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sweek0 posted:Just wondering if anyone has any good advice when it comes to being in a relationship with someone with a three yaar old? Is the father still around? If he doesn't know him, remember him, or even understand the concept of two parents yet, then I think it's easier. It's more difficult to be the "replacement" or stand-in parent for when the biological parent is not there at the moment. Surely he's a little confused right now and you do probably seem like someone taking his mother's attention. But then again, that also depends on how his mom handles him and their relationship, and his understanding of her role in his life and that she will always be there for him. I'd say that kids at 3 years don't really grow up remembering specific things in their lives, but if you're good to him (and his mother of course, in front of him), and around often, and create a positive feeling for him to associate you with, he will warm up to you. Also, how long before she introduced you to him? If she's dated other guys and he met them, that could muddy the waters a bit. But it sounds like that probably isn't the case since you say you're not open about dating in front of him.
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Dec 5, 2013 16:35
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greatn posted:Just curious on these sleep troubles, have those babies been getting any screen time? Not in our case. Aside from a handful of times doing Skype with relatives, he's probably had less than 30 minutes total of screen time between PC/phone/TV in his entire life. He did go through a period where he was obsessed with our CD player though. Lullabee posted:My 9 month old has started refusing baby food, but won't sit still long enough to eat what I consider to be enough of our food. Most times hell outright refuse it. He's also stopped really doing the 'pick up with hand and being to mouth' thing. He still picks stuff up, and occasionally he'll get it there, but he's just not interested in it anymore. The only thing I can get him to truly eat is yogurt. We went through this and what really helped was having the whole family sit down together and eat the same thing at the same time. Just him seeing us eating something makes him want to try it, and it especially helps if you take a bite (fake if you want) of his food before offering it to him. Another thing that helps is just putting a spoonful of food on his tray and letting him feed himself. But even with that, he did become a pickier eater around that time. I think the novelty of solids wears off and they start demanding a diet of dairy and fruit.
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Dec 5, 2013 17:10
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Papercut posted:Not in our case. Aside from a handful of times doing Skype with relatives, he's probably had less than 30 minutes total of screen time between PC/phone/TV in his entire life. He did go through a period where he was obsessed with our CD player though. Darn. Our baby is the same, but still sleeping very well. But he's only six months. I keep getting afraid his sleep is going to turn for the worse like a number of people here are experiencing, and am hoping him not having screen time would help. From every parent I've talked to it seems inevitable. My baby is obsessed with the monocle guy from the New Yorker, cell phones, and empty wipes containers, and a fiesta ware box. greatn fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Dec 5, 2013 |
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Dec 5, 2013 17:24
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greatn posted:Darn. Our baby is the same, but still sleeping very well. But he's only six months. I keep getting afraid his sleep is going to turn for the worse like a number of people here are experiencing, and am hoping him not having screen time would help. From every parent I've talked to it seems inevitable. It really is the luck of the draw I think. My youngest was sleeping great but now won't sleep unless she's being breastfed, wakes up multiple times a night and is just generally rubbish at sleeping. But her lifestyle, feeding habits and day to day activities are pretty much identical to her big brother who slept through the night from 6 weeks. Sometimes it just happens (but sometimes it doesn't).
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Dec 5, 2013 17:40
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Well my kid only woke up 3 times last night in addition to going to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual despite a giant snowplow outside his window and slept in an hour later than usual so I guess his exhaustion finally caught up to him. I feel so much better today.
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Dec 5, 2013 17:43
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What's your opinion on night lights? We weren't using them at first once he moved to his crib, but we put one in so we could see him without turning anything on. I don't think he particularly cares either way, but I vaguely recall hearing that they were bad for some reason.
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Dec 5, 2013 18:26
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I had a comical night last night. We have an 8,3,1, and a newborn. Thankfully they're normally great sleepers, but last night at about 1 while I was feeding the newborn, the 3 year old starts crying in his room that he shares with the 1 year old. He's still got his eyes closed but he's balling his little eyes out. I comfort him, but not quickly enough to avoid waking up the 1 year old. So now they're both screaming and I still have the newborn in my arms. So I moby wrap the baby and pick up the three year old and then the one year and we're all sitting on the floor rocking back and forth singing lullabies. I get them settled and put the three year old back to bed, but the one year old just will not go down. In my arms he passes out and is snoring on my shoulder, but as soon as I put him in his crib he's screaming. I repeated this three more times over the next hour and finally give up and take him to bed with me.
