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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Coward posted:

The game eventually ended when two of the players had enough of the DM's bizarre goblin pet character, a guide helping the players who was obviously meant to be screamingly funny with painful homophobic humour. After the latest attempt at lisping juvenile bum gags, they nodded to each other and declared surprise attacks on it. The DM couldn't really do anything about it and was at a loss for why anyone would do this, and the game fell apart as everyone took a turn taking out their frustrations on the goblin.

So their response to a homophobic caricature of an effeminate homosexual was to gay-bash it to death? :stare:

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XyloJW
Jul 23, 2007

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So their response to a homophobic caricature of an effeminate homosexual was to gay-bash it to death? :stare:

I don't think it's gay bashing to get rid of an offensive stereotype.

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So their response to a homophobic caricature of an effeminate homosexual was to gay-bash it to death? :stare:

I don't think they are killing the goblin because it was gay, but because it was an annoying little poo poo. I don't know, I wasn't there.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So their response to a homophobic caricature of an effeminate homosexual was to gay-bash it to death? :stare:

The goblin wasn't actually gay, dude. It didn't exist.

Chaltab
Feb 16, 2011

So shocked someone got me an avatar!
So in my D&D game the party was approaching a neighboring country, but found it blockaded by dozens of enormous spaceships. Specifically, ships from the Imperium of Man. The country they were about to enter is known for being the home of a powerful incarnation Time itself, a person who governs the flow of time born there into every generation, and the Imperium has made it known that they want to take this person alive for their own ends.

So as part of an effort to end the blockade, the party, which consists of a Ranger, a Drow Sorcerer, a Minotaur Warden, a Warlord, a Revenant, and an Invoker (level 15 all) board the flagship and fight their way from the brig to the bridge, and encounter the God Emperor of Mankind. The party learns that (obviously) the Imperium of Man is from another reality and that they're trapped in the world of the party--they have a spelljammer device and could get back to their own world, but they have no idea what period of time they'd arrive in. They want the Time-incarnation to guide them back to the correct year. Normally this party has a tendency to help even their enemies if it means a solution that involves less killing. They even negotiated with an enemy that started a war on false pretext when the war started going badly for said enemy.

Not this time. They make a token effort to get the enemy to stand down, but when that fails they kill everyone on the bridge, and smash the God Emperor and the Golden Throne into the ship's reactor (which they also smash) destroying him.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Chaltab posted:

So in my D&D game the party was approaching a neighboring country, but found it blockaded by dozens of enormous spaceships. Specifically, ships from the Imperium of Man. The country they were about to enter is known for being the home of a powerful incarnation Time itself, a person who governs the flow of time born there into every generation, and the Imperium has made it known that they want to take this person alive for their own ends.

So as part of an effort to end the blockade, the party, which consists of a Ranger, a Drow Sorcerer, a Minotaur Warden, a Warlord, a Revenant, and an Invoker (level 15 all) board the flagship and fight their way from the brig to the bridge, and encounter the God Emperor of Mankind. The party learns that (obviously) the Imperium of Man is from another reality and that they're trapped in the world of the party--they have a spelljammer device and could get back to their own world, but they have no idea what period of time they'd arrive in. They want the Time-incarnation to guide them back to the correct year. Normally this party has a tendency to help even their enemies if it means a solution that involves less killing. They even negotiated with an enemy that started a war on false pretext when the war started going badly for said enemy.

Not this time. They make a token effort to get the enemy to stand down, but when that fails they kill everyone on the bridge, and smash the God Emperor and the Golden Throne into the ship's reactor (which they also smash) destroying him.

Well, you should run Black Crusade for them next.

XyloJW
Jul 23, 2007

VanSandman posted:

The goblin wasn't actually gay, dude. It didn't exist.

Notable Gaming Experiences: The goblin wasn't actually gay, dude. It didn't exist.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

XyloJW posted:

Notable Gaming Experiences: The goblin wasn't actually gay, dude. It didn't exist.

