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car dance posted:It may be a deal breaker for some but people who use not having a job as their excuse for never getting dates or laid probably just are using it as an excuse, as I said. I'm not saying it may not be harder, but it's a good way to not have to try. In my case, it's not that I'm using it as an excuse to not try, but it's really loving weird getting home from working your part time job, where you got asked why you were back like 30 times, expecting to sort through the stuff you just cleared out of your desk at your now former job and getting ambushed with "why don't you have a girlfriend? Why don't you go get one?". I also found out that same night that I aged out of my dad's drug plan and I lost my coverage from my full-time job, so my medication literally costs 5 times as much now, so I really didn't have relationships on the brain. I need to get into a better situation, because I'm really not ready to commit to something right now. I might move cities if it comes down to that. I really want to be able to do cool stuff with an awesome lady, and have a place to take her back to even if she doesn't, and you can't do that without money. gently caress, back to square one of building up an adult life.
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Mar 31, 2014 03:47
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Some Guy TT posted:One time I stared at this girl really frustrated because all I could see on her book was J.R.R. Tolkien. I knew that was a famous author but I couldn't remember what he wrote so I finally walked up and asked her. In retrospect I probably could have parlayed that into a date except that I only really wanted to know who J.R.R. Tolkien was so it did not occur to me to respond to her answer with anything but a thank you. After that, it's just general conversation skills, unless you know something about what she's reading. For conversational skills, I actually have to credit a PUA video for this: if talking to women your own age makes you too nervous, talk to old ladies. They aren't terribly different from anyone else, and there's no pressure. I think the original advise was to go to a bingo hall and chat with the other players at your table.
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Mar 31, 2014 07:26
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Jabarto posted:Serious question; if this is the case am I just poo poo out of luck if I don't live somewhere with an 8-digit population? The nearest big city is 30 miles away from me so there are maybe a dozen women my age within driving distance. Almost all of them have kids or want them (I don't) and the 3 or 4 who don't either won't message me back or aren't my type at all. Life is about decisions and how those decisions relate to opportunity. Is finding a (sexual) life partner so important to you that you are willing to risk it all (knowing that you may well fail)? Or are you sufficiently comfortable that if you are basically "poo poo out of luck" when it comes to opportunities you are OK with that? Assuming the nearest "big city" isn't all that large, the cost of living should be pretty low. I've known numerous people who've gotten poo poo-end jobs in those places (think Sears) and commuted from their hell-hole countryside until they find a shithole apartment near their rear end-end job. Assuming it's the sort of "little big city" I'm thinking of, they've had a fair degree of success. They get tiny little jobs with their tiny little wives in their tiny little houses. And you know what? They are happy as poo poo about it. They won. Not only that, but they are viewed as being incredibly successful because instead of actualizing their dreams in the tiny little town where they grew up, they actualized them in the little big city! It gets a little more complicated when you move to major urban areas. Because you can realistically get by on a smile, a handshake and a little bit of personality in the little big city. In real cities, you are either steel or you are slag. But you knew that moving in and what "steel" means and what "slag" means are highly variable depending on your circumstances. Irrespective of your vantage point, you can use hard drugs as a "suicide solution". You tried, you failed, here are a bunch of readily obtainable chemical substitutes you can use until you fade away. 'Course, you could skip trying and just take that route in the country too. It'd be meth and oxy instead of cocaine and heroin but it's all the same idea. That said, when that was the barrel I was looking down I took the chance on self-improvement. Either way, it's a coward's suicide solution. In my case, the solution was that life improved and I won. I know some people that went the other direction. Either way, I think we got what we wanted. Give me happiness or give me death!
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Mar 31, 2014 07:31
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Sardonik posted:The sexual desert.
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Mar 31, 2014 09:12
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Another good book for getting laid is Mind Games by Jay T. Doggzone.
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Mar 31, 2014 10:14
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Another good book for getting laid is red book.