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Dec 5, 2013 18:42
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I figured out his problem - he's sick of being fed. He wants to do it himself. He ended up eating an entire slice of bread (torn into pieces) just now. I'm going to start cooking chicken to cube up and hard boiled eggs to go with it. I'm going to get avocado and hummus to spread on the bread, to give him more tastes, but what else could I give? We do diverse dinners, but I'm more looking for lunch ideas.
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Dec 5, 2013 20:42
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Lullabee posted:I figured out his problem - he's sick of being fed. He wants to do it himself. He ended up eating an entire slice of bread (torn into pieces) just now. I'm going to start cooking chicken to cube up and hard boiled eggs to go with it. I love this website for baby and toddler friendly ideas: http://weelicious.com. The Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook also has some tasty recipes. At that age, my son was pretty much being offered whatever we were eating, but in baby-friendly size morsels.
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Dec 5, 2013 21:10
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greatn posted:What's your opinion on night lights? Anecdotally speaking, our kid sleeps with much less interruption if we keep the bedroom perfectly dark. Which sucks for me because I like to sleep with the curtains open.
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Dec 5, 2013 23:58
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Lullabee posted:I figured out his problem - he's sick of being fed. He wants to do it himself. He ended up eating an entire slice of bread (torn into pieces) just now. I'm going to start cooking chicken to cube up and hard boiled eggs to go with it. Vivian was the same way. She got bored of purées quickly and wanted to feed herself. Avocado slices were and still are her favorite. Banana chunks, pears, roasted squash, anything kind of squishy. Now that she's older we will do pasta, bits of meat, even apples without the skin. Those food pouches were also great because she could feed herself but I didn't have to worry about choking.
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Dec 6, 2013 00:56
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Hi everyone. I'm hoping that someone may have experienced what my wife and I are going through now, and can offer some thoughts. About a week ago, my daughter (9 months old) picked up a small cold. She's coughing some and has had a stuffy nose, but otherwise she's been happy and hasn't had a fever (she was a little warm this morning, but she's been normal the rest of the time). The issue is that she is vomiting multiple times a day. If she eats any solid food, which she has been eating for a number of months, she'll projectile vomit. With formula she vomits less, but will still have issues a decent amount of the time. It usually starts by her coughing and then she seems to choke...once this happens, she'll usually projectile vomit at least 3-4 "heaves". Our pediatrician is out of town, but we took her to a doctor at his office. She didn't seem concerned at all, claiming it was probably a result of acid reflux (she had it as an infant, but has been off medicine for about 4 months now). Has anyone experienced this time of consistent vomiting from a cold? I am fairly positive the doctor was wrong and the acid reflux isn't the cause, but we put her on the meds for a few days just to rule out that issue. We're really worried about our daughter though. Unfortunately, none of the other offices in the area will take us because she isn't with a doctor and the urgent care/emergency room around here is extremely expensive with our insurance (when we took her in for pink eye, we ended up with a bill over $300).
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Dec 6, 2013 02:01
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Projectile vomit a few times a day doesn't seem normal to me. Is she wetting diapers? You'll want to make sure she's not getting dehydrated. I've never experienced this specific situation, but if your gut is telling you this isn't right, I'd get a second opinion. Is there another doctor at the office? When does your pediatrician get back?
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Dec 6, 2013 02:18
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Acrolos posted:Has anyone experienced this time of consistent vomiting from a cold? Yep. I know it's hard not to worry, but one of the best things you can learn to do is take your cue from your kid. If she's not in distress, then make sure she stays hydrated and just let things run their course. There's not much you can do otherwise.
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Dec 6, 2013 07:54
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Does the vomiting happen more in the morning or after naptimes? It's highly possible that the vomiting is being caused by post-nasal drip which is being swallowed and irritating the stomach mucosa. That happened on a few occasions to my kids, usually more often just after they'd woken up because everything was running down the back of their throats while they slept instead of out the nose.
