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Rumda
Nov 4, 2009

Moth Lesbian Comrade
well theres still more than enough people that post in both here and in bss to get the joke

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Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Rumda posted:

well theres still more than enough people that post in both here and in bss to get the joke
Evidently not.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Anyway, does anyone have some hot tips regarding the management of marriages?

I have a bunch of single kinsmen and kinswomen hanging around my court, but marrying each and everyone of them to NON-dynasty members (because I'm a modern man) seems pretty tedious. If I do, then I'll have to repeat the process with their children and probably run out of lowborn courtiers, and have to spend a lot of money recruiting more debutantes and noblemen. Also, the amount of clicking that will be involved, choosing educators for the all of the sprogs... There isn't a way to automate that, is there?

But on the other hand, having a huge and sprawling dynasty tree will allow me to give newly conquered counties to family members without having to worry about them having claims on their neighbours. That means a permanent +5 relations with my vassals, plus improve the entire dynasty's prestige.

Also, with the changes to vassal levies, it seems like alliances are much more important than they were before. I used to have all of my daughters matrilineally marry random nobodies, but now I'm considering actually using them to forge bonds with strong kingdoms instead. Anyone want to weigh in here?

Strudel Man
May 19, 2003
ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Jay Rust posted:

Anyway, does anyone have some hot tips regarding the management of marriages?

I have a bunch of single kinsmen and kinswomen hanging around my court, but marrying each and everyone of them to NON-dynasty members (because I'm a modern man) seems pretty tedious. If I do, then I'll have to repeat the process with their children and probably run out of lowborn courtiers, and have to spend a lot of money recruiting more debutantes and noblemen. Also, the amount of clicking that will be involved, choosing educators for the all of the sprogs... There isn't a way to automate that, is there?
Not to automate, no. I typically marry them and then hand them land at the next available opportunity, which stops you from having to deal personally with their children, and advances your dynasty's position in the world.

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012

Jay Rust posted:

Anyway, does anyone have some hot tips regarding the management of marriages?

Just do it by gut feeling for maximum !!FUN!!

Serious talk: you don't need to marry off relatives who are in other courts, which is standard if your siblings/children are landed. If you're just getting marriages to get it done, try getting them married to Grey Eminences for maximum educators, since unless you have something special in mind, the "pick an educator" process is as simple as clicking on somebody with Grey Eminence. There's more nuance than that (you might want to avoid Cruel people, since they'll always go for the mean education choices), but generally you're good to go.

As for your daughters, a good strategy is to get them matrilineally married to some prince who's fourth in the succession to something good, because the AI will go for it, and every so often enough of his siblings will die to put him on the throne, with your grandkids in line to succeed. When that happens though, you'll need to make sure that the grandkids aren't married off matrilineally out of spite, because the AI will pretty much always do this.

Toadsniff
Apr 10, 2006

Fire Down Below: Crab Company 2
If you think marrying them all off is tedious, finding unmarried people that are 4th in line of succession is even more so. I'd recommend just marrying your daughters off to some kings just so you have them in your back pocket when poo poo goes down. Avoid marrying your family off to nobodies if you can help it.

I don't even bother with kinsfolk seriously they are worthless.

duralict
Sep 18, 2007

this isn't hug club at all
If it's just because you want to give titles to dynasts, just start doing that. Once they have their own titles they'll take care of their own kids and marriages.

I pretty much always keep my current character's kids unlanded so when a succession happens I can immediately have the new guy give away titles to all his brothers and get them to like him. Other than that, giving away land is pretty much a matter of opening the family tree and looking for dudes who aren't already rulers or heirs - as long as they're somewhere in your territory you can always grant them titles, and it's usually not very hard to invite unlanded/non-heir dynasty members from other branches into your court.

Roumba
Jun 29, 2005
Buglord
One of my favorite 'Uhh poo poo, something slipped through the cracks, let's see how that will end up loving us' situations in this game is when I go to investigate an astranged relative who has ascended to title and somehow they've married my great aunt who's also 24 years their senior.

