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Curious - when is self-soothing appropriate? 4 weeks? 8 weeks? 12 weeks? I understand that teeny people have nervous systems and digestive systems and such that are learning how to function and will take awhile to get under some sort of control, but I'm just trying to figure out when is it good for them to learn how to go to sleep on their own? Mine isn't due for 3.5 more months, so I'm just prepping myself for the eventual fun of Jan-March.
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Aug 21, 2013 00:40
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I still put my 8 month old to sleep. We cuddle in the rocking chair and he's out cold in 15 minutes. Since I have to work a regular 9 - 5 sort of job, I don't mind. I see it as bonding time. When he gets old enough it'll transition into reading a book instead. He does self soothe other times on his own. He's good at falling back asleep at night unless if he's hungry.
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Aug 21, 2013 01:16
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My kid is nearly 3. Someone still lays down with him when he goes to bed every night. There's no way I was ever comfortable letting my kid cry himself to sleep, especially as an infant.
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Aug 21, 2013 01:26
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Mine started going to bed alone at night and staying there on February 6, 2013. I will never forget the date. She turned 2 in January.
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Aug 21, 2013 01:47
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My daughter turns 3 on October 13th. 95% of the time one of us lies down with her and cuddles/talks/sings to her till she falls asleep. If she is tired enough or if we are busy, sometimes she will put herself to bed but that is rare though it is becoming more frequent. We have limited how long we stay with her, if it takes longer then 20 minutes we'll get up and leave her room, usually she will continue to play for a while before asking to go to bed again. Neither I nor my SO have it in us to be so cruel as to allow our child cry herself to sleep when it takes so little to make her go to sleep willingly.
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Aug 21, 2013 02:02
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Babies and kids have different needs at different ages and with different personalities. It's not something you can really plan out ahead of time, apart from broad generalities.  In general, you feed often when they're new. You try dimming the lights and keep things subdued to help them distinguish day from night. Swaddle tightly if the baby lets you. Play some white noise or the same lullabies when it's sleepy time so that eventually they're associated with relaxation and rest. Have your child sleep in a safe place. At around 6 months, introduce a safe lovey that smells like you. blah blah blah Our 18-month-old's bedtime routine goes: diaper, nursing, toothbrush, stories, bed. He falls asleep in his crib with his seahorse and sleep sheep playing, hugging his lovey. He's done that since about 6 or 7 months, I believe. Some kids don't do it for YEARS after that and that's normal too. Once you provide them with their needs and a nice routine and a safe, happy environment, I believe the rest is really up to the baby's personality. edit: Yes, I have a smiley problem. Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Aug 21, 2013 |
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Aug 21, 2013 02:03
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My three and a half year old is able to go to sleep by herself now, but that is a reasonably new development, like probably in the last four months or so. My one year old definitely still needs snuggles and milk to go to sleep.
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Aug 21, 2013 02:10
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I read somewhere that after they're three months old they should be put down drowsy but awake. My daughter couldn't do it until she was about 3.5 months but after that she's been a pro, I put her in her crib and walk away and she goes to sleep. She does cry for a minute, but she cries when she gets tired whether I soothe her or not, it's the tiredness and not me walking away that does it. At 7 months now she'll either suck her thumb or play with a toy to get herself to sleep.
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Aug 21, 2013 02:24
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I'm not sure if this should go here, in the getting knocked up thread, or the parenting thread, so I'll go with the middle ground. Are there any statistics about people who didn't want kids, but had them anyway? Specifically how they feel about it afterwards?
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Aug 21, 2013 04:15
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My daughter is 7 months old this Sunday, and in the last week or so I've gone from feeding/rocking her to sleep to just putting her in her bed when she's tired and relaxed. It's not something I've worked for/towards, but it just came about naturally. She doesn't want to nurse much anymore, so nursing her until she falls asleep isn't really an option. Now we cuddle a bit until she's sleepy, I put her in her bed, say goodnight and walk out. If she fusses or cries, I go back in and comfort her, but it only takes about one or two times of checking in before she falls asleep.
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Aug 21, 2013 07:35
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Connor and Ellie have gone to sleep awake since the start. Not through design or anything, I would just put them in their cot after feeding them and they would go to sleep. All babies are different.
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Aug 21, 2013 08:16
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I really think that it completely depends on the kid - my 22 month old will keep himself awake all night if I'm in the room with him, simply because Mama's here! Something fun might happen! When we put him to bed he generally settles himself straight away, but if he cries I've learnt that going in, checking he's ok and he's got his dummy, then leaving again is the best option, otherwise he never gets to sleep.
