Sochi 2014 Megathread 1: Grovergrad - OoOo* - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Sochi 2014 Megathread 1: Grovergrad - OoOo*

A Pale Horse: Jul 29, 2007

abigserve posted:

Can someone sum up for the good of the thread what the gently caress is wrong with russia because it seems like things over there are just messed up on basically every level, from raging alcoholism to no road rules to saints row style insurance fraud

This may sound reductive but its basically cronyism and kleptocracy. In order to get anything done in Russia you must know the right people and even if you know the right people you have to accept that they're going to rob you blind for personal gain. There's no checks on corruption as long as you're on the "right" side of the political leaders who are also beholden to the oligarchs. Its unrestrained capitalism without any real oversight. The surprising thing to me is that this makes Putin a laughingstock internationally and he has to know that and I would have thought he'd make more of an effort for that not to happen. Internally the games will be a success regardless of reality because there's no such thing as a free press in Russia, but to the world its already a farce with the potential for serious tragedy, I would have thought he'd care, but I guess not. Sorry for the unfunny serious post.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 12:55

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 16:32

curious: Mar 14, 2007; "Hey, I got one of my paperwork guys complaining about DEMON PILES."

Crewmine posted:

It's an expensive holiday resort for a reason. A big complaint of the residents is that the olympic construction has ruined large areas of the city and undermined shitloads of houses

Yeah, have a read about their interactions with the local branch of the Russian Geographical Society.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 12:55

Idiootti: Apr 11, 2012

al-azad posted:

So I swung the camera around to check out the view and...

Is he a pedophile or a member of Occupy Pedophilia wondering if they're lesbians? Or maybe he's just a citizen concerned that those two young ladies are 6 inches away from a speeding vehicle and don't give a poo poo. Sochi!

Or he is probably just looking at the google car or whatever.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 12:56

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

WEEDLORDBONERHEGEL posted:

starting in 92, everything went to hell. things suck there
edit-they sucked before, but for different reasons
http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/article/drunken-nation-russia%E2%80%99s-depopulation-bomb

mass privatization may be bad for you
http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(09)60005-2/fulltext

so russia is basically turning into the land of wind and ghosts.

i personally look forward to our inevitable war with whatever neo-soviet necromancy cult seizes power in the future.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 12:56

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Yivgev posted:

so russia is basically turning into the land of wind and ghosts.

i personally look forward to our inevitable war with whatever neo-soviet necromancy cult seizes power in the future.

It's been a land of ghosts for decades - only recently did independent Russia claw its way back to the level of GDP/capita it enjoyed in the 80s. There's been more than a lost generation, and even now it's questionable how much of the regained wealth has trickled down to the masses (hint: not much).

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:00

The Kins: Oct 2, 2004

A Pale Horse posted:

Sorry for the unfunny serious post.

If there's any time for Post-Soviet Russian History 101, it's probably now.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:00

Antaris: Feb 18, 2011

Yivgev posted:

so russia is basically turning into the land of wind and ghosts.

i personally look forward to our inevitable war with whatever neo-soviet necromancy cult seizes power in the future.

If Stalin didn't go to war after WWII whatever cult seizes power won't do it either. Even utter Stalin-level crazies understand MAD. Now internal war against minorities? Yeah, that's on ahead of schedule (unlike the Olympics).

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:04

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

It's a city of Groverhauses. Grovergrad.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:06

Pyromancer: Apr 29, 2011; This man must look upon the fire, smell of it, warm his hands by it, stare into its heart

Yivgev posted:

so russia is basically turning into the land of wind and ghosts.

i personally look forward to our inevitable war with whatever neo-soviet necromancy cult seizes power in the future.

Google says zombie Lenin is definitely a thing

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:07

The Kins: Oct 2, 2004

Shadeoses posted:

It's a city of Groverhauses. Grovergrad.

I was going to reply to this with whatever Grover's name on the Russian version of Sesame Street was.

Turns out it's apparently Grover.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:16

Pump it up! Do it!: Oct 3, 2012

Yivgev posted:

so russia is basically turning into the land of wind and ghosts.

i personally look forward to our inevitable war with whatever neo-soviet necromancy cult seizes power in the future.

