Kaboom Dragoon posted:

Paying for porn in general is a big STDH on its own.

Morkyz posted:

For some reason libraries putting video stores out of business is hilarious to me.

The Dickens posted:

My shop gets a lot of collectors and people who have favorites. Favorite directors, production companies and so forth, and it's easier to get three straight hours of the same actual production/movie virus free from us than the internet, for them. Easier than sifting through keywords when you're trying to find...I don't know. Y Porn Star in X Scene titled "gently caress my fat face" or something. Googling gently caress my fat face and hoping to narrow down from there is a long process, if you have a shop that knows new releases and production companies fairly well, you can find high quality originals of exactly what you were looking for instead of googling for twenty minutes hoping for a six minute clip, and then they feel like they're supporting a local business and that they have 'a guy,' like old school music shops were.

El Estrago Bonito posted:

Well ours had a leg up because a local video rental store that was really well stocked with lots of cool, obscure and rare movies wen't out of business and the library bought out their whole collection.

Gus Hobbleton posted:

What is a "blue" section?

InediblePenguin posted:

There are video rental places around me in east Texas - not very many, but they exist; their main draw here is that they rent out those bowdlerized Christian Family Friendly Versions where all cussing or gays or instances of female harlots showing their bare elbows have been excised by hitting "pause" on the VHS recorder during that part of the film

quote:

Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
Internet Cafe | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(I am a regular at an internet cafe and am quite friendly with the staff. I’m at the front counter chatting with one of them, while there is a young lady working on one of the computers that’s becoming visibly more and more frustrated. Eventually she slams her fists down on the keyboard. The staff member looks up from our conversation and goes over to see what’s wrong as I listen in.)

Staff: “I’m going to have to ask you not to do that, miss, or you’ll have to pay for any damages. Is something wrong? Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “The computer won’t respond to me! It’s not sending the email I wrote up!”

Staff: “Okay, I might be able to help you with that. How are you sending the email?”

Customer: “You don’t understand. The computer won’t respond to me! It won’t do what I want it to!”

Staff: “I understand, miss, but you’ll need to explain to me exactly what you’re trying to do so I can help you.”

(Suddenly the customer goes ballistic and starts screaming at the staff member.)

Customer: “CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HATE COMPUTERS?! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS!”

(With this the customer picks up the keyboard and slams it down on the desk before pushing past the stunned staff member and running out of the internet cafe. The staff member eventually picks up and unplugs the now broken keyboard as I wander over to him.)

Me: “Why would she be in here trying to send an email if she hates computers?”

Staff: “I don’t know, but I’m going to go have a smoke.”

Khazar-khum posted:

"Swearing a blue streak" and "blue" for adult in general goes back at least to the 1930s. At least.

Oh, look. Somebody looking for porn?

Ariza posted:

Are internet cafes still popular in Australia? I only ever see them in poorer countries anymore. In America, if you want to see an old man looking at porn in public, public libraries all have rows of computers available for public use. Wear gloves!

deadly_pudding posted:

There was a Blockbuster in my old neighborhood all the way up until the nationwide shutdown.

The Hollywood Video didn't fare as well, though...


Probably some drug dealers outside, though

jodai posted:

That's pretty smart if whoever took over the property just called their business Hollywood wine and spirits.

deadly_pudding posted:

There was a Blockbuster in my old neighborhood all the way up until the nationwide shutdown.

The Hollywood Video didn't fare as well, though...


Probably some drug dealers outside, though

deadly_pudding posted:

There was a Blockbuster in my old neighborhood all the way up until the nationwide shutdown.

The Hollywood Video didn't fare as well, though...


Probably some drug dealers outside, though

quote:

Popped Off
Grocery Store | Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

(A customer walks into the store and walks over to the service desk with a cart FULL of pop.)

Customer: “I want to return this pop. I didn’t seem to need it.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t a brand we carry. You have to buy the pop here at our store in order to return it here.”

Customer: “I bought them here last week! I just want my d*** money back!”

