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Magnus Gallant posted:He's got his "nest egg" that's not really a nest egg that he can use to take the cert test though, so there's that. Is the "nest egg" the total combined value of "prices I've seen comics in my comic collection go for on eBay", because that would be pretty sweet
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Mar 6, 2014 19:38
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4th Asclepiadean posted:...Then again, this does mean that thissucks had a job.
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Mar 6, 2014 19:48
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Ursine Asylum posted:Is the "nest egg" the total combined value of "prices I've seen comics in my comic collection go for on eBay", because that would be pretty sweet No it's money he had left over from his student loans that he's still deferring payment on.
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Mar 6, 2014 19:49
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Magnus Gallant posted:No it's money he had left over from his student loans that he's still deferring payment on. Sorta gives a whole new meaning to the term "nest egg" knowing the species that hatches is capable of devouring it's parents.
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Mar 6, 2014 20:02
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So what'd you do today, Benny?
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Mar 6, 2014 21:13
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Aqua Bear posted:So what'd you do today, Benny? Let's change this to a game where we guess what Benny is doing. I am guessing he is at the local police department asking a very confused cop how he can check to find out if he is a registered sex offender because the internet asked.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:19
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Today he's sending out hand-written Thank You notes for women who visited his OKCupid.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:22
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Xenocides posted:Let's change this to a game where we guess what Benny is doing. hahahahaha all right. I think Benny is reading the wikipedia article on A Confederacy of Dunces because it's been referenced in this thread but he doesn't want to read the actual book.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:26
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He doesn't show up on the national sex offender register so can we just drop that? It's a weird thing to hope somebody sexually abused somebody else. For every sex abuser there's a victim, so stop being so loving goony about it.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:27
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The thing about Benny that I always love is just when you assume he's left the thread, he just makes it gold again. Isn't he supposed to get that call back from Target soon? What lies will Benny invent to explain messing this one up? Seers was a total debacle, did he tell them about Target if it wasn't on his resume? Would someone be that stupid? Benny is amazing, he's making me question my grip on reality.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:33
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Aqua Bear posted:hahahahaha all right. Oh God, I wanted to comment on this but just couldn't. It was on of those references where you name drop some acclaimed book they sometimes teach in school so that you sound well-read and smart but people see right through it and secretly think you're a human being because you obviously didn't read it. That's what Benny did thar.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:33
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crabrock posted:He doesn't show up on the national sex offender register so can we just drop that? Sometimes you just get caught jacking off in your car in a parking lot because your mom freaked out about you doing it in the house. Or so I hear.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:36
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Or you get busted pissing in public.
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Mar 6, 2014 21:38
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Benny did what I did today, which is nothing. I am on vacation however and am currently employed.
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Mar 6, 2014 22:43
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Benny you have never responded to me in this thread I don't think but I hope you read this. Benny Please Read These Words Part of what I did when I helped with hiring people was do quick internet searches to make sure nothing too terrible came up. The aim id you have on your SA profile is connected to your real name, it's the first thing that comes up on google. Also either your aim name or your blog name, I can't remember which, are connected to a few sites where you mention the fetish you wouldn't name earlier in the thread. It's not illegal so personally it's not something I would care about but I don't know how open minded the people interviewing you are. You need to keep your professional life separate from your private life. You have hopefully already gotten this advice but just in case not you need to have a completely unique email address to put on applications/resumes and it shouldn't be anything but some combination of your name. Don't mention your blog on your resume at all. I'm not trying to shame you and I really hope no one else does the same search and posts poo poo in this thread but this is something you need to address and would certainly explain why you get interviews but no offers after people have had a chance to check you out.
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Mar 7, 2014 00:58
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Queen Elizatits posted:Benny you have never responded to me in this thread I don't think but I hope you read this. This is something that came up much earlier on in the thread when Benny was first trying to get a job at a restaurant, and he kept mentioning the specific names of the businesses he was getting interviewed at (when they weren't chains). He did it a couple times after people kept warning him not to, and eventually caught on. I kind of agree with you, but I think people may not have said this out of fear that this will mean he'll abandon the thread completely.
