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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Pander posted:

White Sox!
Oh, goddamn it! This thread was so much quainter when we only had one White Sox fan at a time.

I won't challenge you for rights. Just make a good showing of things.

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Beet
Aug 24, 2003
Because I've discovered I can make a quality lineup with only 5 unique players, I'm going to take the Brewers.

edit: dammit theacox, I need to refresh more frequently. Well, I'm not going to back down unlike ToS. Bring on the coinflip

GVOLTT
Dec 27, 2012

Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.
I'm choosing the Dodgers because I did them already.

Here's the link to what I have:
http://linkyy.com/DodgersTeam

A few more players will be added to fill out the 40-man roster; currently at 35. Well, it's done now, maybe a few minor changes here and there if I see fit.

GVOLTT fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Nov 7, 2013

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
I'll tenatively tag the dodgers?

e: gently caress.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
theacox, Beet. Pick a number between 1-50.

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.

cbx posted:

theacox, Beet. Pick a number between 1-50.

Corey Hart is number 1. Number 1 it is.

Beet
Aug 24, 2003

cbx posted:

theacox, Beet. Pick a number between 1-50.

RIP Aaron Rodgers. #12

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
Alright, I'll take the Phillies.

Roster coming up sometime soon.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.


Beet, you have stolen the Brewers.

theacox, my congratulations. Have another franchise.

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.

cbx posted:



Beet, you have stolen the Brewers.

theacox, my congratulations. Have another franchise.

MOTHER FUCKER.



You may have saved me from myself.

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

YANKEES YANKEES YANKEES

e:

Paul Zuvella fucked around with this message at 03:25 on Nov 7, 2013

Beet
Aug 24, 2003

theacox posted:

MOTHER FUCKER.



You may have saved me from myself.

the pitching is god awful. It is however possible to make a lineup with two Younts, two Molitors, two Brauns, Prince Fielder and Ted Simmons

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.

Beet posted:

the pitching is god awful. It is however possible to make a lineup with two Younts, two Molitors, two Brauns, Prince Fielder and Ted Simmons

I know I know. We're cool. Uh, congrats, I guess.

Beet
Aug 24, 2003

theacox posted:

I know I know. We're cool. Uh, congrats, I guess.

I'm sorry I'm constitutionally incapable of letting you win anything. It's a disease I have.

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.
I'll claim the Expos instead. I'm assuming it's just the Expos and that's it unless otherwise told.

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.

Beet posted:

I'm sorry I'm constitutionally incapable of letting you win anything. It's a disease I have.

Dick :toot:

Beet
Aug 24, 2003
The Super League brings out the best in all of us. Also it includes the Nationals since it's a relocation.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
I'll take the Boston/Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves.

edit: gently caress...


um how about the Mariners?

double edit: CraigK really wanted the team so...

Mooseontheloose fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Nov 7, 2013

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx
nm,

CraigK fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Nov 7, 2013

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Anyone have any objections if I take the Mets?

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
Edit: My Bad

Pash fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Nov 7, 2013

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx
murners

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

theacox posted:

I'll claim the Expos instead. I'm assuming it's just the Expos and that's it unless otherwise told.

It's the franchise. So, I think you'd want to claim the Nationals.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Pash posted:

I will take the Athletics in the challenge.

TKBomber has already claimed the A's. Are you bad enough of a dude to pick a random number, or do you want to pass and let him keep the A's?

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



ToiletofSadness posted:

Oh, goddamn it! This thread was so much quainter when we only had one White Sox fan at a time.

I won't challenge you for rights. Just make a good showing of things.

Take em. I figured I was the only one. I won't be able to do them justice when I'm working 13-16 hours every day for the next week and a half.

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
He can keep it, I will take the Baltimore Orioles.

Pash fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Nov 7, 2013

Beet
Aug 24, 2003

theacox, you are right. In the spirit of being more like Aaron Rodgers than Ryan Braun, I'm going to relinquish the Brewers to you if you wish. May Corey Hart guide you.

In an effort to redeem myself, I'm going to take one of SAS's most historically hated teams, the Angels and see what Mogul thinks of planar fasciitis.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


COL/AZ and thanks McFreeze

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

I concede the Rockies and Diamondbacks to kensei and will stick to the Marlins and Rays, who are the two best teams in history anyway.

