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I think the English leagues are actually the only ones where you can appeal the automatic ban after a wrongful red card, and it got them in hot water with FIFA and UEFA a few times, but in the end they couldn't do anything against the oldest football association in the world.
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May 3, 2014 22:33
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Yikes, that's a ton of injuries for the first few games. Top 4: Man U, Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal Bottom 3: West Ham, Watford, Bristol City. Champion's League: Barcelona FA Cup: Man U League Cup: Wrexham (I don't know anything about soccer so I just pulled names out of a hat  )
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May 3, 2014 22:39
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Top 4: Man Utd, Tottenham, Man City, Chelsea Bottom 3: Watford, Bristol City, Cardiff Champion's Leage: Fiorentina FA Cup: Man Utd League Cup: Tottenham Names! Names for winning! I already know what I will demand, put a team in Skrill North full of Canadian hockey players and see how they do. That's too bad about the injuries, so is this just a really bad run of luck or are these injuries a result of the play style that you have set up?
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May 3, 2014 23:26
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Top 4: Man United, Chelsea, Man City, Tottenham Bottom 3: Bristol City, Blackburn, Watford Champions League: Man United FA Cup: Everton League Cup: The Mighty Wrexham! Who knows, I may win this one! Also habe, are you planning on showing off Classic mode? Cause I've been considering starting up a Football Manager 2014 Challenge Mode LP and didn't want to step on the God-King's toes if you were planning on showing it off one day 
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May 3, 2014 23:54
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my dad posted:I didn't quite get what you meant to say with that last sentence, was it "I can't understand my own accent" perhaps? Was supposed to be "I can't understand your accents." since he's talking to a Scotsman and an Aussie. That actually came up in the google translate, I just couldn't figure out how to fix it and knew that the rest of the translation was going to be spotty at best anyways. my dad posted:The first part means "I lost" as in "I'm defeated", not "I'm lost" as in "I'm confused." But the funny part is that the verb is in feminine form, so Cirjak is subtly pointing out that he's actually a lady. The second has a minor word choice error, but nothing big. The last part ends up meaning "to be cursing (as in 'screaming curses at') this language" Awesome. Cirjak being a fatalist might become a personality trait. my dad posted:By the way, Cirjak (which I assume is actually Čirjak) is pronounced Cheer-yuck. You slightly missed how Tonči is pronounced, but nothing major. The 'o' is like 'oo' in 'door' except short. Yeah, I looked up someone pronouncing it. I just didn't know how to phoneticize the first syllable to make sure people didn't read "ton" as in weight. I considered making a joke about Shirra nicknaming him Jacks, but passed on it since I didn't know how to properly pronounce it myself. I really appreciate your corrections, the best I can do as a monolingual American is try not to screw up too much and use simple sentences to avoid a total train crash. If it's Spanish I can do a less horrible job, but I'll still make big mistakes since my Spanish is high school level at best.
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May 3, 2014 23:55
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My guesses are: Top 4: Man United, Arsenal, Man City, Wrexham Bottom 3: West Ham, Blackburn, Aston Villa Champions League: Dortmund FA Cup: Chelsea League Cup: Everton
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May 4, 2014 00:26
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habeasdorkus posted:On a better note, our jersey sales are up three times what they were just last year. We're starting to get bandwagon fans. And if you think football hipsters love Wrexham now, just wait until I unveil our WM formation. To get that joke you have to know that the WM is an obsolete formation developed almost 100 years ago. As I said, football hipsters will love us. If you're really going to do obsolete formations, you should try the pyramid. The 2-3-5 is Wrexham's baby after all, if Volume II of Caxton's Association Football is to be believed.
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May 4, 2014 00:29
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Top 4: Man U, Arsenal, Man C, Wrexham Bottom 3: Derby, Watford, Bristol Champions League: Real Madrid FA Cup: Chelsea League Cup: Wrexham Any chance of an up to date screenshot of Di Martino? If the first update is any indication he's gonna be seriously involved this season, and I have no idea what he's like. Can't even remember when he arrived, but unless I'm blind it's at least 2 years ago.
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May 4, 2014 00:36
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CoarsestGrate posted:If you're really going to do obsolete formations, you should try the pyramid. The 2-3-5 is Wrexham's baby after all, if Volume II of Caxton's Association Football is to be believed. Then have the Christmas Tree as your alternate.  Man, the squad you'd need to cover those two at the same time...
