 2013 08:51
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Either you all suck at English as badly as Benny, or else no one read his blog. This is the name of his blog: quote:thereptilereviewer That's right, not one, but two words misspelled and one malapropism. Benny, 'errata' is a collection of corrections, issued to fix mistakes with an initial printing. I'm assuming you figured that the card rulings for Magic the Gathering or some similarly nerdy rules update or comic retcon meant that errata means "secret nerd poo poo," but it loving doesn't. You want to edit professionally, and you can't read THE TITLE OF YOUR loving BLOG enough to fix spelling errors that pop up in any spellcheck. Add to that your tenuous grasp of the language - for someone with delusions of sesquipedalianism, you're coming up short, buttercup. Don't use ten cent words when your pockets don't jingle. You have enough problems with individual periods and commas; don't loving stack them. If you ever want to become a writer capable of producing something even barely worth the effort it takes to read, much less become some artisan of bespoke wordin's fer the edoocated, you need to step the gently caress off your high horse, because it's both low and dead. You suck at putting words next to each other. You make sentences like two-legged chairs. Other people may find writing comes naturally to them. Unfortunately, you are not them. You have tremendous difficulty with so many elements of writing that your school should be embarrassed for passing you. And it will remain that way until you stop making excuses, own your faults, and put in the hard effort to fix them. Benny you bad.
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Aug 10, 2013 09:32
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Sigma-X posted:Either you all suck at English as badly as Benny, or else no one read his blog. Maybe it's you who haven't read the thread with all the same complaints?
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Aug 10, 2013 10:19
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kimbo305 posted:Maybe it's you who haven't read the thread with all the same complaints? It's me, I'm the benny. I missed the one-line post with the title in it after a wave of posts reading the content but apparently skipping over the title, sorry dude.
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Aug 10, 2013 10:47
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It's cool. This can count as your eratta.
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Aug 10, 2013 14:50
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Sigma-X posted:artisan of bespoke wordin's fer the edoocated Putting that on my CV, thanks.
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Aug 10, 2013 17:09
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I don't think Benny is actually incapable of holding down a job like some people are suggesting, he's just not really motivated to do so. He's never actually been in a position where there wasn't going to be that safety net of his parents' roof and food waiting for him at the end of the shift. Grocery store jobs are really stressful, thankless and lovely, I wouldn't care enough to do it properly either when at the end of the day my living situation isn't really going to be much different whether I hold the job or not! It's intense, physically demanding and emotionally taxing work in comparison to working in an office. The difference is jobs like that usually require a level of responsibility and commitment Benny probably can't muster up, but he'd be in a comparatively humanizing environment, which for someone with mental health issues makes a huge difference. Benny, I have no doubt you're going to have to be thrown to the wolves by your family before you're going to be able to succeed at any kind of real, paying work. And I'm sure that will happen, sooner or later, but for the time being I think focusing on your mental health is a bigger priority than clambering back into the unskilled labor pool immediately. I hope you keep writing as well, even if everyone here calls everything you do poo poo. You could stand some constructive criticism and editing for sure, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun with it and if you stick with it and put a bit more critical thought into it, you will improve. I just hope you haven't become totally discouraged about it, it's a healthy outlet that you could definitely use right now.
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Aug 10, 2013 17:38
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Can't you go to trade school or get an associate's degree? This writing poo poo isn't going to work out for you, there are about a million other nerds on the internet making 5 cents a month of google adsense writing stupid movie reviews no one gives a poo poo about. There's no money there for you, and half the jobs you've found relevant to your education are flat out scams. Maybe you can get an x-ray tech job scanning dudes balls for testicular torsion. Healthcare and IT, that's where the money is right now.
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Aug 10, 2013 17:43
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Benny, first of all, congrats on getting the help you need. However, your priorities are still all messed up. Look, your problem isn't your resume- you get interviews, you get hired, and then you get fired right after. 3 times in the last 6 months. Forget about making money at writing. Do it as a hobby, fine, but leave it at that. You need to be realistic. Sure, 7 year olds dream about being astronauts and spies rather than accounts payable coordinators and assistant sysadmins, but they grow up. Maybe they use the money they save at those jobs to buy Blu-Rays about space, but the point is, they grow up and adapt to the situation. You need to set goals. Right now, everything for you is in the fantasy stage- "maybe one day" is getting you nowhere, fast. Forget about 5-year and 10-year plans for now. Make up four plans: Where do you want to be in 1 Month, 3 Months, 6 Months and One Year. What are you going to do to get there? Do this. Do it now.
