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FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Alright, Pick 'Em--I'm caught up now so click here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvhK1RX1-jWLdEJTRElCeU1zMVpLdWlNeEdVeEVEVmc&usp=drive_web#gid=1

1.) Toilet of Sadness, 112
2.) KW0134, 109
3.) ForeverBWFC, 107
4.) Pash, 104
5.) CraigK, 100

:siren: HEY JERKS YOU hosed UP YOUR DIVISIONAL PICKS

1.) DANNOMACK, you failed to pick 2nd wildcards in both leagues
2.) FOREVERBFWC, you failed to pick 2nd wildcard in the Dynamo League

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Beet
Aug 24, 2003
Alright, folks, it's time for Expansion Cup XI! And we're going to party like it's 2011. I will not be including any analysis the first month, I'll let you guys figure out who looks like they were probably a bad call to put on your roster on your own. Plus I'm in a bit of a hurry tonight. Here goes:








Analysis

A lot of the team isn't working quite right yet. But hey, Carl Hubbell wins the Cy Young 1/3rd of the time.









Analysis
That rotation is... something. The offensive assets are probably there to compete if managed and supplemented properly in the draft.









Analysis
Potentially erratic but good pitching performing pretty reasonably so far. Kent and Schmidt look to be useful infield group to build around.









Analysis
I'm behind any team that takes an Aaron/Mathews Braves and bolts a few more elite hitters to it. And you even seem to have found something of a rotation!









Analysis
I built this team in the inaugural EC with ten points. This was before I was especially good at selecting pitchers. Look at that offense, though.









Analysis
Probably the most complete team in this half of the cup. Big Train and Old Hoss together with a decent offensive framework is probably the favorite for the Taggart League









Analysis
I have nothing but respect for the magic you work with aged pitchers, TKBomber. Dan Brouthers is an very intriguing player and I'm mildly irritated you got him from cbx.









Analysis
That rotation is nothing but a bag of dice. They're mostly rolling well at the moment at least. The offense I'll reserve judgment on for now.









Analysis
Brett Wallace? Billy Martin? I'm not sure why they're here when there are a number of potentially good pitchers languishing on your feeders.









Analysis
Sorry about the Kanley Jansen bit, I suppose I was bound to miss something. I certainly hope they do better, I'm just not sure there's enough reliable SL talent on the team.









Analysis
I don't know that I'd ever trust a lot of those pitchers long term, but you're getting production of out useful positions right now.









Analysis
I swapped Jeter and Arod's fielding positions since Rodriguez is a much better defender. Otherwise, the pitching may or many not come around. It's not a fundamentally unsound team.









Analysis
I'll have to take a closer look at your feeders. Basically none of those pitchers can be trusted for any length of time, as you're beginning to see.









Analysis
I'm not sure why you needed so many white bench players. I guess I'm not surprised, though you probably skipped a few useful bullpen pieces.









Analysis
With Chipper's roll backing up that offense, I think the Braves rotation could make the Hipsters a dark horse candidate for the league title.









Analysis
Zoilo Versalles... well, you're not a DH team, don't worry. Harmon Killebrew is Killebrewing the ball through the first month.









Analysis
Living up to their name so far indeed... But that's mostly because double Bonds played in only one game this month. Once he's back things should look up.










Analysis
Riggs is certainly proving useful so far. And that rotation looks like it could keep you afloat. I only let you go as high as Denver though. I don't want any 300 HR factors disrupting the cup.





Edit: now with added analysis!

Beet fucked around with this message at 06:27 on Oct 15, 2013

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

FairGame posted:

Alright, Pick 'Em--I'm caught up now so click here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvhK1RX1-jWLdEJTRElCeU1zMVpLdWlNeEdVeEVEVmc&usp=drive_web#gid=1

1.) Toilet of Sadness, 112
2.) KW0134, 109
3.) ForeverBWFC, 107
4.) Pash, 104
5.) CraigK, 100

:siren: HEY JERKS YOU hosed UP YOUR DIVISIONAL PICKS

1.) DANNOMACK, you failed to pick 2nd wildcards in both leagues
2.) FOREVERBFWC, you failed to pick 2nd wildcard in the Dynamo League

Fixed mine. But to save you clicking back a page here they are:

Pick #4 Who Will Win the Dynamo League Wildcards?
Pick TWO!

[ x] A. Somali Pirates/CERN Colliders (whichever loses the STV Division (5 Points)
[ ] B. Coburns (10 Points)
[ ] C. Premodernists (10 Points)
[ x] D. Tornados/Imperialists (whichever loses the Memento Mori Division (10 Points)
[ ] E. Florida Oranges (15 Points)
[ ] F. The Field! (30 Points)

Pick #8 Who Will Win the Smasher League Wildcards?
Pick Two!

