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BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

If we're posting embarrassing stuff from Guardian Cross...

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Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

BGrifter posted:

If we're posting embarrassing stuff from Guardian Cross...



:bravo:

What idiots did they hire for English localization/marketing? loving wow.

ImsaKidd
Jul 20, 2008
Haven't seen Bardbarian mentioned yet: http://appshopper.com/games/bardbarian

It's super fun. Rockin tunes, great gameplay/controls, reasonably priced IAP (the coin doubler is $.99, but they are pretty generous with currency).

axelblaze
Oct 18, 2006

Congratulations The One Concern!!!

You're addicted to Ivory!!

and...oh my...could you please...
oh my...

Grimey Drawer
I downloaded a free app of a game called Defenders & Dragons and it seems a like a decent enough castle defense game but I can see it becoming a bit greedy with the need for items you get through IAP. The reason I bring it up though is one of those IAP appears to be for a single character and that character costs $70. I can't even begin to comprehend why they'd think anyone would pay that and I'm disturbed at the concept that a bunch of people probably already have.

Sad lions
Sep 3, 2008

Is there a way to device to device transfer save files from non-icloud games?
Only an issue for a handful of mine but I can imagine this being irritating further down the line.

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.
iFunbox can handle that

Draile
May 6, 2004

forlorn llama
Stay away from BG2EE for iPad, sadly, until it is patched. It has a massive, game-breaking bug in Aerie's recruitment quest, which is pretty much the very first thing that happens after the intro dungeon. You're locked into the area (by design), except all the enemies instant-kill you (not by design). If you don't have a save game outside of the area you need to start over and redo a dungeon that's famous for everybody hating it, and then avoid Aerie's quest.

Pladdicus
Aug 13, 2010

Helical Nightmares posted:

:bravo:

What idiots did they hire for English localization/marketing? loving wow.

To be fair that is pretty goddamn fantastic.

tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe

Pladdicus posted:

To be fair that is pretty goddamn fantastic.

I don't think I get the problem here. What's funny? The art?

axelblaze
Oct 18, 2006

Congratulations The One Concern!!!

You're addicted to Ivory!!

and...oh my...could you please...
oh my...

Grimey Drawer

tuyop posted:

I don't think I get the problem here. What's funny? The art?

It's a lame "once you go back, you'll never go back" joke. Not really funny but people are also kind of overreacting.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Draile posted:

Stay away from BG2EE for iPad, sadly, until it is patched. It has a massive, game-breaking bug in Aerie's recruitment quest, which is pretty much the very first thing that happens after the intro dungeon. You're locked into the area (by design), except all the enemies instant-kill you (not by design). If you don't have a save game outside of the area you need to start over and redo a dungeon that's famous for everybody hating it, and then avoid Aerie's quest.

That's too bad. While the Mac version has lots of bug info online in other forums, I can't find anything on this for iOS. You may be the first to write this up.

Draile
May 6, 2004

forlorn llama

Ultimate Mango posted:

That's too bad. While the Mac version has lots of bug info online in other forums, I can't find anything on this for iOS. You may be the first to write this up.

There's talk about it both on the touch arcade forums and the Baldur's Gate official forums: http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=216011&page=17 and http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/29183/getting-insta-killed-in-circus-tent.

I had to restart because I had no way of dealing with a swarm of instant-death werewolves. I found a workaround on the second attempt. The werewolves are illusions, so if you skip the quest until you have Keldorn, he can true sight them away before they reach you and kill you.

ElrondHubbard
Sep 14, 2007

I recently started playing Brave Frontier. Despite it being one of a million copycat games, I really like it due to it feeling a lot like Valkyrie Profile. Most of the meta stuff is pretty gross (buying gems, facebook), but the game is enjoyable.

ElrondHubbard fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Jan 19, 2014

illBilliam
Jan 8, 2006

Draile posted:

There's talk about it both on the touch arcade forums and the Baldur's Gate official forums: http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=216011&page=17 and http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/29183/getting-insta-killed-in-circus-tent.