Kilonum
Sep 30, 2002

You know where you are? You're in the suburbs, baby. You're gonna drive.

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=160906343

Dedication.

PleasingFungus
Oct 10, 2012
idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Rumda posted:

Serriously do I need to edit a big flashing sign that says :siren::siren:CLICK TO GET THE JOKE:siren::siren: I mean I even linked to the post...

Something odd happened to your link, at least for me...



It looks like putting a sub tag around a url works, but putting a url around a sub fucks up the underlining and the blue-colored text that normally indicate a link.

That probably didn't help your joke. :)


If you haven't been playing for at least that long, what are you doing posting in this thread? :colbert:

PureRok
Mar 27, 2010

Good as new.
I base my marriage decisions on how attractive the image is for the person.

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010


I was taking a look at the events related to this, and this looks even more hilarious. Let's say you decided to blind, castrate, maim, render incapable, make syphilitic, and imprison your suspected demon child. Guess what, in about 24 months they'll be perfectly healthy again, and out of prison.

Sadly, there can only ever be one demon child per game, and with a 500 year MTTH, you probably won't even get it every game. Looks like fun though when it does fire off. I might manually fire it for my first game, so my first heir ends up as a demon spawn.

PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

PureRok posted:

I base my marriage decisions on how attractive the image is for the person.

No fat chicks.

ThomasPaine
Feb 4, 2009

We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

PureRok posted:

I base my marriage decisions on how attractive the image is for the person.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I do this too. I get disproportionately angry when the potential spouse I find has a set of amazing traits including 'attractive' but then her portrait looks like a cut extra from Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs.

e: Also calling it that the Celtic facepack has the most attractive ladies.

Stevefin
Sep 30, 2013

Toadsniff posted:

In my Irish-Jew game last night I finally became the King of Ireland, right as it activated my brother (and Earl of Ossory) started a faction, with only himself and the readout was that he had 106% of my total levies... Needless to say he rose up in arms and had nearly 3000 soldiers to my 2700 :stare: (I control 3 castles directly). Well some mercenaries and a chancellor for a few years reduced him down to 50% but god drat if that number doesn't at all seem right for one province. I think in my entire kingdom I'm only pushing 700 total vassal levies. Granted most people are having trouble accepting a Jew as their liege lord, but I did manage to convert half the populace to my religion.

It may have to do there is a new modifier on capitals, the capital of said person gains a huge army size buff. 50%, he than could of had a very build up castle and a semi Joan like person with high military raising troops and a high martial skill himself

Stevefin fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Nov 22, 2013

Notorious b.s.d.
Jan 25, 2003

by Reene

grancheater posted:

I think it's 60 to prevent them from joining, 80 to get them to leave a faction once they join.


Was he a king? Because kings have ~special kingly rules~

I've had vassals with 100 relation join factions. There's clearly way more involved than just how much your vassals like you.

alcaras
Oct 3, 2013

noli timere

DStecks posted:

Serious talk: you don't need to marry off relatives who are in other courts, which is standard if your siblings/children are landed. If you're just getting marriages to get it done, try getting them married to Grey Eminences for maximum educators, since unless you have something special in mind, the "pick an educator" process is as simple as clicking on somebody with Grey Eminence. There's more nuance than that (you might want to avoid Cruel people, since they'll always go for the mean education choices), but generally you're good to go.

(potentially dumb) question: Why Grey Eminences over the others, particularly Midas Touched?

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
Diplomacy is the most useful stat in the most situations, and Grey Eminence comes with a fertility boost to boot. It's not always the best stat to focus on, but it's almost always at least second best.

Datasmurf
Jan 19, 2009

Carpe Noctem
So yesterday I started up a jewish game. Started as a Khazar, worked my way down to Arabia and got Jerusalem and all that jazz just so I could make the Kingdom of Israel, build the third temple and get zealots. Everything's fine and dandy and I'm always out conquering new stuff and fighting with the muslims. Then year 1000 comes around and I'm over in Italy fighting for control of the country when the Seljuk's come.

