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8ender
Sep 24, 2003

clown is watching you sleep

xzzy posted:

Those are fun when the gap is big enough to wedge your car into.

My beat to poo poo BMW is perfect for this and I do it whenever possible. Come on, ding the doors, theres barely anything left to ding.

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MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

devmd01 posted:

Set up a livestream. :allears:

Re-set your mailbox in six feet of concrete, and set up a live stream.

:unsmigghh:

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.

leica posted:

I'm all for having nice cars, but people that care more about their cars than their loving children really irk me. MY CAR BETTER NOT GET SCRATCHED OR ILL KILL BABY ANIMALS AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
People that care more about their loving children than my cars really irk me.

EightBit
Jan 7, 2006
I spent money on this line of text just to make the "Stupid Newbie" go away.

I pulled a few similar stunts with my doorless TJ last summer. Those lovely nerf bars might not stand up to rocks for poo poo, but they'll ruin your doors, same as my meaty tires :allears:. The :btroll:s come real huge down here in San Antonio, and they can't stand the heat for poo poo; I'm not skinny by any stretch, but I can tolerate 105F with a little breeze while I fiddle with my stereo and make sure my groceries aren't going to blow out on the highway.

sarcastx
Feb 26, 2005



Went to Outback Steakhouse a couple weeks ago for a family dinner, no idea why but on this particular night the place was packed.

It was also unusually cold (even by Wisconsin standards) so obviously, everyone made a conscious effort to park as close to the building as possible. Unfortunately; there were only two spots available - one next to a moron in that Buick SUV shaped like a tick who had parked diagonally over two spaces, and the other way down the back, a long walk from the building. I wanted to park next to the tick badly; but I was concerned that if I did, that a person so loving blind to how poo poo their parking was would probably clip my Legacy on the way out. So I did what anybody in my situation would have done.

I parked down the back, and on the way past the Buick, stopped to finger-paint dicks all over the driver's side of the car in the built-on road salt.

edit: here's what I mean-

sarcastx fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Jan 4, 2014

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
When I go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning I always park in front of the door and go inside. My car is not very big and so this lets idiots in SUV's or trucks pull in at stupid angles behind me and have the back of their car sticking into my parking spot :golfclap:

IPCRESS
May 27, 2012
The solution is obviously to declare that you're in fear of your life, stand your ground, and shoot them dead.

But being serious a moment: I've never encountered this level of idiocy*; is there something in the US that makes it a breeding ground for dangerous levels of fuckwittery?

*: Hard parking, very, very occasionally. Everything else sounds like a case for a eugenics program.

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester
Oct 3, 2000

IPCRESS posted:

The solution is obviously to declare that you're in fear of your life, stand your ground, and shoot them dead.

But being serious a moment: I've never encountered this level of idiocy*; is there something in the US that makes it a breeding ground for dangerous levels of fuckwittery?

*: Hard parking, very, very occasionally. Everything else sounds like a case for a eugenics program.
I've never encountered it either. But then, I live in Canada (Vermont)

MrOnBicycle
Jan 18, 2008
Wait wat?
Because it's the land of the free, and home of the brave. :911: :patriot:

Ferremit
Sep 14, 2007
if I haven't posted about MY LANDCRUISER yet, check my bullbars for kangaroo prints

EightBit posted:

I pulled a few similar stunts with my doorless TJ last summer. Those lovely nerf bars might not stand up to rocks for poo poo, but they'll ruin your doors, same as my meaty tires :allears:. The :btroll:s come real huge down here in San Antonio, and they can't stand the heat for poo poo; I'm not skinny by any stretch, but I can tolerate 105F with a little breeze while I fiddle with my stereo and make sure my groceries aren't going to blow out on the highway.

I was in one of our work vehicles a few years back, which has the full compliment of ARB armor on it- Bullbar, side rails, sill protectors. Sitting in a shopping centre waiting for the other guy in the crew to get back from subway and a woman pulled up beside us and just flung her door open into the side of the work truck.

Which smashed a beautiful 1.5" dia dent into the edge of her door at about lock level and stopped the door from latching.

MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

Ferremit posted:

I was in one of our work vehicles a few years back, which has the full compliment of ARB armor on it- Bullbar, side rails, sill protectors. Sitting in a shopping centre waiting for the other guy in the crew to get back from subway and a woman pulled up beside us and just flung her door open into the side of the work truck.

Which smashed a beautiful 1.5" dia dent into the edge of her door at about lock level and stopped the door from latching.

Theres a special place in hell for people who don't loving pay attention to the edges of their doors.

IOwnCalculus
Apr 2, 2003





Ferremit posted:

I was in one of our work vehicles a few years back, which has the full compliment of ARB armor on it- Bullbar, side rails, sill protectors. Sitting in a shopping centre waiting for the other guy in the crew to get back from subway and a woman pulled up beside us and just flung her door open into the side of the work truck.

