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Varjon posted:Gungrog I love guns, I think legal carry is a great idea. That said, come see how much TFR likes open carry. By that, I mean it's pretty much despised and thought of as pants on head retarded. Picking a fight while you're carrying? Straight up irresponsible, and threatening.
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Oct 28, 2013 00:14
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MohawkSatan posted:I love guns, I think legal carry is a great idea. That said, come see how much TFR likes open carry. By that, I mean it's pretty much despised and thought of as pants on head retarded. Picking a fight while you're carrying? Straight up irresponsible, and threatening. Exactly. Thankfully I think this guy was just suffering from a crippling lack of self-awareness and probably didn't/couldn't comprehend that picking a fight while armed could be construed badly. I glossed over it a bit in my post, but I was very impressed how our DM, who seemed like a pretty typical stickfigured nerdy type completely disarmed this guy's attempt to draw someone into an edition war with a mixture of silly, nonthreatening sarcasm and good natured humor. Looking back I wish I would have congratulated him on setting an example for geeks everywhere.
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Oct 28, 2013 01:15
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Dungeon World. 3 sessions into our shiny new campaign, and it's justifying the love it gets around here. Our setting is post-apoc fantasy, where godlike mages got out of control and basically wrecked everything. There's pockets of reverse gravity, random mutants wandering around, and other lovely leftovers. Our party is (vaugely) in control of an ambulant tower, a la Howl's Moving Castle crossed with Red Dwarf. My favourite character so far is our Mage, who specialises in time magic and hilarious side effects, resulting in something similar to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxWN8AhNER0 So far he's babyfied himself, frozen himself solid, created fun time-loops and put one of the other characters into slo-mo. Not to mention turning the closet full of friendly-old-man-clones into the closet of TERRIFYING SCARECROWS. I'm playing a Fae who's thick as two short planks, and far too metal for her own good. The two characters combined in a moment of beauty when we got advice from a coyote. The party was low on food, so we asked a local coyote where we could find some. He helpfully sent us stumbling into the lair of some nasty monsters, and turned up to enjoy the show. Mid-fight, the Fae breaks away to try and give the coyote a good kicking, but fails her attack miserably and it starts eating her (she's only 12" tall). Time Mage to the rescue! "I'll age just it's mouth, so it's teeth are loose and it can't bite." Cool, that works, and the coyote turns to run away. Sod that, thinks Fae, that's not nearly enough of a kicking. So as the coyote lets go of her, she rips one of it's teeth out, and stabs it in the tongue with it's own canine. 
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Oct 28, 2013 06:20
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The Meat Dimension posted:I told the group I was going to run a game this week for Halloween, a Call of Cthulu game (pregen characters) using the Lover in the Ice scenario from No Security. I made sure that my players were okay with the creepy aspects of the game, but we're still running it at the FLGS. I have a feeling that if more random people invite themselves in, its not going to end well. It's Halloween, and Call of Cthulhu. If someone gets in there and is upset at the creepy, point and laugh.
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Oct 28, 2013 09:51
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Love this thread, so I'll contribute something recent. I Roll Slur Untrained! Critical Success! It was the first session with a group I haven't played with before, they seem like pretty decent people. Iron Kingdoms setting, the group is hired to protect a remote mining startup from (what turned out to be) a Blackclad Circle warlock. Of the players present, the one that stood out the most was playing a Highwayman/Aristocrat, with some weird synergy of ambush-type abilities that meant he could do insane amounts of damage to opponents if he beat their initiative, and then have to hide behind his horse for the rest of the battle. His character was appropriately aggressive, always wanting to shoot anybody that looked like a threat as soon as they showed up and being kind of an arrogant dick to everybody he met. It came off as roleplaying more than anything, he let the party negotiate with the baddies with only minor protests, so nothing wrong so far. Then this conversation happened (It should be noted that the party has 3 members with arcane abilities) : Blackclad: I'm not going to let anybody mine from MY mountain. Highwayman: What do you even need the mountain for? B: Even if I was willing to explain it to you, I doubt you could comprehent my methods. H: Hmph, well, (glances at party) I was never really fond of spics, no offense- Everyone Else, Me Especially: WHOAAAAAAAAA! H: Sorry, I guess? Me: Jesus christ, dude! H: I mean, I just went with a word that sounded- Me: Wait, do you not know what that word already means? H: I guess not. Me: Well. It is a very offensive term for people of a Hispanic background. H: Oh, okay. I just wanted to make up a word that sounded offensive against magic people. Me: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU SUCCEEDED SPECTACULARLY! H: ...How about "micks"? Me: That is offensive against the Irish. H: Well, how about- Me: How about "mage-ies". H: That just sounds silly. Me: True, but what it DOESN'T sound like is a horrible ethnic slur. GM: I'm gonna say we go with "mage-ies". H: Okay, sure. GM: Surprise surprise, the Blackclad is very offended. Far as I could tell, he genuinely didn't know or had forgotten what that word meant. Just one of those things I guess.