And drat, do they come in a huge loving deathstack which my levies, zealots and mercs can't handle at all. I got my rear end handed to me, to say the least.



That's a 392,4K stack and a 1241,9K stack. After taking my Khazarian empire (which I had more or less abandoned for Arabia), they split up in smaller deathstacks and started attacking Arabia.




And in the middle of all this, my game started lagging. Really bad. Like having 1 FPS or something. No idea what caused it, but it's still lagging, 10 years after I got my rear end handed to me by Seljuks and after I conquered half of Italy. It's very frustrating. Rebooting the game or the computer does nothing, and if I load an old save from before it started lagging, that too will lag.

If I load another save not related to my jew game, it'll be okay. Same if I start a new game, no lag what so ever.
Still very infuriating, I want to play with my jews!

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

Cease to Hope posted:

Diplomacy is the most useful stat in the most situations, and Grey Eminence comes with a fertility boost to boot. It's not always the best stat to focus on, but it's almost always at least second best.

10% fertility for Grey Eminence is pretty sweet
15% fertility for Midas Touched is even better
+0.5 health for Brilliant Strategist helps you live a little longer
Elusive Shadow has no bonus to health/fertility
-5% fertility for Mastermind Theologian makes it a bad choice for anyone that you would potentially want to have children. But it means you can use it to slightly sabotage the heirs of your vassals, in the hope that they have fewer children themselves.

Other than those, the 4th tier education traits all give a total of +12 to stats, so any of them are going to be better than nothing. I do love Grey Eminence for anyone in my dynasty that is likely to rule however, because making people happy is the name of the game when it comes to this time period.

James The 1st
Feb 23, 2013
What do you guys think of the levy changes? There seems to be some imbalances. For one, factions have the same power calculation logic, so they are much more powerful compared to you then previously.

Going off what I've seen people post at Paradox, it also seems that having lots of counts is the best way to go for bigger levies, as dukes give less then counts and same for kings.

James The 1st fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Nov 22, 2013

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
Jews currently break Horde invasions. No, the Seljuks are not supposed to have a half million goddamned men.

Mailer
Nov 4, 2009

Have you accepted The Void as your lord and savior?
Previously I've always made it a priority to head up to medium CA. This game I kept it limited (securing Primo in my original duchy was a wise move) and things are hilarious. Constant little wars as dukes fight for claims only to have them stripped and distributed because the other dukes don't like their power. Troops without a coastal duchy in Jerusalem/England will raise all their levies and run around in circles because they're too dumb to rent boats. Everyone loves me and no one starts factions because they're too busy plotting against each other.

Is there a way, as king of Ireland and England, to say "I want these counties in England that show up as Irish territory to be English"? I suppose I could hand off the kingdom to my heir and then transfer all the vassals, but I'm hoping to do it without giving my wonderson enough rope to hang himself.

Stevefin posted:

It may have to do there is a new modifier on capitals, the capital of said person gains a huge army size buff. 50%, he than could of had a very build up castle and a semi Joan like person with high military raising troops

Ossory pulling 3k in the opening years of the game is pretty insane even with perfect circumstances. Maybe mercs were involved?

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

Cease to Hope posted:

Jews currently break Horde invasions. No, the Seljuks are not supposed to have a half million goddamned men.

I thought the Beta patch fixed this?

Datasmurf
Jan 19, 2009

Carpe Noctem

Cease to Hope posted:

Jews currently break Horde invasions. No, the Seljuks are not supposed to have a half million goddamned men.

Tell me about it. :|

Antinumeric
Nov 27, 2010

BoxGiraffe

Datasmurf posted:

So yesterday I started up a jewish game. Started as a Khazar, worked my way down to Arabia and got Jerusalem and all that jazz just so I could make the Kingdom of Israel, build the third temple and get zealots. Everything's fine and dandy and I'm always out conquering new stuff and fighting with the muslims. Then year 1000 comes around and I'm over in Italy fighting for control of the country when the Seljuk's come.

