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Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
I have a feeling I know my response to this future E/N thread already.

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froglet
Nov 12, 2009

You see, the best way to Stop the Boats is a massive swarm of autonomous armed dogs. Strafing a few boats will stop the rest and save many lives in the long term.

You can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs. Vote Greens.

Socialized posted:

I bring in $1900 a month working a full time job along with a second, part time job. My wife doesn't work. She tries to sell stuff through one of those Mary Kay-style companies, but has very few customers and has spent much more on updating her stock and placing orders to keep her account active than she has made in profit. She has earned less than $1000 in the past two years doing this. So, this isn't very much money at all for two people. We even decided against enrolling in my company's 401k program because having so much taken out of my check every week would be disaster.

Would it be cheaper for you if she just quit the Mary Kay thing? I know a lot of these enterprises involve buying your own stock and it sounds like she's buying in more than she can sell, so maybe it'd be cheaper if she just stopped buying stuff and allowed her account to go inactive? Maybe she could get a job with regular hours instead?

This brings us to a topic I find really fascinating - MLM and dodgy door to door sales companies.

Let's talk about MLM!

What is MLM?
Multi-level marketing (MLM) is a business model where you don't really make any money selling products, the real money is in recruiting others and duping them into selling things because you get a slice of their profits. Ideally, you are at the top of the pyramid and everyone else is selling beneath you so all the money is trickling upwards. Like a pyramid scheme. The long and short of it is that it is nearly impossible for anyone to make a living out of MLM if you're only interested in selling the products and not in recruiting others unless you have hundreds of friends who all love MLM-brand orange juice and supplements.

To illustrate the point, here's a choice quote from a MLM discussion thread from 2011 (needs archives to view the post in context):

ToxicSlurpee posted:

The difference between most companies and MLM, though, is that MLM is a scam. It's dishonest and an outright lie. While no company is truly 100% honest, the big difference is, if I go to a retail store, the prices are there, the products are there, and I can buy or not buy. If I decide that I don't want to buy anything for really any reason, nobody is there calling me a quitter. MLM, if you quit, you're obviously a lazy loser that doesn't want to make a billion dollars an hour.

Aside from that, if I get royally screwed over buying something from a company, there are things I can do to get my money back. If the product turns out to be broken, I can return it. If I bought something based on false promises, that's false advertising, and leads to lawsuits. If I buy a box of cereal I can be pretty goddamned certain I'm getting a box of cereal. If I find out that something I bought was hideously overpriced and I end up unable to take it back, sue, or get paid back in any way, then it's highly unlikely I'll ever buy something from that company again.

Which is another big difference: I am NOT contractually obligated to shop at Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Kwik-E-Mart, Martmart, Shop'n'Save, BiLo, Piggly Wiggly...ANYWHERE. They need to CONVINCE me to shop there rather than REQUIRE it.

Now, let's look at what MLM is selling; they are conning people in with promises of piles of wealth and then contractually obligating them to buy certain amounts of product from them. What they are doing, effectively, is SELLING SELLING. They aren't focused on selling products, they are focused on selling the ability to sell their products to people.

Isn't the failure rate of MLM sellers something higher than 99%? That's a pretty lovely product. If a cereal company sold cereal boxes and people found that less than 1% of them actually had cereal and the rest were filled with sand that would probably end in lawsuits. The cereal company can't just say "Well, it's their own fault for buying in. Aside from that, if they can't eat sand, it's their own fault for being unable to eat sand."

Look at what MLMs tend to say. "Well, if you fail to make money through our programs and products, then it's your own fault." But do remember the 99% failure rate. They don't give a drat if you succeed or fail. Thanks to the contract, they win either way.

Why do people get sucked into these things?
The usual reasons. Optimism, naivety, desperation. If you've been unemployed for 8 months and are desperate for work the odds are you won't ask too many questions when you're invited to a 'job interview' for a company that you've never heard of that are selling things you know nothing about.

