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Tigntink posted:I think it's just an extremely localized thing. I live in Seattle which is pretty known to be hippy dippy for alot of things (we passed legalized pot ffs) but i've literally only seen my friends and family who are parents shun anti vaxxers. I don't have children but most of my friends do and we've all agreed that we would never even hang out with an anti vaxxer. I'm in the Seattle area as well, so maybe the answer simply is "my peer group is loving stupid". And the thing is, I don't want to tell parents how to parent, it's not my loving place to do it. But at the same time, I see choosing not to vaccinate children (without solid medical reasons of course) in the same light as choosing to deny a child any other medical need. So I feel there's a need to at the very least say something.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:34
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Not really the place for this topic as it'll derail the thread from people looking for parenting advice. People feel very strongly about each side of the argument and discussing it online doesn't ever seem to help. Personally I'm getting my one year old all his vaccinations. We also use cloth diapers so how's that for a contradiction. 
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Dec 11, 2013 20:39
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Lots of people are real dumb and there's no reason to think parents are less dumb.
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Dec 11, 2013 20:49
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Solkanar512 posted:I'm in the Seattle area as well, so maybe the answer simply is "my peer group is loving stupid". I'm in Mississippi and there is apparently a large group of anti-vaxxers here. So maybe "they are stupid" combined with a healthy dose of "BIG GUMMINT  ". It's really frustrating because you can't force on these people the information they're denying themselves--the studies "proving" a link between vaccines and autism have been debunked, vaccines are safe and effective for the vast majority of people, etc.--but it sucks to keep your kids apart just because their parents are dumb. If you can stand it, it might help to find out why a specific parent you might otherwise like is anti-vaccine. My boss is heavily anti-vax for his child because both he and his wife have had bad reactions to some vaccines, so there is a plausible possibility that they would affect the child badly too. It spiraled from there and now he has joined a "vaccine rights" group and they plan to homeschool the kid. Thanks to our dumbass health care system people are also dubious of receiving any medical care. Since profit is a motive, people think any time you go to the doctor you'll be going back there soon, like they're dishonest mechanics who intentionally leave that hole in your radiator so you'll have to go back. Not saying some aren't, but people (at least here) resent that they're required to pay for vaccination and that they'll probably get sick if they do. I personally would not waste time saying much about it, beyond pointing out that vaccines don't cause autism--you might as well beat your head against a brick wall--and telling them that you'll be avoiding them and their kids if you come into contact with sick people, or if their kids are sick (because you don't want to infect other kids with their diseases that could become extinct if people would just vaccinate their drat kids). These are the people that in a different situation would be the bikers who refuse to wear helmets, or the drivers that refuse to wear seatbelts, or the parents praying for their kid with pneumonia instead of taking her to the hospital. You can't make 'em and you'll just frustrate yourself trying. e - I said a lot of words that amount to "what FishBulb said"
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Dec 11, 2013 21:29
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Solkanar512 posted:I see choosing not to vaccinate children (without solid medical reasons of course) in the same light as choosing to deny a child any other medical need. To me it's more like drunk driving. If people want to do stupid things that only harm themselves it's no skin of my nose, but anti-vaxxers are endangering other people. When enough people get vaccines, we achieve herd immunity. People who can't be vaccinated, old people, children and people in poor health are protected because there aren't sick people around to infect them. Because of anti-vaxxers, measles have started killing people again! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013_Swansea_measles_epidemic When I was pregnant, my blood work showed that my rubella vaccine had worn off, and I couldn't get a new one while pregnant. Other people getting their rubella shots protected my kid from death or serious birth defects. Anti-vaxxers are selfish assholes and piss me off. So I think you should tell people what you think of their ridiculous bullshit. You're not telling them how to parent, you're telling them how to be decent human beings with regard for the safety of others.
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Dec 11, 2013 21:40
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FishBulb posted:Lots of people are real dumb and there's no reason to think parents are less dumb. This is the answer to so many of life's frustrating questions.
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Dec 11, 2013 21:48
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I won't hang out with people who won't vaccinate their kids- or perhaps I should say I can't hang out with them. Luckily all my friends are up to date on modern health studies and understand things like herd immunity and why it's a good thing to add your children to the herd rather than rely on said herd to protect your kids. I cannot be vaccinated for pertussis- which has been making a huge comeback in recent years (48,277 cases reported to the CDC last year alone in the US). The one and only time I had a pertussis vaccine I had a major grand mal seizure right there in the doctor's office within minutes of the vaccine being administered. I had never had a seizure before or since. No doctor has been willing to risk giving me the vaccine again since then. Considering I spend a lot of time with kids (Girl Scout leader and frequent volunteer at the school) I'm completely relying on a whole lot of parents I don't know and will probably never meet to have their kids vaccinated so I won't be added to the statistics board on the CDC website. Luckily at my age it's highly unlikely I'll die from the whooping cough, but it's still a highly unpleasant 3-6 month long ordeal I'd like to avoid at all costs.