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May 4, 2014 00:39
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Top 4: Wrexham, Wrexham, Wrexham, Wrexham Bottom 3: Wrexham, Wrexham, Wrexham Champions League: Wrexham FA Cup: Wrexham League Cup: Wrexham
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May 4, 2014 00:41
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CoarsestGrate posted:If you're really going to do obsolete formations, you should try the pyramid. The 2-3-5 is Wrexham's baby after all, if Volume II of Caxton's Association Football is to be believed. Oh snap, good point. And then I could go on long digressions about "Inverting the Pyramid." This is a very likely topic for season 13, after our second straight sextuple.
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May 4, 2014 01:21
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beru04 posted:Also habe, are you planning on showing off Classic mode? Cause I've been considering starting up a Football Manager 2014 Challenge Mode LP and didn't want to step on the God-King's toes if you were planning on showing it off one day I'd be interested to see what they're like, feel free to do them if you want. 
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May 4, 2014 01:46
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Trundel posted:That's too bad about the injuries, so is this just a really bad run of luck or are these injuries a result of the play style that you have set up? You can get more injuries in training if you have the training workload set at a high level, which was the cause of a couple injuries early on when we were first getting started. The rest is bad luck.
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May 4, 2014 02:25
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Personally, I prefer the 9-0-1 formation, aka the 'why even bother getting off the team bus?' tactic.
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May 4, 2014 02:52
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May 4, 2014 10:22
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Things are going great as usual! I love this LP. I have a request, could you show us the depth chart for the team and the profiles/stats of our key players (Mujkic, Shirra, Bastable, whomever else you think shines above the rest) ?
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May 4, 2014 10:41
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TorakFade posted:Things are going great as usual! I love this LP. Happy to oblige. I'll make that the focus of the midseason interlude. I got tickets to the Liverpool v. Roma friendly in Boston for my birthday! I'm psyched.
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May 4, 2014 13:50
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Top 4: Chelsea, Man City, Man U, Arsenal Bottom 3: Watford, Aston Villa, Bristol City Champion's League: Man City FA Cup: Man U League Cup: Wrexham
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May 4, 2014 14:00
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my dad posted:The first part means "I lost" as in "I'm defeated", not "I'm lost" as in "I'm confused." But the funny part is that the verb is in feminine form, so Cirjak is subtly pointing out that he's actually a lady. The second has a minor word choice error, but nothing big. The last part ends up meaning "to be cursing (as in 'screaming curses at') this language" (Drunkenly) Ooooh, he puts the lad in lady, he puts the lad in lady, three cheers for Cirjak! (Ashamed) I'm sorry for that terrible song. Aaaanyway. gently caress you for reminding me of San Lorenzo, we just went down to them at the Libertadores Round of 16 and I've come to hate seeing Your Holiness' likeness because it precedes some dumb rivals.net joke.  LP is still great, tho. Bastable is the striker I wish my team had in real life. how can i edit a real life savefile i hate this
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May 4, 2014 15:09
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Bastable would be a horror of a player for the tabloids. Obvious puns they can't use? Terrible.
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May 4, 2014 16:14
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habeasdorkus posted:Happy to oblige. I'll make that the focus of the midseason interlude. The tickets to Man U vs Real Madrid here are more than $200 for nose bleed, and when you have only one deck in a stadium that seats 100k+, those are REALLY far away. I'm hoping they come down on stubhub in the summer.
