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Suleman posted:That's pretty brilliant, man. Great explanations, great imagery. This was all played in DnD 3.0 game? How did the system even work for this kind of game, doesn't seem like an easy fit. Same way as most D&D games out of combat. e:quote
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Apr 14, 2014 01:29
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Ettin posted:In between his GMPC wetting his dick, they spent entire sessions on things like shopping and having dinner. It was tedious as gently caress - I ended up bailing and having someone call me if it got interesting, and I wasn't even there expecting to masturbate. Umberto Eco posted:Well, there is a criterion for deciding whether a film is pornographic or not, and it is based on the calculation of wasted time.
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Apr 14, 2014 08:10
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SpaceViking posted:I think the best part of this is how he was totally okay with ending the pregnancy in his bizarre conceptions about how pregnancy works, but as soon as she said the word abortion HE HAS TO SAVE HIS CHILD. I think the best part of this is the phrase "a terrible GM even by erotic Pathfinder standards".
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Apr 14, 2014 09:49
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Kurieg posted:Backstabbed him while riding a horse. Or wielded a horse as a weapon and shoved it through his back? Nono, the rogue was riding a warhorse which the GM has said previously, when it had been stolen, had a kick attack. The rogue asked that since his backstab was attributed to "Any weapon the rogue was wielding" could he "wield" the horse since he was riding and apply the backstab damage to the horse kick. GM allowed it.
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Apr 14, 2014 10:47
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My Lovely Horse posted:quotes Strangely makes sense, and at the same time makes the campaign seem more awful and boring. Phrosphor posted:Nono, the rogue was riding a warhorse which the GM has said previously, when it had been stolen, had a kick attack. The rogue asked that since his backstab was attributed to "Any weapon the rogue was wielding" could he "wield" the horse since he was riding and apply the backstab damage to the horse kick. That's loving incredible.
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Apr 14, 2014 14:50
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Whybird posted:I think the best part of this is the phrase "a terrible GM even by erotic Pathfinder standards". New thread title spotted.
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Apr 14, 2014 16:42
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Monsterhearts update. Had a player who couldn't join us, so we were joined by a player's husband and an old roommate. I've done so many play recaps in this thread, I'll start from where everyone ended the session: The Werewolf, Levi, and the robot, January, who's running away from home, make up and drive off. Previously, Levi had lost half a pound of weed. Previously, Levi had put that weed on a dead body that he'd helped hide in the janitor's closet. Previously, Levi tried to sell the weed to January...who, when he tried to apply some rough sales tactics, threw him across the hall and dented several lockers. Previously, Levi had agreed to sell the half pound for Charlie, who had shot the Ghoul Virgil the previous day. January was running away from home. After putting a cancel-chip into her Father/Creator's arm. Because someone had crashed into the front of their house. Because she hadn't investigated last session's murder. At home, she advanced on Father... who activated Sigma 7, an EMP protocol, and was ready to lobotomize her and edit her programming. And not for the first time. She was at home because she was being pressured to sell drugs by Charlie... and left school, in her darkest self, to "make amends" with her creator. Who she had already disappointed by being banned from the movie theater. Virgil (NPC'd this session) was home free. Sure, Jane-Elizabeth had tried to kill him. Sure, Frank the Vampire had jumped onto, then into, his car. Sure, Vernon, Frank and Jane suspected he had arranged a beating of Vernon and Jane's brother. Sure, the Dark Power had marked him for death. But still, considering he was shot in the back yesterday, it was a solid start to a weekend! Jane was flying through the air. Cuz Cleo had hit her with a car. Cuz Cleo was defending vampire Frank. Cuz Jane had told Virgil to flee the scene of the crime. (The crime of hitting Frank, who was leaving the hospital.) Cuz Jane was trying to kill Virgil. Cuz the Dark Power had taken her over. Well, to be fair, she had chosen that. Cuz her brother Howard, formerly in a coma, was brought to the Dark Power. (Cuz it got her an XP she needed to level up.) The Dark Power took her over because she took on her brother's madness. (Cuz Howard had chewed out Jared's throat, since Jared was going to spill the beans on Jane-Elizabeth's dark rituals. Which she had only used to find out who had beat up Howard...) Now, if Jane and Levi had done a better job hiding the body, instead of panicking, then Dead-Jared wouldn't have been put in Janitor Elway's closet. And Elway probably wouldn't have told the principal. Who wouldn't have interrogated both of them, and then Howard (who was left outside in the car, and brought in by a teacher who hates Jane). But if they had hidden the body better, perhaps vampire Frank wouldn't have found the half pound of weed that Levi stashed on Jared. The half pound of Weed that mostly scattered when Virgil hit Frank with a car... But I think we've gotten a bit out of order here. Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 07:03 on Nov 9, 2023 |
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Apr 14, 2014 19:08
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Phrosphor posted:Nono, the rogue was riding a warhorse which the GM has said previously, when it had been stolen, had a kick attack. The rogue asked that since his backstab was attributed to "Any weapon the rogue was wielding" could he "wield" the horse since he was riding and apply the backstab damage to the horse kick. That beats the time in my first ever D&D game where some flavour of monk that can use anything as an improvised weapon decided to improvise and use our rogue as a weapon. DM not only let us calculate damage for the rogue striking the target, but also let the rogue take attacks of opportunity during the swing as enemies passed through his threatened squares.
