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 Round Three, Match Fifteen Match Fifteen, McGruff the Crime Hound (Pure Kamikaze) vs. Belbez Evon (Goatie)  Gorilla Monsoon here again with Jesse Ventura, coming to you live from Sankis Memorial Stadium here in Boatmurdered, with another edition of Arena Challenge! And we've got an interesting match tonight, Gino. It's werewolf against dwarf. The bigger guys have had a lot of success in this tournament, but Belbez is the last dwarf left in the tournament. His fellow dwarves here in Boatmurdered will all be pulling for him tonight. In the left corner, the werewolf McGruff the Crime Dog enters the arena to the jeers of the 35,241 dwarven fans here in attendance tonight! McGruff only wields a steel dagger, and has an assortment of armor including a leather breastplate over a silver mail shirt over another shirt of bronze, and a silver helm, leather leggings, and bronze high boots. And the crowd is really letting him have it. They don't want that werewolf to win. In the right corner, Belbez Evon is entering the arena to his own personal entrance music theme composed by the great Sirocco himself! And Sankis Memorial Stadium literally exploded in joyous cheers! Did you miss the memo, Gino? Obviously, you never did look up the definition of "literally" like I told you to after the last fight we did together. Belbez is wielding an iron warhammer, and wears a copper mail shirt under a steel shirt under a leather breastplate, an iron cap under an iron helm, and a set of iron high boots. Both fighters' heads and bodies should be well-protected with all those layers of armor, Gino. But the limbs can still be a weak point. And Arena Challenge is all about attacking the weak points. And there's the bell, and the fight is underway! Belbez Evon raises his hammer with one hand and pumps the fist of the other, and the crowd responds with enthusiasm! The cheers are literally deafening! I can barely even hear myself over the screaming fans! What did you say, Gino? I can barely hear you over the crowd, but I think you almost might have used the word "literally" correctly for once. Almost. McGruff crosses his arms and looks around at the dwarves in the crowd with a smug expression on his face. Yeah, and I think they just happen to have an emoticon for that around here.  And while Belbez is working the crowd, McGruff charges, and knocks him to the ground! And the crowd is booing that cheap-shot! Hey, when you're in a fight to the death, there are no cheap shots. Belbez is stunned! McGruff stabs at his hand while he's down, and connects! That's not as bad as it could have been, but I still think I heard a couple of bones crack. And as Belbez tries to get to his feet, McGruff saunters over and pops him in the mouth with the pommel of his dagger! The dwarves of Boatmurdered weren't pleased to see that at all. McGruff tries to stab at the prone Belbez to finish him off, but he rolls away, and gets back to his feet! Then he raises his arms for the fans to show that he isn't hurt! The crowd erupts! But not in the literal sense, Gino. Will you stop that? McGruff charges again, and knocks Belbez back to the arena floor! Well, that sure quieted the crowd. McGruff tries to administer a finishing blow, but Belbez parries it and rolls back to his feet! The crowd goes wild! Belbez Evon may be great at working his home crowd, but he's going to have to land a few blows to win this thing. McGruff charges again, and knocks Belbez to the floor again, stunning him! This time, McGruff presses the advantage and stabs at Belbez's foot! He connects, fracturing the metatarsals! Fracturing the metatarsals? I think you mean breaking his foot, Gino. And McGruff stabs again, right through Belbez's arm! McGruff stands up and roars to taunt the crowd, which erupts in a chorus of boos! If you're going to play the heel, Gino, you've got to do it right. And I speak from experience, and I know what I'm talking about. And I like what I'm seeing. As Belbez tries to get to his feet, McGruff bites his weapon hand and latches on! Belbez can't hold on to his hammer any longer! I think a bunch of Dwarven fans are about to go home disappointed! Belbez gets back to his feet, just in time for McGruff to knock him back to the arena floor! And I just might have a new favorite fighter in this tournament. Not so much because he's such a great fighter, which he is... but more because of how much he's made the crowd hate him. Belbez finally passes out from the pain, and McGruff ends the match by stabbing him in the head! And the crowd is really getting restless! McGruff better get out of here while he can, before the security guards lose all control here! McGruff taunts the crowd with a few parting shots as he sprints towards the exit tunnel, and this match is over! There's only one match left in this third round! And after that I expect there will be a break, as the winning fighters spend their newly earned points, and new bets are placed. A break, Gino? Are you implying it will be longer than the usual break? How many months should we expect to take off after this next match? Three? Four? Seven? Thirty? Will you stop that?! For Jesse Ventura, I'm Gorilla Monsoon, and we'll see you all next time! Goodbye!Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Aug 30, 2013 |
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Aug 30, 2013 09:31
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That was brutal. Poor dwarf.