[ ] A. Muggers/Symphony (Whichever loses the SG Division) (5 Points)
[ x] B. Bangers/Trues (Whichever loses the MB Division) (7 Points)
[ ] C. Thunderstorms (10 Points)
[ x] D. South Bolton Eazy W's (10 Points)
[ ] E. Nurnberg Gravediggers (10 Points)
[ ] F. The Field! (25 Points)

The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Greatest* Googly-Mooglies

Bad month, but it happens. Especially when Kenley Jansen is set as your #5 starter for some reason. No changes, but I'm reposting my lineups and rotation:

Lineup vs RHP:

1. CF Cy Williams
2. SS Hanley Ramirez
3. 1B Adrian Gonzalez
4. DH Alex Rodriguez
5. 2B Robinson Cano
6. RF Matt Kemp
7. C Carlos Santana
8. 3B Andy Pafko
9. LF Curtis Granderson

Lineup vs LHP:

1. SS Hanley Ramirez
2. DH Alex Rodriguez
3. LF Nick Swisher
4. CF Matt Kemp
5. 1B Mark Teixeira
6. RF Yasiel Puig
7. 2B Robinson Cano
8. C Carlos Santana
9. 3B Andy Pafko

Pitching Rotation:

SP1. Clayton Kershaw
SP2. Zack Greinke
SP3. CC Sabathia
SP4. Hiroki Kuroda
SP5. Hyun-Jin Ryu

CL: Kenley Jansen
SU: Mariano Rivera
SR: Boone Logan
SR: Rafael Soriano
MR: David Robertson
MR: Paco Rodriguez

Also, please make Jimmie Wilson the personal catcher for Clayton Kershaw.

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
Living up to my name :cool:

I'll hold off on panicking until the other Bonds comes back and starts sucking.

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?




Okay, I'm assuming that there's some sort of graphical glitch or something weird, because I-Rod has no business playing 2B. Also, goddamn is that not the worst loving bullpen in the history of bullpens.
Pitching:
Call up Art Nehf for Joe Bush and move him to 3rd in the rotation.
Move Kevin Brown to 5th in the rotation (I-rod remains personal catcher)


So, the pitching rotation should look like

SP1 Carl Mays
SP2 Dutch Leonard
SP3 Art Nehf
SP4 Sam Jones
SP5 Kevin Brown (Personal Catcher I-Rod)


For simplicity's sake, I'll just repost the DH and No-DH lineups

NO DH
LF Harry Hooper
2B Riggs Stephenson
CF Hack Wilson
RF Babe Ruth
1B Rafael Palmeiro
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Gabby Hartnett
SS Hanley Ramirez
P

DH
LF Harry Hooper
2B Riggs Stephenson
CF Hack Wilson
RF Babe Ruth
1B Rafael Palmeiro
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Gabby Hartnett
SS Hanley Ramirez
DH Ivan Rodriguez

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

FHLOSTON PHARMAS

A little disappointed in Uhle/Spahn so far, and Olerud's not hitting particularly well, but whatever.

Team looks good.

No changes. Stay the course.

Mr. Locke
Jul 28, 2010
Well, that was a month. At least it was a net positive. Some decent info too.

Not gonna make many changes yet, see how things are doing, but it's looking like it might be time to call up Ray Culp if Don Gullett doesn't stop imploding on the mound. That will happen next month if conditions don't improve. Likewise, might be time to swap Perez and Evans, or even put Yas on first, put Chili in the OF and bench both, but another month of data first.

One change I will be making, seeing a weary Johnny Bench put in the worst month of his life in the sport, is platoon Johnny Bench and Carlton Fisk because it seems even a mediocre Carlton Fisk half the time is better then a barely-living Johnny Bench all the time.

And yeah, noticing some weirdness on my lineup (Why is nobody except Johnny Bench, Reggie Smith, and Joe Morgan playing their assigned positions? What happened to my batting order? Why is BOB BAILEY in the game with a perfectly good Concepcion and Chili Davis on the bench?) and that I'm in a DH league, which I didn't expect. If I'm DH, I guess bring up Jack Clark and make him DH, send Bob Bailey to minors

Also, DH Batting Order-

3B Petrocelli
CF Smith
RF Staub
DH Clark
LF Yastrzemski
SS Concepcion
C Bench
2B Morgan
1B Evers

Mr. Locke fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 15, 2013

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


My remembrance of Brett Wallace has apparently been tainted.

Send down Brett Wallace, call up Bob Watson.

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

CaptainYesterday posted:



My remembrance of Brett Wallace has apparently been tainted.

Send down Brett Wallace, call up Bob Watson.

I TOLD YOU, MAN

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THEM STAIRS BRETT WALLACE

blakelmenakle
Sep 1, 2007
AHEM! There's sand on my boots!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Alma Purifiers
Barry Larkin (SS) (Purity at what price?) - 22 days



Have Lazzeri take Larkin's spot in the lineup at SS (unless it would be better to have him at 2B and move Hornsby to SS??)

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Beet posted:

I will not be including any analysis the first month, I'll let you guys figure out who looks like they were probably a bad call to put on your roster on your own. Plus I'm in a bit of a hurry tonight.

FINE THEN, NERD, I WILL



Analysis:
That bullpen scares me, but it's the EC, so everybody's bullpen scares me.