I had to restart because I had no way of dealing with a swarm of instant-death werewolves. I found a workaround on the second attempt. The werewolves are illusions, so if you skip the quest until you have Keldorn, he can true sight them away before they reach you and kill you.

Thanks for the heads up on this and the workaround :)

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Bottom Liner posted:

I agree. I for one had no clue what Panzer was but it looks like a super in depth Advance Wars, which is a very great thing. It looks way too complicated for me to be good at though :(

Seriously, don't let yourself get cheated out of a great game because it looks complicated. Old school Panzer General (which is what this game essentially is) was basically baby's first wargame back in the 90s. Play the campaign it ships with a time or two - it moves pretty quickly with each country being one battle, or two at most, and you can get through the entire war and see all the cool poo poo in it in maybe a week's worth of play time. Doing that will get you to a position where you can decide whether or not you want to drop more cash on the expanded campaign (which never existed for old school PG that I'm aware of) or if you decide you've gotten your money's worth out of it.

edit: seriously, I can not emphasize this enough. The whole game is wonderfully designed around maybe 5 core, key concepts and you can learn the rest as you move along. It's one of those things where you will gently caress up early on, but in doing so you'll learn what you need to do.

I really hope that they keep working on expansions etc. for this game. The Generals series was one of the major gaming highlights of the 90s, and it looks like it's translated goddamned perfectly to a touch screen format.

Cyrano4747 fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Jan 19, 2014

Zigmidge
May 12, 2002

Exsqueeze me, why the sour face? I'm here to lemon aid you. Let's juice it.
No, keep it in this thread because it's one guy posting about a great game that deserves far more attention than the typical 1.99 iOS bs this thread loves to love.

turn it up TURN ME ON
Mar 19, 2012

In the Grim Darkness of the Future, there is only war.

...and delicious ice cream.
Colossotron has absorbed me. It's a fun match-3 and is now getting quite challenging. I love it.

Smilin Joe Fission
Jan 24, 2007
Anybody know if there's a way to unlock all levels, plants, etc in Plants vs. Zombies HD or to import a save from the PC version? I played through completely via Steam a couple years ago and unlocked everything, but it looks like I might have to start over.

Also, what's up with the ridiculous load times for PvZ HD? Every time you start the game it sits at the title screen for about a minute as a carpet of grass slowly unrolls. This is on an iPad Air.

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007

Not as far as I know. I was in the same boat a while back so I just went ahead and completed it again. And again, and again. That was iPhone though, don't know if there's something else you can do with the iPad version.

Smilin Joe Fission
Jan 24, 2007

McDragon posted:

Not as far as I know. I was in the same boat a while back so I just went ahead and completed it again. And again, and again. That was iPhone though, don't know if there's something else you can do with the iPad version.

I figured at $1 I couldn't go wrong either way. There are worse games out there to play through a second time. The HD should be cool this time around too.

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



Smilin Joe Fission posted:

Anybody know if there's a way to unlock all levels, plants, etc in Plants vs. Zombies HD or to import a save from the PC version? I played through completely via Steam a couple years ago and unlocked everything, but it looks like I might have to start over.

Also, what's up with the ridiculous load times for PvZ HD? Every time you start the game it sits at the title screen for about a minute as a carpet of grass slowly unrolls. This is on an iPad Air.

Nope. You're screwed on that front. I bought the GOTY version when it came out, and then I later learned it was on Steam. I wanted to put the GOTY verison I bought on Steam, but couldn't see a way to do so. I contacted PopCap, and they told me that every version is its own seperate thing, and that if I wanted to take advantage of all the Steam features of the game, I'd have to buy it again on Steam, and start all over.

Sad lions
Sep 3, 2008

1st AD posted:

iFunbox can handle that

Thanks for this. Worked like a charm.

So I've taken the plunge and bought Baldur's Gate 2 and holy hell is the thing formidable for a newcomer (more the interface than anything else) is there a decent beginner's guide out there for this?
Also, what should I watch out for so I don't get stuck into that instakill werewolf nonsense?

