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Sundae posted:Do you deal with red tape, bullshit, awful office bosses, and TPS-styled reports? If so, you belong here. How much notice are they looking for, a couple of years. You need to get yourself laid off.
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Apr 17, 2014 15:42
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sbaldrick posted:How much notice are they looking for, a couple of years. You need to get yourself laid off. They're holding him hostage with trumped-up relocation charges that he has to pay back if he leaves or something, yeah? On the other hand, they apparently don't believe in math, so you could probably convince them that asking for a day off after the fact counts as infinite notice due to the cyclic nature of time.
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Apr 17, 2014 15:53
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docbeard posted:They're holding him hostage with trumped-up relocation charges that he has to pay back if he leaves or something, yeah? Hence needing to be laid off. Sunday thinks that he only has to pay the charges if he quits, not if he's laid off or fired.
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Apr 17, 2014 16:13
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docbeard posted:They're holding him hostage with trumped-up relocation charges that he has to pay back if he leaves or something, yeah? "Sorry, but we're looking for infinity plus one notice. Denied."
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Apr 17, 2014 16:32
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One of my previous bosses demanded 8 weeks notice if you wanted between 1-4 days off. It was 12 weeks notice if you wanted a week or more. Usually people would give a minimum of a couple weeks notice when they planned a long weekend. The only exception to this was if you were sick. Unsurprisingly, we had a lot more people call in sick.
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Apr 17, 2014 17:16
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My company is a generally chill place to work at, but good lord, the stories I hear from my girlfriend sound horribly irritating. Recently the inside sales manager hired a dude who is horribly incompetent, going so far as to barely be able to use a computer and complain about the "alpha" females in the work place. The manager was sure he would be great, but it turns out he is pretty awful and can barely manage to do his job. However since he was her first real hire as a manager, she is protecting him as much as possible. So far he has complained about "Jews", unknowingly to a Jewish person, stated out loud that all men designers are homosexual, repeatedly complains about the women in the office, saying they are way too alpha and mean to him and just being an overall misogynist. When people complain to the manager, she just says he is a "good ol' boy" (we are in Texas) and not to take him seriously. When they have company wide sales meetings, the women are sent an e-mail telling them to act appropriately, dress nice and try not to sleep with any of the sales men. The sales men get no such e-mail. They tried to get away with not paying a very complicated series of commissions that would take someone doing some serious research to figure out. When someone actually did it and confronted the old manager about it, she was told to let it go and not say anything. Instead she ended up alerting accounting and the C.F.O. that she would talk to the labor board if something wasn't done. Tens of thousands of dollars were paid back. Two girls lost a laptop full of credit card and customer information at a trade show, mostly because they were drunk and not paying attention. They were not fired and suffered no consequences and the company just made the inside sales team call and let the affected customers know. They randomly have the inside sales team move cubicles, just to shake things up and get to know "new people". Despite all the shady poo poo they do, the company pays an exceptionally good base salary for a sales job, so there is very little turnover. Everyone there knows everybody else and the moves usually end up taking the whole day. Why you may ask? They have workstations that are SPECIFIC TO EACH PERSON. That's right, you can't just login to a local account on the network with all of your stuff, you need to move your ancient, Windows XP workstation, cords and all to a whole new cubicle. IT does not help with this at all either, they are in an entirely different state. I am sure there is more I am forgetting and if they didn't pay so well, my girlfriend would have quit awhile ago. Every time I hear something from there, it just baffles me that such a place can function.
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Apr 17, 2014 17:21
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I have to find a backup to cover me for leaving the office 2 hours early tomorrow. Ugh.
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Apr 17, 2014 17:44
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Hand of the King posted:I have to find a backup to cover me for leaving the office 2 hours early tomorrow. Ugh. 
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Apr 17, 2014 20:11
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Sundae posted:Do you deal with red tape, bullshit, awful office bosses, and TPS-styled reports? If so, you belong here. As annoying as my employer is I can ask to use my time off at least. Also when your free of your relocation shackles let me know sounds like you might consider my employer an improvement.
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Apr 17, 2014 20:55
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Has anyone ever done the Dale Carnegie leadership training courses? Corporate offered them so I signed up even though it means I'll be spending 3 extra hours at work on Thursdays  .