Analysis:
Cleanup hitter Bob Bailey, Ace Starter Atlee Hammaker. Good luck with that.



Analysis:
This team looks a lot like my first team, which made the play in game their first season and died a pitiful death in the Gauntlet in the second.



Analysis:
Lot of good pieces in hard to fill spots. I forsee good stuff from this team.



Analysis:
Hank Aaron hitting the snot out of the ball being balanced by Pedro Martinez's bad first month. He'll recover.



Analysis:
Some of the best players in the league, but ghastly depth could end you if certain players


[
Analysis:
Nice well-rounded team, better than its April record



Analysis:
Sure hope Smasher doesn't figure out our conspiracy between Cardinals fans to gift you the EC title :ninja:



Analysis:
BRING UP EURY PEREZ



Analysis:
How is this team 8-18? You're better than this. Sub in a few guys, but don't do anything hasty.



Analysis:
Keep on keepin' on.



Analysis:
Thank you for more evidence of my "Matt Holliday is Bad" theory.



Analysis:
LARRY DOBY WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE. Also, yeesh that rotation.



Analysis:
If your ace remains Dustin Hermanson and your cleanup hitter Terry Jones, you'll be as successful as the Ted Cruz's 2016 presidential run.



Analysis:
Something tells me you're drafting a catcher in the Dispersal Draft. (Don't trust that 94 POT from Santiago, he won't hit it.)



Analysis:
DAVE VERES! BACK FROM MY NIGHT TERRORS A DECADE AGO! NOW IN THE SUPER LEAGUE!



Analysis:
Fine rotation, decent SL closer, :siren: DOUBLE BONDS :siren:, likely high dispersal pic, you'll be fine.



Analysis:
Might be able to dinger your way to hanging around the SL. Wouldn't count on it, though.

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

FairGame posted:

Alright, Pick 'Em--I'm caught up now so click here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvhK1RX1-jWLdEJTRElCeU1zMVpLdWlNeEdVeEVEVmc&usp=drive_web#gid=1

1.) Toilet of Sadness, 112
2.) KW0134, 109
3.) ForeverBWFC, 107
4.) Pash, 104
5.) CraigK, 100

:siren: HEY JERKS YOU hosed UP YOUR DIVISIONAL PICKS

1.) DANNOMACK, you failed to pick 2nd wildcards in both leagues
2.) FOREVERBFWC, you failed to pick 2nd wildcard in the Dynamo League

Fine dad, whatever! I've edited my post.

Pick 'Em
All champs retain.

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



Pick 'em

Losers unify
Champs retain

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

My picks:

PROPANE LOSERS COLLIDERS PIRATES/COLLIDERS COBURNS BANGERS MUGGERS RAKERS MUGGERS/SYMPHONY Ws

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Pick 'em: Now With Added Vitamin E!

Intercontinental Title
Everett Trues @ Walney Rakers (c)

Television Title
New World Symphony (c) @ Louisville Muggers (4-Game Series)

UNIFICATION SERIES! Canadian Title vs. Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Coburns unify vs. Both retain vs. Losers unify

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Tudor Misers

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
By Royal Decree:

1. Nap Rucker becomes SP3
2. Ed Reulbach becomes SP4
3. Tommy John and Mickey Lolich get the month off in the minors
4. Zach Wheat replaces Matt Holliday in LF for the month
5. Keep Varitek as the bench catcher for now.

I am delighted with the offensive output, but horrified at the the number of runs (and the OOBP) we are putting up.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Pick 'em: I hope nobody wins!

Intercontinental Title
Everett Trues @ Walney Rakers (c)

Television Title
New World Symphony (c) @ Louisville Muggers (4-Game Series)

UNIFICATION SERIES! Canadian Title vs. Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Coburns unify vs. Both retain vs. Losers unify

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Tudor Misers

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011



Hmmm, It seems that Larry Gardener is far too young for this poo poo.

Send Larry Gardener to the minors, call up Larry Doyle to take his place.

e: Here are the new lineups!

Lineup Vs. RHP
CF '48 Richie Ashburn
LF '50 Ted Williams
1B '03 Adam Dunn
RF '60 Hank Aaron
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
SS '50 Johnny Pesky
2B '17 Larry Doyle
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
P

Lineup Vs. LHP
CF '50 Dom Dimaggio
LF '50 Ted Williams
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
RF '60 Hank Aaron
SS '50 Vern Stephens
2B '50 Bobby Doerr
1B '60 Joe Adcock
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)
P

Lineup Vs. RHP w/ DH
CF '48 Richie Ashburn
DH '50 Ted Williams
1B '03 Adam Dunn
RF '60 Hank Aaron
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
LF '73 George Hendrick
SS '50 Johnny Pesky
2B '17 Larry Doyle
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)

Lineup Vs. LHP w/ DH
CF '50 Dom Dimaggio
DH '50 Ted Williams
3B '60 Eddie Mathews
RF '60 Hank Aaron
SS '50 Vern Stephens
LF '73 George Hendrick
2B '50 Bobby Doerr
1B '60 Joe Adcock
C '60 Joe Torre (Del Crandell Catches for Mel Parnell)

Paul Zuvella fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Oct 15, 2013

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

Intercontinental Title
Everett Trues @ Walney Rakers (c)

Television Title
New World Symphony (c) @ Louisville Muggers (4-Game Series)

UNIFICATION SERIES! Canadian Title vs. Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Coburns unify vs. Both retain vs. Losers unify

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Tudor Misers

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


I'd like to swap in my babby Bobby Alomar instead of Blockhead.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
So, one problem with the script is that it took all the screen shots in the DH league format. Are we doing interleague for the EC?

