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Dude, I have tried but she is just set on this. I was about to just cut all contact but, the daughter came into things so I tried to be all "you totally cant abandon your daughter." I tried saying "I am not nearly as serious as you, do NOT do this for me." She just told me this is what she has been planning for years, it's not for me it was just that I taught her how to be free enough to finally do it or some poo poo. It's like, I can't stop this, it's gonna happen whether I leave or not. And maybe it's for the best, I don't know. Edit: I'm gonna text her and tell her this too intense for me, and I need some space right now. Nothing that's gonna get her driving over here pounding on my door at midnight (that totally happened when I was mad cuz she was mad because she said she saw me checking out some other girls, which like in retrospect with all things considered what the gently caress?) But just kinda work my way out I guess. But I really dont want her to get a divorce, for her own sake because I don't know how shes going to support herself and I totally cant/dont want to. BrainDance fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Aug 9, 2013 |
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Aug 9, 2013 14:54
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A depressing reality of this country is that women in bad relationships have the options of -Staying with their husbands -Leaning on family who hate them for bringing embarrassment to them -Working for three lowest wages relative to make counterparts in the OECD -Finding greener pastures It's funny she mentions independence, because financial independence is likely out of her reach.
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Aug 9, 2013 15:07
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BrainDance posted:She just told me this is what she has been planning for years, it's not for me it was just that I taught her how to be free enough to finally do it or some poo poo. It's like, I can't stop this, it's gonna happen whether I leave or not. And maybe it's for the best, I don't know. Yeah, it's going to happen either way, I'm just stressing that you aren't responsible for this, and you don't have to take responsibility for it. I know it's noble and poo poo, but it's a big decision. The daughter just makes it all the more heartbreaking. Poor kid doesn't deserve this.  BrainDance posted:Edit: I'm gonna text her and tell her this too intense for me, and I need some space right now. Nothing that's gonna get her driving over here pounding on my door at midnight Oh, you're going to get stalked. That's gonna happen. quote:But just kinda work my way out I guess. But I really dont want her to get a divorce, for her own sake because I don't know how shes going to support herself and I totally cant/dont want to. She already set that ball rolling. It's awful, it's heartbreaking, but as you said, you can't take it on for her. The Bible fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Aug 9, 2013 |
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Aug 9, 2013 15:44
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BrainDance, you need to leave now. Pack up your poo poo and pull a midnight run. Go. Don't come back. Don't contact her. Save yourself. There's nothing here for you. Don't waste another day, week, or month trying to help the situation. Take it from someone who should have pulled the ripcord 5 years ago.
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Aug 9, 2013 18:07
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But I like my life and this job, and I like this city. I'm not about to ditch it all to avoid dealing with this. Although that thought kind of crossed my mind, I can always easily hop back to Pohang. I'd rather not though. At the end of the day, we're not facebook friends so all is well. I'm good at changing my locks.
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Aug 9, 2013 18:49
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Just ignore her. It's not your business nor obligation. Don't reply to texts or calls.
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Aug 9, 2013 22:50
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BrainDance posted:I'm not asking for advice, or anything like that (but I am thinking about everything you guys said so thank you.) Just not going out or anything tonight so I'm putting this here entirely for you guy's entertainment. Maybe you'll get some enjoyment out of staring into the abyss. This quote sounds like postpartum depression moving into full-on depression. Without getting all internet shrink, she needs professional help, she really really does. It does not get better on its own. I don't know how mental health is dealt with in Korea (from a quick search, its dealt with pretty badly), but she is lucky she has lasted this long, and is only now starting with the destructive behavior. She needs to see multiple doctors until they are willing to provide the correct treatment for her, with treatment she will get better.
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Aug 9, 2013 23:33
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Wibbleman posted:This quote sounds like postpartum depression moving into full-on depression. Without getting all internet shrink, she needs professional help, she really really does. It does not get better on its own. I don't know how mental health is dealt with in Korea (from a quick search, its dealt with pretty badly), but she is lucky she has lasted this long, and is only now starting with the destructive behavior. Mental illness is very heavily stigmatized here. Sadly, making it known in any capacity is likely to only make things worse for her. If you think she's unemployable now, just wait until that hits her medical records. And yes, there is doctor-patient confidentiality here, but lol if you think that is going to matter in the slightest.
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Aug 10, 2013 00:01
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The Bible posted:there is doctor-patient confidentiality here Do Koreans get it? We foreigners certainly don't.
