More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›1756 »

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

mewse posted:

So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

One two three four five? That's amazing! That's the same combination I have on my luggage! Prepare Spaceball One for immediate departure.

And change the combination on my luggage!

For more pants-on-head retardedness:

My company is requiring me to visit the "eSeperation" web portal to fill out yet another form regarding my resignation and make it official. That in itself is pretty funny considering everything this company does has its own web portal on its extranet, but where it gets :shobon:

is that I tried putting in my manager for where it asks for "reporting manager" and my submission fails because my manager an I have the same rank within the company (we are both principal consultants, but I work for him because this is his customer and I'm deploying on his contract).

I realize that after a year here, I apparently have no idea who my reporting manager is, so I ask my manager who it is.

He has no idea either.

I asked HR and they have no idea.

It looks like my outgoing process is going to be as big of a clusterfuck as my onboarding process. :toot:

I'm going to give it one more day and then gently caress it right off. If someone doesn't approach me to help me fix this, on my last day I'm leaving my badge, RSA token and laptop with my manager (who apparently isn't my reporting manager) and loving right the gently caress out of here.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 17:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 05:18

The Electronaut: May 10, 2009

Agrikk posted:

For more pants-on-head retardedness:

My company is requiring me to visit the "eSeperation" web portal to fill out yet another form regarding my resignation and make it official. That in itself is pretty funny considering everything this company does has its own web portal on its extranet, but where it gets is that I tried putting in my manager for where it asks for "reporting manager" and my submission fails because my manager an I have the same rank within the company (we are both principal consultants, but I work for him because this is his customer and I'm deploying on his contract).

I realize that after a year here, I apparently have no idea who my reporting manager is, so I ask my manager who it is.

He has no idea either.

I asked HR and they have no idea.

It looks like my outgoing process is going to be as big of a clusterfuck as my onboarding process.

I'm going to give it one more day and then gently caress it right off. If someone doesn't approach me to help me fix this, on my last day I'm leaving my badge, RSA token and laptop with my manager (who apparently isn't my reporting manager) and loving right the gently caress out of here.

Check in OWA your own contact card, who you report to is pulled from AD there, same person? Also, they'll schedule an exit interview that they don't show up to even though it is mandatory they will also mail you a form to sign promising notify break their NDA which promptly got fed to the paper shredder.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:02

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Set the highest person up the reporting chain that you can as your manager.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:04

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Volmarias posted:

Set the highest person up the reporting chain that you can as your manager.

Oh holy crap! I'm totally claiming the CEO as my reporting manager.

The CEO of a 160,000 employee company gets an email for an exit interview for some random guy twelve thousand miles away...

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:09

Verizian: Dec 18, 2004; The spiky one.

Agrikk posted:

Oh holy crap! I'm totally claiming the CEO as my reporting manager.

The CEO of a 160,000 employee company gets an email for an exit interview for some random guy twelve thousand miles away...

If you can, set him as default manager for any new hires or anyone without one currently. That's not illegal right?

# ? Mar 13, 2014 18:11

Alereon: Feb 6, 2004; Dehumanize yourself and face to Trumpshed; College Slice

dennyk posted:

Help-desk and some junior IT positions might not be exempt, depending on what the person's exact duties are, but almost all senior sysadmins fall under the FLSA administrative exemption.

System administrators are non-exempt service delivery workers. An exempt administrative employee may have a job title of "senior system administrator" but it would be the additional non-sysadmin responsibilities they take on that make them exempt.

