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sudont posted:Edit: Supposedly, as your supply regulates, you leak less when you nurse? I haven't noticed any change really, but I'm only about 10 weeks post partum. I kind of don't want it to stop because I'm able to get at least one feeding a day out of what I collect. I started leaking less about six months postpartum (which was also when my period returned, despite exclusively breastfeeding). I leak even less now, nearly nineteen months postpartum, but I still do leak. I don't know whether it's relevant that I only nurse on one side per feeding - I started doing that around four months because I had ridiculous oversupply issues, and then when the firehose effect stopped at around nine months I didn't go back to nursing on both sides because my son was doing fine.
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Aug 24, 2013 04:34
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Seven for a Secret posted:Do you feel that the day your child was born was the best day of your life? It's been almost three weeks and I'm not feeling that way. I mean it was certainly an amazing and intense day, but it was spent entirely in a hospital and involved no sleep and a ton of pain and injury that I'm still recovering from. I guess meeting my daughter is supposed to make all of that insignificant but I'm not sure it does. Oh wow - if I could choose a best day it definitely wouldn't involve 30 hours of labour, forceps, and a 3rd degree tear! It was an intense and emotional day, and meeting my son was great, but I was so shattered by the time he came out that my thought process was "A boy? Awesome. He's healthy? Fantastic. So I can have a little rest now, right?" I know some people get that rush of love and emotion right from the start, but it doesn't happen that way with everyone, and that's ok. You have so many more days together with your daughter, there will be hundreds of best days 
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Aug 24, 2013 04:36
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Maybe it's still too recent and when I look back on it from later on I'll just remember seeing her for the first time and not the rest of it?
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Seven for a Secret posted:Do you feel that the day your child was born was the best day of your life? It's been almost three weeks and I'm not feeling that way. I mean it was certainly an amazing and intense day, but it was spent entirely in a hospital and involved no sleep and a ton of pain and injury that I'm still recovering from. I guess meeting my daughter is supposed to make all of that insignificant but I'm not sure it does. God no. Just for the last two kids; The day I had Connor the most enduring memory I have of it is lying curled up in a ball on the hospital bed with my husband obviously thinking I was just being a whiny baby and wanting to go home and the midwives not believing I was in labour and telling me I could get 2 paracetamol (tylenol) if I was in pain but not bothering to actually bring it round. I have never felt so scared and alone and it changed how I felt about my husband for quite a while after. The day I had Ellie I had been in labour since 11pm the night before so I was tired and sore and I knew that they were going to whisk her away as soon as she came out to make sure she wasn't too hosed up from coming 6 weeks early. I just took as many drugs as I could and when they told me to start pushing I started sobbing uncontrollably because I couldn't get the image of her coming out dead out of my brain. They did take her away and kept her in a box for a week after - the day I got to bring her home felt much more like a celebration. People feel differently about the whole birth experience and I would never tell someone who did feel like it was the best day of their life that it was a stupid way to feel, equally I would hope that people wouldn't tell others that they are an uncaring monster for not feeling the same way as they do. Edit: my husband isn't actually a dick which I know that probably made him sound. I am a big whiny baby a lot of the time and when the midwives said I wasn't in labour he believed them automatically because they are the professionals. hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 08:13 on Aug 24, 2013 |
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Aug 24, 2013 08:10
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The main things I remember from when they were panic and trauma from learning I was having an emergency section. Then after they were out kind of wondering why no one was crying. Then an overwhelming urge to sleep as soon as I saw the babies and they took them away. I had guilt about being so tired and I asked Michael for premission to shut my eyes while they sewed me up. I had visions about the emotional experience of meeting them and being all HOW WONDERFUL MY BABIES and being all warm and fuzzy but that part never really happened. But it was definitely the most intense experience I ever had.
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Aug 24, 2013 08:43
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I leaked a ton in the beginning from the other boob when feeding and now almost 5 months later don't leak at all. When I had my son it was definitely not the best day of my life. I had an emergency c section and was scared and tired and when I first saw him across the room all I could think was my cat was cuter than him. Like at that moment I had more love for my cat than my baby. Of course now I love him to bits and think he's the most adorable thing in the world but it was not instant.
