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Anya posted:Yay babbies! Several friends of mine have had all theirs in the last month so it's fun to look for birthday friends for them. I went to Boston, 5 hours away, for a weekend when I was 37 weeks. It was fine but I was worried about going into labor while I was there.
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Aug 13, 2013 19:19
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Not that it's likely but at 36 weeks I was told we were inducing in a week due to a hypertension that I didn't have until sometime between week 35 amd 36. I barely had time to get everything in order.
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Aug 13, 2013 19:22
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Anya posted:So am I dumb for doing this (answer probably yes). I was in great shape at 36 weeks, other than the constant peeing (so don't plan anything where you lack decent toilet facilities), and would have had no problems doing the things you describe (with frequent breaks on the car ride for bathroom trips), but there's no guarantee with pregnancies, so I wouldn't make very expensive non-refundable plans. And there's always the risk of suddenly going into labour somewhere that's not home, but you'll most likely not, so that's just something you've got to decide for yourself based on how you're feeling then.
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Aug 13, 2013 19:26
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Anya posted:Yay babbies! Several friends of mine have had all theirs in the last month so it's fun to look for birthday friends for them. Thank you all for the tearing advice! I'll give it another week and see how it feels.
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Aug 13, 2013 20:26
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Anya posted:n to look for birthday friends for them. It'll depend how you feel closer to the date. Some doctors will have you take baby aspirin as a precaution if you're going to be sitting for long stretches of time. I did a cross-border trip at 37 or 38 weeks with my last pregnancy (about 6 hours driving), and it was ok, though I cancelled a business trip this time that would have been at 34/35 weeks because I was on a 6 hour flight at 33 weeks or so that was super lovely, and I wasn't keen to repeat it. If it's a fun vacation though, those are awesome, especially if it gives you a break from work, so hopefully you're feeling up to it.
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Aug 13, 2013 23:47
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Yeah, I have Wed and Friday off of work, and Turkey Week is all very low key with the family. I just haven't made it up there in 3 years and this is my chance to see everyone (it was my first trip as a 2 week old and what I've always done until the last two years). The only problem is that the husband can't come with me, so this kid has to stay in until I get back. I was kind of hesitant about it, but my sister is getting on the train a couple stops later and that made me feel better about everything - having a family member along to lug my bags will be nice. Got the sleeper since I felt it would be more comfy to have my own bathroom to pee in every hour than having to stop a car...plus if you have driven from south eastern Ohio to Chicago on Turkey week, it's such a bitch. This makes it very stress free for me.
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Aug 14, 2013 01:06
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I feel like I want to pull my hair out. Stephen is 11 months old now, and the past few months have been very stressful. Actually, since my husband deployed, things have been really stressful. Little man is teething and NOTHING makes him happy. I understand that this is normal and not his fault, but it frustrates me to no end. He hates cold toys, so those are out. I tried giving him a cold, damp wash cloth to gnaw on and he doesn't want that. Or teething tablets. I don't want to give him Tylenol unless he's having an absolute meltdown and he can't get relief any other way. He has four teeth at the moment and must be cutting another one because he's drooling like crazy and will crawl over to me and then pull himself up and start trying to gnaw on my knees (OW!). He'll have fits where he doesn't want to be held or put down, he doesn't want his bottle but if I take it away he screams, and he's exhausted but won't sleep. My MIL, even though she means well, isn't helping. I never thought I was an incompetent mother until I moved in with her. She make cracks about, "what will you do when you move back home and I'm not there to help you?" and then tell my son, "mommy's not going to know what to do". One night, Stephen woke up at 3am and was wide-awake. Anything I tried to get him to go