Drowning Rabbit
Oct 28, 2003

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sad lions posted:

Thanks for this. Worked like a charm.

So I've taken the plunge and bought Baldur's Gate 2 and holy hell is the thing formidable for a newcomer (more the interface than anything else) is there a decent beginner's guide out there for this?
Also, what should I watch out for so I don't get stuck into that instakill werewolf nonsense?

There is a circus right outside the dungeon that you start in. Avoid the damned thing like the plague.

One note, the chick "Aerie" that you can recruit, is also one of the most powerful characters you can get in the game.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

KGBAgent185 posted:

One note, the chick "Aerie" that you can recruit, is also one of the most powerful characters you can get in the game.

And one of the most annoying.

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Also one with the most :stonk: writing if really have to dig into her story.


"Yeah we'll just keep this in the backpack along with the other loot"

Synthbuttrange fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Jan 20, 2014

King of Gulps
Sep 4, 2003

Just started Hoplite this weekend, but Agility is super broken, right? Like I was just jumping around like a kinged checker killing 75% of each room until I reached level 27. I'm pretty sure the skulls should reset after your (one) extra action, rather than constantly retriggering Agility as long as you keep making consecutive kills.

ihatepants
Nov 5, 2011

Let the burning of pants commence. These things drive me nuts.



Cross posting from the jailbreak thread.

There's a new jailbreak tweak on the modmyi repo called Controllers For All ($1.99) that enables use of a PS3 controller with the built in iOS7 controller API. Lots of games already have controller support and now you don't need to spend $100 on the crappy MFi controllers.

Toucharcade forum list of iOS7 controller supported games
Another (more) updated list of compatible games
Reddit's list of compatible games

ihatepants fucked around with this message at 09:25 on Jan 20, 2014

anticake
Nov 5, 2004

Biscuit Hider

SynthOrange posted:

Also one with the most :stonk: writing if really have to dig into her story.

"Yeah we'll just keep this in the backpack along with the other loot"


Don't all the female love interests have an ending where they had a kid with the player? Is the baby only an inventory item for Aerie?

edit: The spoilered timg broke completely when I quoted it removed it now, sorry if that mattered to anyone.

anticake fucked around with this message at 08:08 on Jan 20, 2014

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

I guess someone hasn't played Ultima 7 where you can keep a baby as an inventory item

Parkingtigers
Feb 23, 2008
TARGET CONSUMER
LOVES EVERY FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. EVER.
Hey, thanks for enduring my spergfests about Panzer Corps. I know that for people even slightly interested in strategy games, war stories get eaten up. I also know that for people with no interest in the subject matter, it can mean enduring long boring posts from insufferable neckbeards like me. I'll admit to wanting to sway at least some of you into buying the game, or at least considering buying it, because giving them more money means they continue to supply me with quality entertainment. At a $20 price tag, that needs more pursuading than the usual iOS fare.

I am keen to go at it again. I counted, and the full Grand Campaign is up to 110 battles in length, if you get some of the optional battles for making a decisive victory at key moments. I failed at battle 14 due to culmulative attrition, but I did learn some valuable lessons along the way, particularly the need to be more frugal on how I spend my prestige points. I'm certain I'll go much further next time.

Someone joked about making it into a full on Let's Play thread. I've spent most of the last couple of days thinking about that, and with my life being so desperately empty right at this moment in time I kind of need a project. If I were to do a full blow by blow account of each battle, interspersed with actual archive photographs of each battle, and full historical background to the conflicts, with outrageously pornographic images of all the tanks and aircraft... would anyone actually be interested in reading such a thing?

I mean, if I did this, I'd end up going Full Sperglord. While I know it's never good to go Full Sperglord, the idea of doing a Let's Play that is equal parts history lesson, tank porn and battle report does give me a nerdboner. I don't tend to do things by half-measures, so it's gold-plated or nothing, and that means a LONG war. I'd let anyone interested call dibs on a unit to cheer on/represent them in the campaign, if that sways you.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
You should.

