Idiots on Social Media: I blocked the FBI just in case

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Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

thunderspanks posted:

Sorry your terrible D&D-campaign inspired literary masturbation session sucked, bro.

"People said I'm long winded and can't get to the point, so here's a lot of words saying I didn't understand them!"

# ? Jan 16, 2014 19:51

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:50

Aerdan: Apr 14, 2012; Not Dennis NEDry

Dog-whistle racism at its best, folks.

Aerdan has a new favorite as of 20:23 on Jan 16, 2014

# ? Jan 16, 2014 20:20

into the void: Feb 13, 2011

Tiggum posted:

I posted this thing about the Disability Discrimination Act because it struck me as amusing. A couple of my friends apparently took me seriously and don't seem to understand that anti-discrimination laws don't have anything to do with health and safety or government benefits. Oh, and faking a mental illness is apparently the easy way to get money without working and everyone's doing it.

As someone who worked in a psych detox clinic, there are certainly people who try to scam the system. One guy in particular was a chronic alcoholic and all around shitbag who asked if he could get on disability for his gout. The gout his drinking caused. These people will exist no matter what. Scamming is how they learn to survive. They have zero skills to do anything else (this is not an excuse, just an explanation). However, they are massively outnumbered by people who are seriously mentally ill and can't function in a normal job. Often, just getting by from day to day without having an acute episode is the best they can do. Others who are more high functioning, but still can't work, will volunteer with animal rescue organizations or even mental health groups just to stay busy. And I would rather have the shitbag with gout milking the system, than risk the possibility that a schizophrenic/bipolar/whathaveyou is left to starve and die on the streets.

You can thank every film/television show that depicts a mentally ill person as being fine without their meds for why many many people think mental illness is not a real illness but something people can snap out of if they just try hard enough. Most people have never and will never meet someone who is seriously and chronically mentally ill.

# ? Jan 16, 2014 20:21

Eulogistics: Aug 30, 2012

Aerdan posted:

Dog-whistle racism at its best, folks.

She even asks nicely.

# ? Jan 16, 2014 20:46

Nascardad: Oct 22, 2009; "Racing is in my blood, I can't quite get out of it yet"

From a girl I went to High School with ...

# ? Jan 16, 2014 23:07

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

I like how incredibly progressive they must feel for posting the second one

# ? Jan 16, 2014 23:14

modernwinglish: Dec 28, 2012; I'll squawk the world and molt with you

So there was a robbery close to where I work and it resulted in several schools locking down. Our local news station posted the story to Facebook. (not changing names, it's a public page)

Then later they decided to report that Wisconsin residents are terrible at getting their flu shots. Almost every comment was like these:

This entire anti-science movement is scaring the poo poo out of me. It's like we are traveling backwards to a new middle ages where we practice bloodletting and balancing the humors. What's worse is how loving smug all of these naturopaths are. The other week I messed up my back in a bad way. Thankfully with the help of a physician, physical therapist, and medication I was able to fix it, but that didn't stop tons of people coming out of the woodwork to urge me to see a chiropractor. I even noticed an uptick in passive aggressive status updates from my "natural" friends:

# ? Jan 16, 2014 23:31

bonestructure: Sep 25, 2008; by Ralp

modernwinglish posted:

The placement of the flower gave me a sudden flashback to wtftit.

# ? Jan 16, 2014 23:35

Amused to Death: Aug 10, 2009; google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

I like how they're both complaining about food stamps not so much because it exists but because they couldn't get them. The only moral welfare is my welfare.

Nascardad posted:

From a girl I went to High School with ...

# ? Jan 16, 2014 23:36

Ben Has Tiny Weenus: Feb 17, 2007; MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

bonestructure posted:

The placement of the flower gave me a sudden flashback to wtftit.

You aren't alone.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:20

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

modernwinglish posted:

I like how this implies that exploratory surgery is something done just for the hell of it and not an absolute last ditch resort when someone is loving dying and the doctors have no idea why.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:31

hackeychicken: Jul 23, 2003; Oh my god! What have you done to the internet?!

Does anyone have the other response to this particular link? I remember there was one where the professor got mad at the student because Edward Moneybags III earned that GPA, why should his son suffer?