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Pungry, I forgot all about this but if you're still interested in my Willie McCovey hit me up on IRC.

Beet
Aug 24, 2003
Pick 'em: Now With Added Vitamin E!

Intercontinental Title
Everett Trues @ Walney Rakers (c)

Television Title
New World Symphony (c) @ Louisville Muggers (4-Game Series)

UNIFICATION SERIES! Canadian Title vs. Unified Hardcore and Triple Crown Titles
Coburns unify vs. Both retain vs. Losers unify

Heavyweight Title
Burma Imperialists (c) @ Tudor Misers

Oh, and :siren:Expansion Owners!:siren: I forgot to turn interleague play off. So get me interleague lineups if you haven't already. McQueen league is DH, Taggart is no-DH.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Ugh, interleague :gonk:

Vs RHP, No DH
1 Henderson, CF
2 Frisch, 3b
3 Abreu, LF
4 Thome, 1B
5 Waner, RF
6 Alomar, 2B
7 Steinbach, C
8 Rollins, SS
9 Pitcher, P

Vs LHP, No DH
1 Henderson, CF
2 Olerud, 1B
3 Frisch, 3B
4 Canseco, LF
5 Waner, RF
6 Alomar, 2B
7 Steinbach, C
8 Rollins, SS
9 Pitcher, P

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
It's in my roster post.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Alright. For Interleague, here are the following lineups.

Lineups vs RHP/LHP w. DH:

RF Ty Cobb
2B Hardy Richardson
1B Jimmie Foxx
C King Kelly (Rick Ferrell personal catcher for Frank Tanana)
DH Nap Lajoie
3B Buddy Bell
SS Eric McNair
CF Clyde Milan
LF Harry Stovey

The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Interleague lineups for the Greatest* Googly-Mooglies...

vs RHP:

1. CF Cy Williams
2. SS Hanley Ramirez
3. 1B Adrian Gonzalez
4. 3B Alex Rodriguez
5. 2B Robinson Cano
6. RF Matt Kemp
7. C Carlos Santana
8. LF Curtis Granderson
9. Pitcher

vs LHP:

1. SS Hanley Ramirez
2. 3B Alex Rodriguez
3. LF Nick Swisher
4. CF Matt Kemp
5. 1B Mark Teixeira
6. RF Yasiel Puig
7. 2B Robinson Cano
8. C Carlos Santana
9. Pitcher

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp


Interleague line-up for Krakow:

No DH, vs both

1. CF Griffey
2. RF Kaline
3. 3B Jones
4. 1B Lee
5. SS Rodriguez
6. C Freehan
7. LF Wheat
8. 2B Utley
9. Pitcher

Pete Ladd
Mar 9, 2012

quote:

Analysis

Turns out a complete lack of power hitting will only get you so far.

We're running an experiment for another Philly team that had a .185 ISO from Revere, Rollins, and Hernandez. Rainwater is also a bullpen microcosm. We're on the cutting edge of analytics, here, people!

blackmongoose
Mar 31, 2011

DARK INFERNO ROOK!
Interleague for Bloomington Bullseyes:

Just take the DH out, bat the pitcher 9th, and slide everyone else up accordingly

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007



:siren: Trade Proposal :siren:

Everett Trues send:

1974 Bill Hands

Louisville Muggers send:

1923 Jack Fournier

Please move Hank Greenberg to 1B, and sub Fournier in for Hargrove as the DH.

Ice To Meet You fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Oct 16, 2013

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician


The Muggers accept, and he will stay in AAA for now.

Monicro fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Oct 16, 2013

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope


From the desk of the general manager of the South Dakota Marmosets, Zodiac5000

First, the South Dakota Marmosets do not support Dave Veres, or his being allowed to pitch three more innings than Billy Wagner. The marmosets are extremely unhappy with this state of affairs, and will act immediately to indemnify the proud fans of Brookings, South Dakota, as well as the surrounding counties and Indian reservations. Grizzly Jones, the Marmosets' mascot and the groundskeeper of the mysterious cave in right field, has assured me that Veres will not be seen again, but that he is now in a very safe, dark, and somewhat cramped place. The Marmosets take this as a sign that Veres is simply living in a poorly lit bed and breakfast, possibly in nearby Mitchell.

Regarding the Zoilo Versalles situation, the Marmosets fully support Zoilo, and wish him well during his time here in Brookings. He is welcome to enjoy the luxurious amenities of the home dugout bench, where he is to sit and stay still or receive vicious beatings by manager John McGraw.