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
Snagging the giants.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Pander posted:

Take em. I figured I was the only one. I won't be able to do them justice when I'm working 13-16 hours every day for the next week and a half.
:-(

Well, alright, I guess I take control of the White Sox. Gonna build me a staff of all the most famous knuckleballers.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Smasher League Divisional Series: New World Symphony vs. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers

Listen dudes and dudettes, writing these obits about DC Comics, which is my real passion, has been taking up a lot of my time, so I was forced to turn to some outside help to write about this series. Fortunately, The Merry Marauder stepped in and, in return, I've agreed to look the other way if he creates another alt account. Enjoy!

The Merry Marauder posted:


THE JOURNAL OF THE MERRY MARAUDER


My name, as always, is the Merry Marauder, and I am your once and future champion.

Oh, yes, I can already here the clucking from the thread. The high-pitching whines of cracking voices that loudly decry me achievement. That say "The Marauder Syndicate should not be!" And, of course, I'm sure there are some. Humungus most notable among them, no doubt, that I am being presumptuous. But I'd like to tell you a little story that, I am certain will assuage any doubts you might have about my upcoming coronation. Yes, it is time the world knew of the lonesome death of the New World Symphony.



The New World Symhpony, as you might recall, are mrnoun's latest team. His Luna Landers won Super-League IX. His Galactic Wanderers won Super-League X. For understandable reasons, his latest offering, the New World Symphony has rather lofty expectations placed on it. And, to be fair, they did have a quite good regular season, netting mrnoun another division crown and holding onto the Television Championship for an entire season. Those are no small feats, but they are also a team without any solid hitters besides Josh Gibson. And, as an aside, I have plans for him. Plans that will change everything. Their pitching, though fearsome, is, at best, merely a match for my own staff, and I have the advantage of an unbeatable lineup to support them.

No doubt you have noticed something rather askew about the Symphony's banner, as well, but, worry not, all will be explained in time.



The Symphony, being a fly-by-night operation, played their games in the ruins of the Wanderers' old park, which had crashed into Scranton, Pennsylvania. Then again, Scranton is best known for environmentally unsound coal mining and The Office. Their aesthetic sense leaves something to be desired, sadly.



My own team, steeped in glory and greatness, and of such magnificence that it became the hub of an entire syndicate of teams under its aegis. The Finger-Bangers, unfairly, I must say, have been overlooked this past season. The Losers had the acclamation of the crowds, even our own commissar named them the uncrowned champions. Never mind that they have never won a championship and I have a total of three to my name. My team has the best pitching in the Smasher League according to just about any measure. We have a lineup packed full of Hall of Famers and, most important of all, we have pedigree.



And, of course, playing at Sumitomo Mitsui Group Park, we also have the backing of the zaibatsu.


Game the First

The first game was somewhat of a disappointment. Oh, yes, we won 5-2, a solid win, and yet I was not satisfied. That damned Dave Parker hit two home runs. Although, I must say, that Dave Parker represented the sum total of the Symphony's offense? Well, there something darkly amusing about that. The two-time champion of the Super-League, the man who built the almighty Luna Landers, mrnoun reduced to relying on Dave Parker for help?

Of course, on the flip side, giving up two home runs to Dave Parker of all people was a failure of my pitching staff, especially of Rollie Fingers who, even though he didn't blow the game, for once, still gave up another home run. Still, my offense came through, as they so often do, and made that lapse moot.

I feel I must digress at this point to explain my feelings for Rollie Fingers. A very long time ago, I made a promise that, no matter what happened, he would be my closer. It is a promise that, at times, I have regretted, especially given his predilection for bitter, bitter defeats in the playoffs. But for me, a promise made is a promise kept, and I have allowed Rollie to continue on as my closer to this day, even though it is slowly driving me mad.

That said, every promise has its loophole, and I decided, after careful consideration, that if I simply did not use any relievers in the remainder of the series, then I would not be bound to bring Rollie Fingers into the game at all. A risky gambit in normal circumstances, but the Symphony were so punchless that I had little to fear from them. No, this would work.

