Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

«‹›91 »

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Really excited for more Tebow in my life. It's all I have to look forward to as a Florida fan next football season.

# ? Dec 4, 2013 04:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 13, 2024 04:04

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

sweet thursday posted:

I remember where I was when I found out that Tebow beat the Steelers in the playoffs. I had to miss the game because I was the second night into a 3 day bus trip on Christmas holidays. In the morning we stopped in some small town in bumblefuck Ontario and I went into a Subway for breakfast. It was real early and I heard faintly on the radio "something something Tebow something overtime Pittsburgh something" and stood there staring blankly at the little middle eastern lady behind the counter and said "Did.. did that just say Tebow beat the Steelers?" and she stared at me blankly and said "..yes?"

It was a beautiful moment between her and I.

hahaha nice

# ? Dec 4, 2013 07:33

pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

I hope they have the TV show equivalent of a good defense.

# ? Dec 5, 2013 19:22

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

pangstrom posted:

I hope they have the TV show equivalent of a good defense.

You Byzantine? drat.

# ? Dec 5, 2013 19:41

superaielman: Mar 16, 2006; You can't harm me. Are you a fucking ass? Do you not know who I am? He must not know who I am.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1882813-mike-shanahan-is-right-to-be-concerned-about-rgiiis-relationship-with-snyder#comments

Article talking abou how hosed up things are in Washington from Mike Freeman, not news. This blurb stood out to me.

quote:

Jones hasn't won a Super Bowl since Jimmy Johnson departed

Holy crap, Mike. That's a pretty bad lapse in factchecking right there.

E: He at least edited it out. Still, good grief.

# ? Dec 10, 2013 15:08

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

I always like when people look back on past opinions and find out which were right and wrong. Especially when the answer is "wrong" and the writer is "peter king."

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000296577/article/norv-turner-blasts-josh-gordons-august-loafer-tag

quote:

Four months ago, Josh Gordon faced a two-game suspension amid whispers that the young Cleveland Browns wide receiver was dogging it through training camp sessions.

Four months later, offensive coordinator Norv Turner went out of his way to jab at those summertime narratives, primarily a Sports Illustrated writeup that tabbed Gordon as a "loafer" in practice.

"All this August talk is just talk," Turner said last week, per The Plain Dealer. "... That's why I don't pay attention to all the people that come in here for one or two days of practice. They sat here in August and complained that the guy doesn't work hard, that he doesn't run routes, he doesn't finish.

# ? Dec 11, 2013 18:55

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

Scott Kacsmar, Football Outsiders Writer posted:

Benching Josh McCown Is a Mistake

Great job hiring this guy FO, between this sort of vacuous opinion dump and his terrible regular piece about Clutchiness the quality of your reportage is really elevated.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 22:09

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Otto Skorzeny posted:

Great job hiring this guy FO, between this sort of vacuous opinion dump and his terrible regular piece about Clutchiness the quality of your reportage is really elevated.

the author posted:

Just doing my part. Though I can't imagine you being a Jay Cutler fan, since it actually takes effort to reply.

rrrrrrrraaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGH

# ? Dec 13, 2013 22:14

swickles: Aug 21, 2006; I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Last year when Alex Smith lost his job to Kaepernick, the narrative was "You shouldn't lose your job to injury!" with the Bledsoe/Brady thing being painted as the exception to the rule. Now its like the exact opposite with Cutler and McCown. What exactly happened to change up a "hard rule" in the NFL over the course of a single season.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 22:41

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

swickles posted:

Last year when Alex Smith lost his job to Kaepernick, the narrative was "You shouldn't lose your job to injury!" with the Bledsoe/Brady thing being painted as the exception to the rule. Now its like the exact opposite with Cutler and McCown. What exactly happened to change up a "hard rule" in the NFL over the course of a single season.

The Niners made it to a Super Bowl with a usurper.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 22:43

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way but Florio has this annoying tendency to belittle college players who consider going back to school. Exhibit A was an article he ran after Mariota decided to stay in school, and now he's got one up stating that Teddy Bridgewater would be stupid to not immediately jump at his first chance to get paid.

I know, it's Florio and I shouldn't be surprised, but dude always has an ax to grind on the dumbest things I can think of. Like this, or his hard on for calling out tampering.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:04

Ribsauce: Jul 29, 2006; Blacks in the back.

From any objective point of view, going back to school when you are a number one pick is dumb. Ask Brian Brohm or Matt Leinart if that degree offset their lost NFL earnings.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:07

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ribsauce posted:

From any objective point of view, going back to school when you are a number one pick is dumb. Ask Brian Brohm or Matt Leinart if that degree offset their lost NFL earnings.

