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Twenty Four posted:Managers generally know if they have open positions or not. That is a nice way of saying "After having spoken with you I have decided that I do not want to hire you". They just can't really say that.
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Jan 5, 2014 06:36
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I have bombed the gently caress out of some interviews in my time, and at the very least they'll wait until you send the follow-up e-mail to tell you "the position has already been filled" or something. I have never once been to an interview and had it end with the person interviewing me saying "LOL we never had this job opening anyway, thanks for letting us waste your day." That seems pretty terrible.
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Jan 5, 2014 07:32
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Benny, take this from a grad school drop out. You aren't ready. You are going for all the wrong reasons. Your time would be better served by looking harder for a job or getting some sort of professional certificate. Anything but grad school really. Also take a look at jobs in North and South Dakota. There are more jobs than warm bodies up there, so you might get lucky.
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Jan 5, 2014 12:30
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in_cahoots posted:Not to mention the fact that it's too late to take the GRE now. Even if you do apply, it won't be until next fall for admittance in 2015. What a tragedy, guess he'll just have to relax and read comic books in the meantime.
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Jan 5, 2014 13:57
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in_cahoots posted:Your problem isn't your education, it's your functional abilities. A 3.1 from a lower-tier school won't get you into a decent grad school, and even a decent grad school isn't going to get you a professorship. You might be able to swing community college, or rather someone else in your position could if he actually had executive functioning skills. Yeah, you should really consider what your expectations are before going to grad school. If you intend to be a librarian: Really do some research on job prospects. It's a very over-crowded market right now; talk to some people who have an MLIS about how their job searches are going. Municipal and county budgets are being slashed everywhere, so full-time public library jobs are being reduced. University libraries have a fair number of jobs, but they're tenured positions and once someone gets one, they stay until they die. Most people who get an MLIS are lucky to get a gig paying over $22K a year. I considered going into this field myself, but changed my mind due to the lack of prospects. So I worked in a library as an undergrad and took a few undergrad level courses on the subject. I probably had 20-30 friends in college who were starting in this line of work about 10-12 years ago--a grand total of two of them have actually built a career out of it. All the rest came out of grad school with a lot of debt and no job prospects; most of them are either working on a second masters or going to nursing school now. If you intend to be an English professor: Your writing skills indicate that this is not likely the career path for you. But even if you could improve, keep this in mind: Your grades might be good enough to get you into a lower tier grad program. But that isn't going to open a lot of doors for you. If you can't get into a good school, you probably don't have an academic career in you. The lower-tier schools might get you, as in_cahoots says, an adjunct position at a community college, but that's not going to pay anywhere near a living wage. I have a friend who works four or five adjunct jobs, teaching classes at basically any community college or university in the area that will hire him--and for his five teaching gigs, he's able to afford a studio apartment with a Murphy bed. Academia's really not a field I'd recommend getting into right now.
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Jan 5, 2014 16:51
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Go build houses in North Dakota. You'll probably get buff if you don't kill someone first.
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Jan 5, 2014 17:00
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Benny, I am %100 serious when I say go to the Grad School and Academia thread. Write your current plan and see what they have to say. Grad school is full o absolutely merciless criticism, if you think goons are being rough, remember a large part of a thesis is having it brutally criticized. There aren't any excuses. You need to go to that thread and see what people are talking about and dealing with.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:04
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Toriori posted:Benny, I am %100 serious when I say go to the Grad School and Academia thread. Write your current plan and see what they have to say. Grad school is full o absolutely merciless criticism, if you think goons are being rough, remember a large part of a thesis is having it brutally criticized. There aren't any excuses. You need to go to that thread and see what people are talking about and dealing with. No don't send him down to us. Benny, you won't get a professorship for a master's. The most you may get is teaching classes at a community college, but even then that may be tough to get with many PhDs in humanities in the market. Even if a terminal master's program accepted you (though, given your lackluster performance in undergrad and inability to hold a job it's highly unlikely), you'd be pissing money down the drain for nothing.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:28
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Benny the Snake posted:By the way, I didn't get the job. The manager flat out told me that they didn't have a position open after all. What was the job position? Like writing or retail?