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Oct 28, 2013 10:00
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I can't take credit since it's from Mother 3, but I humbly submit "magypsies", although it really doesn't solve the basic problem. e: "castholes" My Lovely Horse fucked around with this message at 10:11 on Oct 28, 2013 |
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Oct 28, 2013 10:05
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My Lovely Horse posted:I can't take credit since it's from Mother 3, but I humbly submit "magypsies", although it really doesn't solve the basic problem. It sure doesn't if you're playing in the UK, where there's a serious problem with otherwise normal human beings asserting that Romany people are all thieving gyppos and denying that they're racist in the same breath. But this isn't D&D. I mean, not the forum. I vote for 'casties' or 'sparks'
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Oct 28, 2013 11:20
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Hexers?
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Oct 28, 2013 12:48
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"Rats with Wands"
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Oct 28, 2013 13:07
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Knobbies? Coneheads? Sparks?
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Oct 28, 2013 13:07
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Malefactors, borrowing from the same Latin root as "Maleficarum" which was how you wrote "witch" in ye olde days when you wanted to be pretentious. You could probably shorten it to mallies. Tregetour, an archaic word for "a juggling magician", could be shortened to "treg". I'm pretty sure some videogame uses "robes" as a slur but that's kind of weak since it's like calling policemen "helmets" or "badges". If all else fails, find an unpleasant animal (poisonous, ugly, or both) with a one-or-two-syllable name and use that.
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Oct 28, 2013 13:27
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You have Castholes right there, don't throw pearls before swine here.
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Oct 28, 2013 13:39
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Snapes. Call a wizard a Snape. Or Worm, because bookworms and also "low as a worm" Remedial Conjurer Buttromancer Vancian Douchebag Limp Wand A simpering berobed muppet.
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Oct 28, 2013 14:28
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This is the best derail ever.  Also: sparkies.
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Oct 28, 2013 14:43
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Call all wizards Vances. Even if there's no Vancian casting.
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Oct 28, 2013 14:45
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I seem to remember one setting where magic types could be called "mumblers" but I can't remember where I heard it
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Oct 28, 2013 15:06
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Blargh. So how exactly do you prove to a GM that a friend of yours vouches for that, no, having that creepy evil emperor from the Book of Vile Darkness (you know, the one that chains kids to his armor :| ) is not in fact a good match against three level 5-6 PCs (fighter, monk, cleric). I pretty much straight told him that that the guy was like CR 20+, and he replied that we are totally ready to take him. He is probably basing it on the fact that my fighter, who fights with a greatsword and has 18 STR, and was buffed to hell by the cleric, killed the hell out of some mooks previously (STR buffs and Enlarged, meaning she had reach, AND she had cleave, and I rolled a couple of crits, so...). I´m getting the vibe that this guy plays to kill PCs and that is... not something I like playing against.  He might also be basing it on the fact that the Monk has some crazy powerful handwraps, that -can-, in fact, disintegrate stuff (no I dunno why he gave that to a level 6 PC). Course, it would involve the Monk hitting the dude. I mean... with all the buffs, I rolled a 28 on this guy and missed. I don't think the Monk can hit that on anything less than a natural 20.
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Oct 28, 2013 16:04
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You die in a pathetic manner, and then you say "See?". Or he might be planning on solving the problem via Deus ex NPC, but needs you to be fighting and losing before they can make their dramatic entrance.
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Oct 28, 2013 16:08
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goatface posted:Or he might be planning on solving the problem via Deus ex NPC, but needs you to be fighting and losing before they can make their dramatic entrance. And then he unveils the twist for the campaign: you're all supporting cast in his Drizzt fanfic.
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Oct 28, 2013 16:36
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I think it's the children he has chained to him, but I always think you should be able to find some really cheap annoying and immature way to defeat the Dread Emperor while under levelled. Like, "I'm not touching you", engage in combat and run away, in shifts, every time he tries to regain spells, rest, or eat, until he passes out from fatigue. Okay, gotta post a story to make a comment, here's my story. I was playing a wimpy non combat Technomancer in Shadowrun, and we were doing a hostage exchange in the Orcish Underground. They try to double cross us and kill the hostage, a firefight breaks out, and I scavenge their comliks for later perusal. Except the street samurai's, because he has an implanted one. Now, my technomancer had a fixation on information gathering, so as the party is fleeing, I borrow the troll's monosword and go to town. I catch up with them at the rendezvous with the hostage's family, covered in blood and carrying a severed head in a bag.