Seconding this.

Coward
Sep 10, 2009

I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure



.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So their response to a homophobic caricature of an effeminate homosexual was to gay-bash it to death? :stare:

Er... in case you're being serious, the sudden murder was a protest at how awful the DM and the game and the character was, not the violent fear-fuelled persecution of a minority (whether it existed or not).

It was also to derail the plot and get them out of it. I think the goblin was the guide leading them to the next part of the railroad so killing it would remove any motivation for continuing with the plot or even knowing where they would have to go next. I guess part of it too was to see how the DM reacted when his pet character that was so hilarious and zany was killed.

I suppose they could have talked to the guy about the game, but the fact that he wasn't acknowledging that there was a woman playing the game kind of suggested that approach might not work. My friend still says she was far less offended than my other friends at the game, since she was more bemused at how bizarre the whole situation was.

Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

Chaltab posted:

Not this time. They make a token effort to get the enemy to stand down, but when that fails they kill everyone on the bridge, and smash the God Emperor and the Golden Throne into the ship's reactor (which they also smash) destroying him.

Well we were GOING to give the Emperor a chance to talk when the reactor started going critical, but then he just HAD to pull out the Imperium racism and call the Ranger a 'filthy elf'...

SpookyLizard
Feb 17, 2009
That sounds like it's the ranger's fault for being a filthy loving xeno.

Addamere
Jan 3, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dick move xeno PC dudes.

Phrosphor
Feb 25, 2007

Urbanisation

My Best/Worst story requires a bit of background before I get into it, so apologies for the long post.

Back in my formative university years I joined my campus gaming society, which had a solid 50+ members and ran multiple games twice a week in the student union. I have a few stories from that time, but most relate to stuff outside of games rather than in the games themselves. (people who play tabletop games are fascinating)

At the start of each semester the GM's would do a little background on what games they wanted to run, then people would go and hang around the gm they wanted to play with. Occasionally this would result in a game being over-subscribed, like my first ever DnD campaign with 8 players in the party.

The GM was running a 3.5 game set in the Wheel of Time universe, and he had the various splatbooks for the setting. I had been reading the Wheel of Time books in my final few years of school so was really excited to play a game in a universe I was so familiar with. Looking back the whole thing was a recipe for disaster - if it wasn't for Adam

Adam was working on his second degree and was the oldest person at the table apart from the GM who was an ex-student (a lot of the society members were folk who had been students and were still living in the city in various stages of employment). Adam decided to play an Aes Sedai, a trainee Aes Sedai. In the Wheel of Time universe, magic causes the male practitioners to go crazy very quickly, and they are generaly very very powerful sorcerers. The female casters rule the world in the background, no ruler would dare not listen to their council and they round up every girl (and boy) with an ounce of power and take them away for indoctrination training.

Adam basically herded the whole group, acting like an Aes Sedai would, except he was actually on the run and had no official power. It was a lot of fun, especially when one day the party bumped into some actual Aes Sedai who knew exactly what Adam's character was and he had to spend the whole session making tea and fetching wood. Acting as a servant in front of the people he had been bossing around for months.

There was an other player in the party, David. David had a reputation for being a powergamer, David's signature on the society forum listed how many PK's he had under his belt and how many TPK's he was responsible for. David wanted to play an Aiel. In the game universe the Aiel are a supremely martial people who live in a desert on the other side of a really nasty part of the world. They basically never interact with the 'wetlanders' and in terms of approximate power level it would be like having a Space Marine in a Dark Heresy game.

Adam and David butted heads all the way through the campaign. David's goal was to become a male wizard, and the GM actually managed to give that destiny to another player at the last moment, after that player backstabbed David's character with a horse and stole the magic item he was going to use to do it. David would frequently get bored when the rest of the party were planning what to do and go off and try and do it himself. One week he tried to assault a Whitecloak army camp on his own and got really annoyed when they caught him very quickly, tied him and taunted the party that they had him. We were very close to just leaving him with them.