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Aug 30, 2013 10:23
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Kamikaze and Klokwurk took home some good payouts on those fights too. Rickvoid still has a commanding lead with nearly 4x dorfbux as the guy in second.
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Aug 30, 2013 13:50
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I love the commentary gimmicks so much 
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Aug 30, 2013 18:00
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Goodnight, last dwarf. That was a really dominating performance from the werewolf.
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Aug 31, 2013 06:06
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I'm so happy this is back, and I'm so happy my tiger won, cause it would have been a little bitter if he didn't (sorry Shotgun). And it's excellent and incredibly entertaining, as always.
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Aug 31, 2013 10:12
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Black Griffon posted:I'm so happy this is back, and I'm so happy my tiger won, cause it would have been a little bitter if he didn't (sorry Shotgun). And it's excellent and incredibly entertaining, as always. Please go ahead and update your fighter through the website with the new points you've been awarded. That goes for you, and also for Dallbun, Shorter Than Some, Clockwork Gadget, TurninTrix, CommaToes, burginator, and Pure Kamikaze. I'm hoping to get the last fight of the round done this weekend, and then there will be a break to allow all of the winning players to update their fighters. I'll send out notification e-mails to any players that haven't updated their fighters yet when the round is finished. After a few days, though, any fighters that have not been updated will be made available to anyone without a fighter who is still following the thread, first-come, first-served!
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Aug 31, 2013 20:18
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My fight is next. My fight is next. It occurs to me I've been waiting a literal year for this. I don't know how I feel about that. That loving dogman better win.
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Aug 31, 2013 21:23
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Oh geez, now I need to remember my password. Again. 
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Sep 1, 2013 19:40
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MCGRUFF THE CRIME HOUND LIVES! It took a dozen tries but I remembered my password and have polished McGruffs helmet to a mirror sheen, he is ready.
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Sep 1, 2013 19:53
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TurninTrix posted:Oh geez, now I need to remember my password. Again. It looks like the old support thread fell into the archives, so feel free to post these sorts of messages in this thread for now. I'll give you a password reset when I get back home and have access to the server here in a few hours. EDIT: Password reset sent. Also, CommaToes, check your PM inbox, I've sent you a reset as well as per your request. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Sep 1, 2013 |
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Sep 1, 2013 19:59
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Yeah, I'm going to need a password reset, too.  Sorry about that. Glad to have another round coming, though! Time to put more points in Shoot Stuff, sit back, and hope.
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Sep 2, 2013 00:48
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Updated... Lets see how far I can get. I think I won the yeti mini tourney... it's been so long I can't remember.
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Sep 2, 2013 01:01
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Dallbun posted:Yeah, I'm going to need a password reset, too. I've sent a password reset to the e-mail address you registered with.