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Apr 14, 2014 20:09
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Nietzschean posted:That beats the time in my first ever D&D game where some flavour of monk that can use anything as an improvised weapon decided to improvise and use our rogue as a weapon. DM not only let us calculate damage for the rogue striking the target, but also let the rogue take attacks of opportunity during the swing as enemies passed through his threatened squares. So you Fastball Special-ed him? Awesome. My Runelords group has devised a way to do that, but with Teleport/Shifting/etc to get our Super Crazy Paladin into Full-Round Attack range of any creature on the first turn without taking AoOs. Everything then becomes a Flesh Blender afterwards.
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Apr 14, 2014 20:31
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B.B. Rodriguez posted:So you Fastball Special-ed him? Awesome. My Runelords group has devised a way to do that, but with Teleport/Shifting/etc to get our Super Crazy Paladin into Full-Round Attack range of any creature on the first turn without taking AoOs. Everything then becomes a Flesh Blender afterwards. My half/full-orc fighter in some kind of D&D in my youth did that with my friend's tiny monk. It was loads of fun. My clearest memory of that orc is of him running away from a failed battle, being skewered on two lances; his dying words: "can't we all just get along?"
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Apr 14, 2014 20:48
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B.B. Rodriguez posted:So you Fastball Special-ed him? Awesome. My Runelords group has devised a way to do that, but with Teleport/Shifting/etc to get our Super Crazy Paladin into Full-Round Attack range of any creature on the first turn without taking AoOs. Everything then becomes a Flesh Blender afterwards. There is a build that a friend of mine made in Pathfinder which allows pretty amazing attacks and movement against multiple enemies. It involves using the combat maneuvers Bull Rush and Cleave, for which Pathfinder introduces several feats, items, and powers to expand and improve what you can do with them (compared to 3.0 and 3.5). I do not remember the exact feats required, but he had a setup involving Great Cleave, which allows you to attack any number of subsequent, adjacent enemies so long as your first (or previous) attack hits, combined with the ability to do a Bull Rush which does not provoke attacks of opportunity whenever he crits, and some other feat that lets him get in a free attack whenever he does a bull rush. So basically he hits one guy, then every guy near him, and hopes for a crit; and, if he is lucky, he can keep dashing around the battlefield bullrushing this guy into that guy, racking up hits. And he had a weapon that automatically cleaved, I think. It is not infinite movement, since I think you can only bull rush one of the guys you already hit instead of just picking one near you, but he was able to hit nearly a dozen guys once with it.
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Apr 14, 2014 20:49
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Barudak posted:If future games didn't involve having to hunt down the fearsome blade Mr. Ed which is said to wander the earth under its magic powers before discovering that Mr. Ed is a horse of course of course this whole story was for naught. I kind of want to use this idea. Have the group encounter a posting to capture/kill an assassin by the name of Edward. All the recent victims have been killed by piercing, as though by a lance, and most of them are found to have been horribly trampled afterwards. Maybe have it centered around the annual jousting tournament...
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Apr 15, 2014 16:08
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Figurine of Wondrous Power - Horse Sword At will, you can transform this item between it's two forms: Form 1 - Horse - It is a horse/pony of suitable size for your character to ride. Form 2 - Sword - This is a +2 Long Sword, when wielded by a character class whose abilities are dependant on riding a mount, the character has access to any class abilities as though they were mounted.
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Apr 16, 2014 10:46
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the_steve posted:Figurine of Wondrous Power - Horse Sword Can you ride the sword?
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Apr 16, 2014 13:34
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Volmarias posted:Can you ride the sword? Yes, but it's not recommended
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Apr 16, 2014 17:08
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Ghost ride the blade.
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Apr 16, 2014 18:18
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mmj posted:Yes, but it's not recommended Ride Check +10 to avoid accidental emasculation.
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Apr 16, 2014 18:36
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I'm running a Werewolf: the Apocalypse game in TGR and a player just tried to talk to someone, forgetting that they weren't in human form, which reminded me of something. Years ago, I was in a werewolf game, and someone tried to talk to an NPC, forgetting that they were in lupus form at the time. So what we came up with was a rule: you could say things in English/humanspeech while in wolf-form, but only if you could find a video of a dog saying it on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM My character threateningly growls "I love you!" My character shouts a warning "I love you!"
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Apr 16, 2014 19:11
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XyloJW posted:I'm running a Werewolf: the Apocalypse game in TGR and a player just tried to talk to someone, forgetting that they weren't in human form, which reminded me of something. World of Warcraft d20 had the tuskarr, walrusfolk who are impossible to take seriously. Showing people this video ground the game to a halt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g4Yb4saA7Y
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Apr 16, 2014 20:57
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Volmarias posted:Can you ride the sword? Only once.
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Apr 16, 2014 23:56
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Really wish I wasn't too tired to write up everything that happened in the final session of Rogue Trader now, when it is still in clear memory. But some highlights from the night: - the warboss literally had 1000 wounds (the combat lasted pretty long) - he was also just as large as his tank was - it was somewhat confusing when he climbed out of its wreckage - the Missionary is apparantely a worse human being than the Tyranid-Hybrid Genetor - he seriously caused the deaths of millions just because he is a dick - I think the last count was 20 million who died just because of his decisions - infinitely respawning orks - magical space adventures with the Weirdboy & other epilogues (including the Kommando's and Genetor's joint project to rebuild an old friend...) - in fact everyone is a huge rear end in a top hat for one reason or another to either NPCs or other PCs - two PCs are BFFs in their hate of a third PC
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Apr 18, 2014 00:35
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SpiritOfLenin posted:Really wish I wasn't too tired to write up everything that happened in the final session of Rogue Trader now, when it is still in clear memory. But some highlights from the night: This is gonna be good. 