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May 4, 2014 18:20
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Chapter the Second: Proteges and prodigies. September 15, 2020-October 20, 2020 We've won two and lost two. Let's see if we keep up our good form and improve on that mark.  They need to add a feature where you can call up a journalist to make a comment, because I'd be calling my old pal Connor Watkin and giving him an earful about exactly what the FA can do with that suspension. I'd be happy to serve a sideline suspension and let the AssMan manage a game if it meant being able to scorch their asses.  Bram's not going to grow into a good partner for Bastable if he isn't on the training field.  Speaking of Bastable and Aarts.  That went well. Aarts is a big, strapping fellow like Bastable, perfect for leading the attacking line or being our target man in the 4-4-1-1 or 4-2-3-1 formations if he can buck up his courage. This also reminds me to go through other potential mentoring arrangements.  I might as well try to improve Novotny. He's going to end up on the auction block in a year or so and I want him to fetch a good price.  After trying to set up this match I realize that it probably wasn't the best idea to ask a Serbian to mentor a Croat.  Lastly, Mujkic is a full grown man at age 23, and I'm happy to put our vice-captain to work. vs. Swansea, September 20, 2020 Premier League  We play the Welsh teams back to back. Swansea are a good team but we're at home and I want to control this game, so we're going to start with the 4-2-3-1. We're missing Shirra due to his injury and Todd due to his red card suspension, but Boumsong will be back in the lineup. The Swans are lining up in a weird variant of the 4-4-2, with two attacking wingers and two defensive midfielders with no one playing central midfield. It leaves six at the back and four up front, I have to imagine that it's intended to play a direct, counter attacking style. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Lewis, Boumsong (c), Mejasic, Mair, Petts, Matko, Nieddu, Mujkic, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Dos Santos, Feruga, Morvan, Djurovic, Bailey, Aarts. The 4-2-3-1 is a good fit for our team. Our defense is one of the fastest in the league, which allows us to play high up on the pitch without worrying about getting burned, and we now have enough talent on offense to play a possession game. We spend the first half rendering the Swans attack helpless, but don't score a goal until a botched clearance from a corner rebounds off a Swansea defender for an own goal. When the game ends our team never look like losing, over the entire game Swansea spends just 1% of the time in our third of the pitch while we spend 21% of the game hammering at their defenses, the score belies our overwhelming dominance through all 90 minutes. Man of the Match: Cyril Boumsong   Wrexham 1-0  I feel good about our chances too, but we're going to have a tired squad as this is just two days after the Swansea fixture.  Sing it, Boumsong. At Nottingham Forest, September 22, 2020 Capital One Cup, Third Round  I want to win a cup this year. I think we can do it if we get a bit lucky in the draw, but if we're going to get there we need to avoid tripping over lower league squads like Nottingham. Starting Formation: 4-3-2-1 Control Starting 11: Novotny, Dos Santos, Todd, Feruga, Richard, Morvan, Djurovic, Matko, Nieddu, Mujkic (c), Bastable. Subs: Kovacevic, Mejasic, Lewis, Mair, Petts, Jefferies, De Blasio. Mujkic and Bastable combine on a very nice bit of old school cross into the box play to score the first goal. Nieddu, playing the attacking central midfielder position this game, and Matko combine for our second when Matko can beat the offside trap and get a clean shot. The third has Nieddu getting another assist, this time to Bastable. It's less than 30 minutes in and Nottingham seems unable to cope with our attack. I feel comfortable enough with our lead at the interval that I pull Bastable to keep him fresh for League matches. After an hour the scoreboard is unchanged, so off comes Mujkic for the same reason. It's at that point that Nottingham manages to put one on the board, and we haven't been as good in the second half as we were during the first. Then I'm forced to use my third substitution for Todd, who has had an excellent game but goes down and cannot continue with 20 minutes remaining. The substitutions don't make a difference, we restore our three goal lead when a Nottingham defender misses a header and the ball bounces to an unmarked Nieddu. He caps yet another fabulous game by winning his one on one with the keeper, giving him a goal and two assists on the match. Man of the Match: Dmitri Nieddu   Nottingham 1-4 Wrexham  He's off to a blinding start, with 4 goals and 2 assists in six games. I think the fans should start singing “Eye of the Tiger” for our Italian Stallion. Though that might confuse the actual Rocky on our team.  Higgs is still on Everton, and is getting playing time. He'll play several years as a Premier League keeper, but I'm glad we upgraded. Higgs was solid for us over the course of five years, but Kovacevic makes the great individual plays that Higgs never seemed able to.    After six games I feel like I have enough of an idea of how the regular starting 11 is going to look that I can change the expected playing times to match. This displeases a few players who have been bumped down the depth chart. They'll get over it.  Newcastle sold nearly £50m in players after getting bumped from the Premier League, and saw their wage bill drop from £52.4 to £33.2m. They're tearing up the Championship, though, so this will still be like playing a lower table EPL side.  Arsenal was bounced from the League Cup by Sunderland, and the new owners of the team are not pleased. I thought I would relay some of our supporter's sentiments in my interview by enjoying their misfortune.   