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Dec 6, 2013 13:01
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Sigh. What is it with health care providers and advice you can't trust? Aaron had his 8 month check-up with the Public Health Nurse today. I'd hoped to get some good insight into his sleeping problems, but everything she went over is so contrary to all I've heard, and basic common sense, that I don't feel like I can trust any of her advice. First off was the feeding; she too stressed he should be eating three solid meals a day by now and that I should only breastfeed after solids and that his occasional constipation wasn't due to what he was eating, but to what I'm eating that's getting into my breast milk (never mind the fact that he never was constipated before he started solids). She said I need to get him out more to socialize with other kids in playgroups and stuff, which I agree with, but when I asked if there's anyway to help prevent him from getting a cold when he plays with other kids and communal toys (aside from not letting him put toys in his mouth, washing his hands right after, etc), she suggested that maybe we kept our apartment too hot and it was colder where the playgroups were held. Seriously? People that think getting cold causes a cold are a real pet peeve of mine, but how can you trust a health care worker that says something like that? As for the big issue, sleeping, she said I have to quit breastfeeding him at night cold turkey. I do think I feed him too much at night and he relies on that to get him back to sleep, but I don't know if that's what is waking him up in the first place. She did bring up something that got me thinking, though. We always put him to sleep on his back but often he'll turn over on his side or stomach. I thought the consensus was to always put them down on their back, but once they have good control over rolling onto their stomach and back onto their back again to not worry if they turn over onto their stomach to sleep. She said he shouldn't sleep on his stomach at all and to put a rolled up towel under the mattress to tilt it so he can't roll over. Can I get any insight on this from some non-crazy people?
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Dec 6, 2013 13:30
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substitute posted:Is the father still around? If he doesn't know him, remember him, or even understand the concept of two parents yet, then I think it's easier. It's more difficult to be the "replacement" or stand-in parent for when the biological parent is not there at the moment. Sorry, I should've explained this a bit more I think! Mother and father split up exactly a year ago. The kid (Felix) is with the father 2-3 days a week, rest of the time with the mother. I'm her first serious boyfriend since the break up with the father. The father also has a new girlfriend but keeps her completely separated from the kid. Felix (doesn't really understand the concept of his parents having split up quite yet. He'll still wake up and ask his mum where daddy is in the morning no matter how many times he's been told daddy doesn't live her any more. I get the feeling he might be picking up on some sort of chemistry between the mother and I though, although like I said we keep it hidden. We'll sometimes talk to each other in French instead of English when it's about stuff we don't want him to know about. He's generally fine with me when it's all of us playing together, but when it's him and me one on one it's really quite tricky and he seems scared.
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Dec 6, 2013 13:34
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An Cat Dubh posted:Sigh. What is it with health care providers and advice you can't trust? Wow. They sound like they haven't received any updated training on baby care since the 80's. Can you get a new health care provider?
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Dec 6, 2013 13:51
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I don't know about your eight month old, but I know a rolled up towel under my baby's mattress wouldn't do poo poo to stop him rolling over. It's have to be like a 45 degree incline. The first thing he does when I out him on his back is roll over and laugh at me, before I can even take a step backward. The first words he says are going to be "gently caress back sleep".
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Dec 6, 2013 14:02
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greatn posted:I don't know about your eight month old, but I know a rolled up towel under my baby's mattress wouldn't do poo poo to stop him rolling over. It's have to be like a 45 degree incline. The first thing he does when I out him on his back is roll over and laugh at me, before I can even take a step backward. The first words he says are going to be "gently caress back sleep". We put a rolled up towel under one end of our daughter's mattress when she's contested. The idea is that the slight incline will help everything flow downward and unclog her. We will discover that within hours, she has rolled down to the opposite end, facing the wrong direction, so that everything will flow up into her nose. Even sleeping, she defies us!
