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Palisader posted:Phase one: You guys are being too harsh! Jeez, goons. Fugue Stater posted:And I think the cycle happens multiple times for some people. Phase five and a half: Benny lies about making a half-hearted gesture in the general direction of personhood. Phase six: "HE'S IMPROVING HOLY poo poo" Return to phase 1, with the addendum of "At least he's doing..."
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 00:40 |
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# ? Jun 4, 2024 21:57 |
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Benny's family does not have health insurance, so he can't be covered under his parents' plan.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 01:45 |
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Ms. Happiness posted:Benny's family does not have health insurance, so he can't be covered under his parents' plan. Maybe Benny finally caved and decided to sign up for health insurance... and then had an aneurysm.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 01:59 |
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Benny's Lament (to the tune of Empty Chairs at Empty Tables) Mine's a life that can't be lived in. My job search goes on and on. Empty carts smashing cars up Now my jobs are lost and gone. Here I talked of many job fairs. Once I passed out my resume. Here I sang about employment And employment never came. From the table in the corner I browsed for diaper porn And my mother started screaming. And I can hear her now! The very threats that she had thrown Justice of God descending My comics thrown away at dawn. Oh my friends, my friends forgive me That I write and you must read. There are words that can't be spelled well. Nouns and verbs that won't agree. Phantom letters from employers. Phantom dreams of teaching. I will call back tomorrow Then my friends will mock no more. Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me What your advice and help was for I will call back tomorrow And I will send them a nice card.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 02:11 |
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Xenocides posted:Benny's Lament (to the tune of Empty Chairs at Empty Tables) I love your face so hard right now.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 02:35 |
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What goon is it that sings? Colorfinger? We need him.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 02:38 |
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Have we ever definitively figured out if Benny has an English degree or has he been lying about that the whole time? I caught up on this thread today and that's the underlying question I have.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 03:04 |
has this dumb kid figured out his insanely pathetic life yet?
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 03:05 |
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How old is Benny anyway? I thought you could stay on your parent's insurance until you were 26.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 03:10 |
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Advertiser posted:Benny the Snake, I'll PayPal you $100 US dollars to make a 5 minute video introducing yourself, your brother and parents, showing us your room and taking us through an average day in your life. This is creepy as hell as well as everyone following this lead
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 03:35 |
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Darth123123 posted:This is creepy as hell as well as everyone following this lead Says Darth123123
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 03:56 |
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Killer Queen posted:Have we ever definitively figured out if Benny has an English degree or has he been lying about that the whole time? I caught up on this thread today and that's the underlying question I have. His posts in the various "arts" sub-forums sure as hell read like the kind of poo poo people studying English Literature waffle off, but not what I'd expect from someone who averaged B or above at a 4 year university.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 04:33 |
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Lolie posted:His posts in the various "arts" sub-forums sure as hell read like the kind of poo poo people studying English Literature waffle off, but not what I'd expect from someone who averaged B or above at a 4 year university. Well, it was a tech school's English program. Even so, the number of grammar and usage errors is kind of baffling considering his major. Maybe his profs allowed draft submissions, and he'd correct all of the red edits before actually turning in for a grade?
