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Ivan Shitskin
Nov 29, 2002

Joementum posted:

Right wing radio preacher Kevin Swanson knows what the ladies like: Barack Obama :whatup:

Unfortunately, they like him so much that they are all becoming lesbians and attending the Girls Scouts convention.


And that's why he is demanding a boycott of Girl Scout cookies, or at the very least insisting that you use a magic market to black out all the symbols on their packages, which are ungodly. Any questions?

But I thought we already had a communist in the White House.

I always liked those chocolate minty Girl Scout cookies. Maybe I will put off hanging myself for a while and buy more Girl Scout cookies so I can see Communist America 2020. gently caress yeah.

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Star Man
Jun 1, 2008

There's a star maaaaaan
Over the rainbow

I'm of the opinion that hitting F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming would be a better strategic target than the nuclear silo. You know, to take out a bunch of aircraft and stuff instead of a muclear missile silo. But that's just, like, my opinion.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

Star Man posted:

I'm of the opinion that hitting F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming would be a better strategic target than the nuclear silo. You know, to take out a bunch of aircraft and stuff instead of a muclear missile silo. But that's just, like, my opinion.

We'll give you a call after we create our next Communist super-power.

Listerine
Jan 5, 2005

Exquisite Corpse

Star Man posted:

I'm of the opinion that hitting F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming would be a better strategic target than the nuclear silo. You know, to take out a bunch of aircraft and stuff instead of a muclear missile silo. But that's just, like, my opinion.

The little red streak that runs through New Hampshire isn't because anyone gives a poo poo about that state, it's because the FAA has a center there that covers all radar traffic in the northeast. The logic behind priorities for nuke strikes may not always be obvious.

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
I think it's worth noting that the map is a very optimistic assessment of the potential damage that assumes that the vast majority of Soviet ICBM's are intercepted and the US decisively wins the war.

And I'm STILL in the thickest red zone on the map. :negative:

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

We need to do a cold war/nuclear thread one day.

I have no idea where, but drat if that's a topic I wouldn't want to ask more questions about.

HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

FuzzySkinner posted:

We need to do a cold war/nuclear thread one day.

I have no idea where, but drat if that's a topic I wouldn't want to ask more questions about.

Cold War Neverthread: The Greatest Generation owes me a nuclear holocaust.
EDIT
Alternatively: Great Clancy's Ghost!

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
In which Alex Jones makes fun of conspiracy theorists.

Phone
Jul 30, 2005

親子丼をほしい。
The Conspiracy subforum was reopened recently... It's conspiracies all the way down, man.

eggsovereasy
May 6, 2011

So there is a local talk radio guy here in Nashville who has his own theme song and all of you should listen to it, because it's just amazing :allears:

I recorded it on my phone on the way to work so please excuse the poor quality.

The big name local guy here though is Phil Valentine who has recently released his own, timely, debunking of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth titled An Inconsistent Truth.

He's been having people call in complementing him on how good the movie is, but I'm not convinced that all of them are actual listeners. I think there have been some shills calling in like some sort of guerrilla advertising.

mr. mephistopheles
Dec 2, 2009

Reading the reviews tells me how horseshit it is.

"Common sense 4th grade science. Carbon is life"

I've seen a lot of retarded arguments for why global warming isn't happening, but "hurf durf carbon is in everything so how can it be bad for the earth" is by far the retardedest.

Good Citizen
Aug 12, 2008

trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump

mr. mephistopheles posted:

Reading the reviews tells me how horseshit it is.

"Common sense 4th grade science. Carbon is life"

I've seen a lot of retarded arguments for why global warming isn't happening, but "hurf durf carbon is in everything so how can it be bad for the earth" is by far the retardedest.

Whenever someone pulls that I usually start ranting about how life is mostly water and drowning is a liberal myth.

mr. mephistopheles
Dec 2, 2009

Good Citizen posted:

Whenever someone pulls that I usually start ranting about how life is mostly water and drowning is a liberal myth.

That is perfect and now my go-to.

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

FuzzySkinner posted:

We need to do a cold war/nuclear thread one day.

I have no idea where, but drat if that's a topic I wouldn't want to ask more questions about.

TFR has a Cold War/Airpower thread with lots of discussion about how the missiles worked, why some things were deterrents and others caused escalation, and so on.

CarterUSM
Mar 17, 2004
Cornfield aviator

StandardVC10 posted:

TFR has a Cold War/Airpower thread with lots of discussion about how the missiles worked, why some things were deterrents and others caused escalation, and so on.

As lovely and expensive as the Cold War was, the veteran in me still gets warm fuzzies from the stuff in that thread. :allears:

az
Dec 2, 2005

If you have anxiety problems I strongly recommend you don't read too much about cold war NBC warfare protocols and the like. I know someone who did and since then he regularly wakes up with nightmares of nuclear apocalpyse, especially when there's a thunderstorm outside.

Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

mr. mephistopheles posted:

Reading the reviews tells me how horseshit it is.

"Common sense 4th grade science. Carbon is life"


beatlegs
Mar 11, 2001


:iceburn:

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

:psyduck: It doesn't get much more surreal than this, folks. Alex Jones is accusing somebody else of being a conspiracy theorist!