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Mar 7, 2014 01:15
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the carts that are given us." - Gandalf Stormcrow, Assistant Manager
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Mar 7, 2014 02:02
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Can a virgin actually have a fetish?
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Mar 7, 2014 02:22
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I want to know what Benny's fetish is.
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Mar 7, 2014 02:44
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Anyone who deliberately excludes someone from a job search because of a fetish is kinda douchey. That said, I wouldn't have stuff about my fetish easily linked to my real name and my blog. Also, I want to know what the fetish is too.
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Mar 7, 2014 03:02
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Please tell me it's adult baby
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Mar 7, 2014 03:16
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Uncle Salty posted:Anyone who deliberately excludes someone from a job search because of a fetish is kinda douchey. No I completely agree with you and I'm sorry if I didn't word that strongly enough in my post, I think that type of discrimination should be illegal. What consenting adults do is their own business and again it wouldn't have been a barrier where I worked. However I currently live about an hour away from Benny and the culture is very different here. The problem you run into is business owners don't want "unsavory" things associated with their business that's why it's so important to keep your personal life and business life separate. It's also why I was pretty surprised that Benny made an AIM name specifically for SA but then went on to use it on a bunch of other sites. Like he had the right idea but then just said gently caress it. It's not a very exciting fetish and I'm not posting it because again it's his business, I just want him to have the best chance of finding a job.
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Mar 7, 2014 03:36
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Dbl post.
Cyberball 2072 fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Mar 7, 2014 |
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Mar 7, 2014 04:20
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Oh now you did it. Edit: There's enough stuff here to laugh at without posting that. Edit2: Thanks
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Mar 7, 2014 04:27
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natetimm posted:Can a virgin actually have a fetish? Internet virgins are loving amazing at inventing new weird poo poo to get horned by. There's probably a lot of words somebody smart could write about exposure to pornography and lack of exposure to reality causing this or something.
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Mar 7, 2014 11:15
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Actually, I'm going to remove this post because it's kind of mean. Just Google him yourself.
Anonymous Zebra fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Mar 7, 2014 |
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Mar 7, 2014 13:50
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Benny is easy to find but that isn't the point. (The point is he needs to check those findings for grammar and spelling)
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Mar 7, 2014 14:02
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Aqua Bear posted:Oh now you did it.  poo poo got real. .This is my first time stumbling into Something Awful's parallel gooniverse. I really hope that nobody ever has the misfortune of having them use you as a discussion topic. I really hope everyone can just observe, laugh internally and keep quiet. That site is loving mortifying. Please, nobody mention it, ever.Benny, any word from Olive Garden? cname fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Mar 7, 2014 |
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Mar 7, 2014 15:25
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Queen Elizatits posted:No I completely agree with you and I'm sorry if I didn't word that strongly enough in my post, I think that type of discrimination should be illegal. What consenting adults do is their own business and again it wouldn't have been a barrier where I worked. However I currently live about an hour away from Benny and the culture is very different here. The problem you run into is business owners don't want "unsavory" things associated with their business that's why it's so important to keep your personal life and business life separate. It's also why I was pretty surprised that Benny made an AIM name specifically for SA but then went on to use it on a bunch of other sites. Like he had the right idea but then just said gently caress it. Oh no way dude, you totally did not appear to be shaming Benny the S at all! I didn't mean to imply that you did. I do think that a good deal of hiring managers at places like he's applying to, though, in central California, wouldn't even blink at whatever Benny's into.Maybe, like, academia or corporate law might frown on openly posting all over the internet about how you want your mommy to catch you jerkin' it in the bedroom you share with your brother, but I doubt Target would. Maybe?
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Mar 7, 2014 15:34
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Hey, if it wasn't for them, child-rapist Aatrek would still be here. At least they confirmed that Benny is in fact, not a sex offender.