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 05:02 |
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Darth123123 posted:waaa waaa So let me get this straight. We're on a forum that commissioned some of the most vile and exploitative scat pornography on the internet, but a 5 minute clip of Benny showing us his life is creepy? If I had more cash I'd commission an entire reality TV series around Benny the Snake because who wouldn't want to look into the life of someone so fundamentally different? Hell, if anyone else is keen to chip in let's write up a season of 12 BtS episodes and pay him to produce each one. The offer still stands Benny. $25 bucks a minute, even you couldn't gently caress this up so let's make the Benny the Snake Season 1 Pilot happen. Advertiser fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Mar 21, 2014 |
# ? Mar 21, 2014 06:42 |
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Fugue Stater posted:Well, it was a tech school's English program. Even so, the number of grammar and usage errors is kind of baffling considering his major. Maybe his profs allowed draft submissions, and he'd correct all of the red edits before actually turning in for a grade? It is possible that his instructors thought he was an ESL student and graded his papers accordingly. I know I didn't bust ESL students' balls as hard on grammar and spelling as I did native speakers'.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 07:13 |
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I work at a very expensive, apparently rigorous humanities college. I am almost always appalled by the writing I see. But Benny's errors are a special mix of tone-deaf and structurally unsound. I am not certain that most English professors would know where to start with his grammar. I work with some, not a lot, of ESL students and I swear they know more about grammar than I do. He says so much weird stuff. I know I'm typing anecdotes from my life, but I also worked for a congressperson for a bit. If any of our campaign volunteers had ever referred to himself as a "fellow" we would laughed in his face. Anyway, I think we know he got the degree because there was drama around a graduation party. He also mentions right at the start of the thread that he graduated fall 2012. He doesn't get his diploma until spring 2013, though. Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 14:21 on Mar 21, 2014 |
# ? Mar 21, 2014 14:19 |
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Uncle Salty posted:Anyway, I think we know he got the degree because there was drama around a graduation party. He also mentions right at the start of the thread that he graduated fall 2012. He doesn't get his diploma until spring 2013, though. Benny, did you lie to your parents about graduating?
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 14:33 |
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Did he get a bachelor's or an associate's degree?
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 14:41 |
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Grammar? She died years ago!
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 15:09 |
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Advertiser posted:So let me get this straight. We're on a forum that commissioned some of the most vile and exploitative scat pornography on the internet, but a 5 minute clip of Benny showing us his life is creepy? Lots of things can be weird without it being a competition. You'll make bank selling it on when Benny gets arrested after murdering a senator with a shopping cart though.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 15:15 |
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Maybe it was one of those diploma mill degrees that you can potentially buy for your dog.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 15:24 |
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Edit: Aah never mind. It's not worth it.
almightyerin fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Mar 21, 2014 |
# ? Mar 21, 2014 15:54 |
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Uncle Salty posted:I work at a very expensive, apparently rigorous humanities college. I am almost always appalled by the writing I see. But Benny's errors are a special mix of tone-deaf and structurally unsound. I am not certain that most English professors would know where to start with his grammar. Can you give a couple examples of what you mean? I don't personally think Benny's writing is all that great but I never felt like it was unique in its quality.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 18:12 |
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Krotera posted:Can you give a couple examples of what you mean? I don't personally think Benny's writing is all that great but I never felt like it was unique in its quality. To me, Benny writes like someone pretending to be smart. I think someone said this thread should be renamed The Dunning Kruger Effect in Action. I feel kind of silly posting in this thread now. It was fun when it looked like Benny was going to get a job and improve himself, but now that it looks like he's content to remain unemployed with his mom taking care of him it's just weird and strange. Just please don't gently caress up the volunteer library thing, Benny. Don't rearrange the books according to your weird Tetris system, knock over shelves, or be creepy to any of the old people there. Don't screw this up, this might be the only thing you can do.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 18:52 |
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Aqua Bear posted:To me, Benny writes like someone pretending to be smart. I think someone said this thread should be renamed The Dunning Kruger Effect in Action. I'd agree, but a lot of people do that. (Sometimes I do that.) I think the best example in Benny's case is the story structure he's been sticking to (Mexican people -> murders): to me it seems like it's him trying to approximate what he thinks a "literary" story looks like -- here's some Mexicans (sometimes in the US, where they're a minority group -- hardship! The tragic hand that life can deal!) who talk like Mexicans (Diversity! Cross-cultural message!), but -- oh no, here comes the frailty of human life! Darn it, if only he'd remembered to check the barrel! Can't win them all.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 19:12 |
