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  • Locked thread
e X
Feb 23, 2013

cool but crude
Nice to see this is back.

Who are the two powers in Japan?

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I Killed GBS
Jun 2, 2011

by Lowtax

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Also, holy hell did you change Australia. Let's just hope we got enough boats if something rises out of that water.

I suppose a hatred of boats unites their and our Australias.

Gravity Cant Apple
Jun 25, 2011

guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple
Glad to see this back. Great update, can't wait to see what horrors await our Australian colonies.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Reveilled posted:

What are these artifacts? If they're bits of the ruins of a previous modern civilization, then the abundant aluminium would make them more valiable than gold.

They're the lost anime figurines of a forgotten era. A thousand pieces of alien collectible plates with Cthulhu on them. Shopping magazines from Starmall.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


e X posted:

Nice to see this is back.

Who are the two powers in Japan?

Oste Wasi is the purple, Japan itself in red (in a personal union under the Yuan) and Manchu owns a small bite. There used to be an Ainu state there too, but it is out of the race.

Triskelli
Sep 27, 2011

I AM A SKELETON
WITH VERY HIGH
STANDARDS


ZearothK posted:

An excellent question and point, but one the Hansa is not presently equipped to answer in a satisfying manner, so I won't confirm or deny any theories.

We've found a Bad Dragon warehouse, haven't we?

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021






Seizing the opportunity is the first step to victory. Remember these words as you lead your men.

Burgundy was devastated from the Aztlani invasion and the war against England. More than that, they had become politically isolated, as the von Goons chose to distance themselves from continental affairs. It was indeed the time to strike and reconquer the lands the French Republic had lost not so long ago.



We did our part, and learned our lessons on the bloody fields of Barrois against de Bourgogne monarchy. The bloody is not stated as a curse or poetry, but as a descriptor.



The catholic crusaders of Burgundy are some of the finest and most zealous soldiers in the world. It was but overwhelming numbers, “republican hordes”, as the Burgundians would call us, that allowed victory. The battle of Barrois was archetypal of the engagements found in that war.



It would come to repeat again and again, in Maine, in Lyonnais, Charolais and Bourgogne. The Leagues of France and Hansa triumphed not through competence of arms, but merely for the ability of our states to withstand losses.



At times they even forced us to retreat, but even these victories came at a grave price for the crusaders.



For in time, their old veterans simply died, while our republics still had greedy, ambitious and brave young men to send to the front. We endured and in enduring we grew strong, while the kingdom saw no choice but to surrender, lest we destroy it utterly. Lessons to be studied.



As we all know, our most ambitious project remained India, Gerbhard von Bardewick’s dream.



Already an old man, he stepped down shortly after the end of the Madurai campaign, followed by our on-going decade of generals and admirals as Statthalters.





Wars do not come from nowhere. Many have said that a more… Diplomatic administration could have de-escalated the Indian crisis.



Karnata remembered its original role as protector of the subcontinent and commanded a prohibition of trade between its domain and the Europeans until we forfeited our Indian conquests.



We were, naturally, not concerned, as reports confirmed that our navy had the largest collection of ships-of-the-line around the world.



Still, they were confident that the von Goons would pressure us to accept, as in those months Malaya burned southern Britain to the ground and had acquired several concessions for their effort.



Negotiations between Vijayanagara and Lübeck broke down shortly afterwards.





Pay attention now.

While on paper our numbers were indeed greater, it is worth remembering that the Palaiologos, the Rurikovich and our fellow republic had no way to meaningfully engage our attackers, and Scotland had just suffered a devastating defeat to the world’s second greatest naval power. This was our war to fight.



The Shoshone Dominion, last and greatest of the North Ixachitlani nations, had joined Karnata in its alliance. A campaign that would be pursued by troops under command of Neubauten and the Ascomanni Gesellschaft.



The Indian front was more worrisome, indeed. As the Karnata Empire, to this day in fact, maintains the world’s greatest single army. Over two hundred thousand men mobilized against us.



It was no surprise that our first command was to retreat the Armee von India to Ceylon, we were outnumbered. A land war that offered a scenario opposite to the one we found in the Burgundian campaign.





The Asian fleet was dispatched to engage the Karnatans, finding them off the coast of Malabar. We expected a swift victory.



