The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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Modus Trollens: Sep 12, 2010

belgend posted:

I get to the third paragraph and I can only think of Slavoj Zizek wearing a Slovenian national team shirt and tugging and pulling it and so on and so on

lol

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:23

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:00

belgend: Mar 6, 2008; me when The Club do another win

quote:

The painful truth is that much of the entertainment on offer in the English League for a notable period has been based on a surfeit of errors and a limited application of tactics.

The propensity for harem-scarem, territory-based play led to unstructured goalmouth action and excitement for fans unable to recognise the difference between constructed chances and random event. The influx of foreign talent on the playing and management side has gradually ousted over-priced under-technically skilled English players, who were not as good as their cheap-seats media portrayed.
The fame you watch now is not lacking in entertainment, it is different. It mirrors more careful, more thoughtful, more intelligent Italian football, that does not over-value attacking in relation to defending.

There are now better educated managers, staff and analysts - with access to far better technology - that are capable of calculating the odds of success of on-field actions and patterns of play.

That this does not chime with Sun- reading simplicity and skewed views of yesteryear in terms of entertainment is simply too bad. We have - like many others - chosen to replace low percentage territory-based forward-thrusting with a more controlled and controllable balance. Any poor chess player can "nearly win" by attacking dramatically at the game's opening. In due course he of course loses. The glorious failure has been the English staple for ever.

mods rename me unstructured goalmouth action

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:28

Modus Trollens: Sep 12, 2010

a surfeit of errors

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:38

aeverous: Nov 13, 2009

Well then I want low percentage territory-based forward-thrusting

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:38

oliwan: Jul 20, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo

can I have harem-scarem please.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:39

General Probe: Dec 28, 2004; Has this been done before?; Soiled Meat

Is that the same loving dude? Does he have some sort of mental illness?

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:42

not not luvd: Nov 17, 2006; My Arse!

General Probe posted:

Is that the same loving dude? Does he have some sort of mental illness?

He's a plastic Norwich fan so presumably.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:43

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

It sounds like someones coded a 'Bloke in the pub > Dortmund fan' translation engine and it's working.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:47

oliwan: Jul 20, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo

The grandiloquent sesquipedalianism is veritably remarkable.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 17:55

Thrifting Day!: Nov 25, 2006

It's loving unreadable but I know for a fact he posts every "article" with a smug grin on his face awaiting a phonecall from The guardian to be a new pundit on their football podcast.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 18:35

sticksy: May 26, 2004; Nap Ghost

"low percentage territory-based forward-thrusting" sounds like my junior year of high school, am i right, guys?

# ? Jan 3, 2014 19:00

paddyboat: Feb 20, 2013; Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

I've got dibs on "sepia-tinted arriviste"

# ? Jan 3, 2014 19:07

Meat Wagon: Jul 14, 2004

I like that he used bouncebackability seriously.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 19:17

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Are we sure this isn't AVB?

# ? Jan 3, 2014 19:32

Babby Thatcher: May 3, 2004; concept by my buddy kyle

he's a five-tool philosopher and no mistake

# ? Jan 3, 2014 20:05

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

Haggis Heed posted:

It's loving unreadable but I know for a fact he posts every "article" with a smug grin on his face awaiting a phonecall from The guardian to be a new pundit on their football podcast.

The guardian is too lowbrow for him. I exect he will do his own podcast with zonal marking man and swissramble man.

# ? Jan 3, 2014 22:01

I am OK: Mar 9, 2009; LAWL

That dude is amazing.

# ? Jan 4, 2014 12:54

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Dibs on Sun-reading simplicity please

# ? Jan 4, 2014 15:42

oliwan: Jul 20, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo

i really wish the mods would change everyone's name to (something / their desired phrase) from those posts

# ? Jan 4, 2014 15:58

Paperhouse: Dec 31, 2008; I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

We will not reach top four that's for sure, and there's no point playing for rest of the places in Europe. Should we release all players like Young, Valencia, Rio, Vidic, Giggs, Hernandez and also sack David Moyes after we ensure non-relegation and then walk over all the matches and suspend all club operation to save money and use that money to buy some world class players so that next season we can at least get top four? Apparently I can't see us having any money, they don't buy any players any more, so saving money is important, right?

# ? Jan 4, 2014 19:35

The Finn: Aug 27, 2004; إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

oliwan posted:

i really wish the mods would change everyone's name to (something / their desired phrase) from those posts

I genuinely would but most of those names are too long for the forums.

# ? Jan 4, 2014 19:41

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Meat Wagon posted:

I like that he used bouncebackability seriously.

It's a perfectly cromulent word.

# ? Jan 4, 2014 22:53

Eric Cantonese: Dec 21, 2004; You should hear my accent.

# ? Jan 5, 2014 19:17

paddyboat: Feb 20, 2013; Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

wrong thread roflmaoooo

# ? Jan 5, 2014 19:28

irlZaphod: Mar 26, 2004; Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

# ? Jan 5, 2014 20:58

aeverous: Nov 13, 2009

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:18

not not luvd: Nov 17, 2006; My Arse!

New favourite post

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:22

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Eboracum posted:

New favourite post

I seldom agree with you but this is one of those times.

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:23

The Finn: Aug 27, 2004; إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

aeverous posted:

Close the thread

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:24

irlZaphod: Mar 26, 2004; Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

Hey guys, lifelong New York Yankees/Manchester Devils/London Chelseas fan here

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:25

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

irlZaphod posted:

Hey guys, lifelong New York Yankees fan here

Have I got news for you.

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:25

Modus Trollens: Sep 12, 2010

aeverous posted:

peak reddit?

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:25

aeverous: Nov 13, 2009

Modus Trollens posted:

peak reddit?

Checking the "Red Devils" reddit when Man U have a bad match is always fun but this one was peak reddit yes its off the charts

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:30

Ho Chi Meeeeee: Jun 13, 2008; let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on

aeverous posted:

I love this.

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:41

DickEmery: Dec 5, 2004

aeverous posted:

On the day Eusebio died.

Close loving football.

# ? Jan 5, 2014 22:59

crappledan: Dec 17, 2009; Serious Title Contenders

rename me tactical failure

# ? Jan 6, 2014 02:11

rats off to ya: Jul 22, 2008

Lmao

# ? Jan 6, 2014 02:21

Your Weird Uncle: Jan 16, 2006; Boneless Rusto Thrash.

aeverous posted:

holy lord

# ? Jan 6, 2014 04:15

Eric Cantonese: Dec 21, 2004; You should hear my accent.

# ? Jan 6, 2014 05:24

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:00

sircozzie: Jul 8, 2011; Release the Meerkat

Poor Eusebio read that post.

# ? Jan 6, 2014 10:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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