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Krotera posted:Can you give a couple examples of what you mean? I don't personally think Benny's writing is all that great but I never felt like it was unique in its quality. Well, maybe it's not unique, but I confess he really throws me with some of his choices. I'll find you an example, but the first one that I can think of is his weird insistence on mis-using the term "reverse engineer" from about a thousand pages back. He kept asking if it was OK to "reverse engineer a cover letter" when what he meant was "is it OK to tweak a cover letter from one job application to fit another pretty similar job application?". That's not a very good example, though. It just really riled me up. All right, here's an example of what I find frustrating in Benny the Snake's writing. I'm going to address this to Benny. First of all, the spelling. What browser are you using that doesn't address some of these spelling errors? Second, what's going on with the sudden introduction of numbering (I assume) with the "Three"? He is introducing a third point, but why not number all three? Now I'm just confused. What does "are a minimum" mean with respect to food service or retail work? Why is this point both overstated and vague, all at once? Why be vague here when in the next line, you're being super specific about "the classifieds of the local paper"? Finally, and this has been a source of great discomfort to everyone but you, Benny, throughout the thread: you're just wrong about so many things. You state here and in at least one other post that your candidate was certain to win. He didn't. You state that you are overqualified for some work. You're not. Not here, but in another much later post, you state that you have a job based on a telephone call to a place that was hiring an admin. You refused to take the email address of the person who was leaving, and who seemed to want to help you apply. But you led the post with "I think I have a job". Why do you insist on making statements that are obviously not connected to reality at all? Benny the Snake posted:Okay, quickie answers. The political intership is for a state special election. I'm staying for the campaign, as my candidate is known very well in the area so we're going to move past the primary to the proper election. Three, I talked with Jon the campiagn manager and he suggested I stay away from warehouse work and fast food. I invested time and money into my degree so I could avoid that work. Restaraunts and retail are a minimum, as I'm overqualified for everything else. Tomorrow I'm checking in with the job agency. I'm also going to use Monster, InDeed, and the classifieds of my local paper to find a job. Edit to add that there was one story in the Thunderdome that I thought was way better than the others, so good job, dude. Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Mar 21, 2014 |
# ? Mar 21, 2014 19:35 |
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Palisader posted:Since we are never, ever, ever getting a response from Benny about the healthcare situation, I thought I'd throw out my favorite part of this thread, which is watching new people come in. I've been on Step six: "Go gently caress yourself you lazy retarded rear end in a top hat" for about six months
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 20:21 |
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Krotera posted:I'd agree, but a lot of people do that. (Sometimes I do that.) I think the best example in Benny's case is the story structure he's been sticking to (Mexican people -> murders): to me it seems like it's him trying to approximate what he thinks a "literary" story looks like -- here's some Mexicans (sometimes in the US, where they're a minority group -- hardship! The tragic hand that life can deal!) who talk like Mexicans (Diversity! Cross-cultural message!), but -- oh no, here comes the frailty of human life! Darn it, if only he'd remembered to check the barrel! Can't win them all. Thank you! You've made the thread funny again.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 20:27 |
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Krotera posted:I'd agree, but a lot of people do that. (Sometimes I do that.) I think the best example in Benny's case is the story structure he's been sticking to (Mexican people -> murders): to me it seems like it's him trying to approximate what he thinks a "literary" story looks like -- here's some Mexicans (sometimes in the US, where they're a minority group -- hardship! The tragic hand that life can deal!) who talk like Mexicans (Diversity! Cross-cultural message!), but -- oh no, here comes the frailty of human life! Darn it, if only he'd remembered to check the barrel! Can't win them all. The Mexican thing is Benny trying to inject his own personal culture into everything, but his experiences and life in general are so disconnected from what a "typical" Latino or Mexican or whatever would be experiencing it's ridiculous. Benny is a fat, spoiled white kid who happens to have Mexican ancestry, not a cultural touchstone of what it means to be Mexican in today's US. He has almost nothing to contribute perspective-wise from his cultural heritage because his entire life revolves around about the most vanilla type of media you can get your hands on.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 22:01 |
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almightyerin posted:Edit: Aah never mind. It's not worth it. Pure Benny-channeling right here. Would make a good new thread title.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 22:57 |
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Benny has entered the dome this week again. Interestingly enough, the prompt is about communication.