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:31

Zemyla: Aug 6, 2008; I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

hackeychicken posted:

Does anyone have the other response to this particular link? I remember there was one where the professor got mad at the student because Edward Moneybags III earned that GPA, why should his son suffer?

That's the kind of thing we should put into the OP.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:40

hackeychicken: Jul 23, 2003; Oh my god! What have you done to the internet?!

edit: Dammit...this isn't the "Crazy Emails Thread", we can put these types of things in the OP.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:42

Afraid of Audio: Oct 12, 2012; by exmarx

hackeychicken posted:

I know...

I was sadly thinking the same thing...

That's the other thread.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:43

Amused to Death: Aug 10, 2009; google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

hackeychicken posted:

Does anyone have the other response to this particular link? I remember there was one where the professor got mad at the student because Edward Moneybags III earned that GPA, why should his son suffer?

quote:

To get a more apt example, you need to limit the amount of possible points available to the entire class. We�ll set the student number at 100 for simplicity and the limit at 7,000 points per test so that if it was evenly distributed among all 100 students everyone would get a C on each 100 point test. Let�s assume that the distribution of all points follows the current U.S. distribution of income. Here�s how we end up:

Top 20: 4,137 points, average grade: A+ (206 points out of 100)
Second 20: 1,323 points, average grade: D (66 points out of 100)
Third 20: 812 points, average grade: F (41 points out of 100)
Fourth 20: 497 points, average grade: F (25 points out of 100)
Bottom 20: 245 points, average grade: F (12 points out of 100)

Congratulations, 3/5ths of the class flunked and 1/5th barely passed while 1/5th got more points than they will ever need to pass. None of this accounts for the amount of studying each quintile did by the way; some of the bottom 20 students worked their asses off doing 80 hours of studying just to scrape by with their 12 points each. Why did the top 20 do so well? They own the pencils and sharpeners and only agreed to let the other students use the pencils and sharpeners if they gave up some points to do so.

Welcome to American capitalism.

also there's this longer story one

quote:

The economics teacher concluded his story, "And that's how an entire class failed this course with their experiment in socialism."

A young, brainy, student spoke up "Excuse me, while we're on the subject of grades, I've been having a hard time understanding exactly how grades work at this University, I've asked around a lot and while I have been repeatedly assured that it's fair and that if I work hard I will succeed, I can't actually figure out how my GPA is determined."

The professor perked up and answered "Unlike other schools that punish students for their success, here at Free Republic University we reward our most academically distinguished students. The top students receive first picks at the classes they'd like to take and are also entrusted with the distribution of class supplies, i.e., textbooks, paper and pencils.

Speaking of which, it'd be a good idea for you all to get in contact with our current top student right now, Edgar Moneybags IV, with a GPA of 25.34, he's been entrusted with all of your textbooks."

A student from the back cried out "Edgar isn't here today, he's FAR too busy with his academic pursuits to waste time here, I work for Edgar and you can each rent one of Edgar's textbooks for only 30% of your grades."

The brainy student asked the professor, "How can Edgar have such a high GPA when it's only the first week of class?"

The professor answered, "His father was a student here and when he passed away, Edgar inherited his father's GPA, after all, Edgar Moneybags III earned that GPA, we don't have the right to tell him how it should be distributed."

An angry student stood up "So wait, some student who isn't even here is going to force us to give up 30% of our grade to him just because he was lucky enough to have parents with good grades? We'll all be stuck at a GPA of 2.0"

Edgar's Lackey spoke next "Actually, after all the fees from pencil rental and purchases of paper, we're expecting to get around 40% of your grades, and you're not all going to get perfect scores on every test so you guys can all look forward to a class average of GPA of 1.2 . But that's just from grades alone, if you're motivated like me, you can do some extra work for Edgar and make some extra GPA points, I've got a 4.8 . The GPA points that Edgar spreads around to people who help him actually brings the class average all the way up to 4.4, we call it "Trickle Down"

Another student asked "But wait, doesn't that mean that if we spread the grades around evenly that everyone would have an extremely high GPA?"