Things between Adam and David came to a head, however, when we went to Sheffield for the Annual Student Roleplaying Nationals. The nationals were really an excuse to get totally wasted in another city for a weekend. However the nationals were officially 3 days of 1 off games to find the best roleplayers. You picked a system, got a different gm and random character each day and you had to roleplay you heart out. At the end of the event the gm's voted for whomever they thought was the best roleplayer and they won the prize for their game.

Adam was in his final year of his second degree, and was determined to go home with the prize for best roleplayer in the UK. He was certain he could pull it off. From our group, myself, Adam and David all went down to compete in the DnD category.

DnD was always very popular, so there 4 games going on each day, and none of us ended up in the same game. Highlights for me involved a very low intelligence Orc Barbarian being given a Wand of Wonder by a Fae, a Gnomish Paladin having a 20 minute argument with a Wizard on why it wasn't a good idea to extended fireball a halfling village from a cliff overlooking it "because they are just barbarians" and a GM pulling his hair out after our party was stuck on a puzzle for 40 minutes that he expected us to take 5.

Every evening David tells us that he managed to kill a player in his game. Every day his objective was to kill somebody else. And he did it each day. One of the DnD games was some sort of weird Xmen crossover and he turned it into a full day of pvp fighting somehow.

The last day comes around, we all play a shorter game and shuffle into the main hall to announce the prizes and winners. As they announce second and third place winners from other universities I can see Adam getting excited. Then they get to first place:

"And all the way from Dundee," Adam grins "our Dungeons and Dragons student national champion - it's been a long time coming this is his third year here..."

Adam stands up.

"David!"

Everyone looked at Adam, and he was red. He told me later that he just wanted to punch him, but he knew it would be stupid to get into a fight over a roleplaying game. He stayed standing and just watched the man he loathed go and collect his prize, a bunch of splatbooks and dice. Then David returned to where he was sitting, which was with the rest of us from our uni.

"Well played mate" he says to Adam, then holds out his hand. Adam stares at it for several seconds and then shakes it, before storming out of the room. We found him later sitting behind some bins in the car park. He was too angry to go back inside.

I had to sit in the car for the 10 hour drive from Sheffield back up to the North East of Scotland with Adam. The torrent of abuse was unending. He didn't stop swearing and cursing until we got back to the city.

Sheffield will forever be known as "Cthulhu's distended anus" in my mind.

Phrosphor fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Apr 11, 2014

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
These are the reasons why I get one of those eyebrow twitches whenever someone brings up 'best roleplayer' or 'MVP' awards for gaming.

HiKaizer
Feb 2, 2012

Yes!
I finally understand everything there is to know about axes!
More than anything else who cares who the "best" roleplayer is? As long as everyone has fun at the table that is the important thing. Some people have fun differently, but really you should just be there to have a good time. Making a competition like that just sounds like it is asking for trouble...

J Miracle
Mar 25, 2010
It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!
That and you can't roleplay by yourself really so why give one person the award? An awesome improv comic can still be brought low by a partner that gives them nothing.

Phrosphor
Feb 25, 2007

Urbanisation

Which is basically why I had a great time, getting very drunk and playing gnomish paladins while hungover. And they both went into it serious business.

"Adam" actually went on to win the UK Magic the Gathering nationals a couple of years ago. I think he wore a crazy green and blue stripey wifebeater and shorts with a cap while he did it.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Phrosphor posted:

Adam and David butted heads all the way through the campaign. David's goal was to become a male wizard, and the GM actually managed to give that destiny to another player at the last moment, after that player backstabbed David's character with a horse

Backstabbed him while riding a horse. Or wielded a horse as a weapon and shoved it through his back?

MagnesiumB
Apr 13, 2013
Desperately hoping for the latter.