I'm not trying to be argumentative I just don't want anyone to let their employer take advantage of them because they think it's okay or that they have to take it. As always IANAL, do your own research for your own unique situation, and sometimes being right is more trouble than its worth. If they are already screwing you though, do your research, grow some backbone, schedule a meeting where you ask them why they think compliance with the FLSA is optional, and remind them of how much it will cost to fight you in court AND pay back overtime to their employees when they lose.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:02

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Wait, are you saying that someone who is supposedly just doing network support all day long can't be held exempt from OT? I am kind of confused by all this.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:07

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

AlternateAccount posted:

Wait, are you saying that someone who is supposedly just doing network support all day long can't be held exempt from OT? I am kind of confused by all this.

code:

#define EXECUTIVE_WORK "Whatever we want it to be."

    if (Employee_Is_Salaried)
    {
        if ((Weekly_Pay => 455) || (JOB == EXECUTIVE_WORK ))
        {
            Exempt_From_OT();
        }

    }

    void Exempt_From_OT()
    {
        while(1)
	{
            Work_Employee_To_Death();
            Collect_Massive_Bonuses();
	}
    }

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:14

Caconym: Feb 12, 2013

Sir_Substance posted:

I'm absolutely staggered that the guy who came up with this didn't think somewhere in his horrible trainwreck of thought to remove the wrong password limit on the account so this couldn't happen.

We have an account like that. It's for logging ambulances onto the domain so they can get data from the fleet managment and dispatch systems. All the ambulances use the same account to log in, so the limit was removed after a severity 1A incident when a new unit was configured with a wrong password and locked 40 ambulances out of the system. :downsgun:

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:21

Qtotonibudinibudet: Nov 7, 2011; Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki

AlternateAccount posted:

Wait, are you saying that someone who is supposedly just doing network support all day long can't be held exempt from OT? I am kind of confused by all this.

This is what I do, pretty much, and I am not exempt, despite being salaried and making over $455 a week. On the other hand, I almost never work overtime. When I worked a previous job that had some executive duties (project management, which I guess counts) in addition to technical support, I was exempt.

In practice, I'm pretty sure companies do whatever the gently caress they want, and that I'm non-exempt is more a quirk of how I'm classified by payroll, since our department functions differently than most of the company.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:27

Helushune: Oct 5, 2011

Things pissing me off today: 1) People using system restore and rolling all of our laptops back before they were joined to our domain. It's more of an inconvenience than anything but it's still annoying. 2) Our entire Mitel 5000 database became corrupt somehow and our phones are all messed up! It's going to be one hell of an afternoon.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:52

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

I am legally exempt from a ton of generally required labour laws/regulations, but if the firm I was working for tried to tell me that they weren't going to pay me overtime and/or that I had to work 80 hours a week, I would either walk out or get a new job as quickly as possible and then walk out.

Even though the law doesn't necessarily require that they give you overtime/etc, there is enough demand in this industry still that you can force them to pay it to you if you have at least minimal experience/qualifications.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:52

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Here is the federal exemption laws for Technologists and Technicians:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/fairpay/fs17e_computer.pdf

The sum of it is this:

Are you salaried and make more than 455$ a week? You are hosed.
Are you hourly and make more than 27.63$/hr? You are hosed.

Do you do any systems analysts/programming/software engineering? You are hosed again.

Basically if you touch a computer as your primary job, you are hosed hosed hosed.

FlapYoJacks fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Mar 13, 2014

# ? Mar 13, 2014 19:59

Rhymenoserous: May 23, 2008

Lets form a union. Someone find a way to make our acronym "NEEDFUL".

# ? Mar 13, 2014 20:43

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Rhymenoserous posted:

Lets form a union. Someone find a way to make our acronym "NEEDFUL".

NorthAmerican European Electronic Data Finagaling Union Labour?

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:13

HalloKitty: Sep 30, 2005; Adjust the bass and let the Alpine blast

Rhymenoserous posted:

Lets form a union. Someone find a way to make our acronym "NEEDFUL".

Nimble Engineers of Electronic Data Frantically Use Liquor

Not really a union name, but it was something

HalloKitty fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Mar 13, 2014

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:38

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

I was going to try for YOTJ and got as far as 'Of Technology Janitors' but holy gently caress finding the 'Y' was impossible.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:38

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Caged posted:

I was going to try for YOTJ and got as far as 'Of Technology Janitors' but holy gently caress finding the 'Y' was impossible.