Eh, if your family doesn't need the money, then who cares? Might as well enjoy being god king of college. Plus, I have to presume some of them were being paid pretty drat well as is.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:12

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

It's not so much that I disagree with this point, its that I disagree with how he's saying it.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:19

Mr. Funny Pants: Apr 9, 2001

Ribsauce posted:

From any objective point of view, going back to school when you are a number one pick is dumb. Ask Brian Brohm or Matt Leinart if that degree offset their lost NFL earnings.

This is correct if you assume that everyone's number one goal and priority in life is making as much money as possible. If that's what you want, that's fine, but some people don't. It's pretty obvious to me that Florio can't comprehend the notion that someone might genuinely value their school experience for something other than prepping them for a pro sports career.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:40

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

I would also note that the difference in expected earnings between a college stud who declares early and is a first round draft pick but turns out to BGDs in the NFL, and a college stud who declares late and gets quasi exposed and is a third round draft pick who subsequently sucks in the NFL, is much less than it was for Leinart due to the rookie wage scale in the current CBA. It's still very big in normal person terms, but it isn't 30 mil any more.

# ? Dec 13, 2013 23:44

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Sometimes Mike Tanier can crawl up his own rear end a little bit and be insufferable, but every once in a while he strikes gold and I remember why he is my favorite journalist. Here's something to wash the taste of your mouths.

Mike Tanier posted:

Saints at Rams

4:25 p.m. Sunday, Fox
Line: Saints by 6

The Saints clinch a playoff berth with their next win. We are all aware of their home-road disparity, but it doesn't really apply to a three-fourths occupied dome the same way it applies to a Legends of Thrash festival in the Seattle rain, so let's not get too amped by the "Saints can prove themselves on the road" angle.

Let's talk instead about the Rams' effort to win the NFL variance crown. Variance is the statistical measure of weekly ups and downs. It's quantified inconsistency, and Football Outsiders has kept track of it for over a decade. Here are the five most inconsistent teams in the NFL, according to deep statistical analysis:

Eagles
Rams
Jets
Colts
Packers

The Eagles are fading fast from the variance charts. Their place at the top is a holdover from their early-season boom-or-bust experiments and Matt Barkley's brief foray into turnover-per-possession tactics. Similarly, the Packers are not so much week-to-week inconsistent as All Pro-to-"shrimpy quarterback on his third team of the year" inconsistent. That leaves the Rams, Jets, and Colts battling for bipolar position, and it's a heck of a race.

To pass the Eagles, the Rams must have a great game on Sunday. They can then clinch the variance crown by playing poorly against the Buccaneers but routing the Seahawks in the season finale. Of course, doing so would make them predictable, which is no way to claim a prize for unpredictability. Look for the Rams to surprise us by not surprising us this week. It's what they do best. We think.

Prediction: Saints 28, Rams 17

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Dec 14, 2013

# ? Dec 14, 2013 02:28

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Mr. Funny Pants posted:

This is correct if you assume that everyone's number one goal and priority in life is making as much money as possible. If that's what you want, that's fine, but some people don't. It's pretty obvious to me that Florio can't comprehend the notion that someone might genuinely value their school experience for something other than prepping them for a pro sports career.

A person valuing their college party time is literally an idiot

# ? Dec 14, 2013 06:27

Redeye Flight: Mar 26, 2010; God, I'm so tired. What the hell did I post last night?

go3 posted:

A person valuing their college party time is literally an idiot

Some people might just like to learn. Four years in undergrad with a part-time job a few days a week, classes a few other days, and tons of time to surf the Internet, play video games, and write was what I consider some of the happiest days of my life. I actually find I'm more creatively stimulated in a learning environment. So if I could make NFL money for like a year or two and then use that to comfortably go to school for the rest of my life, I'd be happy as a clam.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 09:09

GenHavoc: Jul 19, 2006; Vive L'Empreur!
Vive La Surcouf!

go3 posted:

A person valuing things other than what I value is literally an idiot

There you go.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 13:25

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

GenHavoc posted:

There you go.

No, if you value college party time over party time as a millionaire NFL quarterback you're pretty much an idiot.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 14:16

TheChirurgeon: Aug 7, 2002; Remember how good you are; Taco Defender

go3 posted:

A person valuing their college party time is literally an idiot

I'm pretty sure nothing you've ever experienced compares to Matt Leinart's "college party time" at USC during his final year.