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Aug 21, 2013 09:28
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hooah posted:I'm not sure if this should go here, in the getting knocked up thread, or the parenting thread, so I'll go with the middle ground. Are there any statistics about people who didn't want kids, but had them anyway? Specifically how they feel about it afterwards? I'd read a study that women who's had unwanted or mistimed pregnancies were more likely to report physical violence against the infant, but physical violence was also tied to socioeconomic factors, age, and education. Probably doesn't help much, sorry.
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Aug 21, 2013 12:11
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hooah posted:I'm not sure if this should go here, in the getting knocked up thread, or the parenting thread, so I'll go with the middle ground. Are there any statistics about people who didn't want kids, but had them anyway? Specifically how they feel about it afterwards?
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Aug 21, 2013 14:42
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Cross-posting this: Some Halo Sleep Sacks sold at Babies R Us are being voluntarily recalled. http://www.cpsc.gov/en/Recalls/2013/HALO-SleepSacks-Wearable-Blankets-Recalled/
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Aug 22, 2013 02:52
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I visited a lactation specialist today and she told me that my 2 1/2 week old is gaining weight too fast (he went from 8 to 9 lbs in just 8 days) and to limit his food intake. I left a message with my pediatrician, but am I wrong in thinking it's crazy to try to limit how much he eats? He's only eating 26-28 ounces a day, so it's not like he's eating some huge amount...
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Aug 22, 2013 05:00
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Chouzan posted:I visited a lactation specialist today and she told me that my 2 1/2 week old is gaining weight too fast (he went from 8 to 9 lbs in just 8 days) and to limit his food intake. I left a message with my pediatrician, but am I wrong in thinking it's crazy to try to limit how much he eats? He's only eating 26-28 ounces a day, so it's not like he's eating some huge amount... That's absolutely ridiculous. His weight gain will slow down as he starts moving about. A lot of breastfed babies are chunky early on; you can check the WHO growth charts (versus the CDC ones) if you're curious what a typical breastfed baby's growth pattern will look like.
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Aug 22, 2013 05:02
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It is impossible for a breastfed baby to overeat, never go to that lactation specialist again.
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Aug 22, 2013 05:14
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skeetied posted:That's absolutely ridiculous. His weight gain will slow down as he starts moving about. A lot of breastfed babies are chunky early on; you can check the WHO growth charts (versus the CDC ones) if you're curious what a typical breastfed baby's growth pattern will look like. Well, according to WHO he's at the 50th percentile by weight/age, and around the 25th for weight/length so screw that crazy woman for making me worry. Papercut posted:It is impossible for a breastfed baby to overeat, never go to that lactation specialist again. He gets bottles of breast milk while we work on his latching, but I do wonder now how she'd expect me to limit his intake once he does get on the breast exclusively... Either way, next time I go in, I'll make sure to avoid her.
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Aug 22, 2013 05:25
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Hannah gained 12 oz in 5 days between 1 and 2 weeks old. Her pediatrician was thrilled with that and it actually just kept her hugging the 50th percentile line, so I don't think really rapid growth at that age is at all unusual. She was also eating only from my breasts at that point, with the exception of 1 2oz bottle she got so I could go see a friend give a presentation. So it's not like I was in a position to be overfeeding her.
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Aug 22, 2013 09:24
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Chouzan posted:I visited a lactation specialist today and she told me that my 2 1/2 week old is gaining weight too fast (he went from 8 to 9 lbs in just 8 days) and to limit his food intake. I left a message with my pediatrician, but am I wrong in thinking it's crazy to try to limit how much he eats? He's only eating 26-28 ounces a day, so it's not like he's eating some huge amount... My 2nd boy was 8lbs at birth. In 7 weeks he put on 6 lbs. That is 1.7 ounces a day on average. It is crazy to limit them. They grow super fast at first.
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Aug 22, 2013 14:00
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Anya posted:Curious - when is self-soothing appropriate? 4 weeks? 8 weeks? 12 weeks? I understand that teeny people have nervous systems and digestive systems and such that are learning how to function and will take awhile to get under some sort of control, but I'm just trying to figure out when is it good for them to learn how to go to sleep on their own? Mine isn't due for 3.5 more months, so I'm just prepping myself for the eventual fun of Jan-March. My older boy started at 4 months. He just slept through the night. He's been the easiest kid for bed time you can possibly imagine. My youngest is 8 weeks and we're up 2 or 3 times a night still and it is so exhausting. Just slog through life like a zombie and it will eventually get better.
