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Vargo posted:I honestly have no idea when/if we'll get around to that one, we're a little backlogged right now. Last week's was pretty hastily tossed together and this week we're doing something special, so we might just say "screw it" to everything released pre-Spider-man. There's been several movies that Current Releases has ignored over the past few years. I'm still waiting to find out if 2016: Obama's America (2012) is worth watching.
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Apr 30, 2014 13:12
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That sounds like a job for Not So Current Releases. Although it would probably be funnier in 2016 than if they reviewed it right now.
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Apr 30, 2014 16:13
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Man, if ever there was a film that demanded a Donovan Laird review...
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Apr 30, 2014 17:10
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I'm going to go way back because there was part of the review of "This Is the End" that I want to address.quote:This Is The End brings up a point that needs to be addressed, and it's never an easy one to talk about, so let's leap right in: At one point in this film, Jonah Hill is raped by a demon on screen. It's a short scene, but it's shot in a legitimately disturbing fashion. It borrows heavily from other female-rape scenes in film, as well as the style of actual horror films, most notably Rosemary's Baby, including the "This isn't a dream! It's really happening!" line, with touches of Paranormal Activity. (Which makes sense, because there's paranormal-sexual-assault subtext in those movies.) One thing that I'd like to note about that scene is that it doesn't take place in a vacuum. The Jonah Hill character wasn't randomly singled to be demon-raped. Right before the scene occurred, the Jonah Hill prayed. He prayed to God. And in that prayer, Jonah prays that God will kill Jay, because Jonah hates Jay. For all some people protest saying "Jesus Christ" or "Goddammit" what Jonah did is the real meaning of "taking the Lord's name in vain." So, Jonah prayed. He opened himself on a spiritual level in an act of blasphemy. The timing of the demonrape to the prayer indicates that the demon came to Jonah because by his choices and actions, Jonah had invited it in. At least, that was my perspective on the situation.
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May 1, 2014 08:51
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johntfs posted:I'm going to go way back because there was part of the review of "This Is the End" that I want to address. The issue is that it's a rape joke, not that it's a demon.
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May 1, 2014 09:59
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Professor Clumsy posted:The issue is that it's a rape joke, not that it's a demon. True, but my point is that in some ways the joke is even nastier when you consider the prayer. Because the prayer means that Jonah was "asking for it."
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May 1, 2014 18:11
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Whenever I read a comic book or anime review, I read them in an extremely nerdy voice that tells people he's not reading comics books, it's a graphic novel or it's not cartoons it's anime. This time it was up to 11, with the weird tract going from "Spider Man is evil nerd stand that they can sympathize with and it makes me mad that I can too because I am one, errr I mean he's sexist". It really reads as if your really loving reaching to find a more substantial reason you hate a character other than he's boring character that hard to tell too many stories with that actually focus on him. All the movies are dumb poo poo though.
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May 4, 2014 07:19
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Yeah, a lot of the Current Releases start off with, "Yo, just a disclaimer, but I hate the poo poo out of X," and that's all fair and good, a reviewer should put their biases out there. But I got to this part in the Spider-Man retrospecticus: "Fair warning: More than all other superheroes, I really dislike Spider-Man. While Superman stands for unflinching optimism and Batman is his counterpoint pessimist, Spider-Man is the porn-hero for socially awkward weirdoes engorged with inarticulate nerd-rage and lovely attitudes towards women," and I was legitimately confused. I don't know if that's projection, or loading up a sentence with all the cool internet buzzwords right now, but I don't necessarily understand how that mantle falls onto Spider-Man, of all the heroes. Also no one likes Superman, get out of here with that crazy rear end fiction.
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May 4, 2014 17:06
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Zelder posted:Yeah, a lot of the Current Releases start off with, "Yo, just a disclaimer, but I hate the poo poo out of X," and that's all fair and good, a reviewer should put their biases out there. But I got to this part in the Spider-Man retrospecticus: "Fair warning: More than all other superheroes, I really dislike Spider-Man. While Superman stands for unflinching optimism and Batman is his counterpoint pessimist, Spider-Man is the porn-hero for socially awkward weirdoes engorged with inarticulate nerd-rage and lovely attitudes towards women," and I was legitimately confused. I don't know if that's projection, or loading up a sentence with all the cool internet buzzwords right now, but I don't necessarily understand how that mantle falls onto Spider-Man, of all the heroes. I like Superman.