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Dec 6, 2013 14:11
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Alterian posted:Wow. They sound like they haven't received any updated training on baby care since the 80's. Can you get a new health care provider? Thankfully she's not his regular health care provider. The government (we're in Ireland) basically has Public Health Nurses make periodic checks on kids here as they grow up. At least it's free and he doesn't have to be seen again until between 18-24 months. He has a regular GP who he goes to for vaccinations and actual health care. I'd just hoped she's have a bit of helpful advice, but nope. greatn posted:I don't know about your eight month old, but I know a rolled up towel under my baby's mattress wouldn't do poo poo to stop him rolling over. It's have to be like a 45 degree incline. The first thing he does when I out him on his back is roll over and laugh at me, before I can even take a step backward. The first words he says are going to be "gently caress back sleep". I know, right? He already has trouble sleeping and trying to tilt his mattress is going to help that how...? An Cat Dubh fucked around with this message at 14:16 on Dec 6, 2013 |
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Dec 6, 2013 14:12
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Volmarias posted:We put a rolled up towel under one end of our daughter's mattress when she's contested. The idea is that the slight incline will help everything flow downward and unclog her. Last night I heard him whimpering and went to comfort him. By the time I got there he was perpendicular, tucked in one corner with his butt in the air, asleep. I came back a couple hours later and he was on the opposite end, on his side with his nose through the bars, still asleep. I wish his sleeper had a built in pedometer. He's like a god drat shark moving in his sleep.
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Dec 6, 2013 14:15
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An Cat Dubh posted:Thankfully she's not his regular health care provider. The government (we're in Ireland) basically has Public Health Nurses make periodic checks on kids here as they grow up. At least it's free and he doesn't have to be seen again until between 18-24 months. He has a regular GP who he goes to for vaccinations and actual health care. I'd just hoped she's have a bit of helpful advice, but nope. Have you considered putting in a complaint to the service provider? That sort of advice is just stupid. There's no way you can stop your kid catching germs off other kids, our doctor told us it was normal for children to catch mild diseases when they're socialising. Helps to develop their immune system, they're getting exposure so you just have to suck it up. Get them vaccinated against anything nasty and hope someone doesn't let their sick kid come to play with yours.
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Dec 6, 2013 14:19
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In addition, you're supposed to nurse (or give formula) before solids until 12 months, not the other way around. Maybe you should just do the exact opposite of everything she recommends. Cool your apartment, warm up the play areas, only feed yourself breastmilk, and have him sleep underneath his mattress.
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Dec 6, 2013 15:55
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An Cat Dubh posted:Public Health Nurse idiocy Our public health nurse told me to supplement breast milk with water at Rorys 3 month visit because he might get thirsty. Ireland is pretty much 20 years behind on everything, so I shouldn't be surprised, but still.. We're probably due for another visit soon. I thought it was at 7, but he's just turned 8 months this past monday and I haven't gotten a call from her yet. I hate that broad.
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Dec 6, 2013 16:40
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I've thought of filing a complaint. I know better, but other people don't and would believe what's she's saying is true. Unfortunately as Dandy Shrew says, people here by and large have pretty antiquated ideas when it comes to a lot of stuff and I'm afraid it would just fall on deaf ears. I should probably also start sucking on a pacifier when I wake up at night, since her first suggestion to him waking up crying is to stick a pacifier in his mouth, which he has never taken in his life (thanks for that post Ben Davis. I needed a good laugh). Dandy Shrew, at least here in Dublin County the appointment is sometime between 7-9 months. If your nurse didn't specifically tell you last time that they would call you I'd try to get in touch with her. I started calling her direct line even before Aaron was 7 months old and left numerous voice messages and whenever I tried to call the front desk the line just rang and rang. I finally had to haul my rear end down there this week and leave her a note. Turns out her direct line had changed, which I didn't know since no one ever picked up the drat phone at the front desk. Be sure to post all the dumb stuff she tells you when you do see her!
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Dec 6, 2013 19:28
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An Cat- I had constipation issues when we first introduced solids. I ended giving him a sippy of water (no more than 5 ounces a day) with his solids. It helped a TON. She sounds truly ignorant. Its always shocking to hear how some health care providers don't update info from when they first got into the business. My 9 month moves in his sleep and ends up on his stomach a lot. I figured if he can get himself there, he can roll back over (I've seen him do it). As others said, its breast milk then food for the first year. My ped kept telling me he wasn't getting enough healthy stuff from my breast milk and needed solids from 4 months on. I just left it, because I knew he was full of old information. Speaking of, we go to our 9month check up this afternoon. Should be fun. Wonder what he's gonna push on me this time.