I did have other concerns, of course. My child teams were not doing as well. The Gumshoes had just been relegated which, although sadly predictable, was still somewhat vexing. The Premodernists have a better chance of surviving the Gauntlet, but not a good chance. The Coburns had been taken out on the final day of the season, and although they'll be fine in the long run, it still broke my heart to see them laid low by the Tornados, who I have never much cared for. Not to mention that but for the Rockford Losers lying down, they would have made the playoffs. I know that, soon, I will get my chance to deal with Humungus and his team personally, and I am looking forward to it.

mrnoun looked rather lost after the game. I suppose, in his mind, he understood that attempting to beat the mighty battleship of the Bangers with his rowboat of team was an impossible task, even for him, but to see his team dismantled so thoroughly, it must have been crushing for him.

I wonder if there would be anyway to acquire Josh Gibson for myself. I imagine that I have enough spare parts in my minors to make mrnoun an offer that he cannot refuse. How many players would it take? Five hitters? Six? I have the talent to pull if off. And Gibson would finally give me the steadying presence I need behind the plate. Of course, if I did that, there would be riots. The other owners, the weaker owners would be outraged that I would acquire another superstar for my team. And I'd agitate the rabble anymore. After all, I suppose I should leave them with some hope that they have a future, quiescence suits them.

I remember the last time I won a championship, back in Super-League VIII. I realize now that I should have sent the Phoenixes to meet the Macho Men, and kept the Bangers in the league. The Imperialists and Coburns were ready to take the load in the Dynamo League, but the Smasher League was fragile. The Phoenixes were hardly dominating, and the league suffered as a result as weak teams that should not have survived, the New Orleans Mashers, the Montreal Manatees, and those Queens Mercuries, all survived longer than they should have. The League needed the Bangers to be strong, needed them to separate the weak from the chaff, and yet I threw them away against the Macho Men. I wonder, if I face that same choice again, will it be different this time, or will my hubris once more be the end of me.

Then again, hubris implies that my pride outpaces my greatness, and that is hardly the case here.

It was a good night.





Game the Second

Today's game was a tedious affair. My own offense sputtered, unable to make much headway against Pete Alexander who, for far, far too longer, has been the bane of my existence in the Super-League. Seeing him in this series did fill me with a certain nostalgia for the earlier days of the Super-League.

My thoughts, as they often do in such situations, turned to Hesiod and The Works and The Days. I believe that the Super-League itself has lived through a variety of ages, and, sad to say, to this point, they are on a downward trajectory. In the best days, the league was ruled by myself and TKBomber. Men of vision. Men who loved this thread and were willing to go to drastic lengths because of that love. For five seasons, we ruled the league like gods among men. It was a Golden Age. New owners came out of the woodwork constantly, and everything was simply more fun.

And then that bastard blakelmenakle ruined everything. He and his Bobbleheads. There was no great love for the Super-League within blaklemenakle, his was a dilettante, and something magical of those early days was lost when he won his first championship. And yet, compared to what was to come, I suppose it was a silver age comparatively speaking. blakelmenakle was an original owner, and he had shown patience. Perhaps that is a lesser virtue, but it is virtue nonetheless.

Of course, that led to our current era of misery. Seasons where passionless men with spreadsheets conquered this fair league. C. Everett Koop, CthulhuDreams, Humungus, and, of course, mrnoun. These were men who cared only for their precious numbers, and did not appreciate the artistry, the style, the camaraderie the league had once held so dear. These men are ruining everything, reducing what was once a great game into just so many mathematical functions. I fear to think that, if this is the Super-League's Bronze Age, what the Iron Age will bring.

As for the game itself, there is not much to say. As good as Alexander was, my own sluggers were up to the task, and hit two home runs. The Symphony offense, somehow even more pathetic than the previous game, managed to hit three singles for zero runs, and Addie Joss easily managed the complete game.

I must say, however, that I am at least a little fortunate that Josh Gibson, to this point, has failed to reach base even a single time. He was likely the best player in the Smasher League this season, and, in all honesty, the one man that allowed the Symphony to reach the playoffs in the first place. I have no doubt that, in a game or two, his bat will come back to life. Of course, by then, it will be far too late.

I talked with Viscount Slim after the game. Apparently his series with the Pirates has become a closely-contested affair. I find it puzzling that Beet of all people has managed to build a formidable team, but I suppose the Pirates have proven themselves over the past two seasons. I suppose he fits in more with the blakelmenakle class of owners than mrnoun's ilk. In any event, I would prefer the Pirates to advance. They are no threat to my Bangers in the finals, and I would very much like to capture the four titles they hold. The Imperialists are in a good place. They hold down the rest of the Memento Mori Division and, along with the Coburns, have proven invaluable at ensuring that expansion teams in the Dynamo League do not live to see their second season. It's an important part of what makes the Syndicate work. The meek will not inherit this league as long as I am here. A rookie owner does not deserve a winning team. He must prove his commitment to this league before he is worthy of even a playoff spot. I guard this league against the riffraff. You should all be very thankful.