Also ask yourself which you think Leinart enjoyed more: His final year of college football, surrounded by fame and glory, winning games, or his first year in the NFL, struggling to get starting time behind Kurt Warner and finishing with a 4-7 record.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 14:28

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I don't see why any of you care what they do. Outside of maybe "my team was going to draft him, now I have to wait.

" it literally has no relevance to you.

I mean I could see if it was something horrible, but this is rather innocuous.

CharlestheHammer fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Dec 14, 2013

# ? Dec 14, 2013 15:10

Mr. Funny Pants: Apr 9, 2001

go3 posted:

A person valuing their college party time is literally an idiot

A person who thinks that partying is the only thing college is good for is literally an idiot.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 15:34

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Im sorry I forgot that college was about producing well rounded peoplololololol

# ? Dec 14, 2013 20:58

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

I mean are seriously postulating that Heisman trophy winning, #10 draft pick, good looking and rich white man Matt Leinart would only be swimming in pussy if he stayed at USC.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 21:05

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

Oh my god nobody cares.

# ? Dec 14, 2013 21:43

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

How much digital ink must be spilt over Matt Leinart's career

# ? Dec 14, 2013 21:46

Gerty: Jun 11, 2013; by XyloJW

I don't think it's even possible to swim inside of a pussy.

e: unless you're like a zygote or some poo poo

Gerty fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Dec 15, 2013

# ? Dec 15, 2013 01:02

midwat: May 6, 2007

Peter King's email was hacked. The email's recipients knew wasn't him because it got to the point in fewer than 40,000 words.

# ? Dec 15, 2013 04:22

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Matt Leinart lived like a Roman emperor his last year at USC; you can't put a price on that but people will try

# ? Dec 15, 2013 06:02

Ribsauce: Jul 29, 2006; Blacks in the back.

I'd say the 10 million guaranteed he lost out by not being the 2005 first pick is a good place to start when you are figuring a price

# ? Dec 15, 2013 16:38

superaielman: Mar 16, 2006; You can't harm me. Are you a fucking ass? Do you not know who I am? He must not know who I am.

Ehud from earlier this year posted:

I just saw this tweet and I had to revive this thread.

@OmarKelly: RT @robklopatek: no offense, but if Phins brass are influenced by beat writers that is the epitome of idiocy� they answer to me & my peers.

@OmarKelly: Really think about it? Who is the world asks Ireland, Ross, Philbin,coaches tough questions. Critiques them Challenges them.How many people?

Omar Kelly thinks NFL executives and coaches answer to him hahahahaha

quote:

Omar Kelly on Twitter last night

Omar Kelly ‏@OmarKelly 12h

Confession: I just dug my finger in my belly button then smelled the finger. HUGE MISTAKE!

The fourth estate, ladies and gentlemen.

# ? Dec 16, 2013 17:11

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

@OmarKelly: To @YourBuddyJules YOUR perspective is based on what you see, deal with. You don't live in my world so don't question how I do me.

@OmarKelly: Most of u can't handle your boss second guessing you, or your neighbor hating on your lawn. Try thousands of people hatin or playing gotcha

@OmarKelly: Sad thing is I know 1/3 of the people following me hate me, and only pay attention to every word I say to catch me slipping.

@OmarKelly: However, my skin is thick. I'm winning, living the life I dreamed about. I made it out my hood. I don't stress to pay my bills. I'm GOOD!

@OmarKelly: On Sunday my homeboy who grew up 3 houses from me was murdered. People don't survive where I come from. I'm a success story an inspiration.

@OmarKelly: I don't change the way I look, or what I'm about because I know there's some young boy or girl out there looking at me motivation to make it

@OmarKelly: That's not everybodies story, everybodies journey, but it is mine. I OWN IT. So keep hating. Makes me work harder.

ahahahahahaha

# ? Dec 17, 2013 19:18

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

He's such a goddamn caricature of himself at this point holy poo poo

# ? Dec 17, 2013 19:39

Parlett316: Dec 6, 2002; Jon Snow is viciously stabbed by his friends in the night's watch for wanting to rescue Mance Rayder from Ramsay Bolton

Fellas, fellas, I gotta tell ya, we finally reached peak sources:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/wp/2013/12/17/anonymous-sources-on-the-redskins/

quote:

SOURCES ON THE REDSKINS, BY DAN STEINBERG

Mike Shanahan will not resign from his job and actually would like to return to Washington next season as long as he can run the organization the way he wants, according to multiple sources. [1] The Washington Redskins were sorting through their options�and one of the possibilities is firing Shanahan for cause and attempting to withhold the money due to him for the remainder of his contract, according to multiple people familiar with the situation.[2] Sources close to the Redskins� coaching staff [say] that the coaches believe they will be fired, but there�s been no official determination from the organization.[3]