It went poorly. Though numerous, many of our Asian ships were old and there was no central admiralty to coordinate them, not to mention our own arrogance. The faster Indian frigates, in particular, were very effective against our old lumbering warships. We were routed back to Ceylon.



And those were the opening months of the Indian campaigns. Naval guns were placed around the Ceylonese coast, preparing against an invasion that seemed inevitable. Our advisors remembered the hardy fighters of Burgundy and prepared a new model army.





Though he had retired as Statthalter, Gerbhard von Bardewick remained an active figure in politics. In May he made the grand gesture of donating the venerable von Bardewick Palace in Mecklenburg to the League so that it would be turned into the War College we are now in. I believe this used to be one of their dance halls. The family then moved their holdings to Ceylon as a display of faith in our success.



The campaign in Ixachitlan was decidedly more optimistic, as our forces easily outnumbered those of the Shoshone. Though this enemy highlighted other weaknesses in our strategic position.



Lack of familiarity with the terrain and the unwillingness of Neubatener and Ascomanni commanders in working together, which allowed king Yonaguska to achieve early victories on that front.



The hiring of local guides and reinforcement from an army under direct command from Lübeck proved apt solutions to these challenges. The entirety of the Shoshone cavalry and most of their cannons were lost on the battle of the Fox.



The rest of it was straightforward enough.

As for the Indian front, the League approached it the way we knew best.



By throwing gold at it.



Led by the state of the art A.E.I.O.U. the reformed European fleet left to Ceylon to reinforce the Asian fleet.





First we vanquished a trade fleet, announcing our presence to the enemy. We then met the Karnatan fleet for a second encounter off the coast of Malabar.



The winds favoured us, and veteran captains from the first battle advised Kellinghusen expertly.


We sunk Dasari’s fleet and ruined the Raja’s ambition of seizing Ceylon.




Having regained naval superiority, we humbled the Karnata in another manner, supplying our fortresses for years on end as the two hundred thousand had no choice but watch as walls were rebuilt again and again against their slaughter. Techniques which we had learned well from Nwabudike Morgan, a Kilwan military advisor.

Ours is a vast empire, not a mere nation, and each of our cultures has something to contribute. Never forget this, for we will need them in the coming years.



The tables were so turned, and we began a blockade of the Indian subcontinent even as our colonial troops marched over the Shoshone Dominion.



It was over for them.



We settled for indemnities, even though we could have pushed for more if we had the willingness to pressure Karnata for longer. But the truth is that our fleet is needed elsewhere. Another war to fight. It is waiting for you to lead men to victory, to save our civilization from the blood pits of the skinflayer Gods.









I hope you have paid good attention to our lessons thus far. You will need all of them, and more.

Much more.



ZearothK fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Apr 24, 2014

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd
Nwaibudike Morgan, eh? How eerily familiar....

Also congrats on the Gold rating (I might have missed that), how apropos.

sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Apr 24, 2014

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
Come on, Hansa, kick those no-good Aztecs right in the gold! They're just a bunch of- oh god, we are so very, very hosed.

inscrutable horse
May 20, 2010

Parsing sage, rotating time



In knowing the teachings of Gerbhard von Bardewick, I have become stronger.

Ubern00b
Nov 4, 2009
How's relations between the old Inca + Aztec empires and New Aztlan + the North-African Aztec state? Any chance they'll be dragged into the war and truly screw you over ?

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
This is basically a World War come 300 years early, isn't it?

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)
Aztec AND Inca against us? Oh gently caress.

DentedLamp
Aug 2, 2012
I would hazard a guess that ZearothK's strategy will consist of focusing entirely on our navy for the majority of the war, picking off the Aztec and Incan fleets where possible and ignoring land engagements save for the possibility of their somehow landing troops on the continent. With control of the seas, the last leg of the war could be spent upon sending in invasion forces on Ixachitlani provinces with river crossing and mountain defence egos, from which the Axis enemy armies are crushed comprehensively until a carpet occupation may be arranged.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


My main strategy will be hitting Oste Wasi as quickly as possible in their capital as they are the weakest nation and, conveniently, the alliance leader. We'll see how that turns out. Continental Hansa is safe enough, but our Ixachitlaner possessions are at risk.