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Aug 24, 2013 12:26
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Anya posted:That thing looks amazing. And I totally didn't think about the fact that when you nurse, the other boob is probably going to leak. Mind blown. Mine only did for a few weeks, but it leaked like crazy for those first few weeks. As for the day my baby was born, I can agree it was the most intense experience I ever had but not the best day. The pain was overwhelming, I tore and I could feel every single stitch when they sewed me back up. After I nursed Adeline, which hurt a lot more than I expected, they whisked her off to the nursery for a few hours and I didn't object. I was shaking and cold and felt more tired than I ever had in my life. And my daughter was a stranger to me, I didn't feel bonded to her. I was honestly a little scared of her and all the responsibility she entailed. It took probably a week or two, but now I love her more than I ever could have imagined loving anything.
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Aug 24, 2013 13:12
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I had some random patient at work lay into me about how I didn't seem excited enough about having a kid and that my mind would just switch over and I would be over the moon. Apparently I was not gaga enough over the joys of pregnancy and childbirth. Bitch, I have never been that excited about anything and I was a wreck after I found out because it was totally unexpected and I had a poo poo ton of stuff planned for this year that did not come to fruition because I'm pregnant. Plus tailgating season is about to start and me being surrounded by lots of alcohol just makes me sad because tailgating is my fav part of football season. I guess I just want to punch old ladies who presume to tell me how I should feel about being pregnant and/or giving birth /endangryrant /surprisedthatcameoutsoviciously
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Aug 24, 2013 13:32
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Because pregnancy is something a lot of people go through, they see it as a shared experience. This is why Aunt Norma will tell you about all the nice poo poo that happened to her while she was pregnant. However, each person (and each pregnancy) is so different that the only thing you might have in common is that a human came out of your body in some way. I know my mom had the easiest pregnancies wrt both labor and breastfeeding and I spent my whole pregnancy thinking it would be like that but I ended up with morning sickness and awful heartburn and a transverse baby who was an emergency C-section and a swollen leg that put me back in the hospital and ocular migraines and she was jaundiced and I couldn't even breastfeed. I felt like such a failure for that first six months and it was hard to get attached to her. Now she's 18 months old, my body is completely healed and I'm back to (almost less than!) my prepregnancy weight and she laughs and plays and eats normal food and is starting to talk and we can take her places and do things. So what I'm trying to say is that any birth/baby experience is pretty normal, from the obsessive crunchy mom to the one who thinks breastfeeding is gross. The only time you should worry about it not being normal is if you personally are worried, not if someone else is.
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Aug 24, 2013 13:50
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I wish babies would magically appear outside of you at 6 months old. That would be perfect.
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Aug 24, 2013 14:29
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I actually cried with joy when my son was born. It was surreal, mostly because I expected to feel very little. I hadn't been terribly excited about being pregnant and kids kinda scared me, but I also knew if we wanted them, we had to start having them. I think it probably was one if the best days, but then it was overshadowed by all his feeding difficulties. It may have been a better day when we got rid of the nursing paraphernalia and he could just breastfeed. And I adore the crap out of him, but this part is really hard and has pretty consistently been hard, even though he eats great and apparently sleeps better than most 7 week olds. I think the strangest thing when he was born was that we were allowed to kiss him. Seriously! This random baby I happened to pop out - we could kiss him! I guess I was waiting for permission. I thought it was super odd when my family showed up and started kissing him. It took a little bit to realize I really was allowed to. Also, I leaked like for a week after he was born, and nothing since unless he is sleeping on me. Then, for some magical reason, I drip like a faucet. Thank goodness the stuff is manufactured on demand. (I had a super easy labor and delivery though, so my feelings may be skewed from that. I went from water breaking -> baby in less than three hours. I thought I had been having Braxton-Hicks all day. Nope.)