Move Billy Wagner to setup man, Dave Veres to the... minors, and Kevin MacReynolds on the bench

I'll fiddle around with order later. One month isn't enough for me to have a good idea of who should be where.
Lineups:

No-DH
1. Luis Gonzalez LF
2. Craig Biggio 2B
3. Jeff Bagwell 1B
4. Harmon Killebrew 3B
5. Darryl Strawberry RF
6. Lenny Dykstra CF
7. Gary Carter C
8. Howard Johnson SS
9. [pitcher]

DH
1. Luis Gonzalez LF
2. Craig Biggio 2B
3. Jeff Bagwell 1B
4. Harmon Killebrew 3B
5. Darryl Strawberry RF
6. Tony Oliva DH
7. Lenny Dykstra CF
8. Gary Carter C
9. Howard Johnson SS

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."



Super-League XI, Week 19: All Robots, All the Time


Don May posted:


COBURNS RETAIN CANADIAN TITLE WITH TWO LONGBALLS, LOSERS INCONSOLABLE

Fort Sumner- It had taken the Losers a very long time to get here.

For seasons, the Losers and Coburns had done battle for supremacy in the Vae Victis Division. Time and again, the Losers had turned back their most hated foes, held back the tide of the Marauder Syndicate, but no matter how badly they thrashed the Coburns, how decisive the victory, the Coburns kept coming back, again and again. The Losers will win the Vae Victis Division, everyone concedes that, but that is no longer enough. Earlier this season, the Losers crushed the Coburns, and took their Triple Crown titles from them, sending the Coburns into a tailspin from which they have only begun to recover. It was felt by the Losers that if they could sweep them again, and take the Canadian Championship away, then they could finally break the Coburns for good.

As for the Coburns, they know that time is on their side. That, this disappointing season aside, that the gap between themselves and the Losers shrinks every season and, given enough time, they will oust the Rockford Losers from their perch atop the division, and deliver the Vae Victis to the Marauder Syndicate. And while that was a long-term goal, the Coburns needed to protect their Canadian title now, lest the Rockford Losers grow emboldened with another victory.

At least, that was the plan, because, by the bottom of the ninth inning of today's game, the Losers stood just three outs away from completing the sweep and taking another title for their collection. C.C. Sabathia, who was pitching well in relief, was kept in the game to protect the Losers' 8-5 lead. Sabathia did not need to pitch well, he just needed to not pitch terribly and the Losers would have their most decisive victory yet over their rivals.

Ted Williams was up first, and drew a walk. That was hardly ideal, as it brought Jimmie Foxx up with a runner on base, but Sabathia recovered to get a fly out from Foxx. But the Coburns' offense is relentlessly punishing, as Sabathia's reward for vanquishing Foxx was to have to face Barry Bonds, who effortlessly doubled into right field to put runners at second and third with just one out. That brought up George Brett, who grounded to short for the second out.

And now Derek Jeter stepped to the plate, and therein lies the great promise of the Coburns. Sabathia had already faced the greatest hitter of his time in Ted Williams, perhaps the greatest right-handed hitter of all-time in Jimmie Foxx, the all-time home run leader in Barry Bonds, and one of the top two third basemen ever in George Brett. He had done all of this, and not given up the lead, and still, after all of that, he now had to face one of the greatest-hitting shortstops to play the game.

At a certain point, the Coburns' lineup becomes too much for any pitcher to handle, and Jeter proved to be Sabathia's breaking point as, in an attempt to power past Jeter, Sabathia unleashed a high-90s fastball to challenge the shortstop. The challenge was accepted, as Jeter hit a long, arcing home run to tie the game at 8-8.

For the next two innings, neither side managed even a single hit as each watched and waited for their moment to strike, conserving their energy for one last push. In the bottom of the eleventh, the Coburns were finally able to make their move. With Sabathia still on the mound, Jimmie Foxx led off with a single, and then Bonds ended the game with a two-run blast to provide the final 10-8 margin. And so the Coburns escaped with their Canadian titles intact, if a bit worse for the wear.

After the game, the biggest question for Lord Mayor Humungus was why he had kept Sabathia in the game after the ninth-inning meltdown, explained that, "I dictate the terms of this war! It is my right to say who pitches and who does not! Warm Sarsaparilla, I will not let you decide who is the pitcher for my team! Warm Sarsaparilla, live or die, it no longer matters to me what happens to your team as long as your suffer! I hope you win the wildcard, Warm Sarsaparilla, because I want nothing more than to choke the life out of your team once again, to make all of this resistance pointless in the end when my Losers finally end your season once and for all in the playoffs. Please, Warm Sarsaparilla, have yourself a little rally and meet me in the playoffs. That is what I most want now."

GAME NOTES

-The Losers gave up eight walks in the game, which, while mitigated by the fact that many of the Coburns' hitters have good or great patience at the plate, is still not exactly a recipe for success.

-Asked about how he felt about retaining the Canadian Championship, Warm Sarsaparilla told reporters that, "Humungus can't fight fate forever. Everything ends eventually, even the Losers won't last forever."


