|
ilysespieces posted:Except for that one where someone in custodial ran across the park in a Darth Vader costume for some kid in a wheelchair (or something like that, it's the same basic premise), because that's a thousand % bullshit. Or that one Peter Pan who always helps the people with self-harm scars, even though it's not only unprofessional, but just rude and not cool to make a deal out of that.
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 18:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 22:31 |
|
|
Waffleman_ posted:Or that one Peter Pan who always helps the people with self-harm scars, even though it's not only unprofessional, but just rude and not cool to make a deal out of that. Best STDH Peter Pan is the one who supposedly peer pressured two grown-rear end adults into sliding down a giant bannister on a moving boat.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 19:57
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 22:48
|
|
|
That's not STDH, that's creepy sad obsessive boy who can't take a hint.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 22:53
|
|
|
Who buys tickets, gives them both to someone else, and then expects to be asked to go? That is now how buying a ticket for someone plays out in real life.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 22:55
|
|
|
"In this case, I'm obviously the dick for pressuring you to go out with me for several years after you clearly showed you weren't interested, to the point you felt you had to lie and make a quick escape whenever I tried to corner you into romantic interaction you obviously didn't want."
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 23:11
|
|
|
Everything up to the school disco is him just not taking a hint. The concert thing is baffling. How exactly is that supposed to have played out?
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 23:13
|
|
|
Decrepus posted:Who buys tickets, gives them both to someone else, and then expects to be asked to go? That is now how buying a ticket for someone plays out in real life. No no, she took them off him!!! Snatched them from his heartbroken, fap-exhausted hand 
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 23:22
|
|
|
So yeah, my graduating senior year in High School, there was this whole thing about how all seniors had to come up with some prank. Now I was stumped, cause I'm not the type to do anything to drastic or illegal to leave a memorable mark on the memory of my peers, but nevertheless, I still wanted something for the school to remember me by. So I managed to finally figure out a prank, it was perverted, but it worked. When I was sitting on stage in my cap and gown, watching the principle hand out diplomas and shaking hands and hugging or whatnot, I stood up on my chair, (my principal was facing the audience, who the chairs was facing too) showed a rolled up newspaper, and stuffed it into my croth area. The rolled up newspaper was about a good 8 inches. All the adults and students saw me do the motion. When it was my turn to get my diploma, I accepted it, shook hands, and suddenly violently hugged the principal. The audience laughed, but my principle pushed me away with his face all red, and I went back to my seat. That was my final farewell to my school...and principal.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 04:02
|
|
|
All the adults and students saw me do the motion.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 09:18
|
|
|
Thats literally the lamest senior prank I've ever heard of
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 09:20
|
|
|
Ok guys, one more since it was requested. I just don't want to keep posting synthetic stdh and be annoying. This is a story with a lot of bugs/errors in it but I found it amusing nonetheless. NotAlwaysRandom posted:
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 09:54
|
|
|
corn in the bible posted:I'm not the type to do anything to drastic or illegal to leave a memorable mark on the memory of my peers But even so, I will shove something down my pants in front of all the students and my parents in order to make the principal think I have a stiffy.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 09:59
|
|
|
The stdh.txt thread is over there --> Edit: It's me. I'm the  . This was the stdh.txt thread.
Weatherman has a new favorite as of 23:35 on Mar 21, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 10:03
|
|
|
MonoAus posted:Ok guys, one more since it was requested. I just don't want to keep posting synthetic stdh and be annoying.  . Just .These are good. Markov chains or something more sophisticated?
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 10:22
|
|
|
 
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:00
|
|
|
Weatherman posted:The stdh.txt thread is over there --> This is the stdh.txt thread 
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:18
|
|
|
mierda_que_no_pasó.txt  Why are so many of these petty revenge fantasies about really improbable promotions at jobs where the storyteller clearly has no real experience?
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:20
|
|
|
I think corn in the bible's quoting minus quote tags. http://www.storg.net/view/?0105
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:20
|
|
|
Bertrand Hustle posted:Why are so many of these petty revenge fantasies about really improbable promotions at jobs where the storyteller clearly has no real experience? I understood what the people were saying about me and I didn't react or acknowledge it for seven months...