Which smashed a beautiful 1.5" dia dent into the edge of her door at about lock level and stopped the door from latching.

I expected the next part to be where she somehow tried to blame you for the damage.

Re: hard parking, in some cases it has to do with the fact that any mouthbreathing moron can buy a Suburban or F 350 without having the slightest idea of how to maneuver or park it. The rest is good old American self entitlement / gently caress You Got Mine.

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Nodoze posted:

When I go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning I always park in front of the door and go inside. My car is not very big and so this lets idiots in SUV's or trucks pull in at stupid angles behind me and have the back of their car sticking into my parking spot :golfclap:

I'd say to not pull so far into the spot but they'd likely just hit you pulling in instead.

Galler
Jan 28, 2008


I just park out in the rear end end off the parking lot away from everyone and walk a bit further. As an added bonus I get to watch the people that pulled into the parking lot ahead of me circle around the spots next to the building for a few minutes waiting for one to open up so they can avoid walking an extra 5 yards.

MrOnBicycle
Jan 18, 2008
Wait wat?
I also park further back. It takes me about 10-20 seconds longer to get into the store.. which, when you think about it, just makes the assholes parking in handicapped spots out of laziness even more assholey.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

I take the first vacant spot I see.

Doesn't change the fact that an rear end in a top hat can show up anywhere, without warning.

DeusExMachinima
Sep 2, 2012

:siren:This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!:siren:

Put this loser on ignore immediately!
Began day one of my drive up the east coast. Taking a mountain road in Virginia to "save time" ended up going around about 20 S-shaped turns with a steep drop off at midnight. Local drivers come zooming around the turns in the median with hi-beams on nonstop. Can't wait for the WV part of the drive!

You guys joke about people caring more about their cars than their kids but some of the creatures I've seen yelling at mechanics in Orange County...

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

MrOnBicycle posted:

I also park further back. It takes me about 10-20 seconds longer to get into the store.. which, when you think about it, just makes the assholes parking in handicapped spots out of laziness even more assholey.

Exactly. Why do people have 5 minutes to wait for a parking spot that is only 20 seconds closer walk to the store?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

The Costco near me is particularly bad for that.. 50% of the traffic in the lot is going to be sharks creeping up and down the "good aisles" trying to score an awesome parking spot. They stalk people pushing carts, they stop in the middle of the road if they don't see any targets, they'll even stop at the front door to drop off passengers so they can continue running laps looking for that perfect location to park their land boat.

Parking isn't scarce either, drive a couple lanes over and there's plenty of spots. I've legitimately never understood this behavior, and would love to watch an interview with some of these people to find out what their justification is.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

xzzy posted:

The Costco near me is particularly bad for that.. 50% of the traffic in the lot is going to be sharks creeping up and down the "good aisles" trying to score an awesome parking spot. They stalk people pushing carts, they stop in the middle of the road if they don't see any targets, they'll even stop at the front door to drop off passengers so they can continue running laps looking for that perfect location to park their land boat.

Parking isn't scarce either, drive a couple lanes over and there's plenty of spots. I've legitimately never understood this behavior, and would love to watch an interview with some of these people to find out what their justification is.

They're fat and lazy and can't manage to walk an extra 20 ft.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Obviously, but I want to see them put it into actual words.

Bulk Vanderhuge
May 2, 2009

womp womp womp womp
Thanks hambeast Grand Caravan lady for almost merging into me and blowing through a lit crosswalk with crossing pedestrians. I'm sure texting at 20km/hr in a snowstorm is a great loving idea.

GoodbyeTurtles
Aug 18, 2012

:suezo:

Parking talk:

I have a tiny car, if I park straight in a space there is always about a 2ft gap to the lines each side. I know the paint is looking a bit past it, but there's no excuse for the 20+ marks on each side where some moron has let their door swing into mine. :argh:

EightBit
Jan 7, 2006
I spent money on this line of text just to make the "Stupid Newbie" go away.

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

Parking talk:

I have a tiny car, if I park straight in a space there is always about a 2ft gap to the lines each side. I know the paint is looking a bit past it, but there's no excuse for the 20+ marks on each side where some moron has let their door swing into mine. :argh:

The solution to this is aggressive rock sliders :getin:

Mercury Ballistic
Nov 14, 2005

not gun related
I live on a street that a lot of folks like to use as a cut through. It's a 25mph zone as it goes through my neighborhood, and connects two slightly bigger roads. Ok, cool, people gotta get to work. My problem is that most people I see tend to do more like 35.
Now that I have a kid, I don't like people flying past my house at 10+ over, especially as it is a residential area. The county police do semi annual traps so I guess that is something to look fwd to.

