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Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

duckmaster posted:

Current theories

  • Terrorism
  • Aliens
  • Suicide
  • Shot down
  • Time portal
  • Aircraft never actually existed
  • Parallel universe
  • Lost and crashed
  • Fire
  • Hitler
  • Godzilla
  • Nuclear meltdown
  • Industrial sabotage
  • Lizard people
  • The Jews
  • Banks
  • Elvis Presley
  • Mechanical failure
  • Flew to the moon
  • Black holes
  • Aircraft became sentient
  • The call is coming from within the house
  • Equipment failure
  • Trapped in plane crash factory please send help
  • Landed at another airfield
  • Crashed into mountains
  • Bigfoot
  • Michael J Fox
  • Viral marketing

I don't think we can rule any of these out, except possibly "fire" and "equipment failure" because let's be honest they sound a bit far fetched.

Jizz

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PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

quote:

but the satellite can tell in a very broad way what region the blips are coming from and adjusts the angle of its antenna to be ready to receive message in case the ACARS sends them.

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK
Excellent point, added to the list

atomicthumbs
Dec 26, 2010


We're in the business of extending man's senses.

I am a licensed amateur radio operator and am qualified to confirm that this is how it works

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

Wandle Cax posted:

Perhaps you could tell us all how the satellite works three olive? if you know more than this "expert"?

I'm no expert, someone on that Airliners thread posted:


airliner guy posted:

InMarSat must have used signal travel time from the aircraft to/from that satellite to estimate its distance and create the arcs (in reality a complete circle as shown on SoCalGeo's invaluable maps).

Any further west along one of the arcs and the AOR-E satellite would have detected the ping too, and we'd be able to resolve the aircraft's position into one of two possible points rather than an arc. Ditto for a position further east, where the POR bird would have picked it up.

Thus, the aircraft landing in Iran is not possible unless the SATCOM pings were either shut down while the aircraft was still flying (e.g. the infamous E/E bay breaker theory) or there is such a long interval between pings that the aircraft could travel from a location on the arcs to Iran before the next scheduled ping.

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

duckmaster posted:

Current theories

  • Terrorism
  • Aliens
  • Suicide
  • Shot down
  • Time portal
  • Aircraft never actually existed
  • Parallel universe
  • Lost and crashed
  • Fire
  • Hitler
  • Godzilla
  • Nuclear meltdown
  • Industrial sabotage
  • Lizard people
  • The Jews
  • Banks
  • Elvis Presley
  • Mechanical failure
  • Flew to the moon
  • Black holes
  • Aircraft became sentient
  • The call is coming from within the house
  • Equipment failure
  • Trapped in plane crash factory please send help
  • Landed at another airfield
  • Crashed into mountains
  • Bigfoot
  • Michael J Fox
  • Viral marketing
  • Flew right next to another plane so it looked like a single, twice as big plane to the radar. As long as they picked a really noisy plane the pilots would never notice at night.
  • Jizz

I don't think we can rule any of these out, except possibly "fire" and "equipment failure" because let's be honest they sound a bit far fetched.

North Korea

FADEtoBLACK
Jan 26, 2007
Don't forget China! Really, just add every bad guy from the Clancy novels and we'll be covered.

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

It occurred to me that they cannot be a live all this time without water or food. So if they are in the ocean, they can not likely survive. If they landed and are being held, someone must be feeding them. It's interesting to think what they must being going through. The idea that they could be looking at their captors right now, and we are still guessing after 9 days, is frustrating.

This is maybe the most dramatic real-world event to happen in my lifetime. It's not as shocking and sudden as 9/11, but there is a totally real possibility that something like that is about to happen. Imagine if we had all known about the high-jackings in 2001, and then watched the NYC attacks happen shortly after.

hofnar
Dec 27, 2008

by sebmojo
glad that occurred to you, you might be on to something

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

PleasureKevin posted:

It occurred to me that they cannot be a live all this time without water or food. So if they are in the ocean, they can not likely survive. If they landed and are being held, someone must be feeding them. It's interesting to think what they must being going through. The idea that they could be looking at their captors right now, and we are still guessing after 9 days, is frustrating.