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Oct 28, 2013 18:34
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Mr. Maltose posted:You have Castholes right there, don't throw pearls before swine here. Thaumaturds? But yeah, Castholes is brilliant.
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Oct 28, 2013 19:07
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I'd go for something scatological myself, considering how much bat guano seem to be a competent in vanican spellcasting
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Oct 28, 2013 20:38
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Wand Jockeys Although yeah, I like Casthole better.
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Oct 28, 2013 20:51
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the_steve posted:Wand Jockeys Castholes is definitely the winner here, but I think Thaumaturd is a close contender.
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Oct 28, 2013 20:57
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Robindaybird posted:I'd go for something scatological myself, considering how much bat guano seem to be a competent in vanican spellcasting Shitfingers has quite a nice feel to it. "OI! Shitfingers! Get over here and do some magic at this door."
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Oct 28, 2013 21:00
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Now I sort of wish I could find that thread where that emperor character caused a derail and someone made up a story of how the emperor is actually a benevolent fantasy equivalent of Emperor Norton and the kids are all provided for. For actual content: In the Savage Worlds pirates game I'm in, the party has split, one half hunting the other. It's player vs player now. Let's go back a bit and see what happened. We had discovered the body of an unfortunate man who had been on his way to be the governor of the Dutch colony of Bonaire (we had killed the previous governor, he haunted our ship for a while as a ghost). On the body were letters and all the proof our marksman, Capellan, needed to masquerade as the man. Surely it'd be nice to be best friends with a governor, right? As it turns out, no. Capellan couldn't get us a better deal than Spain, our current privateer sponsor, as the island was pretty much broke. Meanwhile, Capellan was attending parties as the governor and getting several marriage proposals. Tensions were running high as the crew felt they weren't getting anything out of the arrangement. Well, not to worry! As the governor, Capellan had heard of a Dutch passenger ship headed for the colony, carrying soldiers and their families. We could intercept it and raid it! Fearing it would be accompanied by a convoy, we joined with another spanish privateer. We found the Dutch ship, and prepared for a fight... we found none. They had no convoy. They had no cannons. After first softening the ship with some grape shots (basically shrapnel shot out of a cannon), we boarded the ship. The ship had no soldiers, either, not even the ones it was supposed to be carrying. There was no opposition. Though the crew was delighted at this easy prey, the party found it mighty suspicious. Capellan and the helmsman, Rama, went down below the ship's deck. For some reason, Capellan was checking the names on a passenger list. As Capellan entered a specific room, Rama checked the list. He noticed a name on the list: The actual governor's wife, who could blow Capellan's cover. Rama heard three shots. As the party entered the room, Capellan was there, surrounded by three corpses. The lady and her two servants, shot through the head. Though the captain tried to keep things under wraps, the news spread. Even for a privateer, cold-blooded murder is no small deal, especially of a Dutch noblewoman. At a Spanish port, half of the crew was arrested and interrogated about the incident, while the other half, led by Capellan and the thuggish swashbuckler Leon, fought the authorities and even sunk some of their ships. Now half of the party (Capellan and Leon) is fleeing on our ship and the other half has joined another privateer's crew to hunt for Capellan. Things are heading towards a messy end.