Also, Agility in Hoplite isn't broken, it's a trap that tempts you into thinking you can take the whole level and that the next one won't be too hard even though you're on 2 HP.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*
Agreed - make a lets play.
Panzer Corp is amazing, I ended up buying all he IAP too mainly coz I wanted to do the Afrikaans Campaign and I don't regret it. To anyone like the poster from a page or so back who said it looks too complex it's not. It's actually pretty simple but incredibly deep.

Virigoth
Apr 28, 2009

Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......



I would read your lets play thread.

Parkingtigers
Feb 23, 2008
TARGET CONSUMER
LOVES EVERY FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. EVER.
Well ok then, looks like I'd better get preparing. I'll start Fall Weiss as soon as I have my templates sorted out.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.
I understand original minecraft pocket edition was poo poo and not worth bothering with, but they've been steadily updating it - is it worth getting now? I've never played minecraft, only watched my nephew, and am doing some travelling soon and would like something new to play. I generally hate any obviously dumbed down iOS versions of things, eg iPad Civ was just terrible. If not I may just replay XCOM on iron mode or something. Also any news on when FTL is coming out on iOS?

roboshit
Apr 4, 2009

Butterfly Valley posted:

I understand original minecraft pocket edition was poo poo and not worth bothering with, but they've been steadily updating it - is it worth getting now? I've never played minecraft, only watched my nephew, and am doing some travelling soon and would like something new to play. I generally hate any obviously dumbed down iOS versions of things, eg iPad Civ was just terrible. If not I may just replay XCOM on iron mode or something. Also any news on when FTL is coming out on iOS?

It's been updated with a lot of stuff but it still suffers from the same lovely controls that plague all first person iOS games. I have it on my iPad and it's not easy to click on blocks to destroy them.

Parkingtigers
Feb 23, 2008
TARGET CONSUMER
LOVES EVERY FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. EVER.
MCPE is still terrible. They actually have a new guy working on it (only took them 2 years to hire a full-timer), and he does seem to be working hard to make it be less poo poo, but it has a long way to go yet. It's still tiny, TINY worlds with no cave systems etc. It needs at least another 6 months/year before it will be in a state worth recommending.

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Butterfly Valley posted:

I understand original minecraft pocket edition was poo poo and not worth bothering with, but they've been steadily updating it - is it worth getting now? I've never played minecraft, only watched my nephew, and am doing some travelling soon and would like something new to play. I generally hate any obviously dumbed down iOS versions of things, eg iPad Civ was just terrible. If not I may just replay XCOM on iron mode or something. Also any news on when FTL is coming out on iOS?

Well I hadn't looked into FTL in over a year and when I did check they said no to any mobile version, recent news points to "early - mid 2014" and "iPad" I basically expect March or April, but wouldn't be surprised if that actually falls behind and that's just the release date for the new content.

goferchan
Feb 8, 2004

It's 2006. I am taking 276 yeti furs from the goodies hoard.
Starborn Anarkist is great -- it plays like Asteroids, sort of-- as you blow up enemies you'll get money, complete achievements, and find random drops. All of these things unlock new parts for your ship (and there are many, including crazy poo poo like a giant wrecking ball on a chain) which you get to build from scratch on a grid-based layout. I'm having a lot of fun experimenting with weirdo ship designs and the unlock progression is really well-balanced; there's always something cool right around the next corner. Just be patient at the beginning because it takes a while to figure out how to build a ship that'll stay alive longer than 30 seconds!

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Bottom Liner
Feb 15, 2006


a specific vein of lasagna

Butterfly Valley posted:

I understand original minecraft pocket edition was poo poo and not worth bothering with, but they've been steadily updating it - is it worth getting now? I've never played minecraft, only watched my nephew, and am doing some travelling soon and would like something new to play. I generally hate any obviously dumbed down iOS versions of things, eg iPad Civ was just terrible. If not I may just replay XCOM on iron mode or something. Also any news on when FTL is coming out on iOS?

Get Survivalcraft instead. It's great.

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