Yooniun.

# ? Mar 13, 2014 21:43

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Ye Olde Technologie Journeymenne

:yotj:

# ? Mar 13, 2014 23:09

GOOCHY: Sep 17, 2003; In an interstellar burst I'm back to save the universe!

Volmarias posted:

Ye Olde Technologie Journeymenne

Love it!!

Edit: Why isn't there an IT union? We're a trade just like anything else. I think the unfortunate answer is that a lot of these neckbeards are Libertarian fantasy-landers.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:07

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

GOOCHY posted:

Love it!!

Edit: Why isn't there an IT union? We're a trade just like anything else. I think the unfortunate answer is that a lot of these neckbeards are Libertarian fantasy-landers.

There's a lot of reasons. My favorite one is the idea that the field is supposed to be a meritocracy, but unions make it difficult to get rid of anyone useless. Joke's on them, the bloated useless parasites are still there.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 00:29

keseph: Oct 21, 2010; beep bawk boop bawk

evobatman posted:

Someone pulled ANOTHER Latitude E6420 out of a locked docking station!

How does someone even do that? Did they tear the dock in half or what? Every single possibility I can think of demands a picture.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 02:47

Alereon: Feb 6, 2004; Dehumanize yourself and face to Trumpshed; College Slice

ratbert90 posted:

Here is the federal exemption laws for Technologists and Technicians:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/fairpay/fs17e_computer.pdf

The sum of it is this:

Are you salaried and make more than 455$ a week? You are hosed.
Are you hourly and make more than 27.63$/hr? You are hosed.

Do you do any systems analysts/programming/software engineering? You are hosed again.

Basically if you touch a computer as your primary job, you are hosed hosed hosed.

Remember that you must meet all of the above requirements to be overtime-exempt. If you are a coder, a system analyst, a database architect, or senior enough to have management responsibility you are exempt. If you keep production systems running, fix problems, or are otherwise a cog in the machine you get paid overtime, even if your job title contains the words "analyst", "engineer", "administrator", or "executive." In the event of a disagreement on whether you are overtime-exempt your employer must prove in court that you "plainly and unmistakably" fit within the exemption, that is a very risky proposition and I could see an employer being willing to cave rather than face that. Like I say every drat post, IANAL, only you know if fighting a current or former employer makes any sense for you.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 03:03

Ynglaur: Oct 9, 2013; The Malta Conference, anyone?

GOOCHY posted:

Love it!!

Edit: Why isn't there an IT union? We're a trade just like anything else. I think the unfortunate answer is that a lot of these neckbeards are Libertarian fantasy-landers.

I remember being in high school in the late 90's asking this exact question. At the time, everyone was making great money fixing Y2K issues. Unions are there for when things aren't going well. It probably doesn't help that unions continue to decline in influence and power, at least in the United States. Personally, I think they missed a huge opportunity.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 03:07

Cenodoxus: Mar 29, 2012; while [[ true ]] ; do
��pour()
done

Volmarias posted:

There's a lot of reasons. My favorite one is the idea that the field is supposed to be a meritocracy, but unions make it difficult to get rid of anyone useless. Joke's on them, the bloated useless parasites are still there.

Don't forget the assumption by upper management that IT employees are expendable and if we start to demand too much they can hire some remote contractors to do the needful for 1/10th the cost.

Plumbers, auto workers, electricians, metalworkers, etc. have the benefit of needing to be on-site to do all their work. While there certainly are some roles in IT that require hands-on, a good portion of the rest are done with one's rear end firmly planted in an ergonomic chair.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 03:12

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Cenodoxus posted:

Don't forget the assumption by upper management that IT employees are expendable and if we start to demand too much they can hire some remote contractors to do the needful for 1/10th the cost.

Plumbers, auto workers, electricians, metalworkers, etc. have the benefit of needing to be on-site to do all their work. While there certainly are some roles in IT that require hands-on, a good portion of the rest are done with one's rear end firmly planted in an ergonomic chair.