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:25
|
|
|
7-11, a crackhead, and pajamas. So it’s 2:45 am. I forgot to eat all day, and I’m in my apartment watching Seinfelds. I own every episode on DVD, and to try and bring myself out of my deep, dark depression, I have turned to relentlessly watching these episodes. But, it made me forget to eat. I haven’t eaten much in the last couple months, but I do get to where I can sense low blood sugar, and my body tells me, “Well, if you do want to stay alive, you better eat something.” So here I go to 7-11, or as I like to refer to it “the fridge”. I don’t keep perishables in my house. So I buy almost everything I eat as needed. Now for 8 years in my apartment, I’ve never gone out of the house to go shopping in my pajama bottoms. Today was the day. I usually go in jeans, shorts, or sweats, but I don’t currently have sweats, it’s too cold for shorts, and when I found myself staring at my jeans for what must have been 4 or 5 straight minutes, I snapped out of it and decided, well poo poo, I’m going as is. So on went the baseball cap and the jacket and the Birkenstocks, and out I went. On my way I almost yelled, “Why don’t you fuckin’ people just shut it!” to my neighbors whoa re partying inside the lesbian apartment. I’m all for people trying to have fun, but Jesus, it’s nearly 3 am on what for most would be a workday. Plus these bitches are singing out of tune and yelling incoherently. I guess I’m just a little mad because they really are lesbians, so the opportunity to go knock on the door and join the party full of drunk chicks is lost on me. As I rounded the corner from my walk way to the main sidewalk, I looked to my left and approaching was a brunette wearing lightly colored pants. Very lightly colored. I sort of thought to myself they might be pajama bottoms, but she was too far away, and at three o’clock I wasn’t gonna stand there and wait for her. So I trip my rear end down the street and as I round the corner in front of 7-11, I spot this dude who looked like he was just finishing up wind sprints in the parking lot. He was the spitting image of my friend Kenny, and he was kinda babbling. He got to the door and I instinctively slowed my pace as to delay my own arrival at said door. Upon entering the convenience establishment, it’s just him and Akbar, or Mojumbi, or whatever the 7-11 dude’s name is. I wave to the attendant and proceed to fish about for my diet soda and sandwich and some sort of pastry treat. I can hear this guy talking. Is he talking to me? I don’t know. Just then the woman stalking me, I mean who was walking behind me 150 yards entered the store. She had on pajama bottoms. I don’t know if it was because she came in just then or because of other factors, but this is when I decided this guy was on crack or something. He became MUCH louder and started apologizing to the Gatorade. I became slightly uneasy. He looked at me and started to apologize to ME. I couldn’t really understand him but he was trying to impart his apologies for his attitude and demeanor I believe. I mustered a half smile (I think), but all I could think about is if this guy starts some shenanigans, I’m not bolting. I’m gonna fuckin’ throw down. I’m gonna beat up, and if I have to, take out a crack fiend. But then he just started (for lack of a better term) making love to the Gatorade. No. Seriously. I mean he started caressing the bottles and making sounds I found familiar when I thought maybe that’s what I sound like when I jack off. I’m not sure I do. I probably don’t. I don’t. I’m quiet. So I take my stuff to the counter and this girl was one of these people who gets a few items at a time and stacks them at the register and then proceeds to do more shopping. See I have this theory that if you’re in 7-11 buying more than you can carry in your hands, you’re hosed up in the head. I gotta meet this girl. We met at the counter and I made the silent ‘go ahead’ gesture and she said, “Oh no, I’m not ready, but you go ahead.” Incidentally, exactly what my prom date said. Anyhoo… I asked, “Are you… Are you wearing pajama bottoms?” “Why yes I am.” I lifted my leg to show her I was too. She smiled. I might have, I don’t remember. Then I looked up to complete my purchases and crackfucker was STANDING WITH THE 7-11 GUY! The 7-11 person looked very, very nervous and my only thought was that some or most of my blood may soon be on this linoleum floor here. I don’t know why, but I asked crackerfucker, “Oh, do you work here?” Dude tuned into Kramer. He just kinda did that blowing air out sound while grabbing his head in general disbelief. I was thrilled both at the coincidence that I was just home watching Seinfeld and this guy’s doing Kramer, and the fact that injury was most likely a little further away. He walked away from the 7-11 guy and returned to mumbling and creating relationships with various and sundry foodstuffs. Pajama girl came back over and just gave me that ‘We’re a team if poo poo happens right?’ look. I told her it was nice meeting her. She reciprocated adding that the next time we should meet in the street, we should shoot for MATCHING pajamas. Never got her name. I’m kinda stupid that way. I always used to think that I never met girls, but now I’m starting to realize I meet a ton of girls, I’m just not an aggressor. I always assume girls hate me anyway. the last time Iknew a girl liked me, I was loving her. She gave me a perfect opening (and in the face of possible mortal danger) and all I did was leave. Now that I think about it, I can either ask the 7-11 guy next time if he knows who she is, or I can just go out on the street every night at 3 am in my pajama bottoms. Who knows. Anyway, that’s the story of 7-11, a crackhead, and pajamas. Oh and a girl who might have wanted to talk to me and/or get to know me that I completely blew off because I’m so much the idiot. All right. Back to Jerry and the gang...