Ubern00b posted:

How's relations between the old Inca + Aztec empires and New Aztlan + the North-African Aztec state? Any chance they'll be dragged into the war and truly screw you over ?

Nah, thankfully not possible, though the Aztec Empire has good relations with Mahuatiquez, only the alliance leader can call more nations. Unfortunately this is almost the worst possible alliance bloc we could have been hit with already.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
The way the AI usually works, they tend to be very lazy about pursuing wars that are not literally adjacent to them, so I'd assume that not a single Incan soldier's going to be seen unless the war drags on for decades, apart from maybe the occasional naval confrontation. Their war participation is likely to be almost entirely theoretical unless there's been a recent patch that's changed things up, so it's really not as dire as it looks.

YF-23
Feb 17, 2011

My god, it's full of cat!


PurpleXVI posted:

The way the AI usually works, they tend to be very lazy about pursuing wars that are not literally adjacent to them, so I'd assume that not a single Incan soldier's going to be seen unless the war drags on for decades, apart from maybe the occasional naval confrontation. Their war participation is likely to be almost entirely theoretical unless there's been a recent patch that's changed things up, so it's really not as dire as it looks.

The war goal's for Oste Wasi to occupy a province in the Philippines, which the Hanseatic navy is surely capable of preventing. The only weak front in the war is the Hanseatic colonies in the Americas which are pretty indefensible, but they should provide the American alliance with poo poo for warscore.

The high point of this war will be the scale of it rather than the result, along with the political implications of the Aztecs and the Incas joining in arms to kick some European butt.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021






Our plan in Ixachitlan is to coordinate with local forces to delay the Incan-Aztec invasion for as long as possible. We are evacuating population from the southwestern provinces up north to minimise losses. As long as we can maintain grain shipments from the Baltic to Neubauten, the situation should remain under control. Ideally we will not weather too much damage before our Asian forces complete their objective.



The Oste Wasi is the weakest of our enemies and the leader of their alliance. For this reason we are preparing an invasion of their capital in Oster Japan.



It is up to the Hanseatic Fleet and the Army of India to complete these objectives. If we are successful with this Schuberth plan we shall deal a knock-out blow against the enemy alliance and thus minimize the loss of life in Ixachitlan, while collectively humiliating Oste Wasi, as well as the Aztec and Incan Empires.



Oh, and cigars all around! Apparently the Aztecs are so scared of our fleet that they have retired their trade fleet to the ports and we have finally managed to get some of that sweet Caribbean leaf!



This has had an absolutely excellent effect on our economy. See, I told you fellows that we would get a profit from this. So, these are our plans. All in agreement?

Hurrah!





They are taking us away, they are saying the Aztecs have crossed the Mississippi. Why are they here? I keep asking that, but no one seems to have any idea.



They are saying that this was a mad von Goon scheme, others think it is in response to the invasion of some island in Asia, or that it is over trade in the Caribbean. A woman said that the Hansa sold us to be sacrificed to the Blood Gods. It all sounds absurd.





Smashing good weather! The Oste Wasi won’t know what hit them!



We have reports of Oster forces invading the contested island. We are taking a detour in order to provide support.



That could have gone better. I have been captured by the enemy. I wish I could say that they had mistreated me, but they were surprisingly kind to me once they learned of my relation to house Wittenborg. I was even taken to meet their leader. Inca Roca. My greatest surprise was that he knew how to speak German.



He interrogated me at length. Not about plans of any war or anything of the sort. Rather, he wanted to know what was life like in the Hansa, how were Lübeck, Holstein and Hamburg. We spoke at length about business and he was very open about himself and his company.



Inca Roca is the second of his name. Chief Executive Officer for the Immortal Chairholders’ Council of the Western House. His dream is to build his own palace in this island so that he may live within for eternity as part of the Council. These immortals appear to control all aspects of life in the Oste Wasi and they count amongst their number the legitimate Emperors of Japan and China, the later through the Song dynasty.



He believes that it is the destiny of the Oste Wasi to rule Asia in its entirety. The naval might and natural genius of the Inca, the honour and loyalty of the Samurai, the organization and industriousness of the Chinese, the courage and art of the Maori. From each people conquered they absorb what is best and purge every weakness.



He says there is nothing we can do, even with all our wealth and power. I then explained to him what it meant to be one of the Elect and that we were God’s chosen. He regarded me with respect, even if it was obvious that he remained sceptical of my claims.