Disillusioned with the way Snyder was running the organization, Shanahan cleaned out his office in advance of last January�s wild-card playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks and expected to leave the team whenever the season ended, according to a source who spoke on the condition of anonymity.[4] In recent weeks, according to two sources close to the situation, the elder Griffin has politicked Snyder to hire Baylor coach Art Briles, who coached the younger Griffin to a Heisman Trophy, to replace Shanahan.[5]

According to current and former staff members, Kyle Shanahan has been granted virtual autonomy by Mike Shanahan to guide the team. Furthermore, Kyle Shanahan has long had a very strained relationship with Griffin, sources said, with one staff member saying Shanahan treats Griffin like, �a JV quarterback.�[6] One source who has known the Griffin family for at least six years recently compared the elder Griffin to the late Earl Woods, Tiger Woods� father and a man who many believe lived in the reflective glory of his son�s accomplishments.[7]

�Ultimately, it�s his father�s fault for pacifying his son,� the source said.[8]

[Admit it: you don't even know which father this is referring to - ed.]

Despite speculation that the Redskins would fire Shanahan for cause, there is �no chance� that will happen in the words of a lawyer familiar with the contract.[9]

A Redskins player [said] that Griffin and Mike Shanahan passed each other in the hallway this week without saying a word.[10] Despite what Shanahan has said publicly�sources affirm that the coach switched quarterbacks for performance reasons.[11] Several people with knowledge of the deliberations confirmed Snyder did not object when told by Shanahan. But those people, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the topic, said it is not clear whether Snyder endorsed the maneuver.[12]

A person with knowledge of the relationship between Snyder and Shanahan said�Snyder has attempted to meet all of the requests made by Shanahan during his coaching tenure by moving the Redskins� training camp to Richmond, building an indoor practice facility at Redskins Park, hiring a new chef to cook meals for players and coaches at the club�s headquarters and upgrading the team�s travel accommodations during road trips.[13]

Shanahan privately told people close to him that he felt Snyder�s behavior with regard to Griffin was a �complete farce.�[14] At Baylor they didn�t put RGIII�s bad plays up on the board in the meeting rooms. Sources familiar with the situation say he has asked the Redskins to do the same.[15] As a team source put it: �Robert is not a bad kid. That�s not it at all. But he doesn�t listen right now.�[16]

RGIII has told teammates he believes he�ll be playing for a different head coach in 2014.[17] People familiar with the situation�perceive RGIII as kind of insecure.[18] [A] team source agreed that Griffin has the kind of athletic confidence/arrogance that causes him to ignore the rules of physics.[19] One person familiar with the matter said�there were �a number of things on the table.�[20]

REFERENCES

1 � Adam Schefter, ESPN.com.

2 � Mark Maske, WaPo.com.

3 � NFL.com, Dec. 12.

4 � Dan Graziano, ESPN.com.

5 � Jason Cole, Bleacher Report.

6 � Jason LaCanfora, CBSSports.com.

7 - Jason Cole, Bleacher Report.

8 - Jason LaCanfora, CBSSports.com.

9 - Adam Schefter, ESPN.com.

10 � NFL.com, Dec. 15.

11 � NFL.com, Dec. 12.

12 � Mark Maske, Washington Post, Dec. 13.

13 � Mark Maske, Washington Post, Dec. 8.

14- Dan Graziano, ESPN.com.

15 � NFL.com, Nov. 24.

16 � Jason Cole, Bleacher Report.

17 - NFL.com, Dec. 15.

18 - NFL.com, Nov. 24.

19 - Jason Cole, Bleacher Report.

20 - Mark Maske, WaPo.com.

It's so dumb.

# ? Dec 17, 2013 21:23

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Ahahaha he uses some shithead from Bleacher Report as a "source"

# ? Dec 17, 2013 21:24

Parlett316: Dec 6, 2002; Jon Snow is viciously stabbed by his friends in the night's watch for wanting to rescue Mance Rayder from Ramsay Bolton

Chris Gaines posted:

Ahahaha he uses some shithead from Bleacher Report as a "source"

You didn't read the article did you.

# ? Dec 17, 2013 21:26

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

~~I knew it'd be terrible so no!~~ Nevermind I see it was a parody piece??

\/\/ I did

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Dec 17, 2013

# ? Dec 17, 2013 21:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 13, 2024 04:04

Badfinger: Dec 16, 2004; Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Chris Gaines posted:

I knew it'd be terrible so no!

You should read it.

# ? Dec 17, 2013 21:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

«‹›91 »