Don't worry about a war with Russia, if that would happen the west can just bribe the Generals to stage a military revolt. One thing I am a bit worried about is that some Russian military officer will just decide to sell a couple of nukes, seeing how corrupt Russia is I'm surprised that it hasn't happened already.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:19

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

Shadeoses posted:

It's a city of Groverhauses. Grovergrad.

This makes me smile.

Lord Tywin posted:

Don't worry about a war with Russia, if that would happen the west can just bribe the Generals to stage a military revolt. One thing I am a bit worried about is that some Russian military officer will just decide to sell a couple of nukes, seeing how corrupt Russia is I'm surprised that it hasn't happened already.

The Council on Foreign Relations says there are no confirmed cases of missing Soviet nuclear weapons, but there is "... ample evidence of a significant black market in nuclear materials." Sleep tight.

Everyone should grab an old copy of Expanded Universe by Robert Heinlein and read his essays about traveling in the Soviet Union. Heinlein was actually there when Gary Powers was shot down. It's shocking how well these photographs and stories match up with the experiences Heinlein and his wife had there over fifty years ago.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:31

Noni: Jul 8, 2003; ASK ME ABOUT DEFRAUDING GOONS WITH HOT DOGS AND HOW I BANNED EPIC HAMCAT

Here's a Sochi toilet only for professional shitters.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 13:37

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

JG Ballard's Winter Olympics

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:05

Lysdexique: Sep 12, 2010; Let me give you some advice, little buddy.

Noni posted:

Here's a Sochi toilet only for professional shitters.

Wouldn't want to make it too easy for our athletes.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:08

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

al-azad posted:

So I swung the camera around to check out the view and...

Is he a pedophile or a member of Occupy Pedophilia wondering if they're lesbians? Or maybe he's just a citizen concerned that those two young ladies are 6 inches away from a speeding vehicle and don't give a poo poo. Sochi!

Uh huh. Looking at sexually mature people who may have not reached the age of majority makes you a total pedophile (and no I'm not suggesting he's and ephebophile or whatever it is that redditors use as an excuse for having a fetish for 14 year olds).

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:14

rcman50166: Mar 23, 2010; by XyloJW

because thats totally what this thread is about and everyone benefited from reading that, jesus

:can:

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:34

bamzilla: Jan 13, 2005; All butt since 2012.

Excuse me this thread is about having 20 toilets in one room and dogs skiing.

:ussr:

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:37

Lysdexique: Sep 12, 2010; Let me give you some advice, little buddy.

Germstore posted:

Uh huh. Looking at sexually mature people who may have not reached the age of majority makes you a total pedophile (and no I'm not suggesting he's and ephebophile or whatever it is that redditors use as an excuse for having a fetish for 14 year olds).

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:37

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

al-azad posted:

So I swung the camera around to check out the view and...

Is he a pedophile or a member of Occupy Pedophilia wondering if they're lesbians? Or maybe he's just a citizen concerned that those two young ladies are 6 inches away from a speeding vehicle and don't give a poo poo. Sochi!

He's a member of Putin's elite homo kill squad, marking these women down for immediate transport to the gulag

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:38

Lysdexique: Sep 12, 2010; Let me give you some advice, little buddy.

bamzilla posted:

Excuse me this thread is about having 20 toilets in one room and dogs skiing.

That's for the making GBS threads competition after the athletes drink the tap water.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:42

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

ZombieReagan posted:

look at bright side comrade, this toilet has walls and toilet paper dispenser, for elites only!

The toilet scrub doesn't have a handle.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:52

Entropic: Feb 21, 2007; patriarchy sucks

Every image of bad construction from every e-mail forward from the last 20 years now gets reattributed as a Sochi picture. :toot:

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:54

.lnk to the past: May 3, 2005; psoting while drunk

steinrokkan posted:

"Guys, I hit the motherload! We'll be able to barter this for as much dogfood as we god drat will!"

is dogfood in sochi food for dogs or made of dogs?

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:57

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

.lnk to the past posted:

is dogfood in sochi food for dogs or made of dogs?

it is for workers

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:58

Crewmine: Apr 26, 2012

.lnk to the past posted:

is dogfood in sochi food for dogs or made of dogs?

yes

vvvv wrecked

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:58

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

.lnk to the past posted:

is dogfood in sochi food for dogs or made of dogs?