The company I work at has an overnight shift outsourced to India. Reputedly, they are paying $9k for 16 people for a year.

Every morning, day shift comes in and cleans up all of these messes they make, but it still ends up somehow being cost effective.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 03:25

SubjectVerbObject: Jul 27, 2009

The VP that was hired at my old company before I left came from some consulting company that had a knowledge base focus. Their point was that each tier could fix 80% of the issues, and the first tier was the knowledge base. So tier 1 is look it up on the web, tier 2 is for people who can't figure out how to look it up on the web and for real problems, which get escalated, etc, with each tier closing 80% of the issues. As each tier solves problems, the solution gets put in the knowledge base and then even more problems get solved by a web search. This is how you use low paid, low skill workers to solve most of your issues and save your company millions.

At least in theory. In reality, my new company gets a lot of business from people that don't want to pay $$$$$ to be told to do a web search first.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 03:33

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Alereon posted:

Remember that you must meet all of the above requirements to be overtime-exempt. If you are a coder, a system analyst, a database architect, or senior enough to have management responsibility you are exempt. If you keep production systems running, fix problems, or are otherwise a cog in the machine you get paid overtime, even if your job title contains the words "analyst", "engineer", "administrator", or "executive." In the event of a disagreement on whether you are overtime-exempt your employer must prove in court that you "plainly and unmistakably" fit within the exemption, that is a very risky proposition and I could see an employer being willing to cave rather than face that. Like I say every drat post, IANAL, only you know if fighting a current or former employer makes any sense for you.

So what you are saying is if I made 920$ a week, but didn't do any management poo poo, but did work on computers all day, I wouldn't be exempt? I am trying to find hard data on this, as I am salaried and sometimes work 60+ hours a week.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 05:29

evol262: Nov 30, 2010; #!/usr/bin/perl

ratbert90 posted:

So what you are saying is if I made 920$ a week, but didn't do any management poo poo, but did work on computers all day, I wouldn't be exempt? I am trying to find hard data on this, as I am salaried and sometimes work 60+ hours a week.

You're exempt if your contract says you are, safely. Yes, HR/legal may cave if you dispute it. But you're probably in an at-will state, and they'll find a reason to fire you and find someone else who isn't quite so picky about labor laws (or rewrite the position so it barely fits).

Ask yourself: do you want overtime because it makes 60 hours a week more tolerable? It doesn't. No point in making money you don't have time to spend.

Do you feel underpaid? Ask for a raise, or find another job.

Overworked? Bring it up with your boss. Get a new job if it doesn't improve.

Only do it occasionally? Love the job? Have a good relationship with your boss? Pursue getting overtime.

Labor disputes are going to make you a problem employee, even if it's not ethical, legal, or fair.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 05:38

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Just meticulously record the overtime you work and sue them for the full amount after you leave.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 05:41

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

keseph posted:

How does someone even do that? Did they tear the dock in half or what? Every single possibility I can think of demands a picture.

They break the metal tabs in the bottom frame of the laptop, so it can never be docked again.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 08:43

Sir_Substance: Dec 13, 2013

evobatman posted:

They break the metal tabs in the bottom frame of the laptop, so it can never be docked again.

Of course, the devils advocate would suggest that that's a lovely dock design. some kind of robust metal connector that cant be forced out without tearing out the underside of the laptop might be a better design. I've also seen designs that are more like a super-complex USB that slots in the side.

Breakable clips on the underside is either lazy or genius engineering, depending on whether you want to sell lots of docking clamp repair services or not.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 09:10

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Sir_Substance posted:

Of course, the devils advocate would suggest that that's a lovely dock design. some kind of robust metal connector that cant be forced out without tearing out the underside of the laptop might be a better design. I've also seen designs that are more like a super-complex USB that slots in the side.