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Dec 6, 2013 20:36
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My guy started rolling to his belly at 3.5 months and since he figured that out he's pretty much an exclusive side/belly sleeper. Continue to put him on his back when you put him down but yeah if he changes position himself it's fine.
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Dec 6, 2013 21:28
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I have 2 toddlers, ages ~3.5 and a little over 2. When we had our first, I quit my full-time researcher job in a good bio-engineering lab. I had the chance to work part-time with a friend, earning as much as I would if I had kept working full-time but also paying for daycare. We could afford for me to quit and stay home, so I did (I made quite a bit less than my wife, so it had to be me). Since I was staying home, we decided to have our 2nd child right away to take advantage of the situation. Up until about 2 months ago, I had stayed home almost every day with our kids, working occasionally and sending them to grandma's/aunt's houses once in a while. However, this past summer, we decided we wanted our kids to have more socialization with their peers and learn more than I could teach them alone. I was able to land a job very quickly after I re-formatted my resume to display a list of all accomplishments/tasks first, then employer history beneath. The other part to me going back to work was simply to get back into the workforce. To be honest, we thought that 3 years removed from any kind of science was going to doom me. We definitely felt that if I waited until they started kindergarten, it would be impossible. So now we are sending them to daycare, which is also where the majority of my paycheck goes. The job I've taken will lead to good jobs down the road, ~1-2 years form now. However, for the time being, I'm mostly working to pay for daycare. We would net more money if I still watched the kids during the day and took a part-time position on nights/weekends at Home Depot/Costco/wherever. But that would not lead to good jobs down the road. I enjoy the job I have now, and the pay will increase soon. Plus, I will want to work again when they start school. On the other hand, I miss being home with our kids. For the past 2-3 months that they've been in daycare, one or both of them and/or me and my wife have been sick. The latest was our daughter with pneumonia, and the other 3 of us with bronchitis. Oh and 2 different bouts of pink eye for each of them. I have since learned about part-time pre-school centers. If we had known about these before I started working, I probably never would have started at all. I am not necessarily considering quitting and staying home with them again, but I still wonder if we've made the right choice.
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Dec 9, 2013 05:35
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sweek0 posted:Sorry, I should've explained this a bit more I think! Mother and father split up exactly a year ago. The kid (Felix) is with the father 2-3 days a week, rest of the time with the mother. I'm her first serious boyfriend since the break up with the father. The father also has a new girlfriend but keeps her completely separated from the kid. His comfort with you will just come in time. The more you can directly ask him to play a little game, or say "hey check out this cool toy/playground item/animal at the zoo/cartoon/whatever", the more he'll get used to interacting with you one on one.
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Dec 9, 2013 14:49
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TheDeviousOne posted:
All of my friends who are stay at home moms go through the illness carousel when their kids start kindergarten so you'd still have to deal with it at some point you're just getting it out of the way now.
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Dec 9, 2013 15:45
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I don't have any advice or answers for you, I just wanted to give some Internet sympathy for your situation. I hear you. My "career" in biological sciences (genetics) has all but evaporated. If they were both in FT care, I would be working just to pay for the care. (I held on and worked PT before Number Two was born, now I'm home.) Trying to wait it out a little bit longer. Just a couple more years, but by then, will I even have a chance? It's good you landed a job in your field quickly. Choices, choices, choices. Did you make the "right" choice? Have I? Has anybody? I can't say. I think this is a universal haunt in the back of all parents minds, irrespective of circumstances.