The brainy student spoke again, "I heard that half of students have a GPA less than 0.9, I thought you said that no one ever fails."

The Professor interjected "To answer the first question, that doesn't work, remember the story?!, and for the second question, Edgar Moneybags III, as the Valedictorian, was the one who got to choose what counts as a passing grade."

The brainy student spoke up one final time, "I guess that answers my next question, I looked up the grades for that class that did that experiment in socialism. The class earned nearly perfect scores for all three tests! Let me guess, Edgar set the scale so that 100% was a B for the first test, a D for the second test and an F for the third test?"

The professor furiously stammered "Edgar was being generous when he gave them all F's, he should have had them all expelled. Why do you all insist on punishing him for his success!" The professor ran crying from the room.

The brainy student walked to the front of the classroom and spoke "From now on we'll distribute the textbooks to everyone and we'll share the pencils and paper, if you study you'll succeed, if you don't you'll fail. Either way it'll be because of your own effort, not because of what family you happened to be born in."

That brainy student's name: Albert Einstein

e: looks like you posted the first one already

# ? Jan 17, 2014 00:50

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Here's something lighter: Earlier today, Deadspin (which is Gawker's sports website that mostly pokes fun at sports media), posted an amusing screenshot from this morning's SportsCenter.

Not exactly the cutting edge of humor, but worth a giggle if you occasionally laugh at juvenile things. This guy however, expects serious, impactful journalism from every Deadspin post apparently. Names not changed because it's public.

It should have ended when Deadspin replied with BUTT to the tune of 205 likes, but he keeps getting really mad as people make fun of him.

And it goes on and on and on. At some points it looks like he's talking to himself because someone he was arguing with deleted all his comments. But rest assured he keeps attempting to appear more intellectual than a bunch of people laughing at "BUTT," while ignoring the fact that he is really upset about the integrity of his comedic sports website laughing at "BUTT."

# ? Jan 17, 2014 01:50

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

thunderspanks posted:

Sorry your terrible D&D-campaign inspired literary masturbation session sucked, bro.

So he writes badly enough that nobody actually wants to read his writing?

I had a friend who wanted to be a writer. I tried so hard to read his stuff so that I could give him constructive criticism. One) He argued with me on any suggestions I had for the few things I made it through. 2) I couldn't read most of it because it was awful.

And all of his poetry was about masturbation.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 01:52

LazyMaybe: Aug 18, 2013; oouagh

Is Youtube a social media site, now?

# ? Jan 17, 2014 02:12

Mister Bates: Aug 4, 2010

IronicDongz posted:

Is Youtube a social media site, now?

Posting YouTube comments is like playing on easy mode, you just have to pick a random video and you get threadworthy material.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 03:17

into the void: Feb 13, 2011

Mister Bates posted:

Posting YouTube comments is like playing on easy mode, you just have to pick a random video and you get threadworthy material.

It's one of my favorite games. Click a seemingly innocuous video on Youtube or article on CNN, scroll right down to the comments and see how quickly it devolves into politics or racism or sexism or all of the above. Alternatively, you can try to guess how quickly it will devolve, like with a cooking article about what dishes to pick if you are on a diet and eating at a mexican restaurant. Within about three comments, someone was already ranting about illegal immigration.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 06:07

trunkwontopen: Apr 7, 2007; I am a CARTOON BEAR!

into the void posted:

It's one of my favorite games. Click a seemingly innocuous video on Youtube or article on CNN, scroll right down to the comments and see how quickly it devolves into politics or racism or sexism or all of the above. Alternatively, you can try to guess how quickly it will devolve, like with a cooking article about what dishes to pick if you are on a diet and eating at a mexican restaurant. Within about three comments, someone was already ranting about illegal immigration.

I've seen hate-fueled political and religious commentary on baby videos.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 07:48

HackensackBackpack: Aug 20, 2007; Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?

into the void posted:

It's one of my favorite games. Click a seemingly innocuous video on Youtube or article on CNN, scroll right down to the comments and see how quickly it devolves into politics or racism or sexism or all of the above. Alternatively, you can try to guess how quickly it will devolve, like with a cooking article about what dishes to pick if you are on a diet and eating at a mexican restaurant. Within about three comments, someone was already ranting about illegal immigration.