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Apr 18, 2014 10:37
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The End We had the grand finale of our Rogue Trader game last night and it sure was something. Final description of the team: The Missionary with his aide Lord-Comissar Bane, clad in more Imperial relics than most Imperial planets even own The Weirdboy, the nutty Ork psyker The Genetor (my character), the mad scientist who has, thanks to implantations and a meeting with something bizarre on a space hulk, turned into basically a Tyranid Hybrid, has four arms and is generally speaking pretty monstrous, even if she has sorta kinda humanish face if you hide the horrible maw filled with razor sharp teeth (which she obviously does) The Kommando, the sneakiest over two meters tall pile of muscle you will ever see (also a Painboy as a hobby) The Pirate Rogue Trader, the former head of the dynasty who came back to help against the Waaaargh, everyone hates him because of several distinct features (the Genetor who is all buddy buddy with the Eldar hates him for raiding Eldar fleets, the Kommando wants his head on his bosspole, the Missionary thinks he's a douche... and well, actually the Weirdboy doesn't seem to care about him strongly either positively or negatively) The session begun with us getting a status report from the Navy commander responsible for handling the communications between fleets and the general organization of the defense effort, and he essentially told us that "we have no idea where Wurldbreaka is, but we do know it is coming towards Footfall, so, uh, fortify that I guess". After giving final orders to the rest of the fleet on how to defend rest of the Expanse, we took some fleets and started fortifying Footfall to the best of our ability in preparation for the arrival of the relentless tide of Orks - and the Missionary called the Battle Sisters from our planet to our aid, ordering them against their wishes. They were less than pleased, but did come in the end - the Missionary had overall authority over them after all. After we had been in Footfall for a couple of weeks, mere days before the arrival of the endless hordes of Orks, someone who was basically the Mayor of Footfall arrived to ask us what were we going to do about the tens of millions of civilians, especially the couple thousand 'important' civilians. The ones who actually cared about them were unsure of what to do (that is, the Rogue Trader and the Genetor), they really couldn't be sent off without an escort and our defense lines were already problematic, the Missionary who seemed to think that being rich is in the genes thought that we shouldn't care about the civilians and just do whatever with them, and the Orks didn't really care one way or the other. After a bout of IC arguing we had to agree that we really couldn't afford to send some of our ships as their escorts, so they would just have to toughen it up. After that was dealt with, with the Missionary basically taking charge of the civilian effort, forcefully recruiting the non-combatants, including children, to militias. We established four pockets of civilians, the Habs, the Spire of Hedonism, the Chapel and the Noble houses inside Footfall proper. The nobles at Footfall proper did not really like how we'd sent some muddy peasants to dirty up both their favourite casinos in the Spire and at their home, but we just told them to shut up. As an early hint of the Missionary's "actually a really, really bad person"-cred, he wanted us to completely abandon the noble areas a bit separate from the actual Footfall main area saying that sacrifices are necessary. He even actually considered bombing the area just so we wouldn't need to care about it. The Genetor was surprised that the Missionary was a worse human being than she is, especially since, you know, technically speaking the Genetor isn't one anymore, and the Rogue Trader agreed with the 'terrible person' assessment. The rest browbeated the Missionary into accepting the overall defense plan, with some defenders at the noble areas, some at the Mechanicus base nearby, and most of the defenders at Footfall itself. Finally, the Orks arrived. First wave caused pretty much no problems, we destroyed all of the ships, but the second, bigger wave with some roks in it did cause some problems... the noble areas took a heavy hit, and a couple of Orks ships managed to bybass us and continue on towards Port Wander, a navy base that's essentially a border station between Koronus Expanse and Calixis Sector. In fact, we ended up not stopping any Orks that attacked Wander, leaving them to the station's defenders, a small navy fleet, to handle. The pressure was constantly mounting up with more and more Orks arriving. The noble areas were pretty much lost, and slowly but steadily more and more Orks got through our defense lines and landed on Footfall - then the Wurldbreaka appeared, spearheading the main Ork advance... and the Warboss decided to assault the noble areas first since he wanted loot. Naturally, we voxed him and challenged him to combat. The Warboss laughed and accepted the challenge, saying that he liked our style. The Wurldbreaka stopped its charge towards the noble areas and started its charge towards Footfall, landing while the majority of us were busy defending against the rest of the Ork onslaught. Similarly, the Missionary decided to be a dick, jumped in a shuttle with a Deathwatch Kill-team and the Battle Sisters, and landed on Footfall before the rest of us. He immediately called forth the actual militias, and the worthless, demotivated militias made up from non-combatants. The GM stated that they were literally useless several times, but the Missionary just kept on calling them up despite them just getting slaughtered again and again. At the start of the land based war in Footfall the Wurldbreaka naturally landed on the Habs, wiping out most of the civilians holed up there immediately, and there were a couple of other ships there as well. The Missionary made his base at the Chapel and assaulted the Ork positions holed up at the landing stations based in north west, eventually taking them out - but losing a couple million civilians for no reason because he forced untrained poor people to fight. He had two strategic turns to fight alone against the Orks before the rest of us would arrive, and he did decently up until the point where he decided to turtle at his base - which would cause the Chapel to be lost eventually, after the Orks retook the landing stations and landed more ships there because the Missionary didn't bother to protect them. He also just plain didn't bother defending the civilians at the Spire, leaving them to the Orks who just murdered them. Total death toll from these two blunders? 