A strange man to be sure. And… Stranger of all, I think I’ll miss our conversations. But, what is our situation?

Stranded in the island the Oste Wasi desire. How appropriate. We cannot leave and they do not dare to attack our army. So much for the Schuberth plan. Hand me a cigar, will you?



drat it.



You know what? gently caress the von Goons.





What is our world coming to?



Some of my ancestors were soldiers. It is not right to leave my home to be burned and do nothing but run. I have sent Pierré, my eldest, with the rest of our family to Nye Finland. At the rate the Incas are moving they will outpace the refugees. Help me God, I will do my part in the stand.





The very horizon on fire. This is the end of the world. Konrad Warendorp himself resisted until the very end, leading the combined forces of the two colonies, but it was not enough against the two empires.

I do not know how I live. I lost consciousness after a shot, yet it was not fatal. The beach is full of corpses and cannonballs. I run, I hide, I do not know where to go.



I’ve heard a rumour that Warendorp still lives, somewhere in the cold north, that his soldiers took him and sheltered him back to health. He is coming back to join the surviving colonial army in a surprise assault. I need to get back to him, but how?



Everywhere there are enemies. The land is rotten where the Aztecs have marched, filled with decaying corpses around improvised pyramids, devoid of life save for stragglers who had managed to hide. The Incas march around like a firestorm, burning everything they see, they leave gold coins in the eyes of the dead to mock us. They are killing us to stop the Aztecs from sacrificing us to their Gods.



I have reached him. Warendorp The Saint, Warendorp The Immortal. I believe him when he tells us that we can still triumph, that this is but a test of God’s will. That these heathens shall suffer tenfold for every indignity.



How am I still alive?



Where is the League?



Well, the bright side is that we are not considered as much of threat anymore!



So, how has your day been, my friend?



Oh really, I should really watch for Froberger next time I am in Stuttgart for business. Oh, c’mon, he cannot possibly be as good as you say? Fine, fine, I will humour you!



You do know I am more of a Monteverdi man. I should buy a theatre company one of these days so we can have L’Orfeo in Lübeck again, what do you think?



By the way, did you hear about the Scottish expedition? It seems the Oster are so afraid of our fleet escaping that they have given free reign for the Scots to land where they may. Scandalous I say.



They escaped? Goodness, and how did that turn out?



Straight into a trap? The Oster are a canny people, I will give them that.



But enough of those dreadful matters. Have you seen the latest exposition in Hamburg?



It is absolutely fabulous! I will buy myself that one and hold a ball around it. Yes, not inviting a single Meyer, evidently. Those new rich should know their place. I must say, things have not been the same same since the von Bardewicks moved to India.



I suppose that has always been their dream. Wait, what is that ruckus outside?



Another war? How quaint.





I saw the Scottish prince. He was in Nye Finland and his eyes seemed heavy with fear. He had a small army around him, but he still walked amongst the people with the look of someone lost and afraid, looking for something. He seemed to be awaiting judgement. A strange appearance for a royal heir.

I couldn’t find my family, the city is turning away refugees and it was only my bloody and torn uniform that allowed me entrance. Oh God, please keep them safe, they are not Damned. drat me but don’t drat them.



I am being kicked out of the city. They have run out of food. Some of the other veterans are talking about another commander from the old families alive in the frozen north, one the Lüneburg. There is a prophecy amongst the survivors. A saint will come from one of the five ancient families to deliver us. This is the only hope that I have left.



There is no hope.



We’ve lost everything.



Lord, keep them safe.





Here is the plan. We will take out stragglers.



Avoid areas where they maintain local advantage.



Profit.



Join the Asian Fleet around Sulawasi and use our combined forces to sink the Oster fleet.



And then proceed to invade their home islands and win this war.



Or that, I guess. Thanks James VIII?



-------------------------------------

Inside a non-descript building in Lübeck

The von Goon was late as was his habit. The five men greeted each other in their usual manner and quickly moved on to the business at hand.

“Ah, Reinhard, nice of you to join us. Take your seat, we have an important matter to discuss.” said Karl Wittenborg jovially.



“Is this about the recent events in the Hansetag?” responded the patriarch as he took his place at the round table.

“Actually yes, have you read the entirety of the new legislation?”