back to sleep was pointless. I had to work the next morning and could feel myself getting frustrated, so I took a deep breath, left the bedroom and sat down in the family room. I wasn't crying or anything, I just needed a breather. My MIL came home from work (she works nights), asked what happened and then took Stevie for a bit so I could try to get some sleep. She's held on to that ever since. "You know, at some point you won't have anyone there to help you when you're sitting out on the couch, crying at 3 in the morning." I WASN'T CRYING, AND IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A BREATHER SO YOU DON'T YELL AT YOUR CHILD. And even if I was crying, so what? I have a right to let out my frustration! Friends have said that if they could, they'd fly out and help me with everything, and my MIL scoffs at it. "I don't understand this need to coddle. When I had my boys, I did everything myself. No one helped me." That's fine, but I'm not YOU, lady! Even getting a nasty stomach virus that landed me in the ER seemed to make me a crappy mom. (It was awful. I could barely keep fluids down and couldn't even pick Stephen up without vomiting or voiding my bowels). She took care of Stephen for me that day, but at 6am the next morning she woke me up and told me, "moms only get one day". I managed to drag myself out of bed and do what I had to do, but it still made me feel terrible. Lupus and any kind of bad virus make for a miserable, extremely fatigued mama. To be honest, I feel a lot calmer when she isn't home. I wish I had never moved in with her. I'd be more lonely, but I'd also be more relaxed if I had just stayed in Tucson during this deployment. Instead I'm trying to prove myself to my MIL, and work, and now set up a house back in Tucson while Joe is gone. And no, she never had to do anything by herself because her husband was home at the end of the day to help. He was gone for maybe a month once, but that's still not 6 or 7 months. I feel like I'm a terrible wife and mother and that I'm failing at everything. Parenting was supposed to be such a joy, and all I want to do is cry. I feel like Stephen deserves a much better parent than myself.
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Aug 14, 2013 18:00
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Sounds like you have a mother-in-law problem not a parenting problem. There's a reason why there are so many mother-in-law jokes out there! What a bully. You need to get your own place, and quick. Doesn't the army provide accommodation?
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Aug 14, 2013 18:20
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Yeah seriously, your mother-in-law sounds like a total bitch, holy poo poo.
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Aug 14, 2013 19:05
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CravingSolace, anyway you can get out sooner? Your MIL is way out of line with some of those comments. Taking care of your baby without your husband is isolating enough without her backhanded digs.Anya posted:Yay babbies! Several friends of mine have had all theirs in the last month so it's fun to look for birthday friends for them. Hey, I'm also due on December 19th and am also expecting a boy! 
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Aug 14, 2013 20:00
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Ditch the mother-in-law and give your baby some tylenol  It's meant for pain, and they don't understand why they're hurting. The worst of the pain won't last that long, and then you'll be back to gnawing and drooling without the fits and crying.
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Aug 14, 2013 20:12
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CravingSolace posted:Holy gently caress Mother-In-Law Does your husband's unit have a Family Readiness Group? Get a hold of them, and explain your situation. They might even have someone you can stay with in Tuscon while you get your own place set up. She has no reason to talk to you like that other than to be an rear end. She also has no idea of the stress you're under with your husband being gone so long.
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Aug 14, 2013 20:13
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Ben Davis posted:Ditch the mother-in-law and give your baby some tylenol This. Or Advil. We found it way better for teething than Tylenol.
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Aug 14, 2013 20:25
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CravingSolace posted:I feel like I want to pull my hair out. Poor lady  Hopefully you are able to find a place to live, and resources on base that can help you, instead of nag you at 3am. Shoving a kid on you when you're trying to not puke or poo poo all over the place seems somewhat morally wrong on a grandma level.