20 million. Combined with his habit of sending useless militias into the frontlines... the Missionary was directly responsible for the deaths of most likely around 30 million people. He defended himself saying that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the Imperium, but both the Rogue Trader and the Genetor called out his bullshit since usually you don't just sacrifice people for no reason whatsoever. At one point he ordered some of the civilian militia to come help us attack the Ork positions and they immediately died, despite our attempts to prevent him from sending them. The Genetor repeated her statement that the Missionary is way more monstrous than the Genetor. Anyway, the rest of us had arrived and we focused our efforts on defending the few surviving civilians and the gigantic Emperor's statue in the middle of Footfall. We cleared the entire Eastern sector of Orks, while the Missionary was loving around in the Western sector and letting most of it get destroyed before he ran to our main base with his remaining forces - and he even refused to tell the civilians holed up in the Chapel to get the gently caress out, even if it would have only saved a minority of them. It would have still saved some, but instead the Orks killed all of them. The Wurldbreaka spat out a Stompa that begun an offensive against our mainbase, leaving the Missionary to defend against it with the majority of our forces while the rest of the party were trying to hunt down the Ork Kommando Likvid Snake. The Kommando sort of ambushed us instead of us ambushing them first, and some of our troops died - also the fake-Kommando our Kommando had built did its job and the enemy Kommandos focused all their attacks on it, being rather surprised when it was fake. The Orks literally appeared out of thin air and then disappeared, so they were pretty hard to fight against... Luckily we did eventually find them, and we pretty much decimated them. Our Kommando led the fight against the Orks, the Rogue Trader inspired our troops, the Weirdboy used Psychic lightning to decimate Orks... the Genetor was the last to have to use a skill, and I decided to use my knowledge of Xenos to figure out the most likely place I would be if I was an Ork Kommando Nob. The answer was "behind me right this instant, about to stab me" so I stabbed behind me with one of my weapons and hit Likvid Snake who was right behind me, ready to stab me. Instead he died with a rather surprised look on his face - and then blew up since of course he had planted a poison bomb inside of him. The Genetor survived even if she took a little hit, and we were glad that we had just slain one of the few remaining lieutenants of the Warboss. Meanwhile, the Missionary leads the defense against the Stompa. Against all odds, he manages to cripple it, but doesn't quite finish up the job, being unwilling to sacrifice the lives of the Kill-Team or the Sisters to finish up the job. Our base has to be abandoned, but now finally the Missionary's forces and our remaining forces have met up. We join up for one last assault on the Orks who are occupying the ruins of our base, and the Warboss leading the charge is waiting... We arrive to a scene filled with Orks, all of us geared up to the best of our ability, as ready as we could ever be. Beneath the gaze of the giant statue of the Emperor, in the ruins of our fortifications, we battle against the Warboss and his hordes and hordes of Orks. Trukks, Deff Dreads and Kannons fill the scene, not to forget the hordes of Ork Boyz. The Rogue Trader starts the fight in a Fury, giving us fire support by destroying Ork vehicles every turn, but every time they get destroyed, new ones arrive to the battlefield eventually. We pretty much turtle in the south-western corner of the battle map, killing more and more Orks and destroying more and more Deff Dreads and Ork Trukks... and then, suddenly, the Battlewagon arrived. The enormous Ork attack vehicle fired its Kannon at the Fury bothering most of the vehicles, but didn't hit. This was unfortunate since the Fury, thanks to a lucky roll, oneshot the tank. Most of the crew was ripped apart in an explosion, screaming Orks running everywhere - but then something tore its way out of the vehicle. A gigantic Ork, actually mechanically in the same size class as the vehicle, tore itself up from the wreckage, covered up in all sorts of interesting mechanical upgrades on his Mega-Armour. "How did that thing even fit inside the tank?!", was a common question, and the general agreement OOC was that the size rules are sometimes retarded. Our Missionary immediately issued a challenge to the Warboss, and the Warboss showed just how much he liked our style: he had a personal Tellyporta, and he teleported into melee against us. And then did a special Stomp-attack which could cause us to go prone if it succeeded. The Giant Ork naturally tried to murderize the Missionary first, as is the traditional way of all boss monsters in our campaign, but failed. And then began the slow beatdown of the Warboss. While the Orks and the Missionary were busy trying to kill the Warboss with little success, the main Ork force advanced on us, with the Genetor and the Rogue Trader doing their best to slow them down. The Warboss had called up his Meganobz to join the charge, and things were looking grim and a bit crowded - so the Rogue Trader decided to crash land his Fury into the middle of a giant pile of Orks. The plan succeeded without his death or even the burning of a Fate point! The Missionary did some drugs the Genetor had supplied him, Slaught, and had gotten a nice buff to his speed. He would later use this to run away and hide for a turn, get shot at by a lot of Orks and almost get run over by an Ork Trukk. There was also something mysterious going on, somebody was shooting at our Kommando with way, way, more damaging ranged weaponry than we were used to from single target weapons. Of course nobody noticed this besides the Kommando. Someone was trying to snipe him off, but he kept dodging and just plain surviving the hits. The person responsible was a really good shot at least... Even in the midst of the giant clusterfuck of bodies, the shooter never