“Cannot say that I have, I have been busy with other matters.”

“I imagined as much, here. Read the fine print.” offered Wilfried Lüneburg.

“What do you want me to look at?” he sounded bored and more than slightly annoyed.

“This one, please do read it. We were discussing this amongst us and I believe it would be of capital importance for you.” Wilfried stood up and indicated a part of the legislation.

“‘No kindred, relative or dependent of a ruling royal house may participate in the administration or representation of the Hanseatic League, unless said individual renounces all ties to said house.’” he read it out loud in a detached, indifferent, tone, but the drained colour of his skin denounced his feelings “What doggerel is this?”

“The von Goons have gone too far. It is as simple as that. We are kicking you out of the club.” answered Gerbhard von Bardewick “Maybe we will invite the Meyer instead.”

Reinhard got up “This is ridiculous, the Hansa cannot survive without the von Goons.”

“I’d rather say the Hansa survives despite the von Goons at this point.” said Lüneburg.

“Enough of this.” he began to leave.

“Another step and I’ll cut your throat, then say you tried to attack me.” suggested the septuagenarian von Bardewick.

“I will confirm it.” said Wittenborg.

“We will all confirm it.” Johan Warendorp said in a deep baritone, speaking for the first time “After all, your brother is a more agreeable man, and we do have an offer.”

Reinhard sighed and returned to his seat, hands shaking despite his stoic expression.

“The von Goons are over. Abandon the name, avoid all contact with the Scottish royal house. Institutions before individuals. Pragmatism before ego. We are no longer business partners. Sell your enterprises, spend a summer in contemplation. Grow a moustache, develop a new identity, invest your money and be once again a productive member of the Hansa. You can even keep your palace and that garden of yours. Refuse and we will destroy you. Do not anger those you can neither destroy nor buy.” Warendorp offered.

There was a silence. It lasted long enough for the tension to dissolve into awkwardness.

“Right, right. Fair terms, I’ll explain the situation during dinner.”

“The colonies must be rebuilt, you will be expected to contribute in a manner proportional to the damage your house has caused.” Lüneburg said.



“It is no longer my house.” Reinhard managed a smile.

Always pay your dues. It is still your debt. The board is here, you have an addition to make.”

The Seventeenth Rule of Business:
Everything we give, we have the right to take back, with interest.

“That is not all.” von Bardewick took the knife out of his hand.

The First Rule of Business:
Never Trust a Dane.


“What have you done!? The first rule…”

“A Danish king cheated your ancestor four hundred years ago. For the last two centuries the Danes have been loyal subjects to the League, laboring in our fields, working in our workshops, sailing in our ships and fighting in our armies. Let it go.” Lüneburg stated, matter of factly “Your house, on the other hand, has repeatedly insisted on a disastrous alliance with Scotland. Hundreds of thousands of our people have died for their wars and their islands while they have contributed nothing in return. Enough is enough. We have a new first lesson. Carve it if you want your kin to have a place in this world.”

The First Rule of Business:
Never Trust a von Goon



ZearothK fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Apr 25, 2014

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

:stare:

Well, that was certainly a turn of events.

Gravity Cant Apple
Jun 25, 2011

guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple
DAAAAAAAAMN.

Gyra_Solune
Apr 24, 2014

Kyun kyun
Kyun kyun
Watashi no kare wa louse
It's funny how these games do tend to end up with the lineage of the start enemies by the end. Except the Ogoonus, those guys will rule super-Ghana forever and will not stop until everyone's last name is some variant of Ogoonu.

Lektor
May 1, 2013
wow that was great keep up the good work!

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Von Goons exile themselves to Australia, come back atop a horde of incomprehensible monstrosities. Calling it.

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
I have a feeling Scotland's going to take control of the Hansa. Going by the other LPs screwing over the original family never has good consequences.

Rejected Fate
Aug 5, 2011

Oh god, looks like the Italians aren't faring well against New Aztlan.

DentedLamp
Aug 2, 2012
This LP does a very good job of conveying the sense that Ixachitlan really is this timeline's Europe and will dominate everything, with the other states of the world only serving the role of states lucky enough to maintain a degree of power in the face of the constant conquests of the New Worlders.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
Jesus, 100-troop superblobstacks? The Aztecs aren't a laughing matter, and I'm surprised/impressed that the Incans actually managed to path their way up into the north. Though I'm kind of annoyed at that, when I last played EU4, the Poles could hardly figure out how to path through loving Lithuania to come help me against someone on the other side, despite full military access and alliances with all non-hostile territory in the way.

