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But he is a special snowflake, with a lot of vision issues. Benny, didn't you say you recently got insurance or some assistance program? Will that help you?
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Apr 20, 2014 04:55
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MassaShowtime posted:Buy your glasses online. I went from spending 600ish a pair to about 150 shipped.
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Apr 20, 2014 05:01
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Benny the Snake posted:What site did you use? My girlfriend got two pairs of poor people glasses from here for $100 shipped: http://www.coastal.com/
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Apr 20, 2014 05:31
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You could just google "buy glasses online" and compare the prices between a few sites to save a half month's salary instead of relying on a poster on a internet humour forum to tell you.
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Apr 20, 2014 05:33
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Or you can just get a discount plan that isn't insurance. You can either find a state alternative or go for something national like https://www.vspdirect.com/ which offered a vision insurance plan for 15 bucks a month or a combo dental/vision discount plan (not insurance) for $6 a month.
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Apr 20, 2014 05:47
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Thanks so much everyone for providing me resources for new glasses. I'm going to put new glasses on hold until after the probation period.
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Apr 20, 2014 06:07
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HiHo ChiRho posted:Or you can just get a discount plan that isn't insurance. You can either find a state alternative or go for something national like https://www.vspdirect.com/ which offered a vision insurance plan for 15 bucks a month or a combo dental/vision discount plan (not insurance) for $6 a month. This is good advice, those $120/$480 glasses I got yesterday are through VSP (it's what my work offers as vision insurance.)
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Apr 20, 2014 07:12
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Benny the Snake posted:Thanks so much everyone for providing me resources for new glasses. I'm going to put new glasses on hold until after the probation period.
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Apr 20, 2014 07:52
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Sigma-X posted:I really don't get the people giving Benny poo poo for saying "I'm not going to pursue a car loan through my Grandma yet, I'm going to wait a while to make sure I don't gently caress this one up because I've hosed them up before." Waiting for the end of his probation is sensible thinking, but... Sigma-X posted:That's smart thinking and considering a significant portion of his documented job hunt has been hampered by his reliance on public transportation a car will make him much more employable in the future, and it's pretty much a necessity for working a reasonable job while maintaining reasonable rent in SoCal. The area he lives in is suburban sprawl without money and in general that neck of the woods does not have great public transportation - it's not like he's in San Franscisco or something where you can get away with not having a car. All the affordable places are not connected to the good job centers by reasonable public transportation in SoCal. ... Benny's working 30 hours a week at $8/hour. That's an annual gross income of $12,480. Keeping a car fuelled, running and insured is likely to cost him somewhere in the region of $4,000 to $6,000/year, or something like half his income. I mean, he's not paying for rent or food right now, so he could swing it, but it's kinda debatable whether a car is actually affordable on a single, part-time, minimum-wage income, no matter how "necessary" it is in SoCal. It's also non-debatable that for Benny on his current wage, owning a car would make moving out financially impossible. Benny, if you are going to buy a car, please budget out exactly how much it will cost you in total, including maintenance, gas, insurance, and the cost to replace it when it dies. I would also suggest not buying the car at all until you have at least a few thousand dollars saved, and only buying the car if you can identify a direct need for it. Come to think of it, do you even have a driver's license?
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Apr 20, 2014 08:02
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Waiting for the end of his probation is sensible thinking, but... Getting a sensible car will let him increase his job search radius considerably, and his lack of car has been a significant factor in limiting his job search. If you want to debate the merits of the public transportation system out here please feel free to continue to do so but I'm actually local to the area and you aren't. Without a car he straight up isn't getting to LA or San Bernardino (not that you'd loving want to go there) to a job. It's very common out here for people to commute 30 minutes to an hour each way by car (which would become hours by bus) and the entire area he lives in is suburban sprawl, not some awesome modern metropolis. It's not like we've got the loving BART and all the other fantastic public transit you've seen in San Francisco. If he wants to move up from his current job into one that will allow him to move out of mom's and into a roommate situation he'll need a car at some point. Just not any time soon because he needs to sock away some money to have a rainy day fund for when his affordable used car breaks down on him, plus all of the purchase costs for a car.
