Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Excelzior posted:

Who cares about those times? This is Crusader Kings, not Peaceful Conflict Resolution Kings.

Besides, there WERE dozens of civil wars in the Middle ages in the Byzantine empire alone. What's your point?

Because it sucks and isn't fun.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:08

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# ? May 31, 2024 08:19

Demiurge4: Aug 10, 2011

Right now the integration of the dungeons and sieges mod in CK2+ is a deal breaker for me. It's horribly unbalanced. If you're not familiar with it, what it does is let you imprison entire families with the touch of a button when you siege down a castle. I was bugging Venice with my viking raiders as I always do, and I grabbed the serene doge and 6 of his family members in a single siege, ridiculous.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:10

Bishop Rodan: Dec 5, 2011; See you in the funny papers, liebchen!

Demiurge4 posted:

Right now the integration of the dungeons and sieges mod in CK2+ is a deal breaker for me. It's horribly unbalanced. If you're not familiar with it, what it does is let you imprison entire families with the touch of a button when you siege down a castle. I was bugging Venice with my viking raiders as I always do, and I grabbed the serene doge and 6 of his family members in a single siege, ridiculous.

On the bright side, Odin will be very pleased when the next Blot comes around. :black101:

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:12

Iseeyouseemeseeyou: Jan 3, 2011

I've been playing the Duke of Ferrara for 200 years now and my current ruler is a genius :toot:

- this is vanilla fyi

He has 5 kids - the first was born a weakling and wasn't very promising. My first daughter (Felicia) was a genius, second daughter was attractive, second and third sons were geniuses :drat:

I was also able to score a matrilineal marriage between my first daughter and the HRE's brother+heir & they were able to produce an heir before he jumped ship to join some order.

Question: Her husband's liege no longer shows his order's leader, rather the HRE. How/Why do characters leave orders after joining them? They've already been disinherited + celibate.

Also, forcing your brothers to become monks after they've produced kids and you've killed their wives is an amazing way to prevent your nephews/nieces from getting claims.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:15

Antinumeric: Nov 27, 2010; BoxGiraffe

Every time a new ruler comes to the throne in my empire some faction with 1 member declares revolt. Then every single noble in my realm joins it. Even the ones with 70+ relations. I was able to put it down before but this time I was in the middle of a holy war and my 6k stack got obliterated when attacked across a river in mountains?

Just gave up on that ironman game.

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:28

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

Is there any way to get rid of Voice of Satan?

# ? Nov 23, 2013 23:31

Maarek: Jun 9, 2002; Your silence only incriminates you further.

Demiurge4 posted:

Right now the integration of the dungeons and sieges mod in CK2+ is a deal breaker for me. It's horribly unbalanced. If you're not familiar with it, what it does is let you imprison entire families with the touch of a button when you siege down a castle. I was bugging Venice with my viking raiders as I always do, and I grabbed the serene doge and 6 of his family members in a single siege, ridiculous.

Wow, you weren't kidding. Why the hell would they integrate something like that? Is it at least an option that can be disabled on game launch?

# ? Nov 24, 2013 00:21

Knuc U Kinte: Aug 17, 2004

Antinumeric posted:

Every time a new ruler comes to the throne in my empire some faction with 1 member declares revolt. Then every single noble in my realm joins it. Even the ones with 70+ relations. I was able to put it down before but this time I was in the middle of a holy war and my 6k stack got obliterated when attacked across a river in mountains?

Just gave up on that ironman game.

I've been able to reduce revolts by literally never touching my demesne troops outside of an emergency that threatens my territorial integrity so I remain at max strength during succession giving me a chance to please vassals before they decide to fire the faction. I've been using Varangians to buff my retinues, but it could work as another culture if you made more use of vassal levies (I've only been using them for wars holy wars against the Muslim Blobs and HRE). I know using Byz isn't the best test case for this because their retinues are incredibly overpowered, but I'm sure it could work with some clever rotating of demesne troops too, rather than just abandoning them completely like I have.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 00:25

duralict: Sep 18, 2007; this isn't hug club at all

BBJoey posted:

So who was the idiot that decided that giving random nations in the steppe thousands of event troops for no reason was a good idea? At what point did some guy at Paradox decide "hmm, I don't think you should be able to play as the Khazars so I'll just double the free troops the nearby tribes get"? Because I really can't frame that decision as anything but a kick in the teeth to anyone who actually wanted to play as a Jewish leader.

