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Sexgun Rasputin posted:it's ok whatever people want to do if they want to gently caress now or whenever couldn't have said it better myself
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Feb 28, 2014 23:04
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:it's ok whatever people want to do if they want to gently caress now or whenever Counterpoint, not irrelevant, just unnecessary. If you hold a relationship together long enough without sex, you've proven that it can function just fine without sex, let alone with merely bad/ok sex.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:16
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What does this "sexual compatibility" actually mean? Clearly there is a physical attraction if they have decided to get married, even if they haven't actually had sex yet. Do you mean, have they seen each other naked? Or do you mean, one or the other is just not very good at sex? Or is it about preferring one position to another? When put into clear language, It's obvious that compatibility in things that can't be learned (like temperament) are way more important than whether they both like anal, or whatever.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:29
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So does anybody have any tips on dealing with this problem? Sex, whatever, I don't even have friends. I don't know how to meet people or what to talk about, and I'm pretty sure I don't have anything to actually offer anybody. I look in the mirror and think, why would anybody want that? I've been trying therapy for a while, antidepressants don't work, and I think grilled cheese sandwiches suck. Yeah, yeah, I should chop off my dick on webcam before and/or after killing myself, anything else?
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Feb 28, 2014 23:30
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Being able to keep a relationship going without sex would be really good for some couples. For example if a woman has a child then her sex drive can just loving disappear. If they've been humping like rabbits for the whole rest of their relationship then its likely that could put a huge strain on an already strained situation. You can't say you can never have a great relationship without sex since most relationships will be without sex for periods of time and it'd be easier to get through those times if "sex is fundamental!" wasn't a universally accepted truth. I dunno I'm rambling.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:32
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12gauge posted:So does anybody have any tips on dealing with this problem? Sex, whatever, I don't even have friends. I don't know how to meet people or what to talk about, and I'm pretty sure I don't have anything to actually offer anybody. I look in the mirror and think, why would anybody want that? Someone is going to suggest that you (a person who can't even have a natural human interaction or make a friend) should try radically transforming both your personality and your lifestyle. Good luck.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:33
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Whatever you do, do not use sex workers as a substitute for intimacy. You will become addicted to these women like an addict to crack. And like that addict you will feel like crap when the high is over. You will grow to resent women and someone will get hurt badly.Maybe even killed.You can not buy love or real intimacy.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:36
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All I wanna know is do people who wait until marriage masturbate all the dang time or is there some serious Zen bullshit going on there? I mean my sex drive ain't mega high but that can be a long time to wait, gosh
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Feb 28, 2014 23:45
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As someone who has had sex in marriage, and then outside, I assure you, start loving if you can help it and don't wait.
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Feb 28, 2014 23:52
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Isotropic posted:What does this "sexual compatibility" actually mean? Clearly there is a physical attraction if they have decided to get married, even if they haven't actually had sex yet. Do you mean, have they seen each other naked? Or do you mean, one or the other is just not very good at sex? Or is it about preferring one position to another? what jfc it is different to gently caress one person than it is to gently caress another. vastly. smells different, feels different. hope i'm not saying anything too controversial here but sex is p intimate and a way to get to know someone you really like a whole lot better. it's a part of loving someone, in a relationship, to have good sex with them. are you an alien from the planet blork.
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Mar 1, 2014 00:17
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Shannonmcn posted:Being able to keep a relationship going without sex would be really good for some couples. For example if a woman has a child then her sex drive can just loving disappear. If they've been humping like rabbits for the whole rest of their relationship then its likely that could put a huge strain on an already strained situation. having good sex chemistry isn't the same as your relationship immediately dying if you can't gently caress constantly though??? why even bring this up???
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Mar 1, 2014 00:19
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you guys are weird
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Mar 1, 2014 00:20
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Char posted:Let's see. Playing music, archery, martial arts, videogaming and I'm a sys admin in an university. I'd say they're quite nerdy, but the real issue is that there's no girls in these activities. It's a cultural thing, we southern europeans aren't that keen on seeing women doing whatever they please. When is music considered nerdy? Why do you think there are no girls involved in these things? And what the gently caress does "we southern europeans aren't that keen on seeing women doing whatever they please" even mean?