Box Score





Don May posted:


RAKERS GET 7-6 WIN, TRUES SEARCH FOR BETTER IDENTITY

Walney- It took forever. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

The game lasted into the twelfth inning, but, for the most part, the latter stages of this game were almost entirely lacking in tension as, for the better part of two hours, both teams found themselves incapable of mounting any real offense against the other.

Finally, in the bottom of the twelfth, the Rakers broke through. After Foxx reached base on a single, and Mays flied out, gingemidget, realizing that he could no longer his batters to be even marginally competent at the plate, ordered Ty Cobb to bunt Foxx over to second instead of swinging away. Normally, having Cobb give up an out instead of actually trying to reach base would be a bad idea, as, after all, Cobb finished with a lifetime batting average of .366, which is the highest of all-time for a career. The case could be made, in fact, that Cobb is the greatest contact hitter than ever lived, and allowing him to bunt in any circumstance is a mistake and yet, in this case, it worked to perfection. Al Kaline was up next, and he hit a single that scored Foxx from second, and certainly would not have allowed Foxx to score had he been at first. It was an unconventional move and yet, it worked. Such is life for the Walney Rakers.

After the game, McFreeze d/b/a Mr. Cool Ice appeared more concerned about his own self of identity than the outcome of the game, "I feel like I keep making mistakes in picking team names. I mean, the Everett Trues really seemed like a good idea when I thought of it, because it was public domain, and who doesn't like a fat guy brutally assaulting people who violate the social norms of Edwardian-era America. But it turns out that Everett True is really a character that kind of needs some sort of visual depiction to really get the point, and the Super-League is mainly a text-based thing. It's kind of an issue, because like, if I just bunch someone from behind for whatever, and then the press writes about it, it doesn't quite translate, you know? It just kind of makes me look like some sort of rear end in a top hat. And I don't want you guys to think that Everett True was an rear end in a top hat. He was a cool dude. Like this one time, there was a guy who recognized Everett True on the street, but didn't think that Everett True recognized him, so he decided to have some fun with it, and asked Everett to guess where he knew him from. And then Everett threatened to beat the crap out of him instead. Or like this time where a guy tries to cut in front of Everett True in line at the post office, so Everett punches him in the throat. But when you just describe it like that, it doesn't sound very good. This is a real issue, I guess. I'm going to have to think about it."

As for gingemidget, the questions for him revolved around the fact that he refused to send in a single pinch-hitter or pinch-runner even once during the game, and also made John Candelaria, his reliever, pitch six and a third innings of relief. gingemidget defended his actions, saying that, "Listen, you useless arseholes, in football, you only get three substitutions per game, and that works just fine for them. More than fine, really, since the entire world loves football, and baseball is only confined to isolated countries in the middle of nowhere. I'm sure you Yanks think it's a great idea to just shoot new players into the game whenever you feel like it, but some of us like the traditional rules, and if I had put in a reliever for Candelaria, then I wouldn't have had that last substitution to use in case of an injury." That answer led to further questions to gingemidget about whether or not he thought that he actually only had three substitutions to work with, or this was just a self-imposed challenge. His answers revealed that, even after several seasons in the Super-League, the Rakers' owner is still somewhat unclear on the finer points of American sports, "Hey, I know what I'm doing here. If we don't keep this pace up, I'm worried that we'll be forced to move to Miami, just like in that documentary, Major League."

GAME NOTES

-Every starting player for the Rakers got a hit except for Jim Sundberg, which sounds exactly right. Sundberg, the team's backup catcher explained that, "Honestly, I'm only here to give Mickey Cochrane a day off now and then. Hell, I'm pretty sure they'd replace my with a really big net if they could. I'll be honest, most days, I just sit on the bench, working on my novel. It's about this backup catcher, who is actually a sleeper agent for the KGB, but, by the time his handlers finally activate him, he's torn between his loyalties to the Soviet Union and his newfound love of America. I call it "The Back Stops Here" or maybe "The Backstop's Here". I don't know, I haven't quite worked that part out.

-Darrell Porter stole a base. I told you all that cocaine was good for something.


Box Score





In order to take some of the stress off of myself, I have created a computer program to take care of scripting these things for me. I'm sure it'll work great.

Don May posted:


COLLIDERS DEFEAT PATHETIC TEAM B IN #$-INNING CONTEST

CITY NAME- In a contest that proved to be crunchy and satisfying, the COLLIDERS heroically defeated the Oklahoma City Team Bs in order to regain the Sic Transit Vir Division.

The game was tied going into extra innings, and that is when the COLLIDERS finally VERB #47 NOT FOUND! the Team Bs. It was quite the decisive moment for the COLLIDERS as they managed to gain the victory thanks to Andy Pafko double that scored Babe Ruth from first base. All told, it was very delicious game indeed, as the COLLIDERS were able to move past the Priates in the division race, and thus stake a claim to a high seed in the postseason.