We're still learning how to play in the new formations, and the team is not all the way there when it comes to having an attacking or possession mentality or playing at a higher tempo. But we're most of the way there, which means we have three looks to throw at our opponents and keep them guessing. Moreover, the team will be comfortable when I make ingame strategic and tactical changes that are a part of what they've practiced for another tactic. That is, our players won't miss a step if I switch us to a counter-attack strategy in our 4-4-2 Diamond formation because we've already drilled the counter-attacking mentality in our 4-4-1-1 strategy. At Aston Villa, September , 2020 Premier League  The team has been playing well, and so much of that has been built around our proficient on offense. I have enough faith in the team now to try and beat a recently promoted team like Villa straight up even when we're away from home. This will also be the first game for Aarts, who's finally back to full health after being injured literally a couple hours after arriving at the club. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong, Todd, Mejasic, Mair, Djurovic, Mujkic (c), Nieddu, Aarts, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Dos Santos, Feruga, Morvan, Petts, Matko, Bailey. The game is scoreless, with our lads having the slight advantage, until Villa catches us on the break and an error by Todd allows their striker to get on the end of a low cross from the byline. We respond at 41 minutes when Bastable is yanked to the ground as a long throw-in is directed his way in the penalty area and Djurovic scores on the ensuing penalty kick. Then we take grab the lead ourselves in first half stoppage time, with Bram Aarts scoring in his debut on another well delivered ball from Nieddu. The magma hot Italian creates the next goal as well, with a wonderful back heel pass to Aarts which is turned into a bullet that the keeper is just able to turn away but that ends up directly at Mujkic's feet. Meteor, on a sweet run of form himself, can't and doesn't miss the second chance. Villa muster just one threatening set of moves over the rest of the game, and the 19-year-old Aarts completes a dream debut for the club. The win moves us up to second place in the league, though our schedule has been admittedly soft. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   61Aston Villa 1-3 Wrexham  You got talent, kid. I'm going to give you every chance to develop it. By the end of the season I expect our loaner, Di Martino, will be my third choice when picking the team. If Aarts keeps impressing as he did against Villa I might even need a mid-season strategic tweak to start playing two strikers up top in our other formations.  We didn't miss Shirra at all, thanks to Nieddu proving me a genius at talent evaluation. But now that Shirra is back you can expect to see both of them on the pitch, with Nieddu out wide and Shirra in the center.   He's not very pleased with me at this point, as it's become clear he's a rotation option and now I'm getting on his back about his newfound love of rarebit. I mean, I understand why he eats it every day, rarebit is delicious, but he's a professional athlete!  It was a heck of a strike, though it was only possible due to lazy defending from Cardiff that allowed the cross to reach him in the first place.  I'm the Rodney Dangerfield of managers. We won just as many games as Man U, and played tougher opposition. They had a better goal differential, 10-1 compared to our 6-2, but they're also the favorite to win the league while we're merely predicted to be top half. I get no respect.  My job security is trending back upwards, but I'm still not sure why it ever fell from “untouchable” in the first place. Also, with the two best Aussies in a generation playing for us we're shipping a lot of Bastable and Mujkic jerseys Down Under. If the US ever develops a great player I'm going to make his signing a priority to enhance our status as a popular club across the pond.  At least someone appreciates me. Even if he's secretly hoping I get complacent so we blow the game against his squad. vs. West Ham United, October 3, 2020 Premier League  The Hammers are back in the top division, but unless they turn things around they won't have a long stay. They're currently sitting 19th and are winless over six games. I want us to make it seven, and impose our will upon them during the game. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Feruga, Richards, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Dos Santos, Lewis, Mair, Bailey, Matko, Aarts. West Ham starts the game with the ball, but within 15 seconds we've gained possession when Boumsong intercepts a pass with his bald noggin. Shirra, showing zero rust from his two weeks on the shelf, makes a run into the penalty area and then lays the ball back for Mujkic, who scores as the 26th second ticks by on the match clock. West Ham steadies from the early blow, and 25 minutes later it remains our only attempted shot and our possession advantage has dwindled to a deficit. I relay orders to move away from our possession based attack into a more fast paced game to try and counteract West Ham's success at defanging us since the first minute. Instead, things go to hell in a high velocity handbasket. The Hammers score three times in six minutes as the entire stadium watches in dumbstruck silence. I rapidly change us into our 4-4-2 Diamond configuration, but despite several opportunities in the remaining minutes of the first half we can't claw our way back into striking distance. Halftime sees the demolition of a chair by a baseball bat, and two substitutions. Petts, who had scored an own goal to put West Ham up two, and Richards, who made a key error that lead to another West Ham goal, come out in exchange for Aarts and Dos Santos. It doesn't make a difference, as we allow yet another West Ham goal in the 53rd minute. Then forty seconds later Shirra goes down injured, and I have to use my last substitution to replace him. Things don't get any worse after that, but they don't get better either. Feruga is able to score after a corner to give us a faint hope in the 66th minute, but it's all we get despite plenty of chances. We drop a game we had no business losing, and I have no doubt I'll hear the justified outrage all over town.   