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Dec 12, 2013 12:58
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I don't think it'll make any debate here in this thread because parents on SA tend to be of a similar mindset about trusting credible medical studies and not assuming there's a BIG VAX conspiracy theory. You'll find it hard to argue with your friends because they don't want to be convinced of it. They've made up their minds and found "evidence" to back up what they already choose to believe. When you think the medical journals are lying and only your healthnews dot com blog is telling the hard-hitting truth, logic isn't going to convince you of anything.
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Dec 12, 2013 15:59
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Marchegiana posted:I won't hang out with people who won't vaccinate their kids- or perhaps I should say I can't hang out with them. Luckily all my friends are up to date on modern health studies and understand things like herd immunity and why it's a good thing to add your children to the herd rather than rely on said herd to protect your kids. I feel you there, Grand-Mal-Pertussis-Vax buddy. I depend on the herd immunity. Baby is getting all her drat vaccines.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:03
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How do you guys' feel about forced apologies and putting things in your own words and forcing a kid to sign it even if they don't agree with it? To my wife and I it kinda feels like making the kid lie. Is it wrong for us to question a public school teacher's discipline strategy when it comes to our kids?
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Dec 12, 2013 19:35
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oneliquidninja posted:How do you guys' feel about forced apologies and putting things in your own words and forcing a kid to sign it even if they don't agree with it? To my wife and I it kinda feels like making the kid lie. Is it wrong for us to question a public school teacher's discipline strategy when it comes to our kids? It's only 9 months out of their life that they'll be with that teacher. If it's elementary school, and the kid isn't upset about it, it probably won't have a major impact on their life. There's going to be a lot of authority figures in their life and they will all probably have different discipline strategies.
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Dec 12, 2013 21:17
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I feel like teaching manners is an important social skill that will help throughout life. Sorry doesn't always mean OH GOD WHY DID I DO THAT. Sometimes it just means "I recognize that was inappropriate behavior and that it hurt another person." edit: I think having kids sign apologies that someone else wrote is weird, though. What's going on with that? Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 02:39 on Dec 13, 2013 |
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Dec 12, 2013 22:10
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So I am looking for some additional meal ideas for my 17 month old, stuff that I can cook in mass and individually portion out, freeze and reheat to make food time quick and easier. In the freezer we have pancakes, waffles, french toast, mushroom and spinach quiche, chicken and spinach quesadillas, jasmine rice with spinach, glazed carrots, english muffin pizzas loaded with veggie, chicken breast nuggets, fish sticks and baked mac and cheese. Sp she had some good options but I am looking for something I can do with meat, she eats a ton of veggies and fruit but we haven't feed her a lot of meats yet, just because I haven't thought of quick easy things I can make ahead of time.
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Dec 13, 2013 00:55
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Rythe posted:So I am looking for some additional meal ideas for my 17 month old, stuff that I can cook in mass and individually portion out, freeze and reheat to make food time quick and easier. I really like the website Weelicious.com for healthy meal ideas for toddlers. She has some yummy meat recipes.
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Dec 13, 2013 01:01
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oneliquidninja posted:How do you guys' feel about forced apologies and putting things in your own words and forcing a kid to sign it even if they don't agree with it? To my wife and I it kinda feels like making the kid lie. Is it wrong for us to question a public school teacher's discipline strategy when it comes to our kids? I also think that being able to put together a convincing and decent apology is an important and useful life skill. If the kid hosed up, then the kid ought to be able to explain the nature of the fuckup, apologise, and present a plan to not gently caress up that way in the future. When my kids get in trouble at school, we often have them write a note to the aggrieved party, be it playground kid, or substitute or whoever. It only costs them half an hour, they are likely to learn something from it, and generally they do a good job of it. If your kid didn't gently caress up, then he either needs to convincingly explain that, and be willing to accept the consequences of intransigence (being right can suck), or decide that writing a half page and saying sorry isn't going to hurt, and just do that instead. I have gone to war with the school administration over discipline in the past, successfully. But it isn't ever my first choice, and it was over a pretty seriously hosed up, extended, and counterproductive punishment, rather than over not wanting to write a 'sorry I was a little dickens' note.
