BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

FairGame posted:

Those later 90s Rangers teams might warrant a 4-point rating. No starting pitching, but a great catcher on both offense and defense, Will Clark (who I imagine would be very good in a John Olerud-y way), John Wetteland, prime Juan Gonzalez, a top-notch closer, and decent bench options like Todd Zeile and stuff. Or Raffy instead of Will Clark if you want later.

The 61 Yankees, for example, are a 4-point team and don't really offer any more than Mickey Mantle, a platoon partner in Roger Maris, an ancient Yogi Berra, and maybe a #5 in Whitey Ford. I think the Rangers offer more to an SL team than the Yankees do, yet cost less.

(alternately, the 61 Yankees should be downgraded, I guess.)

Which of those pieces are really useful, though? Ivan Rodriguez is a steady hand, but rarely a star in the Super-League because he does not draw walks. Will Clark is pretty good, but hardly game-changing. Juan Gone is okay, but probably a platoon guy in the Super-League. There are a lot of interesting pieces, but their best bits are really just players you'd use to fill gaps on your team, rather than guys who will actually be helpful.

The Yankees, on the other hand, have a top-tier center fielder, a top-tier catcher, a good backup catcher, Roger Maris, who is probably better than Juan Gone all things told, and they're pitching is better. The Rangers' best pitcher over this time frame was Rick Helling. The Yankees' best is Whitey Ford.

I'll grant you that the five-point system doesn't allow for as much granularity as you might like, but I think the '61 Yankees are a cut above the late-90s Rangers.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:10

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# ? May 25, 2024 19:13

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

FairGame posted:

Those later 90s Rangers teams might warrant a 4-point rating. No starting pitching, but a great catcher on both offense and defense, Will Clark (who I imagine would be very good in a John Olerud-y way), John Wetteland, prime Juan Gonzalez, a top-notch closer, and decent bench options like Todd Zeile and stuff. Or Raffy instead of Will Clark if you want later.

The 61 Yankees, for example, are a 4-point team and don't really offer any more than Mickey Mantle, a platoon partner in Roger Maris, an ancient Yogi Berra, and maybe a #5 in Whitey Ford. I think the Rangers offer more to an SL team than the Yankees do, yet cost less.

(alternately, the 61 Yankees should be downgraded, I guess.)

Mickey Mantle is a top 3 player in one of the hardest positions to fill. You cannot give away Mantle, especially one in his prime, for 3 points. Alternatively. I'm not going to spend more than 3 points on a team that lacks and elite player at some position, and those Rangers teams are a prime example of that. No big names, but a good deal of 'nice' players. Seems like a classic 3 pointer to me.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:21

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Yeah that was because of inconsistent instructions from me. Good job me Anyway, anything works, but using something that easily identifies the team makes the sheet easier to clean up when someone's team dies.

Thanks for the clarification. I filled in Oxen for my teams. That should make it easy to expunge them shortly.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:22

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

What's the reasoning behind the 2013 braves being a 4-pointer? I don't see the pieces being that good. I mean, there's McCann and a bullpen. Everything past that is really kind of a lottery ticket; Jason Heyward is basically a poor man's Andruw Jones, with inferior defense and power. Justin Upton is good, but not good enough for a corner outfield spot on a SL team.

Past that, you might get some use out of Simmons, whose defense might be good enough to counteract what I'd assume is going to be a sub mendoza line average, or Freeman, who might be a below average 1B in the Sl. Starting pitching isn't great either, Hudson's old, and only a 4 or 5 pitcher in the SL anyway, while Minor and Medlen have had a good year or two each, which isn't going to be enough to make them usable. Am I missing something?

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:28

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

TheFlyingLlama posted:

What's the reasoning behind the 2013 braves being a 4-pointer? I don't see the pieces being that good. I mean, there's McCann and a bullpen. Everything past that is really kind of a lottery ticket; Jason Heyward is basically a poor man's Andruw Jones, with inferior defense and power. Justin Upton is good, but not good enough for a corner outfield spot on a SL team.

Past that, you might get some use out of Simmons, whose defense might be good enough to counteract what I'd assume is going to be a sub mendoza line average, or Freeman, who might be a below average 1B in the Sl. Starting pitching isn't great either, Hudson's old, and only a 4 or 5 pitcher in the SL anyway, while Minor and Medlen have had a good year or two each, which isn't going to be enough to make them usable. Am I missing something?

Atlanta is interesting. The pitching has a chance to be ridiculous (Kimbrel is already looking like he should be a shut-down RP option, Minor is getting fantastic, Teheran has good numbers forming, Medlen is looking good). The hitters are dicier.

It's such a young team that it's absolutely not worth 4 points right now. If the 2013 stats get input I could see it maybe being called a 3, and largely based on Kimbrel being so hilariously good, McCann being a serviceable C, and some fast outfielders with pop. I don't think Simmons will be worth it until several years pass and it turns out he IS the second coming of Ozzie Smith.