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Aug 24, 2013 14:45
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I know it's totally normal but it's always so reassuring to know that not having that overwhelming rush of feeling of love is okay. I never got that, and I'm not surprised, because I'm just... not like that, but I'm hoping it'll develop with time. I love my son, and would kill or die for him, but he's a stranger to me and I'm still sort of in shock that he's mine for the rest of my life. I worry sometime because I feel like I care for him dutifully rather than because I'm bonded with him, if that makes sense? I also feel like I lack the mothering instinct, or whatever it is that makes moms worry like crazy--I feel guilty because everyone tells me what a laid back new mom I am, like I'm too lackadasical with him and that means something is "wrong" with me. I'm not callous about his care or safety, but I don't insist anyone touching him wash their hands, at family/friend gatherings I don't mind that everyone else holds him the whole time, things like that. I think because his father is totally involved I feel relief when I get a little break with trusted friends/family, but there's always that "I should be freaking out because my friend's 10 year old is holding him and what if he doesn't support his head right and and and..." but I'm really like, "Aww, that's cute." Motherhood: Making you feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough! Edit: I want to add that while I care for him dutifully I am very loving toward him, it's not like I treat him or see him like a job. I try to follow the ideas of attachment parenting because they make sense to me and are the kind of mom I want to be, it's just completely alien to how I was raised, in a good way.
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Aug 24, 2013 15:03
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I'm pretty sure the only emotion I had at both Chris and Emily's births was "thank loving God that's over with.". The real joy happens once you've gotten over the pain of birth and sleep deprivation and they start developing personalities. Making my kids smile is the best feeling.  I made a lot of people exasperated (and amused) with me because I treated pregnancy like the big pain in the rear end it was, not some mushy gushy miracle time.
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Aug 24, 2013 15:16
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Birth was an intense experience, but definitely not the best day of my life, and there was no instantaneous burst of motherly love - more a flabbergasted feeling of "holy crap, where did that baby come from, and what do I do with it now, please don't die in your sleep  "And the first couple of weeks were incredibly hard, and I honestly regretted the whole baby-thing. I had the baby blues something wicked. The feelings of love and amazement has come gradually, as she's grown from just a tiny squalling poop-machine to a tiny person who grins like a lunatic when I pick her up in the morning, and squeals with delight because she can make loud squealing noises Still a poop-machine, though. 
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Aug 24, 2013 19:18
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Seven for a Secret posted:Do you feel that the day your child was born was the best day of your life? It's been almost three weeks and I'm not feeling that way. I mean it was certainly an amazing and intense day, but it was spent entirely in a hospital and involved no sleep and a ton of pain and injury that I'm still recovering from. I guess meeting my daughter is supposed to make all of that insignificant but I'm not sure it does. I had a good birth experience with pretty much zero pain (but subsequent hospital stay was total poo poo), but I don't know if it was the best day of my life. I think the first time I felt definite movement was higher up, actually. Also my kid asking for kisses is better. I think for some people it is, but everyone is different. My favourite days are probably when my kid is a little sick, not on death's door or anything, but when I spend the day at home and all he wants to do is snuggle and nap together with the cats. Of course, then that's followed three days later by myself and the nanny catching whatever he had while he's raring to go and destroying the house. Sockmuppet posted:Birth was an intense experience, but definitely not the best day of my life, and there was no instantaneous burst of motherly love - more a flabbergasted feeling of "holy crap, where did that baby come from, and what do I do with it now, please don't die in your sleep Baby naming question: How many of you had a name picked out before baby was born, and how many of you didn't? I have a tonne right now that I'm deciding between. I do have 30 days to pick a name after he's born, before the province... well, does something. No one is clear on what happens, but you have 30 days or they name it for you, or you get a fine, or something. I'm thinking of writing down names on pieces of paper and getting my son to pick one out of a hat or something. Did anyone take a few days or weeks? Unfortunately, I have to go down to the States when he's about 3 weeks old for work, so I need his birth certificate ready. I don't think I can do that without a name picked out.
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Aug 24, 2013 22:40
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We had names picked out for both kids before they were born. We definitely spent many weeks considering different names. I think around week 30-something we were decided. With our son, we thought of the name because we know someone with the same name and for some reason we were talking about him and one of us went wait a minute! How about that name? And it didn't click immediately, but it grew on us a lot. Now I couldn't be happier with it, I love his name and it suits him With our daughter, we had trouble finding a name, so my husband decided to go through the alphabet and try to think of at least one name we liked for every letter. When we reached F, he suddenly said OMG how did we never think of Frøydis?? He was decided then and there, I took a while longer, but she ended up a Frøydis and I think it suits her. Of course, it's an old lady name but I like that.