Wrexham 2-4 West Ham  Trying to take my mind off the West Ham travesty, I notice that Marc Jansen is rocking the Eredivise while Lasse Johanssen is holding his own in the Championship. If they keep it up and we'll have a surfeit of centerbacks in the coming years.  Good job scheduling friendlies for the actual international break, Australia!  Mujkic and Bastable combined for five goals and two assists against Saudi Arabia, and they don't miss any time with the team. See Australia, we can peacefully coexist. We don't need to destroy each other's squads over Meteor and the Bastard.   My relationship has been in such tatters since I dropped him down the depth chart that he actually loses morale when I congratulate him on his first international goal. Hopefully I can mend fences with him, or he'll never reach his full potential.   That ought to stop him from complaining. He's only had two games with a rating below 6.7 since February, and has a solid 7.05 rating over the club's last 20 matches, so he does deserve the raise. But holding off allows us to milk his favorable contract a little bit longer.  A French reporter hunts down Stuart Simpson In the run-up to our match in North London against the Spurs and finds him happy to gush over Mujkic. He's not wrong, Meteor has been fabulous this season, with five goals and three assists in eight games. At Tottenahm Hotspur, October 19, 2020 Premier League  I'm concerned about the hangover from that West Ham loss. Giving up four goals is never good, and we're not going to be able to score often at Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Lewis, Mejasic, Djurovic, Mair, petts, Mujkic, Shirra, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Dos Santos, Todd, Morvan, Nieddu, Matko, Di Martino. Our counter-attack knocks Tottenham on their rear end, and who else but the Mighty Meteor makes them pay. We have two more chances before Shirra adds to our tally, and through 25 minutes the Dragons are roasting Spurs alive. By halftime we have eleven shots, seven on target, to Tottenham's one. The domination continues into the latter part of the game, but at 56 minutes our surehanded keeper makes an excruciating error when he lets an easy save bounce off his hands and into the net to bring Tottenham back into the game. They don't get a second stroke of luck, though, and the game finishes with Spurs on the receiving end of a hiding in full view of their own fans. The shot total tells the whole story: Spurs three, Wrexham twenty-one. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Tottenham 1-2 Wrexham  The only negative to take away from that match, other than good-natured ribbing of Kovacevic for his howler, is that Mejasic will miss a game due to having racked up five yellow cards already. We're collecting more this season as each of our tactics require the players to hassle their opponents. I'm happy to make this tradeoff as our defense is the fastest in the Premier League and thus we can play a pressing game knowing that our back line will rarely get burned by their opponents. If we continue to improve I expect to institute a high line in the near future to take even greater advantage of that advantage.  Remember the name Isaac Stringel over the coming years, he could be the next Hugo Sanchez. We can't sign him yet as he doesn't meet work permit requirements, but I've been having my scouts keep an eye on him. He's off to Sao Paulo during the next transfer window, and will cost an arm and a leg when he finally makes his way to Europe in a few years. If it's three years from now we might be able to afford him.  We're in sixth place two months after our season has begun. We've beaten Tottenham Hotspur again, and this time we did it in their house. Our one loss over the last four league games came in an uncharacteristic fashion, and we picked ourselves right back up from that. Best of all, Meteor is back, baby. After a season where he was seldom anything other than average he has taken the league by storm with five goals and two assists over eight fixtures. If we can keep this up, we're going to be in the conversation for the Champion's League and some silverware. 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Sep 27, 2014 |
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May 6, 2014 02:53
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Also, what the gently caress are you doing in Southampton, Sky Shadowing? Do you want to get relegated?
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May 6, 2014 03:00
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6th in the league and three points back from the 2nd place team. 
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May 6, 2014 03:20
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habeasdorkus posted:Also, what the gently caress are you doing in Southampton, Sky Shadowing? Do you want to get relegated? Embezzling money. Oh, that was supposed to be rhetorical, right?
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May 6, 2014 03:58
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habeasdorkus posted:Also, what the gently caress are you doing in Southampton, Sky Shadowing? Do you want to get relegated? Sky fortresses don't pay for themselves, you know.