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Aug 14, 2013 21:11
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There is base housing, though I think we would have to apply for a space, and I already have a home to move in to. I was staying in Mesa (near Phoenix) because I have a job here and the extra income is nice. I could always move in to my new home sooner. It just means quitting my job and being a stay-at-home mom full-time. That's not a bad thing at all, it's just that I only have one friend in Tucson at the moment and I'm afraid I'd be even more lonely than I am now. My husband is due back home by the end of October (hopefully), so I figured I'd try to tough it out for two more months. My husband's ex-wife also took his daughter away and his parents don't get to see her often, so I'm afraid that my picking up and running to Tucson would come off as some sort of betrayal to them. She's also stressed that leaving the job that I have would make her look bad (she put in a word for me and helped me get it). My family had offered to fly me out to PA for a month or two and my MIL flipped out at that. She did apologize for that later, though. I think I'm one big ball of anxiety right now. I'm going to be going back down to Tucson on September 1st, then I'm flying out to PA to visit family and friends with my son for a week on the 25th, so relief from here IS coming. If she continues with the comments, I'm going to try to have a talk with her about it first, and if she still won't let up then I'll pack up and take Stephen and myself to Tucson ahead of schedule. I've talked to my husband about this, but I hate venting to him because he's already stressed and I don't want him to feel like he needs to take sides. He keeps telling me to talk to her about it, so I'll try that route first. I did end up giving little man some Tylenol this morning when he just couldn't get comfortable and he finally went down for a nap and woke up in a better mood. I have infant ibuprofen, too. His pediatrician says it lasts longer, and I noticed that he doesn't seem fatigued after taking it, just perkier (less pain, I'm guessing).
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Aug 15, 2013 01:39
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Ibuprofen is also an anti inflammatory which is why it might work better on the gums.
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Aug 15, 2013 01:52
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CravingSolace posted:
Your MIL doesn't seem to be caring that her comments and behaviour are offensive and hurtful towards you, so I don't see why you should be overly concerned about her feelings at this point. Then again, it's possible that she's just one of those oblivious people who say awful things then don't understand why people get offended by them (my mother is like this) so hopefully having a chat with her about her behaviour will enlighten her and things will improve for the two months you are to remain there. If they don't, take whatever steps may be necessary to improve your stress levels because this is way more important to prioritise than your MIL's feelings. You and your baby's well being is being impacted negatively by her behaviour, and that's really not on. I do hope though that things improve for you, best of luck
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Aug 15, 2013 05:52
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CravingSolace posted:
I'd rather be lonely than have someone tell me how crap I am all the time, but I can see where both options kind of suck. Knowing absolutely nothing about your husband's ex, if this is how his MIL acts towards you I wouldn't be surprised if it was some sort of contributing factor to them not seeing their other grandchild. Re: Tylenol/Ibuprofen - the best thing is you can alternate them (obviously, check with dr before taking internet advice.) I found it incredibly helpful to alternate between the two the few days my son was going through a particularly rough patch, be it teething or fever. As one starts to wears off, you can give the other without worrying about overdosing. It's what was recommended to me (especially since there's usually that one day in any illness cycle where it all peaks) by our GP.
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Aug 15, 2013 06:04
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ChloroformSeduction posted:I'd rather be lonely than have someone tell me how crap I am all the time, but I can see where both options kind of suck. Knowing absolutely nothing about your husband's ex, if this is how his MIL acts towards you I wouldn't be surprised if it was some sort of contributing factor to them not seeing their other grandchild. I don't know how my MIL treated his ex-wife, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was a bit callous in how she spoke to her. I don't know if it was a contributing factor, though. As for Tylenol/Ibuprofen, I give him the ibuprofen during the day if he's being fussy. It helps with the pain but lets him keep playing and not get tired. I'll give him tylenol more often in the evenings because it seems to relax him a little and lets him sleep. I just wish he liked gnawing on cold/frozen toys instead of my knee or shoulder. Or shoes. He loves grabbing a shoe and tries to get it in his mouth before I take it away. I'm thinking maybe the rubber soles feel good on his gums, so I'm trying to find more teething toys like that.
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Aug 15, 2013 07:06
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We also alternate between Tylenol and Ibuprofen.
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Aug 15, 2013 15:36
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The cure for loneliness as a stay-at-home mother in a new area is to take your little sprog to all sorts of mother and baby meetups - you'll get friends in no time.
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Aug 15, 2013 19:05
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CravingSolace, if you want to, please feel free to contact me at ameliasong1 at gmail. I know a lot of cool moms in the Tucson area.