Maybe 3 or 4 seasons from now if the pitching holds it could be a 4-pointer. But with the way BBM works, you'd be an absolutely idiot to take this team now.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:38

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

I have no intention of floating the 2013 Braves a potential feeder team any time soon, so it's somewhat of a moot point.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:52

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

Fair enough. Just asking.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:53

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I have no intention of floating the 2013 Braves a potential feeder team any time soon, so it's somewhat of a moot point.

But then what can we impotently nerd-argue about?

# ? Oct 9, 2013 17:57

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Haha, I just saw the rating for the 2003 Marlins

# ? Oct 9, 2013 18:31

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Pick 'em: The Song Remains the Same

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Philadelphia Premodernists

Television Title
Somali Pirates @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Haukness Mad Knights (c) @ Coburns

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Canton Calamities

Heavyweight Title
Canton Calamities @ Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 9, 2013 19:08

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

FairGame posted:

Haha, I just saw the rating for the 2003 Marlins

The other thing I noticed at first and which must have been subsequently changed was that the header for the Yankees was the "loving Yankees".

# ? Oct 9, 2013 19:14

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

Smasher Dynamo posted:

My great work is completed:

Behold the Uniform Master Team List v1!

I'm open to any comments about the point values I have assigned. Keep in mind that you will either be building your next team based off these point values or facing teams who have built based on these point values, so if you have something to say about this list, say it now.

After some snooping, I discovered that the 1952 Red Sox are a one point team, despite featuring the following:

Ted Williams
Vern Stephens
Johnny Pesky
Dom Dimaggio
George Kell
Lou Bourdeau
And some dudes that might be considered pitchers.

I figured that this was just an error, because its pretty absurd that this team would be 1 point.

# ? Oct 9, 2013 20:00

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Pick 'em: The Song Remains the Same

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Philadelphia Premodernists

Television Title
Somali Pirates @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Haukness Mad Knights (c) @ Coburns

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Canton Calamities

Heavyweight Title
Canton Calamities @ Burma Imperialists (c)

# ? Oct 9, 2013 22:04

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

GenericGirlName posted:

Looking For:

LF - Must be better than Cliff Floyd '06

Willing to Trade:

Mo Vaughn 2000 - Mint Condition, hasn't even met with our team of Pyrex doctors yet.
David Wright or Mike Schmidt - depends on how impressive your offer is!

I could give up baby Carlos Delgado or prime Jose Canseco + a good bullpen arm (Mike Timlin) for Wright

Or give you ~~prime Roberto Alomar + one of the outfielders for Wright.~~ nevermind this is stupid i should at least see how Alomar does for me in the EC

FairGame fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Oct 9, 2013

# ? Oct 9, 2013 22:30

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

tatankatonk/Quaker! :siren:

You posted and claimed teams in the signup thread. You have not actually submitted a roster in any way yet. I'd like to get the league built and the cup moving by tomorrow. I don't mean to be rude, but I need you to poo poo or get off the pot.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 01:41

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XI, Week 16: Goliath and Super-Goliath

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

COBURNS COMPLETE SWEEP, CAPTURE CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP WITH 8-3 WIN

Fort Sumner- The Coburns are risen.

The Coburns had about as bad a start to the season as they could, going 9-16 in the first month, and were not much better in the next two months. And with the Rockford Losers having the season they've had so far, that basically knocked the Coburns right out of the division race.

Now, to a lesser team, that might have been the end of their story. After all, the history of the Super-League is littered with teams that dug themselves deep holes early and never clawed their way out. But the Coburns are led by Warm Sarsaparilla, first born of Marauder's progeny, and endowed with the greatest measure of his creator's cleverness. And now, having decisively beaten the Haukness Mad Knights three straight games, they have taken the Canadian Championship back to the Dynamo League for the first time in its two-season history, and gotten themselves a secondary championship for the first time since Week 2 of this season, when the Losers beat them senseless in their opening salvo.

Warm Sarsaparilla credited his team's recent success to, "Love. And love is the thing that has been missing from this league for too long. For eleven seasons, we have all been lied to, misled, sent down that blind alley that said that each team was on their own, that there could be no love in this league. But one man said 'no'. One man stood up and said, "Let the love flow, let me find themselves true friendship in this league.' And his name was Marauder, he was Coburn's truest prophet. And so I stand here today, in front of all y'all people, and I ask: Who among you is ready to love your fellow owner? The Marauder Syndicate is open to all of you! Place your fate in the hands of Marauder, and y'all shall receive eternal life in his name! Finally, you can escape the endless cycle of life and relegation. The Syndicate is the beginning, and the Syndicate is the end! And we are all that lies in between."