A thread on GBS seems to spring up every now and again and is usually filled with completely insane stories about how they or someone they knew went to a job interview and found the fire escapes blocked so you couldn't leave their pitch, or they'd drive you out to the middle of nowhere in a van at 6am, then tell you they wouldn't take you home unless you met either their [usually impossible to achieve] sales target or until 9pm, whichever happened sooner.

Further reading for your enjoyment:
  • Ron Paul & Friends want you to sell vitamins and earn double diamond! - The current GBS 'crazy MLM company' thread. Has links to a few other threads (so you can go down the rabbithole).
  • BFC legend zaurg has a wife that frequently bought fruit juice from an MLM. I believe more than one person pointed out you could get the same product for considerably less at the supermarket.
  • http://www.freshaer.net/ - this website was made by a goon as a parody of multi-level marketing from a previous MLM thread in GBS. I think it aptly demonstrates how these companies try to draw people in.
Archives required for these threads:
  • My girlfriend has joined a money cult - This thread is amazing on many levels, although probably not representative of the average MLM scheme. It starts out with the OP explaining how his girlfriend got this great summer job in the US which descends into her being effectively kidnapped by the company. To give you an idea of how messed up this tale is, they take her laptop and delete emails from the OP whenever the emails aren't "positive" enough about the company. :stare:
  • MLM, brings out the best in people - The original GBS thread that got me interested in the whole concept of MLMs.

And a story to satisfy moana - the only time I've heard of anyone successfully selling anything door to door was a vacuum cleaner salesman that showed up the day my parents were moving into their new house. The vacuum cleaner was actually pretty good and it worked for at least 12 years without an issue. I'm really surprised that the vacuum cleaner was of decent quality since door to door sales seems like the perfect way to shift substandard goods without any messy repercussions.

froglet fucked around with this message at 11:29 on Aug 15, 2013

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

JohnnyRnR posted:

All of your financial problems can be solved by your wife getting a fast food or gas station job.

You'll be just fine.

Convincing someone to do this can be very, very difficult, especially if they have a post-secondary education (as his wife clearly does).

grack fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Aug 15, 2013

reflex
Aug 9, 2009

I'd rather laugh with the mudders than cry with the saints. The mudders are much more fun. Hoorah.

Socialized posted:

My wife doesn't work. She tries to sell stuff through one of those Mary Kay-style companies, but has very few customers and has spent much more on updating her stock and placing orders to keep her account active than she has made in profit. She has earned less than $1000 in the past two years doing this.
Tell your wife to get a job because marriage is a team sport, she's sitting on the bench, and you're both losing because of it.

April
Jul 3, 2006


reflex posted:

Tell your wife to get a job because marriage is a team sport, she's sitting on the bench, and you're both losing because of it.

Somehow, I don't think that will work. Socialized, please start a thread, it sounds like you guys really need some help, and BFC loves a success story. Just be prepared for your wife to be compared to zaurg's.

Content:

One of my husband's friends was at our house recently, complaining about how much his monthly bills are. He is recently divorced, and one of the things he got stuck with was a monthly bill for laptops he & his now-ex-wife bought about 3 years ago. They financed them through Dell and the monthly payment was $45. I guess before she left, she quit paying the bill, and he got hit with various penalties and so on and now his monthly payment is $80. I'm not sure what he still owes, but he said he figured out that he'll be able to get it paid off, at $80/month, in about 2 years. Three years after the original purchase!! I told him to call the finance company, explain the circumstances (namely that his ex created this problem & left him holding the bag), and that they could maybe lower his interest rate or give him a temporary deferral or something. He couldn't be bothered. He also co-signed for his daughter's $70,000 in student loans for culinary school, and was fine with it when she dropped out 3 months before graduation. He's now making the payments for her since she can't find a good job. I asked him why not see if she would qualify for a forbearance or deferral, he didn't seem interested.

I just don't understand this totally passive mindset. I know where he works, and I know how hard he works for what he earns, and the fact that he's totally ok with just paying for everyone else's bad decisions, probably for the rest of his life, is cool with him. Cause phone calls are hard, you know?