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Aug 10, 2013 19:30
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Sigma-X posted:Benny, 'errata' is a collection of corrections, issued to fix mistakes with an initial printing.  Every context I've seen it in led me to believe that it meant "random poo poo".
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Aug 10, 2013 21:44
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Sigma-X posted:Either you all suck at English as badly as Benny, or else no one read his blog. This is a very good post. Benny, you're not a very good writer. You make errors that go way beyond the "grammar and spelling" you're concerned about. From what I've seen on these forums, though, there's still hope - you just have to write, like, a whole big bunch every day (and accept the criticism that goons offer). I swear, if you weren't hovering around twenty years old, I would think I knew you. I went to college with another self-proclaimed "writer". This was back in the stone age, so there was no Internet to lambast his efforts. Many years later, after getting some severe rejection and harsh critique, he gave up on being a writer. He became a fishing boat captain instead, and is approximately ten billion times happier since he got to go something he was good at. Though he's now retired, he realized that writing was just one of those things he was never going to make a living from. If you're serious (ha) about the movie "reivew" page, you should do some reading. Not all movie critics are Ebert-style intellectuals; check out The Filthy Critic (http://www.filthycritic.com/), for example. He's a Real Movie Reviewer, but writes this site on the side for a totally different audience. Might be something you could emulate.
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Aug 10, 2013 23:14
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Benny, if you want, I could give you some pointers on how to write your reviews (mostly how to structure them better, because that really needs some improvement), because I really think that if you just put a little more effort into it, you could massively improve your reviews. But only if you say that you actually want some help with this, because I feel that right now, you don't want to put any effort in improving and are just making excuses for not trying to improve. And that's just lazy. Cause seriously man, I'm not the most amazing writer in the world or anything, but even I cringed when I read your recent Elysium review. It's not just spelling I'm talking about, you do not seem to have a grasp on basic sentence structure, or how to build a proper argument. I really don't mean this as an insult, please, just go back and simply read the first sentence of your review, and you might see what I mean. Good job on getting the help you need, btw. And for the record, I wouldn't offer to help if I thought you were completely hopeless, you just need to first return to the basics and then focus on improving one step at a time. Also practise, practise, practise.
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Aug 11, 2013 15:06
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A Platinum Turtle posted:Benny, if you want, I could give you some pointers on how to write your reviews (mostly how to structure them better, because that really needs some improvement), because I really think that if you just put a little more effort into it, you could massively improve your reviews. But only if you say that you actually want some help with this, because I feel that right now, you don't want to put any effort in improving and are just making excuses for not trying to improve. And that's just lazy. I think I've asked this three times in this thread and gotten ignored every time. Benny, is English your first language? Your writing ability suggests it's not.
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Aug 11, 2013 15:21
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A Platinum Turtle posted:
What the gently caress is a "piratical effect?" What does he think Mexico City looks like? And for the love of good, why hasn't he corrected the title of the dang blog yet?
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Aug 11, 2013 16:47
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A Platinum Turtle posted:Benny, if you want, I could give you some pointers on how to write your reviews (mostly how to structure them better, because that really needs some improvement), because I really think that if you just put a little more effort into it, you could massively improve your reviews. But only if you say that you actually want some help with this, because I feel that right now, you don't want to put any effort in improving and are just making excuses for not trying to improve. And that's just lazy.
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Aug 11, 2013 18:05
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Benny the Snake posted:Would you? I appreciate your help. Benny, this thread has given you a lot of poo poo (some of it deserved), but I'm rooting for you. From experience, I know it's very difficult to make big changes in your life, even if you're receptive to new ideas, and there are lots of false starts and regressing back to old habits. Just keep at it and every time you feel like giving up at something, remind yourself that you wanna get the hell away from your family and tell the lazy change-fearing part of you to gently caress off.
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Aug 11, 2013 18:40
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Benny, cover letter. When you started this thread, it was for help getting out of a lovely living situation. Don't lose sight of this goal and turn it into a writing workshop. And did we ever find out what happened to your landscaping negotiations?