Skyscraper
Oct 1, 2004

Hurry Up, We're Dreaming



Simultaneous flanking attacks from both man and horse.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

If future games didn't involve having to hunt down the fearsome blade Mr. Ed which is said to wander the earth under its magic powers before discovering that Mr. Ed is a horse of course of course this whole story was for naught.

Ettin
Oct 2, 2010
So there's this big IRC gaming server I hang out on. It's a pretty cool place, but I'm not here to tell a cool gaming story. This is a story from a few years back about a guy named Huck.

Some background: Huck was basically an enormous manchild. He thought he was an infallible genius and everyone else was an idiot, and kept trying to get people to give him authority. One time he joined a channel where opers handled complaints from users and tried to do it for them until they forced him out; another time he told everyone he'd been fired for STANDING UP FOR WHAT WAS RIGHT, and it turned out he'd refused to wash some tables because they might still be damp when the customers arrived. And he was creepy as gently caress.

If he sensed a woman nearby, Huck hopped into the cockpit of his Creeper Gundam and leapt into action! He insisted he had some kind of empathic power and would just sort of hover around them, casually reminding them that he was there if they needed any help. He treated women who liked things he found "immoral" like damaged goods who had to be saved from themselves, and if anyone rebuffed him he got hostile incredibly passive-aggressive (like using male pronouns to refer to a trans woman because she disagreed with him about politics).

Also, he was super into erotic roleplay.

(:frogsiren:)

The first time anyone heard about it was when he burst into the server's lobby channel and went "Hey guys, this person doesn't think erotic roleplaying can be romantic, what do you think?" before dumping logs of an ERP session he'd had. Mysteriously he was made fun of instead, possibly because they contained the phrase "a cool breeze blows by and ripples upon her exposed anus".

Undeterred, Huck set up his own IRC erotic roleplay channel. It's a big server, so he managed to rustle up enough people interested in popping a boner to actually run something. Eventually, he announced that he was running an erotic game in Pathfinder, and invited people to check out his channel and spectate.

Normally I wouldn't give a poo poo, but this wasn't a normal game - this one was GMed by a dude who once asked if anyone had the contact info of a girl who had flamed out of the server because she "seemed distressed" and he wanted to help her. If there was anyone who could run the Dominic Deegan of erotic roleplay, it was Huck. I quietly slipped into the room, and began my erotic roleplay safari.

Somehow this game was not as great as advertised.

Huck had a GMPC. He was a bard who was adored by everyone and kept quoting Coldplay songs, and the other players basically became his personal harem. His GMPC got all the action and had special time-out scenes with the various PCs whose players he wanted to gently caress, and everyone else got to watch. In between his GMPC wetting his dick, they spent entire sessions on things like shopping and having dinner. It was tedious as gently caress - I ended up bailing and having someone call me if it got interesting, and I wasn't even there expecting to masturbate.

Eventually his character plowed the party warlock or whatever, and things got weird. See, Huck didn't know how vaginas worked. I'm not saying you need to be an expert sexhaver to cyberfuck someone, but a working knowledge would be nice. Huck seemed to think that his bard could pleasure someone by jamming his hand in there and playing her like a lute, that his huge GMPC dick could reach the entrance of her womb, and that oral sex involved blowing cold air on it. When they were done the other player announced "well, guess I'm pregnant now", and that's where things got really weird.

Huck the Sex Guru turned to her and said no, all she had to do was wash it out with soapy water.

When she convinced him that no, you can't wash the pregnant away, he shrugged and said she just had to press a certain part on the inside and her body would just sort of flush it out.

She told him that vaginas do not have a gag reflex, and she was going to get an abortion. That is when Huck got weird. The idea that someone might abort his GMPC's fictional baby almost had him acting like someone was talking about his actual kid. He ended up outright pleading with her out-of-character to keep his baby.