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Apr 17, 2014 21:26
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well I read How to Win Friends and Influence People and it's a lot of common sense. Plus I question how applicable it is to modern business settings. Most of the problems I've had in careers wouldn't have been solved by saying someone's name reassuringly.
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Apr 17, 2014 21:41
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peter banana posted:well I read How to Win Friends and Influence People and it's a lot of common sense. Plus I question how applicable it is to modern business settings. Most of the problems I've had in careers wouldn't have been solved by saying someone's name reassuringly. It's not directly applicable as a specific problem solving strategy. It's applicable as a way to build social capital within an organization, which is very valuable for a) avoiding problems in the first place and b) making sure that the correct people are willing to take your side when high-impact issues arise. I'm not a particular Carnegie fan per se but I think a lot of people that I work with would benefit from reading his work.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:16
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drat Bananas posted:(Do I even belong in this thread? "Corporate" I guess refers to large businesses, but I've been reading the thread like a general "office worker" thread) Don't worry, I think you're fine. I mean, I work in a financial institution, and for the most part don't run into corporate nonsense, save for the "everyone needs to be performing above average" nonsense they came out with a few weeks back. THE RED MENACE posted:Has anyone ever done the Dale Carnegie leadership training courses? Corporate offered them so I signed up even though it means I'll be spending 3 extra hours at work on Thursdays My Aunt who works for a well known outdoor power equipment company has attended his seminars or some kind of workshop involved with effective communication and what not. She says she's going to send me the books. She at least claims it has allowed her to get people involved with projects a little better, mentioning an anecdote about trying to get a stubborn coworker from another dept. involved with a software rollout, just changing how she asked said coworker to get involved made that person more willing to participate.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:40
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Sundae posted:Do you deal with red tape, bullshit, awful office bosses, and TPS-styled reports? If so, you belong here.  On one hand, I'm going to be really happy for you when you get out. On the other hand, we won't have your posts like this anymore. YF19pilot posted:Don't worry, I think you're fine. I mean, I work in a financial institution, and for the most part don't run into corporate nonsense, save for the "everyone needs to be performing above average" nonsense they came out with a few weeks back. Anything new with that? I really liked that one, really embodied the thread.
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Apr 20, 2014 14:37
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Renegret posted:
Not really, boss hasn't said anything about it to anyone. Not sure if that was part of the decision behind who to let go when they dropped four contractors last week, because we're not getting the volume we anticipated.
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Apr 20, 2014 14:56
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YF19pilot posted:Not really, boss hasn't said anything about it to anyone. Not sure if that was part of the decision behind who to let go when they dropped four contractors last week, because we're not getting the volume we anticipated. I'm getting a little nervous myself. My job is to basically escalate outages as they occur. Normally it's pretty feast or famine here, and they keep a relatively large crew on staff for the sole purpose that if a lot of stuff comes in at once, we can handle while maintaining our SLA. However, due to a lot of improvements within the company to stabilize the plant and have fewer outages occur, as well as improved monitoring that greatly reduce our false alarm occurrence, we've been having more famine than feast lately. I'm not worried for my job, but I'm worried that they're going to start piling stupid poo poo on me to fill the down time that prevents me from doing my original important work when it does come up. All this down time, I feel like it's the calm before the storm 
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Apr 20, 2014 15:10
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Around rolls the annual mandatory anti-bribery training. This is an hour long presentation in some sort of proprietary java player, which you cannot skip forward through at all. Thankfully, it doesn't require any user interaction after pressing 'Start' so you can set it and forget it. Then comes the assessment, which requires you to provide the correct answer to 100% of 10 questions. "But how can you pass the assessment without absorbing the lengthy presentation?" I hear you ask. Well, the calibre of the questions might have something to do with it. Anti-bribery Training posted:A client suggests that you should make a monetary gift to a local government official. The client states that "it would be very difficult to say that you are buying any influence as he is already a very rich man". Should you: Hmm. I wonder which it could possibly be. Since all of the questions follow this format, here's an idea: present the assessment first and then, if anyone is dumb enough to fail it, force them to sit through the hour long presentation which repeats the same "bribing people could expose <megacorp> to legal liability" message ad infinitum. Present them with the assessment again, and if they fail a second time they should probably just be fired.