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Mar 31, 2014 10:49
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Arrrthritis posted:I hear that, man. Better to die alone than to have to explain to someone that you met your SO on the internet or, god forbid, lie and say "We met at a party." What's so bad about dying alone? It doesn't personally bother me, all I hope is to make it to the grave with as little pain as possible and one of the most painful things for me is losing face. Also, my mother met her new husband online and I don't want to stoop to her level. Yeah, I know I'm a creep with issues- I'm working on them slowly but surely. Sexgun Rasputin posted:getting buzzed helps. being a sloppy drunken retard isn't sexy, but if you're a playful happy ebullient drunk then yeah go for it. Could a change of drink be in order? For the most part I'm a beer drinker, sometimes vodka.
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Mar 31, 2014 12:43
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I think the issue is that as we change, the things we find most painful change. Like as a kid the most painful thing was getting a knee scrape or whatever, as a youth getting your ego bruised is the most painful thing. It's very possible that as you get older, being lonely will be more painful than losing face, and you'll be way behind on developing the skills to prevent being lonely cuz you spent your whole life trying to avoid discomfort. I don't think you're a creep. Your internet dating hangup is weird though, cuz it really is normal nowadays.
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Mar 31, 2014 14:46
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Benny Harvey posted:What's so bad about dying alone? It doesn't personally bother me, all I hope is to make it to the grave with as little pain as possible and one of the most painful things for me is losing face. Also, my mother met her new husband online and I don't want to stoop to her level. Yeah, I know I'm a creep with issues- I'm working on them slowly but surely. There's a huge difference between loving being by yourself and letting fear harden in you until you can't move. Your 'face' is imagined. There's no dignity is being unnecessarily unhappy and you work on issues by not lying to yourself about why you refuse to do certain things. For most of the people in this thread, it's being afraid, plain and simple.
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Mar 31, 2014 15:07
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Benny Harvey posted:Could a change of drink be in order? For the most part I'm a beer drinker, sometimes vodka. all alcohol is p much the same if you don't feel uninhibited and sexy when you drink try some cocaine. maybe don't be such a fuckin bummer.
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Mar 31, 2014 18:53
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i knew a dude once that could only get laid when he was shitfaced and smoking crack. good looking, good income, couldn't talk to the ladies unless he was smoking crack.
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Mar 31, 2014 18:55
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:i knew a dude once that could only get laid when he was shitfaced and smoking crack. good looking, good income, couldn't talk to the ladies unless he was smoking crack. Do you know where he is in life now?
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Mar 31, 2014 19:05
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he's married with kids now. we were having a dumb political argument on facebook and he sent me a link to cite something but he accidentally posted a link to a forum about smoking crack (not sa) where he was making a bunch of posts trying to figure out where to score in bumfuck arizona. so i guess he's still crackalackin'.
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Mar 31, 2014 19:09
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[TELL] me about not being a virgin anymore, also how to stop smoking crack
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Mar 31, 2014 19:12
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disregard my earlier advice to take cocaine, probably.
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Mar 31, 2014 19:37
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:disregard my earlier advice to take cocaine, probably. If love is a chemical reaction I've been addicted to cocaine for 4 years. Wish she'd feel the same. Roller coaster.
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Mar 31, 2014 19:42
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Forceholy posted:Doctor Nerdlove Both of these are good resources. Manson should get a copy editor though.