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Sep 2, 2013 01:14
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Round Three, Match Sixteen Match Sixteen, Barrelbum (FebrezeNinja) vs. Brometheus (Locomotive breath)  This is Jazzimus Prime, here with Ironhide, live from Gemclod Arena, and welcome to the final match of this third round of Arena Challenge! Tonight's winner, along with all the other Round Three winners, will be randomly re-seeded in the next round, so each fighter has an equal chance of taking on any of the remaining fighters! And this match, we've got two big guys fightin' it out. In the left corner, Barrelbum the tigerman wields a steel halberd in one hand and a wooden shield in the other, and wears a full set of iron armor -- a helm, mail shirt, greaves, gauntlets, and low boots. He looks pretty well protected. And in the right corner, Brometheus the werewolf wields an iron two-handed-sword in just one hand, and a wooden shield in the other! He wears an assortment of mail, including a steel helm, iron mail shirt and high boots, and copper leggings and gauntlets. Hmmm. He's got good protection too, but that iron sword might have a hard time gettin' through Barrelbum's iron armor. And there's the bell! It's on! Brometheus makes the first strike with his sword, but Barrelbum blocks it with his shield. Now Barrelbum counters with the halberd, but Brometheus blocks as well! Brometheus strikes again, and is blocked again! Again Barrelbum counterstrikes, but Brometheus parries the halberd with his sword! Both guys look good on defense! We might be in for a long fight. Brometheus takes a lightning-fast stab at Barrelbum, and connects! But Barrelbum's armor holds, and the tigerman is simply knocked back a bit! That woulda probably killed an unarmored guy right there. But you can see on his face that he felt that. It's gonna leave a bruise. The fighters step back from each other a bit, sizing up one another! Suddenly Barrelbum lunges and stabs the tip of his halberd into Brometheus's right upper leg! That coulda been a lot worse than it was, but I don't think he connected with the bone there. Brometheus grits his teeth and fights on! Brometheus stabs at Barrelbum again with his sword, but the iron armor deflects the blow! Barrelbum responds by stabbing Brometheus in the right leg again with the spear point of his halberd, getting through the armor! The tigerman draws blood again, but neither of those hits he landed looked all that serious. Barrelbum quickly swings his halberd in a wide arc, but Brometheus jumps away at the last second! I think this is already one of the longer fights that I've seen since we started doin' this. They fighters slowly approach each other, staring each other down! Barrelbum tries for another quick strike, but Brometheus blocks again with the shield and counters! He lands a solid blow on Barrelbum's right arm, but again, the armor absorbs most of the damage! I like a good defensive battle. So much better than watchin' one guy one-shot the other guy. Now Brometheus charges and swings at Barrelbum's face! Barrelbum tries to jump back, but his nose is thoroughly mangled by the strike! And there's the first good solid hit for the wolfman! Brometheus's momentum carries him forward and he crashes into Barrelbum! Both fighters tumble to the ground, and Brometheus is momentarily stunned! Barrelbum tries to strike at the werewolf from the ground before he can recover, but Brometheus gets his shield up just in time! Brometheus leaps to his feet and swings a couple of quick strikes with his sword, only to be blocked and parried by Barrelbum from the ground! Barrelbum counters from his back, but again is blocked by the shield! Brometheus swings again but is blocked, and is forced to jump back to avoid a vicious counter by Barrelbum! Neither fighter is givin' anything away here. The fighters strike at each other, only to be blocked again! Finally Brometheus connects on a vicious slash to Barrelbum's right arm, but again the armor absorbs most of it! So far, the tigerman has a bunch of bruises and a torn-up nose, and the werewolf has two big cuts on his right leg, but neither guy's taken a game-changing injury yet. But Brometheus is on his feet, and Barrelbum is still on the ground! Barrelbum gets back to his feet as Brometheus connects on two more stabs with his sword, but again, the tigerman's armor takes most of the punishment, leaving nothing more than a couple more nasty bruises! These hits do add up, but I bet Brometheus wishes he had a steel sword right now instead of that iron one. Brometheus charges again! It worked well for him last time, but this time both fighters fall to the arena floor, stunned! Both fighters shake it off and get back on their feet! I still don't think either guy has an advantage yet. Brometheus stabs at Barrelbum's chest, but the armor deflects it entirely! He stabs again at the tigerman's head, but the helm deflects that strike! And neither guy is showin' any sign of fatigue. This could go on for a while. Now Brometheus charges at Barrelbum for a third time, but the tigerman braces for the impact this time, and holds his ground! Instead, it's Brometheus who is momentarily stunned! And here's the tiger's chance to take control of the fight! Before