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Whitey Snipes posted:and go for upto 3 years. Good news! Universal Credit includes language to increase it to 5 years, and can include your housing benefit.
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Apr 17, 2014 20:18
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Whitey Snipes posted:It hasn't been two weeks for a long time, the "New Sanction Regime" was introduced in October 2012 and basic level sanctions started at 4 weeks (missed a signing), intermediate at 12 weeks (missed a MWA, training opportunity) and severe (refusing a job opportunity, multiple ASE violations) could start at 6 months and go for upto 3 years. Exactly. I have a friend who works for a Jobcentre and she tells me that, yes, there are targets for sanctions (as confirmed in the national press). Things have changed dramatically over the last couple of years. Amount of security staff has soared too. Suspect it's more about stopping anyone embarrassingly setting themselves on fire than protecting staff, though it can't be a picnic having to sanction people. Things really have changed. This is why I kick off when people suggest cuts aren't real. They are, just not happening to your mates because they're not sick etc.
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Apr 17, 2014 20:24
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I sign on in a job centre that has had every single public phone removed. It used to be that if you need to contact the jobcentre, and you're too piss-poor to have a phone of your own to do so (which I am) then you had to go all the way into the center of Cardiff to the job centre there as they were the only ones with a phone nearby. My benefit wasn't paid one fortnight, turns out when I went to the job centre where the phones are to contact them to find out what was going on? Their phones have been removed too! Now if you need to contact the job centre, you have to go to the first floor of a council building and use the public phone there. God only knows how long that's going to be there. The reason why my benefit was stopped this time was because of a nebulous "More information request" which can put a hold on your money. Turns out there was no actual flag for whatever reason, someone just arbitrarily decided to flag my account as having its money stopped one week for no real reason. If I wasn't a persistent fucker with someone who depends on me, then I would have probably given up at the first hurdle of there apparantly being no job centres in cardiff with public phone access anymore and they would have saved a slight bit of money.
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Apr 17, 2014 20:36
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SybilVimes posted:Good news! In Dec 2012 when I got 3 months (Still waiting for the appeal!) hb got stopped. I got sanctioned for not attending a wp appointment I had no idea about. Its good to know they can get away with denying all knowledge of an appointment I have a card filled out for, that I make the effort to tear myself away from This Morning,wanking, and laughing uproariously to attend with no penalty, but if I don't receive a letter that is not verified in any loving way, I'm on Santa's naughty list. It is true that sanctions are targeted, with regular bonuses being withheld if a certain amount of claimants are not disciplined, my old advisor got the sack from them over it. He's going to tribunal now, too. It can't be nice being the poor sod on ground, and hated by those you deal with and those above you, and I always try to remember that. It is, however, really hard when you are down to the bones of your arse to keep your cool, and I have sometimes been guilty of frothing mouthed ranting. Sorry, DWP staff, blame your superiors. e: Oh yeah, Ddraig they ripped the phones out of my JCP too. And bolted down the coffee tables because, no joke, people were throwing them and nicking them. Good work G4S security! Trickjaw fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Apr 17, 2014 |
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Apr 17, 2014 20:52
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I'd honestly like to say if I was in the reverse position and was forced to sanction someone or be hosed myself I'd be the bigger man and do the right thing, but I think that would be dishonest. They've managed to create a culture where you're willing to stab someone in the back to make sure your own head isn't on the chopping block, and they've done it loving masterfully. This is why I scoff at all the "They're thick tory shits  " rhetoric. They know what they're doing: it's not incompetence, it's active malice.^^ The G4S security at my job centre is... well, it's somewhat lacking. There's one guy who must be at least 60, and one typical no-neck brick shithouse that is probably covering for the other guy. I don't even think they're legally allowed to actually throw you out or even touch you? Every time I go there I'm praying it will kick off so I can see the dream team in action. Rush Limbo fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Apr 17, 2014 |
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Apr 17, 2014 21:04
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Ddraig posted:^^ The G4S security at my job centre is... well, it's somewhat lacking. There's one guy who must be at least 60, and one typical no-neck brick shithouse that is probably covering for the other guy. We have a little fat amn who is 60 if he is a day, a fat bloke with cross eyes, a fierce looking 40 something woman, and some 20 something typical lad who spends all of his time texting (and naturally delights in telling anyone else off for using their phone, lest it interfere with the advanced Borg technology the DWP employs). They spend all their time I have witnessed sat at spare desks chatting up female advisors/claimants or going on tea breaks. I was wishing they would institute the 'Claimants must be in the JCP 9 to 5 Mon to Fri just to see how they dealt with the teeming masses who would inevitably rise up and smite them.