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Oct 28, 2013 23:15
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So, it's nearing Halloween and hey, bad stories are just as entertaining, right? So I give you, the Zombie Fetus Jamboree. A couple years back, I got involved in an All Flesh Must Be Eaten game. I guess my first clue should have been that the GM had something on the order of thirty Pre-Gens each with a mental disorder ranging from The Stereotypical(OCD Surgeon, Gamer with no grasp on reality) to frankly insulting (Schizophrenic escaped mental patient that babbled about demons in her brain making her breasts tingle). So it was just four players and the GM. I'll be calling the GM Dizzy Funboi because, well... the name stuck. I've got a thick skin about a lot of things. One of the other players, which was mentioned up front because she didn't want to have panic attacks at the table was a rape-survivor with an intense fear of pregnancy. Dizzy Funboi gave a noted and then we started. The problem was that while he may of noted it, he didn't care. Things were okay until halfway into the first session. When the survivor got her character grabbed by a zombie. Cue this colorful description. "All is peaceful for a moment, then you're overwhelmed by Frantic hands caressing your skin and tugging at the fabric of your clothes". Her character got away, this time. Though just getting grabbed took a chunk out of her health and the players sanity. Cue nasty glares. Next time someone got grabbed, it was a "wandering hand strays between your thighs". When someone actually got grabbed and couldn't get up, they were meat for the grinds, with descriptions of "Tender Lips Caressing your neck before harsh teeth cut in." Or "The construction worker envelopes you in his rotting bulk, every fervent thrust pushing you deeper into the muck, every bite like a kiss." The Survivor wasn't the only one uncomfortable. Dizzy Funboi said he was going to tone it down... And then we encountered the Queen Mothers. Spoilered for being gross and hell. The Queen Mother"risen corpse an unwed mother" "smeared make-up and slut boots remnants of the night before" who "squat lewdly" and "curse[s] the world with the hordes of the illegitimate unborn" though "the serpentine gash in her stomach". "Dressed in slut pink club wear" [she] is "the very picture of white trash, floating upon mortality's vomit". The "illegitimate unborn" are flying glowing fetuses that attempt to cram themselves down your throat and "gestate in the warm womb of your stomach". Short story shorter, the queen mothers are pregnant zombies that spit out glowing fetuses through their C-section scars. Said floating undead babies ended up so thick in the air that you could read by them. The survivor had to excuse herself and I imagine Dizzy Funboi did a little happy dance. Thing is, of course, we had no idea what the others were doing is this was on line. Then there were the Dancers. Drunken zombie sorority chicks that stumble out of the way of gunfire. And if we failed to save a NPC in time, they became super sexed up(as in, their outfits tore into stripper versions as he described their breasts starting to hang out and panty flash and stuff, smeared make-up, the works), super fast, and would try to push you against a wall and straddle you. I left. But I ended up talking to him about why I left, and that was that this wasn't what I signed up for. He told me that he'd made himself perfectly clear, it was a Zombie Apocalypse game. Which, yeah. But I just thought well, it's what All Flesh Must Be Eaten is. I didn't know he was talking about an obscure Xbox Live/PSN game. And yeah, the game had a weird sexual undertone, but it wasn't as bad as what he did. And he stated that the reason he didn't tone it down any further was that it wouldn't be true to the game... The Pern Defense. And maybe he's right. But you know what? It was a bad experience for at least two of us. I played the game later, and I was glad that I didn't get to the part where we had to fight a giant boil on the land that shot the undead babies out of a turret, and spewed out fully grown zombies and impaled you through ground claws... Because I know he would have had it go straight up the rear end or something. So yeah. That was my Halloween two years back. Let's hope this one's better. FourmyleCircus fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Oct 29, 2013 |
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Oct 29, 2013 05:35
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Magicians are never to be trusted. Tried a one shot in Empire of Dust, a rather obscure setting. Our party is a post apocolyptic war band of evil mercs, trying to take down the Hero Alliance and get a Glyph that can summon God. We're at the final battle, and have managed to reach the bunker containing the Glyph. Unfortunately, only one of our characters is combat optimized, the Dust Devil GunKnight. (He manages to easily outpace the damage of the rest of the party combined, shooting an assault cannon with one hand and a flame thrower with another; whatever he doesn't shoot to death soon burns up.) I, as a vainglorious noble magic user Laminar the Beautiful, can't get anything going. I can only use my main power every other turn, as it's charged by taunting, and taunting is all of my combat actions. Everyone tries to do something, but only the Gun Knight can get anything done. Enemy mages have locked down their forcefields; he shoots, but they can ignore the damage. I tell the Psychic to mess with her electronics and open the Godbunker. But I have a plan. Instead of armor, I took a Battle Standard, depicting the might of my faction. That lets me power up someone else's attack. After four hours of play, it's still in my backpack. I look down on the sheet. Me and the Psychic are secretly siblings, but that hasn't come up in play. I unfurl my banner, revealing that the drug-addicted Psychic is my long lost sister. This lets her power up her precognition power, which gives her 3 rolls...which she can give to others. I sprint across the battlefield under fire, ending in a very odd, very precise place. The GunKnight FINALLY finishes fighting the enemy side. Everyone who isn't on fire is in a gory pile on the floor. It's my turn. I sprint inside the bunker, and ask the psychic for one of her dice. [I have a 12 in a stat, she rolled a 12, and matching your stat exactly means critical success.] I use it to get a critical success on my diplomacy check, convincing the guardian that I am the human form of the lord almighty, and only I could absorb the glyph's power.
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Oct 29, 2013 06:15
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Kerzoro posted:Blargh. Well, you might also consider not fighting the guy. Maybe that means surrendering, maybe that means signing up with his organization to infiltrate it from within, etc. If the DM's worth his salt at all, he's not going to have you fight the guy to a TPK - he might just be being set up as a driving force behind the plot.