Brometheus can recover, Barrelbum swings his halberd downwards with all of his might, and severs the wolf's left foot! Brometheus crashes to the floor! There's the first real hit either guy has landed! Barrelbum wastes no time, and stabs the point of his halberd into Brometheus's chest while he's down! Now the werewolf is having trouble breathing! This might be it! Barrelbum goes for a headshot to finish the fight! But -- Brometheus's steel helm is too strong, and completely deflects the blow! Brometheus is hurt badly, but he's no longer stunned! Fighting from the ground, Brometheus blocks another blow from the tigerman with his shield! He tries to counterstrike, but is blocked himself! The werewolf isn't gonna concede anything, but it's gonna be hard to win this fightin' from the ground. Brometheus swings again from the ground, but can't get through Barrelbum's armor! Barrelbum strikes several times, but the werewolf continues to block and parry, in spite of his condition! He's fightin' well from the ground, but he's gettin' weaker from all the blood he's losin'. Barrelbum strikes again and again, but Brometheus continues to parry! But the massive blood loss finally catches up to him, and he's unable to prevent a halberd-stab right into his heart! Dang. I thought he was bleedin' before, but it was nothin' like this.  Barrelbum continues to go for the headshot to finish the match, but Brometheus continues to parry and fight back with the last of his strength! It doesn't matter though, as he finally bleeds to death! Aww. I'm gonna miss that guy. He had guts, he had tenacity, he had determination, he had a good attitude, and he had a popped collar. And that's the last, and certainly the longest, match of this third round! See y'all in Round Four! For Ironhide, this is Jazzimus Prime. Good night everyone!Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 03:07
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Jazzimus Prime posted:It looks like the old support thread fell into the archives, so feel free to post these sorts of messages in this thread for now. Thanks, all prepped out. 
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Sep 2, 2013 03:48
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That would have been a very suspenseful read if you had waited a few hours to PM me to update my fighter. Or an interesting fakeout. Very mirrored battle, I'm glad I upgraded weapon.
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Sep 2, 2013 04:45
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133 fighters entered the tournament -- 128 in the bracket plus the five who fell in the Battle Royale. 117 of these have been eliminated. Only sixteen remain. And Dr Stranglelove, a strangler managed by Shorter Than Some. Since it's taken so long to run the current round, I think it's fair to allow seven days for the managers to update their respective fighters. After that, And if anyone has forgotten a password, a new tech support thread has been put up here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3568167 Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 04:54
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roctavian is good to go!
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Sep 2, 2013 07:21
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Is that the first shot through the heart we've seen in this tournament?
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Sep 2, 2013 09:48
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FebrezeNinja posted:
I'm not.  Oh well! At least Brometheus put up a good fight to close out the round. May he keg-stand in peace. Note to self for next tournament (  ): Upgrading weapons is important!
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Sep 2, 2013 10:03
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Oh man, that was incredibly intense. Might have been the best battle I've seen so far in this tournament.
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Sep 2, 2013 14:41
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We're still waiting on Shorter than Some to update his fighter Dr Stranglelove, then we can begin the next round.
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Sep 2, 2013 16:29
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I wanted to know what I might be up against last round, so I went back through Jazz and Vox's posts and copy pasted this:Vox & Jazzimus Prime combined posted:Mrs. Vox, a troll newly under Bad Munki's vaunted tutelage, is armed with a steel great axe and armored with a steel mail shirt. My take is that Mrs Vox is a big concern and Picnic Raider's a total wildcard, I'm liking my chances against the others, which is probably just setting myself up for a fall but whatever. Fun times to come!
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Sep 2, 2013 17:07
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Jazzimus Prime posted:We're still waiting on Shorter than Some to update his fighter Dr Stranglelove, then we can begin the next round. I'll adopt him if not!
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Sep 3, 2013 15:53
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Hugh Mann seeks to continue his murderous rampage. His bloodlust knows no bounds.