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Apr 21, 2014 21:53
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rolleyes posted:Around rolls the annual mandatory anti-bribery training. This is an hour long presentation in some sort of proprietary java player, which you cannot skip forward through at all. Thankfully, it doesn't require any user interaction after pressing 'Start' so you can set it and forget it. These posts always make my heart hurt because I am an e-learning designer. If they would just do it your way, everyone's lives would be so much better. Or, you know, if they made it meaningful in any way whatsoever.
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Apr 21, 2014 21:56
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rolleyes posted:Around rolls the annual mandatory anti-bribery training. This is an hour long presentation in some sort of proprietary java player, which you cannot skip forward through at all. Thankfully, it doesn't require any user interaction after pressing 'Start' so you can set it and forget it. I just hate it when the questions have more than one right answer, or the question is worded improperly. I had a heat safety training course, and there was a question like this: You notice a coworker is suffering from heat stroke, what is the very first thing you do? A. Call emergency services. B. Cool your coworker down using all that shade, water and ice you have on hand. C. Wrong answer D. Wrong answer The training says to do both without specifying an order, and makes it clear that you need to act fast because it's a life or death situation. So when I get to this question, it's an issue of "well if I have water here now I'll use that then call, since it's going to take a bit for them to get here and they're dying ", but if it's going to take them time to get here, do I instead call them now and forgo immediate treatment until I can act? So rather than let me sit here and wonder, explain clearly which is the right answer and why so I don't have this question in real life. Come on people.
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Apr 21, 2014 22:34
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Protip: when writing a resume, don't start it off with "Resume from the desk of". And you can probably leave off your Windows 98 certificates at this point. Edit: And somebody else sent one with a QR code with his contact info. 
Kreeblah fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Apr 22, 2014 |
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Apr 22, 2014 21:29
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Kreeblah posted:Edit: And somebody else sent one with a QR code with his contact info. I get this from students a lot. I don't know why they think I want to jump through hoops to send them a rejection letter.
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Apr 22, 2014 23:13
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The Berzerker posted:I get this from students a lot. I don't know why they think I want to jump through hoops to send them a rejection letter. Because they want to do something to make their resume stand out?
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Apr 22, 2014 23:33
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Volmarias posted:Because they want to do something to make their resume stand out? QR code might be something cute to do to maybe link to your portfolio depending on what industry you're looking at, but I couldn't imagine doing that for my contact info.
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Apr 22, 2014 23:39
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YF19pilot posted:QR code might be something cute to do to maybe link to your portfolio depending on what industry you're looking at, but I couldn't imagine doing that for my contact info. There is literally no reason to make me get out my cellphone to decode something on a resume, then type it into my real browser to view it on a full sized screen. I view QR codes on resumes as basically including a secret decoder ring puzzle with your resume and going "Well I'm so good, you want to hire me, so you'll figure it out.  " I would argue that the only thing a QR code does to make it stand out is make it really easy to see which ones to delete/trash first.
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Apr 22, 2014 23:49
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QR Codes are new and amazing and technological and all you need to do is look at my Linkedin page to see all the people I have friended and know that I am a quality employee who does not at all live on the internet I don't even know why I bothered with this archaic paper resuhwhatever. Why can't I get a job? 
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Apr 23, 2014 00:20
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My senior year we had a big portfolio review/exhibition type deal and everyone was instructed to include a QR code on their portfolio poster that led either to their LinkedIn account or online portfolio. Potential employers/networking contacts would go around and scan codes and connect on LinkedIn right then and there. No one got a job from it to my knowledge. Sticking it on a resume is tacky, just write out the URL of your portfolio site. It'll look better and not take up as much space.
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Apr 23, 2014 04:05
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I'd be fine with it linking to their LinkedIn, portfolio, or something extra, but basic info like your email and phone number should just be on the resume normally. In my opinion, anyway.