THE GAYEST POSTER posted:

We'll give you a call after we create our next Communist super-power.

Don't talk about our next Communist super-power! It' still in the planning phase!

Previa_fun
Nov 10, 2004

Did anyone catch the bit on Rush today where the young kid (?) called in asking something about small business and then eventually admitting she confused Rush with Mark Levin? I missed most of the conversation but the parts I heard were pretty :wtc:

ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


az posted:

If you have anxiety problems I strongly recommend you don't read too much about cold war NBC warfare protocols and the like. I know someone who did and since then he regularly wakes up with nightmares of nuclear apocalpyse, especially when there's a thunderstorm outside.

That poo poo didn't end with the cold war; between Israel's Samson option, Russia's dead hand, and whatever insane plan the US undoubtedly has, it could all still go tits up pretty quickly.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

ReidRansom posted:

That poo poo didn't end with the cold war; between Israel's Samson option, Russia's dead hand, and whatever insane plan the US undoubtedly has, it could all still go tits up pretty quickly.

Also don't read Eric Schlosser's new book Command and Control: Nuclear Weapons, the Damascus Accident, and the Illusion of Safety, which covers the many nuclear weapons related accidents that occurred during the Cold War and since then. If you're into that sort of thing like I am it's a really great read. Talks about all the times planes carrying nuclear bombs have crashed, the times we misplaced nuclear warheads, and how we gave nuclear weapons to NATO allies that looking back was not a very good idea.

Darkman Fanpage fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Oct 24, 2013

OAquinas
Jan 27, 2008

Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.
Oh yeah, like the time we almost nuked the carolinas with a 4 megaton bomb--that only didn't happen because out of all the failsafes, the 50 cent switch is the only one that worked.

J. P. Beagley
Apr 11, 2008

Previa_fun posted:

Did anyone catch the bit on Rush today where the young kid (?) called in asking something about small business and then eventually admitting she confused Rush with Mark Levin? I missed most of the conversation but the parts I heard were pretty :wtc:

Heard it, totally bizarre. The strangest part was that Rush didn't dump the call. He stuck with it for a good 5 minutes.

az
Dec 2, 2005

ReidRansom posted:

Israel's Samson

I can't confirm it properly but I read that there exists an upgraded plan for the Samson Option that basically says, if Israel were to lose a land invasion it would not only glass the middle east but also western NATO countries because "if Israel were to fall, NATO failed to help them", and apparantly deserve to get nuked in return.

ReindeerF
Apr 20, 2002

Rubber Dinghy Rapids Bro
That sounds nutty even for Israel, frankly. Also I'd imagine that even if it were true you're looking at resource constraints.

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

az posted:

I can't confirm it properly but I read that there exists an upgraded plan for the Samson Option that basically says, if Israel were to lose a land invasion it would not only glass the middle east but also western NATO countries because "if Israel were to fall, NATO failed to help them", and apparantly deserve to get nuked in return.

Everything I've been able to find about this says to me that the Samson Option is just a poetic way of referring to second strike capacity. The people who have said "They'll nuke Europe and North America too!" are a Louisiana State University professor, a military historian, and a doomsday conspiracy theorist. None of them have any real authority on Israeli nuclear strategy.

The Israelis have some lovely policies but they aren't completely batshit pants on head insane.

The Insect Court
Nov 22, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

ReindeerF posted:

That sounds nutty even for Israel, frankly. Also I'd imagine that even if it were true you're looking at resource constraints.

What it sounds like is a crazy anti-semitic conspiracy theory. Bloodthirsty Israelis are gonna nuke Paris, seriously?

Simpleboo
Oct 19, 2013

Naga Warlord posted:

Heard it, totally bizarre. The strangest part was that Rush didn't dump the call. He stuck with it for a good 5 minutes.

This kind of thing happens a lot when Rush takes phone calls. I can't bear to listen to him too much anymore because of this kind of stuff.

ReindeerF
Apr 20, 2002

Rubber Dinghy Rapids Bro
While I agree it's crazy, and implied (said?) so, nutty conspiracy theories involving Israel hardly need to involve anti-semitism when someone like Avigdor Lieberman was the Deputy PM and Foreign Minister for the last few years - and he's only among the most extreme, nutty examples. Putting dudes like him in such massively important places of power basically puts the onus on Israel to prove it's not insane - I mean the guy makes Pat Buchanan seem milquetoast.

Anyway, this is probably outside the GOP territory.

az
Dec 2, 2005

Fojar38 posted:

Everything I've been able to find about this says to me that the Samson Option is just a poetic way of referring to second strike capacity. The people who have said "They'll nuke Europe and North America too!" are a Louisiana State University professor, a military historian, and a doomsday conspiracy theorist. None of them have any real authority on Israeli nuclear strategy.

The Samson Option was devised as a nuclear dead man switch that would destroy the invading force/their countries/all of Israels enemies just as the biblical Samson destroyed the pagan temple, killing himself and everyone within.
However it's good to hear the "alternative" theory doesn't seem to hold any water.