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Aug 11, 2013 18:47
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Eris posted:Benny, cover letter. Yeah, I'm sorry Benny, but Eris is right. It's my fault for offering help, I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. My apologies. Improving your review-writing skills is something you can start later, once you've got things in order. Right now it would just distract you, and I should've realised that. Once you move out of your parent's house though, I'll definitely give you any advice I can 
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Aug 11, 2013 20:31
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You know what, I'll post here the two academic projects that I put on my resume. Later though, I'll need time to go over them and edit. The two are final papers; one's a scientific lab paper on the California Sheephead and another is an analysis of Chaucer's "The Pardoner's Tale" and "The Physician's Tale" as an extended metaphor of the inherently diseased nature of men and the Black Plague. I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers.
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Aug 11, 2013 21:08
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Benny the Snake posted:You know what, I'll post here the two academic projects that I put on my resume. Later though, I'll need time to go over them and edit. The two are final papers; one's a scientific lab paper on the California Sheephead and another is an analysis of Chaucer's "The Pardoner's Tale" and "The Physician's Tale" as an extended metaphor of the inherently diseased nature of men and the Black Plague. I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers. Is there a reason you won't post a cover letter?
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Aug 11, 2013 21:09
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Benny the Snake posted:I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers. You mean "prospective." Editing is not the career for you.
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Aug 11, 2013 21:28
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lexan posted:You mean "prospective." Editing is not the career for you.
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Aug 11, 2013 22:21
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Benny the Snake posted:You know what, I'll post here the two academic projects that I put on my resume. Later though, I'll need time to go over them and edit. The two are final papers; one's a scientific lab paper on the California Sheephead and another is an analysis of Chaucer's "The Pardoner's Tale" and "The Physician's Tale" as an extended metaphor of the inherently diseased nature of men and the Black Plague. I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers. What the gently caress for? What are we gonna do with that? Why?! Your posts are the dead birds my dog leaves on the doorstep every month. Your all proud, thinking you dun good, while we're all scratching our heads thinking "What the hell am I supposed to do with this disgusting thing?" cname fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Aug 11, 2013 |
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Aug 11, 2013 22:42
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Benny the Snake posted:You know what, I'll post here the two academic projects that I put on my resume. Later though, I'll need time to go over them and edit. The two are final papers; one's a scientific lab paper on the California Sheephead and another is an analysis of Chaucer's "The Pardoner's Tale" and "The Physician's Tale" as an extended metaphor of the inherently diseased nature of men and the Black Plague. I'll need those edited if I'll have to present them to perspective employers. Cover letter. And get someone to interview you on skype. Interviews is a big part of your problem. ps. Why would you need academic projects edited? You handed them in. They are the two pieces from three or four years of a higher education in English you are most proud of. Why wouldn't they already be postworthy?
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Aug 11, 2013 23:33
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Wouldn't editing your own past works and presenting them as examples of your undergrad work be sort of plagiarism? You can plagiarize yourself. Seems very dishonest at least. Cover letter.
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Aug 11, 2013 23:42
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cname posted:What the gently caress for? What are we gonna do with that? Why?! Your posts are the dead birds my dog leaves on the doorstep every month. Your all proud, thinking you dun good, while we're all scratching our heads thinking "What the hell am I supposed to do with this disgusting thing?" Benny, your writing for fun is a painful mess. I tried to read several of your reviews and couldn't make it through any of them. Why in the hell would we want to read your take on Chaucer?
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Aug 11, 2013 23:48
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Wouldn't editing your own past works and presenting them as examples of your undergrad work be sort of plagiarism? You can plagiarize yourself. Seems very dishonest at least. If they want writing samples, then editing your own pieces from a while back seems like fair game. It's all you, even if it's past you + present you. Not sure if it's a good idea to use obvious class papers for a professional writing sample, but that doesn't really ping my ethics radar.
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Aug 12, 2013 01:54
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How are these academic papers relevant to your job search? The jobs you have managed to pick up haven't exactly been the types of places that care about writing samples and such. Have you gone back to the Department of Labor (might be called Unemployment Office)? Have you gone back to your university's career center?
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Aug 12, 2013 01:56
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