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Apr 23, 2014 04:54
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docbeard posted:this archaic paper resuhwhatever. I'm not a big fan of all the new Web 2.0 type stuff, but while I have a traditional resume I have never sent a hard copy to a potential employer. I've printed an updated version to bring to an interview.. But that's it.
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Apr 23, 2014 05:57
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YF19pilot posted:QR code might be something cute to do to maybe link to your portfolio depending on what industry you're looking at, but I couldn't imagine doing that for my contact info. Especially not when all of the same contact info is typed out right next to the QR code. I seriously don't understand what this guy was thinking. Either way, I didn't bother reading the rest.
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Apr 23, 2014 06:14
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Kreeblah posted:Protip: when writing a resume, don't start it off with "Resume from the desk of". And you can probably leave off your Windows 98 certificates at this point. No joke, my future brother in law put which browsers he uses on his resume.
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Apr 23, 2014 15:50
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Boofchicken posted:No joke, my future brother in law put which browsers he uses on his resume. I reviewed a resume for a guy once who put every type of computer or desktop printer he'd used. Two different brands of inkjet printer.
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Apr 23, 2014 16:11
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detectivemonkey posted:I reviewed a resume for a guy once who put every type of computer or desktop printer he'd used. Two different brands of inkjet printer. I got one of these once. I really wanted to ask the guy questions about his experience with Compaq.
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Apr 23, 2014 18:51
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Apr 23, 2014 19:04
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I'm stuck in a first-quarter web presentation, and our new(?) president of consumer products looks and sounds EXACTLY like the GMan from Half-Life. Put him in a blue suit he'd be almost a dead ringer for the guy. It's so loving creepy. Edit: Ehh... from another camera angle, not so much. He's currently lamenting the weak cold and flu season and how our seasonal medicine sales were down as a result. Sundae fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Apr 23, 2014 |
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Apr 23, 2014 19:17
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Resumes longer than a page belong in the trash though, so that can probably save some time?
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Apr 23, 2014 20:52
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Sundae posted:Edit: Ehh... from another camera angle, not so much. He's currently lamenting the weak cold and flu season and how our seasonal medicine sales were down as a result. Although seeing what you write about them, they would seriously consider it.
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Apr 23, 2014 23:21
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Sundae posted:I'm stuck in a first-quarter web presentation, and our new(?) president of consumer products looks and sounds EXACTLY like the GMan from Half-Life. I got a blister that broke on the back of my heel, and thanks to your posting I thought twice before putting an OTC antiseptic and bandage on it. I was considering just leaving it alone and rolling the dice. (In the end, the antiseptic won out  )
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Apr 23, 2014 23:58
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Solkanar512 posted:I just hate it when the questions have more than one right answer, or the question is worded improperly. A co-worker makes a really vile sexual comment to you. Do you: 1) Ask him not to do that, then go inform your manager and the HR department. 2) Ask him not to do that, then go inform your manager. 3) Ask him not to do that. 4) Do nothing, he was only joking. (pick 1) INCORRECT. You should only inform the HR department as a last resort. Try Again. (pick 2) INCORRECT. You should not go to your manager as a first step; try handling things at the individual level. Try Again. Of course, if you had gone to HR first, it's not as though they would have said "sorry, you have to talk to the guy before we can do anything". But in the world of the test, overreach is wrong.
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Apr 24, 2014 06:06
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THE RED MENACE posted:Has anyone ever done the Dale Carnegie leadership training courses? Corporate offered them so I signed up even though it means I'll be spending 3 extra hours at work on Thursdays If you don't have an exec break down into a neurotic 15 minute rant/mess of fatty-hating nerves, it's a sad excuse for a leadership course. Seriously though, I've heard the Carnegie courses are pretty ok, though slightly dated.
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Apr 24, 2014 19:20
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Miss-Bomarc posted:Or where there's a "wrong" answer which is the "right" answer plus something sensible but not required. Like... According to my recent sexual harassment training, you're supposed to ignore it the first time because only one comment isn't harassment. Then if it becomes a pattern, you speak to him calmly using passive voice and "I" sentences so as not to spook the sexist fuckface into thinking that he's done something wrong and is terrible for doing so. (Also, "no one can argue with an 'I' sentence")
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