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Mar 1, 2014 00:26
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Nessa posted:"we southern europeans aren't that keen on seeing women doing whatever they please" lol what the gently caress are you time travelers from the dark ages or something jesus christ
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Mar 1, 2014 00:45
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:having good sex chemistry isn't the same as your relationship immediately dying if you can't gently caress constantly though??? why even bring this up??? Someone mentioned people who wait until marriage for sex have proven that their relationship can function without sex. Since that's a situation that crops up in other relationships too they'd be more able to cope with it and not have a brief interlude without sex be a huge relationship-ruining thing.
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Mar 1, 2014 00:49
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because you may in the future not have sex, you should not have sex in the present to prepare for this inevitability. yes.
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Mar 1, 2014 00:52
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:because you may in the future not have sex, you should not have sex in the present to prepare for this inevitability. yes. This is a good point that I had not considered.
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Mar 1, 2014 00:54
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:because you may in the future not have sex, you should not have sex in the present to prepare for this inevitability. yes. That's an extreme reading. You do see a lot of relationships break up because someone's sex drive dies off though, if you've waited a bit at some point before that then you're possibly better equipped. I'm not making it compulsory. Just pointing out a possible good side effect?
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Mar 1, 2014 00:56
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i like your optimism but i fail to see practice for suffering through a sexless marriage as a good thing. it is a good thing usually when those relationships die, because the miserable party can go find someone that can make them happy.
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Mar 1, 2014 01:06
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Shannonmcn posted:Someone mentioned people who wait until marriage for sex have proven that their relationship can function without sex. Since that's a situation that crops up in other relationships too they'd be more able to cope with it and not have a brief interlude without sex be a huge relationship-ruining thing. this is a b.s. argument because they're two separate issues. it's a good thing to have a solid foundation for a relationship so that it can survive without sex. it is also good to have a good sexual relationship when you actually do have sex. there's no equivalency.
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Mar 1, 2014 01:12
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I haven't given it any great thought and I'm not a person who does really wait to have sex. Just thought it might be one potential maybe benefit to waiting. If everyone disagrees that's cool, I was just floating an idea not presenting a manifesto.
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Mar 1, 2014 01:27
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South Europe FTW
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Mar 1, 2014 01:40
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Arian_Samurai posted:Over the years I've been gifted two George Foreman grills, two sandwich presses, and a quesadilla maker. Those are all really weird gifts.
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Mar 1, 2014 01:45
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He's really fat.
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Mar 1, 2014 01:47
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Nessa posted:When is music considered nerdy? Why do you think there are no girls involved in these things? And what the gently caress does "we southern europeans aren't that keen on seeing women doing whatever they please" even mean? When you play/like stuff which isn't really liked by other musicians close by; because where I live there are few girls involved in these things; it means that the societies of southern European countries place are very masculine.
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Mar 1, 2014 02:28
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Char posted:When you play/like stuff which isn't really liked by other musicians close by; because where I live there are few girls involved in these things; it means that the societies of southern European countries place are very masculine. What are your thoughts on Slavoj Zizek, OP?
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Mar 1, 2014 02:33
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Twisty of Fate posted:What are your thoughts on Slavoj Zizek, OP? I didn't know anything about him by now. After a cursory glance of his works and thought, I can only say that I'd probably disagree with part of his political views... I should read something signed by him rather than descriptions of his views. I'm reading some of his quotes, and they seem to be all over the place, but now I can understand his criticism towards liberalism. Also, he seems to be pretty negative and cynical. Still, I didn't know about this guy until now, so I can't really have an opinion. EDIT: perspective, again: http://www.weforum.org/issues/global-gender-gap, this is what I mean. Income and employment rate are measurable, how much social pressure alters a woman's quality of life and expectations not so much. Char fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Mar 1, 2014 |
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Mar 1, 2014 03:01
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Ok wait so people are actually saying you shouldn't have sex before marriage because eventually in marriage you may end up having no sex. By that logic, your spouse is eventually going to die so just never meet other people as practice. You goons are outgooning yourselves.
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Mar 1, 2014 03:17
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Make love when you can. It's good for you.