It was a good night.





Game the Third

The deed is done! mrnoun's dynasty lies broken, and I once again head to the Smasher League Championship Series as a dominant force.

In the end, the Symphony failed because they were simply not as good as the Bangers. Their pitching was not up to the task. And given that in the course of the whole series, the only runs they scored came on those two Dave Parker home runs in Game 1, it is fair to say that they were hardly adequate either. I suppose any time Dave Parker has 100% of your RBIs and runs, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong. I am glad the Symphony have failed. The only owner who should dominate this league is one who has proven his dedication to it, and only I have done so.

By virtue of the sweep, I also took mrnoun's Television Title from him. Odd things these secondary titles. I have won more of them than I can remember. I like winning them. In the Super-League, it's hard to have many displays of dominance. Yes, winning the division is nice, but that is more a process of accretion, of winning a few games every week until, by the end of the season, you are the champion. It is as dramatic as watching wind erosion. And crushing teams in the playoffs is all well and good, but that only comes around once every season. These titles, though, they allow me to impress on the other owners just how great I am and how powerful my team is. I admit it is slightly primal of me, like a wolf howling at the moon. I like to imagine myself as a wolf, at times, leader of a proud pack, preying on the weak and sick to make us stronger. I suppose there is something to be said that the writ of outlawry pronounced "Caput gerat lupinum." A man who stands a part from society and desires neither society's protections nor its confining rules. Yes, I quite like the sound of that.

Dazzy Vance pitched well today, which was something of a surprise, but a welcome one. Come to think of it, it's unclear whether or not he pitched well, or the Symphony batters were so impotent that a pitching machine likely would have shut them out. For that matter, my hitters have disappointed me this series. True, we won the game 9-0, but only because we scored six times in the top of the ninth inning, when the game and series were essentially already over.

Still, it was a resounding victory, though only the first step. I must next face the winner of the Rakers/Eazy W's series, and I feel conflicted. On the one hand, I know that the Bangers could easily defeat the Eazy W's. In Super-League VIII, the Phoenixes humiliated them in the Smasher League Championship Series, and the Bangers are a considerably better team than the W's. Further, in such a series, I would hold home-field advantage and, even in games I did not, my team would play in their stadium, with its short right field fence. I'm sure Barry Bonds and Ted Williams could do a great deal of damage in that stadium, especially if Ms. Yoshida should enter the game.

On the other hand, the Rakers defeated the Bangers in a fluke result last season, and I would be lying to myself if I did not have some primal desire for revenge against them. Losing to a team from England? An unbearable disgrace that needs to be rectified. Further, I would like to get my Intercontinental Title back if at all possible, and since the W's are manifestly incapable of sweeping the Rakers, the only way I could accomplish that feat would be if they advanced.

In the end, I suppose it's out of my hands, and there's not much to do at the moment but wait.

It was a good night.




Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Here's the Cubs, save for some minor tweaks that may or may not be made.

e: player IDs added.

Monicro fucked around with this message at 06:21 on Nov 7, 2013

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
:siren: Pick 'Em Standings: :siren:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvhK1RX1-jWLdEJTRElCeU1zMVpLdWlNeEdVeEVEVmc&usp=drive_web#gid=2

1.) The Goog: 15 points
2.) mks5000, CaptainYesterday: 14 points
3.) FairGame, Grinnblade, TKBomber7285: 13 points

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011
Here is my Oakland Athletics team

1908 Athletics (3)
1924 Athletics (1)
1933 Athletics (3)
1951 Athletics (1)
1973 Athletics (4)


Starters
C Mickey Cochrane (1933)
1B Jimmie Foxx (1933)
2B Eddie Collins (1908)
3B Sal Bando (1973)
SS Eddie Joost (1951)
LF Bob Johnson (1933)
CF Al Simmons (1924)
RF Reggie Jackson (1973)

Max Bishop (1951)
Ray Fosse (1973)
Ferris Fain (1951)
Gus Zernial (1951)
Bill North (1973)
Bert Campaneris (1973)