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Oct 29, 2013 07:29
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Dirk the Average posted:Well, you might also consider not fighting the guy. Maybe that means surrendering, maybe that means signing up with his organization to infiltrate it from within, etc. If the DM's worth his salt at all, he's not going to have you fight the guy to a TPK - he might just be being set up as a driving force behind the plot. He's pretty clearly not worth his salt considering he's using the BoVD.
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Oct 29, 2013 08:29
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Rockopolis posted:I think it's the children he has chained to him, but I always think you should be able to find some really cheap annoying and immature way to defeat the Dread Emperor while under levelled. Like, "I'm not touching you", engage in combat and run away, in shifts, every time he tries to regain spells, rest, or eat, until he passes out from fatigue. Knock out the kids first so that he has to finish the fight chained to a few hundred pounds of dead weight.
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Oct 29, 2013 10:14
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Fourmylecircus, you should have said it was an online game right away. I was wondering why nobody had punched the GM in the dick. And then shouted "Happy Halloween."
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Oct 29, 2013 11:25
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Piell posted:He's pretty clearly not worth his salt considering he's using the BoVD. Look at all this truth. I haven't seen something try harder to be edgy and fail since pretty much anything to do with the Dark Eldar or Chaos Marines in 40k.
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Oct 29, 2013 14:26
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FourmyleCircus posted:Horrible zombie game Either way, this sounds like a really awful example of a GM pushing their fetish onto a semi-captive audience. Which would honestly be giving him the benefit of the doubt, as the alternative is more or less that he deliberately crafted his descriptions to trigger a rape survivor. Gazetteer fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Oct 29, 2013 |
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Oct 29, 2013 14:29
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Night10194 posted:Look at all this truth. I haven't seen something try harder to be edgy and fail since pretty much anything to do with the Dark Eldar or Chaos Marines in 40k. The Chaos Marines deliberately aren't too edgy since GW still wants to sell minis even to kids of uptight parents. See how Daemonettes no longer go half naked, there are pretty much no references to sex in the Emperor's Children Fluff, etc. Your main point still stands. The BoVD is babby's first attempt to shock others.
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Oct 29, 2013 14:32
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Guys, there might be a happy ending to the University Tabletop Group story! I offered to run a Dungeon World game and five people signed up! Unfortunately, since everything is done via forum I don't know exactly who is signing up, just their usernames. And several of them are marked as "Dungeon Masters" so  But hey, chin up, always be optimistic, yeah? I'm hoping this will go well! Oh, also, one of the members of the group turned out to be a goon and apologized for the DMs being grogs. Thank you, kind goon, for saying that as well as reminding me that I have to start using different usernames for things! FourmyleCircus posted:"Zombies"  Doomsayer fucked around with this message at 16:06 on Oct 29, 2013 |
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Oct 29, 2013 16:03
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Piell posted:He's pretty clearly not worth his salt considering he's using the BoVD.
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Oct 29, 2013 17:32
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Yawgmoth posted:I take a slight amount of umbrage with this because while a lot of the book is well and truly bad to a comical level (dread emperor, most of the "dirty/gross = evil" poo poo), there's also a lot of useful material in there for evil N/PCs, or at least decent concepts that can be fixed by a competent DM to be functional. Plus the book has my most favorite spell of all time: Grim Revenge. It rips off their hand and animates it as a wight that then begins to attack its former owner! And then the caster can take a free action to say "stop hitting yourself" because you have to at that point. Counterpoint: Evil tongue studs and nipple clamps. Lichloved (aka Skill Focus: loving the Zombie)
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Oct 29, 2013 17:41
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Piell posted:Counterpoint: Evil tongue studs and nipple clamps. Lichloved (aka Skill Focus: loving the Zombie)
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Oct 29, 2013 18:02
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Yawgmoth posted:I take a slight amount of umbrage with this because while a lot of the book is well and truly bad to a comical level (dread emperor, most of the "dirty/gross = evil" poo poo), there's also a lot of useful material in there for evil N/PCs, or at least decent concepts that can be fixed by a competent DM to be functional. Plus the book has my most favorite spell of all time: Grim Revenge. It rips off their hand and animates it as a wight that then begins to attack its former owner! And then the caster can take a free action to say "stop hitting yourself" because you have to at that point. The one I always liked was Crushing Fist of Spite. It was like on of the Bigby's spells on steroids. You summon a huge gently caress off fist of hatred in the air that just keeps punching the ground, and it's about the size of a semi truck. And each round you can direct it to a new area to punch. You level up to be a wizard casting 9th level spells just to punch poo poo to death. I've always wanted to kill a boss monster with that ridiculous spell.
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Oct 29, 2013 18:21
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