Let's try it right NOW.

33 fascinating songwriting stories, by the Mental Floss channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKi0C22S5qo

13 comments down

Sandy Quinteros posted:

Government Kills Net Neutrality, We All Pay the Price (Share this Info)

Hey look! I shared that info! Go me! :golfclap:

A little bit further down I found this,

Believe In Jesus Christ Alone posted:

People, you should receive deliverance from hell fire.
Everyone is a sinner, and our sin makes us worthy of hell fire but we can be saved by trusting in Jesus as savior.
Jesus Christ is the perfect son of God [Both human and God]
that died on the cross for our sins, [the awful things that we do] was laid in a tomb, and was resurrected.
Anyone can obtain eternal life and forgiveness of sins by faith in him only.

The video had nothing to do with Jesus, as far as I could tell, but nobody bit on this comment. No replies from fedora'd atheists or anything. Jesus: 1 Atheists: 0

All in all, I'm disappointed. I clicked on show more three times and nothing exceptionally terrible. Most people were correcting factual errors.

HackensackBackpack has a new favorite as of 07:57 on Jan 17, 2014

# ? Jan 17, 2014 07:55

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Henchman of Santa posted:

Here's something lighter: Earlier today, Deadspin (which is Gawker's sports website that mostly pokes fun at sports media), posted an amusing screenshot from this morning's SportsCenter.

Not exactly the cutting edge of humor, but worth a giggle if you occasionally laugh at juvenile things. This guy however, expects serious, impactful journalism from every Deadspin post apparently. Names not changed because it's public.

It should have ended when Deadspin replied with BUTT to the tune of 205 likes, but he keeps getting really mad as people make fun of him.

And it goes on and on and on. At some points it looks like he's talking to himself because someone he was arguing with deleted all his comments. But rest assured he keeps attempting to appear more intellectual than a bunch of people laughing at "BUTT," while ignoring the fact that he is really upset about the integrity of his comedic sports website laughing at "BUTT."

Not saying he isn't an idiot on the Internet but Gawker Media is pretty awful and I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Deadspin was the turd king on poo poo Mountain of sports journalism, just like how every other Gawker blog is.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 10:32

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Segmentation Fault posted:

Not saying he isn't an idiot on the Internet but Gawker Media is pretty awful and I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Deadspin was the turd king on poo poo Mountain of sports journalism, just like how every other Gawker blog is.

Deadspin has myriad problems, but if you think it's the worst of sports journalism, you must not be very familiar with sports journalism.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 14:41

into the void: Feb 13, 2011

Leofish posted:

All in all, I'm disappointed. I clicked on show more three times and nothing exceptionally terrible. Most people were correcting factual errors.

Oh give it time. Every once in a while there's an article that just going from boring to :stare:

in an impressively short amount of time.

In an article about the Japanese soldier who died recently:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/17/world/asia/japan-philippines-ww2-soldier-dies/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Sadly, no one got full blown racist, but there were a lot of people reassuring everyone that Japan is totally civilized now, despite not being white.
But I found some random comments.

Right from the get go, politics:

quote:

I just wish Liberal Democrats would stop loving "poor" people. Better to respect them.

What?

Japan was worse than Germany guys:

quote:

Japan was responsible for war atrocities equal to or greater than those of Germany, enslaving and slaughtering innocent civilians in several countries beginning in the late 1800's and continuing until the end of WWII.

quote:

I have to say--Germany is civilized country now.
My relatives live there and they are treated very well, so
I have got tenant from South Germany and he was my the best.

Germany: We're Not Barbarian Nazis anymore.

And then someone mentions Native Americans? Because relevance?

quote:

"Native" Americans aren't so native. They weren't first.

quote:

And they accomplished NOTHING, no written language, not even the wheel. They should be glad European;s showed up, or they probably would have been eliminated completely for the land!

I've been on this thread for too long. I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 16:32

OptimusShr: Mar 1, 2008

Why? Just loving why? :negative:

# ? Jan 17, 2014 17:23

HackensackBackpack: Aug 20, 2007; Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?

