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Stu-D HP: 14/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 1 "Oh, um, fanks, love!" Much relieved by the save, Stu smiles at Riot, then turns to the statues. He thinks he might have seen something like them before, and he begins inspecting it closely, rubbing his chin with one hand and squinting. "Park me a mo, love. Fink I c'n get deese fings ter work fer us." Spout Lore about the silver tongue statues: 2d6 7 Where was it, where was it? Stu is sure that he's seen these props somewhere before - or something like them. But what?
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Jan 22, 2014 23:30
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Flash The lizardman hisses with pain, but it turns to a roar as he shouts, "HER NAME IS JESSICAAAA!" He tackles you and both go flying over the edge of the statue. The two of you land hard on an island of thick crust floating in the lava sea, sending a huge ripple out that laps at Tarfuun's brass bodies. This island won't hold you for long. The lizardman, your name lopsidedly etched into his chest, rears back and you'll be cleaved down the middle if it hits. What do you do? Stu-D Out of that sticky situation thanks to Riot, you probe your drug-addled mind for that devilish face. What could it be... Aha! The dragonborn bass player from Bite the Iron had a lighter that looked like this statue, used to blow fireballs off it after shows. The flintswitch was the silver tongue, so maybe this works the same? Of course, in the time it took you to figure that out, a napalm-venom engorged mosquito bat has latched itself to your head! "ALT-ROCK IS RUINING OUR YOUTH," it wails in a tiny, insectiod voice as a sharp proboscis goes for your neck! What do you do? Miss Danger The quick dispatch of the lizard, and your excellent jump will definitely garner some sponsor interest. You land on the edge of the edge of the statue's platform, and only have a moment to catch your breath before a metal bol zips past your head! Turning towards its source, another reptilian foe stands at the end of the platform, guarding the precious face of Tarfuun. He's wielding some kind of cobbled together auto-crossbow, and the open ammo tray glitters with an unknown enchantment. What do you do? Grizztle A brutal strike to the head sends your victim cartwheeling into the lava. The action isn't over, however— A shout behind you reveals Riot and Stu-D, the latter with a big rear end mutant bug stuck to his head! What do you do? Riot Bingo. You, Stu-D and Grizztle are all on the same platform, but Grizztle is on the opposite end of it. You feel the platform shift with Grizztle's devastating blows. In fact, you notice some epices falling off the edge with each hit... Hold on, this platform isn't even stone— It's made of foamcore and spraypaint! Before you can even do anything about it, a bloated bug thing plops down on Stu-D's noggin and shouts some straight geezer poo poo. What do you do? Kag In the midst of your laughter, the bridge decides to crack in half, depositing you directly over burning death. Oh, the irony. What do you do?
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Jan 24, 2014 07:36
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 Kag tried to make the jump at the last minute, but fell short. (DD + Dex = 5) He started to fall through the air, but he always had a back-up plan. "RopeNStuff saves the day!" He produced the grappling hook from his bag (-1 use Adventuring Gear) and threw the hook at the next statue, whistling a terrible rendition of the theme song. Hanging over the pool of lava, he started to climb the rope, hauling Brainer up with him. Do I need to roll for this? Because Orokos is trying to kill me. ;-; Even though he was there for the greed, Kag could see the logic on making sure everyone made it through---he didn't have enough magic on him to make sure everyone else was okay. Once he regained level footing, he yelled across the chamber, "Hey, Flash, look the gently caress out! That bridge is wide open now!" (Go Gang Leader = 9) (An ally may travel through dangerous circumstances without defying danger.)
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Jan 24, 2014 11:47
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Is it alright if I keep posting the map? I'm finding it useful to keep track of everyone's relative location. Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 0/8 code:"And THIS," clang "sports fans, is why you can always rely on Ariadne for all your cooking needs! Look how this," wham, grunt "strapping specimen of a lizardman is COMPLETELYclang, squish DEFENSELESS thud, thud, crunch against the sheer power of the Carnage-brand Monster Tenderizer! And that's against a six-foot-tall armored foe, folks, don't forget!" As his faithful 'demonstrator' goes spinning away to a firey grave, Grizztle slots his hammer away and re-sets it to its more ordinary configuration as a pair of spider mouthparts. A faint howl of agony can be heard over the sounds of combat and bubbling magma. "'Atta girl," he says to himself, slapping its metal flank affectionately. "That's my good girl. We'll get through this yet. Now...where were we?" He hears a commotion, and turns to see his one-time 'co-pilot' about to get himself a neckful of hurt. Why, what a splendid opportunity.  "HEY, STU-D! DUCK!" He fires a gob of webbing in the general direction of Stu-D's neck. Volley: 7 +0 = 7. Choice: Take what you can get, dealing -1d6 damage. Damage: (1d8 = 2) - (1d6 = 6) = 0  "Something about the tongues, he said. Let's see what you're made of here..." He clambers up the shrine wall, mechanical appendages poking and pressing at every tooth, tongue, jewel, and wiggly bit they can reach. Let Me See That: - What does this do? - What's wrong with this, and how might I fix it?