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Jan 5, 2014 18:39
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booshi posted:No don't send him down to us. It's more for a wake-up call, though it seems he's immune to them? I hosed up some citation during my first year and my prof accused me of plagiarism and called me "grossly incompetent", despite high grades in the class. It's a good thing she knew me and knew it wasn't me ripping off someones work and was an honest mistake because those kind of mistakes can get you kicked out of a program. One minor gently caress up can cause huge poo poo and I don't think you (Benny) realize how serious that is.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:43
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Benny the Snake posted:That's not exactly a vote of confidence. *Pees in the well* Speaking of, I think someone asked a link for this other legendary thread. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3465034&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
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Jan 5, 2014 19:56
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Benny the Snake posted:Next week I'm going back to school and I'm going to talk to my advisor about graduate school. I'll talk to him about my GPA and whether I'm eligible for a decent program or not. Going back to school is a long term goal for me: my short-term goal is finding work and getting a car. If you have any questions about graduate school I'd be happy to answer them. I just finished my PhD, and I don't think there was anything in my life that took more effort, work, luck, and frustration. Lots of people I know dropped out or quit before they finished, and I was lucky to at least have financial support the whole time.
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Jan 5, 2014 20:12
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You are not a competitive candidate for graduate school. Period. Do not delude yourself into thinking you are - you are not.
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Jan 5, 2014 20:37
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Does anyone have any information on project management certification? I feel as though Benny could greatly benefit from a project management course/curriculum. My boss held a fantastic meeting on project management a few weeks ago. About 10% of it "stuck" with me, just enough to leave me feeling curious. If not just for Benny, I'd like to find a credible program. I forget the name of the book, but it was written by some IBM executive. Basically considered the project management bible. I really think some project management study could help Benny learn some functioning skills/pad his resume. Benny, in all seriousness, grad school is a horrible idea for you. I've been through some of the poo poo you've been through. I've also bounced from job to job to job either getting fired and or doing mediocre work and being the "meh" employee. I've finally gained a decent enough understanding of what it takes to "make it" and it took a lot of work, therapy and admission. I've just recently gone from contract to full time. It was the first time anyone has ever actually been genuinely impressed by my work. There is a lot more to it than doing what your told to do. It sucks, I know it. I know your numb to the criticism, by now and that's fine. Just don't ignore it. At the same time, try not to think of it as negative insults being hurled at you, but more as requirements to become a more dynamic individual. cname fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Jan 5, 2014 |
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Jan 5, 2014 20:37
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cname posted:Does anyone have any information on project management certification? I feel as though Benny could greatly benefit from a project management course/curriculum. Project management/project administration is a bad fit for anyone who has trouble making decisions, thinking on their feet or adapting to change. The best pathway into the field depends a lot on where you're starting from and where you hope to end up (do you want to manage small in-house projects or multi-billion dollar contracts, a specific industry or not). BFC should be able to help you clarify the best options for you but generally speaking it's a field in which experience counts and your formal qualifications aren't worth a drat until you have some experience in a business environment.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:01
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Benny cannot manage a shopping cart or covering a shift for a coworker without loving it up and lying about it, and somebody is suggesting Project Management courses. I loving love this thread.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:44
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Every time I read this thread I sigh and say "Bennnnny" like a disappointed mother.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:50
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Dex posted:Benny cannot manage a shopping cart or covering a shift for a coworker without loving it up and lying about it, and somebody is suggesting Project Management courses. I generally don't recommend career advisors of any kind - and especially not those who have a vested interest in selling you a product - but given that Benny's alternative seems to be long term unemployment, I think that a comprehensive vocational assessment would be a good idea. There's no point in Benny wasting time and money gaining qualifications in fields to which he's inherently unsuited. Any training he undertakes needs to be matched to his individual barriers to employment. Perhaps there are government labour market programmes in his state which conduct such assessments and can give him a more realistic idea of the fields of employment to which he's realistically suited at this time and advise him whether there are resources available to help him overcome his personal barriers to employment.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:57
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Toriori posted:It's more for a wake-up call, though it seems he's immune to them? As much as I think like him, Benny is oddly immune to criticism. I read his Gatsby thread (which he linked to from this thread as an indication of what he spends his time doing) and his writing is often entirely opaque to me. If it's not baffling, his language is often decorative where it should be functional, mawkishly personal and juvenile. At some point in his college career, someone must have pointed out such basic things to him but I'm guessing the advice never "landed". Instead, he says things like "my academic career" when talking about his undergrad. Here's a hint, Benny the Snake: don't go to your college's advisory office and fling around expressions like "in my academic career". Just say "undergrad" or "undergraduate program". But do go talk to the advisors and get their take on this whole thing.
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Jan 5, 2014 23:16
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Uncle Salty posted:
Is there a hope in hell the college is not going to sign him up for some course even if they tell him he can't get into a higher degree programme? Are they even remotely likely to say "you should probably consider learning a trade" rather than "hey, why don't you add a history/philosophy/anthropology/gender studies degree to your resume"?
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Jan 5, 2014 23:42
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Well that's an excellent point. I just meant don't say weird stuff like that to people with post-grad degrees because they are going to laugh at you.
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Jan 5, 2014 23:44
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Don't go to grad school, you need a job where your boss doesn't care if you gently caress up, like the post office, UPS, Qwest, your local parks department, or the Jacksonville Jaguars. When I worked for a parks department I had a coworker who used to work for the city trash pick up. There was a guy he didn't like so he never picked up his trash. This went on for months. In the end they didn't fire him, they TRANSFERRED him to a better job at the parks department. Government work Benny, you were born to be a civil servant. Extra Large Marge fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Jan 5, 2014 |
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Jan 5, 2014 23:49
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Arian_Samurai posted:
Is diversity a thing in the public service in the US? Are there actually targeted positions for people who are disadvantaged in the labour market because this sounds like something Benny should pursue if there are.
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Jan 6, 2014 00:00
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Lolie posted:Is diversity a thing in the public service in the US? Are there actually targeted positions for people who are disadvantaged in the labour market because this sounds like something Benny should pursue if there are. Benny hasn't been diagnosed with a learning or cognitive disability as far as he's told us, has he? I think that would have to happen for him to get any vocational services aimed at that population. There really aren't any vocational services for people who have depression/anxiety/whatever issues he has been diagnosed with here. You're just kind of expected to suck it up and get a job unless your issues are profound enough for disability.
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Jan 6, 2014 00:33
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Benny, I'm sure you have family members or friends with government jobs. For the love of God talk to them. This is your destiny. Go to your City/county/state's webpage and apply for everything, even if it's just seasonal work.
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Jan 6, 2014 01:01
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'Grad School' or uni, whatever the European equivalent is, is not a 'get out of jail free' card to avoid having to get an actual job for a few years. You may as well take a huge pile of 100 dollar bills and burn them every week and spend half of your life in enormous debt. Everyone and his dog have expensive qualifications coming out the wazoo these days and they still don't have their 'dream career'. I hate to be negative but that's the truth.
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Jan 6, 2014 01:04
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pants cat posted:'Grad School' or uni, whatever the European equivalent is, is not a 'get out of jail free' card to avoid having to get an actual job for a few years. You may as well take a huge pile of 100 dollar bills and burn them every week and spend half of your life in enormous debt. Everyone and his dog have expensive qualifications coming out the wazoo these days and they still don't have their 'dream career'. I hate to be negative but that's the truth. Benny's dream job is to be a writer.
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Jan 6, 2014 01:17
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Dex posted:Benny's dream job is to be a writer. Not just a writer, a bestselling author. But that's, as Benny said, "irrelivent".
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Jan 6, 2014 01:25
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pants cat posted:'Grad School' or uni, whatever the European equivalent is, is not a 'get out of jail free' card to avoid having to get an actual job for a few years. You may as well take a huge pile of 100 dollar bills and burn them every week and spend half of your life in enormous debt. Everyone and his dog have expensive qualifications coming out the wazoo these days and they still don't have their 'dream career'. I hate to be negative but that's the truth. It's not impossible to go to grad school relatively debt-free, but only if the university guarantees you reasonably high funding for the time you go there, and you apply for research grants and such. That said, that won't happen to Benny. Also, who in the hell is unable to hold down a cart-pushing job at Target, and then thinks that they should go to grad school?