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:27
|
|
|
MonoAus posted:Ok guys, one more since it was requested. I just don't want to keep posting synthetic stdh and be annoying. quote:I am walking down the hall when a old white gentleman violently approaches me Lost it right there, kept getting better.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:29
|
|
|
corn in the bible posted:pajama pants? This was long and boring. There wasn't even a fight with a Nightwish soundtrack to make it all worthwhile.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 16:39
|
|
|
It's probably true, just because of how terribly pathetic it is. I mean, how lovely does your life have to be if Seinfeld cheers you up?
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 19:13
|
|
|
SodomyGoat101 posted:It's probably true, just because of how terribly pathetic it is. I mean, how lovely does your life have to be if Seinfeld cheers you up? Don't be a Kramer shamer.
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 19:45
|
|
|
corn in the bible posted:
And poo poo certainly didn't happen in that story. What was the point? "Hey redditors/tropers i inadvertently get gurrls just from lifting my unemployed rear end off the couch and have never noticed it before."
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 22:27
|
|
|
no_shit_columbo posted:And poo poo certainly didn't happen in that story. with a dash of "ugh, lesbians! can't even gently caress em!" and "foreigners! can't they just have normal names like John or Craig?" 
|
|
#
?
Mar 21, 2014 22:47
|
|
|
Why would he send three valentines cards in one year?
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 00:03
|
|
|
Shorter Than Some posted:Why would he send three valentines cards in one year? Send that m'lady a card. M'ladies love cards.
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 00:29
|
|
|
no_shit_columbo posted:And poo poo certainly didn't happen in that story. Sorry, but the point was actually to tell STORG readers about his sexy pajamas, not redditors.
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 00:37
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:Send that m'lady a card. M'ladies love cards. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 02:05
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:Send that m'lady a card. M'ladies love cards. You made me do this. How could you. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 02:41
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 08:45
|
|
|
ah yes, the well-known "gaybonics" dialect
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 08:52
|
|
|
I've seen a few mutations of that STDH, but this is the first time I've seen the princess described as Arab or "Arabic-looking".
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 09:52
|
|
|
 Imgur. And people weren't even calling it out this time, they actually believe it. underage at the vape shop has a new favorite as of 14:24 on Mar 22, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 14:20
|
|
|
The STDH is coming from inside the forums!Chupe Raho Aurat posted:I walked with three 19 year old first year students on the way into town, two blondes and an asian. One of the blondes was a good head and shoulders taller than me and the asian girl was busty as hell.
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 14:47
|
|
|
On what planet is a Princess flying commercial? Not to mention the implication is this 'Princess' is flying coach. It would make sense if it were just an entitled person saying "My daddy says I'm a princess, and I do what I want" or something. A real princess though? Makes no sense. I guess that's why she's an Arabian Princess, because Arabs are poor right? I mean what's their main export? Sand? It's not like there is anything valuable that everyone wants in 'generic Arabian lands'. e - to be honest I know it's a joke, but the first time I heard it, a long time ago, our princess was a 'JAP' (Jewish American Princess) which was offensive enough. I guess one racist rear end joke can be transferred to another racist rear end joke with just the changing of a few key slurs. Lap-Lem has a new favorite as of 15:52 on Mar 22, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 15:48
|
|
|
A Saucy Bratwurst posted:
The manager doesn't usually run over any time a drink is spilled in a bar either.
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 16:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 22:31 |
|
|
big mean giraffe posted:The manager doesn't usually run over any time a drink is spilled in a bar either. You mean drunk people knocking stuff over isn't unusual?
|
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 17:15
|
|