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Apr 20, 2014 08:40
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Sigma-X posted:Getting a sensible car will let him increase his job search radius considerably, and his lack of car has been a significant factor in limiting his job search. If you want to debate the merits of the public transportation system out here please feel free to continue to do so but I'm actually local to the area and you aren't. Without a car he straight up isn't getting to LA or San Bernardino (not that you'd loving want to go there) to a job. It's very common out here for people to commute 30 minutes to an hour each way by car (which would become hours by bus) and the entire area he lives in is suburban sprawl, not some awesome modern metropolis. It's not like we've got the loving BART and all the other fantastic public transit you've seen in San Francisco. I do debate the merits of public transportation, the plight of the poor in suburban sprawl and the real costs of cars quite a lot, but I try to keep that to DnD and out of E/N.  But I am well aware of how hosed SoCal is in that respect. Sigma-X posted:If he wants to move up from his current job into one that will allow him to move out of mom's and into a roommate situation he'll need a car at some point. Just not any time soon because he needs to sock away some money to have a rainy day fund for when his affordable used car breaks down on him, plus all of the purchase costs for a car. That's more or less what I'm trying to say, just maybe a little more strongly: It remains to be seen whether Benny can even hold down a minimum wage job, let alone one that would let him both eat and own a car. Given that, Benny shouldn't even be thinking about cars right now.
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Apr 20, 2014 09:31
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Benny the Snake posted:Well my dear maternal grandmother practically raised me from when I was a kid and I love her dearly. Members of my mom's side have come to her to borrow money. She's offered $4000 to buy a used car. The terms of the loan would be to pay her back when I could. I could probably find a used car for $2000, but I'd probably want to use the loan to buy a car and get myself something that I've been desperately needing for a couple years now: a new pair of glasses. My eyesight is degenerating and my prescription glasses have been getting thicker and more expensive. My last pair cost me about $800 so I'm guessing a new pair might cost me now upwards of $1000. I know it's a bad idea to borrow more than you need, but I am really desperate for a new pair of glasses. My brother managed to get a free pair years ago through the local Lion's Club, but I'm not sure if I as an adult could approach them about a new pair of glasses or not. Benny. Get an eye exam, get them to write down your prescription and your pupillary distance in millimeters, and get some glasses from zennioptical.com.
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Apr 20, 2014 14:36
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Arch Stanton posted:Yeah I'm having a hard time seeing someone who failed miserably at the incredibly simple tasks of grilling vegetables, putting things into boxes and pushing shopping carts succeed at managing a massive portfolio of product listings across multiple markets. Some people just suck at basic retail/fast food jobs. I wad AWFUL at McD's and Boston Market. I'd make a terrible barista, cook, waiter, or warehouse worker...I'm not fast on my feet, I'm clumsy, my knees are bad, and I just don't enjoy the work. I respect those who are good at it, because it's dirty and hard work for crap pay. Good luck, Benny. Don't gently caress it up. Be punctual, ask questions and write down answers if you're not sure what to do, and don't worry about learning Cantonese just yet. Hopefully this is something to get you moving forward.
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Apr 20, 2014 16:05
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Big Bug Hug posted:What the gently caress? Is that how much glasses actually cost in the US? Yup. My eyeglasses cost close to $1k/pair with insurance (and my insurance is excellent); prescription sunglasses were about $800. If your eyesight is bad enough and you can't wear contacts there's really nothing you can do. Pretty understandable thing to spend a loan on IMO. e: and if his eyes are as bad as mine he probably won't be able to buy glasses online.
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Apr 20, 2014 16:41
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You can buy glasses online if you bad eyesite. Paying $800 is getting scammed.