And here the Incas are, navigating something like a quarter of the circumference of the globe to come boot the Hansa in the junk.

What's the strategy on North America? Will there be an eventual reckoning with the Aztecs or is the strategy just to try to ignore/appease them and attempt to outperform them elsewhere?

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


DentedLamp posted:

This LP does a very good job of conveying the sense that Ixachitlan really is this timeline's Europe and will dominate everything, with the other states of the world only serving the role of states lucky enough to maintain a degree of power in the face of the constant conquests of the New Worlders.

Nah, Ixachitlan's time has passed. The real movers of this world lies in the great empires of Asia

Ethiser
Dec 31, 2011

I want to see a Hansa Yuan tag team that splits North America between them.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


So do I, I've been improving relations with the Yuan, since they'd be of great help against the Aztecs, Oste Wasi and the Karnata Empire, but their stance remains neutral so far.

PurpleXVI posted:

What's the strategy on North America? Will there be an eventual reckoning with the Aztecs or is the strategy just to try to ignore/appease them and attempt to outperform them elsewhere?

The Incas actually walked that distance, which makes it all the more crazy. They and the Aztecs Empire have a pretty great road network by the 1600s, apparently.

As for my plan? I will burn the Aztec Empire to the ground.

Realistically, it is pretty much impossible to beat the combined armies of the Inca and Aztecs, but they are still arch-enemies (the Aztecs haven't rivalled us, just the Inca), so they should eventually be at each other's throats again, which would be the ideal opportunity to take revenge on the Aztec Empire. Pretty good odds even. Otherwise, we'd still have a shot if we are engaging only one of them.

A thing I didn't mention in the update is that both of them came out of the war with zero manpower from attrition, as we do own a lot of land in north Ixachitlan, so they can be broken. We can also raise a bigger army than the Aztecs, the main challenge is transporting it to the front given the distances involved (and how spread out we are, since we have to worry about five continents and a lot of enemies that could jump on us), but if we are prepared there will be hell to pay for the next round.

DentedLamp
Aug 2, 2012

ZearothK posted:

As for my plan? I will burn the Aztec Empire to the ground.

What exactly do you mean by this? Take and core five of their provinces, and subsequently feed the rest of them into your Mexican colonial nation?

wukkar
Nov 27, 2009
My brain just has no idea how it should be pronouncing Ixachitlan.

Freudian
Mar 23, 2011

wukkar posted:

My brain just has no idea how it should be pronouncing Ixachitlan.

I think it's ICKS-a-CHIT-lan.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


Your guess is as good as mine!

DentedLamp posted:

What exactly do you mean by this? Take and core five of their provinces, and subsequently feed the rest of them into your Mexican colonial nation?

It is more a figure of speech for giving them an humilliating defeat. We'll figure that out when we get there, but they do own lands in Neubaten's colonial region and there are several nations (Zapotec, Mayas, Guayaquil, Arawak, Cherokee, Apache and probably a few others) that could be potentially freed from them, so there are several ways we can take this. I will most likely put it for a vote if we ever get them at our mercy like that.

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
I say that if we can, we do it. Kick those godsfulled heathens right in the things and bring back some of those pretty club-swords as souvenirs! Also steal all their roads and pretty feathered hats.

Realistically, though, we're going to need some good timing...

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!
Why not force them to convert?

The resulting massive rebellions all over their former Empire should accomplish the goal of dismantling them, and then their smaller, weaker successor states can be picked off at our leisure.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Treachery, mutiny, this will not stand! :argh:

Funky Valentine
Feb 26, 2014

Dojyaa~an

wukkar posted:

My brain just has no idea how it should be pronouncing Ixachitlan.

Ee-SHA-chi-TLAN

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011

Freudian posted:

I think it's ICKS-a-CHIT-lan.

It's more of a shh sound. Blame 16th Cent. Spanish, the x was a sh sort of sound and (obviously) that's when they standardized a transcription system of Nahua to Roman alphabet.

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TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.
The end of that last update. :stare: :tviv:

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