This is maybe the most dramatic real-world event to happen in my lifetime. It's not as shocking and sudden as 9/11, but there is a totally real possibility that something like that is about to happen. Imagine if we had all known about the high-jackings in 2001, and then watched the NYC attacks happen shortly after.

The human body can survive approx 3-5 days without water and up to 8 weeks without food (provided they have adequate water; 10-12 days with limited water is more likely). Non-budget airlines in SE Asia tend to give passengers a bottle of drinking water when they get on the flight so many passengers would have had that, and it's likely that if the plane has somehow landed in the sea the crew would have followed training procedures and thrown packages of bottled water out of the aircraft before it sank. If the plane landed on land they may have had time to take food as well.

There are ways to collect drinking water from rain in an open boat, although if it's not raining that's going to be a problem. There are complicated ways to collect water from condensation on land although this is generally considered a waste of time if you don't have adequate food (as it uses more energy to set up than you can actually get back).

If they are being fed the food on the aircraft should be sufficient for 3-5 days for all the passengers (including personal snacks stolen from luggage and so on) if rationed correctly. If they are being fed from an outside source then they should be able to survive virtually indefinitely on approx 250 grams of rice per person per day. That means they will need 60kg of rice per day, although if they're being held as hostages they likely wouldn't be given that much; Viet Cong soldiers regularly lived on 100 grams per day and supplemented it with salted fish when they needed extra energy.

So you could feed 239 people for a good few weeks on a truckload of rice. In China buying a truckload of rice isn't going to raise any eyebrows whatsoever.

Also if they're not being fed they could eat each other. The Argentinians in that plane that crashed in the Andes survived for two months on cannibalism.

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum

PleasureKevin posted:

It occurred to me that they cannot be a live all this time without water or food. So if they are in the ocean, they can not likely survive. If they landed and are being held, someone must be feeding them. It's interesting to think what they must being going through. The idea that they could be looking at their captors right now, and we are still guessing after 9 days, is frustrating.

There'd be little reason to keep the passengers alive unless you wanted to use them as leverage - which seems unlikely this long after the flight went missing. It takes space to house them and supplies to keep them alive - things which may draw unwanted attention - plus there's always the risk that they will organise against you.

No official sources are talking about even a remote possibility that the passengers are still alive - not even the sources who are saying it's unlikely that the plane crashed into the ocean.

Yeah, a "missing" airliner is a source of concern but sheer length of time since it vanished has given nations throughout the world to formulate plans for what they're going to do if it suddenly appears in their airspace.

By the way, healthy adults can survive significantly longer than a week without food if they have water but a commercial airliner is probably going to be carrying passengers who can't survive without food and/or medication for any length of time.

Lolie fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Mar 16, 2014

atomicthumbs
Dec 26, 2010


We're in the business of extending man's senses.

PleasureKevin posted:

It occurred to me that they cannot be a live all this time without water or food. So if they are in the ocean, they can not likely survive. If they landed and are being held, someone must be feeding them. It's interesting to think what they must being going through.

yeah, it's pretty amazing to think about humans beings, who require food, just like us — I require food and enjoy eating it, and have sympathy with my fellow humans

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

atomicthumbs posted:

yeah, it's pretty amazing to think about humans beings, who require food, just like us — I require food and enjoy eating it, and have sympathy with my fellow humans

I also like food and having travelled extensively in SE Asia the cuisine in some of these countries is interesting and very tasty! I certainly hope the terrorists are helping their hostage passengers experience this wonderful culture, and maybe even sharing some of their culture themselves! If the terrorists are reading this maybe they could organise cooking schools, lectures on cuisine etc so the passengers don't get bored?

I hope they can try things like Pad Thai and Lok Lak and Kung Pao because those are my favourites


edit: Oh wait I've just realised most of the passengers are south east Asian/Chinese anyway and the others have obviously been to Malaysia so they should have tried this stuff already. It'll probably just be rice crackers and severe beatings for dinner then.