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# ? Mar 21, 2014 23:45 |
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I ask his entry not be counted until he answered about healthcare with an explanation as to why or why not he signed up for it.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 00:11 |
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natetimm posted:The Mexican thing is Benny trying to inject his own personal culture into everything, but his experiences and life in general are so disconnected from what a "typical" Latino or Mexican or whatever would be experiencing it's ridiculous. Benny is a fat, spoiled white kid who happens to have Mexican ancestry, not a cultural touchstone of what it means to be Mexican in today's US. He has almost nothing to contribute perspective-wise from his cultural heritage because his entire life revolves around about the most vanilla type of media you can get your hands on. An identity as a fully anglicized latino would be a perfectly valid place to write from if Benny had any capacity for self-reflection or observation. Writers don't have to ignore their cultural heritage just because it isn't stereotypical - that's actually all the more reason a good writer of color ought to write about their own experiences. But Benny sucks and is stupid and has, as you said, an identity entirely formed by especially boring varieties of mass media. Benny actually writes Mexicans the way a racist white dude would, which is pretty hilarious. They could be minor villains in Bill O'Reilly novels.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 00:11 |
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This makes his fiction make a little more sense to me. I thought that the weird, old-timey Mexican characters were supposed to come across as noir-ish, or like something from a Humphrey Bogart movie.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 00:34 |
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:An identity as a fully anglicized latino would be a perfectly valid place to write from if Benny had any capacity for self-reflection or observation. Writers don't have to ignore their cultural heritage just because it isn't stereotypical - that's actually all the more reason a good writer of color ought to write about their own experiences. Yep yep. Luis Alberto Urrea is an interesting example of someone with a complicated relationship to being Mexican-American (partly because dude looks like Louis C.K.'s older brother) who explores that in his writing. Benny, not so much.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 01:20 |
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AlbieQuirky posted:Yep yep. Luis Alberto Urrea is an interesting example of someone with a complicated relationship to being Mexican-American (partly because dude looks like Louis C.K.'s older brother) who explores that in his writing. Benny, not so much. I assume you know this because you mentioned it, but Louis C.K is also Mexican, which is awesome.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 02:42 |
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InEscape posted:I assume you know this because you mentioned it, but Louis C.K is also Mexican, which is awesome. Trap sprung!
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 05:12 |
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:An identity as a fully anglicized latino would be a perfectly valid place to write from if Benny had any capacity for self-reflection or observation. Writers don't have to ignore their cultural heritage just because it isn't stereotypical - that's actually all the more reason a good writer of color ought to write about their own experiences. But Benny sucks and is stupid and has, as you said, an identity entirely formed by especially boring varieties of mass media. Benny actually writes Mexicans the way a racist white dude would, which is pretty hilarious. They could be minor villains in Bill O'Reilly novels. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 10:15 |
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What happened with last week's Target interview, Benny?quote:An identity as a fully anglicized latino would be a perfectly valid place to write from if Benny had any capacity for self-reflection or observation. Writers don't have to ignore their cultural heritage just because it isn't stereotypical - that's actually all the more reason a good writer of color ought to write about their own experiences. But Benny sucks and is stupid and has, as you said, an identity entirely formed by especially boring varieties of mass media. Benny actually writes Mexicans the way a racist white dude would, which is pretty hilarious. They could be minor villains in Bill O'Reilly novels. Writing from a place you know - whether it's cultural background or your own dark thoughts - doesn't have to be a bad thing. The challenge is to do so in a manner which engages the reader. Shallow, stereotypical characters can still be entertaining but Benny's are not. To some extent, his efforts remind me of the stuff we used to produce in early high school when we were being taught different concepts in writing - we weren't so much required to produce stuff which engaged the reader, just something which demonstrated we understood whatever concept was being taught (structure, dialogue, etc). I wonder if Benny's writing for CC as though he's submitting an assignment rather than from a place of "here's a prompt, go hog wild".
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 22:04 |
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# ? Jun 4, 2024 21:57 |
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Everything Benny writes, posts and stories alike, comes off oddly flat.
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# ? Mar 22, 2014 22:20 |