Lord Mayor Humungus, commander of the Rockford Losers and Despoiler of the Quad Cities then appeared on the stadium's Jumbotron to give Warm Sarsaparilla a rebuke, "Warm Sarsaparilla! Why must you insult me like this? I have five titles, I have need for no more and yet you leave me no choice but to take the Canadian Championship as well. I killed you, Warm Sarsaparilla, I broke your body! And you disrespect both myself and the Rockford Losers by this persistence in living! I am a merciful man, Warm Sarsaparilla, and so I will give you once chance to make up for these insults. All you must do is hand over the Canadian Championship and then kill yourself, and I will leave your team in peace. It is a fair offer. In two weeks, the Coburns will be forced to travel to Rockford. You will deliver your title and your life then, or I will take them both from you!"

In the other locker room, the Mad Knights were quite bummed, noting that, coming from South Dakota, the southernmost province of Canada, they had failed their country by losing the Canadian Championship, and that Prime Minister Stephen Harper would most assuredly revoke their memberships in the Order of Canada as a result.

GAME NOTES

-The Mad Knights failed to hit a single extra-base hit or draw a walk. That sort of offensive performance isn't going to win many games.

-Stephen Strasburg got his first win as a Coburn and, for the first time in over seven seasons, appears to actually be a net asset to a team rather than a liability.

-Pash, I know you're feeling low right now, but think of it this. Whenever that kid from Pokemon...Ash, I think his name was, right, whenever he got his rear end kicked, he'd teach one of his Pokemon some sort of new technique so that he'd win the rematch. So go do that or something.

Box Score

Don May posted:

SYMPHONY HANG ON TO TELEVISION TITLE WITH 5-4 WIN

Scranton- Some day, the Pirates are going to win a championship, and it's going to be great.

But it's not going to happen this week.

The Symphony appear to be running a bit low on gas as the season progresses, with their injuries mounting and showing the lack of depth on their roster. The Pirates, on the other hand, are gaining momentum, and are well on their way to winning their second straight Sic Transit Vir Division Championship.

The previous day's game, which saw the Pirates win 8-6 after the Symphony's bullpen allowed a Pirates comeback in the latter innings, raised questions over whether the Symphony could hang on to their Television Championship, first won by the Galactic Wanderers over a full season ago, and held continuously by mrnoun ever since. After all, the defeat of mrnoun's tag team, Rhapsody in Blue, by Doomsday in the finals had been a clear sign that mrnoun was no longer the unquestioned master of the Super-League.

But the Symphony still had their great rotation, and if they went down, they certainly weren't going down easy. Roy Halladay limited the Pirates to just one run over seven innings, and then Elias Sosa pitched a scoreless eighth. The Symphony just needed to get through one more inning, and they'd retain the Television Title. With the Symphony holding onto a four-run lead, mrnoun elected to stick with his hot hand, and allow Sosa to pitch another inning.

Willie Mays was up first for the Pirates, and while he's been the best hitter for the Pirates since he came over in the Super-Draft, Sosa struck him out to lead off the inning. Buck Leonard, eager to get something going, then hit a single to put the pressure back on Sosa, but the Symphony reliever countered by inducing a Frankie Frisch fly out. The Symphony were now just one out away, but Sosa was exhausted. Lou Whitaker singled to put runners at the corners and then Wally Berger hit a long home run to bring the Pirates within one and stun the Symphony faithful.

With the tying run now at the plate in the form of Alan Trammell, mrnoun got Mike Marshall working in the bullpen, but it would take time for Marshall to warm up. Sosa would have to pitch against one more batter. Trammell knowing that he could tie the game with one strike, and that the Symphony's strength was its starting pitching, long-since departed from this game, tried to give the Pirates new life with one mighty swing of the bat. The ball sailed through the air and, for a moment, it looked as though the Pirates had done, and that the game would continue into the bottom of the ninth either tied, or perhaps even with the Pirates leading. But the ball, as if driven downwards by the anguish of the Symphony fans and players, instead harmlessly drifted in Ken Williams' glove for the final out. And, for the 28th week in a row, the Symphony would hold on to their Television Championship.

Beet praised his rivals after the game, "I look at this stadium, it is the same place where my Pirates came so close to winning the Super-League last season. But we did not win that Game 7, the Wanderers beat us. And we did not win the Television Championship today. The Symphony beat us. I know that someday I will beat this mrnoun, I will become champion. Some day, I will be the king of this league. The next time I come into this stadium, I will win. I promise that. I am tired of coming to this place and coming out a loser."

GAME NOTES

-With the injury to Scott Rolen, many have questioned whether the Symphony lineup has become so weak that there is no way that mrnoun can overcome the odds and win a third straight championship, not even if he does happen to be a high school classmate of John Cena.

--Baby Doll Jacobson may be slowly melting. Someone should probably look into that at some point.

-The American version of The Office was set in Scranton. For those who didn't watch, the show was about stable, long-term employment with benefits in an office setting, created as a historical document to show future generations what people lived like before The Dark TImes began.

Box Score

Don May posted:

MUGGERS LOSE TO PROPANE 3-2, MONICRO CONFRONTS GRIM FUTILITY OF EXISTENCE

Arlen- In a world where Armitage has a team at .500 in the second half of the season, is there any point to going on?

That is just one of the many questions Monicro will have to ask himself after his Muggers fell apart against the Strickland Propane today, 3-2.