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

They'll be eating Chinese (people).

maxidious
Sep 25, 2007

Meh

duckmaster posted:

The human body can survive approx 3-5 days without water and up to 8 weeks without food (provided they have adequate water; 10-12 days with limited water is more likely). Non-budget airlines in SE Asia tend to give passengers a bottle of drinking water when they get on the flight so many passengers would have had that, and it's likely that if the plane has somehow landed in the sea the crew would have followed training procedures and thrown packages of bottled water out of the aircraft before it sank. If the plane landed on land they may have had time to take food as well.

There are ways to collect drinking water from rain in an open boat, although if it's not raining that's going to be a problem. There are complicated ways to collect water from condensation on land although this is generally considered a waste of time if you don't have adequate food (as it uses more energy to set up than you can actually get back).

If they are being fed the food on the aircraft should be sufficient for 3-5 days for all the passengers (including personal snacks stolen from luggage and so on) if rationed correctly. If they are being fed from an outside source then they should be able to survive virtually indefinitely on approx 250 grams of rice per person per day. That means they will need 60kg of rice per day, although if they're being held as hostages they likely wouldn't be given that much; Viet Cong soldiers regularly lived on 100 grams per day and supplemented it with salted fish when they needed extra energy.

So you could feed 239 people for a good few weeks on a truckload of rice. In China buying a truckload of rice isn't going to raise any eyebrows whatsoever.

Also if they're not being fed they could eat each other. The Argentinians in that plane that crashed in the Andes survived for two months on cannibalism.

I am not okay with eating airplane food for a week, I'd rather starve to death so that's that.

Niwrad
Jul 1, 2008

Wouldn't cell phones on the plane by passengers be able to provide some information? Don't many have built-in GPS? And wouldn't a passenger send out an e-mail or something about the flight if it was really flying 7 hours into nowhere?

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011




pilot cures jet leg with one weird trick.


he even spelled out "unidentified"


brave

Niwrad posted:

Wouldn't cell phones on the plane by passengers be able to provide some information? Don't many have built-in GPS? And wouldn't a passenger send out an e-mail or something about the flight if it was really flying 7 hours into nowhere?

good idea, i'll ring my mate who's on the flight and tell him to call for help. ah poo poo, i get no reception out here.

PleasureKevin fucked around with this message at 09:50 on Mar 16, 2014

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

PleasureKevin posted:

pilot cures jet leg with one weird trick.

Is that when your leg falls asleep?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

maxidious posted:

I am not okay with eating airplane food for a week, I'd rather starve to death so that's that.

Long ago (when they served you meals on domestic flights) I had a cheese omelet on a morning LA to Orlando flight.

Literally one of the worst things I have ever eaten to this day.

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum

Duckmaster posted:

Non-budget airlines in SE Asia tend to give passengers a bottle of drinking water when they get on the flight so many passengers would have had that, and it's likely that if the plane has somehow landed in the sea the crew would have followed training procedures and thrown packages of bottled water out of the aircraft before it sank.

A 777 isn't going to "somehow land" in the open ocean. If you suspend your disbelief enough to imagine that it's a survivable incident, then the crew would be much more worried about deploying the life rafts (which carry emergency devices to signal location) and getting passengers off the aircraft than throwing out bottles of water. Life-rafts carry emergency rations in addition to a ton of other poo poo.

https://www.winslowliferaft.com/fars.html

Wandle Cax
Dec 15, 2006

Niwrad posted:

Wouldn't cell phones on the plane by passengers be able to provide some information? Don't many have built-in GPS? And wouldn't a passenger send out an e-mail or something about the flight if it was really flying 7 hours into nowhere?

Not if they were dead, no. The hijackers may have depressurized the cabin causing all the passengers to die.

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

Lolie posted:

A 777 isn't going to "somehow land" in the open ocean. If you suspend your disbelief enough to imagine that it's a survivable incident, then the crew would be much more worried about deploying the life rafts (which carry emergency devices to signal location) and getting passengers off the aircraft than throwing out bottles of water. Life-rafts carry emergency rations in addition to a ton of other poo poo.

https://www.winslowliferaft.com/fars.html

Yes but what if they land on an aircraft carrier or a whale or another plane

another plane... of existence

PleasureKevin
Jan 2, 2011

Terrorists attacked the plane and planned to use it for 9/11 With a Vengeance, the captain depressurized the cabin and slapped in a random course for Australia before passing out, thus preventing a greater loss of life.

