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bobkatt013 posted:Swamp Thing killed Jesus, or he should have. He was going to be the cross. I always knew Swamp Thing was an atheist. He has all the stereotypes, being a shambling heap of muck barely capable of functioning with humans. Also, a symbiotic relationship with chlorophyll and plant life. Just like a typical atheist neckbeard.  Dungeons and Dragons
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Dec 11, 2013 05:14
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CharlestheHammer posted:He will also use bears to kill children if you make fun of his peeps. Technically it was actually punk teenagers, but the word Youths has shifted meaning in the last 400+ years. Basically the Sharks were hassling Elisha with switchblades, little realizing that God has an issue with escalation.
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Dec 11, 2013 06:04
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I know it's from The Demon v3 but I'm not sure which issue
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Dec 11, 2013 07:02
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Uthor posted:Bentley drilled a hole to spy on the ladies of the FF bathing next door.
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Dec 11, 2013 07:07
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It's a miniaturized Tiger, I think Tiger's love water.
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Dec 11, 2013 08:57
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Gatts posted:Jesus would be dismissed as another mutant or metahuman only delusional. Bendis straight up claimed Moses was a psycho with Sentry-level powers who caused the plagues himself.
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Dec 11, 2013 09:16
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ImpAtom posted:
Can't wait to see this guy fight The Atom. 
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Dec 11, 2013 10:19
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Hollismason posted:It's a miniaturized Tiger, I think Tiger's love water. Yeah, tigers love water. Tigers and Maine Coons.
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Dec 11, 2013 10:23
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Gravitas Shortfall posted:Can't wait to see this guy fight The Atom. I finally get that TMBG song.
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Dec 11, 2013 13:37
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Mr. Maltose posted:Technically it was actually punk teenagers, but the word Youths has shifted meaning in the last 400+ years. It's worse than that, actually. All they did was mock Elisha for being bald. Then, she-bear vengeance.
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Dec 11, 2013 13:51
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Depends on the translation, really. That's certainly how it went down in King James' Book, though.
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Dec 11, 2013 14:00
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GorfZaplen posted:I know it's from The Demon v3 but I'm not sure which issue Who wrote this, Matt Wagner? I know he wrote an Etrigan series at one point. Also, this is awesome.
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Dec 11, 2013 15:19
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GorfZaplen posted:I know it's from The Demon v3 but I'm not sure which issue Etrigan is like his own walking soundbite machine.
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Dec 11, 2013 15:23
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El Gallinero Gros posted:Who wrote this, Matt Wagner? I know he wrote an Etrigan series at one point. Dwayne McDuffie wrote it in a short arc in the middle of Alan Grant's run on the Demon.
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Dec 11, 2013 15:48
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Male Man posted:In a more perfect world there's a series where Thor, Jesus, and Hercules are forced to share an apartment. How about Jesus and Buddha?  From Saint Young Men, a buddy comedy about Jesus and Buddha sharing an apartment in modern-day Tokyo.
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Dec 11, 2013 16:34
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Endless Mike posted:He also has healing powers almost as good as Elixir! People always seem to forget the raise the dead and control the weather part of Jesus' power set. They always seem to focus on the aquawalking and the food duplication. edit: It's also heavily implied that he teleported a boat
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Dec 11, 2013 17:40
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Nipponophile posted:How about Jesus and Buddha? Buddha has a statue of himself in his apartment?
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Dec 11, 2013 17:42
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theflyingorc posted:People always seem to forget the raise the dead and control the weather part of Jesus' power set. They always seem to focus on the aquawalking and the food duplication. And iirc in the more esoteric texts describing his childhood pre-faith dedication (like, under 10) he does some weird miracles. At one point his step-dad mis-cuts some lumber to be too short, and Jesus just like, stretches it for him. Also, there's the story of the first time he brought someone back from the dead. he and a friend were playing on a rooftop, and he accidentally knocks the other boy off, killing him (yes, Jesus straight up commits involuntary manslaughter) When the villagers get up in arms he's all "No, I didn't kill him, did I?" and ta-da! Kid is up and fine again. Jesus: The original Dennis the Menace.
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Dec 11, 2013 17:48
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prefect posted:Buddha has a statue of himself in his apartment? He won it at some festival or something not knowing that it was the prize, and specifically lamented that people would think he's conceited.