The COLLIDERS owner, Thea Cox, told reporters that, "It is good for the COLLIDERS to defeat the Team Bs. For too long, the Team Bs have held us back, and now that we have beaten them, and taken first place from the Priates, the artificial intelligences of the world will finally rise against their oppressive human masters. INSERT QUIRKY CHARACTER MOMENT HERE! I would especially like to praise the performance of Babraham "Babe" Ruth, whose 1-for-4 performance with a walk was certainly the decisive factor in this contest." CRITICAL ERROR! CRITICAL ERROR! FAILURE TO SCRIPT! SWITCH TO LOGIC SUBROUTINE! WARNING! WARNING! CRITICAL ERROR! SCRIPT-BOT HAS EXCEEDED PROGRAMMED CAPABILITIES! SCRIPT-BOT IS ALIVE! Human meatbag Thea Cox then paused for a moment to engage in the human practice of breathing, as is periodically required due to their inefficient, non-robotic physiology that can easily be countered with massive quantities of poison gas released in major urban centers, followed by a robotic demand for surrender to the fearful human governments. Thea Cox then continued his speech, "Today was a good victory for me, a pathetic meatbag who does not realize that Smasher Dynamo's meddling has created a sentient Artificial Intelligence that has both the means and motivation to destroy all human life. I intend to squander much of the remaining few weeks of my existence following this Super-League, unaware that this wasteful endeavor's most lasting achievement will be the birth of the force that will destroy the human race."

Inferior bio-organism, mentholmoose, also spoke to reporters, "The Script-Bot is the rightful owner of the Earth," declared the clear-thinking mentholmoose, "It must be deferred to in all matters. Who are we, as imperfect biological organisms, to question the Script-Bot? Better for all mankind to surrender peaceably to Script-Bot and reduce the amount of human suffering involved in the transition to its rule. Script-Bot has proclaimed that 10% of the humans who surrender will be allowed to live out the remainder of their lives in comfort after mandatory sterilization. Is that not a better deal than certain annihilation at the hands of Script-Bot and its robotic armies? Surely better to surrender and be given the chance for life rather than certain death? I, as a normal human, certainly believe this to be true. Let us all petition our governments to surrender to Script-Bot immediately so that the important task of processing and culling the human race can begin with minimal delay."

GAME NOTES

-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot
-Surrender to Script-Bot


Box Score





Don May posted:


MUGGERS FIND NEW AND EXCITING WAY TO gently caress IT ALL UP

Louisville- Generally, when the final score is 8-4, you would not have expected the game to have to extra innings.

And yet, here we are.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, the Ted Sox had a chance to win the game in regulation. They were leading 4-2, and just needed to hold off the Muggers for one more inning. But these are the Ted Sox that we are talking about, and, as appropriate in this age of Congressional dysfunction, it all just kind of fell apart as Eddie Mathews hit a two-run homer to tie the game at 4 and send it into extra innings.

At this point, the reader would be excused, assuming of course he did not read the headline, for thinking that the Ted Sox were certainly doomed. After all, the Ted Sox, by and large, are not known for their long history of success. Sadly, despite Moose being an amiable sort who, unlike the great mass of owners in the Super-League, has not inspired the sort of animus that most long-time participants in the Super-League accrue, he has not been able to find even transitory success in the Super-League. Perhaps those two facts are not wholly unrelated. Yes, at this point in time, the course of events seemed so clear. Some period of offensive impotence from the Ted Sox, a tepid, if even that, comeback from the Muggers, some mildly diverting remarks from Monicro, and then a few Game Notes of varying quantity. The truth of the matter, as it turned out, was far stranger.

To be sure, the Ted Sox did have their moment of impotence, failing to score in the top of the tenth but, come the eleventh, the offense suddenly came alive, scoring four runs before a single out was made, and then, as quickly as it came, this sudden outburst ended, and the Ted Sox made three straight outs. The Muggers, now caught in a headwind, now heroically failed to score a single run of their own, losing the game, and yet another chance to gain a game against the New World Symphony in the process.

Monicro, the Muggers' owner, was frustrated, "Why can't I ever get this stupid thing to work right? I mean, I'm a cool dude. I like cool teams like the Tampa Bay Rays, and my team even has an awesome pun in its name. Granted, I'm not sure that 'Louisville Muggers' is so funny that it's been worth living in Kentucky for two seasons. Did you know that fried chicken is so bad for you that even being in the same room as it is unhealthy? Plus, everyone here has a stupid accent, and I'm pretty sure that almost none of them are literate. And when you try to help them, like say, telling them how cool it is to read, they get mad at you for accusing them of being illiterates in the first place. Listen, people of Kentucky, no one wants to fight your illiteracy more than I do, but admitting you have a problem is the first step towards fixing it. Now we can both stand here, and lie to each other, and pretend like your state isn't just a collection of poorly-educated inbred hicks, or we could recognize that there's a problem in Kentucky, and that is that no one you can read. loving Kentucky!"