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Aug 22, 2013 14:03
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My boy was putting on 10-12 oz a week for the first 7-8 weeks. I asked my LC "holy crap isn't that too much?" And she said, nope, feed your baby when he's hungry and he will eat what he needs. He's slowed down to about 5 oz a week the past couple. It will even itself out.. Some weeks he will probably gain a ton and other weeks less. Never go to that LC again! Holy crap!
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Aug 22, 2013 15:08
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Man, your babies grow so fast! My little nugget is super slow. It's related in part to spit up and supply but it's also just her genes...just wanted to put that out there in case any lurkers with slow-growing babes were feeling sad.
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Aug 22, 2013 23:19
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Took a breastfeeding class last night and now I feel a lot more confident and prepared. One thing the LC said was that those with smaller boobs may nurse more often just because they might not hold as much milk. Has anyone found this to be true? I was a 34A before I got pregnant and now I'm barely into a B cup. I'm sure I'll get a tad bigger in the next 7 weeks, but I'm hoping you all could make me feel a bit better.
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Aug 23, 2013 01:37
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Chicken Biscuits posted:Took a breastfeeding class last night and now I feel a lot more confident and prepared. While it is a myth that women with small breasts will not have a good enough milk supply for their baby, it is true that the storage capacity may be lower in a small breasted woman, leading to a need to nurse more frequently, but this isn't a guarantee at all. That said, your breast size may increase dramatically once the volume of your milk increases around three days postpartum, so I wouldn't worry too much.
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Aug 23, 2013 02:02
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Anecdote not data, I know, but I was definitely small breasted (I'd never once in my life had cleavage till I was about 5 months pregnant) and I have had no problem with supply nor have I felt like my son nurses more often than "normal", for what it's worth. It's so bizarre that my whole life now revolves around my boobs. Most of my tshirts and tank tops are scoop neck because I never had to worry about cleavage, now it's like HELLO LET ME SHOW YOU MY GOODS.
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Aug 23, 2013 02:37
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I was a 32c - but a small c, before falling pregnant. Now I'm 27 weeks along, and I'm up to an e cup and they don't seem to be showing any signs of slowing down. I am tired of having to buy new bras and a lot of the cotton dresses I was wearing because they fit over my bump now won't actually fit around my chest.  Chicken Biscuits, I kinda wish I had your worries at the moment
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Aug 23, 2013 04:29
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Midnight Science posted:Man, your babies grow so fast! My little nugget is super slow. It's related in part to spit up and supply but it's also just her genes...just wanted to put that out there in case any lurkers with slow-growing babes were feeling sad. My baby also spits up a lot and grows slowly  But me and her dad are not very tall so I guess she'll be small. It is a shame as she was very long when born and we thought we might have a tall girl!
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Aug 23, 2013 10:41
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It's progression along the centile charts that is the important thing. At two and a half Connor weighs less than a lot of the one year olds that people have mentioned their weight in the parenting thread because he's spent his whole life bumping about between the 2nd and 9th percentiles. But he's bright, healthy and developmentally he's always been on target.
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Aug 23, 2013 11:28
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bee posted:I was a 32c - but a small c, before falling pregnant. Now I'm 27 weeks along, and I'm up to an e cup and they don't seem to be showing any signs of slowing down. I am tired of having to buy new bras and a lot of the cotton dresses I was wearing because they fit over my bump now won't actually fit around my chest. I was a DD, and now I'm just a REALLY full DD. That's what I keep telling myself. Realistically probably an F or G (US sizes, not UK thank god), but for as long as I can cram into my DD bras, I'm calling myself a DD. I think smaller women tend to gain more tissue during pregnancy - or maybe it just shows more. Who knows! I can still cram into some of my pre-pregnancy dresses, one of the benefits of being fat to begin with!
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Aug 23, 2013 12:37
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Chicken Biscuits posted:Took a breastfeeding class last night and now I feel a lot more confident and prepared. I've always had small boobs, and rarely wore a bra until I got pregnant. Then they grew a bit. Then I had my baby, and when the milk came in they blew up like Playboy-balloons. So I'd hold off on the worrying until you see what you'll be working with 
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Aug 23, 2013 12:58
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Chicken Biscuits posted:Took a breastfeeding class last night and now I feel a lot more confident and prepared. I feel your pain, I too was barely an A cup before I had a baby and now I'm only a B cup. But I kept my first son up in the 90th percentile growth wise and my supply is even better with my daughter, so they're good enough. We'll just never be one of those people who can nurse full time and still pump a ton of milk (and I went back to an A cup when I weaned the first time... bummer).