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May 4, 2014 17:08
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Superman is cool. Spider Man is also cool. Spider Man in Spiderman 2 is not so cool.
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May 4, 2014 17:26
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Just watch the original Spider-Man 2 and save the  .
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May 4, 2014 17:28
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You guys are probably thinking of Bizarro Superman. Now that guy; he am number 1.
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May 4, 2014 18:23
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Spider Man 2 is an amazing film because of Alfred Molina. gently caress everyone else in that film. He is so insanely likable as Doc Ock you just feel awful for him as he is slowly driven insane by his giant robot arms. And then he makes a hero's sacrifice at the end for the sake of humanity and it's heartbreaking. The only reason to watch that film is for his brilliant performance. Of course, I'm sure if I rewatched the film right now it wouldn't be as good as I remember.
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May 4, 2014 19:26
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I actually barely remember any of the Raimi Spider-Mans. I remember a montage of how great Peter's life is when he's not doing whatever a spider can set to Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head and that's about it.
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May 4, 2014 19:38
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Professor Clumsy posted:I actually barely remember any of the Raimi Spider-Mans. I remember a montage of how great Peter's life is when he's not doing whatever a spider can set to Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head and that's about it. Actually, yeah, this is 100% the only thing I remember too.
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May 4, 2014 19:48
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I'm legit bummed you didn't ask me to write minority reports for the Raimi films.
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May 5, 2014 00:42
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:I'm legit bummed you didn't ask me to write minority reports for the Raimi films. Why would we do that?
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May 5, 2014 00:48
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Professor Clumsy posted:Why would we do that? I would have laughed if he had written them in character.
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May 5, 2014 00:50
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So am I the only one confused about why they decided to give the new Spider-Man movie three villains again? Villain overload is really the main obvious problem that sunk the first iteration of the franchise so I have no idea why they'd jump right back into that. Particularly considering that the review makes it sound like Osborn doesn't even matter, and doesn't even mention Rhino at all. I haven't seen the movie, but they're highlighting this information all over the promotional material. Personally I would have rather seen hints about the eels. (also am I the victim of a mass avatar bomb or something because I have no idea what that's supposed to be)
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May 5, 2014 06:33
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Because Superhero franchise films are making vast amounts of cash so Sony is trying to maximize their license by having Spider-Man spinoffs. They've already announced a Sinister Six movie.
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May 5, 2014 06:42
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Zelder posted:Yeah, a lot of the Current Releases start off with, "Yo, just a disclaimer, but I hate the poo poo out of X," and that's all fair and good, a reviewer should put their biases out there. But I got to this part in the Spider-Man retrospecticus: "Fair warning: More than all other superheroes, I really dislike Spider-Man. While Superman stands for unflinching optimism and Batman is his counterpoint pessimist, Spider-Man is the porn-hero for socially awkward weirdoes engorged with inarticulate nerd-rage and lovely attitudes towards women," and I was legitimately confused. I don't know if that's projection, or loading up a sentence with all the cool internet buzzwords right now, but I don't necessarily understand how that mantle falls onto Spider-Man, of all the heroes.
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May 5, 2014 07:09
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Yeah, spidey really is a mary sue for nerds. Way moreso than supes or bats.
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May 6, 2014 08:41
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effectual posted:Yeah, spidey really is a mary sue for nerds. Way moreso than supes or bats. I'm taking that as sarcasm. Spider-man is the anti-Mary Sue. Originally, anyways, he was pretty much the refutation to the nerd dream of what life would be like if they suddenly had super powers. The cash-strapped wallflower immediately tries to use his miraculous new powers to earn money and fame, but instead of fantasy wish-fulfillment, he gets screwed out of the cash and inadvertently allows his father figure to get killed. It's like seeing the tremulous nerd going up for a lay-up only to get stuffed by Hakeem Olajuwon. Fantasy rejected! That's Spider-man in a nutshell- he has super powers, sure, but life still kicks the poo poo out of him constantly. The first Raimi movie did a decent job of tapping into that. He defeats his bullies only to find everyone still thinks he's still a freak. His social status doesn't change in the least. Far from being his deliverance, his powers make him even more of an outcast, and when he tries to use them for self-gain, he loses a loved one. Web fluid costs money. His shooters break in a fight and he has to go without food to repair them. His aunt is constantly on the verge of eviction and she disapproves of his alter ego. Hell, everyone pretty much hates Spider-man. To make a buck, he has to supply picture fodder to the guy constantly lambasting him in the That's not exactly the sort of fantasy wish fulfillment I envision nerds looking for. It's like a constant refutation of their fantasies about how different things would be for them if they had power. Nope, nerds, it'd be even worse. Now Batman, on the other hand, a guy who spends all night in his basement on his awesome computer, driven to fight crime with a never-ending bank account and his incredible super-genius- that's more like nerd wish fulfillment. All of his various victories over Superman are pretty much pure-strain nerd wish fulfillment- the brain beating the jock with the power of smart, generally hinging on the jock (Superman) acting like a plot-mandated moron. The dark loner brooding in the shadows is the most dangerous man alive, just like your archetypical Mary Sue-seeking nerd likes to envision themselves.