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Dec 9, 2013 17:16
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TheDeviousOne posted:I have 2 toddlers, ages ~3.5 and a little over 2. When we had our first, I quit my full-time researcher job in a good bio-engineering lab. I had the chance to work part-time with a friend, earning as much as I would if I had kept working full-time but also paying for daycare. We could afford for me to quit and stay home, so I did (I made quite a bit less than my wife, so it had to be me). Im in much the same position, except we have 4. I have a side deal with one of the guys i used to work with that lets me do some work at home when the kids are asleep, but it comes in batches and isn't consistent. As far as socialization, I see a big difference between our eldest who was in an in-home day care from 3 months and the younger ones who I have cares for at home since birth. Since the eldest has always been surrounded by kids his age and older, he has a harder time finding things to hold his attention by himself and needs more curated activities. His little brother is much happier by himself with toys or coloring. I think we struck a happy medium by putting him in a day care for an hour or two in the mornings at my gym and especially now in a preschool a couple days a week so every day he gets at least some peer interaction. Work is something I'm not sure about now. I don't think id be very competitive if I wanted to jump back into the workforce at this point without some additional more recent schooling. I'm thinking that I might try once the youngest starts kinder, and maybe even teaching so I could have something that goes along with the kids' school schedule.
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Dec 9, 2013 17:25
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TheDeviousOne posted:I am not necessarily considering quitting and staying home with them again, but I still wonder if we've made the right choice. You can't avoid the sickness thing to be honest. Like others have said, if it doesn't happen now, it'll happen when they start school. It's just a part of growing up and the children building their immune system. I personally have a very pro-daycare opinion. I'm very lucky and found a great center, and my kids love going there. I take them inside and zooom they are off to play with their friends. I feel the socialization they get there is a big benefit for their development. Remember though you also have to focus on you. Your career development benefits your children in the long run by giving your family more resources in the future. Personally, I find the time away at work helps recharge me for kiddo time at home.
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Dec 9, 2013 21:44
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Ron Jeremy posted:As far as socialization, I see a big difference between our eldest who was in an in-home day care from 3 months and the younger ones who I have cares for at home since birth. Since the eldest has always been surrounded by kids his age and older, he has a harder time finding things to hold his attention by himself and needs more curated activities. His little brother is much happier by himself with toys or coloring. I haven't seen this in my son who goes to day care full time. He loves to play with us, but he also is able to sit in his chair and look at books on his own just fine. We make sure to give him opportunities for both.
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Dec 9, 2013 21:57
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sweek0 posted:Sorry, I should've explained this a bit more I think! Mother and father split up exactly a year ago. The kid (Felix) is with the father 2-3 days a week, rest of the time with the mother. I'm her first serious boyfriend since the break up with the father. The father also has a new girlfriend but keeps her completely separated from the kid. I met my wife when K1 was four and K2 was one. The father was (and still is...) not consistently present or reliable in any way, but K1 was old enough to know and remember when his father and my wife were still together. For the better part of a year, K1 was wary of me. I feel like the "breakthrough" was finding a shared interest that we could both do together, that wasn't something he did with his dad, his grandfather, etc. For us, that was LEGO - I bought him a beginner's set and we put it together and played with it and built things new, and I feel like that helped us turn the corner - if he wanted to play with LEGO, he knew that he could come to me. Trains? His grandfather. Cars? His father. Your milage may vary, of course, but you'll get there (I still remember the first time I was at home solo with both of the boys - extremely nerve-wracking! It goes both ways!).
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Dec 10, 2013 04:41
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TheDeviousOne posted:I am not necessarily considering quitting and staying home with them again, but I still wonder if we've made the right choice. Yes. You looked at the situation and evaluated the best course of action for your happiness, your family's happiness, and your children's lives. If the choice that results from that evaluation--assuming the evaluation is made in good faith--I don't know what the "right" choice really is. All of us parents sometimes have to make hard lifestyle decisions that impact our children. It's better if we try to make each decision as best we can, and keep moving forward. Certainly, reflecting and evaluating how well it turned out is good, but take that information and use it to make better decisions in the future. Ultimately, even if you make a "wrong" choice, you have something to learn from it. And that's okay. We're all growing. In the end: are you trying to do what's best for your family (and you're part of your family, as are your partner(s) and child(ren))? If so, just keep following that star. (At least, with the sorts of life decisions you're talking about. There are some--like selling children into slavery or something--that I'm not talking about here)