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Jan 24, 2014 21:39
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Stu-D HP: 14/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 1 "AGH gently caress" Stu-D flails at the mosquito-bat in a panic, batting wildly with his gloved hands. Hack and Slash damage: 1d6 5 He hits fairly hard, almost dislodging the creature, but then the gob of webbing from Grizztle's mech hits him in the face. Now half-blind and looking more like a desperate muppet than a Dungeon Attack competitor, the elf stumbles around, wide open to retribution...
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Jan 25, 2014 00:54
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Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 "Can't you stop getting your rear end kicked for one second? I swear, we women..." Riot grabs Stu-D as he staggers around, and tries to keep his wild gyrations and swatting at his attacker from sending him over the edge of the platform or into more danger... Keep Stu-D from killing himself (Aid Another): 2d6+1 9 This modifies Stu-D's hack and slash, if possible. On a 7–9, they still get a modifier, but you also expose yourself to danger, retribution, or cost. "...have to do every goddamn thing."
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Jan 25, 2014 18:34
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Flash Stardasher - Hero of the Astral Sea! Giving a worried glance to the lava around him, Flash brings up his sword and attempts to parry the savage blow. (Parry roll: 2d6+1=8. I choose to take no damage.) With a well-timed flick of the wrist, Flash diverts the momentum of the blade to the side and nimbly steps out of the way. "If you mean to do me harm with that sword, you'd better stop waving it around like a feather duster!" Deciding that discretion is the better part of not sinking in lava, he decides to heed Kag's warning and make use of the dangerous terrain. "I hate to cut and run, friend," he quips as he vaults over the lizardman and grabs onto a dangling rope from the collapsing bridge,"but my fans would never forgive me if I got Flash-fried." Swinging from rope to rope and avoiding the occasional splash of lava, Flash manages to propel himself to safety on the statue he just fell from. "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have left that lizard fellow to die a horrible death down there." he mutters, looking down.
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Jan 26, 2014 10:12
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Kag Fine with me. I'm gonna say you're on the central statue now. Seems there's nothing immediately trying to murder you, giving a moment to catch your breath. What do you do now? Grizztle Yep, totally cool with me. The weight of your suit depresses the tounge, and with a loud, ratcheting noise, it locks into place on the bottom lip. Across the room, one of the stone salamanders stops spitting its beam. The force field noticeably weakens. You know what else weakens? This entire goddamn side of the room because you smashed it with hammers. The statue and all the stone it's connected to suddenly shifts and falls forward, and if you don't move right now you're either flattened or in the lava. What do you do? Stu-D You clear some of the web away from your eyes just in time—poo poo poo poo poo poo EVERYTHING'S FALLING what do you do? Riot One moment, the ground creaks. The next you're airborne and falling towards lava. What do you do? Flash At first, you don't see anything. Then you feel a breeze as the lizard's blade swipes the hat right off your head and into the air! Looks like those stately reptilian gams are nothing to laugh at! He leaps over the edge, knocking you back with a kick and brings another brutal swing down for your leg! What do you do?
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Jan 31, 2014 02:43
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Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 "Everliving gently caress!" As the world pitches and turns, tumbling downwards, Riot sees her life flash before her eyes...And she remembers that, even if she doesn't have time to weave wings, a tail... Weave A Spell (Form of the Dragon): 2d6+1 10 ...a spectral dragon's tail whooshes out from her upraised hands and wraps around the nearest solid object, flinging her into the air and (hopefully) back towards solid ground before it dissipates. Though the spell is a success, something tells me that, given the situation, her ongoing -1 INT, and the nature of 'Weave a Spell,' she doesn't have time to aim much and might need a split-second mid-air decision...
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Jan 31, 2014 14:55
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 (saberwulf, would it be possible for you to post a map on your next post detailing where everyone is?) Kag looked around him, watching Flash fight the lizardman, several of the other party membered piled onto the western statue, and Miss Danger staring down a lizard-man with a gleaming crossbow. He decided Miss Danger needed the most help, and nobody else was going to get that statue down as fast, so he once again climbed atop his gleaming, radical wolf and holwed, charging toward the southeast platform in hopes of getting to the shield generator (DD + Dex = 10. Skittering across the bridge, he immediately shoved a heel into Brainer's haunches and the large animal slid around, charging across the next bright straight to Miss Danger (DD + Dex = 7). While he charged, he leveled his spear and called out at the ranged lizardman, "Hey, ugly, why don't you try picking on someone your own color!" Invoking Order of the Blade, so the lizardman has to fight me or I get +1 to wrecking him.