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Dec 11, 2013 17:49
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Choco1980 posted:And iirc in the more esoteric texts describing his childhood pre-faith dedication (like, under 10) he does some weird miracles. At one point his step-dad mis-cuts some lumber to be too short, and Jesus just like, stretches it for him. Also, there's the story of the first time he brought someone back from the dead. he and a friend were playing on a rooftop, and he accidentally knocks the other boy off, killing him (yes, Jesus straight up commits involuntary manslaughter) When the villagers get up in arms he's all "No, I didn't kill him, did I?" and ta-da! Kid is up and fine again. Listen buddy, there's a reason most of the gnostic texts are NOT IN CANON, all that stuff was written WAAAAAY after the original stories and was basically wiped out during the Crisis at Infinite Nicea. Nicea's importance to canonization is popularly over-attributed, but it made the joke work
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Dec 11, 2013 18:06
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I dunno man, I kinda like the idea of Saviorboy becoming a character in the New 27...
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Dec 11, 2013 18:11
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theflyingorc posted:Crisis at Infinite Nicea. Someone please draw this as fanart, tia
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Dec 11, 2013 18:37
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Metal Loaf posted:When he was writing Ghost Rider back in the 1970s, Tony Isabella introduced a character called the Friend who he was going to reveal was Jesus, but the idea was nixed before he could finish it. Nixed by Shooter, what a loving surprise.
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Dec 11, 2013 18:44
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Nipponophile posted:How about Jesus and Buddha? Saint Young men is really good, y'all. It features Buddha being afraid to use Facebook because he's afraid Judas will try to friend him if he friends Jesus(the guy creeps him out).
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Dec 11, 2013 19:11
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Superior Foes of Spider-Man #6 describing the origin of the painting of an unmasked Dr. Doom and why this is the best book Marvel is putting out.
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Dec 11, 2013 19:12
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SilverSupernova posted:Superior Foes of Spider-Man #6 describing the origin of the painting of an unmasked Dr. Doom and why this is the best book Marvel is putting out. You know it will later be revealed that that's a Doombot, right? 
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Dec 11, 2013 19:23
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Awww. Doom's mother is also dead and her soul in hell...I think...RICHARDS! 
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Dec 11, 2013 19:23
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theflyingorc posted:People always seem to forget the raise the dead and control the weather part of Jesus' power set. They always seem to focus on the aquawalking and the food duplication. IUG was quoting a bit from a Patton Oswalt stand-up routine. The premise of the bit is that Jesus would be too humble to mention any of his good powers if he was a super-hero. notthegoatseguy posted:Nixed by Shooter, what a loving surprise. He made the right choice. Marvel already had Eternity and Galactus and the Celestials. Adding a real world religious figure to that would just be tacky. I still can't believe that DC is tasteless enough to have the Phantom Stranger's secret identity be Judas Iscariot. Although Mark Gruenwald did have Thor beat up the Hindu pantheon once.  Thor #301
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Dec 11, 2013 19:52
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SilverSupernova posted:Superior Foes of Spider-Man #6 describing the origin of the painting of an unmasked Dr. Doom and why this is the best book Marvel is putting out.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:07
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Servoret posted:
Are you sure about that?  DC has at least four official origins for The Phantom Stranger. He won't tell which one is true, if any of them.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:14
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Choco1980 posted:Are you sure about that? Welcome to the new 52
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Dec 11, 2013 20:16
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prefect posted:You know it will later be revealed that that's a Doombot, right? It's just an rear end in a top hat telling a story in universe already. Doombot or not, I'm guessing those things were not actually said.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:44
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WickedHate posted:It's just an rear end in a top hat telling a story in universe already. Doombot or not, I'm guessing those things were not actually said. Sorry; was just trying to make a joke. 
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Dec 11, 2013 20:46
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Servoret posted:Although Mark Gruenwald did have Thor beat up the Hindu pantheon once. That's gotta be Keith Pollard doing the pencils, I'd recognize those stylized angular poses anywhere. Wonder what he does nowadays?
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Dec 11, 2013 20:54
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prefect posted:Sorry; was just trying to make a joke. You have my sincere apologies. 
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Dec 11, 2013 20:54
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Another great part of that issue is what exactly Boomerang does to hide the painting in his apartment.
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Dec 11, 2013 21:42
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Demon v3 was pretty good, you guys. Certainly better than any Demon series since. Demon #13, obviously
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Dec 11, 2013 22:07
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redbackground posted:What happens next?! Doom wakes up in his Fantastic 4 logo boxers, looks at the painting of a single tear going down his (possibly horrifically scarred, possibly minorly bruised) face. And then: 
SilverSupernova fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Dec 11, 2013 |
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Dec 11, 2013 22:45
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It is really, really hard to pick one page or sequence from that issue. 
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Dec 11, 2013 23:30
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SilverSupernova posted:Doom wakes up in his Fantastic 4 logo boxers, looks at the painting of a single tear going down his (possibly horrifically scarred, possibly minorly bruised) face. I love that the artist just stood there waiting while Doom wheeled in his giant moon-laser model death ray.
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Dec 12, 2013 00:59
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