hit anyone besides the Kommando. The Warboss teleported away from us into the middle of his Meganobs after we'd gone through about 300 of his hitpoints, but of course this really didn't stop us from getting to him thanks to the Weirdboy's teleporting shenanigans. The Missionary had an active nullrod though, so he couldn't come, nor did his part-machine Lord Comissar minion. Which is why they got shot at with a massive cannon - the Missionary dodged it, the Comissar survived thanks to his ridiculous stats, but was knocked out for a few rounds. Still, the rest of us got to the warboss with no issues, and while the Missionary was off running into the horizon (and back) we fought against the Warboss and his minions, the Orks essentially collapsing on us. We killed off the Meganobz, but the Hordes and the Deff Dreads were causing some issues. Both of our Orks had to burn two fate points all in all to survive, and the fight just seemed to go on and on... And then suddenly we did 350 damage to him in a single turn, thanks to ridiculous rolls from both the Weirdboy's Force weapon and the Genetor's Bonesword, which had Drain Life-quality, as in Tyranid version of Force weaponry. The end was in sight. The Rogue Trader hit hard, the Missionary hit equally hard, but the one who hit the final blow was none other than the Missionary's Lord Comissar minion. He climbed on top of the Warboss who had been struck prone by the earlier hit from the Genetor, grabbed the monster's leg with his power fist, and pulled. A crack thundered through the area, and suddenly all was silent. "Heh, dat was a good scrap", the Warboss smiled, and died, his body starting to burn away. We were victorious. The Orks fell silent, looked at each other, and suddenly every hostile Ork started trying to claim that they were the boss now, and they started infighting and completely ignoring the rest of us. The Waargh was over as it turned on itself, its morale broken. 50 million people died in Footfall, mostly because of the Missionary, but we won. Inquisitor Castellan and the Kill-Team arrived to do clean up, and someone else arrived as well... A man clad in a black bodyglove, with an Ordo Malleus emblem on his chest carrying a very distinct sniper rifle. He congratulated us on our success, and told us that his masters had sent him in to help fate, but the Kommando had survived against all odds, so in his eyes, the Emperor's will is not to be denied. The trouble with Malleus was done with, even if they still didn't like us. We had stopped the Waargh, so we were found innocent of our crimes against Malleus. While both Footfall and Port Warden were in ruins, barely managing to hold, they did hold. Some of the millions of corpses littering Footfall were just dumped into space, forming a halo of frozen corpses and Ork wrecks around Footfall. Most of our allies had survived the Waaargh, even if some had taken a heavy beating in the progress - Autarch Kselendros, the leader of the Eldar who had been on our ship had been severely injured for example. One of our spaceforts had been mysteriously abandoned in the aftermath of the Waaargh, the one which had been fortified by Explorator Trannarch - and Inquisitor Solomon, the super shady Inquisitor. Most Astropaths in the Expanse had seen a vision of a scar above that place, so something terrible happened... Winterscale defended his realm with no issues, Chorda suffered heavy losses, but survived, and most importantly, the Waaargh was stopped at Footfall. The survivors of the onslaught had one last ball on board our ship, with everyone celebrating the final victory. The Lord Comissar was celebrated as a hero, and everyone was okay with it - the Missionary almost tried to hog the glory, but thought better of it. There were also talks of how our actual Rogue Trader instead of the Pirate had comissioned action figures, comics and so on to be made based on us and our adventures. I asked her whether they were censored or not, considering, you know, that the Genetor is a Tyranid Hybrid and the Orks are Orks. She answered that of course they wouldn't be censored. In fact, the stories would have a disclaimer that these stories are embellished - obviously there's no way that there's someone stupid enough to stick Tyranid genes into herself, someone who just sacrifices the lives of tens of millions for no reason whatsoever or any of the other really bizarre things related to us. Everyone talks a bit about our plans post-Clover, with most having decided to go off to do their own things, but in the end, it is time for goodbyes. The Weirdboy goes and frees our recurring enemy, Slaaneshi sorcerer Jack Mambo, from his prison on Grace, demanding that he takes the Ork on the adventures he promised. Jack Mambo complies, takes the Orks hands and starts flying off through space, telling the Ork they are going to Screaming Vortex. The Ork is happy, and insane - he starts collecting Squigs he makes from different people he meets in the Screaming Vortex, and states that his goal is making Solomon a squig too. The Missionary and the Lord Comissar head off to Jericho's Reach along with Inquisitor Castellan and the Kill-Team, off to fight against the Emperor's enemies. The Missionary wants to eventually send someone to go kill the rest of us, but it is unlikely to succeed. Oh, and he orders the Sisters to be executed since they were mean to him. I repeat, the Missionary is a terrible person. The Kommando and the Genetor have a small project before they both head off on their own ways (and have made a bond of friendship), the resurrection of the glorious Kaptin Silvork. The two work hard for five long months, but eventually, they have created something, part Ork, part machine, part something else. They pull the lever, electricity gives the creation a spark of life... and Silvork, the Cyborkinator opens his eyes, having returned to the land of the living. The Kommando goes and takes over a small Ork fleet and heads off to 'Undred 'Undred Teef, painting his ships purple and having plans of being the 'sneakiest'. He gets shot down by another Ork Boss onto a different planet, and he intends to build a purple, therefore invisible, bridge from that planet to the planet of his rival Boss. Inquisitor Trachen also follows him, deciding to do some research on the Orks - the Kommando happily takes him and his Jokaero Bubbles on board. The Genetor returns to the service of the radical Inquisitor who is just gleeful about her return, having all sorts of plans