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Aug 10, 2013 00:06
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Whizbang posted:Do Koreans get it? We foreigners certainly don't. They sure don't either. Even if some member of your family received any sort of metal health treatment, or god forbid was institutionalized, everyone at your work will find out and gossip about it.
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Aug 10, 2013 00:35
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Whizbang posted:Do Koreans get it? We foreigners certainly don't. They're supposed to, but it doesn't seem to work out too well a lot of the time. My doctor is as tight-lipped as they come with my medical poo poo, though. I had to sign something just so my wife could be in the room while he discussed a routine physical with me, so they aren't all bad. In general, though, you shouldn't expect the level of privacy you get back home. There are clinics you can go to that guarantee anonymity, mostly in Itaewon, but they aren't really family doctors you'd see regularly, mostly STD clinics and the like, but you can get prescriptions for psych meds at some of them. It's pricy though. The Bible fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Aug 10, 2013 |
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Aug 10, 2013 00:49
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Confidentiality? Never in my Korea. You'd be surprised at how easy things slip and leak.
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Aug 10, 2013 01:25
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I went to a doctor here in Busan to get some anxiety meds and the nurse took pains to explain to me that their practice was "110% confidential." Suggesting, I suppose, that that isn't typically the case. rolecks posted:I rooted my old rear end Galaxy Ace without any issue. I was able to then remove a lot of the crap SK put on there. With only 175mb of onboard storage every little bit counts. My kindys make fun of my phone too... Thanks. It seems like just getting a new launcher will fix some of the problems I have so I might try that first. I do hate knowing there's stuff on it I don't want though, I loving loathe Korean software. It's a spotless Galaxy S3, you'd just have to take over the contract. I think. As for the ongoing drama, here's a bit more advice from St Swerengen. This could apply to either parties involved. joedevola fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Aug 10, 2013 |
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Aug 10, 2013 01:31
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joedevola posted:I went to a doctor here in Busan to get some anxiety meds and the nurse took pains to explain to me that their practice was "110% confidential." The whole confidentiality definition in Korea is that 'We won't tell anyone not involved' which isn't really kept anyway. This means that if you go to grab anti-depressant meds your family can easily find out. (Or maybe a company you're applying for can, too?) Same applies for when you buy mobile phone. Your information is easily retrieved once it goes into the data, and anyone with access can retrieve information on (Name, phone, etc etc.) millions of people and sell it for 50 won a piece or something. If you suddenly start receiving spams, then it means your information got leaked from somewhere. 
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Aug 10, 2013 01:43
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There is a social services thing you can contact to report neglected children (my main school had to get in touch with them last year on the behalf of a student) It might be worthwhile to give them a heads up about the daughter. I'll try to find the information once I get home.
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Aug 10, 2013 02:23
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Hey everyone I'm leaving for Korea tomorrow and was hoping to get reinvited back to the Kakao group. I didn't realize when I installed it on my tablet that it would remove everything on my phone. My Kakao ID is abbyev89. Thanks!
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Aug 10, 2013 14:59
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Guys I have the best ever photo of my gf riding a rollercoaster. She asked me to promise her I wouldn't post it on the Kakao chat when I get back but I promised nothing. Give me moral guidance.
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Aug 11, 2013 04:50
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Eifert Posting posted:Guys I have the best ever photo of my gf riding a rollercoaster. She asked me to promise her I wouldn't post it on the Kakao chat when I get back but I promised nothing. Give me moral guidance. Post it then delete chat history so she will never find out.
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Aug 11, 2013 04:51
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Took me a second to realize who this was. I can't wait til Eifert goes bust too
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Aug 11, 2013 06:20
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Gildiss posted:Post it then delete chat history so she will never find out. This works. She shall have 0 proof!
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Aug 11, 2013 06:24
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Arctic Baldwin posted:Took me a second to realize who this was. I can't wait til Eifert goes bust too My girlfriend asks a suspicious number of questions about him. And at training camp she was bouncing up and down and taking like 15 pics of him while waiting for his autograph. Then when they made him leave when she was about four people away she pouted for a good twenty minutes. 
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Aug 11, 2013 14:44
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Finally got a kaokao account. If you could invite Nick Gary Flint thatd be great.
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Aug 12, 2013 04:54
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Go to More > My Profile, then check the box to Make my ID searchable.