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Sep 4, 2013 01:58
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Jack the Lad posted:I'll adopt him if not! I sent Shorter than Some another e-mail. The deadline is this Sunday, September 8 at 1:30 PM CDT. At that time, if he hasn't responded, the fighter will be made available for adoption.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:01
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Dirty Frank posted:I wanted to know what I might be up against last round, so I went back through Jazz and Vox's posts and copy pasted this: You sir underestimate a werewolf that wears silver.
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Sep 6, 2013 05:07
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Pure Kamikaze posted:You sir underestimate a werewolf that wears silver. I called the RSPCA about him and they told me "Just put the mad dog out of its misery". So there you go, even the wet lettuces at the RSPCA don't care about pain-crazed Werewolves.
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Sep 6, 2013 08:03
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Shorter Than Some, you have 40 Hours left as of this post to claim your fighter, or else it's going up for grabs!
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Sep 7, 2013 03:40
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drat, when did this thread recover?
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Sep 7, 2013 13:58
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goatface posted:drat, when did this thread recover? Jazzimus asked me about taking over to finish things up awhile back, and of course I was happy to pass control to him. I'm glad everyone will finally get some closure! I may hop in and do some matches as well at some point.
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Sep 8, 2013 02:36
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I've sent Shorter than Some his final notice! He has 12 hours to claim his fighter (the deadline is 1:30 PM CDT Sunday), or his strangler Dr Stranglelove will be made available first-come, first-serve to anyone registered at the ArenaChallenge site who doesn't currently have a fighter in the tournament!Vox Nihili posted:Jazzimus asked me about taking over to finish things up awhile back, and of course I was happy to pass control to him. I'm glad everyone will finally get some closure! Welcome back!
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Sep 8, 2013 07:38
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The deadline has arrived, and I still haven't heard from Shorter than Some, so... The fighter Dr Stranglelove is now available for adoption! The first* player to reply to this thread asking to adopt this fighter may have him! *Players who still have an active fighter in the tournament are not eligible
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Sep 8, 2013 19:31
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Mine! Edit: I'm also going to go ahead and request a password reset for the arena site.
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Sep 8, 2013 19:31
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Anchors posted:Mine! Done and done! Check your PMs and/or the e-mail address you registered with for your new password. and ignore that weird cut-and-paste error in the subject line of the PM, I have no idea how that happened You have six hours to update the fighter, or he goes up for adoption again! Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 19:46 on Sep 8, 2013 |
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Sep 8, 2013 19:43
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The deed is done! Excited to be back in action.
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Sep 8, 2013 19:56
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Anchors posted:The deed is done! Excited to be back in action. And with that, ladies and gentlemen... THE FOURTH ROUND RANDOM RESEEDINGS ARE DONE! REGISTERED USERS MAY NOW PLACE BETS ON THE FOURTH ROUND: http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/place_bet.php?4 HERE ARE THE TOURNAMENT SEMIQUARTERFINAL MATCHES Elizabeth Bennet (Dirty Frank) vs. Horza (ZeeToo) Picnic Raider (Monk E) vs. Clown Baby (longgonejohn) Hugh Mann (burginator) vs. roctavian (Clockwork Gadget) Sir Smellsalot (Black Griffon) vs. MLK (Red Dragon) Junai (TurninTrix) vs. Pinball Wizard (Dallbun) Mrs. Vox (Bad Munki) vs. Dr Stranglelove (Anchors) McGruff the Crime Hound (Pure Kamikaze) vs. Barrelbum (FebrezeNinja) Dies Horribly (rickvoid) vs. Pip (CommaToes) We'll wait a few days before starting the matches to allow time for bets to be placed. Good luck to all the fighters! 
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Sep 8, 2013 20:11
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I wonder how many dorfbux has disappeared from the betting pool due to this last hiatus. I only had 208 dorfbux to bet with, and the bets so far are kind of low overall. Of course, it hasn't been long at all since betting opened.
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Sep 8, 2013 20:52
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I only had 606, so I put 101 on 6 random people
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Sep 8, 2013 20:59
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