Damn Bananas
Jul 1, 2007

You humans bore me
Holy crap, the Mary Kay-offshoot doesn't get to be counted as a "job" if she's made less than $1000 in two years. That's less than $10 a week! Even with the worst hours possible in fast food, retail, etc you'll make a lot more than that. Is she still in school? Did she get the degree?

Bad-with-money-story: I know someone who buys an ungodly amount of things from Ross. She keeps the tags on most of it so that she can return some later, and it's such a revolving door of buy/return that it's impossible to keep track of how much she has actually spent there. They are on the brink of losing their house, but her hobby is shopping and she can't stop. Her husband came to me moaning about their money problems, and I sympathized for a moment, until he mentioned he was going to stop by an electronics store on the way home because they were having a "good sale" on USB drives. He has tons, he doesn't need more. But but but, sale!

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.
Socialized, that's pretty awful. Sounds like you could use your own thread.

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

drat Bananas posted:

Holy crap, the Mary Kay-offshoot doesn't get to be counted as a "job" if she's made less than $1000 in two years. That's less than $10 a week!
Ding ding - That's worse than diddling around with online surveys.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

Accretionist posted:

Ding ding - That's worse than diddling around with online surveys.

In an off week, an online survey is never going to cost money out of your pocket.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
I'm probably one of them, although most of my big expenses recently were ones that I needed to make. For example, since starting a part time (30 hour) job earning £200 per week in June, on week 3 I did spend around £175 on clothes, but most of that was on good running shoes, work shoes and casual trousers because my old ones were falling apart. I pay my parents £40 per week in board, and I spent £175 on train tickets a couple of weeks ago as my brother and I are going on holiday to Whitby for 4 days. I bought the train tickets, he bought the hotel room. After being fired from my previous job a year ago I did spend a large portion of the severance on a new computer, and I spent £25 on a combination Printer/Scanner/Photocopier for my bedroom as I am planning on using my job to finance retaking my GCSEs (Maths and Science) so that I can start on a Sciencey path (as I recently found a renewed interest in the Sciences that I didn't have when I was 16), and I need the printer for printing homework/coursework/Practice Papers etc.

The only time I spend a lot of money it is on something I either really need that can't wait, or when I have enough left over at the end of a week to splurge a bit on something I've wanted for a while.

Most of the reason I'm going back to find a new career path is that I only just got my BSc in Business IT with a Third and Honours, and had no practical experience in the field, and now it's next to impossible for me to find a non-call centre job due to no experience and graduation being 3 years ago, so while I study I'll see what jobs are available in the fields that interest me, and keep an eye on the trends until it's time for me to be applying, and I will work to get some experience in the lab environments for when I complete my studies (eg, after maths, as well as retaking my IT GCSE next year as I had no excuse for failing that, I'll also be taking a practical one).

Am I one of the 'bad with money' people, and if so do you have any advice? :ohdear:

BTW before finding this job I was unemployed for a year and really stressed so my brother offered to share his holiday because of that :P

Higgy
Jul 6, 2005



Grimey Drawer

BioEnchanted posted:

Poor financial decisions

Are you in a lot of debt or do you just need help managing expenses? Might be worth starting your own thread for dedicated advice to keep this one on track.

Back to other people that are bad with money:

I'd like to go broad and nominate most of my metropolitan area for lottery tickets and scratch tickets. I was buying a soda at the convenience store right under where I work and stood behind this woman in line who had a pile of powerballs and spent 10 minutes with the cashier. She was +$300 with her pile and then $-50 when she walked out because she traded all winnings for more scratch tickets that were all loser tickets.

This is something I see daily anywhere that sells lottery tickets, it's like a tax on people dumb with money because "it's my turn to win, I deserve it!"