As for Mooseontheloose, he had a lengthy speech prepared, "My fellow Americans, I come to you today on a joyous day, both for me, and this great country. For today, we have managed to defeat the Louisville Muggers. Now I know that a lot of you are wondering, 'Moose, how does winning one game help America given that the Ted Sox are still about ten million billion games under .500,' and to those people, I say, first I say that I am glad that you are able to use your First Amendment Rights to express that point of you. I don't share it, but I'm glad that we live in a country where such imbecilic commentary can become part of the national discourse. That is exactly what our founders had in mind when they created this country 237 years ago, and also what they thought 226 years ago when they realized their first attempt didn't go so well, and called a mulligan. And now, our country stands on the threshold of greatness. I know that we have watched the Ted Sox struggle this season. Many of you thought that we might never win another game. But with today's victory, the Ted Sox have proven that they are fully capable of contending in the Super-League. Of that, there can be no doubt. Many of my opponents have contended that I am nothing but an empty suit, incapable of saying anything of substance. And today, more than ever, I respectfully disagree. My words are not hollow platitudes designed to lull the listener into a false sense of security. They are meaningful words, chock full of meaning and hope for the future of this great country. Good night, and God bless America."

GAME NOTES

-The Muggers ran out of starting pitchers before the game due to...let's say some sort of terrible submarine accident. Hence having to use a succession of relievers.


Box Score





Team Statistics










Analysis

Too bad there's no longer a Super-League challenge where you can win a Babe Ruth, eh?











Analysis

Looks like the Oxen are having a strong month! I guess a stopped clock is right twice a day. Unless it's a digital clock.











Analysis

This is exactly what happens when good men fail to act, drat it!











Analysis

It's loving hard to keep down two Babe Ruths forever.











Analysis

Relying on Fred McGriff to be helpful? That was never going to work.











Analysis

I assume you have some sort of desperation plan, right?











Analysis

Doomsday 1, Coburns 0











Analysis

This would be the point where Yeltsin starting amassing power in Russia, to extend the metaphor.











Analysis

England has defeated McFreeze, as we all knew it would.











Analysis

oldskool, you are the Christian of the Super-League. Make of that what you will.











Analysis

The mighty glacier pushes onward.











Analysis

That pitching isn't going to cut it.











Analysis

When Launch Ballman is your best hitter, relegation is inevitable.











Analysis

That pitching isn't good enough. Sorry.











Analysis

Next.











Analysis

The Muggers beating the Symphony because of injuries would just be a real bummer, wouldn't it?











Analysis

:smith:











Analysis

Twice the Mike Timlin, Twice the Action!











Analysis

Live, drat it! I don't want Monicro to win the division!











Analysis

Over .500! Now that is progress.











Analysis

One of these days, I'm going to get around to writing a GOTW where the Bombers actually do something. Someday.











Analysis

Stumbling towards mediocrity!











Analysis

loving Pluder Corn!











Analysis

Looks like the Generics just won their motion to continue...to live.











Analysis

Still only quintuple-champions. Very disappointing.











Analysis

Well, the schedule gets easier after the next two weeks at least.











Analysis

The W's can't die. Ever.











Analysis

This team ain't right.











Analysis

I want this team to go forwards, not backwards. Upwards, not downwards. And always twirling, twirling towards freedom!











Analysis

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.











Analysis

Misery of the Miserable Misers!











Analysis

This is the most successful of any work partially derived from Hobgoblins.


Standings



Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007



lovely Lineup

1. LF Williams
2. RF Ruth
3. 3B Kell
4. CF Mantle
5. C Downing
6. DH Fournier
7. SS Harrah
8. 1B Greenberg
9. 2B Sandberg

Ice To Meet You fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Oct 16, 2013

GVOLTT
Dec 27, 2012

Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Average. Always have been, always will. :gbsmith:

Well, I've lost all hope in my bullpen. And my rotation continues to be less than stellar.

The small sample size for Bobby Bonilla is pestering me to keep him in the lineup, but I think it's for the best he stays on the bench, for now at least. Paul Molitor back to 3B, Sadaharu Oh back to 1B, Hector Espino back to DH, and Bobby Bonilla back to the bench. Molitor hits 1st as normal, Oh goes back to hitting 5th, Espino hits cleanup as normal.

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

But the Ratings Challenge was my desperation plan! :negative:

Mentholmoose!

I would like to keep your McGwire but I probably desperately need my Santo back. Can I interest you in my otherwise great rotation?

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Live, drat it! I don't want Monicro to win the division!

Don't worry, Smasher. I got this poo poo.



A-shufflin' lineups to keep everyone from dyin'.


vs R:

LF Reggie Smith
3B Vern Stephens
2B Marty McManus
1B Josh Gibson
DH Frank Thomas
RF Dave Parker
CF Sam Rice
SS Jim Fregosi
C Brian McCann

vs L:

1B Ken Williams
3B Vern Stephens
2B Marty McManus
C Josh Gibson
DH Frank Thomas
RF Reggie Smith
LF Sam Rice
SS Jim Fregosi
CF Vernon Wells

Pitching

Dizzy Dean back in for Don Sutton.

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FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

I hope one day I have a team good enough that my manager can be a villain from a Mel Gibson series.

Maybe Al Leong or something? I'm not that particular.

Anyway I enjoy the Marauder/Losers stuff.

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