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Aug 25, 2013 07:56
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W had a short list if three names that we couldn't pick between so we waited until he was born. Then while the little man was being cleaned up (and I was being sewed up) my husband started reciting the names out loud and when he got to Booker, the little monster cooed, so my husband took that as a sign and decided Booker it was. I'm really happy with the choice, Booker was my favorite for awhile. My mom didn't like it at first because she thinks his nickname is going to end up Booger, and it probably will since I already call him that sometimes, but she has come around. So I was at a work happy hour party showing Boo off to my collegues and was mentioning that the last couple nights had been hard for sleeping since Boo decided he would only sleep if held. So my husband and I were taking turns holding him. And one of the women in my department (on the older side, she already had teenage grandchildren) told me I need to let him cry. I said I wasn't too worried since he's only a month old, but she insisted that I had to start letting him cry it out now. I didn't think CIO proponents started that early. I'm not going to let my boy scream himself to sleep, and especially not when he's so little. When pele give me advice I just nod and smile. (Oh and it turns out we weren't swaddling him right so he would wiggle his arms out and wake himself up. Last night was much improved, he slept in the bassinet for 2-3 hours at a stretch.)
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Aug 25, 2013 15:44
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travelsized posted:When people give me advice I just nod and smile. An important skill to learn. I had people swearing my life would be so much easier if I gave my 3 week old a bottle of custard to make him sleep. There's no point arguing, if something sounds completely insane just smile and nod. With names we had names chosen already, once we found out the sex we made a list and chose a name we both liked.
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Aug 25, 2013 16:03
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The smile and nod is very helpful, yes. Just don't let them see you grit your teeth.  I had a short list of names, but hadn't settled on one either, I wanted to see my son first. I was so out of it from the high fever after delivering him that I chose the traditional spelling for his Irish name rather than the Americanized. I have a little regret, because while everyone tells me how beautiful his name is, no one has ever pronounced it remotely right the first try. 100% my fault and I totally understand and don't get upset, but even after I tell them the very simple pronounciation, they still say "Karen". Ah well. I felt like I had to name him quick before my mom came in, because she thought Jamieson Daniel was a great name. And it is, if you want everyone to know my favorite whiskey...
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Aug 25, 2013 16:13
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My husband's colleague told him that the reason his sons are so tall is because he put protein powder in their formula when they were babies and if we want our son to be tall we need to start doing that too.  I think my husband being 6'5" gives our son a better chance of being tall rather than shoving a bunch of lovely whey protein through his little kidneys.
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Aug 25, 2013 16:53
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travelsized posted:And one of the women in my department (on the older side, she already had teenage grandchildren) told me I need to let him cry. I said I wasn't too worried since he's only a month old, but she insisted that I had to start letting him cry it out now. My mother-in-law and her mother are wonderful, lovely people, but they both told us repeatedly that we were spoiling our little girl because we tried soothing her, and if that failed, picked her up, whenever she cried (as in properly cried, not just a couple of wahs). We just smiled and said that we don't think you can spoil a 3 week old baby, and that we'll let her cry a bit more when she's older. Now we've got a happy easy-going two month old who only cries properly when something actually bothers her, because she knows we'll come at once when she does cry. We'll, that's what we like to think, anyway, who knows if that's how it works - I wouldn't've let her cry anyway.
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Aug 25, 2013 22:18
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Sockmuppet posted:Now we've got a happy easy-going two month old who only cries properly when something actually bothers her, because she knows we'll come at once when she does cry. YUP. I 100% believe this is why my son, who is around the same age, is the same way. We live with my parents, and I have to say, they are pretty good about not gainsaying what I choose to do, but they definitely think I'm spoiling him and say so sometimes. After reading the research on cry it out and what it does to an infant and how it can impact them, gently caress that, and it explains a lot of why I'm the way I am. I don't blame them, or how I was raised, it was what they thought best, but I don't want my son to grow up distant and emotionally unavailable like I have!
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Aug 25, 2013 22:36
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What is the current research saying about cry it out and its impact in infant and toddlers?
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Aug 26, 2013 03:46
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http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out I just googled "crying it out" and this was the second result. https://www.google.com/search?q=crying+it+out&aq=f&oq=crying+it+out&aqs=chrome.0.57j5j0l2j62l2.1762j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 there's also research out there saying that "crying it out" is "what's best for parents".