for her. His Tyranid projects are entering a second phase as well... The Inquisitor also finds it cute how the Genetor's best friend seems to be an up and coming Ork Warboss. The Pirate Rogue Trader doesn't leave in fact, instead he challenges the actual Rogue Trader, his cousin, to a duel to the death for the warrant. She can't really decline, and she can't tell anyone to fight in her stead instead either since none of the combat monsters are on board the ship anymore, and so she has to accept. Neither the Kommando or the Genetor are happy about this callous murder of Nadeus, and so they both make it a habit to make the Rogue Trader's life hell whenever possible, the first instance of this cooperation being the Ork and the Tyranid Hybrid sealing the Rogue Trader into his room and filling it with three different sorts of gases - none lethal, but all make his life hell. He gets a phobia of doors and removes all doors from his living quarters - still, occasionally, there is still a door stopping him from leaving his quarters, having mysteriously appeared along with stuff like bomb squigs, dangerous gases or other stuff... The Rogue Trader will be forever haunted by the ghosts of his deed of slaying someone of his own blood, but the ghosts in this case are real, and they are an Ork Kommando Warboss and a Tyranid-Human Hybrid - not the most delightful of prospects. Fin edit: typo fixin' SpiritOfLenin fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 11:07
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I've just remembered my 7th Sea campaign, and how the party ended up paying their bar tabs with priceless artworks. In pursuit of a plot McGuffin the party had run a Montaigne naval blockade to reach a besieged Castillian town. The item turned out to be in the hands of a famous artist (as in, wars have been fought over her paintings type famous) who was hiding out in this town because while the siege was up the Inquisition couldn't get in to prosecute her for her blasphemous works. She was adamant that she wouldn't hand the item over. The party takes a pivotal role in lifting the siege (including their Pyryem user making liberal use of his bird and bear forms to do a lot of death from above strikes on Montaigne commanders), suffers some losses, comes back to town as heroes. After mourning their dead and receiving their glories for saving the town they head back to the ship. The artist is there waiting for them: now that the siege has lifted, she says, the inquisition will find and kill her. They broke the siege, aren't they morally responsible for her life? The captain thinks for a moment and says okay, they'll carry her to safety and she can live aboard their ship (the fastest vessel on the ocean), safe from the inquisition, but at a price: The McGuffin, her backlog of paintings, and she gives the first mate's daughter art lessons. She agrees. A few sessions later the group have decided to drink every single drop of alcohol available in an Avalonian tavern, to celebrate the captain's birthday. The next morning they come to settle the tab and realise none of them actually have cash on them. "Hold on," says the quartermaster, "I have an idea!" He runs off to the ship and returns a few minutes later with a frame draped in an old curtain. "This should cover the cost of... well, everything," he says, whipping off the curtain to reveal an original artwork, "do we own the bar now?" How could I say no? So that's how the party got drunk and bought a bar with the equivalent of the Mona Lisa. This was not the last time this happened. Exculpatrix fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 22:21
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SpiritOfLenin posted:Fun stuff. You've inspired me to run my own Rogue Trader campaign. If it's a tenth as fun as yours was, I'll consider it a smashing success. What will your group play next?
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Apr 19, 2014 00:19
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I wrote a long post about how  it was for RPGs to finally click for some of my not-really-tabletop friends, but what I really wanted to say is that one of them decided to deal with a gunpoint situation by ordering the ship AI to unexpectedly blast Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex to confuse the enemy.
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Apr 19, 2014 01:26
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Years ago, I ran Mage: the Ascension for a group at college. It was the second edition with a handful of house rules, like adopting bashing/lethal damage into it and watering down Do as a skill so Akashics couldn't kick as hard as a shotgun blast without using magick at all. The Book of Worlds had just come out and I kind of fell in love with the idea. In Mage, the idea is that once you get beyond the orbit of Mars or so, decades of science fiction have turned the near solar system into an ongoing game of Lovecraft-flavored space opera. In a game where magick is the ability to reshape reality with your mind, and reality is what everyone agrees upon as real, you can get away with a lot when the nearest normal human being is 2 AU from your present location. The idea I had was hemstitched together from an issue of JLA and that one Charlie Brown special where they go on a boat race and the "winner" is the one whose boat actually survives to the end. The Sons of Ether put out word to the Traditions that, in order to challenge the current domination of the internal-combustion engine, they were holding a contest on one of the moons of Saturn. Specifically, it was a drag race, using whatever the individual group wanted to use, and the winner would receive a substantial prize. (It was a bunch of Tass, if you know the system.) The party spent about a month in-game slapping together a race car which ran on, if I remember correctly, enhanced bio-diesel. The crew at this point consisted of: - An Orphan with a paradigm that heavily relied on fantasy fiction, but who had a lot of tech knowledge due to his pre-Awakening career. - A Virtual Adept who was, in retrospect, completely stereotypical in every way. - An ex-military Son of Ether who specialized in weapon technologies. (The player was a gun nut and somewhat of a munchkin, but could often be talked down.) - A Verbena blood mage and doctor. - A 12-year-old Dreamspeaker who'd been raised in very close proximity to werewolves (he had the Kinfolk Merit back before it was a