OAquinas
Jan 27, 2008

Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

az posted:

The Samson Option was devised as a nuclear dead man switch that would destroy the invading force/their countries/all of Israels enemies just as the biblical Samson destroyed the pagan temple, killing himself and everyone within.
However it's good to hear the "alternative" theory doesn't seem to hold any water.

Does Israel even have nuclear ballistic missiles? If they're relying on bomber strikes to pull down the western world with them....yeah.

It's a batshit conspiracy theory.

Paul MaudDib
May 3, 2006

TEAM NVIDIA:
FORUM POLICE

OAquinas posted:

Does Israel even have nuclear ballistic missiles? If they're relying on bomber strikes to pull down the western world with them....yeah.

Israel does in fact have nuclear ballistic missiles, as well as submarine launch capability.

quote:

It is estimated that the Jericho III is an ICBM which entered service in 2008. The Jericho III is believed to have a three-stage solid propellant and a payload of 1,000 to 1,300 kg. It is possible for the missile to be equipped with a single 750 kg nuclear warhead or two or three low yield MIRV warheads. It has an estimated launch weight of 30,000 kg and a length of 15.5 m with a width of 1.56 m. It may be similar to an upgraded and re-designed Shavit space launch vehicle, produced by Israel Aerospace Industries. It probably has longer first and second-stage motors. It is estimated by missilethreat.com that it has a range of 4,800 to 6,500 km (2,982 to 4,038 miles) km[18] (2,982 to 4,038 miles), though USAF missile proliferation survey for the Congressional Research Service puts possible maximum range at anywhere between 2000km and 11,500km.[19]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jericho_(missile)

quote:

Dolphin submarines are versatile and heavily-armed, with a wet and dry compartment for deploying underwater swimmers, and no less than 10 bow torpedo tubes. Four of the tubes have a 650mm diameter, which can launch larger cruise missiles, but are also useful for launching commandos in swimmer delivery vehicles (SDVs). The other 6 x 533mm tubes can launch STN Atlas Elektronik’s DM2A3 torpedoes or anti-ship missiles (likely Boeing’s UGM-86 Harpoons). Underwater mines offer another option.

It is also rumored that Israel has tested a nuclear-capable version of its medium-range “Popeye Turbo” external link cruise missile design for deployability from the 650mm torpedo tubes in its Dolphin Class submarines. The 2002 Popeye Turbo launch test location off Sri Lanka suggested that the tests may have been performed in cooperation with India external link.
http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/germany-may-sell-2-more-dolphin-subs-to-israel-for-117b-01528/

I would imagine that Israel probably does have plans that involve nuking most of the world, in the same way that the US has plans to invade Canada. Military powers make plans for military actions, it's what they do. The question is under what circumstances you think it would be executed.

Paul MaudDib fucked around with this message at 11:51 on Oct 24, 2013

My Q-Face
Jul 8, 2002

A dumb racist who need to kill themselves

az posted:

"if Israel were to fall, NATO failed to help them", and apparantly deserve to get nuked in return.

Considering recent remarks by Sheldon Adelson, I don't doubt this one bit.

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe

OAquinas posted:

Does Israel even have nuclear ballistic missiles? If they're relying on bomber strikes to pull down the western world with them....yeah.

It's a batshit conspiracy theory.

Israel has modern nukes, and they have confirmed possession of this line of ballistic missiles which includes some intercontinental range missiles:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jericho_%28missile%29

The missiles are fully compatible with having the nuclear weapon warheads put on, even though officially Israel doesn't have nukes and officially Israel doesn't have them mounted on these ready to go.


But of course, Isrel isn't interested in nuking the western world. They're interesting in nuking the Muslim countries surrounding them. And the ranges of their missiles are perfectly suited for nuking as far out as Iran's major cities.

OAquinas
Jan 27, 2008

Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.
Huh. Learn something every day. I assumed they had medium-ranged stuff sufficient to cover the ME, but didn't realize they could swat at London and possibly hit the US East coast.

poor nose
Oct 29, 2005

My sister was posting this on her facebook this morning. Obama uses people as props and the fainting lady was a set up to make Obama look heroic.

http://www.lady-patriots.com/proof-obamas-fainting-lady-was-faked-in-3-minutes/

mr. mephistopheles
Dec 2, 2009

poor nose posted:

My sister was posting this on her facebook this morning. Obama uses people as props and the fainting lady was a set up to make Obama look heroic.

http://www.lady-patriots.com/proof-obamas-fainting-lady-was-faked-in-3-minutes/

Did you watch the video?

The woman has this super creepy "ha I finally caught you, you shady black fucker" tone to her voice. Like the entire time Obama has been president she has just been waiting for him to slip up so she could justify all of her crazy racist bullshit and get other people on her side so she's no longer the one with wrong ideas.

It's probably the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

poor nose posted:

My sister was posting this on her facebook this morning. Obama uses people as props and the fainting lady was a set up to make Obama look heroic.

http://www.lady-patriots.com/proof-obamas-fainting-lady-was-faked-in-3-minutes/

If Obama took a bullet to the chest and survived these people would claim he "staged it".

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Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

mr. mephistopheles posted:

It's probably the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.

Have you seen a Ted Cruz speech before?

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