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Aug 23, 2013 13:27
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OH OH OH, since we're talking breastfeeding... I don't think I posted about it here, but this little thing changed my life, for serious: Milkies Milk Saver I am not even kidding. Over the course of the day I'm able to collect enough milk for an entire feeding, with no effort whatsoever. Pumping never works for me really, especially with feeding on demand, which works out to at least every 2 hours when C is awake, and I really, really stress about breastfeeding in public. I 100% am comfortable with the idea of it, and will do it readily if I'm not alone, but if I'm alone I feel too vulnerable, if that makes sense. It sounds ridiculous but this little thing has made me feel so much more confident and less anxious. I don't feel guilty about giving him formula (not that anyone should ever feel guilty about giving formula, but I know we do sometimes) just because I'm not brave enough, and it's seriously 100% effort free. It is SO not discreet like the website says, it's pretty huge. My sister in law's sister who is kind of a breastfeeding nazi and is terrifying my 7 month pregnant after IVF sister in law about breastfeeding is the one who suggested it to me and I want to kiss her on the mouth and have her babies for introducing it to me. I post about it everywhere I can, told my pediatrician, my midwife, and so on. It's such a simple little thing that I never thought about and makes my life so much easier! Also, if you live in a multi-story house, a small dorm fridge is an awesome luxury. I don't have one, but I'm saving up for one so that when I do late night/early morning feedings I don't have to wake enough to walk downstairs to put the collected milk in the fridge!
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Aug 23, 2013 15:59
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You ladies have made me feel a lot better. =) I'm sure my boobs will do fine! Hard to believe that in 7 weeks or less I'll have a baby.
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Aug 23, 2013 20:22
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sudont posted:OH OH OH, since we're talking breastfeeding... I don't think I posted about it here, but this little thing changed my life, for serious: Milkies Milk Saver That thing looks amazing. And I totally didn't think about the fact that when you nurse, the other boob is probably going to leak. Mind blown.
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Aug 24, 2013 00:55
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Anya posted:That thing looks amazing. And I totally didn't think about the fact that when you nurse, the other boob is probably going to leak. Mind blown. I KNOW! Seriously, I want to cry when I think of how long I was breastfeeding without this. I used to think, "I wish I could hold a bottle under one boob while I'm feeding him on the other" and didn't even think to look for such an invention. It changed how I feel about breastfeeding, it's so crazy. Now it's not just feeding my son, it's making it so much less stressful to go out. I feel like a shill, but I'm sure some of you can empathize. I have some trauma issues that make breastfeeding in public while alone very intimidating and with this I pretty much don't have even think of it. I only leak when nursing, but still, this totally eliminates the gross wet nursing pads for me, I don't really even wear them except for overnight. It is NOT discreet, that makes me LOL so hard reading the ad copy on the website, it's the size of a salad plate. You will forget it's there and put the baby down, at least once, and douse him in breastmilk, or fall asleep with it in your bra and spill it, but it makes it so easy to collect it that you won't cry. Edit: Supposedly, as your supply regulates, you leak less when you nurse? I haven't noticed any change really, but I'm only about 10 weeks post partum. I kind of don't want it to stop because I'm able to get at least one feeding a day out of what I collect.
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Aug 24, 2013 03:09
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Do you feel that the day your child was born was the best day of your life? It's been almost three weeks and I'm not feeling that way. I mean it was certainly an amazing and intense day, but it was spent entirely in a hospital and involved no sleep and a ton of pain and injury that I'm still recovering from. I guess meeting my daughter is supposed to make all of that insignificant but I'm not sure it does. Maybe it's still too recent and when I look back on it from later on I'll just remember seeing her for the first time and not the rest of it?
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Aug 24, 2013 04:07
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sudont posted:Edit: Supposedly, as your supply regulates, you leak less when you nurse? I haven't noticed any change really, but I'm only about 10 weeks post partum. I kind of don't want it to stop because I'm able to get at least one feeding a day out of what I collect. Your supply regulates around 12 weeks postpartum, so you may see a decrease in leaking then. Some women are just leakers.
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Aug 24, 2013 04:29
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Honestly? For me it's been 11 months and I still don't think I feel like that. Don't get me wrong, I love my little sprog to bits, but there was no real lightbulb, lightening flash, hallmark-style love moment at that first meeting. I didn't know what to expect and those first few weeks were overwhelming at times but I did develop that love for the little man, it just took a while to switch on I guess.. more of a gradual thing. But still, I wouldn't say it was the best day ever. It's up there with those other sort of momentous moments, but not the one by which all others are compared to.
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Aug 24, 2013 04:30
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