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Aug 16, 2013 00:03
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So many cute babies. Congrats to all! I'm almost 9 weeks postpartum and oh man, I feel like I have whole body arthritis. I felt better when I was 9 months pregnant! I figured it was the weight gain and being on my feet, lifting my son, feeding him, etc. but I did some Dr. Googling and apparently it's a Thing, and they're not really sure why. I did gain around 50 lbs and have only lost around 12--I weighed 115 at 5'8 pre-pregnancy so I'm now a normal weight instead of very underweight. The pain is worst in my hips and wrists, but my knees are pretty bad, and when I first get up in the morning, the bottoms of my feet hurt. It's always present, but is worse at night/first thing in the morning. It didn't kick in until a few weeks after he was born, I don't remember when but if I had had it while writing the thank you notes for all the baby gifts I got I would never have been able to do them, so I'm thinking it's been around for 4 weeks or so. I've seen everything from breastfeeding, to calcium deficiency, to vitamin D deficiency, to gluten blamed. There's a zillion page long thread on BabyCenter (oh God I know) full of women saying, "Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not alone, my doctor doesn't know what to tell me..." and women being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia! So I guess this is mostly just me complaining but have any of you relatively reasonable women found anything that helps? I'm trying to exercise, but just the daily tasks are almost too much physically right now. I have to fight tears lifting my son and feeding him, and getting him into/out of his carseat and the carseat out of the car... oy. I can't stand while holding him from a low seated position, I need to use my hands to help me up. Using a mouse or keyboard hurts. Whine whine. One thing I do need to get checked is my thyroid--the midwife at my 6 week checkup said it feels like it might be slightly enlarged, but then she forgot to write the lab order (the lab is right there in the office) so I left without getting the bloodwork done. She just sent it in the mail, but I haven't had a chance to go get it tested yet. My mom and aunt all had thyroid problems, so it wouldn't surprise me, also the fact that I'm holding onto the baby weight. (Which is fine with me more or less, I'm a normal weight for my height for the first time in my life, my only complaint is I have a closet full of clothes that will never ever fit me again.)
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Aug 16, 2013 20:05
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I would definitely get your thyroid checked as soon as possible. Relaxin, the hormone that loosens ligaments in your pelvis while your pregnant, is still present in some amount while you're breastfeeding, so that can contribute to some aches and pains. A friend of mine had her arches collapse while pregnant and that completely changed the way her feet felt in shoes, so maybe make sure your shoes fit well too?
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Aug 16, 2013 20:52
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I had the whole body aching thing after Hannah was born. And even some after my miscarriage, which makes me think it's got something to do with the hormones. Around six weeks postpartum I started noticing a good bit of pain from my pubic symphysis, even though I never had pain there during my pregnancy or immediately postpartum. It's been slowly getting better (I'm 15 weeks postpartum now), along with the feet hurting in the morning. For me it's never been as intense as you are describing but it's definitely been the same sorts of pains. I actually thought I was crazy thinking my feet hurt more in the morning until you mentioned it. Hopefully it starts getting better for you soon the way it has for me.
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Aug 16, 2013 21:05
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Just a quick update on me if anyone was wondering. Turns out the pregnancy tests I used were a bit old so the evaporation line showed up and I mistook that for a positive. I became addicted to peeing on sticks, so it was just my fault for finding the old strips and needing to pee on them. I purchased some newer test strips and they are definitely showing a negative. Why am I addicted to peeing on these things!?
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Aug 17, 2013 00:17
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Goobish posted:Why am I addicted to peeing on these things!? If I weren't worried about being committed, I'd still be taking pregnancy tests at almost 14 weeks. Until I can feel this baby moving around inside me, all I've got are some random pictures and a midwife telling me I'm pregnant. The pregnancy test at least gives me a little control over my results.