They worked something out, but the campaign didn't last long. Everyone was getting bored, and Huck was a terrible GM even by erotic Pathfinder standards. It got so tedious and frustrating that two players decided to continue playing after Huck had wrapped a session to bang each other's characters, and when Huck found out, he got mad. He declared the whole thing non canon, because not only was the GM not there to "oversee things", but he didn't think it was possible for one character to find the other's inn room without OOC knowledge. Not all was lost, though - he magnanimously allowed the scene to be canon, if they provided him with logs and worked with him to make sure it could happen without ruining his suspension of disbelief. Dice rolls may have been involved.

One of them threw up her hands and walked out of the game, the other guy followed, and that was the end of that campaign.

Huck tried to start another one, but the server admin saw him advertising his "erotic" channel in the main lobby again and decided to make it so it kicked you from the server if you tried to join it. Later he was finally banned from the server for telling an oper that she should let him help admin because she obviously needed it, and his erotic dreams were crushed forever.


And that's the time I spectated an erotic Pathfinder game.

Ettin fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Apr 12, 2014

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Ettin posted:

Huck the Sex Guru turned to her and said no, all she had to do was wash it out with soapy water.

When she convinced him that no, you can't wash the pregnant away, he shrugged and said she just had to press a certain part on the inside and her body would just sort of flush it out.

She told him that vaginas do not have a gag reflex, and she was going to get an abortion. That is when Huck got weird. The idea that someone might abort his GMPC's fictional baby almost had him acting like someone was talking about his actual kid. He ended up outright pleading with her out-of-character to keep his baby.

:catstare:

This is why we avoid IRC roleplaying boys and girls.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

IRC roleplaying is okay, you just have to pretty much veeery carefully weed out the creepers and lunatics.

I absolutely cringed at the "Can't you just push it out?"

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Christ, that reminds me of another of my hilarious experiences running Adeptus Evangelion near its main IRC channel. We had one guy who none of us knew in person who joined the game, and he seemed okay at first, until he realized 4 out of the 5 characters in the party were girls. Two because their players were women, two because that just happened to be what two of my friends felt like playing. So this guy immediately assumes the game is going to be a goddamn harem anime, starring him (though it took us a short time to figure it out).

Now, no-one else in the game wanted to really get into romance much. One of the PCs had survived some pretty rough poo poo as a refugee and was written to be twitchy and paranoid, and generally carry a knife with her. Dumbass misses all of that and keeps trying to bear-hug her PC, until she finally let him know OOC she was on the verge of responding violently due to past trauma and he was missing all the signals. Dude just could not get the hint none of the other PCs were interested in putting 'shipping' in the game and they just wanted to play traumatized teens in giant robots fighting Cthulhus and discovering a horrible conspiracy and building their friendships and rivalries. He started assuming the female PCs were all lesbians and 'shipping' them, at which point I just told him to leave and we went on without him. It was like the guy couldn't conceive of a campaign where all the underage PCs weren't boning or characters having close relationships that weren't sexual.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Ettin posted:

"a cool breeze blows by and ripples upon her exposed anus"

Help I can't breathe

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT
Saomebody ashould tell that guy that anuses don't ripple.

At least not healthy, normal, ones.

AceClown
Sep 11, 2005

Man, having a cool breeze ripple across your anus is the worst!

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



Error 404 posted:

Saomebody ashould tell that guy that anuses don't ripple.

At least not healthy, normal, ones.

No it's the breeze that ripples, it just happens to be rippling upon a particularly bare anus.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Ettin posted:

that his huge GMPC dick could reach the entrance of her womb,
Oh god I thought this was just a meme, I didn't think anyone actually believed that. :stare:

Winson_Paine
Oct 27, 2000

Wait, something is wrong.

XyloJW posted:

Notable Gaming Experiences: The goblin wasn't actually gay, dude. It didn't exist.

You are the first person in the history of this website I think to make a suggestion like that when the power to make it happen was inside you all along!