thing) and had internalized some of their worst habits. So three out of the five characters were completely on board with the idea of "let's go have a drag race in space." The other two, the Verbena and Dreamspeaker, chilled out and stayed in the stands to root everyone else on, because they did not perceive this as their "thing." Of course, operational security was not much of a consideration on this whole affair, so the day of the race began and was subsequently attacked by a Technocracy battleship. (It wasn't a full attack fleet for a variety of reasons.) They announced themselves by lasering the poo poo out of the race track, leaving a mile-wide/deep ditch that the surviving racers had to leap over. This necessitated the Son of Ether making "field adjustments" to the car at 180 miles per hour so he could justify a Forces Effect that would throw the car over the ditch; inexplicably he had not thought to install something on the vehicle that would let it jump. At this point, the race degenerated into a fight between the Etherites and the Technocracy, which the players' characters didn't see too much of because they were busy trying to survive the race. Many of the other cars were being destroyed or at least damaged around them, there were enemy spacecraft buzzing the track, and at one point the Verbena and Dreamspeaker got on the race car because the stands had been blown up. Now, here's the thing about how Mage's version of magick works in space: - There's no Paradox at all, no matter what you do. You're essentially outside the envelope of conventional reality and all bets are off. - However, you're also outside of Earth's spirit realm, so anything that deals with summoning tends to tap into meaner, more chaotic spirits than you may be used to, because you're right next door to the Deep Umbra where all the Really Bad Things live. - Normally a botched magick roll is punished with Paradox, but in space, the effect usually backfires instead. There is a common Spirit 3 effect called Free the Mad Howlers which is used as a method of inflicting direct damage to an opponent. You pull out whatever's meanest in the local spirit realm and either send them on the attack or seal them inside the target. On Earth, this would be wolves or bears or something else that was appropriate to the area. The Dreamspeaker's player had used that effect a couple of times so far that session and I had pointed out that while it worked, it was also toying with forces well beyond his comprehension. If anything, it was more effective than usual, but it was pulling out spirits he'd never seen to do ugly, unheard-of things to his targets. Usually he'd be inflicting cuts and slashes; here, he killed someone with it and the body hit the ground as an emptied sack of flesh, eaten from the inside by a spirit he never saw. The Dreamspeaker's player was not very good at taking hints. The car full of PCs was now rocketing across the surface of a barren moon, firing back at Technocracy shuttles and frantically working to keep the race car together. The Orphan pulled off a trick I hadn't seen coming by using Forces to turn radar waves directly into fire, which sabotaged the shuttles' sensors; the radar waves they sent out were bouncing back as thermal. The Dreamspeaker's player decides to get in on that and tries to Free the Mad Howlers on an enemy ship. He botches the roll. Thus he accidentally summons something else, something that was just going to attack the nearest thing with a soul, a malevolent pulsing force that could only be seen in full out of the corner of the eye. Now the PCs are rocketing across the surface of a barren moon, dodging fire from Technocracy shuttles, with a horror from the Deep Umbra perched on the roof. They managed to get it off of the car, which only slightly slowed it down. It caught back up and began to rip apart the back of the car, lashing at the PCs with its tentacles, and grabbed the Dreamspeaker. He goes ahead and botches a couple more rolls while he's back there and suddenly, the people who are trying to keep him in the car only have part of his body. The horror falls away to finish its meal. When the PCs rolled past the finish line, it was in about half of the car they'd started with, held together by Matter effects and field repairs, one character down and in first place by virtue of most of the other cars having been destroyed or otherwise sidelined.
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Apr 19, 2014 21:34
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Wow, Wacky Races got intense. I miss Mage, I can only ever find VtM games.
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Apr 19, 2014 22:34
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Haha, that's awesome. MtA: Redline (The full movie is available on YouTube. If you don't immediately rage at the thought of anime and like crazy deathraces you might want to check it out.)
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Apr 20, 2014 06:54
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VanSandman posted:You've inspired me to run my own Rogue Trader campaign. If it's a tenth as fun as yours was, I'll consider it a smashing success. What will your group play next? This specific group isn't playing anything at the moment, although the same DM has started an Eclipse Phase campaign that has three of the Rogue Trader campaign's players (Me, Weirdboy, Rogue Trader), with potentially the Kommando's player also joining now that RT is over. Me, the DM and the Weirdboy's player are also playing in another local DM's Only War campaign that's fun as well. The DM is taking a slight pause from 40k RPGs, intending to run some sort of campaign next spring, but not yet. Depending on what he runs, its probably going to filled with references to this campaign - all of his 40k campaigns are in the same universe, so what players do matters. Old PCs make occasional cameos as well as NPCs - and there's a pretty good chance that the post-PC shenanigans of the characters could cause issues for future PCs. Silvork the Cyborkinator who never was anything except an NPC is definitely going to reappear, and Jack Mambo as well of course, since the Weirdboy released him from jail. Perhaps the comics mentioned at the end will also make an appearance in future campaigns.
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Apr 20, 2014 16:14
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Old news, I know, but it still meets many standards of notability.