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Jan 31, 2014 18:01
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Well, I sure found out what that does.  saberwulf, if there's any other dangers here I need to defy, either to get into the air or to get over to Stu-D, could you let me know what they are? I'll edit the narration to get them in. And if failing the DD+Dex roll means I can't do what comes after it, let me know too. The Deleter, if you're sick of me doing things to Stu-D: just say the word and I'll cut it out. Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 1/8 code:There's no time to think, only to run. But wait a minute--his 'co-pilot' is in a serious pickle. A heel he might be, and a danger to himself and everyone around him, but no sensible dungeon crawler leaves his comrades-in-arms to die. Especially when it's your fault to begin with. Grizztle leaps off the statue and rushes for the platform's edge as fast as he can, legs scissoring up and down like a baatezu's Salad Shooter. "CrapcrapcrapcrapCRAAAP STU-D YOU'D BETTER HOLD ON TIIIIGHT!" He swipes at Stu-D with one foreleg as he sprints past. With any luck, he can snag the little muppet before he gets an all-expenses-paid trip to Tarfuun's Exfoliating Magma Spa. Defy Danger +Dex: Save Stu-D without making his life any worse = 5... Well, crap. Sorry, buddy - I tried! XP marked. No time to look back or plan a trajectory. As the edge approaches, Grizztle sends a silent prayer to the Chef-King, and slams the chiropodiac control pedals all the way over to "Oh poo poo." SPROING Alumnus Post fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Jan 31, 2014 |
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Jan 31, 2014 21:19
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"Miss Danger" Bulette Blood HP: 23/23 Ranged weapon. An auto-crossbow, from the look of it. In the Waterdeep Wrestling Federation, anyone who brought an auto to an event got Flesh to Stoned. From the roar of the crowd and the smug grin on the lizardman, Miss Danger didn't think that rule applied here. She ran at the lizardman, bobbing and weaving to make her head a hard target to hit. Once she got within sword range, she put her face into her shirt and clapped her hands, spraying a fine dust into her opponent's face. Dust of Sneezing and Choking: an adventurer's best friend and worst enemy. Submission +Dex 2d6+2=9. I get one off the list, choosing "they feel sick and nauseated" The effect was immediate; the lizardman was wracked with choking coughs. Miss Danger took the opportunity to play to the crowd, peeling away her Glove of Storing in a "nothing up my sleeve" gesture.
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Feb 2, 2014 02:45
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Stu-D HP: 14/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 1 "Shiiiiiiit" Grizztle seems like the only avenue of safety right now. Stu kicks off a falling pillar and leaps after him, doing a little flip as he does so, hoping to grab on... Defy Danger (Dex) to cling onto Grizztle and get to safety: 2d6+1 6 "Kicks off a pillar and other matrix poo poo" was what Stu had hoped for, but his leap is less impressive than expected.
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Feb 3, 2014 18:25
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Riot The swing is good, but the collapsing scenery knocks your inteded statue over and into the lava. While you could land on its side, the tidal wave of its produced lava is about to add you to the DA skeleton crew. You're gonna have to readjust to either pass over the wave or land on a different statue. What do you do? Kag The ugly reptilian snaps his head in your direction, and Miss Danger blindsides him with a dust that makes him choke and gag. It seems he's more pissed off at that, and brigs the weapon up to bear, giving you an opening. Miss Danger Despite Kag's hollering, the lizard it focused on you. He brings the crossbow up and pulls the trigger tight, sending a flurry of bolts zipping all around you. They crackle with frost enchantments, surprising for the City of Brass. What do you do? Grizztle You reach out, but Stu-D escapes your grasp by a dramatic inch that will no doubt be re-broadcast in sappy slow motion and video-taped by weirdos. Now you're soaring at an awkward angle, and when you hit the statue you hit. Take 1d6 damage Your suit leaves a big-rear end dent in the brass and you're left twirling out on the central statue, stars in your eyes. Stu-D Yeah you miss by a mile. Fortunately, you happen to be falling at almost the right angle to land on the hardened crust island currently being carried along by a flaming tsunami. Defy danger to land on it safely. Here's an updated map of the current room: code:
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Feb 3, 2014 18:39
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 Kag never slows down, ever. He hurls himself straight at the lizardman, crossbow and all, spear at the ready, and thrusts his spear into the lizardman, disregarding his own safety. The spearhead goes smoothly into the lizardman, and as it does Brainer jolts the slightest bit forward, making sure it sinks deep (9 Damage!). He starts to dance back, trying to exploit his weapon's reach to dodge the lizardman's next attack, but he knows a bolt's going to be flying at him either way. "Now, Danger! Wreck his poo poo!"
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Feb 3, 2014 18:52
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Flash Stardasher - Hero of the Astral Sea! Sorry for not posting y'all. I don't really have an excuse, I'll try not to slack off so much again. Flash stumbles back in surprise but manages to compose himself. "I'm getting quite tired of this dance!" he says as he brings up his blade for another parry. (Parry roll: 2d6+1=6) Unfortunately, the poison slows him down enough to make him miss his chance at parrying. Uh oh. 
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Feb 3, 2014 22:39
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Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 2/8 code: KRUMP The A. A. slams into the central shrine with a noise like a torso-sized golf ball hitting a gong. Grizztle smashes his forehead open on the controls and blacks out. After a few moments, he comes to, and does his best to mop up the blood still streaming from the gash in his forehead. "Nggghh..." he mumbles. "Aha. Ahahaha. Made it. I made it! Hey Stu-D, we made...it..." His yell of jubilation trails off as he notices a distinct lack of weedy elves in the vicinity. "Ohhhhhh poo poo," he groans. "Stu-D? If you went and got yourself killed..." Seeing that nobody seems to be paying attention to him anymore amidst the chaos, Grizztle scuttles over the edge of the central statue and out of sight. He makes his way silently along the statue's perimeter, casting about for any sign of his elven comrade--or anybody who doesn't see him coming. Discern Realities +0 WIS = 6... XP marked. Lay it on me, boss - what happens now?