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
I'm not in much debt, I do have £12000 in student loans, but they are deferred until I make at least 15000 per year, which probably won't happen for a while. Until then I'll try to keep loans to a minimum, and I've made all the big purchases I had planned. Since my clothes that I bought are already lasting longer than the cheap crap I was stuck with I should have very little trouble saving after my holiday in 2 weeks, hopefully. It's more of a case that I've never had money for long so important purchases all got deferred til later (read over the last few months), and now they are all made, if I make it past the 6 month probation I'll be home free. :)

The loans were all for the University Business IT course that I took, for clarification. I've never used credit cards, so those aren't an issue, I only buy something when I have the actual money on hand, plus a reasonable amount extra.

BioEnchanted fucked around with this message at 16:21 on Aug 17, 2013

EvilGenius
May 2, 2006
Death to the Black Eyed Peas
Three years ago my then girlfriend and I decided to get married. Only trouble was, we couldn't afford it, and spent the year of planning kidding ourselves.

Up until around the time I proposed, I was a freelancer making about £25k a year. The work dried up, and all I had other than that was a p/t job at a call centre on a little over minimum wage. We didn't have enough to break even each month, let alone pay for a wedding. So I got a 10k loan of course! Because I was freelance, they only asked for my previous years earnings.

Once the 10k was in my account, a proportion went towards our shortfall in living costs. This didn't catch up with us until it was time to pay our reception venue, among other things, and we found ourselves around 3k short. I borrowed that off mate.

The real trouble started after all the money was gone. The 10k, the 3k, and 3 credit cards we'd maxed out... Suddenly, we were living pay check to pay check again, with a massive loan repayment we couldn't afford. In the year following the wedding I defaulted on 2 credit cards, the loan, a sofa, and got a CCJ on a water bill*

Some positives did come of this though. My wife and I really upped our game work wise. I landed a full time job at the call centre in an IT role, and negotiated two substantial pay rises in that time. My wife switched career entirely and makes more now too. We've only just got ourselves into a position where we can pay all our collectors and all our bills, AND get to work, AND eat. We will have paid everyone off, bar the loan, mid next year. The loan will be paid off in 2016, assuming no change in income (I.e. Worst case).

* this was thanks to our payment plan offer getting lost in the post. For the love of god use registered post, people.

kissekatt
Apr 20, 2005

I have tasted the fruit.

Socialized posted:

I also feel my wife has unrealistic expectations. She's talking about having kids soon and wants to buy a house, going so far as to talk to a realtor and see if we could be approved for a mortgage.
I've missed you, zaurg.

Packstand
Sep 22, 2012

Saeku posted:

I broke up with him the month that he missed rent becuase spent $150 on a World of Warcraft turtle mount. It's just a digital turtle, it doesn't even do anything.

Of all the comments in this thread, this made me want to punch a hole through my monitor.

G-Mach
Feb 6, 2011

kissekatt posted:

I've missed you, zaurg.

That truly was one of the greatest threads to ever grace E/N. I think it was in E/N anyways. It was a disaster that you just couldn't not watch.

Which brings up the point that you need to be on the same page as your partner financially before you increase the seriousness of your relationship whether it is having a child or marriage.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

G-Mach posted:

That truly was one of the greatest threads to ever grace E/N. I think it was in E/N anyways. It was a disaster that you just couldn't not watch.

zaurg was an homegrown BFC treasure. Probably the most visited threads in BFC ever, too. I kind of wonder how things ended up sometimes.

FrozenVent fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Feb 20, 2016

G-Mach
Feb 6, 2011

FrozenVent posted:

zaurg was an homegrown BFC treasure. Probably the most visited threads in BFC ever, too. I kind of wonder how things ended up sometimes.

It probably isn't ending well. I'm going to take a wild hunch on that.

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Oct 19, 2013

Delta-Wye
Sep 29, 2005
Somewhere I picked up the apparently mistaken impression that child support was for supporting, you know, children.

Boola
Dec 7, 2005

Dangerous Mind posted:

I'd say the worst part about it, though, is that compared to other friends who get child support from their fathers, my dad has to pay less than half every month for the both of us compared to my friends who get more just for them, if that makes any sense. So basically he's just being a complete rear end in a top hat.