Winson_Paine
Oct 27, 2000

Wait, something is wrong.

Ettin posted:

And that's the time I spectated an erotic Pathfinder game.

See I would have imagined PF erotic players to be more into feat fetishes

Error 404
Jul 17, 2009


MAGE CURES PLOT

Winson_Paine posted:

See I would have imagined PF erotic players to be more into feat fetishes

Ooh baby, I'm almost there show me your CharOp.

Rulebook Heavily
Sep 18, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Winson_Paine posted:

See I would have imagined PF erotic players to be more into feat fetishes

quote:

Lichloved ( Book of Vile Darkness, p. 49)
[Vile]
By repeatedly committing perverted sex acts with the undead, the character gains dread powers.
Prerequisite: Evil Brand (BoVD)
Benefit: Mindless undead see the character as an undead creature. Becoming more and more like an actual undead creature, he gains a +1 circumstance bonus on saving throws against mind-affecting effects, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning, and disease.

Kai Tave
Jul 2, 2012
Fallen Rib

Winson_Paine posted:

See I would have imagined PF erotic players to be more into feat fetishes

Admit it, you spend most of your spare time coming up with feat/feet puns, don't you?

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

Ettin posted:


And that's the time I spectated an erotic Pathfinder game.

I think the best part of this is how he was totally okay with ending the pregnancy in his bizarre conceptions about how pregnancy works, but as soon as she said the word abortion HE HAS TO SAVE HIS CHILD.

Haskell9
Sep 23, 2008

post it live
The Great Twist
A few years back I was a player in a 3.0 IRC campaign wherein the players were each others' primary antagonists. It was set in a magic-and-monster-enhanced version of Earth circa 300BC, specifically in a thriving Kush-like empire that held most of Africa's central eastern coast. We were split into two factions - my group played officials and defenders of a small city bordering the high desert, while the other team played chiefs and shamans of nomadic barbarian tribes that were constantly trying to steal resources from and/or overrun the city and one another. Jason, the online friend who invited me into the game, was playing the chief of a tribe that worshipped a sort of hillbilly version of Ra.

A month into the campaign my wizard (title: Town Artificer) scored a killer upgrade: the empire's primary advantage over rival nations was its network of permanent magical gates that allowed instant travel among provinces and cities, making trade and troop movement vastly faster and more efficient versus societies that had to deal with primitive nonsense like roads. Thanks to my invention of a fix for a glaring security flaw* in the gates' design and some good social rolls, our small city was declared to be the next node in this web, outcompeting several larger rivals.

* The gates only worked for citizens of the empire. While outlanders could see the shimmering silver teleportation field, they would step through it to no effect unless they were carrying a special token. Careful questioning revealed that the tokens were completely unsecure; steal a barrel of tokens and you could march an army right into the heart of the empire. My fix was to shift the exception spell from the tokens themselves to a temporary aura given to them by a device that could only be operated by the token clerk. Additionally, there was a little panel in the floor that the clerk could press that would make all token holders reappear 50 feet off the ground in a random place far outside the empire.

The announcement of the gate reached Jason's character, whose tribe was completely out of women and children due to disease and raiding. His character had spent time traveling in Empire cities, so he asked the GM if the chief would know how the gates worked (yes). He then asked for details, grilling him much like I did and receiving the pre-fix token mechanic because that is all the chieftain would know. Jason also perceived the security flaw and persuaded the GM to allow his character to also see it ...and to form an audacious plan to save his tribe.

I didn't know about any of this, mind you, only that Jason was giving me the verbal version of an evil grin in the OOC chatroom. Later in the session the GM called both of us into a private chat and told us that Jason's character was having a vivid dream about ghost-like women weeping in a battlefield full of slain tribesmen of strange appearance, their bodies painted with blue images of the Sun. When I asked him why I was in the room if only his character was dreaming, he replied with a smilie that meant, 'wait and see.'