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Feb 4, 2014 00:38
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Stu-D HP: 14/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 2 Stu braces himself... Defy Danger (Dex) to land: 2d6+1 8 And lands on the hardened crust. However, as he surfs the lava to the hollers and cheers of the crowd, it begins to break up under his weight and his Nikes smoulder with the threat of fire. He leaps for the next statue, towards the Gate of Tarfuun, but the lack of a solid surface imperils him and his stunt may have drawn attention... What is my worse outcome, hard bargain, or ugly choice? code:
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Feb 4, 2014 01:04
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Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 The lava doesn't even Riot time to scream an expletive as it wells up in an incandescent black-and-red wave, intercepting her airborne path as her spectral tail dissipates. She screams something in draconic at her feet... Weave A Spell (Form of the Dragon): 2d6+1 8 ...which appear to take on a red-gold sheen like scales, and she angles off the lava with her soles, trying to tough out the searing heat. She's using the semisolid rock of the lava wave to push off and finish her airborne arc towards land, simultaneously showing all those in the audience that grrls can make do with sheer grit anytime. Defy Danger (Tough It Out): 2d6+1 4 ...or maybe they can't? It's up to the DM how the combination of successful dragon scale feet for jumping off lava and lovely tough-it-out defy danger roll combine!
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Feb 4, 2014 03:12
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Stu-D The crowd cheers at your gnarly ride, but those cheers turn to laughter when you tumble off the boar into Grizztle's steely side. Take 1d6 damage. "Ooh! That's gotta hurt! I'd ask someone to get Stu-D some ice, but well, you know." Grizztle Congratulations, you found Stu-D! And by found, I mean he wipes out face-first into your suit and drops to the floor like a grilled cave perch. What do you do? Flash Your parry only alters the blade's course. You hear the noise first, then feel a spreading warmth before the blinding pain decides to kick in. The lizardman's brought his sword down and cut a huge gash in your side, spreading dark crimson across the brassy floor and ruining your outfit. The reptilian steps back and laughs at your pitiful writhing, leaving himself open if you can manage it. What do you do? Kag As MadRhetoric hasn't posted since the 1st, I'll be modifying things a bit so your post isn't left out. On your queue, Bullete dodges through the shots like a champ and takes the ugly beast down with an excellent slam. It lets out a choking hiss and falls unconscious, tongue lolled out to the side. What do you do? Riot "A beautiful dragon form by Riot! But can she take the heat?" The spell is good, but your flight isn't. You twist the wrong way in the air, come in towards the central statue and hit your head. Hard. Despite your helmet, you feel like a troll just played mini golf with your frontal lobes. -1 INT until next room. At least you're on safe ground now. What do you do?
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Feb 11, 2014 06:57
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Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9, Stu-D XP: 2/8 code:"Hey, hold on a second here..." Grizztle hooks a bottle off Stu-D's belt and holds it up to the light--no spirits in here. He scoffs in amazement. "So that's where my last bottle of Chateau Avernus went. You sorry sonofabitch, did you drink it all? I'm amazed you can even see right now." Baatezu liquors are famous for their otherworldly terroir - and the devilish quality of the hangover you'll have the morning after. "What was it you said about your bottles again?" He shakes the bottle around a bit and taps on the glass with a fingernail, then produces a corkscrew and starts pulling out the cork. Spout Lore +2 Int: 9 What the hell did Stu-D put in my last bottle of Baatorian spiced wine? I know he said something to me and Kag about this before...
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Feb 11, 2014 19:33
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Stu-D HP: 10/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 3 Damage!: 1d6 4 "Uuuuugh..." Stu reaches a hand to his face and paws at it, wincing. Nope, nose is fine. Everything else hurts, but seems to still be attached to his body. Bleeding a bit, maybe? Vision is a little blurry, but everything else seemed to be okay. Legs not burnt off, shoes okay, not lost any of the bottles - Wait, poo poo, he was missing one! Panic. Did he drop one in the lava? Did he lose it when Riot picked him up? Stu looks around, and when he sees Grizztle with the bottle of Chataeu Avernus, he freaks out and snatches at it, blank eyes wide. "Oi! Let go ov that, yew daft sod! It's dangerous!" Interfere with Grizztle's attempt to open the bottle: 2d6+1 4 His attempts are pretty feeble, nauseous from the impact with the armor and his wounds.