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Apr 20, 2014 16:50
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Yawgmoth posted:Joined a 3.5 D&D game on saturday because it seemed interesting and I'm usually not doing a whole lot on saturdays in the early afternoon. So far, the DM has made about a dozen mentions of this arena fighting league in his campaign world, but has cockblocked every attempt I've made to join it or even meet any NPCs who might help me in that regard. He then throws in a dragon (which are supposed to be super rare) for me to meet, but it blasts me with its breath weapon and runs away when I fail my will save. Apparently I was supposed to pass that will save and have some kind of personal plot development, but because I rolled a 2 I get nothing. And when I told him that if he wanted me to chat with it that he shouldn't have made me roll a will save, he got all pissy because he "knows what [he's] doing when DMing" and signed off. For a while after this, he actually did get better. Not a lot, but at least he was showing improvement. I got a thing that boosted my spell DCs and gave me 3/day reroll an attack/save/skill roll <6, which helps when the dicebot hates the players. We meet this band of orcs and question them about why they're heading to a city known to be running rampant with demons. They play coy so I use Suggestion to get them to tell us what they know. As soon as they talk, they immediately attack because somehow the entirely nonmagical orcs are aware of spellcasting that has no observable components. And they all attack me, to the exclusion of everyone else. Guy in full plate with sword and shield and spikes stabbing us? Nah, kill the druid. Halfling girl in similar armor with sword and bashing the poo poo out of our knees? Nah, kill the druid. Giant loving earth elemental slamming us for decent damage every turn? Nah, kill the druid. Who cares about taking extra hits from the others just to get to her, we gotta kill that druid to the exclusion of all else! So naturally, I dropped after a couple of rounds. And instead of them focusing on anything else that might be impaling them upon sharpened bits of metal and clubbing them with rock fists, one of them does a coup de grace, killing me instantly. And with that, I dropped from the channels and deleted my sheet. Oh, but about 45 minutes later he PMs me and asks if I want to keep playing! I could even come back as a LA +0 undead, because the dead aren't staying dead anymore. How were we supposed to know this? Dunno! It was never mentioned at all by anyone or anything until just then. I told him that if he had mentioned such a plot point at any time before my death I might consider it, but his asspull of a plot point is about 35 minutes too late for me to consider and that explicitly singling out PCs and murdering them at the exclusion of all other efforts is a bullshit thing to do, especially when that PC is trying to advance the loving plot at all. Oh well. I gave him a second chance and he threw it away, and because of it his game is likely not seeing another session because half the remaining players are pretty disgusted by the whole thing.
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Apr 20, 2014 17:01
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Just finished an Eclipse Phase session, in which the sentinel team signed into a simulspace game, 1715, to participate in a whaling party that would lead into their briefing. A key component of the simulspace was being able to take the part of any mob in the area. Which lead to my saying "Whaleboats are lowered, harpoons prepped, and the crew of one of the boats happens to be the captain, the cook, a swabbie, and the ship's cat."
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Apr 22, 2014 02:09
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Dareon posted:Just finished an Eclipse Phase session, in which the sentinel team signed into a simulspace game, 1715, to participate in a whaling party that would lead into their briefing. A key component of the simulspace was being able to take the part of any mob in the area. Which lead to my saying "Whaleboats are lowered, harpoons prepped, and the crew of one of the boats happens to be the captain, the cook, a swabbie, and the ship's cat." Stealing this so hard if I ever get around to actually running Eclipse Phase.
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Apr 22, 2014 18:50
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Wanderer posted:Cannonball Run I know what I'm having the Etherite do to my Cultist's '67 Stingray next session...
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Apr 22, 2014 19:00
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My Pathfinder group recently had to reschedule our weekly meet, causing our session to fall on our local game store's RPG night. "Great" we thought, "We'll get to see some of the other groups that play around here". Once we arrive there is already another pathfinder group set up. There were only two body types at that table, 350+ pounds and starving meth addict. OK, maybe they just look a little strange I'm sure their game is really normal.  Things we overheard during that session: " I bet we can just suck off the orcs and they'll let us pass. The send in the whores strategy always works." "If I put another two points into charisma do my boobs get larger?" The following conversation is done entirely in character, by two men both playing female elves. "Is there a corner I can pee in?" "There's an open door in this room. If you pee here everyone can see you!" "Well none of these buildings looks like a restroom! Let's just split up, you go investigate the goblin mound and I'll go find someplace to piss" As far as I could tell, the story was  orcs kidnapping people. Also I'm pretty sure the peeing thing was something the female DM assigned the characters as the result of a critical failure. We promptly fixed our loving schedules and no longer play on that day.
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Apr 25, 2014 05:56
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Ignoring my better judgement, I've decided to try and join a roleplaying club again, since since I moved to Spain I can't ever get a group together. My experience with clubs is... less than stelar. I pasted my old write-up of my previous experiences on the old thread, but I don't have archives. Anyone around that could dig that up? I'd love to have it, and repost it. It involved a bunch of raped characters, knife guys, pedophilia, castration, furries, Aspergers before it was cool, and a naked man in a bathtub. Not all of those happened in-game. vvv You're awesome, thanks! That thing was originally posted in rpg.net more than a few years back. I didn't know better, ok? double edit: holy poo poo SIX YEARS AGO and all of that happened like 2 years before I wrote it?? 
Hugoon Chavez fucked around with this message at 12:40 on Apr 25, 2014 |
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Apr 25, 2014 12:04
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Hugoon Chavez posted:Anyone around that could dig that up? I'd love to have it, and repost it. quote:Hello all!
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Apr 25, 2014 12:23
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Finnankainen posted:"I bet we can just suck off the orcs and they'll let us pass. The send in the whores strategy always works." To be fair, I’ve actually done this in a “7th Sea” game – hired a bunch of Jenny’s (prostitutes) from a dockside brothel and sent them to a pirate’s ship “compliments of the madam” as a distraction so the group could sneak on board. And it would have worked if it wasn’t for some gunpowder going off...
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Apr 25, 2014 14:41
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CobiWann posted:To be fair, I’ve actually done this in a “7th Sea” game – hired a bunch of Jenny’s (prostitutes) from a dockside brothel and sent them to a pirate’s ship “compliments of the madam” as a distraction so the group could sneak on board. Yeah, but that's a little more "thinking outside the box" and a little less "roll to dodge money shot".
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Apr 25, 2014 15:13
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