Fumble
Sep 4, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 24 days!
So based on one of the pilots having a flight sim set up at his house, and the series of erratic manurers they now think the plane made after the plane signed off from the Malaysian air traffic control. I am firmly placing my bets on the last thing they find stored on the in-flight voice recorder is "Dude, hold my beer and check out this sweet move I have been practising."

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum

Niwrad posted:

Wouldn't cell phones on the plane by passengers be able to provide some information? Don't many have built-in GPS? And wouldn't a passenger send out an e-mail or something about the flight if it was really flying 7 hours into nowhere?

You're not near any cell phone towers when you're flying over open ocean (your phone pings towers which is why you can tell where it was located at a given time if it was in range of towers - the more towers it's in range of, the more precisely you can determine where it was). The technology exists to allow both data and voice calls at cruising altitude but it's a capability which would almost certainly be able to be disabled from the cockpit (pilots being unable to disable things in the cabin have resulted in nasty accidents in the past) and which not every carrier has adopted.

When you're using GPS, you're not transmitting to a satellite - your phone is a passive receiver of the signals.

More info here.

https://www.foxnews.com/tech/2014/03/13/why-passenger-cellphones-cant-help-locate-missing-malaysian-air-jet/

Lolie fucked around with this message at 10:59 on Mar 16, 2014

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

Niwrad posted:

Wouldn't cell phones on the plane by passengers be able to provide some information? Don't many have built-in GPS? And wouldn't a passenger send out an e-mail or something about the flight if it was really flying 7 hours into nowhere?

Good luck getting cell signal in the middle of the Pacific. You have to be withing about five miles of a tower to get a signal. At 35k feet up, the range is increased somewhat, but it's still the middle of the loving ocean. Consider how hard it is to get a cell signal in some parts of the continental US once you're an hour's drive from a major city.

GPS is one-way. The GPS sats send out a time signal that the receiver uses to triangulate its position; the CSI tracking of phones is having the phone send its location home over the phone network. Or better, see which towers the phone is talking to and relative signal strength and avoid the battery drain and tipping-off-the-user icon on the screen of using the GPS.

Phone GPS runs down the battery quick not because it's talking back to the satellite, but because it's running the processor balls-out doing the math to convert 8+ slightly offset time signals to a 3D position.

Edit: My phone does GPS fine in airplane mode (coords redacted so you creepy motherfuckers don't take pictures of my house):

Chillbro Baggins fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Mar 16, 2014

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you

duckmaster posted:

Current theories

  • Terrorism
  • Aliens
  • Suicide
  • Shot down
  • Time portal
  • Aircraft never actually existed
  • Parallel universe
  • Lost and crashed
  • Fire
  • Hitler
  • Godzilla
  • Nuclear meltdown
  • Industrial sabotage
  • Lizard people
  • The Jews
  • Banks
  • Elvis Presley
  • Mechanical failure
  • Flew to the moon
  • Black holes
  • Aircraft became sentient
  • The call is coming from within the house
  • Equipment failure
  • Trapped in plane crash factory please send help
  • Landed at another airfield
  • Crashed into mountains
  • Bigfoot
  • Michael J Fox
  • Viral marketing
  • Flew right next to another plane so it looked like a single, twice as big plane to the radar. As long as they picked a really noisy plane the pilots would never notice at night.
  • Jizz

Magic bullet. As in literally the magic bullet that "mortally" wounded JFK. JFK actually survived but is hooked up to a stationary machine found in a mountain complex somewhere in Europe. The magic bullet, having finally found the bunker, needed a way to penetrate its outer shell. Just like it hijacked JFK's car and took it down the wrong road, it hijacked this plane and flew it to an airstrip where it is currently reenforcing the nose and loading it to the ceiling with high explosives.

WastedJoker
Oct 29, 2011

Fiery the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their shoulders... burning with the fires of Orc.
So they've searched the pilots home and, as a result of what they found there, are now examining the flight simulator he uses?