Making it even more painful was, going into the final half-inning, the Muggers held a 2-1 lead. If Tom Henke could get just three more outs, the Muggers would pick up the win and another game against the New World Symphony, which they desperately needed as, after one and a half seasons in the Super-League, it is clear that the Louisville Muggers, if they are going to win the Senor Goodtimes Division, are going to need to capitalize on the Symphony's injuries if the Muggers are going anywhere.

Fortunately, or so it seemed, the Propane were an easy mark. Mike Piazza popped out to start the inning, and it looked like the Muggers might be able to hang on. And then Carlos Beltran hit a home run to tie the game, and the Muggers' thoughts shifted from dreams of victory to bare survival. Mark Grace, one of the icons of the Super-League, was due up next, and he confidently knocked a sharp single into right field, putting the go-ahead run on first with only one out. Armitage's mental imbalance, which has gotten him in trouble in the past, then struck hard as the Propane owner felt compelled to over-manage. First, he called on Phil Rizzuto to sacrifice bunt Mark Grace over to second base, costing the Propane a precious out, but moving Mark Grace into scoring position. Then, Armitage, deciding that shuffling his roster was the only sensible thing to do, called on Snuffy Stirnweiss to pinch-run for Mark Grace, which was, all told, not a terrible move, and then pinch-hitting Mickey Mantle for Eddie Yost, which was quite ill-advised.

The problem was thus: Mickey Mantle was the best hitter the Propane had on the bench, to be sure, but that was the entire problem. The pitcher's spot was due up after Mantle, and first base was now open. Monicro, utilizing basic logic, immediately ordered Mantle intentionally walked, forcing Armitage to send in his second-best pinch hitter to the plate with the game on the line, while Mantle watched helplessly at first base. With few options, Armitage turned to Roy White, a player who was exactly as forgettable as his name, to bring home Snuffy and deliver the Propane a much-needed win. By all rights, Armitage's poor management should have cost his team the game. Instead, Roy White drove in Snuffy on an RBI single, leaving the Propane one game over .500 with only 40% of the season remaining, the first time an Armitage team has been so close to a winning record so late in the season.

Monicro, crushed by this defeat as well as the previous night's elimination of the Tampa Bay Rays, a team he professes to be a fan of, told reporters that, "It all seems so pointless. No matter what I do, it's not going to work. I turn on the TV, and Joe Maddon is saying that he's going to start Jeremy loving Hellickson with the Rays' season on the line. Matt Moore is in the bullpen, Chris Archer is in the bullpen, are either of them starting? No! It's Jeremy Hellickson! But, what's this? Joe Maddon is going to keep him on a short leash. And so Hellickson doesn't even last two innings. And the bullpen gets all of whack so that, when it comes down to it, we don't have any ready to pitch extra innings better than David Price! So even if we somehow manage to win this game, we're going to be hosed in Game 5, and what's the point of any of it! And now we have to trade David Price, and there's no way we're going to find a team dumb enough to give us top-level prospects for him! It just sucks. Oh, and we lost this game, but I'm kind of used to losing in the Super-League by this point anyway."

As for Armitage, he was as incoherent as ever, explaining that the some sort of malign entity named "Pitch" was somehow directing his team's fate, though for good or ill was not readily ascertainable based on Armitage's mumbled responses. According to Armitage, this "Pitch" is apparently a demon from hell who happens to look like a cross between Zack Ryder and the traditional Christian depiction of the devil, and, in Armitage's self-created mythology, is responsible for everything that happens to the Propane. Psychologists have speculated that this "Pitch" was created by Armitage as means of creating some other being to blame for the seemingly inevitable failure of the Propane, thus preserving Armitage's fragile ego. Some therapists have speculated that Armitage could be cure of this psychosis with enough therapy, but most concede that, "it really wouldn't be worth it" and that "sometime you've just get to let some people go, like when a lifeguard has to let some people drown for fear of being taken down with them."

GAME NOTES

-It's worth noting that the Symphony are owned by mrnoun, who is a Red Sox fan, which assuredly will make Monicro's eventual defeat by the Symphony all the more bitter.

-Snuffy scored the winning run! This is the greatest day in Snuffy's life. Although, to be sure, Snuffy has had a lot of bad days leading up to it. Snuffy has had a hard life, much of which is attributable to the fact that his name is 'Snuffy.'

Box Score

Don May posted:

COSMOBATS DEFEAT LONGSHOTS' FILIBUSTER WITH KILIBUSTER, WIN 9-7

Leningrad- Today, the Cosmobats showed us all that there is one sure way to defeat a parliamentary maneuver: Brutal, unthinking violence.

The Longshots had carried a 7-7 tie into the bottom of the tenth inning, but with a runner on first base, and the powerful Willie McCovey at the plate, Dannomack evidently thought that the Longshots were better off playing for the tie, rather than the win and, aping theacox's not particularly successful filibuster from last week, did his best to delay the game long enough for it to be called.