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Aug 17, 2013 00:25
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I had a strict rule not to use test strips unless I felt like going for a drink (so about every two weeks.) Of course I got pregnant right before a holiday in California so although I managed not to drink I did all sorts of fun stuff you are not meant to do while pregnant like Disneyland rides, and hot tubs, and food poisoning ( the last one was not deliberate.) Baby seems fine.
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Aug 17, 2013 03:29
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sudont posted:I'm almost 9 weeks postpartum and oh man, I feel like I have whole body arthritis. I felt better when I was 9 months pregnant! I figured it was the weight gain and being on my feet, lifting my son, feeding him, etc. but I did some Dr. Googling and apparently it's a Thing, and they're not really sure why. Are you older? I had my daughter at forty and the aches and pains afterwards was awful, like my hands hurt just turning on a facet in the morning. I was convinced I had Lyme or RA or something equally dismal. Anyway, I was told it was a combination of my age and the Relaxin in my joints and the only real cure was to wean. I stuck it out, but it was pretty bad the first six months or so. That said, I found drinking tons of water helped a lot.
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Aug 17, 2013 20:58
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Yeah, I'm 37, so I figured it was age and huge weight gain relative to my starting size. The BabyCenter post is here and actually not too bad for a BabyCenter post. The pain on the bottom of my feet is the weirdest part, it's not a joint! It feels like they're bruised or blistered, though it goes away after I've been up for a while. I'm going to get my thyroid checked and I really just have to suck it up and start doing yoga or walking or something but it's so hard to with this level of pain. (Not to mention impossible to find time for yoga.)
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Aug 17, 2013 22:45
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sudont posted:Yeah, I'm 37, so I figured it was age and huge weight gain relative to my starting size. The BabyCenter post is here and actually not too bad for a BabyCenter post. The pain on the bottom of my feet is the weirdest part, it's not a joint! It feels like they're bruised or blistered, though it goes away after I've been up for a while. I'm going to get my thyroid checked and I really just have to suck it up and start doing yoga or walking or something but it's so hard to with this level of pain. (Not to mention impossible to find time for yoga.) I have tons of aches in my hips, knees and ankles, I'm 6 months postpartum but it only started up in the last month or two. The issue with the bottom of your foot sounds like plantar fasciitis, which is painful and uncomfortable but there's not much to be done for it except stretching. I had a bout of it in my left foot a few years ago and walking was terribly painful when I first woke up in the morning, but the pain eased up after I'd been up for a bit and the tendon in my foot had a chance to stretch.
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Aug 17, 2013 23:23
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I guess that explains why I can't sleep on my side anymore without waking up with tons of hip pain. My hips hurt through the pregnancy too. I have to sleep on my back now, I hate sleeping on my back.
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Aug 18, 2013 01:03
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So far I'm only getting the hip pain if I fall asleep on the lounge or something soft. I've got a reasonably firm latex mattress on my bed and it seems to be keeping me comfortable. So maybe trying out a firmer bed might be of help? If that's not an option, a friend of mine swears by wearing thermal underwear/shorts to bed to alleviate the hip pain.
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Aug 18, 2013 11:26
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Hello pregnancy thread! My wife is 6 weeks along at this point (hooray!) but has been having moderate cramping (with no bleeding) since we learned she was pregnant. The doctor told us this was normal, but was hoping people here might be able to explain a little bit more about why this cramping happens in early pregnancy. Is there any reason why it might be worse on some days than others? Is there anything she can do to relieve some of the pain naturally? Gracias. TracerBullet fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Aug 18, 2013 |
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Aug 18, 2013 18:20
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My two-week-old has apparently forgotten how to sleep. We went to bed at 9:30pm last night and she nursed for 40 minutes, fussed, nursed for 40 minutes, fussed, over and over until 4:30am. Then she slept for a few hours and now she's wide awake and wanting to nurse again. My husband and I are zombies. Is there something we can do to get her to sleep better or is this just what babies are like?