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Feb 11, 2014 21:12
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Flash Stardasher - Hero of the Astral Sea!saberwulf posted:Flash So do I take damage, or... "Augh! Motherfucker!" Flash yelps, dropping the act and clutching his side in pain. He's never been hit before! "So that's what that feels like..." he mumbles, staring at the blood staining his suit. He shakes his head, closes his eyes and places a finger on his brow. "Deep breaths... can't let them see you stumble. The show must go on." When he opens his eyes again, they blaze with the light of Space Justice! "I'm going to charge your next of kin for the dry cleaning, you ruffian!" he bellows as he charges forward with a vicious lunge. (Hack and Slash roll: 2d6+1=9 Damage roll: 1d8=1) Unfortunately, his clumsy lunge barely grazes his opponent, leaving him unbalanced and wide open once again. "This is really starting to hurt my image" Flash thinks as he stumbles forward. Lurdiak fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Feb 13, 2014 |
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Feb 13, 2014 19:28
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 Kag lets out another hiss of glee as he watches the lizardman die, and then shouts, "Quickly, we need to destroy this statue! Stop standing over that lizardman's corpse and let's get this butt-ugly bit of stone into pieces!" Without a moment's hesitation, Kag turns on it and bodily runs his spear through the statue itself. The blade plunged into the stone, but not deep enough to cause decent structural damage. Kag let out a frustrated sound, dropping his spear and throwing his entire, armored frame against the stone structure, trying to shove it bodily into the lava. Attacking the statue: 2d6+2 9 Damaging the statue: 1d10+3 4 Shoving the statue in (+Str): 2d6+2 8
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Feb 13, 2014 20:19
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Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 Riot shakes her head "Uuuugh. Well, poo poo." and then thinks: Can't let 'em see you flinch, though. Never let the bastards see you look weak for a second. "We CAN take the heat, you see!" Riot, from the central statue, summons every ounce of coordination to make a sprint to the Gate of Tarfun, where hopefully she can clear her head and get to work on that magic - something she knows a hell of a lot more about than flying or lava. Defy Danger (Balance and Run Like a Mad Thing): 2d6+2 9 uh oh....
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Feb 13, 2014 23:35
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Flash poo poo, must've accidentally deleted the damage roll I put in there. Sorry for the confusion, the damage roll for his attack is d8. Despite your fury, your blade barely leaves cut a cut in your opponent's flesh. The lizard looks down at the scoring mark in disbelief. "What... What the gently caress? That's it? Seriously? Godsdamn you suck. Look like it's time for me TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY!" Seeing his chance, the lizard raises his massive blade up and brings it down through the air for your exposed back. What do you do? Kag I love how Kag thinks everything falling the gently caress apart is an intended feature.  Your strength holds out, and the statue starts to give... Wait, why does is everything shaking— As the statue lurches forward and collapses the "stone" walkway beneath you, you begin to realize Tarfuun's silver-tongued visage was not only a giant switch, but also a giant load-bearing structure... For the whole room. Kag, there's no floor and lava everywhere and this half of the dungeon is falling the gently caress apart oh god oh god What do you do? Riot You pass the first bridge no problem. There's a rumble below you as you run for the second, and out of nowhere a geyser of lava bursts upwards and incinerates it before your eyes! The ceiling begins to creak, and stone bricks are shaking and cracking off the walls near the gate. You're not sure if it's related, but the second beam dies out, leaving the gate open to pass through. Looks like you'll need a different way to get across, and fast. What do you do? Stu-D & Grizztle *Pop* One hundred and forty years ago, New Berk City was Nova Tiberis, still under the crushing grasp of High Elven rule. All species non-elven, and any hybrids were considered lower class, shoved shoulder to shoulder into sprawling ghettos barely a step above sleeping in the street. With so much poverty and tempers running high, magical gang wars constantly broke out, consuming entire blocks in multi-colored spectaculars that lit the city like neon in the dead of night. One of the nastiest gangs was the Dusters, a coalition of feyfolken from Éire with a ruthless leader who's influence still runs deep through that massive city. "Ladies and gentlemen, give a big Dungeon Attack applause for the spirit of Talulla Tairngire, Queen of the Unseelie Court!" The crowd goes utterly insane as the bottle explodes in your hand. From it bursts the ghostly visage of a tall faerie woman, dressed in bloody trousers and a damaksked tailcoat with the sleeves rolled up, metal cestus on her hands, and glowing hair cut short and jagged like broken glass. She looks down at the two befuddled crawlers, then up to the crowd, and raises her metal-clad fists high. "No one keeps Talulla fuckin' Tairngire in no fuckin' drink! Let's wreck this joint!" Around Tallulla materialize throngs of ghostly thugs once in her service. All of them fly out at her command and start smashing holes in the walls and tearing scaffolds down from the ceiling, making the dungeon ever more unstable. Massive pieces of fake cave are tumbling down and crushing dungeon features like paper, and staff are scrambling to escape their crumbling nooks behind the scenery. This is only contributing to the excitement of the crowd, now reaching a deafening roar at the purestrain destruction going on tonight. Everyone This room is falling the absolute gently caress apart. The gate's open, but can you make it?