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Mar 7, 2014 15:35
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Sweet Jesus, Bizarro SA's Benny thread is just as old as this one....
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Mar 7, 2014 17:21
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Looks like I missed something. Benny, I'd just like to point out how much you just ignore what people have told you. Example: booshi on Jan 5 posted:Benny, you won't get a professorship for a master's. The most you may get is teaching classes at a community college, but even then that may be tough to get with many PhDs in humanities in the market. Even if a terminal master's program accepted you (though, given your lackluster performance in undergrad and inability to hold a job it's highly unlikely), you'd be pissing money down the drain for nothing. Benny the Snake on Jan 16 posted:I spoke with my advisor. He did tell me that with a 3.0 I wouldn't be able to get into a competitive program, but Cal Poly Pomona accepts 3.0 students into their masters program. He told me that realistically with a Master's I could teach at the community college level but for the university level I'd need a PhD. I've put off my goal of writing for a living since I have no interest in doing it at all and I haven't written in months. Maybe I should just kill it altogether, I don't know. But for now, I'm going to find employment. My grandmother offered to lend me money towards a car but I won't do so until I have a means to pay her back. So first I'll find a job and then get a car. Once I have a car, I can broaden my search into finding a better job. I was actually contacted a few months ago by a tutoring company which was interested in hiring me but I'd need my own transportation. When I get a car, I'll get into tutoring and from there I can see whether I'm cut out for a teaching position. Right now, grad school and teaching is a pipe dream and nothing more. Good thing you followed up with your advisor on that one, sure got a lot of new information. To put this in perspective, Benny, I have been on medical leave for 1 week today from graduate school. In this week I have started a course on Coursera in preparation for taking it in the Fall and completed 3 weeks worth of work and started picking up freelance work, making just under $1k this week. I am on medical mental health leave and can still manage myself. What's your excuse? e: Also got my taxes filed. booshi fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Mar 7, 2014 |
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Mar 7, 2014 18:12
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booshi posted:Looks like I missed something. Can you imagine hiring Benny for freelance ANYTHING and get back the level of work he produces? Don't give him ideas.
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Mar 7, 2014 18:30
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cname posted:
This post made me care enough to look and loving ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cab fare, jesus christ.
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Mar 7, 2014 18:38
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I haven't looked at this thread in a week and when I saw so many new posts I thought it was because Benny had gotten a job and everyone was all excited. How naive of me.
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Mar 7, 2014 18:39
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That drat Satyr posted:Can you imagine hiring Benny for freelance ANYTHING and get back the level of work he produces? Don't give him ideas. True. I was also thinking of mentioning Mechanical Turk to him since you can make ~$20/hr if you just pass a test for transcribing audio. But, I don't think Benny could handle that either.
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Mar 7, 2014 18:49
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I love this thread. When Benny first started it a year ago I was in the process of graduating from grad school and applying for jobs. It's been with me all these months as I've started working, like a living scrapbook. Thank you Benny.
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Mar 7, 2014 18:57
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Didn't notice he won the honor of Thunderdome loser, go you Benny!
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Mar 7, 2014 19:09
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Hahahahahaha. He is never going to post in this thread again (although I'm sure he'll keep posting on SA). Why would he tell people these embarrassing stories?
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Mar 7, 2014 19:38
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So in reading this monster of a thread, filled with sadness and really awful creative writing, I could only think of one thing: Why can't Benny go apply at like, the loving community college and get certified in like medical transcription or STNA work or something? Get a student loan and learn/develop a skill. I imagine Benny already has loans from where ever he got his English degree and those, for some reason, don't seem to be an issue. What is he doing about his financial stuff anyway? Are his parents paying for everything? If he got a full ride to college then just gently caress everything. Someone give Benny a writing prompt outside of Thunderdome so he doesn't have that "anxiety" of competition weighing over him. I want to see if his creative writing is actually as bad as mine was in fourth grade.
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Mar 7, 2014 20:30
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