It's a bug they supposedly fixed in the latest patch. Something about having Jewish rulers around made the code spit out huge numbers of event troops to desert and steppe people.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 01:15

fool of sound: Oct 10, 2012

Knuc If U Buck posted:

I've been able to reduce revolts by literally never touching my demesne troops outside of an emergency that threatens my territorial integrity so I remain at max strength during succession giving me a chance to please vassals before they decide to fire the faction. I've been using Varangians to buff my retinues, but it could work as another culture if you made more use of vassal levies (I've only been using them for wars holy wars against the Muslim Blobs and HRE). I know using Byz isn't the best test case for this because their retinues are incredibly overpowered, but I'm sure it could work with some clever rotating of demesne troops too, rather than just abandoning them completely like I have.

I have a HRE game going right now (Old Gods start), and I basically had to stop expansion (other than the occasional du jure duchy claim) for about 150 years after I finished murdering my way to inheriting all the Karling lands; I was way too busy putting down rebellions, trying to increase crown authority, and managing Elective succession. Once I got up to Military Organization 3, I was more or less stable, and at MilOrg 4 I was able to successfully expand using my retinues.

I also found that under the new outflanking rules, a pure Knight retinue center with Shock retinue flanks absolutely destroys just about anything other than Horse Archers, and can hold it's own even then. The Knights use the cultural tactics for massive offense bonuses, break the center, and quickly double team down each flank in turn.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 01:29

grancheater: May 1, 2013; Wine'em, dine'em, 69'em

Mongol status: Still the best (demesne limit). 1378.

Got the achievement for controlling Rome, Jerusalem, Mecca and Medina; reformed the pagan faith, became the Saoshyant; created the Kingdom of Israel; went on a pilgrimage; 10k piety/15k prestige/20k wealth; Royal, Dragon and Divine Blood and finally Khan of Khans, which if I'm read the achievement file correctly has an incorrect description: You don't need to conquer continental Western Europe, you need to conquer all continental Europe.

e: Except Scandinavia :v:

grancheater fucked around with this message at 02:29 on Nov 24, 2013

# ? Nov 24, 2013 01:59

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

So basically the work around for the faction issue is to just simply have no vassals. Nice.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 02:02

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

Any idea on how to play from Erik the Heathen for maximum Norse mischief? In every single game, the King of Sweden will revoke and imprison you into extinction. Fighting him isn't possible, since you have maybe 1000 levies max, while Sweden can raise 3000-4000 and call in Denmark or Norway. Expanding aggressively into nearby pagan lands is limited due to a lot of them having garrisons equal to your levies, and supply limits smaller than the garrisons. And of course half the time your own Norse vassals will betray you.

The most success I had was when the Stenkils were really lovely kings and Erik was awesome, so for a year every few weeks there would be a cycle of bloodless faction-powered coups between Erik and Stenkil, but that eventually ended when my aunt pressed her claim and the entry of a third party just ruined everything.

Starting in the War of the Two Eriks is even worse because it's immediately your tiny lovely levy against the combined armies of Catholic Scandinavia.

Skellybones fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Nov 24, 2013

# ? Nov 24, 2013 02:35

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Could someone give me some tips to play as the Khazars? I get DoWed in a month and they got twice as many event troops.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 05:39

Stevefin: Sep 30, 2013

RagnarokAngel posted:

Could someone give me some tips to play as the Khazars? I get DoWed in a month and they got twice as many event troops.

You have to save and start scam a lot for what I hear, and its more of a race to new lands, than holding the hordes off

# ? Nov 24, 2013 06:41

algebra testes: Mar 5, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Excelzior posted:

Who cares about those times? This is Crusader Kings, not Peaceful Conflict Resolution Kings.

Besides, there WERE dozens of civil wars in the Middle ages in the Byzantine empire alone. What's your point?

Alternative Dispute Resolution Kings. ADR King for short.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 06:53

Cease to Hope: Dec 12, 2011

RagnarokAngel posted:

Could someone give me some tips to play as the Khazars? I get DoWed in a month and they got twice as many event troops.