Coworker: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have my d*** receipt. Don’t you have it on file?”

Coworker: “I apologize, but we don’t.”

(The customer immediately kicks over the whole cart of 30 bottles of pop and storms away. We all stand there in shock after, but on a positive note we all got to keep the pop that he had left behind!)

Khazar-khum posted:

Wonder if this STDH was there:

jodai posted:

That's pretty smart if whoever took over the property just called their business Hollywood wine and spirits.

/mu/ posted:

>first week at college
>everyone's outside of dorms making friends and stuff
>sit at table with a hookah and tons of people
>guy in front of me is playing guitar
>"do you know any neutral milk hotel"
>"yeah, i know all of their second album, do you know the words?"
>start singing king of carrot flowers together
>whole side of table joins in
>two kids in the back act confused
>"i've never even heard this song before"
>"me neither"
>everyone else smiles
>kind of weird but whatever

still the craziest that happened. we got all the way through Oh Comely before people started leaving

NAR posted:

Truck-Stop/Gas-Station

Pennsylvania

Note: I’m female, 25 and wearing the Star of David in memory of my late boyfriend.

This happens when I’m with a few friends at a rural truck-stop / gas-station.

Two of my friends are with me when I get into the place, and there are several locals.

The rather redneck-looking cashier looks at me, then says straight-out: “I don’t like your kind.”

It’s obvious what he means, s he’s been checking me out before he’s seen the necklace.

Thinking fast, I reply: “Females? Living? Humans?”

For a moment, the entire gas-station is quiet, then he gets it as the locals are all laughing and my friends and me make a break for it. Luckily, we get far enough away before he comes running after us with his rifle.

bor_ykoops posted:

/mu/ version of bohemian rhapsody:

Trebek posted:

Gus Hobbleton posted:

I didn't realize Jews were a persecuted class in Pennsylvania.

Gus Hobbleton posted:

I didn't realize Jews were a persecuted class in Pennsylvania.

quote:

Going Totally Off The Wall
Home Builder | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(I work for a company that builds homes and develops land. As per California law, we warranty our homes for a ten-year period after the house is bought. Our warranty covers structural defects.)

Me: “Warranty. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, my house has a structural defect. I want you to fix it.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Could you give me your address? And what exactly is the defect in question?”

Caller: “My address is [address].”

Me: “Okay, I see you in our system. Could you tell me the problem, and I will see what I can do about entering a ticket for you.”

Caller: “The walls are not strong enough. You have to send someone here to put in better walls.”

Me: “The walls are not strong enough? Are they bowing, or cracking?”

Caller: “No, the ones that are still standing are fine.”

Me: “The ones that are… still standing…?”

Caller: “Yes. I wanted to remodel to make my living room and kitchen one big room, but it was too expensive. I saw a demolition crew do wall removals on those home improvement shows, so I just got a chainsaw and cut the wall out myself.”

Me: “Okay… so you ‘remodeled?’”

Caller: “Yeah! But then my house caved in.”

Me: “… Ma’am, are you saying you cut down a load-bearing wall in your home with a chainsaw?”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t know it was load-bearing. But this is clearly a structural defect! The roof caved in, and I’ve been living here for 16 years! I could sue you for endangering my life all this time!”

Me: “Ma’am, it was not a structural defect.”

Caller: “How can you say that?! THE ROOF CAVED IN!”

Me: “Because you chopped down a load-bearing wall!”

Caller: “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT! I DESERVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE! IT WAS A STRUCTURAL DEFECT, AND I HAVE A WARRANTY!”

Me: “Your house was under warranty for 10 years. Your house is 16 years old. It was structurally sound until you made it structurally unsound, by CUTTING OUT A LOAD-BEARING WALL WITH A CHAINSAW.”

Caller: “YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! I’LL SUE! I’LL SUE YOU!” *click*

StealthArcher posted:

So if I'm pretty much reading this right, they just kept stolen pop.

