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Croc Monster posted:How about we start our own Bennydome? Only requirement is that the story start with your sentence above. I regret spending my lunch break on this already. ======== Benny the Snake was sixteen when they took him to see the Oracle. The imposing marble facade towered over him as Benny shuffled up the stairs to the front door. Just inside, a forest of columns, impossibly tall, held up a ceiling seemingly as distant as the sky itself. Each column was covered in intricate carvings, detailing the life and accomplishments of all those who had gone before. Benny, pausing to catch his breath, ran a hand over the name at the base of one pillar. He barely noticed the smudge of cheeto dust he left behind, immersed as he was in his awe and fear. How could this have happened to me?, he wondered. It had seemed like a joke, at the time-- nothing in his academic career had indicated that he'd be destined for greatness. When his high school class had entered their names into the oracular lottery, he had never expected to be one of the ones chosen; and yet, the lottery was never wrong. His name had been called. His peers wept in frustration even as his parents rejoiced at the realization that their son was destined for more than they had ever dreamed he would be capable of. Suddenly his inability to function as a normal human being was transfigured, from a source of shame to a source of pride. "Surely", they said, "if the Oracle has deemed him worthy, the depths of his ability must be yet unplumbed! He will join the ranks of the Oracular Chosen, and his name will go down in history." It was how the world worked, they said, and they wept in relief. That had been a month ago. Now Benny walked, alone, through the hall of the Oracle, where the deeds of those chosen were immortalized as an inspiration to all who came after. Benny still had trouble believing that he could amount to anything, but that fear was tempered with trust-- for the Oracle was a pillar of their very society, and she had never failed to call any but those with the most potential to her. With that thought in mind, Benny strode through the doorway to the inner chamber. As his eyes adjusted to the comparative darkness of the Oracle's chamber, he could see the outline of the Throne of the Oracle in the middle of the room. He slowly edged towards it, wondering if he should call out to her, or if that would be considered rude. As he got closer, he realized that there was nobody in the chair-- just a globe-like object on the seat, and a cardboard sign hanging from the back. Hands shaking, he reached for the sign. "Out to Lunch, will return at:" Benny could see the picture of a clock on the sign, but there didn't appear to be any hands on it. Replacing the sign, he looked down and saw an "8" inscribed in a white circle on the globe. Nervously, he looked around, wondering how long he should wait. He decided to err on the side of caution, and sat back against one wall of the room, legs drawn to his chest. "The Oracle is never wrong", he said to himself, and waited. 30 minutes later, he stood, cursed, and walked back to the chair. Reaching down, he picked up the orb, and stared deeply into it, wondering as he did if this was the source of the Oracle's power. As he concentrated, he could begin to see the shape of letters taking form in the misty depths of the orb... "Outlook not so good." The orb dropped back to the seat from nerveless fingers. Benny stared at it, desperately willing it to be wrong, but the words remained, glaring back accusatorially at him. "No, this...this can't be right! There's been some mistake!" The words floated there, unchanged, until Benny was finally able to rip his gaze from them, running from the room. The sound of his rapid footfalls echoed back at him as he ran through the gallery of pillars, amplified and loud, pounding into Benny's ears until it seemed they were louder than the frantic beating of his own heart. As tore through the entrance, he heard a voice on the air, whispering only to him. The voice was kind and melodic, sweet like the first taste of summer strawberries and warm like a cup of cocoa on a cold winter's day, ineffably there in a way that would cause all other sounds to fall grey and lifeless in comparison for the rest of Benny's life. It whispered... "Oh well, even I make mistakes sometimes."
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Feb 10, 2014 22:41
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DamnitGannet posted:So is Benny the Snake a joke account or what because it's been a whole loving year and absolutely nothing has changed. Benny is a conservative false flag agent
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Feb 10, 2014 22:42
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Ursine Asylum posted:I regret spending my lunch break on this already. No no no! It was a wonderful story. Time time well spent  Thanks for an awesome contribution to The Harrowing Tales of Benny the Snake™
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Feb 10, 2014 23:39
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I've come up with a disturbing realization. Mid 20's, fat, socially inept and hilariously awkward. Can't hold even the simplest menial job and loses them in comical ways. Fancies themselves a "writer", has a degree in it, yet never works on a major work, and any examples of work they produce are atrocious. Serial procrastinator. Hates their family but is completely financially reliant on them. Enormous sense of entitlement with absolutely no basis in reality.  Benny. Write down your life, create 3 "Friends" which are nothing but poorly written carbon copies of yourself all done in the same voice and HBO will make you a millionaire. Get to it.