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Aug 12, 2013 05:05
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Can you even have 3 words with spaces as a Kakao ID? drat.
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Aug 12, 2013 05:15
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Today I heard a little boy screech "You're such a Demi-Crat!" at his mother as she dragged him to their car in a Target parking lot. It wasn't even a Walmart. I want to go home.
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Aug 12, 2013 05:41
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Whoops i assumed the dumb name i made for my account was my id. If you search EasternBronze that should come up now.
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Aug 12, 2013 06:09
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Eifert Posting posted:Today I heard a little boy screech "You're such a Demi-Crat!" at his mother as she dragged him to their car in a Target parking lot. Saw any kids shouting 'You're such a republican!'?
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Aug 12, 2013 06:16
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Anyone been to this place before? http://injejump.co.kr and is it cool? I guess I'm going with a friend next month and I wanna know if it's worth the trip? Is it all safe-safe or is it Korea-safe?
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Aug 12, 2013 14:03
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BrainDance posted:Anyone been to this place before? http://injejump.co.kr and is it cool? I guess I'm going with a friend next month and I wanna know if it's worth the trip? I'm more keen on hearing about how your relationship ended  It's probably Korea-safe, but since I've never been there I wouldn't know.
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Aug 12, 2013 14:10
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BrainDance posted:Anyone been to this place before? http://injejump.co.kr and is it cool? I guess I'm going with a friend next month and I wanna know if it's worth the trip? Well, I haven't heard of anyone dying, so you're good, unless you're asking if it has a high risk of death so you can invite your girlfriend.
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Aug 12, 2013 14:36
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Vietnam Asian-ifies drinks too. Mint liqueur in a fresh mint cocktail when it's cheaper to use fresh and you can step outside to get it. I am offended to my very core. Why in Vietnam of all places would you use mint liqueur in a cocktail calling for fresh mint. Run outside and call for mint and I'm sure someone can provide it in seconds for cheaper. I rarely refuse to finish a drink because you know sober men in Ireland and all that, but that's one of the worst drink sins. I kind of expect it in Korea, but Vietnam was touched by the French.
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Aug 12, 2013 14:46
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Aesis posted:I'm more keen on hearing about how your relationship ended Haha, hey guy that's.... Heyyyyyyyy.... I just wanna go do some bungee jumping you know?
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Aug 12, 2013 14:49
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BrainDance posted:Haha, hey guy that's.... Heyyyyyyyy.... I just wanna go do some bungee jumping you know? Well I haven't heard of anyone dying there so you can try.
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Aug 12, 2013 14:52
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BrainDance posted:Haha, hey guy that's.... Heyyyyyyyy.... I just wanna go do some bungee jumping you know? Is this your cry for help? I can't tell.
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Aug 12, 2013 15:18
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DontAskKant posted:Vietnam Asian-ifies drinks too. Mint liqueur in a fresh mint cocktail when it's cheaper to use fresh and you can step outside to get it. Considering the kind of Europeans that wash up in SE Asia they were probably corrected into doing that by the French.
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Aug 12, 2013 15:27
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Eifert Posting posted:Considering the kind of Europeans that wash up in SE Asia they were probably corrected into doing that by the French. So all the French that were kicked out of France for being beyond salvation.
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Aug 12, 2013 15:51
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Les arrivistes.
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Aug 12, 2013 17:33
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I have a buddy that just got placed in gangwon province through EPIK. Can anyone give me some local "bullet points" he should know of? All I know of Gangwon is Sokcho and Mt. Seoraksan because of a trip I took there one time. Nothing really memorable I can remember.
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Aug 12, 2013 21:46
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A friend gave me this before I left: Is there anyway I can check the balance on the card? And to recharge it I just walk into any convenience store? Is there a machine or does the cashier do it? Edit: Bonus question, do any of these buttons heat the toilet seat? I'm pretty terrified of this thing and don't want to press random buttons.  Thanks! Butt Soup Barnes fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Aug 12, 2013 |
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Aug 12, 2013 22:17
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Butt Soup Barnes posted:A friend gave me this before I left: You can get it done at convenience stores with that "Tmoney" logo in the window. The cashier does it. You can also use the machines at the entrances to subways stations if you want to avoid human contact. Butt Soup Barnes posted:
Hope this helps: http://imgur.com/VNf9Kv9
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Aug 12, 2013 23:13
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