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Dec 13, 2013 02:31
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Does anyone have any advice on an almost three year old and our new 2 day old daughter? The first thing he did was poke her in the eye. He wants to hold her ALL THE TIME and is just far too aggressive with her (she spent 5 days in NICU for a heart issue). We have tried to tell him to be gentle and show him how to be gentle but he does it right once and then goes back to poking and being aggressive.
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Dec 13, 2013 03:23
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Our 13 month old likes shredded chicken. We'll get a roast chicken from the store and keep some of the chicken breast left over to give him for a couple days. Trader Joe's also makes a package of chicken that he likes.
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Dec 13, 2013 06:43
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Slo-Tek posted:I also think that being able to put together a convincing and decent apology is an important and useful life skill. If the kid hosed up, then the kid ought to be able to explain the nature of the fuckup, apologise, and present a plan to not gently caress up that way in the future. When my kids get in trouble at school, we often have them write a note to the aggrieved party, be it playground kid, or substitute or whoever. It only costs them half an hour, they are likely to learn something from it, and generally they do a good job of it. From what we've been reading forced apologies interfere with a child's development of conflict resolution skills. It's a position my wife and I have just recently come too and have started working on in our own household. We certainly encourage the kids to apologize and do our best to explain how their actions hurt other people but we want them to empathize and genuinely ask for forgiveness rather than spouting out a half-assed apology to avoid consequences. In the specific situation that's triggering all of this a girl and him got into a fight on the playground, she called him mean, he threatened her with violence. He felt justified though he apologized anyway (she called him mean first so in his mind he was defending himself). When he got home we explained to him that threats of violence aren't okay and asked if he had any idea what he did that led to her calling him mean (he didn't). (My wife and I believe this same girl has a crush on him so it may have been some elementary school flirting that just got out of hand). The note thing was a previous incident. He had been disruptive in class and the teacher made him sign a note promising he would pay more attention or something along those lines. The teacher had written it out and made him sign it. He's had a lot of discipline problems at school this year and no problems the year before. Some of which I'm sure is the fault of my wife and I working out our own issues but we also have some concerns about this teacher. The one time my wife and I met her she seemed very stand offish and judgemental. My stepson's dad was there as well. So our family dynamic isn't typical and I can't help but wonder if this woman's feelings towards non-traditional families isn't affecting the amount of patience she has for our son. I realize we're probably being overly anal here but I guess we would just prefer he have consequences for his actions if they're not appropriate instead of someone putting words into his mouth or forcing him to say things he doesn't mean. Anyway my wife is pretty set on expressing our concerns with his teacher and I guess I'm mostly worried about backlash if the teacher doesn't take what we say as constructive criticism.
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Dec 13, 2013 17:12
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skeetied posted:I really like the website Weelicious.com for healthy meal ideas for toddlers. She has some yummy meat recipes. I will check that out, thanks.
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Dec 13, 2013 18:51
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oneliquidninja posted:From what we've been reading forced apologies interfere with a child's development of conflict resolution skills. It's a position my wife and I have just recently come too and have started working on in our own household. We certainly encourage the kids to apologize and do our best to explain how their actions hurt other people but we want them to empathize and genuinely ask for forgiveness rather than spouting out a half-assed apology to avoid consequences. You'll definitely want to meet with the teacher, and get her side of things. Show up all involved parent and do the 'we understand our child is challenging, here is what has worked for us'. Teachers like that kind of thing. Even if you don't come to a meeting of the minds, just letting it be known that you aren't turning your wild child loose on her class without a care may have the teacher ease off a good deal. That has certainly been our experience. I agree that getting kids to sign pre-typed confessions is weird. Telling teach that you wish that there were more connection and immediacy between infraction and correction would be a good suggestion, I think. When the teacher was ratcheting up the pressure and putting weeks-long open ended punishments on my kid, we met with the principal and the teacher both, explained that punishing him tomorrow for what he hosed up a week ago is not going to be the way forward, since he wasn't learning anything from it, and wasn't ever going to be able to get out from under, the teacher got pulled up short by the principal, and everything got much better for everybody. Again, in my experience, I've never had talking to a teacher result in upping the pressure on my kid. You may also want to talk to the administrator and try to get him in the chillest next-years teachers class. They usually try to match teachers and kids, but a little extra nudge in that direction never hurts.