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Feb 11, 2014 00:22
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Also get naked 
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Feb 11, 2014 02:21
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Benny! What have we told you about spending money on stupid poo poo? 
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Feb 11, 2014 05:57
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I was trying to think of what Benny's, "A year later I murdered my entire family in cold blood" ending reminded me of, and I remember now. You ever write a story when you were like 7 or 8 and end it with, "then they all woke up, it turned out to be a dream all along, the end"? That's what it reminds me of.
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Feb 11, 2014 09:46
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Advertiser posted:To really appreciate high standard of writing put forward by everyone else in the Thunderdome read the beautiful story that sits directly below Benny's. I dunno; I wept blood when I read Benny's.
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Feb 11, 2014 11:01
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ThatCguy posted:I've come up with a disturbing realization. Only way this could work is if Benny were trans
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Feb 11, 2014 13:11
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Starter Wiggin posted:I was trying to think of what Benny's, "A year later I murdered my entire family in cold blood" ending reminded me of, and I remember now. It reminded me of when you were a kid and your parents grounded you for something and you'd be in your room crying and wishing hateful poo poo on them. "Take away my comic books...what if I went to an oracle with silver eyes and then slaughtered you all in cold blood a year later? You'd be sorry then..."
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Feb 11, 2014 13:57
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Benny should write what he knows. Crashing shopping carts into cars.
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Feb 11, 2014 14:51
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Sotar posted:Benny should write what he knows. Crashing shopping carts into cars. Imagine Bruce Wayne if his parents were killed in a fatal shopping accident by the Kart Krasher.
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Feb 11, 2014 15:14
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Starter Wiggin posted:I was trying to think of what Benny's, "A year later I murdered my entire family in cold blood" ending reminded me of, and I remember now. I didn't want to pile on with everyone else, but yes, this is exactly how I ended every essay in 2nd grade. My grammar was better though, I had read half of the Harry Potter series and some Hitchhiker's Guide, and I liked to feel smart.
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Feb 11, 2014 15:35
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Goldmine this pissing well.
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Feb 11, 2014 17:02
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Starter Wiggin posted:I was trying to think of what Benny's, "A year later I murdered my entire family in cold blood" ending reminded me of, and I remember now. I was having the same problem and I realized why: Benny's "original" story is just a slightly modified retelling of the legend of Hercules/Heracles.
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Feb 11, 2014 17:07
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Hey since benny's story was poo poo can you guys critique my story from this week? Thanks!
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Feb 11, 2014 17:14
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Benny didn't lose the Thunderdome. He wasn't even a dishonorable mention. Please enter this week Benny!
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Feb 11, 2014 17:38
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nerve posted:Benny didn't lose the Thunderdome. He wasn't even a dishonorable mention. ....what the gently caress?
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Feb 11, 2014 17:41
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:....what the gently caress? The one that was named worst of the bunch was, believe it or not, far worse than Benny's. It's really awful. And the runner up was pretty bad too. And sort of violated the whole theme they had going. Congrats, Benny! You are already a better writer than two other goons! Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Feb 11, 2014 |
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Feb 11, 2014 18:49
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Robot_Rumpus posted:The one that was named worst of the bunch was, believe it or not, far worse than Benny's. It's really awful. And the runner up was pretty bad too. And sort of violated the whole theme they had going. Benny didn't even phase anyone this week, since he managed not to include a piss guitar, pedophilia, poo poo geysers, or video game fanfic. Come back, Benny! Thunderdome is still rooting for you!
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Feb 11, 2014 19:31
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Sitting Here posted:Benny didn't even phase anyone this week, since he managed not to include a piss guitar, pedophilia, poo poo geysers, or video game fanfic. Honestly I'm tempted at trying my hand at Thunderdome this week, and I haven't written anything since I graduated from high school 15 years ago.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:34
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Iron Crowned posted:Honestly I'm tempted at trying my hand at Thunderdome this week, and I haven't written anything since I graduated from high school 15 years ago. You couldn't do much worse than the two that lost. One had several sentences that stopped mid thought, a dump truck full of grammatical mistake and a terrible plot that didn't even really start until the end. Speaking of the end, the story just stops in a VERY abrupt fashion. In comparison, Benny's piece hashed out an idea from start to end (even with a really really really bad ending). It was god awful, but Benny is better than quite a few people in that thread.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:42
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Good job, Benny the Snake.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:47
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Just saw this thread, was going to comment, looked at the last page number wow
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Feb 11, 2014 19:52
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Iron Crowned posted:Honestly I'm tempted at trying my hand at Thunderdome this week, and I haven't written anything since I graduated from high school 15 years ago. This would a great week for any interested E/N superstars and/or readers, actually, since we are writing about our IRL experiences. Benny, you better do this week since this thread is basically already your rough draft!