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May 6, 2014 04:05
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On related news, Football Manager 2014 is $17 on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ESN8YGW/ref=dsvrt_review_asin_detail
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May 6, 2014 06:04
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Dreamsicle posted:On related news, Football Manager 2014 is $17 on Amazon. That's less than a Wrexham club membership!
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May 6, 2014 06:33
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Man U are killing it; +15 goal difference already and 7 wins from 8. I can't remember, does the game show betting forecasts for the cup? Be interested to see if we're getting good odds.
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May 6, 2014 14:19
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habeasdorkus posted:Also, what the gently caress are you doing in Southampton, Sky Shadowing? Do you want to get relegated? I'm doing the best job that I can!  Oh god, what have I done? 
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May 6, 2014 14:58
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It's not your fault. I didn't change you to a Sugar Daddy until just before the close of the transfer window so you didn't have time to infuse a whole lot more money. Southampton's wages are 60m a year, though, and net transfer spending was about even. You are on the hook for picking a terrible manager, though. The club should be able to turn it around, they've got a good amount of talent on the team, but that's one heck of an early hole.
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May 6, 2014 18:34
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Now that I got FM 2014 and the first then I realize is that I don't know where to begin. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything I'm not sure what the first order of business should be as a new manager. I know to start with the guides but I'm not sure what I should do first. Basically what I want is a flowchart of what to do before, during and after a season. I'll study how to do those things in the guide.
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May 7, 2014 02:40
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I find that the first offseason is always the most work between getting familiar with the squad and coaches and setting up things like tactics, training, and scouting. I'd suggest going back to the first volume of the LP, I try to cover a lot of that stuff. I'm not sure who you're playing as, and that will make a big difference as a big club with a healthy bank account is going to be a vastly different experience than a semi-pro team, but roughly: First Offseason Sign new Coaches (if needed) Look at your team to see where your strengths and weaknesses are. Set Tactics (including corner takers/penalty takers/free kick takers) Set Team Training (focus on fitness for the first month, team cohesion for the second, then balanced. Max out tactical training time until the team is reported comfortable with your tactics) Set Individual Training Set up Friendlies (not that important if you already have some) Sign new players First Half Set up Scouting. Evaluate your players over the course of games. Practice your pre-, half-time, and post-game pep talks. Learn how to use the various tactical shouts. Figure out how you like to follow the actual matches using the in-match engine (e.g. just being shown the highlights or goals, watching whole matches in either normal speed or fast forwarded, getting just the commentary). Winter Transfer Window Making upgrades to the team, if you have money to do so. Selling players, if there's anyone you want to rid yourself of. March (I'm assuming you're playing an English or Scottish team) When you get your youth recruits go to other teams at the same or lower level and scout their youth intake. Sign the best of them, you may not find anyone or you might get someone awesome. Second Offseason Offer new contracts to players who are almost out of contract that you want to keep. Sell players Buy players Training and Tactics when the team returns from the break.
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May 7, 2014 13:23
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Chapter the Fourth: Dragons Down Under. October 20, 2020-November 25, 2020 The schedule is doing us no favors, we play Everton away on Sunday the 25th and have our trip up north to Newcastle for the League Cup on the 27th. Then we play Manchester United to finish off the week on Saturday. Newcastle is the game I most want to win, and the one we're most likely to win, but I wouldn't promise a victory in any of those matches. Also, Man U have beaten us every time we've played going back to my first season with the club in 2015, when they stomped us in the Third Round of the FA Cup.  We'll have been on TV three times in the last four games. The general population of viewers don't have much reason to think highly of us, we won just two of twelve televised games last season, but we've already won three this time around and seem to be getting chosen more often. At Everton, October 25, 2020 Premier League  Another tough away game, another occasion I break out the 4-4-1-1. Everton is going to be a major challenger for a Europa League spot, they came within bare inches of clawing their way into the Champion's League last season before a late slump saw them finish four points back. Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong, Todd, Richards, Nieddu, Mair, Djurovic, Mujkic, Shirra, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Dos Santos, Feruga, Morvan, Petts, Matko, Di Martino. I try to write up informative and interesting game reports, but there's nothing to say about this game. There isn't a single clear cut chance for either team, and there were only five shots on target between both of them! We don't play badly, and a draw shouldn't be begrudged in an away game against a good team, but it's the type of game that makes people say that soccer is boring. It's our first draw of the year, over the last 14 months we've had only six of those out of more than fifty matches.   Everton 0-0 Wrexham  Even more reason to favor Aarts over the loaner. Di Martino has started three games and been subbed into three more with nothing to show for it. At Newcastle United, October 27, 2020 Capital One Cup, Fourth Round  I want a win from this match, the board wants me to get to the quarterfinals at a bare minimum. We've got a lot of squad rotation as guys like Mujkic and Shirra are less than 90% for this match. That should still be to see off Newcastle, but I'm a bit concerned. They're in first place and are looking like locks to get back to the Premier League, and I remain amazed that they went down in the first place. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Lewis, Todd (c), Dos Santos, Morvan, Matko, Mejasic, Petts, Aarts, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Richards, Feruga, Mair, Bailey, Nieddu, Di Martino. Newcastle catches us napping at the whistle, and after seventeen seconds we're down a goal. We spend the next sixty minutes repeatedly giving Newcastle chances to hit us on the break. That finally changes as we enter the last fifteen minutes, but our flurry fails to land a clean blow and even up the match. We're knocked out of the Capital One Cup by a lower league side for the second year in a row, and already one of our paths to Europe closes. Man of the Match: Stewart Lewis   Newcastle 1-0 Wrexham  The only reason I won't send him away is because we need a third striker for when we play a 4-4-2, but he's not covering himself with glory so far.  Crud. Jansen was doing great with AZ until this injury. This will set back his development a lot, and he will probably spend next year on loan as well. vs. Manchester United, October 31, 2020 Premier League  Manchester United has lost one game this year, against Everton. We drew against Everton, so by the Transitive Property of Sports theorem we should be able to get a result against them. I'm not confident about that proving true given how we fared against Newcastle. A draw will be our best result ever against Manchester United. Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Feruga, Todd, Mejasic, Djurovic, Mair, Petts, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Richards, Lewis, Morvan, Nieddu, Matko, Aarts. Tonci Cirjak needs consoling after he's in the perfect position to clear a throw-in from our area but whiffs and watches it continue to a wide open United striker in front of the net. Kovacevic is able to deflect the first point blank shot, but United's other forward is right there to volley the rebound past him. It's 10 minutes into the game and things are going as expected. Three minutes later Djurovic passes into open space ten yards from the near post for Bastable, who beats his man to the ball and lofts a cross over the heads of the United defenders to a late arriving Mujkic. Meteor fires the cross in on the volley, and the United keeper has no chance to stop it. Mateo's not done yet, when we earn a free kick from the middle third of the field he launches a Roberto Carlos-esque free kick that bends just under the crossbar at the far post, a beautiful free kick goal that puts us on top. The players stay focused, preventing Manchester United from getting easy chances and the theorem proves true. We've had a lot of great wins over my run with the club, but this might top all of them. Man of the Match: Meteor Motherfunkin' Mujkic   Wrexham 2-1 Man United  Never doubted it. You calling me a liar?  Someone put money on the Southampton manager for the Sack Race. I mean, I know from experience that Sky Shadowing is a patient and wonderful club president but even he has his limits.  Maybe we've been thinking all wrong about Shirra's nickname. Maybe instead of a play on his name we need an epithet. Like “Man-killing Hector” or “Swift-footed Achilles.”  The loss to lowly Wrexham keeps AU-Moyes from winning yet another Manager of the Month award. That makes me almost as happy as if I had won the award myself.  The funds showed up in the form of 100 pound notes in a black duffel bag waiting in my office one morning. A note was attached, saying “For make benefit of glorious Football Club Wrexham.”  Back to untouchable! The fans are right about the Bastard, though. Even with his key assist in the last game he's been off his game.   Gotta get rid of Tosh, Sky Shadowing. He's not that good a comedian, and an even worse coach. Putting him under more pressure couldn't hurt, especially as this match will be played up in the media as Sky Shadowing's new club faces off against his old one. vs. Southampton, November 7, 2020 Premier League  We'll be besties regardless of the outcome, right Sky? Unless we lose, in which case I will be really angry at dropping points to the 19th position team. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Boumsong (c), Todd, Mejasic, Mair, Djurovic, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Richards, Feruga, Morvan, Petts, Matko, Aarts. I played this game through once, and won 1-0. The scoreline makes the game look closer than it was, we allowed them just one long range shot all match. