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Avulsion
Feb 12, 2006
I never knew what hit me
Agent X is Deadpool's crazy clone.

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theflyingorc
Jun 28, 2008

ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS
Young Orc

404GoonNotFound posted:

"If your almighty deity gives you a single order, and that's not to build a giant temple not dedicated to him, and then you do that anyway, CONGRATULATIONS! You have the Wisdom of Solomon!"
My old testament is pretty rusty, but I don't think that's how the story goes.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Wait, I just realized. Agent X is the mythical Asian superhero at Marvel who can't be tied back to an obvious Asian stereotype. I mean maybe if you want to rag on his Matrix-inspired wardrobe (all the rage in 2002), but that was hardly an Asians-only thing.

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


He's basically a ninja though. And his origin has him as a yakuza member with HONOR and a katana.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Oh... yeah... guess I got a little overeager there.

Vince MechMahon
Jan 1, 2008



Rhyno posted:

Start mouthing off a bunch. That usually works for me.

Specifically go tell a bunch of nerds that DBZ is a bad show. That worked for me last time.

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


mind the walrus posted:

Oh... yeah... guess I got a little overeager there.

Also he was a sumo for a bit.

Action Tortoise
Feb 18, 2012

A wolf howls.
I know how he feels.

mind the walrus posted:

Unless you're 85 you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Besides it's not like they go around advertising that fact a hell of a lot.

These days the first thing most people associate Shazam with is that app that helps them identify a song.

Soonmot
Dec 19, 2002

Entrapta fucking loves robots




Grimey Drawer

VagueRant posted:

Man, it took me five minutes of googling to figure out that Agent X was not Fantomex and that the dude in the panels was neither of them.

Behold the best Taskmaster has ever looked!

Elfface
Nov 14, 2010

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH
And sometimes, people just decide you need red text... Seriously, I had Iron Jameson less than a day...

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Soonmot posted:

Behold the best Taskmaster has ever looked!

I'm still convinced that if Taskmaster had managed to retain that look he'd be more high profile today.

Elfface posted:

And sometimes, people just decide you need red text... Seriously, I had Iron Jameson less than a day...

Am I more likable than I think then? No, that can't be right. I'm a real rear end in a top hat about the stupidest poo poo most of the time.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Soonmot posted:

Behold the best Taskmaster has ever looked!
He looked like a pizza after pissing off Sue Richards.
Civil War #7

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

"C'mon lady, he's the leader of The Fantastic Four, I didn't think a gun would actually hurt him! :gonk:"

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin

Jerusalem posted:

"C'mon lady, he's the leader of The Fantastic Four, I didn't think a gun would actually hurt him! :gonk:"

"Yeah, holy poo poo isn't he supposed to be bulletproof or something, how do you guys take on Doctor Doom all the time?!"

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I know that Ultimate Reed is rubbery too, and has deflected lead bullets at least once. What the hell kind of bullets is Taskmaster using there? Ultra-barbed flechettes?

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Oh my God, please let the entire story be Iron Jonah wandering around Manhattan, getting increasingly sweaty and uncomfortable, completely unable to find Spider-Man because Peter Parker is too busy getting laid at home :allears:

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

If the Marvel universe ever comes to an end, Iron Jonah should be the last panel.

Elfface
Nov 14, 2010

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Jerusalem posted:

Oh my God, please let the entire story be Iron Jonah wandering around Manhattan, getting increasingly sweaty and uncomfortable, completely unable to find Spider-Man because Peter Parker is too busy getting laid at home :allears:

Either that or Parker finds out...

"J Jonah Jameson is in Iron Man's armour and is calling me out?"
"That's right!"
"Does he... have hostages? Or a nefarious plan?"
"No... no, he's just walking around, yelling."
"Meh."

BetterToRuleInHell
Jul 2, 2007

Touch my mask top
Get the chop chop

Metal Loaf posted:

If the Marvel universe ever comes to an end, Iron Jonah should be the last panel.

What if the universe was ending by a Celestial Jonah? Because that last panel looks more Celestial than anything else.

CELESTIAL JONAH

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010
The only problem with Taskmaster learning Japanese from TV is that Chow Yun Fat speaks Cantonese. Not Japanese. They're not even really similar.

RyuujinBlueZ
Oct 9, 2007

WHAT DID YOU DO?!

El Gallinero Gros posted:

The only problem with Taskmaster learning Japanese from TV is that Chow Yun Fat speaks Cantonese. Not Japanese. They're not even really similar.