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Feb 11, 2014 19:55
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Ignoarints posted:Just saw this thread, was going to comment, looked at the last page number Your comment is still relevant because literally nothing changed in the last year.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:56
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Iron Crowned posted:Honestly I'm tempted at trying my hand at Thunderdome this week, and I haven't written anything since I graduated from high school 15 years ago. I would like to thank this thread for introducing me to Thunderdome. I haven't written outside of work in too long.
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Feb 11, 2014 20:07
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Sitting Here posted:This would a great week for any interested E/N superstars and/or readers, actually, since we are writing about our IRL experiences. I hope he decides to participate again. His last story wasn't good by any stretch, but it was no where near the worst.
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Feb 11, 2014 20:10
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Dex posted:Your comment is still relevant because literally nothing changed in the last year. Come now Benny has made a lot of steps like um... well... he applied for some jobs and apparently interviewed well but was passed over because of reasons like for the last 30 jobs he applied for! He also no longer reads comic books, he reads "graphic novels"
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Feb 11, 2014 20:18
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Sotar posted:"graphic novels" Sounds like what Hank Hill would call it if he found out about erotica.
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Feb 11, 2014 21:24
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New Thunderdrome prompt: Tell me a story about your life. It can be poignant, it can be hilarious, it can be sad, whatever you like. What it can't be is self-deprecating or self-aggrandizing (unless you want to lose). Omg Benny you know you want to enter.
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Feb 11, 2014 22:53
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Ms. Happiness posted:New Thunderdrome prompt: He should write about the thought process behind believing it is better to tell your boss you were too drunk and hung over to come to work, instead of just taking the day off or calling in sick.
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Feb 11, 2014 23:04
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As this week's TD bossjudge, I'd like to personally invite Benny back because I am desperate to know what life event you'd decide to write about
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Feb 12, 2014 01:22
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I'm honestly curious how the meds and therapy are going. There has to be something going on with his executive functioning. If you show up sober, wearing khakis, a collared shirt and deodorant, and are willing to work evenings and weekends, a big box place will snap you right up. They don't give a poo poo about your resume, they just want to know you'll show up on time and not steal anything. Hell, if you live near a Costco and get that, you can actually make pretty decent money and benefits- not luxury living, but if you have a low cost of living, certainly far from bad. Let's face it, entry-level retail isn't mentally taxing. Seriously, one of the better overnight stock dudes I worked with was functionally illiterate. He was older than the hills and when he got hired, his department head only asked him if he could lift 50 pounds and if he had a mailing address. He worked breaking down pallets and putting up hard goods, so he didn't have to read dates; he got by by matching the items he was stocking with what was already on the shelf. He was always on time and worked like a machine.
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Feb 12, 2014 04:26
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Grin and Tonic posted:they say less is more so Benny wrote about 600 words to submit in thunderdome where all the other posters' submissions topped 1000 words easily and this is the result lol Good flash fiction can be as short as 100 words. It can be difficult to do, though. Super short stories don't leave you any room to bullshit. Note: I am defending super short flash fiction not this story. With effort and good feedback, anyone can become a better writer.
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Feb 12, 2014 04:46
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Sunshine89 posted:...one of the better overnight stock dudes I worked with was functionally illiterate...He worked breaking down pallets... Remember, this is Benny. What would happen to him would be some sort of Keystone Kops routine accompanied by Yakkety Sax. He'd step on a board, like a rake in a cartoon, which would spring up and smack him in the face. He'd recoil backwards into a pallet of ping-pong balls, which would spill on the floor and trip him up. This would send him careening into a stack of paint cans, which would spill all over him. Flailing about, he'd rip open a bag of craft feathers, which would flutter down and stick to the paint in which he was splattered. Terrified, he would run out of the warehouse and onto the sales floor, covered in paint and feathers, bawking for all the world like some mad painted chicken. No...I don't think you've thought this through.
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Feb 12, 2014 04:49
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Xenocides posted:I would like to thank this thread for introducing me to Thunderdome. I haven't written outside of work in too long. I would like to thank Thunderdome for introducing me to this thread.
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Feb 12, 2014 05:17
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violetdragon posted:Good flash fiction can be as short as 100 words. It can be difficult to do, though. Super short stories don't leave you any room to bullshit. Note: I am defending super short flash fiction not this story. Donald Barthelme is a great example of a master short story writer who used very few words.
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Feb 12, 2014 05:50
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for sale: baby shoes, never worn
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Feb 12, 2014 05:54
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How much?
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Feb 12, 2014 05:55
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