"Hello. My name is Dannomack," the Longshots' owner began, "And while I, as a Canadian, do not live under a government that still uses antiquated procedures like the filibuster, because we Canadians, having certain advantages that we understand you Americans just don't, have been able to evolve our government in a different direction. But I figured that I'd just out and try and give it a go. Show you all that we Canadians can be pretty talkative to given a chance, eh! First, I'd like to thank Smasher Dynamo for appending hundreds of pages of written material about DC Comics at the end of the Super-League Charter to be used in these filibusters. I'm not sure why he did that, but here we go: What caused the continuity of DC Comics to become so unstable, thus necessitated Crisis after Crisis and retcon after retcon. The answer, of course, is quite simple. Like all people, everywhere, the people writing DC Comics have troubling letting go of the past. The original sin of DC Continuity, if you will, occurred back in the early '60s. Gardner Fox, a long-time writer and artist for DC, had been working at the company for close to twenty years and remembers back in the '40s when DC rode the first boom and bust cycle of superhero comics. When the bust hit, in the early '50s, they had dumped most of their super-hero line and, with them, that continuity. When super-heroes came back in vogue just a few years later, DC re-used many of the trademarks, such as Green Lantern and Flash, but applied those names to new heroes, completely distinct from the versions from the '40s."

"But Fox, a veteran of DC Comics, still remembered those earlier versions of the characters, and innocently wondered what would happen if the modern version of the Flash, Barry Allen, were to meet the Flash from the '40s, Jay Garrick. The thought persisted, and so he decided that it was a story worth writing, and that the potential confusion it would create would cause no real harm. On that point, he was quite mistaken. In Flash (v1) #123, which had a cover date of September 1961, Barry Allen finds himself transported to an alternate earth, known as Earth-2, where all of the DC characters from the 1940s still reside. He then goes on an adventure with Jay Garrick, his predecessor, before returning to his home dimension, now known as Earth-1. The problem with the story was not that it was a bad story. It was quite good, in fact. No, the real problem is that Gardner Fox had opened a door that should never have been opened, and introduced a set of continuity problems that continue to plague DC Comics to this day, over five decades later."

"Following the success of Flash #123, more Earth-2 crossovers were commissioned, and that is where the trouble began in earnest. For while the Flash and Green Lantern were easily distinct from their Earth-2 counterparts, characters such as Superman and Batman who-" bawfuls then strode to the mound and knocked Dannomack unconscious with a blow from the rifle butt of an AK-47, ending Dannomack's filibuster instantly. When action resumed, Willie McCovey hit the first pitch from John Wetteland into the stands, giving the Cosmobats a 9-7 walk-off win.

After the game, bawfuls, General Secretary of the Cosmobats, announced that, "The Marxist-Leninist principles of the Cosmobats forced me to break Dannomack's bourgeois parliamentary maneuver in order to advance the greater goal of a classless Super-League. The outbreak of violence against those who would obstruct the final revolution that will lead to the end of history is regrettable, but a necessary act to ensure that capitalism is finally consigned to the dustbin of history, from which it can harm no future generations of Super-League teams. Any other line of thinking is deemed counter-revolutionary, and must be purged. Glory to the United Soviet Cosmobats of the Super-League!"

GAME NOTES

-The Longshots amassed 15 hits, making today one of the few times the Cosmobats' offense has looked genuinely impressive.

-But seriously, guys, I have no beef with "Flash of Two Worlds" in an of itself. It's what happened later that was the big problem.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

I'm not sure how your team is working, but, then again, I never understood how the Bobbleheads worked either, and we all know how well that worked out.

Analysis

You can have the greatest offense in the world, but if Ubaldo Jimenez is in your rotation, it still probably won't work.

And you don't really have the greatest offense in the world, anyway.

Analysis

The Division lead and Dihigo is ready. And hell, if you don't need him as a pitcher, I guess he's also a hall of fame quality position player as well.

Analysis

Obviously, the issue is the bottom of your lineup. At the very least, Schang needs to get some time off at some point.

Analysis

Sometimes, your team just makes my head hurt.

Analysis

Not the Calamities' finest hour.

Analysis

It couldn't have happened any other way.

Analysis

Keep on trucking.

Analysis

I don't know that the Outfield of Doom can beat the Bangers by themselves, but they can keep you alive, I guess.

Analysis

Your pitching is coming around, as it basically had to.

Analysis

Stagger onwards to victory!

Analysis

Sometimes, bad things just happen.

Analysis

Curt Schilling is having a rough week both here and in real life. Synchronicity!

Analysis

If I played this season a hundred time, I doubt your pitching would ever perform worse than this. Bad luck is a powerful force in the Super-League.

Analysis

At least one Marauder team is getting their head caved in.

Analysis

You gained a bit of ground against the Symphony and can gain a bit more next week when your team heads to Scranton.

Analysis

That hitting is a problem.

Analysis

Stuck in neutral!

Analysis

Not a great week, but good enough.