Maybe I am the rear end in a top hat, but on my own street, I go the drat speed limit.

In addition, (maybe this make me an rear end in a top hat too, I don't know) I like to back my cars up my driveway. It makes leaving easier, I can see better when I depart, (it's my driveway I don't really need a reason) Cars behind me like to give me the stink eye or a honk when I decide to do this. I always signal, slowly stop and back in. How is this any different than parallel parking? I just wave at the honkers.

I have also experienced the phenomenon where a car will go slower than you when you are in cruise, but as soon as you attempt to pass, they will either match in your blind spot or pass you outright till they slow down 3 minutes later and you pass them again. The pace matchers I like to slowly draw up their speed in +1mph increments.

Beach Bum
Jan 13, 2010

Mercury Ballistic posted:

I have also experienced the phenomenon where a car will go slower than you when you are in cruise, but as soon as you attempt to pass, they will either match in your blind spot or pass you outright till they slow down 3 minutes later and you pass them again. The pace matchers I like to slowly draw up their speed in +1mph increments.

I've finally started passing as I would on a two lane road: plan ahead, hammer down until you get past the vehicle and coast back into cruise. When you come up on one of these douchebags at 15+ they don't have time to be dicks.

jammyozzy
Dec 7, 2006

Is that a challenge?

Beach Bum posted:

I've finally started passing as I would on a two lane road: plan ahead, hammer down until you get past the vehicle and coast back into cruise. When you come up on one of these douchebags at 15+ they don't have time to be dicks.

Related, people on the motorway that cruise along and then hit the brakes at every single speed camera so your average speed ends up fractionally higher than theirs. I've taken to planning where they're next likely to brake, jumping out a lane and breezing past at ~80 whilst they tap the brakes yet again (and continue loving up traffic in the process :argh: ). Just loving pick a speed and go at it, idiot. Have you never noticed all the cars rolling through a bit over the limit and still not setting the cameras off?

8ender
Sep 24, 2003

clown is watching you sleep

Bulk Vanderhuge posted:

Thanks hambeast Grand Caravan lady for almost merging into me and blowing through a lit crosswalk with crossing pedestrians. I'm sure texting at 20km/hr in a snowstorm is a great loving idea.

I saw a lady texting in a Ford Escape doing about 60km/h in snow. We went past thee signs warning about the right lane closing and she was still texting. She spotted the construction zone at the last second, slammed on the brakes, and plowed into about a dozen pylons. The Escape ended up sideways blocking both lanes. Then we all got to watch and wait while three city workers and our protagonist attempted to dislodge the tangle of loving pylons from the wheel wells. She was still on the phone while pulling at them.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kitchener Ontario.

Atticus_1354
Dec 10, 2006

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

Beach Bum posted:

I've finally started passing as I would on a two lane road: plan ahead, hammer down until you get past the vehicle and coast back into cruise. When you come up on one of these douchebags at 15+ they don't have time to be dicks.

I wish I could do this when I am on I-10 going 80. I will start to pass someone who is going around 75 and they will of course start to speed up and I will end up going 85 or more before they let me pass or else I will have to be the rear end in a top hat who is in the passing lane without passing. I also hate the people who don't use cruise control and will go up the hills at 65 and then fly down them at 80+. One guy kept flying past me on the downhills only for me to promptly pass him again as he crawls up the next hill. If your car is slow that is fine just stay in the right lane, leave me alone, and stop loving up the flow of traffic for the rest of us.

kastein
Aug 31, 2011

Moderator at http://www.ridgelineownersclub.com/forums/and soon to be mod of AI. MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN. Motronic for VP.
That's why I love having a tractor motor and tires that result in a 12% torque advantage compared to stock, no one expects a clapped out cherokee to accelerate that fast and I can catch jackoffs by surprise when they try to speed up and keep me from passing them :v:

It'll accelerate uphill to 80 pulling a 1000lb trailer without dropping out of overdrive. Kinda fun, actually.

Beach Bum
Jan 13, 2010

Atticus_1354 posted:

I wish I could do this when I am on I-10 going 80. I will start to pass someone who is going around 75 and they will of course start to speed up and I will end up going 85 or more before they let me pass or else I will have to be the rear end in a top hat who is in the passing lane without passing. I also hate the people who don't use cruise control and will go up the hills at 65 and then fly down them at 80+. One guy kept flying past me on the downhills only for me to promptly pass him again as he crawls up the next hill. If your car is slow that is fine just stay in the right lane, leave me alone, and stop loving up the flow of traffic for the rest of us.

That's why I said "Plan Ahead". Start 250ft back when you drop the hammer. Even my Miata gets to 85-90 without dropping a gear by the time I'm next to anyone.