My best start with them so far made a beeline for the Baltic. Anytime the lands of a defensive pagan are held by someone who can't defend them (usually the wrong sort of defensive pagan, but sometimes Norse or Christian rulers), you should be attacking that. Proto-Rus and proto-Ruthenia tend to do this a lot. Anyone you can't practically attack, try and convert. You want to get the gently caress away from the Black and Caspian seas, because they're about to get run over by Maygars/Hungarians, Seljuks, and the Byzantines if they can keep their act together. If you can make it to Ruthenia/Lithuania and get yourself established there, you're probably okay. Poland may be a problem but they're almost always a basket case. Scandinavia shakes out so many different ways from an 867 start that you'll have to play it by ear: you might get to pick on Sweden, or they may be a constant regional threat, who knows. The Golden Horde will be a problem, but they always are for anyone east of Hungary.

If this plan fails, you want to swear fealty to a lovely pagan blob. Hungary and Cumania can both work. It's not easy to be the vassal of a heathen ruler, but they can't force you to convert, either, and they'll give you a relatively safe umbrella against anyone but the real hordes. It does mean you can't holy war with impunity, but you can still pick on your neighbors (and holy war them if they revolt!). You can swear fealty to the Byzantines or the Seljuks, but then you're on a clock to get converted, and they can both ramp up crown authority to make gobbling up neighbors harder. You still have to figure out how you're getting out of the area, because the hordes will be a problem.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 07:43

SurgicalOntologist: Jun 17, 2004

I finally picked up Old Gods, and tried out the Ivar the Boneless start... talk about easy mode.

Ivar lived to the ripe old age of 93 and had 16 children, outliving the oldest 5. He had 24K prestige and 7K piety.

He created 7 kingdoms (usurped 1) with enough provinces to create an 8th, and was 2 provinces short of being able to form a second empire. He reformed the Norse religion and fended off a crusade, leading an army at age 90.

The kings of Scotland and Ireland are now at -100, sot his succession should be interesting...

# ? Nov 24, 2013 07:58

TinTower: Apr 21, 2010; You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

grancheater posted:

Mongol status: Still the best (demesne limit). 1378.

Got the achievement for controlling Rome, Jerusalem, Mecca and Medina; reformed the pagan faith, became the Saoshyant; created the Kingdom of Israel; went on a pilgrimage; 10k piety/15k prestige/20k wealth; Royal, Dragon and Divine Blood and finally Khan of Khans, which if I'm read the achievement file correctly has an incorrect description: You don't need to conquer continental Western Europe, you need to conquer all continental Europe.

e: Except Scandinavia

From the achievements file! :eng101:

code:

# "Khan of Khans" - Conquer continental Western Europe as the Mongol Empire, starting in "The Mongols" bookmark.
KHAN_OF_KHANS = {
	possible = {
		is_ironman = yes
		start_date = 1220.2.1
		character = 125501
	}
	
	happened = {
		has_landed_title = e_mongol_empire
		
		completely_controls = e_russia
		completely_controls = e_tartaria
		completely_controls = e_wendish_empire
		completely_controls = e_carpathia
		completely_controls = e_hre
		completely_controls = e_italia
		completely_controls = e_byzantium
		completely_controls = e_france
		completely_controls = e_spain
	}
}

Which means you need Anatolia too.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 08:12

Jay Rust: Sep 27, 2011

Does picking the "Have a Son/Daughter" ambition boost fertility? Seems like it does, but I can't say for certain...

# ? Nov 24, 2013 09:49

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

Think its just confirmation bias.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 09:50

Allyn: Sep 4, 2007; I love Charlie from Busted!

Jay Rust posted:

Does picking the "Have a Son/Daughter" ambition boost fertility? Seems like it does, but I can't say for certain...

It is not confirmation bias, it does have a hidden fertility boost of 25%, according to CK2\common\objectives\00_ambitions.txt .

# ? Nov 24, 2013 10:46

Knuc U Kinte: Aug 17, 2004

SurgicalOntologist posted:

I finally picked up Old Gods, and tried out the Ivar the Boneless start... talk about easy mode.

Ivar lived to the ripe old age of 93 and had 16 children, outliving the oldest 5. He had 24K prestige and 7K piety.