Breakable clips on the underside is either lazy or genius engineering, depending on whether you want to sell lots of docking clamp repair services or not.

They're not breakable clips, they're part of the chassis and removable rear cover.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 09:22

Sir_Substance: Dec 13, 2013

anthonypants posted:

They're not breakable clips, they're part of the chassis and removable rear cover.

We're talking about a docking system that looks like this, right:

If that's what we're talking about, that's not exactly robust. Plastic design, clips the size of thumb tacks.

This is better:

That recessed-hdmi looking thing is the dock connector, it slides about half an inch into the side of the laptop. The laptop is prevented from sliding or twisting by metal spikes that go about the same distance up.

You could make it more secure if you tried, I guess. Certainly that top design seems to have been made on the premise of "This is a data connector, not a structural component, anyone who breaks it is a fuckwit". That's fine I guess. You could aim to make a connector that would robustly survive a trip off the side of a desk, but it probably wouldn't be worth the cost and for all I know if you tested it you might find the results of keeping the dock coupled to be worse then letting it rip small holes in the underside of the laptop as it separates.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 11:44

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sir_Substance posted:

We're talking about a docking system that looks like this, right:

If that's what we're talking about, that's not exactly robust. Plastic design, clips the size of thumb tacks.

It's robust enough to break the metal inside of the laptop where the clips attach.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 12:59

Sir_Substance: Dec 13, 2013

evobatman posted:

It's robust enough to break the metal inside of the laptop where the clips attach.

So...robust enough to break?

:confused:

# ? Mar 14, 2014 13:37

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

Sir_Substance posted:

So...robust enough to break?

He is saying that it breaks the laptop if you try to remove it.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 14:01

UFOTacoMan: Sep 22, 2005; Thanks easter bunny!
bok bok!

At my old job I was on salary and exempt from overtime but the option was there to recoup overtime hours worked by leaving early etc. which sounds OK in theory. The problem with that is it was always hard to leave early and so you just end up working a lot.

At my new job I'm hourly and not exempt from overtime and I very much enjoy getting paid for additional time that I spend working. Though I do miss the flexibility that not punching a time clock gives you.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 14:03

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

GOOCHY posted:

Love it!!

Edit: Why isn't there an IT union? We're a trade just like anything else. I think the unfortunate answer is that a lot of these neckbeards are Libertarian fantasy-landers.

I think part of the problem is how disparate IT department sizes/responsibilities are. I know not everybody is going to join the union, but I think it's harder to hammer out a sort of blanket statement covering IT workers than it is for welders or autoworkers.

Plus there's the whole startup/contracting side of things.

Not to say it wouldn't be desirable or cool, but I just think it would be very hard to come up with something that didn't miss a lot of people who fall under that umbrella or end up so broad as to be useless.

Inspector_666 fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Mar 14, 2014

# ? Mar 14, 2014 14:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 05:18

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

UFOTofuTacoCat posted:

At my old job I was on salary and exempt from overtime but the option was there to recoup overtime hours worked by leaving early etc. which sounds OK in theory. The problem with that is it was always hard to leave early and so you just end up working a lot.

At my new job I'm hourly and not exempt from overtime and I very much enjoy getting paid for additional time that I spend working. Though I do miss the flexibility that not punching a time clock gives you.

I spent a Saturday and Sunday in the office working on stuff that can't be done during M-F, basically two whole 6+ hour days. So I asked if I could take day off in exchange a few weeks later, because I know other people flex time out.

It was approved but I was told "since I treat my salaried job like I'm an hourly employee", it wouldn't happen in the future.

I must have not stayed 2 hours late or came in 2 hours early a bunch of times lately to do things like wiring cleanup, switch moves, ISP cutovers...

My boss rolls in at 8:30 and does jack poo poo all day, then stays at his desk to 6:30 because he doesn't want to go home to his stupid family and then claims to work at home until 11:00pm every night. He's so full of poo poo.

# ? Mar 14, 2014 14:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›1756 »