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Dec 13, 2013 23:23
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We just got back from talking to her. Our first impression from meeting her before was way off base. We expressed our concerns and heard her side of things and she clued us in on how his typical day is and what the expectations are at school which we hope will help us help him. So it went a lot better than I expected and I think all parties left feeling good that everyone is on the same page. Thanks for all the feedback and encouragement.
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Dec 14, 2013 00:08
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MarshallX posted:Does anyone have any advice on an almost three year old and our new 2 day old daughter? The first thing he did was poke her in the eye. He wants to hold her ALL THE TIME and is just far too aggressive with her (she spent 5 days in NICU for a heart issue). My kids are spaced exactly like that. We got this book for Tim and read it to him ad nauseum for months leading up to delivery, and then afterwards for a while. The message hit home and it took until Liam was almost two for them to be physically aggressive with each other.  He's little, and doesn't really understand. Turn him into your Big Helper and have him fetch things for her and show him how him getting her a bink or whatever makes her so happy. Show him how touching gently feels nice to him, so it feels nice to her. Remind him of all the cool big boy things he can do that she can't. You'll get through it. He doesn't hate her or anything, he just doesn't really get it and she's little and new.
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Dec 14, 2013 03:02
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Knockknees posted:It's only 9 months out of their life that they'll be with that teacher. If it's elementary school, and the kid isn't upset about it, it probably won't have a major impact on their life. There's going to be a lot of authority figures in their life and they will all probably have different discipline strategies. Not trying to be argumentative here, but I don't agree. I think weird authoritarian situations can affect a child for the rest of their life, starting at around 4-5 years old when their long-term memories start to take hold. I'm speaking from my own experiences of course. Embarrassing a child, or disciplining a child in a way that they don't understand because they feel helpless (because the parents or adults don't even try to figure out the kid's side of the story) does leave lasting affects. Trying to prove you're innocent and not guilty is hosed up, especially for a little kid, and even worse if they didn't do what they're accused of.
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Dec 14, 2013 07:20
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AlistairCookie posted:My kids are spaced exactly like that. We got this book for Tim and read it to him ad nauseum for months leading up to delivery, and then afterwards for a while. The message hit home and it took until Liam was almost two for them to be physically aggressive with each other.  After seeing this, I just wanted to post: 
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Dec 15, 2013 08:40
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I guess Rory has started the 8 month sleep regression because everything is a battle to get him to go to sleep. We're sticking with the bedtime and nap routines, but he just. will. not. sleep. I'm really worried because I *know* he needs ~11 hours of sleep a night, but we're lucky if he gets 7, and then during the day, now, he's only sleeping for about 3 hours. As soon as he's down in the cot, he's either on his hands and knees trying to crawl, or on his back wailing. I have no idea what to do to make this kid sleep 
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Dec 15, 2013 14:00
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Adorable! I'm impressed he wore the little mitts. This was our first non-dino year (he was a shark--a megaladon specifically, so it was still prehistoric.) My av is from two years ago.
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Dec 15, 2013 16:04
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AlistairCookie posted:Adorable! I'm impressed he wore the little mitts. This was our first non-dino year (he was a shark--a megaladon specifically, so it was still prehistoric.) My av is from two years ago. They only lasted about five minutes, but long enough to be recorded for posterity.
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Dec 15, 2013 21:00
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Dandy Shrew posted:I guess Rory has started the 8 month sleep regression because everything is a battle to get him to go to sleep. We're sticking with the bedtime and nap routines, but he just. will. not. sleep. I'm really worried because I *know* he needs ~11 hours of sleep a night, but we're lucky if he gets 7, and then during the day, now, he's only sleeping for about 3 hours. As soon as he's down in the cot, he's either on his hands and knees trying to crawl, or on his back wailing. I have no idea what to do to make this kid sleep My kid is now over 2, and I still remember when he hit his 8 month sleep regression. It was a truly terrible time. I have no advice, just sympathy and the promise that it does pass. Eventually.
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Dec 16, 2013 07:35
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Best straw sippy cup that's not crazy hard to drink out of? C has figured out a straw but I'm afraid he'll not be able to use the sippy cup ones thanks to the anti spill stuff.
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Dec 16, 2013 21:30
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Lullabee posted:Best straw sippy cup that's not crazy hard to drink out of? C has figured out a straw but I'm afraid he'll not be able to use the sippy cup ones thanks to the anti spill stuff. My son loves his ZoLi for water and the Foogo straw cups for other beverages. The ZoLi is pricey but it conveniently allows him to drink at basically any angle because the straw has a weight at the bottom.