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Apr 20, 2014 17:20
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Benny the Snake posted:When you have an astigmatism, both nearsightedness and farsightedness, and degenerative sight, then yes. I also don't have insurance, so I have to pay the full price. God Over Djinn posted:Yup. My eyeglasses cost close to $1k/pair with insurance (and my insurance is excellent); prescription sunglasses were about $800. If your eyesight is bad enough and you can't wear contacts there's really nothing you can do. Pretty understandable thing to spend a loan on IMO. No... Sigma-X posted:My girlfriend got two pairs of poor people glasses from here for $100 shipped: Chainsaw McGee posted:Benny. Get an eye exam, get them to write down your prescription and your pupillary distance in millimeters, and get some glasses from zennioptical.com. My vision is worse than what Benny describes and I also can't wear contacts. I've gotten glasses from both of those places without any problems. Someone from zenni got in contact with me and my optometrist before they processed the order because my eyesight is hosed up in a way he hadn't seen before but they still were able to provide the glasses. Which by the by is pretty spectacular customer service for a pair of glasses that ended up being about $30 shipped. And your first pair from Costal is free, you just pay shipping. Seriously Benny just go get your prescription, clutch that paper in your hands because you will need to scan it to send to Zenni and order glasses online. Edit because this is the truth Seven Hundred Bee posted:You can buy glasses online if you bad eyesite. Paying $800 is getting scammed.
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Apr 20, 2014 17:24
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Benny, please make the new glasses an immediate priority and not something you do after 90 days of work. Your insurance should at least cover an eye exam, even if glasses are not included. With a six hour per day schedule, you should have more than enough time to get to an appointment before or after work. If your grandmother is willing to loan you money for a car, I'm sure she'd be willing to make a much smaller loan so you can afford this. Your job is in data entry. This means taking information from your employer and accurately typing it into a computer. Assuming you manage to show up on time every day, do what you're told and get along with your coworkers, lack of accuracy is probably the likeliest way for you to get fired. If you can't see well enough to enter the correct information at a reasonable pace, you're hosed.
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Apr 20, 2014 18:36
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Take $100 from your first paycheck and go get an eye exam. Take $100 from your second paycheck and buy the glasses. Done. You don't need to take out a loving loan.
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Apr 20, 2014 19:06
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To elaborate: http://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=Eye+Exam&find_loc=Chino+Hills%2C+CA <- Here is a list of optometrists in your area. Step 1: Call several optometrists, ask for price for an eye exam without insurance Step 2: Find the optometrist with the lowest price, make an appointment Step 3: Go to your appointment. Inform them that you would like a copy of your prescription and your Pupillary Distance (PD/PPD) as you are buying glasses online. Step 4: Get those things Step 5: Purchases glasses online. Here are some websites you can Google: Zenni Optical Warby Parker Coastal
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Apr 20, 2014 19:10
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crabrock posted:it's a poo poo economy for a lying, cart smashing, pan head-hitting, co-worker backstabbing, burning-bridges type of person. As in, there is competition for jobs, and Benny does just about everything one can do to make himself unhirable. Hopefully he's learned SOMETHING from this thread and will make this one stick, but from his plans to ask about "the chinese partners," I'm guessing no. I just think that comes from growing up in such a hosed up household.
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Apr 20, 2014 21:12
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Huh, I learned something new today. When I did a couple hours of research three or four years back, it was all 'your prescription is outside parameters' 'no frames compatible with these lenses' etc. from those sites. Apparently they've gotten better. Benny get some cheap new glasses from Hong Kong via the Internet, I know I sure am going to, mine are hosed to hell and your eyes can't possibly be worse than mine.
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Apr 20, 2014 21:23
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:To elaborate:  Count Chocula posted:I just think that comes from growing up in such a hosed up household.