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Jan 6, 2014 01:35
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Benny has family members who work for the city (or possibly a municipality). He's mentioned the police several times and applied for a job there in maybe summer? It's a really good thought! Edit job, not hob, for the love of Fitzgerald. Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 01:43
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I know he talked to a family member who was a police captain, but he never said anything about it afterwards. Maybe instead of getting a police job, they can use their city connections to get benny a parks job, or roads job. None of this private sector or grad school BS for you Benny, public is where you will excel. Just show up and you'll do well.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:11
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...and if you can't show up, for the love of god, don't tell your supervisor you're too hungover to come in.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:31
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You went to Pomona, right? You can use the Career Center for one year after graduating for free. Register here: http://dsa.csupomona.edu/career/alumni-reg-form.asp And then make as many appointments as they'll let you. Go every week if you can. Bring in an example of your cover letter/resume, as well as a few different jobs you'd like to apply to. Ask one of their counselors to do a mock interview. Meanwhile, go to any events you can: info sessions, workshops, and apply for jobs through their network. Other suggestions: http://whatcanidowiththismajor.com/major/english/ use Indeed.com instead of craigslist Feel free to PM me if you have questions. I work with students and recent alum trying to find jobs (at a different school). Emasculatrix fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 02:38
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Lolie posted:Is diversity a thing in the public service in the US? Are there actually targeted positions for people who are disadvantaged in the labour market because this sounds like something Benny should pursue if there are. I work for the federal government (Department of Defense). We have this guy who works for us that was in a car accident when he was 15 and has significant brain trauma. He's probably Forrest Gump level of mental capacity. They hired him on knowing his limitations for a pneudraulics apprenticeship because he has a Bachelor's in some humanities subject I can't remember(LOL). After he proved himself thoroughly unqualified that to the point of danger to others, he got transferred to my department(Logistics) because someone owed someone a favor. He currently issues tools out from inside a cage like a zoo animal. Highlights of his career with us include a sexual harassment charge brought by a woman he kept shuffling up to, farting, and standing there laughing, and also managing to almost get into 2 physical confrontations with various people who come get tools from him because he's a dipshit and mildly racist. Funny jokes to him are the same statement said over and over to the same person every time he sees them day after day. Example: One of the guys who works in that building is named Jerry, so this guy's idea of a joke is to say "JERRRYYYYY" in a high pitch like a girl every time he sees him. For years. It's not funny when he does it but us other guys have kind of taken it and run with it until it's funny again. Anyway, if this guy can do that, there is a job either counting screws or sweeping floors or something Benny would be qualified for. The trick would be getting himself diagnosed as some kind of disabled person first and then using that through EEO to try and get considered. It's still a really, really long shot and I'm pretty sure his relatives already working there aren't willing to stick their necks out for him.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:43
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natetimm posted:Anyway, if this guy can do that, there is a job either counting screws or sweeping floors or something Benny would be qualified for. The problem is the guy you work with has a bunch of behavioral problems outside of the scope of his actual job. I'm sure he can find the correct tool and hand it to someone just fine, his problem is all of the other bullshit he does outside of that. If benny got a job sweeping floors or counting screws he'd either over-analyze the position and question everything his supervisor or experienced coworker told him to do on the first day (and get fired) or else would cause property damage and/or personal injury to someone and lie about it (and get fired.) Basically, yes, its possible to skate by and fail upwards with government work, but if his previous job experience is anything to go by I don't think he's even capable of skating by.
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Jan 6, 2014 03:17
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AlbieQuirky posted:Benny hasn't been diagnosed with a learning or cognitive disability as far as he's told us, has he? I think that would have to happen for him to get any vocational services aimed at that population. He hasn't mentioned it but it really does sound like he has some cognitive/behavioural issues which might fall under targeted labour market programmes. Unfortunately, I have no idea how you go about accessing that stuff in the US as it doesn't sound like he's worked enough to qualify for unemployment payments of any kind (which is how you end up getting referred to specialised programmes here - vocational rehabilitation is a big thing here at the moment). Maybe BFC could help.
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Jan 6, 2014 03:55
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skaboomizzy posted:I have bombed the gently caress out of some interviews in my time, and at the very least they'll wait until you send the follow-up e-mail to tell you "the position has already been filled" or something. I have never once been to an interview and had it end with the person interviewing me saying "LOL we never had this job opening anyway, thanks for letting us waste your day." That seems pretty terrible. It may be a defensive move. You can't sue for discrimination after not being hired if the job opening is closed.
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Jan 6, 2014 04:07
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Arian_Samurai posted:Benny, I'm sure you have family members or friends with government jobs. For the love of God talk to them. This is your destiny. Go to your City/county/state's webpage and apply for everything, even if it's just seasonal work. And Emasculatrix, I'll go ahead and visit the career center while I'm up there. I'll call ahead and ask if they offer mock interviews and other services. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 04:20 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 04:14
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cname posted:Does anyone have any information on project management certification? I feel as though Benny could greatly benefit from a project management course/curriculum. Are you seriously saying benny should get a PMP or something black beltwhatever? Really? Some IBM dude online won't teach benny how to push a cart or stack a box, much less run a budget and motivate staff.
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Jan 6, 2014 04:15
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Benny the Snake posted:A few of them, actually. I have several family members who work in hosptials or thru the police department and fire department. I previously tried applying for city positions but didn't get anywhere, even with my family connections. I'll try again. So are you finally going to go to the Department of Labor/Unemployment office, too? You know that their purpose is to help people find jobs, right? They do aptitude tests, job placement, résumé prep, interview prep, and have access to other resources and tools that you may need. This has got to be, like, the 5th time I've told you to go there.
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Jan 6, 2014 04:58
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