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Apr 17, 2014 21:19
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According to my Tory uncle: zero-hour contracts are perfectly OK because "Casual labour has always existed!" and used fruit-picking as an example... My Dad works for Balfour Beatty as a Civil Engineer; and for all the issues that they have as a company they generally treat their lower level employees a lot better than most companies and don't use zero-hour stuff - its because of a deal agreed with unions and until recently pretty much universally followed by big construction companies; but apparently recently new construction firms have started to use them to undercut other firms (usual race to the bottom bullshit) and tried to explain how toxic the thing is. He didn't have a clue; and didn't understand why the older, bigger firms wouldn't use zero hour contracts for staff. Then I said "well, why not have them universally for white collar employees?" and he changed his mind completely! There was also the usual anti-immigration stuff (apparently; there would be enough jobs for everyone if everyone from eastern Europe went back home, and since my girlfriend is Polish...) and the "scroungers stealing BILLIONS" shite as well. Being rather sheltered from that type of Toryism (brought up in Scotland, the few Tories we have are generally a little bit self-aware than the English Tories), it opened my eyes a bit as to why we're in this poo poo situation; and why it will probably get worse  . I mean, anti-benefit stuff certainly exists in Scotland and we're far from a perfect nation; but generally the ideas that "people should have guaranteed work" are pretty much universally accepted...I did learn that my Dads Mum was a bit of a left-wing Radical when she was younger (born on the Isle of Wight, which makes it quite extraordinary); and apparently my Dad is reminded a bit of her when I'm talking about stuff  . She died pretty young well before I was born, but for some reason hearing that made me feel quite good!
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Apr 17, 2014 22:22
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Trickjaw posted:We have a little fat amn who is 60 if he is a day, a fat bloke with cross eyes, a fierce looking 40 something woman, and some 20 something typical lad who spends all of his time texting (and naturally delights in telling anyone else off for using their phone, lest it interfere with the advanced Borg technology the DWP employs). They spend all their time I have witnessed sat at spare desks chatting up female advisors/claimants or going on tea breaks. I was wishing they would institute the 'Claimants must be in the JCP 9 to 5 Mon to Fri just to see how they dealt with the teeming masses who would inevitably rise up and smite them. Seems like there's some mandate of sorts to have at least one older guy in his 60's and one younger guy in his 30's, 'cause that's the usual crowd at the JCO I have to attend. Nice guys anyway, they help me out when I need it (usually with intercom stuff as being hard of hearing makes it impossible to make out announcements).
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Apr 17, 2014 22:37
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I remember last winter I went to sign in, and was standing around waiting to be called and one of the G4S guys came up to me and struck up a conversation. I remember it vividly because he asked me what the weather was like outside, I said "It's a bit nippy" then he sort of winked at me and said "That's what the Japanese feel like all the time, right!" then walked off. That pretty much killed the conversation dead. Ever since then I've avoided any sort of conversation with any of them
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Apr 17, 2014 22:45
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Labour hires Obama campaign chief David Axelrod
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Apr 17, 2014 22:45
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Well if he can engineer having a black president in America, then there's quite a good chance he might be able to make Ed into something resembling a human. I mean, it's not insurmountable... right?
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Apr 17, 2014 22:47
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Ddraig posted:I remember last winter I went to sign in, and was standing around waiting to be called and one of the G4S guys came up to me and struck up a conversation. I remember it vividly because he asked me what the weather was like outside, I said "It's a bit nippy" then he sort of winked at me and said "That's what the Japanese feel like all the time, right!" then walked off. You should have fronted it out "I see. Is it especially chilly in Japan? I have never been." and just smile nicely (whilst you get sanctioned for backchat)
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Apr 17, 2014 22:49
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Ddraig posted:I mean, it's not insurmountable... right? Wallace and Gromit themed political cartoons are going to rain from the sky.
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Apr 17, 2014 22:51
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IceAgeComing posted:born on the Isle of Wight, which makes it quite extraordinary Isn't the IoW the poorest part of Hampshire (unless you're queen victoria), and thus not as surprising as you'd think that people there might have a left wing attitude (and perhaps a streak of anti-government sentiment, given how often the IoW got shafted on public spending).