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Apr 20, 2014 22:00
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I would expect anyone able to complete a Bachelors degree could manage from "You can buy glasses a lot more cheaper online" to figuring out all the steps necessary to get a pair of glasses without other people holding his hand. I'm not offended that Benny doesn't have this level of executive function, rather that he won't even acknowledge he doesn't have it and that it's a serious problem.
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Apr 20, 2014 22:11
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Has your family's application for MediCal gone through yet? That would cover most, if not all, the cost of new glasses.
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Apr 20, 2014 23:03
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So no wonder he's been running shopping carts into things and hitting people with frying pans; he can't loving see. Benny, get some new glasses so you can accurately type prices into Amazon or whatever. Don't put it off too long.
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Apr 20, 2014 23:52
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Count Chocula posted:I just think that comes from growing up in such a hosed up household. Not that Benny's parents are all that great, but I haven't seen anything to suggest he lives in a really hosed up household. Perhaps the most hosed up thing is that they support his lifestyle.
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Apr 21, 2014 00:11
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4th Asclepiadean posted:Not that Benny's parents are all that great, but I haven't seen anything to suggest he lives in a really hosed up household. Perhaps the most hosed up thing is that they support his lifestyle. lol his mom punched and kicked his younger brother that seems hosed up to me
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Apr 21, 2014 01:49
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i am he posted:lol his mom punched and kicked his younger brother Says the compulsive liar who is mistified by carts.
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Apr 21, 2014 02:04
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Benny has a very clear pattern of lying specifically to downplay any accountability on his part, he doesn't just make things up at random. I've said this before, his lying is *very much* in line with an abuse victim's approach to the world.
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Apr 21, 2014 03:05
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:To elaborate: Just FYI he probably can't order from Warby Parker, because they require a pretty big deposit on a credit card before they'll ship any try-on pairs.
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Apr 21, 2014 03:32
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lizardman posted:Benny has a very clear pattern of lying specifically to downplay any accountability on his part, he doesn't just make things up at random. I've said this before, his lying is *very much* in line with an abuse victim's approach to the world. Hmm yes, that one time he called the police when he was a child and that time his mother got mad at his brother and ... that's all we have. Two "incidents" over ten or so years, filtered through an Engishl Maojor who can't even hold onto a job at a box factory. Truly a remarkable pattern of abuse.
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Apr 21, 2014 03:51
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i am he posted:lol his mom punched and kicked his younger brother gently caress me, I completely forgot about that. It's been so long. Okay, so maybe you guys have a fair point.
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Apr 21, 2014 04:10
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It's just speculation, not direct accusation. Hell, we do have some concrete proof that this family is likely not terribly functional, and that's that they produced Benny himself: a sheltered, insecure weasel whose yearning for a caring mother figure is so great it's turned into a full-on fetish for him. You tell me what this guy's upbringing must have been like.
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Apr 21, 2014 04:20
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Kobayashi posted:Hmm yes, that one time he called the police when he was a child and that time his mother got mad at his brother and ... that's all we have. Two "incidents" over ten or so years, filtered through an Engishl Maojor who can't even hold onto a job at a box factory. Truly a remarkable pattern of abuse. Pathological lying is a well-known symptom of abuse whether you feel like being goony about it or not. Noticing a symptom doesn't require knowing the cause.
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Apr 21, 2014 04:29
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Well since Benny is being abused so badly by his mother who as I recall is the only working person in the house, maybe he should stop letting her feed, clothe and shelter him at the age of 25 with a college degree. That'll show her.