I thought he was saying that the move he pulled there was from a Chow Yun Fat movie, and then his ability to speak Japanese was just a side thing. They were unrelated.

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!

mind the walrus posted:

I know that Ultimate Reed is rubbery too, and has deflected lead bullets at least once. What the hell kind of bullets is Taskmaster using there? Ultra-barbed flechettes?

Millarite, also known as nonsensadium.

AnonSpore
Jan 19, 2012

"I didn't see the part where he develops as a character so I guess he never developed as a character"

El Gallinero Gros posted:

The only problem with Taskmaster learning Japanese from TV is that Chow Yun Fat speaks Cantonese. Not Japanese. They're not even really similar.

It's a reference to the akimbo pistols.

redbackground
Sep 24, 2007

BEHOLD!
OPTIC BLAST!
Grimey Drawer

mind the walrus posted:

Well yeah but sadly I have zero dollars to spare on an avatar right now. Money is super tight for at least the next year and like hell I'm going to beg someone else for an internet avatar like some uber-goon.
Keep an eye out for an upcoming raffle in the Hardcover thread!

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

mind the walrus posted:

I know that Ultimate Reed is rubbery too, and has deflected lead bullets at least once. What the hell kind of bullets is Taskmaster using there? Ultra-barbed flechettes?
Looked like some kind of generic zappy energy gun.
But Sue has the coolest power, being able to flatten someone with an angry glare.

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

BetterToRuleInHell posted:

What if the universe was ending by a Celestial Jonah? Because that last panel looks more Celestial than anything else.

CELESTIAL JONAH

Marvel needs to copy the Emperor Joker storyline and make it Emperor Jonah, where instead of killing Batman, Jonah gets to expose and then kill or humiliate Spidey/Peter every single day, over and over, for eternity. Or until someone figures out how to stop him.

Also, regarding Taskmaster, the only good thing to come out of Deadpool Max was the female Taskmaster.

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

You know I'm going to assume that they aren't actually letting you see through the mask for the reader's sake but that Jonah just had his assistant draw the stash and face on the helmet with a marker.

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

SirDan3k posted:

You know I'm going to assume that they aren't actually letting you see through the mask for the reader's sake but that Jonah just had his assistant draw the stash and face on the helmet with a marker.

BETTY! DRAW ME A FACE!

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

SirDan3k posted:

You know I'm going to assume that they aren't actually letting you see through the mask for the reader's sake but that Jonah just had his assistant draw the stash and face on the helmet with a marker.

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

SirDan3k posted:

You know I'm going to assume that they aren't actually letting you see through the mask for the reader's sake but that Jonah just had his assistant draw the stash and face on the helmet with a marker.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
I choose to believe that the mask is being electro-molded to JJJ's face, through Science!

Poor Miserable Gurgi
Dec 29, 2006

He's a wisecracker!

His assistant's so surprised, his glasses popped off.

RyuujinBlueZ
Oct 9, 2007

WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Two things:

First, Jonah's expression doesn't change between those panels. This lends support to the "marker on mask" theory, and is beautiful.

Second, those panels are all way better read in J.K. Simmons' voice.

TwoPair
Mar 28, 2010

Pandamn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
Grimey Drawer

Ha, does this mean Tony Stark designs his suits' masks with an internal opacity filter?

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


I can't believe no one's told that colorist that he's loving up yet.

cafel
Mar 29, 2010

This post is hurting the economy!

Haha, so Jonah just bursts into Stark's lab, appropriates an Iron Man suit and just starts randomly destroying lab equipment in his glee over taking out Spiderman. I forgot just how delightfully insane/incompetent everyone in newspaper Spiderman is.

Gann Jerrod
Sep 9, 2005

A gun isn't a gun unless it shoots Magic.

Lurdiak posted:

I can't believe no one's told that colorist that he's loving up yet.

Even better, the Sunday colorist has the right colors, so once a week you'll get Iron Jonah as a GOLDEN GOD:

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

cafel posted:

Haha, so Jonah just bursts into Stark's lab, appropriates an Iron Man suit and just starts randomly destroying lab equipment in his glee over taking out Spiderman. I forgot just how delightfully insane/incompetent everyone in newspaper Spiderman is.

Oh, no. J-Cubed donated some money to Tony's charity so he lend him one of his old suits.

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Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Anyone know what the deal is with the weekday colourist? The weekday strips' colours are NEVER correct, not in all the years I've seen newspaper spidey! :psyduck:

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