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Apr 17, 2014 22:54
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SybilVimes posted:Isn't the IoW the poorest part of Hampshire (unless you're queen victoria), and thus not as surprising as you'd think that people there might have a left wing attitude (and perhaps a streak of anti-government sentiment, given how often the IoW got shafted on public spending). One of the safest Tory seats in the country. Unsurprising given that it's stuck in a timewarp around 1983.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:05
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SybilVimes posted:Isn't the IoW the poorest part of Hampshire (unless you're queen victoria), and thus not as surprising as you'd think that people there might have a left wing attitude (and perhaps a streak of anti-government sentiment, given how often the IoW got shafted on public spending). No, the IoW is a Tory safe seat, in the last election the Tories won with 45% of the vote to the Lib Dems 31%, so with the collapse of Lib Dem support it will remain one in the future. One of the proposed boundary changes when the Tories where trying to downsize parliament was to dissolve the Isle of Wight constituency and add each half to Southampton's two constituencies, which would have swung two marginal labour seats back towards Tory control.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:09
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SybilVimes posted:Isn't the IoW the poorest part of Hampshire (unless you're queen victoria), and thus not as surprising as you'd think that people there might have a left wing attitude (and perhaps a streak of anti-government sentiment, given how often the IoW got shafted on public spending). Nowhere on the Isle of Wight is going to be worse than Charles Dickens, Leigh Park, Paulsgrove or Northam
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Apr 17, 2014 23:14
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SybilVimes posted:Isn't the IoW the poorest part of Hampshire (unless you're queen victoria), and thus not as surprising as you'd think that people there might have a left wing attitude (and perhaps a streak of anti-government sentiment, given how often the IoW got shafted on public spending). If the world worked like this; then you'd have continual left-wing governments for time immemorial. People vote against their own interests and the poor unfortunately don't vote as much as the rich. My Dad is from there and has always been a lifelong labour supporter and apparently supports a 40 hour work week (but is against rail nationalisation for... some reason); so I think that there is a streak of left wing people there. The problem is that young people leave the Island in order to go to uni or find a job because there are none; so although its relatively poor for the south, most of the younger voters are elsewhere so you lose that bit of the electorate. There also isn't really any major organisations unless you try some entryism (the Labour party has two councillors in poor parts of Newport; the rest are Conservative, UKIP or ex-Lib Dem "Independents"); probably because younger people who would enter that sort of activism move off the island and often don't return... Things are worse there now because the only anti-Tory force was the Lib Dems; and they've gone from controlling the council a few years ago and having the MP as recently as 2001 to only finding 4 candidates in the last council elections because the coalition shattered them. e: The proposed boundary changes were to have two Isle of Wight seats; although the commission never confirmed whether it'd be a North/South or a West/East split; I think the former might have increased the chances of a lib dem seat a little bit...
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Apr 17, 2014 23:16
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In happier news, Spangly A and I have been discussing the relative merits of Malt Loaf. It seems the consensus is that its an acceptable food stuff for ladies of a certain age, whilst still being delicous and comforting. Also, I am pleased to report, it now comes in sliced loaves that you can toast. Why this took so long, I cannot say. In other less good news, here in Essex, we are bracing ourselves for invasions of killer shrimp (no, really) and deadly and frightening asian hornets. What about *ARE* wasps? http://www.essexchronicle.co.uk/Warning-frightening-Asian-Hornets-way-Essex/story-20973496-detail/story.html Happy Easter! See you in church for Mass!
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Apr 17, 2014 23:42
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Malt Loaf is delicious. I am not a lady of a certain age, so your observation is invalid.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:50
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Ddraig posted:Malt Loaf is delicious. I am not a lady of a certain age, so your observation is invalid. I never sid exclusively. It is, however, more often observed in pantries and bread bins than, say crack dens, or them 'rave' clubs.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:53
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All the crack dens I've been in have been suspiciously free of malt loaf, that is true.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:55
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Ddraig posted:All the crack dens I've been in have been suspiciously free of malt loaf, that is true. Once your on the brown, tasty tea time treats go right out the window.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:57
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I used to eat a lot of malt loaf when out in the hills, but after more or less living off it for a week of camping it somewhat lost its appeal to me. Good fuel if you are still able to stomach it though. Plus even after several days in the rucksack getting damp, squashed or frozen, it looks and tastes just the same.
big scary monsters fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 00:10
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It truly is a wonder food. gently caress, now I need to get some when I go shopping tomorrow. Thanks a lot, UKMT
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Apr 18, 2014 00:15
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If there's a Pound Shop near you they do packs of two loaves (for a pound). Also McVities cakes.