And drat, do they come in a huge loving deathstack which my levies, zealots and mercs can't handle at all. I got my rear end handed to me, to say the least.



That's a 392,4K stack and a 1241,9K stack. After taking my Khazarian empire (which I had more or less abandoned for Arabia), they split up in smaller deathstacks and started attacking Arabia.




And in the middle of all this, my game started lagging. Really bad. Like having 1 FPS or something. No idea what caused it, but it's still lagging, 10 years after I got my rear end handed to me by Seljuks and after I conquered half of Italy. It's very frustrating. Rebooting the game or the computer does nothing, and if I load an old save from before it started lagging, that too will lag.

If I load another save not related to my jew game, it'll be okay. Same if I start a new game, no lag what so ever.
Still very infuriating, I want to play with my jews!

I think the Seljuks invading with an army of over a million men might just be a bit of a bug.

El Pollo Blanco
Jun 12, 2013

by sebmojo

Datasmurf posted:

So yesterday I started up a jewish game. Started as a Khazar, worked my way down to Arabia and got Jerusalem and all that jazz just so I could make the Kingdom of Israel, build the third temple and get zealots. Everything's fine and dandy and I'm always out conquering new stuff and fighting with the muslims. Then year 1000 comes around and I'm over in Italy fighting for control of the country when the Seljuk's come.

And drat, do they come in a huge loving deathstack which my levies, zealots and mercs can't handle at all. I got my rear end handed to me, to say the least.


That's a 392,4K stack and a 1241,9K stack. After taking my Khazarian empire (which I had more or less abandoned for Arabia), they split up in smaller deathstacks and started attacking Arabia.



And in the middle of all this, my game started lagging. Really bad. Like having 1 FPS or something. No idea what caused it, but it's still lagging, 10 years after I got my rear end handed to me by Seljuks and after I conquered half of Italy. It's very frustrating. Rebooting the game or the computer does nothing, and if I load an old save from before it started lagging, that too will lag.

If I load another save not related to my jew game, it'll be okay. Same if I start a new game, no lag what so ever.
Still very infuriating, I want to play with my jews!

So I did something similar to you, but when the Seljuks spawned in, all my count vassals in the area from the middle Anatolia to way up next to Perm all got 42k horse archer retinues, which they then stomped the Seljuks with. However, after that, I was left with a bunch of super powered, three times my max levy limit, horse archer retinues for EVERY COUNT IN MY REALM. As soon as a faction would start, they'd just get like 500% power. I got annoyed, so switched to each count and disbanded the retinues, but it's a really weird system of dealing with the Seljuk invasion.

catlord
Mar 22, 2009

What's on your mind, Axa?

Cease to Hope posted:

Jews currently break Horde invasions. No, the Seljuks are not supposed to have a half million goddamned men.

So, how did that happen? I was under the impression that the religion files and the horde invasion files were no, in any way, connected.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

catlord posted:

So, how did that happen? I was under the impression that the religion files and the horde invasion files were no, in any way, connected.

Nazi time travelers.

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.

Does that one stack have -793k troops :psyduck:

grancheater
May 1, 2013

Wine'em, dine'em, 69'em

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

I've had vassals with 100 relation join factions. There's clearly way more involved than just how much your vassals like you.

I just mentioned kings because I remember having issues with them, including them joining factions even at 100 relations. The conditions are gigantic blocks of stuff, there are 200 lines for creating a faction and another 300 for joining one, and that is just for independence factions.

El Pollo Blanco
Jun 12, 2013

by sebmojo
Vassals join/do not leave factions at anything above 70 positive relations if they have the Ambitious trait, and I think the Deceitful trait also has a slightly lesser effect than ambitious, and content does the opposite, I think, and makes a much lesser relations requirement required for leaving/not joining factions.