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Feb 16, 2014 22:08
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Stu-D HP: 10/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 4 Stu boggles at the ghostly apocalypse around him before rounding on Grizztle. Fury is an unfamiliar expression - most people have generally seen him in various expressions of amusing fear or dopey happiness. "Yew fuckin' idiot! I told yew not ter open da fuckin' bottle! It took me fererver ter shut 'er up an' yew fuckin' let 'er aaaht again! Yew stupid fuckin' mushroom-licker!" The pop star's inventive slurs are cut short as a chunk of fake rock slams into the platform next to him, causing him to flinch away as it tumbles into the lava below. Stu takes one look at the falling rubble and the ghosts running around, and then back to the drow. "Go on, get da gently caress aaaht ov 'ere. And don't fuckin' die. I'll fuckin' 'aunt yew if yew don't win dis." He turns to the faerie ghost, a tiny figure against the mass of ectoplasm, and cups his hands around his mouth. "Hey, lady! Yew wanna get crazy?" And then - OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII: 2d6+1 4 (Oh dear  )The crowd shrieks - in delight or horror, probably both - as Stu doubles over, hacking and choking, his mouth distending as a ball of green ectoplasm forces its way out his throat. It grows like an obscene snot bubble, reaching about eight feet tall until it comes free and takes shape of a leering skull, a skeletal figure with sword, shield and a dessicated set of armor. Too late does Stu remember, as he falls back, dizzy and nauseated, that the Mad King of Todenwald was never very good at taking orders. "...poo poo." Now he has two ghosts to catch.
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Feb 17, 2014 01:25
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This is wonderful. We're ruining EVERYTHING. Never stop.   Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 3/8 code:"Holy poo poo, Tur-anion. This is what you keep locked up in your liquor cabinet? I think I underestimated you." A chunk of 'cavern' ceiling crunches onto the central platform's edge, taking with it a good piece of floor and Tarfuun's right eyebrow. "Remind me never to get on your bad side. Um. Again." He's about to say more, but Stu-D seems a bit preoccupied...holy poo poo what's that thing coming out of his mouth. Uh-uh. Nope, no way. Getting the nine hells out of here. "Goodluckwiththatbuddy gottagonowtrynottodieeither BYE!" Nothing for it now but to get the hell to the Gate of Tarfuun before things get any worse. Grizztle hunches down as best he can in his suit's exposed cockpit and wades through the maelstrom of falling 'rocks,' actual falling rocks, geysers of lava, and ghostly punters. He snaps off the occasional claw-swipe at the most immediate threats, crosses gaps with the aid of some hastily-laid web ropes, and does his best to dodge the falling rubble all around. The gate beckons closer with every step, but danger is everywhere...can he make it through? Defy Danger +DEX: Jump Around! = 2... Defy Danger +CON: Race to the Finish! = 3... ...Signs point to no. Crap. Considering all the 
Alumnus Post fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Feb 22, 2014 |
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Feb 17, 2014 20:53
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[quote="BrotherAdso" post="425134730"] Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 Temporary modifiers: Intelligence -2 Riot squints and concentrates, trying to summon up the right spell for the moment. Her head is swimming - one too many knocks and close calls with the Power of the Beyond in too few minutes had left her magical senses scrambled. Well, gently caress it. Riot grabs a fallen support from the ceiling and brandishes it like a vaulter's pole. "Pssh. I don't need a spell for a good old fashioned long jump." Defy Danger (Graceful Leap): 2d6+1 7 ...and she flies through the air towards the Gate of Tarfun, her trained magical senses alert for the moment she needs to weave a dragonform to finish her flight or avoid some magical trap on Tarfun's island... reminder: her elven mage racial ability is to detect nearby/ongoing magic. Discern Realities (Ready For Anything): 2d6 7
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Feb 19, 2014 13:06
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 Kag screeched again as the floor suddenly falls away from him, and tried in vain to scramble up the crumbling platform toward the bridge to one of the few statues still standing. But as he saw the platform falling forward, his cries quieted and he squared his jaw. Then he ran, hard, pounding the stone platform, keeping his cool as he got closer and closer to the rope bridge. And then, just as the platform gave way, he leapt. Most of the crowd watching him went dead silent as the small goblin's body soared through the air, just feet from the pool of lava. A beat passed, and another, and then it became painfully obvious that he didn't have the momentum required to carry him to the now-collapse rope bridge that would've served as a fine ladder. And at that moment, something dark and green came flying by Kag, grabbing his arm in its jaws and throwing them both, hard, against the rope bridge and the stone statue behind it: Brainer had come for him. If he hadn't been ready, that grab would've shattered his arm in two places. But Kag knew, the whole time; a Devil Comet knows his ride, and Brainer knew him. As Kag rebounded from hitting the stone, he got a tight grip on the wooden slats with one hand and caught Brainer in the other. He began to climb, and the crowd exploded. Defy Danger by Enduring: 2d6+2 12
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Feb 19, 2014 16:55