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Aug 26, 2013 13:16
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It's also important to note that CIO isn't the same as the baby occasionally crying, Anya. My little guy would cry for a few minutes after we left the room, but if we went back in (or stayed in to start) he'd WAIL and totally lose it, and never stop. He apparently just wanted to grump about bedtime. That wasn't CIO
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Aug 26, 2013 13:45
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Sorry, I shouldn't really have said "research", as I didn't like, consult scholarly articles really, I mostly just read about how the conventional wisdom has changed, and scientists now believe that letting babies cry without comforting causes them stress, and they stop crying because they give up/learn that no one is coming to help them. And Ben Davis has it--letting your baby cry for a few minutes isn't the same as cry it out/Ferber method. I did read about a study that talked about how all the cry it out/"don't spoil" methods started when we began living in nuclear rather than extended families, so the mother didn't have a village to help her raise the child, and the advice changed to fit the situation. Babies didn't change, our view of them did. I, personally, am always suspect of any baby advice that puts the parent's comfort and desires first because they usually seem aimed at making us feel less guilty for that.
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Aug 26, 2013 14:20
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Bubble Babble posted:(I had a super easy labor and delivery though, so my feelings may be skewed from that. I went from water breaking -> baby in less than three hours. I thought I had been having Braxton-Hicks all day. Nope.) This is like my nightmare. Not having a quick and easy labor - that sounds awesome - but just not realizing I'm in labor. Good thing we live so close to the hospital!
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Aug 26, 2013 14:27
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Hah, the hat my little guy came home in finally fits, sort of! Just in time for the end of summer. Today at 10 weeks before we went for a walk, and the day he came home from the hospital the day after he was born: Oh man I can't get over how little he was. 19.5 inches, 7lbs 8oz at birth, so not that little, but it's like I have labor induced amnesia about how small he was. The SOCKS! He's still long and skinny, 10 lbs 14 oz and 23 inches.
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Aug 26, 2013 18:55
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Tourette Meltdown posted:This is like my nightmare. Not having a quick and easy labor - that sounds awesome - but just not realizing I'm in labor. Good thing we live so close to the hospital! Yeah, we are lucky we live 8 minutes from the hospital. I want to do a birth center for the next kid, but my husband is worried he'll have to deliver it on the side of the road, because our two choices are an hour away. On the other hand, at least I had no time to really stress about things!
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Aug 26, 2013 23:13
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Our 2 month old prefers her evening meal(s) spaced out over several hours, in small doses. For now that's fine with me, since she builds up a big reserve and will then sleep for 5-6 hours before she wakes up for more food. But that makes me leaving the house/her side after around 19 in the evening almost impossible. For now that's fine too, she's still little, but me and my husband are looking forward to leaving the house together sans baby for a few hours in the evening, just for dinner or to see a movie. We've got a host of wonderful babysitters in our family eager to step in, but it's not feasible untill she starts eating fewer and bigger meals in the evening - I'm not going to line up 10 bottles with a couple of sips in each. Is this a transition that happens naturally as her stomach grows, or am I stuck with my evening nibbler untill she starts eating solids? We bought tickets for a stand up-show in late October in a fit of optimism, at which point she'll be a week shy of four months old - is that wildly unrealistic or can I start looking forward to a spitup-free grownup-night?
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Aug 27, 2013 10:20
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Sockmuppet posted:Our 2 month old prefers her evening meal(s) spaced out over several hours, in small doses. Hannah did this at that age as well. By 3 months she'd tamed it down to just 2 feeds at bedtime. Sometimes I almost miss it though because she's also stopped sleeping for that nice long first stretch and now is up 1-2 extra times a night. It's pretty normal for evening cluster feeding to have calmed down by 3-4 months. Our big issue now (at nearly 4 months) is that she expects the boob at bedtime. So even though she takes a bottle well in general, she doesn't calm down and go to sleep in the evening with just the bottle. We haven't really pushed it though. It's entirely possible a babysitter would be able to get her to sleep fine and she's just holding out for the boob because she knows I'm there.
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Aug 27, 2013 11:30
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Sockmuppet posted:- I'm not going to line up 10 bottles with a couple of sips in each. Why not one bottle full of milk that the sitter gives as needed? I don't see the problem here.