OptimusShr posted:

Why? Just loving why?

I love these. This one isn't so bad, but I've seen some of these that say things like, "If I had talked to my parents the way :siren:

KIDS TODAY :siren:

talk to theirs I WOULDN'T BE ALIVE TO SHARE THIS! ~*~share if u agree~*~"

I love those ones the best. Yes, my parents would have literally murdered me. Was this a common thing in the glorious, golden past?

# ? Jan 17, 2014 17:30

kinmik: Jul 17, 2011; Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.

into the void posted:

Japan was worse than Germany guys:

quote:
Japan was responsible for war atrocities equal to or greater than those of Germany, enslaving and slaughtering innocent civilians in several countries beginning in the late 1800's and continuing until the end of WWII.

Even as a Japanese-American, I can believe this. I acknowledge that war does hosed up poo poo to people, and that Japanese soldiers are not magically immune to the atrocities it can cause them to do.

I guess it counts, from the Steam Community forums: people who are a little less disillusioned.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 18:06

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Is he named after the Columbine shooter Eric Harris?

# ? Jan 17, 2014 18:08

Elderbean: Jun 10, 2013

Hasn't juvenile crime dropped over the years?

# ? Jan 17, 2014 18:17

kinmik: Jul 17, 2011; Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.

A-as if I would know, baka-gaijin*! I'm not acting tsundere* because I like you or anything!

*baka-gaijin means saturated nipple
*tsundere means redundant

# ? Jan 17, 2014 18:22

Eulogistics: Aug 30, 2012

kinmik posted:

Even as a Japanese-American, I can believe this. I acknowledge that war does hosed up poo poo to people, and that Japanese soldiers are not magically immune to the atrocities it can cause them to do.

I guess it counts, from the Steam Community forums: people who are a little less disillusioned.

Oh yeah, well then how come Japanese politicians are trying to erase the atrocities the troops performed in China from the history books?

*calls US Civil War the "War of Northern Aggression", writes a history book that makes slavery sound like a good deal for the slaves*

EDIT: I missed like the most relevant part of my dumb response: *erases the part about Japanese-American Internment camps during WW2*

Eulogistics has a new favorite as of 19:04 on Jan 17, 2014

# ? Jan 17, 2014 18:48

Rev. Bleech_: Oct 19, 2004; ~OKAY, WE'LL DRINK TO OUR LEGS!~

OptimusShr posted:

Why? Just loving why?

"I can't shoot up this school!!! I MIGHT GET SPANKED"

# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:01

Jummy: Jun 14, 2007; Oh, my love, my darling.

OptimusShr posted:

Why? Just loving why?

I got this one the other day too, the best part was her status right before this one was about how she was sitting waiting for her anger management class to start. Guess all that childhood spanking really worked for her.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:07

PUGGERNAUT: Nov 14, 2013; I AM INCREDIBLY BORING AND SHOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD IN THE POLITICS THREAD

OptimusShr posted:

Why? Just loving why?

I had somebody post this the day of that movie theatre shooting in Kentucky. You know, the guy who got shot for texting his daughter during the previews.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:50

SuccinctAndPunchy: Mar 29, 2013; People are supposed to get hurt by things. It's fucked up to not. It's not good for you.

kinmik posted:

This reads like a parody of weeaboos only it's totally unironic, his post didn't exactly go according to keikaku.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:54

Jedi Knight Luigi: Jul 13, 2009

I was spanked as a kid :shobon:

I tried googling cases against spanking and saw some huffpo article saying it detrimental to vocabulary retainment or something, among other cognitive capabilities. Well, I majored in English (and in fact minored in a foreign language) in college, and now I'm a copy editor, so am I the exception? For people in this thread who weren't spanked, how did you learn discipline?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:09

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

If I had ever been spanked I would totally have done whatever I was being punished for again but ten times worse to teach my parents not to spank me.

# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:28

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:50

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

FreudianSlippers posted:

If I had ever been spanked I would totally have done whatever I was being punished for again but ten times worse to teach my parents not to spank me.

Well, that's definitely the reasoning a child would use!

# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:31

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Idiots on Social Media: I blocked the FBI just in case

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