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Dec 16, 2013 21:50
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Lullabee posted:Best straw sippy cup that's not crazy hard to drink out of? C has figured out a straw but I'm afraid he'll not be able to use the sippy cup ones thanks to the anti spill stuff. We use these exclusively and have since my kid was about a year old. http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Mighty-Straw-2-Pack-Colors/dp/B001QXCF0S
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Dec 16, 2013 21:53
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Speaking of sippy cups, my kid is apparently kind of dumb and can't figure out that she's supposed to suck on bottle teats/sippy cup spouts. She'll chew on bottles and the starter sippy cups we've tried, and she'll gamely try blowing into them (   ), but no sucking, thus she gets bored or frustrated and looses interest. We've tried removing the spill-proof seal so that she'll realise that delicious stuff comes out of the spout, and we've tried smearing sticky sweet stuff on the base of the spout/nipple so she'll do more than chew to get at it, to no avail. She'll actually stuff her bib into her mouth and suck on it to get at the milk she's spilled by not sucking on her sippy cup! Are there any sippy cups that don't require sucking to get liquid out, but are still sort of spill proof? Something that dispensed small amounts of liquid whenever she/I tipped it up, but didn't dispense its entire content all over the floor when she hurled it down would be ideal
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Dec 16, 2013 23:20
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Target has some $3 straw cups that are in the shapes of animals and they have some christmas ones out right now. I got a bunch of them and snipped off the valve part of the straw on some of them for him to learn how to use them. Sometimes some of the valves seemed a little too hard so you have to squeeze the straw and check them. http://www.target.com/p/munchkin-8oz-owl-sippy-cup/-/A-14557225#prodSlot=medium_1_53&term=munchkin
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Dec 16, 2013 23:52
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I heartily endorse Playtex brand sippy cups because they're easy to clean, easy to take apart/put back together, all use the same rubbery inside part (so you don't need to find and match a zillion specific parts) and have interchangeable lids. I didn't realize how important that kind of stuff was until I'd tried a few different brands that had 5 or 6 stupid fiddly parts to clean and not lose.
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Dec 17, 2013 04:20
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Hi goons, I'm looking for some advice on discipline. I'm currently working as an au pair for 6 kids under the age of 8. The disciplinary method we're using is Super Nanny's timeout technique (place the kid in time out; tell them why they're there and for how long; if they leave timeout, put them back without saying a word to them), which is the only form of discipline the parents and I agree on. It works to some degree on all the kids, except for the 4-year-old. She thinks the entire thing is hilarious. I can go through the motions of putting her back into timeout over and over again for an hour, and she will laugh the entire time. I've tried coming up with fun things for the other kids to do while she's in timeout that will perhaps give her a motive to get it over with faster, but the 'timeout game' is far more interesting than anything I could come up with. Sorry for the wall of text. Does anyone have any advice ? Lady Disdain fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Dec 17, 2013 |
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Dec 17, 2013 13:41
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Istari posted:Hi goons, I'm looking for some advice on discipline. Change the time out location? Maybe in the child's room?
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Dec 17, 2013 16:24
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We're leaving on a road trip with Jasper in a few days so I've been hunting for some tablet games for him. They're all horribly ugly with the most annoying sounds ever and its sort of annoying how most of them try to be educational to try and justify themselves.
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Dec 17, 2013 18:27
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Ron Jeremy posted:Change the time out location? Maybe in the child's room? We've tried several locations. The bedroom was by far the worst, because that's where the toys are. We've tried the kitchen, the staircase, the living room, an empty hallway. It makes no difference to her.
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Dec 17, 2013 20:42
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Alterian posted:We're leaving on a road trip with Jasper in a few days so I've been hunting for some tablet games for him. They're all horribly ugly with the most annoying sounds ever and its sort of annoying how most of them try to be educational to try and justify themselves. I was working my way through this list when my Nexus 7 died, maybe it'll be helpful to you: http://www.theguardian.com/technology/appsblog/2013/sep/11/best-android-apps-for-kids-2013
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Dec 17, 2013 21:56
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Alterian posted:We're leaving on a road trip with Jasper in a few days so I've been hunting for some tablet games for him. They're all horribly ugly with the most annoying sounds ever and its sort of annoying how most of them try to be educational to try and justify themselves. Depends on the age, but there are some very good lego games that have recently appeared. There is a firefighter one and a star wars one that my 3.5 year old absolutely loves, even though she can't actually get past the first couple of levels without coaching yet.
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Dec 17, 2013 22:12
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