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Stu-D "Viewers, it's a double-whammy tonight with the Mad King of Todenwald! You might know him from—" Wyvernjack's narration is cut short by an ear-shattering roar from the Mad King, now rising high above the crawler that coughed him out. The roar turns into a creepy, backwards laugh as Todenwald levels his sword for Talulla's specter. "RAAAGGHAHAHAHAHAHH! WELL BLOODY HELL, IF IT ISN'T MY LUCKY DAY!" He chortles again and says in a mocking fey accent, "THE OL' OIRISH MOSQUITO, TALULLA FOOKIN' TAINGIRE!" Talulla engulfs herself in ethereal flame at his voice. The look her face is utter fury,, and without even a word she explodes forwards into an all out duel with the Mad King. The two warp reality wherever their strikes clash, and hits too close to the scenery straight up disintegrate it. How the hell is this room still standing?! What do you do? Grizztle It would be only one, since you failed the first roll. You make it across the first gap before mangled scaffolding falls from the ceiling and slams you into the top of a statue. The impact screwed with a leg servo, and now one of them is moving in short, jerking bursts. -1 DEX on the next turn  What do you do?Riot The crumbling architecture is causing more problems. One of the beam-shooting statues has broken off into the air, and you can sense it's about to reactivate and knock you into certain death if you don't correct your course right now. What do you do? Kag Love it. "Viewers, will you look at that beautiful save by Brainer! You only get precision like that with a rider who truly knows their mount!" Brainer helps you climb up onto semi-stable ground. Thankfully you're on this side of the statue, as Grizztle hits the other side so hard he leaves a dent. Looks like one of his suit legs is going haywire. What do you do? UPDATED MAP code:
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Feb 22, 2014 14:22
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Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 3/8 -1 DEX forward: stanky leg code:Oh hey, isn't that Kag climbing up a broken bridge? Haven't seen him since the crawl started. "Heyyyy, it's the Devil Comet! Nice save on that jump there. You got any more Mordenkainen Light in that ride of yours? I'm gonna need one when we get out of here." He looks around at the collapsing dungeon. "Really something, isn't it?" he comments to the psychotic little goblin. "It's been what...fifteen minutes? And the entire dungeon's coming down already. Never had so much fun in my LIFE." He laughs long and loud, leans back in the cockpit, and takes a few moments to just...take in all this magnificent devastation. O! What a time to be alive! This is the kind of memory you'll want to tell to your grandkids...if you get out alive, anyway. Discern Realities (+Wis) about the party's situation: 12! :iamafag: There's Stu-D, a tiny figure alone amidst a war of titans. Holy poo poo, that guy's scary. Hope he'll make it out okay. There's Riot, soaring through the air like a Molotov cocktail heading for a SWAT van. Rats. He was hoping to be first through the gate. Wait a second here...Miss Danger is nowhere to be seen. And where the hell is Flash? Discern Realities: - What (who) should I be on the lookout for? - What is about to happen? - Who’s really in control here? (Take +1 forward when acting on the answers.)
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Feb 22, 2014 17:46
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 Kag grins his goblin grin and pulls another beer from the leather pouch near Brainer's haunches. He looks at the mechanical man and jeers, "Sure, here's the beer!" Then he slams the can against the metal collar of the power-suit, cracking it with his strength and spilling beer all over the device. "I christen thee Stanky Leg!" The goblin breaks into a fit of laughter as he climbs back onto his mount, reading his spear and turning to the exit door. "Now if you'll excuse me, stanky leg, I've got some gems to collect!" Kag wasn't sure if the gems set around the door were real, or if he'd be allowed to keep them, but they looked expensive enough to at least try. So he cracked open another beer and set off at a trot across the last bridge to the gate of Tarfuun, listening to the cacophony of destruction behind him. Rocks fell all around him, splashing lava up and shuddering the entire room's structure, but his pace didn't increase. There were plenty of people still behind him, and he didn't look back. He just pulled his kutte tighter to make sure the Devil Comets patch was visible to the crowd. Trotting across the bridge like a badass (Defy Danger + Endure): 2d6+2 13 When he got to the gate, he chucked the empty beer into the lava and began to try to pry the gems out with his spear. His grinded the tip of his weapon into the mount, and try to use his leverage to force the stone-set gem free. Prying gems out (+STR): 2d6+1 8
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Feb 22, 2014 20:35
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Flash Stardasher - Hero of the Astral Sea! (Damage roll: 1d8-1=7. HP: 13/20) Flash looks at the collapsing scenery around him and briefly considers fleeing. But... no. Keldrin Sorbo may be a two-bit nobody who's never been in a real fight before, but to these people out in the stands and watching at home, he's Flash Stardasher. And Flash Stardasher would never turn tail and flee from a thug like this. Time to show all the Spaceketeers what he's made of! "I've beaten brutes bigger, stronger and uglier than you, my friend. It's been a long time since anyone drew blood but when this is all said and done, you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!" (Parry roll: 2d6+1=10! I choose to take no damage, deal 1 armor-piercing damage to my enemy, and lock blades with him.) In a motion so fluid it seems rehearsed, Flash manages to deflect the blow away from him, riposte with a cut across the lizardman's cheek, and bring his weapon back down to lock blades with his opponent, sending sparks flying. "Since it seems our surroundings aren't going to last much longer, I should cut to the chase and finish you off!" (Hack and Slash roll: 2d6+1=7 Damage roll: 1d8=1  )Flash tries for a killing strike to the heart, but the Lizardman leaps back just out of reach, and Flash kind of ends up slightly poking his opponent, adding an awkward period at the end of his half-scribbled signature. Standing off-balance with his arm extended, he just kind of smirks nervously at his foe.