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Apr 18, 2014 00:18
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big scary monsters posted:I used to eat a lot of malt loaf when out in the hills, but after more or less living off it for a week of camping it somewhat lost its appeal to me. Good fuel if you are still able to stomach it though. Plus even after several days in the rucksack getting damp, squashed or frozen, it looks and tastes just the same. Try it with salty butter or a chunk of sharp cheese. It stops it being so claggy and rich and tastes like a nice cheese and chutney sandwich instead.
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Apr 18, 2014 01:19
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Malt loaf is used in the theatre to make convincing fake turds.
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Apr 18, 2014 07:47
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Total Meatlove posted:Nowhere on the Isle of Wight is going to be worse than Charles Dickens, Leigh Park, Paulsgrove or Northam
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Apr 18, 2014 10:07
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David Cameron stung by jellyfish The poor creature must be traumatised 
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Apr 18, 2014 12:04
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twoot posted:David Cameron stung by jellyfish No shortage of people willing to piss on that sting. Maybe utilise the lesser known folk remedy of swift kicks to the head. Works every time.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:18
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Trickjaw posted:No shortage of people willing to piss on that sting. Maybe utilise the lesser known folk remedy of swift kicks to the head. Works every time. I wouldn't waste my piss on him 
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Apr 18, 2014 12:20
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I'm amazed he even noticed, he already spends plenty of time around venomous invertebrates.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:24
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I can't decide whether I'd wee on him or physically assault him either option is so funny to think and post about decisions decisions.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:27
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Pissing on him would just alleviate the pain of the sting. Instead, I'd set him on fire (then still refuse to piss on him, as a matter of previously stated principle).
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Apr 18, 2014 12:34
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A lot of urophiles up in this thread. e/ actualy just realised no-one is willing to piss on him lol! In more important news: Bristol man seeking help for pet tortoise Cedric with swollen penis A hard-up pet lover is hoping sympathisers will shell out and save Cedric his tortoise who is in agony - with a swollen penis. The four year-old spur-thighed tortoise is suffering from a prolapse of the cloaca which requires immediate treatment. Owner Miles Jelfs only realised Cedric had the painful problem after adopting him from a friend last week. But he says he can't afford the £150 op - which could involve a minor tuck or complete amputation - and is hoping wellwishers will donate to help him. "It would be a shame to see him suffer as a result of this, when at just four years old, he could be looking at another 90 plus years of life, provided he can get the right treatment. "Please help me get this awesome little guy the treatment he needs. Any donations no matter how small will be greatly appreciated." Cloacal Organ Prolapse is a fairly common condition in tortoises and can result from trauma from mating injuries or other males. It can also be caused by excessive libido where randy males excessively and repeatedly protrude their copulatory organ causing it to become extremely engorged and difficult for them to retract. To help Cedric, visit: http://www.gofundme.com/8ers64 http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-man-seeking-help-pet-tortoise-Cedric/story-20979816-detail/story.html  (gotta be a goon right?) JFairfax fucked around with this message at 12:39 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 12:36
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Pissflaps posted:I can't decide whether I'd wee on him or physically assault him either option is so funny to think and post about decisions decisions. Misery.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:40
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I've just been paid a few hundred quid cash in hand for some private consulting work and I'm not sure what to do with it. Does this count as pay? Do I need to pay VAT and income tax on it? Do I take it to my bank and let them sort it out? I don't know the Correct procedure in this case.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:44
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it's cash in hand. you spend it on whatever you like. don't tell the tax man. e/ also there is a tortoise that needs its cock fixed, donate to that. JFairfax fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 12:48
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^^^You certainly won't be alone if you do this (the not reporting bit, not the tortoise thing) but it'll make you no better than Jimmy Carr. Yeah that sounds like standard self-employed income there, don't need VAT unless your work is something weird, just record how much you've earned and file a selfassessment at the end of the financial year. namesake fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 12:53
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