Remember that turkish pilot who suicided?

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

Fumble posted:

erratic manurers

AKA the Malaysian government... :toot:

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum

duckmaster posted:

Current theories

  • Terrorism
  • Aliens
  • Suicide
  • Shot down
  • Time portal
  • Aircraft never actually existed
  • Parallel universe
  • Lost and crashed
  • Fire
  • Hitler
  • Godzilla
  • Nuclear meltdown
  • Industrial sabotage
  • Lizard people
  • The Jews
  • Banks
  • Elvis Presley
  • Mechanical failure
  • Flew to the moon
  • Black holes
  • Aircraft became sentient
  • The call is coming from within the house
  • Equipment failure
  • Trapped in plane crash factory please send help
  • Landed at another airfield
  • Crashed into mountains
  • Bigfoot
  • Michael J Fox
  • Viral marketing
  • Flew right next to another plane so it looked like a single, twice as big plane to the radar. As long as they picked a really noisy plane the pilots would never notice at night.
  • Jizz

I don't think we can rule any of these out, except possibly "fire" and "equipment failure" because let's be honest they sound a bit far fetched.

We should probably add "last act of spite by Fred Phelps" to the list.

samizdat
Dec 3, 2008

Lolie posted:

You're not near any cell phone towers when you're flying over open ocean. The technology exists to allow both data and voice calls at cruising altitude but it's a capability which would almost certainly be able to be disabled from the cockpit (pilots being unable to disable things in the cabin have resulted in nasty accidents in the past) and which not every carrier has adopted.

When you're using GPS, you're not transmitting to a satellite - your phone is a passive receiver of the signals.

Yeah it's possible but not likely that if they were low enough and near land with towers in range, a cell phone somebody left on could've connected. This is also assuming that it didn't run out of battery power, because if you leave your phone on in a place with no reception (airplane in middle of the ocean, Faraday cage, whatever) it'll drain the battery pretty quickly as it repeatedly tries to connect to a network.

wretchx
Dec 4, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Could a 777 be flown under 200 feet if no turns are made?

Admiral Heklar
May 2, 2012

Gate Camper

windsor posted:

Could a 777 be flown under 200 feet if no turns are made?

Didnt work out so well for the airbus, so im going to say no....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9gELPxPG8Q

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action
Thursday morning Jasmin Shah installed the popular game Flight Simulator on her computer for her son Zaharie Shah to play with she noticed the Flight Simulator game was asking questions that seemed very odd the Flight Simulator asked “Are you a pilot?” and even went as far as asking “Do you know what a transmitter is?” at the time she didn’t suspected that a jihadist was on the other side of the game communicating with her young son Zaharie.

Friday morning she let Zaharie play with her computer while she showered by the time she was ready to drive Zaharie to airport he was missing. She reported him missing 1 hour later and a detective asked her if she had the “Flight Simulator” game on her computer she was stunned to find out that several pilots in the same neighborhood have gone missing days after installing the game. Huzlers talked to a local detective and he told us “We have been tracking the Flight Simulator for days now he’s like a shadow” we are assuming this news hasn’t been made public to keep game users from panicking.

wretchx
Dec 4, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo

Admiral Heklar posted:

Didnt work out so well for the airbus, so im going to say no....
Right, but I mean while making altitude corrections when necessary.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

windsor posted:

Right, but I mean while making altitude corrections when necessary.

At night I would highly doubt it.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Lolie posted:

We should probably add "last act of spite by Fred Phelps" to the list.
David Copperfield made it disappear for an incredible special that will break all of the ratings records for CBS.

Ferdinand Bardamu
Apr 30, 2013

Crazy Ted posted:

David Copperfield made it disappear for an incredible special that will break all of the ratings records for CBS.

Av/post.

Mr. Gibbycrumbles
Aug 30, 2004

Do you think your paladin sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style
So is this the fault of those two Aussie tarts, or what?

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WastedJoker
Oct 29, 2011

Fiery the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their shoulders... burning with the fires of Orc.
guys, I think we found something:

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