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May 6, 2014 15:04
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The idea behind a properly written Spider-Man is the idea of sacrifice. Peter Parker could be the happiest man alive if he just puts away his costume. Being Spiderman brings misery to himself and those closest to him, and the question a writer should ask with his story is whether it's worth it to ensure the safety and happiness of people Peter will never know.
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May 6, 2014 15:20
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The thing about comic book characters is that everyone thinks that the heroes they like are nuanced three dimensional characters with rich backgrounds and motivations, while the ones they don't like are mary sue wish fulfillment.
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May 7, 2014 09:10
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I don't think Hawkman is Mary Sue wish fulfillment. I just think he sucks.
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May 7, 2014 13:08
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God how sad is the person that Hawkman is wish fulfillment for?
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May 7, 2014 18:13
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Tatum Girlparts posted:God how sad is the person that Hawkman is wish fulfillment for? 
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May 7, 2014 22:45
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Keanu Grieves posted:I know plenty of dudes who like Superman. Also, I'm apparently the first person on the Internet who used "porn-hero" in this context. It's not that I use Internet buzzwords; I originate them. What are you talking about, the guy whose main power is shooting white, sticky fluid on everyone and everything is in no way a porn-hero.
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May 8, 2014 00:04
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You know, originally, that wasn't a spider power. Peter Parker was also a total whiz bang kid genius who invented white sticky fluid to go with his actual spider powers. Apparently, at the time, it was considered more plausible to have Peter Parker be super smart than to have him get spider web powers from a radioactive spider. I mean geez how's that even supposed to work super strength and stuff makes total sense but how could someone get webbing powers from a radioactive spider that's just crazy.
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May 8, 2014 01:03
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Some Guy TT posted:You know, originally, that wasn't a spider power. Peter Parker was also a total whiz bang kid genius who invented white sticky fluid to go with his actual spider powers. Apparently, at the time, it was considered more plausible to have Peter Parker be super smart than to have him get spider web powers from a radioactive spider. I mean geez how's that even supposed to work super strength and stuff makes total sense but how could someone get webbing powers from a radioactive spider that's just crazy. I prefer Brown Recluse from Venture Brothers. He had six eyes and shot webbing from his rear end. Meanwhile, the Return to Oz review reminded me of the oldest oak tree part of John Buck Jr. and not in a good way.
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May 11, 2014 13:35
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Mars Needs Moms is on the Disney Channel tonight, in case any of you didn't believe me the first time.
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May 11, 2014 16:29
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Of course you know what's on the Disney Channel tonight.
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May 11, 2014 17:58
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Keanu Grieves posted:Of course you know what's on the Disney Channel tonight.
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May 11, 2014 18:42
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UP NEXT: iMarty
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May 11, 2014 18:47
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Y-Hat posted:Hey now, Dog With a Blog won't watch itself. Nah, we gotta get JayDub on that.
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May 11, 2014 19:46
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:Nah, we gotta get JayDub on that.
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May 11, 2014 19:49
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I remember Legends of Oz being brought up in a CineD thread about upcoming poo poo back in early January. Since then I completely forgot about until a week ago, when they started airing commercials for it non-stop on the Food Network. I guess they're going for the housewives with kids demographic. Then again, ads for The Other Woman also ran nonstop on Food Network, which I guess was there to warn housewives that their husbands are cheating on them while they're watching Barefoot Contessa?
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May 11, 2014 21:02
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Keanu Grieves posted:UP NEXT: iMarty Is there really a show on The Disney Channel that tries to cash in on the popularity of iCarly?
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May 12, 2014 01:41
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The MSJ posted:Is there really a show on The Disney Channel that tries to cash in on the popularity of iCarly?
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May 12, 2014 05:23
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