The most frustrating part about it is that he decided that he still wants to support us so he is giving me $1k this month because I took 2 summer classes at a CC (and that's how much it cost me so he wants to cover the cost for me). If he wouldn't have cut off child support he would have given us that money anyways... It really makes no sense.

Ya, he sounds like a major rear end in a top hat. Not paying child support since you're both adults is bad enough but then he has the nerve to still reimburse you the cost of your tuition.... the gall of this guy.

He probably is bad with money though because I sure wouldn't give money to a son that called me an rear end in a top hat for doing so.

Boola fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Aug 18, 2013

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja

Dangerous Mind posted:

The most frustrating part about it is that he decided that he still wants to support us so he is giving me $1k this month because I took 2 summer classes at a CC (and that's how much it cost me so he wants to cover the cost for me).

You sound like a stereotype of a spoiled upper class kid.

Shnooks
Mar 24, 2007

I'M BEING BORN D:
Yo, send that child support my way. My deadbeat dad never paid.

Giant Goats
Mar 7, 2010

Delta-Wye posted:

Somewhere I picked up the apparently mistaken impression that child support was for supporting, you know, children.

In many jurisdictions, child support is legally mandated to continue through the length of one post-secondary degree (i.e. up to four years after completing high school, provided there isn't a gap in schooling).

If my father hadn't been obliged to continue support payments during my undergrad, I would have been in a tight spot because most student loan and financial need options available to me would have counted his income as part of my household wealth anyhow.

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Oct 19, 2013

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Oct 19, 2013

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos

Dangerous Mind posted:

I'm not sure if this applies here but after my sister started college my dad decided to stop paying child support despite my sister and I going to college full time. He is always saying he will support us both then pulls this crap. This really fucks us over and all he can really think about is saving his rear end. :bang:

I'd say the worst part about it, though, is that compared to other friends who get child support from their fathers, my dad has to pay less than half every month for the both of us compared to my friends who get more just for them, if that makes any sense. So basically he's just being a complete rear end in a top hat.

The most frustrating part about it is that he decided that he still wants to support us so he is giving me $1k this month because I took 2 summer classes at a CC (and that's how much it cost me so he wants to cover the cost for me). If he wouldn't have cut off child support he would have given us that money anyways... It really makes no sense.
You work a part time job while at school, right?

Silly Hippie
Sep 18, 2007
My dad still pays child support (it goes to my mom, not me). I'm 22 :haw:. He backowes so much he's gonna be paying til I'm 30. I could feasibly have kids of my own by the time he's done.

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Oct 19, 2013

HooKars
Feb 22, 2006
Comeon!

Dangerous Mind posted:

Yea. I'm just saying it's frustrating because my mom really needs the money (more than my sister and I do since FAFSA and scholarships cover tuition) for food, utilities, etc.

Are you and your sister living at home? It sounds like he wants to help you guys out someway but not your mom.

Also, you and your friends actualy compare child support?? I never had a clue about that kind of stuff when I was a kid. I still don't. Child support is also usually a court determined amount based on a set equation that depends on a lot of factors so him having to pay less than ur friends probably means he can't afford to pay more based on the courts equation. He's not being a complete rear end in a top hat bc your friends daddies can pay more - it's an infividualized amount based on his situation.

HooKars fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Aug 18, 2013

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Oct 19, 2013

HooKars
Feb 22, 2006
Comeon!

Dangerous Mind posted:

Not actually compare, but more like I heard it from my mom who talked to his mom, etc.

My mom makes ~$800 per month, rent is $500, utilities/phone/internet are easily another $300. We still need to pay for gas and insurance. So that extra $600 that we got from our father every month actually helped a lot (when we had it).

And I know my dad wants to help us and he always said he would but when he pulled this crap and then tells me he's going to Europe for 3 weeks it really ticked me off...

Your mom needs a new job. Desperately. That's where your focus should be if you want to help your own situation.

And again, child support is an equation based on many factors like his income, her income, any new family he may be supporting etc. you can't compare child support amounts. If theres a difference, theres a reason for it. Your phrasing here is poor - it really seems like you care more about your moms support, which would be alimony, than your own financial support, which is child support.