Analysis

The current problem is the back of the rotation, and you don't have a ton of great options. Still, a reshuffle might pay off.

Analysis

The Bombers are slowly coming back to life. Good for them!

Analysis

Chicks dig the longball, Marauder. Do not ignore this elemental truth.

Analysis

The Plunder Corp. finally comes to life! That's something, I guess.

Analysis

The Generics picked the worst possible time to be the Generics.

Analysis

Losers smash puny teams!

Analysis

Some day, Beet, some day you'll get a championship for your banner.

Analysis

Inconsistency is a Bolton tradition.

Analysis

Okay, Propane, I tell you what, you want to prove how tough you are? Beat the Tornados and Imperialists in one week.

Analysis

A winning month! The Ted Sox aren't completely dead! But the federal government is, so Moose is kind of out of luck regardless.

Analysis

The Thunderstorms are still steady, at least.

Analysis

The Sic Transit Vir is just too tough a division, I think.

Analysis

Finally playing to your potential, I see. Good.

Standings

# ? Oct 10, 2013 02:12

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Mogul is weird, showing my non-DH batting lineup way incorrect, but showing my non-DH defense correct. And my bullpen is a mess right now [I thought it was one of my strengths, actually...]. Guess I could experiment with a few different arms after the season, if I survive. Rough start for Jered Weaver...and that's all I have to say about that. Starting to think I might replace my DH; Espino's doing nothing for my team aside from hitting dingers. Oh well.

No changes this week. It's all downhill from here.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 02:38

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

So do you need my team from the last thread?

# ? Oct 10, 2013 02:40

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Clearly Ernie Banks is not going to work at 1B/DH permanently. Lucky me, Joe Torre can play first until I figure out something with Santo. So here's a new lineup:

LF - Henderson
2B - Collins
CF - Bonds
RF - Ramirez
C - Berra
1B - Torre
3B - Current Santo
SS - Vaughan
P

e: And I need to make pitching changes too!

Call up Stanton, send down Messersmith.

Rotation should be Phillippe-Walsh-Ford-Clemens-Randy Johnson.

Bullpen should be:

CL - Timlin
SU - Smoltz
SR - Pena
SR - Stanton
MR - Wakefield
LR - Walter Johnson

CthulhuDreams, mks and I were still talking over Heilmann/Ott for the currently benched Santo. I know you're no longer interested in moving the box, but I'm still interested in the two of them. I proposed Heilmann/Ott/Hoffman for him, but I can't get the both of you on IRC when I'm available, so I'll just post the offer in the thread and get your opinion here.

e: I know you were thinking about Foulke also so I could throw him in as well.

mentholmoose fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Oct 10, 2013

# ? Oct 10, 2013 02:52

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

I never actually did any housekeeping after the tag-team break and the drafting of Jay Howell. So let's do that now:

vs. RHP (no DH)
1. RF Billy Hamilton
2. LF Rickey Henderson
3. CF Willie Mays
4. 1B Buck Leonard
5. 3B Frankie Frisch
6. 2B Lou Whitaker
7. SS Alan Trammell
8. C Ernie Lombardi

vs. LHP (no DH)
1. 3B Frankie Frisch
2. LF Rickey Henderson
3. CF Willie Mays
4. 1B Buck Leonard
5. RF Wally Berger
6. 2B Lou Whitaker
7. SS Alan Trammell
8. C Ernie Lombardi

vs. RHP (DH)
1. DH Billy Hamilton
2. LF Rickey Henderson
3. CF Willie Mays
4. 1B Buck Leonard
5. RF Wally Berger
6. 3B Frankie Frisch
7. 2B Lou Whitaker
8. SS Alan Trammell
9. C Ernie Lombardi

vs. LHP (DH)
1. LF Rickey Henderson
2. CF Willie Mays
3. RF Wally Berger
4. 1B Buck Leonard
5. DH Billy Hamilton
6. 3B Frankie Frisch
7. 2B Lou Whitaker
8. SS Alan Trammell
9. C Ernie Lombardi

And the bullpen:

CL: Sergio Romo
SU: Trevor Hoffman
SR: Jay Howell
SR: Dave LaRoche
MR: Frank Barrett
LR: Johnny Sain

kensei posted:

So do you need my team from the last thread?

It's already ready to go for the EC, but it may not be a bad idea to repost it here for posterity's sake.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 03:09

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

I approve the trading of the box for a SL gauntlet bye. Icemole and mks5000, please post to that effect.

New lineup:

CF/DH: Cobb
RF: Heilmann
SS: Appling
1B: Pujols
LF: Cool Papa Bell
3B: Rose
DH/CF: Oscar Charleston
C: Gibson/Tettleton
2B: Riggs

Basically platoon Cobb and Charleston between CF and DH with Cobb taking CF vs RHP and Charleston vs LHP. Platoon Gibson and Tettleton with Tettleton in vs LHP

Put Hoffman in at closer send down McMahon, and slide everyone else down a slot.

Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Oct 10, 2013

# ? Oct 10, 2013 03:15

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Beet posted:

It's already ready to go for the EC, but it may not be a bad idea to repost it here for posterity's sake.

Team Name: Portland Hipsters

Team Logo (150x150 preferred):

Home City: Portland, OR

Home Stadium: Java Park (A complete Safeco Field Clone, pre-fences moved in)

DH Preference: No thanks

30-Man Roster:
Majors
Benito Santiago
Dave Valle
Fred McGriff
Roberto Alomar
Chuck Knoblauch
Jeff Blauser
Jeff Reboulet
Tim Wallach
Terry Pendleton
Tim Raines
David Justice
Deion Sanders
Tony Gwynn
Kirby Puckett

Greg Maddux
John Smoltz
Tom Glavine
Dennis Martinez
Mark Langston
Mike Stanton
Rick Aguilera
Mark Davis
Steve Bedrosian
Tim Burke
Michael Jackson

Minors
Javy Lopez
Chipper jones
LaTroy Hawkins
John Kruk
Edgar Martinez

25 in the majors, 5 in the minors

Lineups:
CF Raines
LF Gwynn
1B McGriff
3B Pendleton
RF Justice
C Santiago
SS Blauser
2B Knoblauch

Pitching Rotation:

SP Greg Maddux
SP John Smoltz
SP Tom Glavine
SP Dennis Martinez
SP Mark Langston

CL Mike Stanton
MR Rick Aguilera
MR Mark Davis
MR Steve Bedrosian
LR Tim Burke
LR Michael Jackson

Strategy (Rate on a scale from -5 to +5)

Hit and Run: +3
Sacrifice Bunt: -2
Squeeze Play: -2
Trying for extra bases: +2
Stealing Bases: +3
Aggressively Tagging Up: +3
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): +1
Giving Intentional Walks: -1
Pitching Around Good Hitters: +1
Bringing the Infield In: +1
Guarding the Lines: +1
Making Cutoff Throws: +3
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: +2 (late)
Bringing in Pinch Runners: +2 (late)
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: +2 (late)
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -5
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble: +2
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: +2

# ? Oct 10, 2013 04:33

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Put Cecil Travis in for Barry Larkin so he can rest up for the week.

Also I'm from Minnesota, none of this South Dakota stuff. Going there takes so long...

# ? Oct 10, 2013 04:41

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Rebounded nicely from that series against the Thunderstorms to end last week at .500! We've gone 4-2 two straight times in series against the Tornados and Imperalists. Can we make it three in a row, with the possibility of ending the week as your World Heavyweight Champion? With no Walter Johnson, that task could be tough.

Send Doug Bird to the DL/AAA, and call up Joe Smith to take his place in middle relief for the week.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 10:03

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Darn I should have called up Ron Mahay for the series vs the Cosmobats. As the last replacement player to retire from MLB, he should be afforded some sort of ratings boost when playing against our resident communists.

Please send down Tim Hudson and Jason Isringhausen.
Please move Mike Cuellar into the long reliever slot.
Please call up Dave McNally and put him is as SP5 and call up Greg McMichael and stick him in at short relief.
Please make Lindy McDaniel closer and John Wettelend setup man.

I hope my next filibuster includes my Y: The Last Man/Marvel Civil War crossover fanfic.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 13:22

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Ugh... more lineup changes.
Activate Stephens and call up Parker to the bench. Send down Lopes and Bautista.

vs R:

LF Williams
RF Smith
2B McManus
1B Gibson
DH Thomas
3B Cey
C McCann
CF Wells
SS Stephens

vs L:

LF Williams
RF Smith
2B McManus
C Gibson
DH Thomas
1B Stephens
3B Cey
CF Wells
SS Fregosi

If Mogul somehow thinks Stephens is a better defensive SS than Fregosi, swap their defensive positions, but I doubt it'll come to that.

Also some bullpen changes:

Sosa to the DL. Call up Sutton.

CL Marshall
SU Gooden
SR Ryan
SR ...Stanhouse?
MR Burnett
LR Sutton

Don't let me down, Dr. K.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 14:32

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Is it weird that I
(1) Really appreciate the filibusters
(2) Imagine each of the filibustering owners as Patton Oswalt
?

Anyway
Send down Chico Carrasquel and Nellie Fox
Call up Tim Salmon and Barry Larkin
Have Tim Salmon platoon with David Justice, move them to the bottom of all lineups.
Move Placido Polanco up to 5th in every lineup

I don't even know what to do with Schilling. Yikes. Why couldn't karma leave him alone until after this season?

# ? Oct 10, 2013 15:51

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Pick 'Em Standings

Toilet of Sadness was the only person to get a perfect week, pushing him into first place on his own.