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Aug 27, 2013 11:43
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DwemerCog posted:Why not one bottle full of milk that the sitter gives as needed? I don't see the problem here. Once the bottle has been drank from you're supposed to discard what's left in it if it's not consumed within an hour. Feeding from it introduces bacteria from the mouth.
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Aug 27, 2013 12:00
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Provide the sitter with a rocking chair and a couple bottles and the baby will fall asleep eventually. That's how my husband and I got our first date night when Chris was two and a half months old.
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Aug 27, 2013 12:05
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Our daughter Jessica is just coming up to 5 months old, and we've started having some issues with nap/bedtime. She's tired but as soon as we lay her down in her moses basket she just starts crying and complaining. If we pick her up she'll settle down but as soon as we put her down it starts up again (often before she's even reached the mattress). What we usually end up doing is sitting with her patting her or rocking her with some white noise on and she gets off to sleep probably in 5-10 minutes but it still feels mean to let her cry like that even with us there with her. Is there anything else we can try for this?
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Aug 27, 2013 14:04
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sudont posted:Once the bottle has been drank from you're supposed to discard what's left in it if it's not consumed within an hour. Feeding from it introduces bacteria from the mouth. Oh are you? My husband does this all the time with our baby (please don't tell me I am a monster, I will tell him not to from now on.) I really don't know where you are supposed to find all this stuff out from, I read all the books on babies and all the forums and went to parenting classes, and still there are so many Thou Must Nots that I have never heard of. How about two bottles, one to hold the milk (and keep in the fridge) and one to feed from? I guess the sitter would need to rinse the feeding bottle after every feed if bacteria are a big worry.
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Aug 27, 2013 14:23
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poshphil posted:Our daughter Jessica is just coming up to 5 months old, and we've started having some issues with nap/bedtime. She's tired but as soon as we lay her down in her moses basket she just starts crying and complaining. If we pick her up she'll settle down but as soon as we put her down it starts up again (often before she's even reached the mattress). What we usually end up doing is sitting with her patting her or rocking her with some white noise on and she gets off to sleep probably in 5-10 minutes but it still feels mean to let her cry like that even with us there with her. Is there anything else we can try for this? My son grew out of this at around 7 months. What helped was reading books for a long time before attempting to put him in his crib. At bedtime I would read him books for 30-40 minutes until he was just worn out.
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Aug 27, 2013 15:30
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DwemerCog posted:Oh are you? My husband does this all the time with our baby (please don't tell me I am a monster, I will tell him not to from now on.) Depends on if it's formula or breast milk. Formula it says on the container to discard at room temp after 2 hours and at one hour if it's been drank from - however we usually let it go for up to 2 hours with no problems. Breast milk is a lot more lenient, I believe. At least, we were a lot more lax on it.
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Aug 27, 2013 15:49
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DwemerCog posted:Oh are you? My husband does this all the time with our baby (please don't tell me I am a monster, I will tell him not to from now on.) YOU MONSTER!!! I'm kidding. I read this on the little ready to serve bottles of formula I used a few times when my son was only a couple weeks old. Honestly, if your child isn't somehow compromised (preemie, health issues) chances it's going to be a problem are likely slim. I've fed my son breastmilk that he'd started at the previous feeding and didn't finish about 2 hrs before. I have such a thing about wasting breastmilk, because it's more valueable than gold to me and I have such a hard time pumping that while your suggestion is a great one logically, I'm thinking "If the sitter doesn't use all the milk, it has to be used soon since it's been defrosted, what a waste!" Which is silly, because feeding it to the baby isn't wasting it, but if I'm physically present he doesn't need expressed milk, that's "wasting" it to me. Don't beat yourself up, Dwemer. There's tons of things you know that I don't I'm sure, I get the "I did not know that!" from this thread all the time.
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Aug 27, 2013 15:54
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That rule is for formula, not breast milk. Breast milk actually has active antibodies in it that prevent there being a problem. If you want to be particularly cautious, you can change the nipple. That said, have you thought about going on a breakfast or lunch date on the weekend instead? Those can be a little easier to work in.
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Aug 27, 2013 16:15
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| # ? May 29, 2024 15:55 |
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Yeah, my husband and I will finish feeding the milk in one bottle in multiple feedings so long as it is all gone within 4-5 hours. It has never come close to taking 4-5 hours though.
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Aug 27, 2013 16:20
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