RaspberrySea
Nov 29, 2004
If it's actually in your parents' child support orders that support continues through a post-secondary degree, there's nothing stopping your mom from telling the court that your dad has stopped paying, and nailing him for arrears.

But I don't know if there's any states that state that the first university/college degree definitely gets paid for. Most of them have laws that say high school / age 18 or 19, with provisions that a court may order it for longer. If this is really bothering you, I'd find out from one or both parents what their divorce papers actually say before ruining your relationship with your dad even if he's well within his rights to stop payments.

Dangerous Mind
Apr 20, 2011

math is magical
[Deleted]

Dangerous Mind fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Oct 19, 2013

HooKars
Feb 22, 2006
Comeon!

Dangerous Mind posted:

Honestly, it's more about supporting my mom than my own financial support. I mean, I have my own job and so does my sister so those small things like clothes and fun for ourselves is completely taken care of.

Perhaps that's how "he pulls it off" - some states will also factor in the students own financial income when determining support after high school. This can include financial aid, loans, and jobs. He may not owe your family as much as he used to.

The other way he may legally get out of it is if you or your mom aren't actively providing him proof of enrollment or grades. Make sure you're documenting everything and receiving everything you're owed.

If he's really not paying the amount he's supposed to be paying then your mom needs to take that up with the court. There are ways that his wages can be garnished or something similar to ensure that he pays each month.

Edit: As mentioned below, the money should be filtered through your mom if he's paying child spport, but you said you don't understand his thinking. I'm just saying that it seems like he wants to help you guys out but perhaps he feels like the money isn't being spent on you and is going to your mom and he's trying to avoid that. Well intentioned though the money he's giving you isn't going to count as the child support he owes, if he owes it. In certain states there's actually a difference between child support and college support. In other states, they're all lumped together.

And to add a story about people who are bad with money that makes me sad::

My uncle made a relatively large profit off a company sale early on. He had a wife, who worked as a secretary, and a young daughter at the time and it would have been enough to make a pretty big difference in their life. Rather than save it for an early retirement or something, with the influx of money, he just started making pretty crazy purchases - he started taking flying lessons and bought a small airplane, they bought their daughter a horse (though to be honest, she loved that horse and it just passed away a few years ago but it was a huge point of stress and tension at times since the daughter is all grown up and moved away), he made some poor investments and loans to friends, and the rest was blown on things that almost ruined his marriage - drugs, alcohol, etc. Eventually, he managed to spend all the money and they started going into debt. He eventually turned it around and became really religious and really became devoted to making up for that period in time to his family and daughter. My aunt passed away really unexpectedly last year - the year she was finally going to be able to quit her job and retire (she was 68) and I'm sad that if he'd saved some of that money, they probably could have shared a few years of retirement together. They were able to go on a dream vacation to Egypt that year, but that was soley because my mom gave them all her airline miles to use because her sister hadn't really been anywhere or seen the world at all.

HooKars fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Aug 18, 2013

RaspberrySea
Nov 29, 2004
Child support never goes to the kid though, adult or not. If the court order only says that child support continues until him and his sister finish college, it still doesn't matter what the mom spends it on. As long as she meets the basic standards of not being neglectful, (they have food, a roof, clothing) she's the custodial parent and it's her money.

If the child support order says college is to be paid for though, that's different. My parents had a divorce agreement where support would go until high school graduation, unless the child enrolled in full time post-secondary within one year, in which case child support would continue AND college expenses would be split. So for my family:

1) I did not go to college in that time frame. The child support checks to my mom for my care stopped after I hit my 18th birthday after graduating high school.

2) My sister did go to college in that time frame. The child support checks for her care continued until she graduated at age 21, and both parents wrote checks to the college for tuition. My sister never technically saw a dime of this money, because none of it went to her hands. The child support went to mom, and the college money went to the college.