He created 7 kingdoms (usurped 1) with enough provinces to create an 8th, and was 2 provinces short of being able to form a second empire. He reformed the Norse religion and fended off a crusade, leading an army at age 90.

The kings of Scotland and Ireland are now at -100, sot his succession should be interesting...

Crusades don't start until 1100.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 11:41

Allyn: Sep 4, 2007; I love Charlie from Busted!

Knuc If U Buck posted:

Crusades don't start until 1100.

This was changed in SoA, they can now be opened up earlier if an extreme event occurs. For instance I saw Jihads available as soon as I took Jerusalem in 1067 as a Jewish ruler (cheated to get there, was just taking a look around some of the new featuers).

# ? Nov 24, 2013 11:53

El Pollo Blanco: Jun 12, 2013; by sebmojo

Allyn posted:

This was changed in SoA, they can now be opened up earlier if an extreme event occurs. For instance I saw Jihads available as soon as I took Jerusalem in 1067 as a Jewish ruler (cheated to get there, was just taking a look around some of the new featuers).

Does save scumming count as cheating?

# ? Nov 24, 2013 12:01

Darth Various: Oct 23, 2010

Shadeoses posted:

Any idea on how to play from Erik the Heathen for maximum Norse mischief?

The least annoying way I found was to not be Erik The Heathen but rather one of the two independent Norse counts in Norrland. (The third is Suomenusko/Finnish Pagan IIRC.) Raid OPMs to get gold for mercs, unite the three counties in Norrland with those mercs, then ignore the rest of Sweden as you sail off to unite Ireland in ten years with County conquest.

Then try to take Scotland in a prepared invasion, but you have to chip away a bit at their realm and grant it independence so neither you nor it goes over 40 holdings. All this time you're hoping you don't get bullshit peasant revolts with more troops than there are people in Ireland, or the HRE notices you and decides it wants one of your duchies.

This all relies on the fact that yes, the Swedish King will kick Erik the Heathen in the balls until he ragequits, but the AI isn't (wasn't?) smart enough to Holy War two rinkydink Norse counts it could crush like a bug. Maybe that changed in the latest patch? Then you're screwed.

Darth Various fucked around with this message at 12:29 on Nov 24, 2013

# ? Nov 24, 2013 12:27

Allyn: Sep 4, 2007; I love Charlie from Busted!

El Pollo Blanco posted:

Does save scumming count as cheating?

Probably but who cares, just play however you most enjoy playing :shobon:

# ? Nov 24, 2013 12:33

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

Darth Various posted:

The least annoying way I found was to not be Erik The Heathen but rather one of the two independent Norse counts in Norrland. (The third is Suomenusko/Finnish Pagan IIRC.) Raid OPMs to get gold for mercs, unite the three counties in Norrland with those mercs, then ignore the rest of Sweden as you sail off to unite Ireland in ten years with County conquest.

Then try to take Scotland in a prepared invasion, but you have to chip away a bit at their realm and grant it independence so neither you nor it goes over 40 holdings. All this time you're hoping you don't get bullshit peasant revolts with more troops than there are people in Ireland, or the HRE notices you and decides it wants one of your duchies.

This all relies on the fact that yes, the Swedish King will kick Erik the Heathen in the balls until he ragequits, but the AI isn't (wasn't?) smart enough to Holy War two rinkydink Norse counts it could crush like a bug. Maybe that changed in the latest patch? Then you're screwed.

My most recent attempt was also my best, but only through a bug. The pneumonic Stenkil died immediately, and his heir and Erik lived to 79. Right at the beginning of that reign, he attempted to revoke but the dialogue window didn't automatically time out, so I was basically immune to kingly interference until Erik eventually died. Norsification in that period was very slow due to everyone being randomly converted by priests after I installed them, and the nearby pagans were too well defended by their tiny supply levels to conquer. After about 100 years the last direct Norse descendants of Erik were evicted from �land.

Being the vassal of Sweden seems to be a huge limiter, so I'll try Norrland next, maybe. At least I'll be allowed to raid. I'll probably miss the protection from being holy warred :saddowns:

# ? Nov 24, 2013 12:53

Chickpea Roar: Jan 11, 2006; Merdre!