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Aug 18, 2013 18:29
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sudont posted:Yeah, I'm 37, so I figured it was age and huge weight gain relative to my starting size. The BabyCenter post is here and actually not too bad for a BabyCenter post. The pain on the bottom of my feet is the weirdest part, it's not a joint! It feels like they're bruised or blistered, though it goes away after I've been up for a while. I'm going to get my thyroid checked and I really just have to suck it up and start doing yoga or walking or something but it's so hard to with this level of pain. (Not to mention impossible to find time for yoga.) Dear god I'm glad I'm not the only one. I too have been internet diagnosing myself to all hell trying to figure out what is wrong. My feet hurt SO bad in the morning. It feels like I'm trying to walk with 50 pound weights on my feet. My fingers are bad too, I've been getting something called "trigger finger" since I was about 8 months pregnant (about 8 weeks postpartum now). It's where my finger locks up and I have to unlock it forcefully. My hands are weak. I manage to drop things and cant open things. My legs, knees, hips, and lower back hurt really loving bad for awhile, but it seems like it has been letting up some the past couple of weeks. I need to make a doctor appointment rather than internet diagnosing myself, but I just keep thinking it's because I'm old and fat, therefore I should exercise my fatass. Uhg, it just feels like it's so hard to move. Oh and for the record I'm 29. So not that old, but my body has been through a bunch of crap so I'm not surprised if it's aging faster.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:37
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Seven for a Secret posted:My two-week-old has apparently forgotten how to sleep. We went to bed at 9:30pm last night and she nursed for 40 minutes, fussed, nursed for 40 minutes, fussed, over and over until 4:30am. Then she slept for a few hours and now she's wide awake and wanting to nurse again. My husband and I are zombies. Is there something we can do to get her to sleep better or is this just what babies are like? It's what babies are like. My wife and I slept in shifts at that age.
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Aug 18, 2013 19:59
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Goobish posted:Dear god I'm glad I'm not the only one. I too have been internet diagnosing myself to all hell trying to figure out what is wrong. My feet hurt SO bad in the morning. It feels like I'm trying to walk with 50 pound weights on my feet. My fingers are bad too, I've been getting something called "trigger finger" since I was about 8 months pregnant (about 8 weeks postpartum now). It's where my finger locks up and I have to unlock it forcefully. My hands are weak. I manage to drop things and cant open things. My legs, knees, hips, and lower back hurt really loving bad for awhile, but it seems like it has been letting up some the past couple of weeks. I need to make a doctor appointment rather than internet diagnosing myself, but I just keep thinking it's because I'm old and fat, therefore I should exercise my fatass. Uhg, it just feels like it's so hard to move. Oh and for the record I'm 29. So not that old, but my body has been through a bunch of crap so I'm not surprised if it's aging faster. Yeah, I didn't Google to internet-diagnose, but to see if it was a Thing so I'd know whether it was worth going to the doctor about, and it looks like it's just a Thing that happens post-partum to some women and the standard treatment is to rule out serious stuff like RA, lupus, etc. Some days aren't as bad as others luckily. Last night I went to sit up to pick up my son to feed him and my wrist folded wrong though, and today it's swollen. Ugh. I walk like a 90 year old woman. Going for thyroid bloodwork tomorrow, and half-hoping it's why I've only lost like 12 of the 50ish pounds I've gained! (I don't particularly care about losing all 50 as I was very underweight my whole life, but it'd be nice to be able to fit in SOME of my clothes again.)
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Aug 18, 2013 20:13
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Papercut posted:It's what babies are like. My wife and I slept in shifts at that age. I guess I'll need to start pumping if she keeps this schedule up. Either that or learn to nurse in my sleep.
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Aug 18, 2013 22:18
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Seven for a Secret posted:Noooo. Take heart, she'll do this for a few days/a week, then you'll get a little sleep, then she'll do this for a few days/a week, then you'll get a little sleep... over and over  That first month was really, really tough, but now at just over 2 months we're in a nice little groove, with a couple days like the old days when he's having a growth spurt. Just hang in there. It'll get a little easier.
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Aug 18, 2013 22:31
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