EasternBronze
Jul 19, 2011

I registered for the Selective Service! I'm also racist as fuck!
:downsbravo:
Don't forget to ignore me!
Paradox, you were doing so well! Now we are at the previous patch cycle of two steps forward one step back. My decision to hold off on this DLC was well founded it seems. Did anyone at the office even play a single game of this before they shipped it out? The pope was a major focus of this Dlc and it seems like they just threw it out there without even playing through it once. These kinds of issues arent exactly the kind of subtle bugs that will just slip through a couple of play throughs.

Zurai
Feb 13, 2012


Wait -- I haven't even voted in this game yet!

Captain Novolin posted:

Does that one stack have -793k troops :psyduck:

Ah, that reveals the solution! You have a 3/4 million stack of anti-troops. Mash them into the 1.2 million stack of troops the Seljuks have and the resultant matter-antimatter explosion will annihilate the galaxy and result in a white peace.

alcaras
Oct 3, 2013

noli timere
So how do I get rid of an antipope?



I got the normal pope and Catholicism up to 100% MA, but there Antipope is still there, antipoping it up.

Gwyrgyn Blood
Dec 17, 2002

duralict posted:

Order him to take monk vows instead, that'll disinherit him.

Okay next stupid question, how do I go about doing this? Playing this Vanilla if it makes any difference.

NihilCredo
Jun 6, 2011

iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

I've had vassals with 100 relation join factions. There's clearly way more involved than just how much your vassals like you.

To add another piece of evidence, I made my son into a goddamn king and that +530 relations bonus still didn't stop him from supporting a random cousin for the throne of Rus.


e: on an unrelated note, I'd like to check: I'm on Ultimogeniture, my youngest of several sons had a son, and the baby instantly became the new heir. That's not supposed to happen, is it?

NihilCredo fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Nov 22, 2013

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012

alcaras posted:

(potentially dumb) question: Why Grey Eminences over the others, particularly Midas Touched?

Like Cease to Hope said, Diplomacy is just a good all-around stat. Picking a Grey Eminence for your educator isn't always the best decision, but it's never the wrong decision. Besides, you said these are just people you're marrying off for the sake of doing it, and increasing the number of Grey Eminences in your family is never a bad thing. Elusive Shadows... that can be dangerous. I would generally advise against filling your court with people who have super-high intrigue, but it isn't something that's ever bitten me directly in the rear end.


NihilCredo posted:

To add another piece of evidence, I made my son a motherfucking king and that +530 relations bonus still didn't stop him from supporting a random cousin for the throne of Rus.

Like I was saying earlier, this is just another reason why the faction system needs to be more fully integrated with the other game systems. You'd think it was something that just got added recently, not something that's been in the game for over a year.

Some more spitballed ideas for integrating factions: Diplomatically persuade a faction-backed claimant to renounce their claim on your title, perhaps in exchange for a landed title if they lack one. Start a war against your vassal with a "Force out of faction" cassus belli, at a huge tyranny hit and the possibility that the faction will immediately press their request. Start a plot to increase the odds that your liege will simply acquiesce to the faction's demands rather than start a civil war. There are dozens of ways you could integrate factions into the CKII dynamic of Diplomacy, Intrigue, War; and it's boggling that Paradox didn't go for any of them.

Ofaloaf
Feb 15, 2013

So how deep into naming does everyone get nowadays? I just played as a zealous Catholic king with sons named Quodvultdeus (the zealous king had just participated in a Crusade and had gallivanted in the Maghreb a bit), Theodorich (grandfather's name) and Temperantulus (such a calm and chivalrous lad he'll be!). Naturally Quodvultdeus died and Theodorich became king, but li'l Temperant's probably going to be given his own kingdom here soon so that's all good.

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MatchaZed
Feb 14, 2010

We Can Do It!


Rumda posted:

Right but the ancient religions, should really be a sub-mod not integrated directly in, and I've said I really like that and the additional objectives mods.

I don't know, I mean if it's unlikely enough I don't see the problem with it being in? I can see if it's popping up every time that doesn't make any loving sense. But if MA is 20 or less, yeah sure.

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