Judge Tesla posted:

I can see that one happening, some people just don't know how to do DIY without flooding the house or breaking everything, chainsawing a wall down, is something I can believe someone doing, especially if you don't know its a load bearing one.

SpookyLizard posted:

I can't see someone chainsawing a wall down, if only because it's a terrible loving way to take out a wall, and a great way to break a chainsaw.

NotAlwaysWorking Unfiltered posted:

Office
USA
(It’s my third week at a new job and I overhear a coworker talking to her boss.)
Co-worker: I am so sick of these people calling in and saying OOOOOH, I HAVE DEPRESSION! There’s no such thing as depression and fibromyalgia. GET OFF YOUR LAZY A**ES AND COME TO WORK!
(I turn around immediately.)
Me: I was diagnosed with one of those imaginary conditions when I was 14 and the other when I was 24. You are NEVER going to say they don’t exist in my presence again.
(Neither person has spoken to me since.)

fullroundaction posted:

I don't know of a single office environment where someone who calls out of work "because they're depressed" won't be relentlessly mocked, fair or not (assuming I understand that STDH correctly). I'm just now realizing how lovely that's got to be.

fullroundaction posted:

I don't know of a single office environment where someone who calls out of work "because they're depressed" won't be relentlessly mocked, fair or not (assuming I understand that STDH correctly). I'm just now realizing how lovely that's got to be.

quote:

After the past few days I finally had enough of her. Today, not 3 hours ago I gave an Oscar winning speech in front of the whole house about how once my Dad is dead, I never want to see her again. I don't want her at my wedding, I don't want my kids to ever know her, I don't want to see her at my death bed. I hope one day she is on her death bed and wants me to visit her, so I can look her in the eye and say "there's no chair here, I can't sit down." I tell her I am appalled at her audacity to judge our grandma and everyone else in this family from some cloud high on up when she does nothing at all. I tell her that everyone else is pulling their weight through this difficult situation and she's just deadweight. I tell her she's not worth the bed she sleeps on. I tell her she is an entitled princess. She starts breaking down and crying and saying she's sorry and she'll change and she appreciates everything my dad did for her. I don't give a gently caress. I end my speech.

Then the most amazing thing happens.

My dad, who at this point is 5'10" and 100 lbs, probably a few days away from death, who drifts in and out of consciousness and isn't completely lucid a lot of the time, starts applauding. I wasn't even sure he was awake during all this. He just sits there and claps for a few minutes while me, my sister and my uncle watch. He sits up and tells my sister that she is stupid and thinks like a little girl. He says that his whole life he spent supporting her, and now he's dead. He said that if he were me, he would not want to have anything to do with her as well. He tells me that after he dies, I should leave and cut all ties with my sister. He tells my sister to take her half of the inheritance and go off and do whatever she wants to do. This also-Oscar-worthy speech goes on for a while and includes a mini-plot summary of The Godfather trilogy, his favorite movie, in which he compares me to Michael Corleone, the good smart son, and her to Sonny and Fredo, who bring shame to the family.

After so many days of being stressed and depressed and sleep deprived, this is just the funniest thing to me; I have to stop myself from laughing. It is so morbid, and yet the sight of my emaciated father lying in his deathbed clapping as though he's seen a particularly nice play and giving a speech that includes the Godfather is just the first thing I find funny in so many days.

Afterwards, my sister leaves. My two uncles, my aunt and I sit down and talk about what just happened. It turns out, unbeknownst to me, that after my mother died 4 years ago my father started confiding a lot of information to his brother, my uncle. Usually the topic of discussion was my sister. My father complained that his whole life revolved around making his daughter happy and that when his daughter was sad, she made it impossible for him to be happy. My uncle learned everything my sister did as well, which caused him to hate her as well. He told me "I can't stand to look at [my sister] in the face sometimes, I'm so angry." Actually, I learn that most everyone in our family hates my sister, they are just too nice to say anything to her face. My uncle tells me that he has been telling my dad to discipline my sister for years and says that he is happy that I yelled at her. He thanks me.