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Feb 23, 2014 04:01
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Kallen "Riot" Dari, Riot Mage HP: 17/17 Load: 6/8 Temporary modifiers: Intelligence -2 "I don't have TIME for this poo poo!" Riot reaches out and grabs a huge piece of falling ceiling in midair next to her and, with all the agility of a elf-wannabe-dragonling in flight, twists around so that it stands between her and the soon-to-be activated beam statute. She's hoping to use it to shield herself as she finishes her controlled plummet toward the Gate... Defy Danger (Dextrously Spin Myself Around a Flying Boulder): 2d6+1 5 oh man, this is gonna be gross
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Feb 24, 2014 12:31
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Stu-D HP: 10/14 Load: 4/15 XP: 5 This was bad. Really bad. Holy poo poo this was so loving bad, how did things get so bad? Normally, when Stu let the King out of the bag, he'd try and make sure it went back into the bag. Letting a mad ghost king with a grudge against the living roam around was a pretty bad thing. But now, with the dungeon collapsing around him and ghosts smashing against each other in a roar of anger... gently caress this. Stu turns and begins to dash towards the gate of Tarfuun, dodging rocks and leaping over fallen chucks of dungeon in a mad, screaming panic to get away. Defy Danger (Dex) to get to the gate of Tarfuun: 2d6+1 9 It would be heroic if he didn't hesitate on that last jump...
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Feb 25, 2014 19:52
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Miss Danger HP: 23/23 There is a saying Miss Danger's teacher taught her: act where there is no action, sense when there is no sense. There was no sense to be found here, so she let her senses do the work, a Rope Trick keeping her from the madness. I still don't know what in the hell is going on, so time to Discern Realities: 2d6+1=8. What is about to happen?
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Feb 27, 2014 22:34
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Grizztle Well, you should probably be worried about that figure currently attempting to rise ominously from the lava pits. It's just appeared at the edge of the current platform, and looks like a floating ball of ugly rear end dishrags— Wait, poo poo. It's the goddamn wizard Kag was fighting before. "HOO HOO HOO!" it says with an eldritch laugh before beginning to slowly conjure another fireball. You know, something seems off about that wizard. Seems to have a lot of extremely visible strings attached to it. Judging by how fast one half of the dungeon has collapsed, this side will probably go down in the next five minutes, probably less. Might be a good idea to get moving. With the ceiling and walls splitting open, you can see all the staff scrambling to get out. One in particular is staying, however. A genasi woman in a complicated climbing harness and a hard hat, barking orders into a radio as the scaffolding bends and twists around her. Must be a coordinator for the room. What do you do? Kag The spear tip slides in, hits something crunchy, and with your force brutally shatters the gems and takes a chunk out of the wall. What the hell; they're fake! What's more, the gate is starting to groan. Gods above, is this whole dungeon made of styrofoam and spraypaint? What do you do? Flash The lizardman grips his blade tight with an evil grin. Once again he raises it, though this time he stops short and seems to notice the dungeon around him. "Huh? Whoa, whoa! What the gently caress happened to this place!? Man, I did not sign up for this poo poo! I'm calling my goddamn manager... Yo, Starcrapper. Hate to rush ya, but I gotta pick my kid up from daycare." His arm lunges out, grabs yours, and pulls you hard into a throw that sends you tumbling over the edge for more fiery hot death! "Learn to hold a sword next time, chump!" What do you do? Riot Ahahaha yeah, no. The beams acts more like a speeding spelljammer, and you feel at least half your bones shatter when you're crushed between the debris and the wall near Tarfuun's gate. Roll d10 for damage Hey, at least you're near the exit. Stu-D You're so close. One more leap and the momentum will carry you through the gate and out of this Papier-mâché nightmare. Just one more— A piece of ceiling is falling in your path. It's shiny, and you can see yourself reflected in it, superimposed on the glimmering lights and roaring crowds of Dungeon Attack. Can you do it? Miss Danger The rope trick saved you, but you're still hanging above a collapsing dungeon. You're hanging above Grizztle at the moment, and some good footwork will get you across the lava gap and right for the exit. What do you do?
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Feb 28, 2014 01:56
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Grizztle McThornbody, Culinary Mechanic HP: 21/21 Load: 6/9 XP: 4/8 -1 DEX forward: stanky leg code:The mocking laughter of the nearby wizard-puppet sends him into a frenzy of action. Eyes blazing, he pounces for the construct, mechanical jaws wide open and claws outstretched. Hack and Slash: 5... XP marked. Everything would be fine if not for the goddam stanky leg. In his fury, he forgets he has only seven legs to work with. At the critical moment the broken leg servo triggers, and makes him mis-aim his leap... What happens now? Alumnus Post fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Feb 28, 2014 |
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Feb 28, 2014 21:00
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Kag, The Devil Comets' Sergeant at Arms HP: 21/26, Load: 10/13, XP: 1 The goblin screeched in rage as the glass fell into his hand. "What the gently caress? Is this not the cheapest poo poo ever?" He growled again, throwing the glass into the lava, and then looked back over the scene. If he couldn't make a profit, maybe he could at least make everyone else safer. Inspiring some people: 2d6+1 10 I'm going to pick an ally may travel through dangerous circumstances without defying danger for all three. That's free Defy Danger for Flash, Miss Danger, and Stu-D. Kag giddily yelled, "Ho, Flash, don't die like that! Grab that rope I left on the next platform, and climb your rear end up it! Miss Danger, just roll over your shoulder when you land, run quick, and you'll be right where you want to be. And Stu-D, that jump ain't poo poo. Be like Nike: Just Do It!"
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Mar 1, 2014 18:12
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