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Mar 31, 2014 20:37
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At 29 years old, it's hard. When I was younger, the people who knew were always telling me it would happen eventually, that I just needed to chill out about it. Now though, it's like this massive Gundam sized skeleton in my closet. You have this intrinsically lower value as an adult virgin, everyone who finds out about it... it's not even just an assumption at this point. People just know there's something wrong with me when it comes up. I mean, some people are nice about it, there's always advice, and I've tried it all. It's not even that I can't talk to women. It's that there is some intangible scent of desperate virgin that I simply cannot get rid of. People can tell, and I have no idea what it is I'm projecting. I've changed my image, I've found new groups of friends, but when you get right down to it I think I'm really just that unlovable. Either that, or I'm just someone with some remote level of standards and I don't meet any myself or something, and so the people who might have me are people I wouldn't want anything to do with. I even tried converting to Christianity, flirting with girls who want to wait until marriage. I know most of my friends thought that was crazy (it was) but I just thought that hey, it's like guaranteed sex some day! Yeah people have to want to marry you first. Ooops. The longer time has gone on, the less appealing even trying is. I mean, gently caress it, if I'm going to be alone at least I can still fill my time with entertaining things, work a job I enjoy (someday I'll have one I hope) and save up money for a fleshlight. I've heard they feel pretty good. There comes a point in a man's life when he realizes he's just not compatible with romance. And before anyone starts thinking "well, we can work on that" just don't. Seriously. I've tried it all. I take every preparation. I have boxes full of manga, they all go in the attic before any date. No one ever wants to come home. I have tried online dating varying from whacky to cool and down to earth (I thought) and I have never gotten a single reply. I don't even think I'm really ugly, my clothes are clean and I smell nice (I think) but my personality...there's something fundamentally wrong with me and so there's a mixture of desire to change and resentment at the world for hating me for being myself and not even really having the courtesy to explain why. I will say, that I have no idea what the hell a signal from a woman would be or how to interpret it. I can chat about work or the weather or pop culture, but I have no idea when eye contact is "I like you as a person" and when it's "gently caress me now!" and when it's "You disgust me and I hope you fall off a cliff before you say another word to me you horrible piece of poo poo of a human being" and when it's "Oh, I thought you were a mannequin, but you moved... hi?" I can't make a move to save my life. My dad was abusive and my mother nearly killed him for it, and after being raised by what I would describe as a hardcore feminist (she has a blog that some site named Jezebel links to sometimes) I'm absolutely terrified not of women but of doing something that would anger one. All of my mom's friends are the same, they take Aikido together and when they think I can't hear they share stories about going out to clubs and kneeing guys who get too friendly in the balls and stuff. I know not all women are like that, but I've got no idea what to do when I have had guys telling me it's my job to make a move my entire life and my mom and her friends on the other side telling me that making a move without permission can result testicular trauma. Plus, I don't want to like read signs wrong and do something and have it be a crime. So, basically, I need a woman to make a move and no one ever has. They don't tell me "Hey, you're cute I'd like to do ____ with you" or even really give me clues I know how to interpret. And so I've pretty much given up. I wish I were gay. I tried looking at gay porn for a few months once upon a time when I was younger, and while it's not like offensive I just have zero enthusiasm for penises. They don't look like fun, I can't stick my penis in another penis, can I? (Please do not tell me if this is actually possible and someone has done it somewhere) and anal sex is just...gross. Ew. So that's my story, depressing as it is, I still find fulfillment in seeking an ever widening circle of degenerate kinky porn. CBT is kinda hot. I hate myself for saying that even, but it is.
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Mar 31, 2014 20:43
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you can absolutely stick a penis in another penis. ask me how.
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Mar 31, 2014 20:49
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Do you have problems reading any facial expressions or just women's to be specific?  Callin it
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Mar 31, 2014 20:52
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Veskit posted:Do you have problems reading any facial expressions or just women's to be specific? I think just women's. Either I inspire absolute neutrality/boredom or I'm too worried about loving something up to read anything that isn't blatant and over the top. But I could read a smile pretty easily and I never get them, soooo...