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:58

.lnk to the past: May 3, 2005; psoting while drunk

A Buttery Pastry posted:

it is for workers

or perhaps made of the workers

# ? Feb 6, 2014 14:59

Mimetastic: Nov 10, 2009

leaked picture of plans for the opening ceremony

Mimetastic fucked around with this message at 15:03 on Feb 6, 2014

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:01

hopterque: Mar 9, 2007; sup

Germstore posted:

Uh huh. Looking at sexually mature people who may have not reached the age of majority makes you a total pedophile (and no I'm not suggesting he's and ephebophile or whatever it is that redditors use as an excuse for having a fetish for 14 year olds).

Pedo scum spotted.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:01

weirdly chilly pussy: Oct 6, 2007

https://twitter.com/espnWD/status/431274562006028288/photo/1

Is this to prevent "electric showers" or what?

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:02

.lnk to the past: May 3, 2005; psoting while drunk

hopterque posted:

Pedo scum spotted.

INTERNET DETECTIVE HERE! Look out! :siren:

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:02

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Armco posted:

https://twitter.com/espnWD/status/431274562006028288/photo/1

Is this to prevent "electric showers" or what?

I guess they figured the cold water line is grounded so why not- which is incredibly dumb on its own, but that's the hot water line.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:05

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

fatherboxx posted:

the codes and norms are actually alright, very strict and clear, it is just
1) people who were planning the buildings hosed up in a rush ("oh no, I misclicked something in AutoCAD but the deadline was a week ago so welp")
2) the organisations approving the constuction design were either bribed up or threatened ("look, Petr Alekseevich, the deadline is yesterday, can we just stamp the poo poo these engineers are pros honestly"), and, finally,
3) on the construction site everyone blindly follows the designs: the Tajikistan workers can't read them, the foreman drunk himself to death and the chief engineer is too busy playing World of Tanks or filling reports, so you have escheresque buildings as the result.

i am a legal counsel in a Russian civil engineering company, not connected to Sochi, sadly, but I'll be sure to hit my buddies in the construction that worked there for some awesome horror stories

I think it's mostly 2 and 3, with a dash of 1. Though I think that the designers probably didn't do much detailing, dimensioning, or just plain left things out. The contractor gets crappy plans and has no time, money, or desire for RFIs? This is what you get.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:05

The Taint Reaper: Sep 4, 2012; by Shine

At this point I think any random bumfuck nation in North Africa could handle the Olympics better. Hell they could even provide lions for gladiator matches.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:07

Motley: Nov 1, 2013

First the hotel and now Sean White pulls out of the slopestyle because apparently the course is some snowboarder death machine from hell...I know what event I'll be watching.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:11

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

fatherboxx posted:

the codes and norms are actually alright, very strict and clear, it is just
1) people who were planning the buildings hosed up in a rush ("oh no, I misclicked something in AutoCAD but the deadline was a week ago so welp")
2) the organisations approving the constuction design were either bribed up or threatened ("look, Petr Alekseevich, the deadline is yesterday, can we just stamp the poo poo these engineers are pros honestly"), and, finally,
3) on the construction site everyone blindly follows the designs: the Tajikistan workers can't read them, the foreman drunk himself to death and the chief engineer is too busy playing World of Tanks or filling reports, so you have escheresque buildings as the result.

i am a legal counsel in a Russian civil engineering company, not connected to Sochi, sadly, but I'll be sure to hit my buddies in the construction that worked there for some awesome horror stories

I am so looking forward to those stories.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:14

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

The Taint Reaper posted:

At this point I think any random bumfuck nation in North Africa could handle the Olympics better. Hell they could even provide lions for gladiator matches.

VUVUVELLA

BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:14

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

ZombieReagan posted:

Let's hold Winter Olympics in subtropical resort city, do not worry Russia is very modern country!

*fails to get water to not be contaminated in hotels, ceilings are made of tarps, stray dogs roam everywhere*

$51 billion US Dollars

Lets be honest here, a lot of that $51 billion dollars went into Putin's secret piggy bank, and that hasn't even taken into account his oligarch friends doing the same.

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:15

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 16:32

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

so this is probably the cheapest olympics cool

# ? Feb 6, 2014 15:17

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Sochi 2014 Megathread 1: Grovergrad - OoOo*

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