(On a side note, I do understand how not knowing all the details about child support can gently caress up family relationships. My sister would get angry at my dad for not getting expensive birthday or Christmas presents, because she wasn't aware AT ALL of how much her college cost because she knew she never had to worry about it. My dad would get angry because of my sister not bothering to apply for scholarships or bursaries to pay for some of her expenses. I would get angry at all of them because when I did go to college several years later, neither parent paid for my college, and my sister didn't understand why my money was so much tighter than hers. My sister was blissfully unaware of all this until years later.)

Either way, Dangerous Mind's mom needs to check the divorce papers and to get a second job fast.

RogueLemming
Sep 11, 2006

Spinning or Deformed?

Dangerous Mind posted:

Honestly, it's more about supporting my mom than my own financial support. I mean, I have my own job and so does my sister so those small things like clothes and fun for ourselves is completely taken care of.

Uh, your parents obviously aren't together anymore. His responsibility is making sure you and your sister are taken care of, not filling in your mom's budget because she has a lack of income. Seriously, she makes less than my part time college retail job. She needs to fix that herself, not complain that your dad isn't doing enough. It sounds like if anyone deserves a post in this thread, it's your mom.

INTJ Mastermind
Dec 30, 2004

It's a radial!
Admittedly I have no clue as to your family situation. But if mom is struggling financially, why not go live with dad? Less mouths to feed for her and possibly the ability to move to a smaller place and save rent money.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

INTJ Mastermind posted:

Admittedly I have no clue as to your family situation. But if mom is struggling financially, why not go live with dad? Less mouths to feed for her and possibly the ability to move to a smaller place and save rent money.

If there's child support, there's likely a custody order or agreement in place.

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kazz
Feb 27, 2007

Black Bean has a tendency to stare and likes to hide.
Speaking of child support...

My dad stopped paying for the three of us when we all turned 18 (duh), but my mom and him agreed to split my undergraduate tuition between the two of them. Junior year, my dad decides he'd rather have me take a federal loan out in my name, which he says he will pay back for me. The reason my dad wanted the loan in the first place is because he assumed I'd qualify for a subsidized loan, and then was surprised and confused when I got an unsubsidized one, so it would have been cheaper to just, I dunno... pay my tuition like my mom did. I've have been told multiple times by my mom and dad to NOT touch this loan besides setting stuff up for my dad, that it's not my responsibility, and he will pay it. As I said, though, it's in my name which means it's my credit on the line. The first payment was ten days ago, and of course my dad missed it. I just went ahead and paid the delinquent charge and next month, and we still need to have a chat about that. Even though I thought he was clear on when the payments were due last month.

Besides that, he decided to buy a house in my college town without selling the one in my hometown first. That house is still unsold. Last I checked, the new house is being rented out but I'm not even sure about that anymore. Currently he's living in a DIFFERENT house with his new wife and her two teenage twins. Oh, and she owns ANOTHER house somewhere. Four houses. And this house is after her having moved from another house she was leasing. Why did dad decide to buy a house? Wife's lease on her house was ending and instead of renewing it, she decided they had to a) get married and b) buy a new house. Which they're not living in! It irritates me to no end.

Besides that, there's smaller things like eating out a lot, and usually at places that can be expensive, preferring to shop higher end grocery stores, and when he seemed to be having a midlife crisis a few years ago, he dropped a bunch of money on man cave accessories such as a big flat screen TV, projector, screen, blu-ray player, whatever, all that stuff (which is currently sitting in the basement of his unsold house). He also can't not buy CDs, he loves music and just buys CDs almost impulsively. At least there he's usually buying from a secondhand store... except for the times he buys them off Amazon, receives them, and realizes he already owns that CD. This has happened multiple times.

I just worry about him because he still has my brother and sister's undergrad to pay for, and I don't know what his finances are like. He never seems worried about it, so maybe I'm overreacting? But what does worry me is my brother has inherited his spendthrift ways, and whereas my dad is a lawyer (but doesn't make a whole lot), my brother has never had a paying job and isn't looking for one. Really important distinction there.

kazz fucked around with this message at 19:18 on Aug 18, 2013

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