endtimes.exe

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Hipster Occultist: Aug 16, 2008; _{He's an ancient, obscure god. You probably haven't heard of him.}

>Use your supercharged staff to summon ultra-weed to bind Satan to his throne, then proceed to ejaculate gallons of holy cum into his demonic visage until he is exorcised

Hipster Occultist fucked around with this message at 08:51 on Feb 23, 2014

# ? Feb 23, 2014 08:44

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 03:17

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:07

Mymla: Aug 12, 2010

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:28

TED BUNNDY: May 30, 2009; SO HUNGRY; Pork Pro

Hipster Occultist posted:

>Use your supercharged staff to summon ultra-weed to bind Satan to his throne, then proceed to ejaculate gallons of holy cum into his demonic visage until he is exorcised

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:33

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:38

FartRomancer.EXE: Jun 26, 2012

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:43

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 09:50

exit331: Feb 22, 2014

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 10:22

Snooze Cruise: Feb 16, 2013; hey look,
a post

>switch to Satan
>Have flashbacks of your previous two adventures with Beelz
>Shed a single tear

# ? Feb 23, 2014 10:30

Snooze Cruise: Feb 16, 2013; hey look,
a post

Also where is Suzie? Or was she in this and I just somehow missed her appearance.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 10:32

Bloody Penguin: Apr 3, 2009; I was hoping to come up with an objection while banging on my desk, Your Honor. ...I didn't.

Poland Spring posted:

Laugh. "I know your true name, demon. You are powerless before me. Death to the Great Satan. DEATH TO AMERICA!" and blast him with holy weed, making it sprout from every orifice.

While masturbating.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 10:50

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Poland Spring posted:

Laugh. "I know your true name, demon. You are powerless before me. Death to the Great Satan. DEATH TO AMERICA!" and blast him with holy weed, making it sprout from every orifice.

While masturbating.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 11:36

gucci bane: Oct 27, 2008

mr.capps posted:

>switch to Satan
>Have flashbacks of your previous two adventures with Beelz
>Shed a single tear

# ? Feb 23, 2014 11:41

Barack HUSSEIN: Mar 20, 2003; Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it

I guess every superhero need his theme music

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 12:31

tuyop: Sep 15, 2006; Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted; Fun Shoe

Garp Truther posted:

Resurrect Beelz with your Jesus-powers and then ask him to switch sides, with the incentive that he gets to kill Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 12:42

SaltyJesus: Jun 2, 2011; Arf!

mr.capps posted:

>switch to Satan
>Have flashbacks of your previous two adventures with Beelz
>Shed a single tear

# ? Feb 23, 2014 12:42

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:01

MeccaPrime: May 11, 2010

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

there is in other way

this is his destiny

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:12

FUCK YOU CAT!: Mar 23, 2009; FUCKIN' AIR DUSTER
big DUST WITH text
big AIR CATtext

Go home and watch Tremors on HD DVD.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:32

Archer666: Dec 27, 2008

We now possess the ultimate power! The time has come....

Summon Van Halen!

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:36

Tampa Bay Barbie: Oct 30, 2011

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:48

Zombiepop: Mar 30, 2010

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:48

Ren and Stimpire: Oct 28, 2013; Fun Shoe

Summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 13:50

Fargin Icehole: Feb 19, 2011; Pet me.

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 14:38

White Noise Marine: Apr 14, 2010

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 15:39

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

Mycroft Holmes posted:

>summon Diamond Joe Biden to destroy Satan

# ? Feb 23, 2014 15:41

Poland Spring: Sep 11, 2005

ok if diamond joe wins out over weed and masturbation do the Great Satan line before summoning him so Satan aka America can't retaliate (using a demons true name fucks em up)

hth

# ? Feb 23, 2014 15:56