SP Eddie Plank (1908)
SP Lefty Grove (1933)
SP Vida Blue (1973)
SP Ken Holtzman (1973)
SP Catfish Hunter (1973)


CL Rollie Fingers (1973)
SU Darold Knowles (1973)
SR Horacio Pina (1973)
SR Danny Murphy (1973)
MR Chief Bender (1908)
LR Bobby Shantz (1951)

AAA
Eddie Rommel (1924)
Socks Seybold (1908)
Gene Tenace (1973)
Topsy Hartsel (1908)
Dick Green (1973)
Hank Majeski (1951)
Sam Zoldak (1951)
Morrie Martin (1951)
Johnnie Marcum (1933)
Bing Miller (1924)
Jimmy Dykes (1924)
Sam Gray (1924)
Harry Davis (1908)
Danny Murphy (1908)
Jack Coombs (1908)


Lineup w/DH
2B Eddie Collins
1B Ferris Fain
DH Jimmie Foxx
LF Bob Johnson
3B Sal Bando
RF Reggie Jackson
C Mickey Cochrane
SS Eddie Joost
CF Al Simmons

Lineup w/out DH
2B Eddie Collins
RF Reggie Jackson
1B Jimmie Foxx
LF Bob Johnson
3B Sal Bando
C Mickey Cochrane
SS Eddie Joost
CF Al Simmons
Pitcher

Ray Fosse is the personal catcher of Vida Blue

TKBomber7285 fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Nov 8, 2013

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

The Symphony are dead. Good Riddance. :colbert:

Also, I give you all a rough draft of THE YANKEES.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

I will take the Cardinals

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007
I'd make a pithy remark about mks5000's team, but I can't remember who they are.


The The Red Red Sox Sox:

1988 (3)
1993 (2)
1998 (3)
2003 (4)

25-man roster + 5 AAA:

C Jason Varitek '98 (varitja01)
1B Mo Vaughn '93 (vaughmo01)
2B John Valentin '93 (valenjo02)
3B Wade Boggs '88 (boggswa01)
SS Nomar Garciaparra '98 (garcino01)
LF Manny Ramirez '03 (ramirma02)
CF Johnny Damon '03 (damonjo01)
RF Dwight Evans '88 (evansdw01)
DH David Ortiz '03 (ortizda01)
C Jason Varitek '03 (varitja01)
UI John Valentin '98 (valenjo02)
UI Nomar Garciaparra '03 (garcino01)
UO Trot Nixon '03 (nixontr01)
UO Ellis Burks '88 (burksel01)

SP Roger Clemens '88 (clemero02)
SP Roger Clemens '93 (clemero02)
SP Pedro Martinez '98 (martipe02)
SP Pedro Martinez '03 (martipe02)
SP Bret Saberhagen '98 (saberbr01)
CL Lee Smith '88 (smithle02)
SU Tom Gordon '98 (gordoto01)
SR Mike Timlin '03 (timlimi01)
SR Alan Embree '03 (embreal01)
MR Derek Lowe '98 (lowede01)
LR Derek Lowe '03 (lowede01)

AAA Scott Hatteberg '98 (hattesc01)
AAA Mike Boddicker '88 (boddimi01)
AAA Scott Williamson '03 (willisc01)
AAA Mo Vaughn '98 (vaughmo01)
AAA Freddy Sanchez '03 (sanchfr01)


Lineup vs R:

CF Damon '03
3B Boggs '88
DH Ortiz '03
LF Ramirez '03
1B Vaughn '93
SS Nomar '98
RF Nixon '03
C Varitek '98
2B Valentin '93

Lineup vs L:

CF Damon '03
3B Boggs '88
RF Evans '88
LF Ramirez '03
DH Ortiz '03
SS Nomar '98
C Varitek '03
1B Vaugn '93
2B Valentin '93

Pitching:

SP1 Pedro '98
SP2 Clemens '88
SP3 Pedro '03
SP4 Clemens '93
SP5 Saberhagen '98

CL Smith '88
SU Gordon '98
SR Timlin '03
SR Embree '03
MR Lowe '98
LR Lowe '03

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



A Red Sox team with no Yaz, Fisk, or Teddy Ballgame?

Mmmk.

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Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

Gaze in awe and horror at the Florida Blobfish:

http://tinyurl.com/jeff-loria-is-bad

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