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Mar 31, 2014 20:59
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There was some conversation earlier about how there are some gay guys don't really do the whole anal sex thing either, just oral or whatever. But if penises gross you out or whatever, there's an outside chance that you're just not gay.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:03
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post your pic the spirit fox
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Mar 31, 2014 21:04
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Nah on the pic. If I were just hideous, I'd never get a date. I've gotten dates, they just go nowhere, ever. I mean, I don't think I'm handsome or anything but I'm also pretty sure I'm not ugly as hell and realistically I don't need anything else to be super insecure about so I'll just chat about my ability to take a girl out for Hibachi and somehow be so off putting that she doesn't even smile when the cook makes a volcano out of onion rings and some kinda oil and lights it on fire.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:08
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TheSpiritFox posted:Nah on the pic. If I were just hideous, I'd never get a date. I've gotten dates, they just go nowhere, ever. I mean, I don't think I'm handsome or anything but I'm also pretty sure I'm not ugly as hell and realistically I don't need anything else to be super insecure about so I'll just chat about my ability to take a girl out for Hibachi and somehow be so off putting that she doesn't even smile when the cook makes a volcano out of onion rings and some kinda oil and lights it on fire. It sounds like you might be excessively hard on yourself. Like your first date might not be magical and the girl might not melt all over you, but do you follow up and ask them on another date?
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Mar 31, 2014 21:12
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amarantinesky posted:It sounds like you might be excessively hard on yourself. Like your first date might not be magical and the girl might not melt all over you, but do you follow up and ask them on another date? Sometimes. Phone calls, voicemails, and texts pretty much universally go unreturned. When I do get a message back it's usually something along the lines of "I have a boyfriend" or "I just wasn't feeling a spark" but those responses are really rare. Every once in a while I'll try to provoke a response, kinda request some explanation if they're willing to give on. I say "Please" alot and explain my situation a little hoping that they'll feel charitable and give me some critique, but no one I've gone out with ever does.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:15
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TheSpiritFox posted:Sometimes. Phone calls, voicemails, and texts pretty much universally go unreturned. When I do get a message back it's usually something along the lines of "I have a boyfriend" or "I just wasn't feeling a spark" but those responses are really rare. Every once in a while I'll try to provoke a response, kinda request some explanation if they're willing to give on. I say "Please" alot and explain my situation a little hoping that they'll feel charitable and give me some critique, but no one I've gone out with ever does. That just sounds extremely desperate and demanding, it's not surprising they wouldn't return your messages. What kinds of things do you talk about on dates? It sounds like you might just discuss a lot of negative things.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:17
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It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:20
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women. oh boring nevermind, thank you for letting me know!
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Mar 31, 2014 21:22
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Anne Whateley posted:It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women. but which is the real SpiritFox...
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Mar 31, 2014 21:22
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i was really suspicious but it would've explained so much
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Mar 31, 2014 21:22
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Shannonmcn posted:but which is the real SpiritFox... yeah it's the internet, maybe this was his one chance to express his true struggles. 
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Mar 31, 2014 21:24
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:Edit:Anne Whateley posted:It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women. God drat you Anne. That was not a copy paste I had anime, mom's basement, no job, wierd sexual kinks, and mom's basement set up and was working on "complete lack of awareness of topic appropriateness" in the works. :Edit2: Mom's basement mention 2 was supposed to be something else but I can't remember what now. TheSpiritFox fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Mar 31, 2014 |
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Mar 31, 2014 21:25
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Just share the source instead of making other people effortpost!
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Mar 31, 2014 21:28
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TheSpiritFox posted::Edit:
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Mar 31, 2014 21:35
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Nevermind dude is dumb
Veskit fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Mar 31, 2014 |
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Mar 31, 2014 21:36
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I was a virgin up to 28. I went the traditional route got semi arranged married divorced her and have had a three some a couple of times after. Ask me something. There is a post in the online dating thread towards the last few pages on my experience with arranged marriage.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:37
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IronicDongz posted:You could've spun posting about loving women elsewhere as a fabrication because you're insecure and posturing, step up your game Someone would have gone back and started pulling Goon Virginity Megathread quotes and it would have unraveled really quickly.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:37
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TheSpiritFox posted:Someone would have gone back and started pulling Goon Virginity Megathread quotes and it would have unraveled really quickly. You gotta commit to this poo poo, brother. Go big or go home.
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Mar 31, 2014 22:04
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let me tell you about fakeposting,
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Mar 31, 2014 22:05
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