Atticus_1354
Dec 10, 2006

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

Beach Bum posted:

That's why I said "Plan Ahead". Start 250ft back when you drop the hammer. Even my Miata gets to 85-90 without dropping a gear by the time I'm next to anyone.

Yeah I would rather not get a speeding ticket. The cops along most of the stretch I drive will ticket for anything over 80 and I am broke enough as it is.

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.

Beach Bum posted:

I've finally started passing as I would on a two lane road: plan ahead, hammer down until you get past the vehicle and coast back into cruise. When you come up on one of these douchebags at 15+ they don't have time to be dicks.

Down this path lies sportbike ownership

Krakkles
May 5, 2003

Snowdens Secret posted:

Down this path lies sportbike ownership
Hell, pretty much anything 400cc+ that's true, it doesn't even have to be a sportbike.

Krakkles fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Feb 22, 2018

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.
I know, I meant the "don't give them time to be dicks" part. As bike power comes up, the dick time window asymptotically approaches zero.

randomidiot
May 12, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)

Mercury Ballistic posted:

Maybe I am the rear end in a top hat, but on my own street, I go the drat speed limit.

In addition, (maybe this make me an rear end in a top hat too, I don't know) I like to back my cars up my driveway. It makes leaving easier, I can see better when I depart, (it's my driveway I don't really need a reason) Cars behind me like to give me the stink eye or a honk when I decide to do this. I always signal, slowly stop and back in. How is this any different than parallel parking? I just wave at the honkers.

On residential roads, I'm that guy doing the speed limit - often quite a bit under if I see kids out and there's cars parked along the street.

I tend to back into my driveway at home, along with backing into the parking spaces at work. Between the tint and spoiler, it's difficult to back out of a parking spot during the day - and since I'm doing delivery for my entire shift at work, it's a lot easier (and faster, and frankly, safer) for me to pull forward out of the parking spaces instead of backing out.

randomidiot fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Jan 5, 2014

8ender
Sep 24, 2003

clown is watching you sleep

Krakkles posted:

Uh ... with those you just roll on and pass them whenever you feel like it.

Hell, pretty much anything 400cc+ that's true, it doesn't even have to be a sportbike.

I do this with my 76 KZ650 and pass cars like they're standing still.

StormDrain
May 22, 2003

Thirteen Letter
Dear stranger driving a 96 Subaru wagon with a coexist sticker, Sorry for going 5 under the speed limit on the icy highway in the passing lane passing people going 10 under. I understand why you flew past all of us at 10 over in the far right lane. I hope your hand didn't get cold throwing me the largest bird I've ever seen.

InterceptorV8
Mar 9, 2004

Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.
How about when it goes from single lane to passing lane and the fucker that was doing 50 is now doing 75 so you can't pass in the safe passing zone, and then they drop back down to 50 when it's two lane again. Another bitch is mountain roads. You don't know how many times I have gotten stuck behind a person doing 10 under the speed limit because they are scared because the road goes left and right, then as soon as it is a passing zone, they go 20 over. I've just given up on these morons that don't use the turnouts, and will outbrake them into the corner. Much shame is brought onto the Fatherland when a BMW gets outbraked by a non-turbo F250 4x4. And don't get me started on the clown in the WRX that finally pulled over because I got sick of waiting for him to learn how to drive their car and out-cornered them in my one ton dually.

I'd never seen a car push so bad in my life, I think the guy had to clean his shorts out. Slower traffic use turn-outs! I don't cut fuckers slack in midlife crisis mobiles. You bought a sportscar, you took it on a mountain road, now drive it so I can't catch you, or use the loving turn-outs. By the same token, I'll let you pass ASAP if you catch me. Which to date has only been a couple of Sunbeam Tigers and Vintage 911's out for a jolly cruise driving them like they stole them.

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nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

InterceptorV8 posted:

I'd never seen a car push so bad in my life, I think the guy had to clean his shorts out. Slower traffic use turn-outs! I don't cut fuckers slack in midlife crisis mobiles. You bought a sportscar, you took it on a mountain road, now drive it so I can't catch you, or use the loving turn-outs. By the same token, I'll let you pass ASAP if you catch me. Which to date has only been a couple of Sunbeam Tigers and Vintage 911's out for a jolly cruise driving them like they stole them.

You know who never uses turn outs? Motorcycles. Was stuck behind a harley and two BMW touring bikes from Boonville to Cloverdale on 128 the other day. loving maddening. And I can't safely pass 3 motorcycles in the very short passing zones they do have, esp with 100hp of fury in my Mazda 2.
That said, no one but locals use turn outs for the Mazda. When I had a rental Orange Dodge Charger RT (which quite frankly was slower in the turns), everyone moved.

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