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Apr 21, 2014 04:40
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Just FYI he probably can't order from Warby Parker, because they require a pretty big deposit on a credit card before they'll ship any try-on pairs. no they don't it is like one dollar unless they changed it in the last month e: this doesn't even matter because benny will never muster up the will to go to the optometrist and get his prescription, but he really should i am he fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Apr 21, 2014 |
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Apr 21, 2014 05:37
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'Abuse' is probably too strong a word for Benny's family - if only because most abuse victims usually realize how hosed up their situation is and try to run away by the time they're Benny's age - but you can still have a lovely upbringing even if it doesn't fall over the line of flat-out 'abuse'. Just for fun, I'm going to play a little armchair psychologist here - Benny, let me know if I'm anywhere close or if I'm way off. I'm just taking a guess (and pulling some things out of my rear end for kicks), so I hope you don't take any of this personally: Mom was a very emotional person, either because at core she was scared of the world or because she was unhappy with her life or both. I don't recall ever hearing about a Dad being around, but if he was, life in the "Snake" household was often punctuated with many intense fights and arguments. There were happy times, but even then there was always a weird tension because you never really knew when a fight might break out, and it didn't seem to matter if it was at home or in public or even in front of your friends (if you were allowed to have friends over). It might have lead to a divorce. Life with just Mom was a little better, if only because there were less people around to set her off, but you would still have to walk on your tip-toes around her because you never could tell when something might frighten her or offend her sensibilities, and she'd take it out on you guys by screaming at your or smacking you, even if you had little to do with it or if what you did was just an accident. She'd demand an apology or an oath not to do whatever got you in trouble again, but when you did she would continue screaming at you regardless, just as if you had refused and told her to shut up - it's like you could never win. On the other hand, she was often quite pleasant and it was obvious she loved you guys - she even kind of spoiled you a bit. You had little in the way of chores and she'd constantly be working in the house, cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house, even if she had a job. She'd get you all the little things you wanted, like comic books and such, even moreso if she had a job and she wasn't really around all day. If you offered to help her she would rebuke you - you wouldn't know what you were doing and she didn't have the time (read: patience) to teach you, anyway. And when you DID try to help her without asking, she wound up getting mad because you didn't do it right or you wound up messing something up. Mom was pretty good to you guys so long as you did OK in school, stayed out of her way because don't you see she's busy and working hard for you guys, and didn't get into trouble (especially trouble at school or around other people that would make her look bad). ...But you never could tell what would get you in trouble, could you? SOMETHING would always happen, sometimes things that you knew most folks didn't even think were a big deal, like two lesbians kissing on TV, or things that weren't even your fault, like two lesbians kissing on TV, and it would always result in screaming, smacking, or threatening to take away the things she'd gotten you. She had a martyr complex: even if she didn't say it outright, the implication was for all the things I do for you, I pamper you and take care of you, the least you can do is just not upset me and make life harder for me, you are my burden to bear. She wanted you to feel sorry for her. In your household guilt and love were the same thing. She's not in any particular hurry for you to get out of the house, because without you there's less people for her to sacrifice herself and be a martyr for and have people feel guilty for her. And you DID feel sorry for her, at least for a while, and while she did do a lot for you, you didn't truly respect her, because it's difficult to respect something you pitied. And what's more, she never felt sorry for YOU, she never gave YOU the benefit of the doubt, these things she did weren't because she felt sorry for you, it was so YOU could feel sorry for HER, and you felt there was a very important type of affection you were missing from her. You learned early on that the only way to stave off punishment was utter compliance, and you also learned you could only truly be compliant by (a) not doing things until she asks or tells you to, and (b) suppressing any kind of "trouble" that would come up. You learned to keep things from her. You learned to bend the truth to mitigate your culpability in anything. If something wrong happened, you would only bring it up to her (if you had to at all) after you tried to fix it. You learned not to go out of your way to do much of anything because it was probably just going to lead to more trouble. You did this so you could keep things in that very neutral space where there was no trouble and nothing new and scary was happening - the only space of peace.
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Apr 21, 2014 07:41
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what the gently caress
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Apr 21, 2014 08:16
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^^^ Just getting my Hannibal Lecter on. Have the lambs stopped screaming, Benny?
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Apr 21, 2014 08:29
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lizardman posted:^^^ Just getting my Hannibal Lecter on. This is less Hannibal Lecter and more Malcolm in the Middle OC.
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Apr 21, 2014 09:01
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