1.) Toilet of Sadness, 103 points
2.) KW0134, 2 points back
3.) ForeverBWFC, 3 points back
4.) Pash, 7 points back
5.) CraigK, 9 points back
6.) Everyone else: 12 or more points back (Grinnblade and UDQ being the closest)

# ? Oct 10, 2013 16:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Pick 'em: Guacamole $1.39 extra

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Haukness Mad Knights

Television Title
Louisville Muggers @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Rochester Generics

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Strickland Propane

Injury Report

Cancun Tornados
Rollie Fingers (RP) (Riggs and Kelly botched a Doomsday Device) - 24 days

Everett Trues
Paul Konerko (1B) (No Country for Old First Basemen) - 40 days

Hawk City TWTWs
Troy Percival (RP) (You can put him on the DL........YESSSSSSSS!) - 28 days

Lombard St. Gumshoes
Mickey Mantle (CF) (Boom-shakalaka!) - Out for Season

Mercury Mets
Keith Hernandez (1B) (Was on Seinfeld, now on DL forever) - Out for Season

New World Symphony
Dizzy Dean (SP) (The Symphony's Last Gleaming) - 18 days

Plunder Corp.
Tommy Hanson (SP) (For the sake of peace and sanity) - 13 days

Tudor Misers
Howie Camnitz (SP) (The Grippe) - 21 days

# ? Oct 10, 2013 20:15

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Pick 'em: Guacamole $1.39 extra

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Haukness Mad Knights

Television Title
Louisville Muggers @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Rochester Generics

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Strickland Propane

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Injury Report
Hawk City TWTWs
Troy Percival (RP) (You can put him on the DL........YESSSSSSSS!) - 28 days

# ? Oct 10, 2013 20:17

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Which of those pieces are really useful, though? Ivan Rodriguez is a steady hand, but rarely a star in the Super-League because he does not draw walks. Will Clark is pretty good, but hardly game-changing. Juan Gone is okay, but probably a platoon guy in the Super-League. There are a lot of interesting pieces, but their best bits are really just players you'd use to fill gaps on your team, rather than guys who will actually be helpful.

The Yankees, on the other hand, have a top-tier center fielder, a top-tier catcher, a good backup catcher, Roger Maris, who is probably better than Juan Gone all things told, and they're pitching is better. The Rangers' best pitcher over this time frame was Rick Helling. The Yankees' best is Whitey Ford.

I'll grant you that the five-point system doesn't allow for as much granularity as you might like, but I think the '61 Yankees are a cut above the late-90s Rangers.

Fair enough. Mostly I just like looking at rosters and seeing where I think bargains lie. Such as the 1991 Houston Astros, a 1 point roster that offers:

24 year old Kenny Lofton, possibly capable of starting
23 year old Jeff Bagwell, an elite 1b
25 year old Craig Biggio, who while he kinda sucks in the SL would offer significant positional flexibility and is a competent backup C
26 year old Steve Finley, who'd be a good backup; he's untried south of 30 in the SL
27 year old Luis Gonzalez, who might be useful.
I'm not going to bother linking Ken Caminiti but he's also probably worth a flyer.
24 year old Curt Schilling has performed acceptably in the SL, and while he's not CURT loving SCHILLING yet, that's still pretty good.

That seems like a lot for a 1-point team and if my team gets relegated I'd probably take this team in a future EC were it offered.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 20:37

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Archie Goodwin, now that your Mantle is injured , what would it take to acquire him?

# ? Oct 10, 2013 20:48

bawfuls: Oct 28, 2009

Pick 'em: Guacamole $1.39 extra

champs retain

# ? Oct 10, 2013 20:54

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Pick 'em: Guacamole $1.39 extra

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Haukness Mad Knights

Television Title
Louisville Muggers @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Rochester Generics

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Strickland Propane

FairGame posted:

27 year old Luis Gonzalez, who might be useful.

23-year old; it was his rookie season. I wouldn't trust anything other than a prime Gonzalez, though (25-34, though that might be too generous). Good defense, though, for a left fielder.

GVOLTT fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Oct 10, 2013

# ? Oct 10, 2013 21:08

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

Pick 'em: Guacamole $1.39 extra
Champs retain

# ? Oct 10, 2013 21:15

IceMole: Aug 1, 2009

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

I approve the trading of the box for a SL gauntlet bye. Icemole and mks5000, please post to that effect.

I concur.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 21:17

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Pick 'em: Subway makes guacamole look like tasty lime sherbet, but it's not. It's not lime sherbet at all

Strickland Propane stops being the Super League's Lex Luger and wins the Heavyweight title. All other champs retain!

# ? Oct 10, 2013 21:23

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Well let's shuffle things up then:

Carlton and Viola switch places and Gibson moves to the minors in place of Faber who becomes my 5th starter.

Pick 'em

All champs retain.

# ? Oct 10, 2013 22:22

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

Intercontinental Title
Walney Rakers (c) @ Haukness Mad Knights

Television Title
Louisville Muggers @ New World Symphony (c)

Canadian Title
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Rockford Losers (c) @ Rochester Generics

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Strickland Propane

# ? Oct 10, 2013 22:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 19:13

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

CraigK, I would still be interested in your Randy Johnson

# ? Oct 10, 2013 22:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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