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Dec 10, 2013 06:12
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Thanks for the replies everyone. It was much harder the first few weeks of working, as my kids hadn't adjusted to daycare/preschool and hated it. We'd drop them off and they'd be bawling, and we'd pick them up and they'd start bawling again. Thankfully, they both seem pretty happy upon arrival now. I try to watch them until they notice me when I pick them up, and they seem to be enjoying themselves, interacting with other kids/toys/books/teachers/whatever. The good news is that the daycare costs will get cheaper as our 2 year old gets older, and as my pay increases. We're considering in-home, licensed daycare providers, but we've yet to find one that we like/trust/is close enough to us. It feels a little bit more like the 'right choice' each day, especially as we see our kids enjoying themselves more and more at daycare. AlistairCookie posted:I don't have any advice or answers for you, I just wanted to give some Internet sympathy for your situation. I hear you. My "career" in biological sciences (genetics) has all but evaporated. If they were both in FT care, I would be working just to pay for the care. (I held on and worked PT before Number Two was born, now I'm home.) Trying to wait it out a little bit longer. Just a couple more years, but by then, will I even have a chance? It's good you landed a job in your field quickly. Try to land something doing anything that you can put on your resume, so it doesn't simply look blank for the past X number of years - even if it's part-time. Have a friend who runs some sort of under-the-books business? Ask him/her if you can say you've been working them them part-time and, ya know, make it look like you've been working with them for a year or two or three. An actual job at a company, like a Home Depot, or a car dealership, or somewhere that you can get some references would be great. Also, I volunteered at my local library, giving computer tutoring. This gave me the opportunity to use the head librarian as a reference, even though I didn't need to. Start doing all of this stuff 6-12 months before you anticipate going back to work. There needs to be some stuff on your resume that's current so that potential employers see that you've been doing something over the past few years, and, furthermore, so they don't offer you the absolute minimum pay available. Then, format your resume the way I described above: Personal Information (in the header), personal statement (literally 1 or 2 sentences saying "dedicated research specializing in blah blah and blah"), then (I called mine:) Profile of Qualifications - where I list everything that used to be under each employer. Under that I have a simple list of employers and dates, Job A - June 2010 - current, Job B Sept. 2008 - June 2010, etc. I sent out MANY resumes using the standard Job History + tasks/accomplishments for that particular job, followed by the next, etc. Because I hadn't worked in my field for 3+ years, nobody wanted to interview me (understandable). Literally as soon as I changed my resume, and a bit of wording, I received, honestly, more interviews than I could handle, and 4 job offers. I don't have some amazing skillset - I really attribute it to having the resume formatted the way I did. It makes sense for those of us with un-traditional work histories to format them this way. Otherwise, the first thing an employer will see is a bunch of irrelevant stuff and throw your resume into the trash.
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Dec 10, 2013 06:32
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So I'm not a parent, but lots of folks in my peer group are having their first or second kid. What strikes me as odd is the number of people in this group that are now either petrified at the decision of "whether they should vaccinate their kids" or are now dead set against it. When it comes up in conversation the normal mode of argument is always along the lines of "people are always telling parents what to do", "when you have kids you'll know better the tough choices we have to make for our kids safety" and "there's so much conflicting info out there, it's so difficult to understand!". Normal sources of information are ignored, testimonials from acupuncturists are quoted and the whole thing never ends well. So as parents, who in the gently caress is bombarding you with anti-vax bullshit? Is this just a regional thing? Is my peer group just terminally stupid and I'm just now noticing? Additionally, as parents, are there better ways to discuss this topic without crossing lines? If this isn't appropriate use of the thread, I'm more than happy to drop it and edit this post out.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:23
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Solkanar512 posted:So I'm not a parent, but lots of folks in my peer group are having their first or second kid. What strikes me as odd is the number of people in this group that are now either petrified at the decision of "whether they should vaccinate their kids" or are now dead set against it. When it comes up in conversation the normal mode of argument is always along the lines of "people are always telling parents what to do", "when you have kids you'll know better the tough choices we have to make for our kids safety" and "there's so much conflicting info out there, it's so difficult to understand!". Normal sources of information are ignored, testimonials from acupuncturists are quoted and the whole thing never ends well. I think it's just an extremely localized thing. I live in Seattle which is pretty known to be hippy dippy for alot of things (we passed legalized pot ffs) but i've literally only seen my friends and family who are parents shun anti vaxxers. I don't have children but most of my friends do and we've all agreed that we would never even hang out with an anti vaxxer.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:28
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