Well, OK.

Two OOC weeks later and several in-game days after the gate was completed, Jason's entire sausage party of a tribe charged into town and toward the gate, subduing guards and armed citizens on the way with the flats of their swords. The chief's plan was to blitzkrieg to the portal, snatch up a bunch of tokens, then teleport to the inner city at the other end and grab its (contrasting the border city) unarmed women willy-nilly over their shoulders, then race back through the gate and out into the desert before the guards or military could mobilize. They were being careful not to kill anyone to avoid reprisal by the imperial army, reasoning that they wouldn't bother with what to their barbaric perspective was a property crime.

The war party reached the clerk and threatened him, received tokens and ran toward feminine riches.

After describing the chief's triumphant charge through the portal with his sword held high and his raiders following behind, the GM cut to the priestesses of the village from the dream chanting and dancing to the beat of drums, pleading at the shore of their sacred lake for their god to intervene before the other tribes could carry them all away now that their husbands had been slain. The GM liked to link youtube videos to add musical atmosphere. Just as the priestesses reached the height of their ceremony, he linked this and started typing from their perspective as dozens of heavily-armed warriors started falling out of the sky, their skin 'seared black by the Sun's holy favor.'

I can't do justice to the hilarious verbal imagery with which the GM described bewildered desert nomads Wilhelm Screaming into a lake, then floundering to shore and being greeted by a throng of pale women who are filled with joy at their arrival and bedecked with icons of the Sun. The whole time Jason and I were loving dying. The vid linked above isn't the precise one he linked, but it's the same song, at the same time, and the timing was glorious. I OOC-explained to Jason how I'd scored the gate in the first place and he about died laughing again. His character, of course, assumed what the women did: that Hillbilly Ra had totally come through like a bro. I think his tribe gained a + to hit mod or something when it was sunny out due to their rock solid faith in their god.

I left the private room after that and Jason's game forked off into his character facing the challenges of being the new chief of a Celtic tribe. IC I received a boost in influence with the government and the imperial magistry, with a trace of suspicion that my character had staged the raid as proof of concept. He totally didn't, but that didn't stop the other players' characters from needling him about it. I had to bow out after that campaign due to returning to school, which is a damned shame because the GM was running his campaigns sequentially in the same world, each one taking place a century or two after the one before it so players got to play in the aftermath of their previous characters' alterations to the world. According to Jason they continued on to 1200AD, when the GM had to bow out due to illness.

My character's failsafe caused shenanigans a few more times down the road, including getting a Hebrew trading caravan dumped in the middle of North America HOHO. Actually the GM cooked up a bunch of ways that historical and pseudohistorical events ended up being the result of PC actions. Jason's 300BC character's arrival in ancient Wales is why the Welsh tend to be dark complexioned. One of the priestesses ascended to avatar status and sank into the center of the lake with the chief's sword held aloft after he eventually died. Jesus turned out to be a PC sorceror, who didn't notice that he was roleplaying Jesus until right before the Big End. "Holy poo poo I'm Jesus!" became a catchphrase for the rest of the campaigns.

And I missed it all due to job retraining! :argh:

Haskell9 fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Apr 13, 2014

Hipster Occultist
Aug 16, 2008

He's an ancient, obscure god. You probably haven't heard of him.


Winson_Paine posted:

See I would have imagined PF erotic players to be more into feat fetishes

Didn't take Skill Focus: loving the Dog?

Well then you can't be in my Pathfinder ERP Game. :colbert:

Addamere
Jan 3, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Games > Traditional Games > Notable Gaming Experiences: "Holy poo poo I'm Jesus!"

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Suleman
Sep 4, 2011

Haskell9 posted:

Brilliance

That's pretty brilliant, man. Great explanations, great imagery. This was all played in DnD 3.0 game? How did the system even work for this kind of game, doesn't seem like an easy fit.

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