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Mar 1, 2014 03:34
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pointsofdata posted:Those are all really weird gifts. I don't think so. Who the hell would buy a quesadilla maker for themselves?
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Mar 1, 2014 03:49
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I have my first proper date next Saturday.  I've never been on a date with someone from the Internet before. I just have to make it through the week without getting hideously anxious about the whole thing and freaking out when I actually meet the guy. I'm proud of myself for actually taking the step to meet him in real life, though! I've never done that before.
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Mar 1, 2014 04:09
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Starter Wiggin posted:Ok wait so people are actually saying you shouldn't have sex before marriage because eventually in marriage you may end up having no sex. By that logic, your spouse is eventually going to die so just never meet other people as practice. Actually Christianity says that not goons
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Mar 1, 2014 04:09
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Okay virgoons, I have a question from the female perspective (assuming a straight male virgin). I've gone on a few dates with a guy I find to be attractive and an all around good guy, but it has become obvious that he's a virgin with zero confidence (we're both mid 30s). We've kissed twice, and both times it has visibly taken him several minutes to work up the courage to ask - I tried initiating and he seemed terrified. At the end of our third (and most recent) date, he made an effort to get me back to his place, which ended with us standing outside his door while he tried to ask me to come in. I had a pretty good idea what he was going for, and I tried to help him out, but it seemed like he lost the ability to form words. He finally managed to ask if I wanted to "screw around" at which point I was so put off I said I thought we should take it slow. My question is this: how do I make him feel comfortable and confident enough that sex isn't just incredibly terrible? I like the guy, but I'm not willing to have what I know will be awkward and generally bad sex purely for his sake. I've considered getting him drunk, but that comes with its own set of problems. My friends keep telling me that this is not my problem to fix, and I understand that, but not dating someone just because they're a virgin seems lovely to me.
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Mar 1, 2014 04:17
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Why does everyone care about having sex anyway. It's like who cares
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Mar 1, 2014 04:39
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Anything Box posted:Okay virgoons, I have a question from the female perspective (assuming a straight male virgin). I've gone on a few dates with a guy I find to be attractive and an all around good guy, but it has become obvious that he's a virgin with zero confidence (we're both mid 30s). We've kissed twice, and both times it has visibly taken him several minutes to work up the courage to ask - I tried initiating and he seemed terrified. impossible. you're going to have to invest a lot of time and energy into training him to be less weird. his next girlfriend sure will appreciate all the hard work you did.
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Mar 1, 2014 04:39
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Tell him that you know he's a virgin. He's probably really stressed out that you're going to "find out," and somehow thinks you don't already know? That's my guess.
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Mar 1, 2014 04:42
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:impossible. you're going to have to invest a lot of time and energy into training him to be less weird. his next girlfriend sure will appreciate all the hard work you did. This is so true -- it will be a lot of effort for you to make him a not poo poo person and once you do it will probably still be a point of contention between you two. Or at least for you, in your head.
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Mar 1, 2014 05:30
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Synonymous posted:All I wanna know is do people who wait until marriage masturbate all the dang time or is there some serious Zen bullshit going on there? No to both I guess but varying mileages whatever.
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Mar 1, 2014 06:14
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Pinball posted:I have my first proper date next Saturday. Good for you Pinball! Seriously don't worry about it. This is just like meeting any other stranger, you just corresponded through the Internet a bit first. If you don't click, cool, at least you met a new person. If you click a little but not really in a romantic way, cool maybe you made a good friend. If you click and totally dig each other then super cool! But right now you're pretty much starting from zero so don't just the gun and just have fun meeting a new person.
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Mar 1, 2014 06:18
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Anything Box posted:Okay virgoons, I have a question from the female perspective (assuming a straight male virgin). I've gone on a few dates with a guy I find to be attractive and an all around good guy, but it has become obvious that he's a virgin with zero confidence (we're both mid 30s). We've kissed twice, and both times it has visibly taken him several minutes to work up the courage to ask - I tried initiating and he seemed terrified. Sounds like it's already over but it's not like you have to get him really drunk. A few beers, making out and then at bar close "Let's go to your place..." should work. If it doesn't move then move on.
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Mar 1, 2014 09:03
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