Darth Various posted:

This all relies on the fact that yes, the Swedish King will kick Erik the Heathen in the balls until he ragequits, but the AI isn't (wasn't?) smart enough to Holy War two rinkydink Norse counts it could crush like a bug. Maybe that changed in the latest patch? Then you're screwed.

My current game is well into the 13th century and V�sterbotten is still raiding Brugge regularly.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 14:01

Pump it up! Do it!: Oct 3, 2012

I thought you were supposed to get relationship bonuses and be able to get claims and poo poo if you got your bishops elevated to Pope, I have had three popes now and they haven't given me poo poo and the current one is my character's nephew of the same dynasty.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 15:33

Chickpea Roar: Jan 11, 2006; Merdre!

What the gently caress happened here?

I'd just finished helping my spouse the queen of France fight off a claimant, my genius daughter and designated heir was, as far as I know, in my court being educated by me, when I got this message. I've never been this angry at a fictional character. And I'm playing on ironman too :negative:

# ? Nov 24, 2013 15:53

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

I just reinstalled the game and I still can't pick a start date or a Republic, this is really starting to piss me off and I can't figure out why the gently caress.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 15:57

Tom Smykowski: Jan 27, 2005; What the hell is wrong with you people?

The Pope should like you more for doing Good-Catholic-Things.

I was tired of Catholicism having like 30 Moral Authority so I took out West Francia's Anti-Pope then began a 70 year effort to Holy War the Norse out of Britain. England and Skotland were fractured with random chunks belonging to Irland. After I took an independent Cornwall, England fractured into a mess of civil wars so it was smooth sailing for the most part.

I've single handily brought Catholicism to 100% Moral Authority. I dethroned the goddamn Anti-Pope. My current ruler is known as the Pious. And the Pope still thinks I'm a jerk.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 16:14

alcaras: Oct 3, 2013; noli timere

How do you remove an Antipope? I brought Catholic Moral Authority to 100% by winning Holy Wars, but there's still an Antipope.

alcaras fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Nov 24, 2013

# ? Nov 24, 2013 16:26

toasterwarrior: Nov 11, 2011

alcaras posted:

How do you remove an Antipope? I brought Catholic Moral Authority to 100% by winning Holy Wars, but there's still an Antipope.

~~With a knife in the dark, I imagine.~~

Welp, scratch that option then. I guess SoA changed a lot since I've played.

toasterwarrior fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Nov 24, 2013

# ? Nov 24, 2013 16:33

Tom Smykowski: Jan 27, 2005; What the hell is wrong with you people?

He was Archbishop or whatever of Reims in France. I tried stabbing him, but he was just replaced by a new guy. So I fabricated a claim on the county and took it that way. The King of France/West Francia was having trouble with unruly vassals so that was easy.

When the King accepted the peace, I got the county and the Antipope disappeared. I was worried he'd just move somewhere, but he doesn't show up anywhere.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 16:40

Mailer: Nov 4, 2009; Have you accepted The Void as your lord and savior?

Tom Smykowski posted:

The Pope should like you more for doing Good-Catholic-Things.

He does, it's just capped super low. No man shalt like another man more than +20. It's in the bible.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 17:05

Sistergodiva: Jan 3, 2006; I'm like you,
I have no shame.

So does ck2+ fix all the broken stuff in 2.0? It kinda feels unplayable with the low vassal levies.

Or is ck2+ is ruined like people seems to think, is there any other good mod that works with 2.0? How is PB or Viet?

# ? Nov 24, 2013 17:29

Marenghi: Oct 16, 2008; Don't trust the liberals,
they will betray you

I don't mind the new low vassals. I've been able to hold my realm together as king of Ireland and Wales by giving dynasty members positions of power and changing to elective succession. Not being able rely on your vassal armies just means building up a centralised power base under your own control. I own five developed castles in the counties of Tara and Connacht.
And the low vassal amounts has done wonders to keep Europe from blobbing under a Karling Frankia or HRE.

The only thing I haven't really figured out the point of yet is the college of cardinals. I stabbed and bribed my way to having 5 elected cardinals but the next pope is still an Italian. I thought they would vote together to get one elected but nope.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 18:02

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# ? May 31, 2024 08:19

Trilin: Dec 15, 2009; Ah! There he is!

God have mercy, James.

# ? Nov 24, 2013 18:14

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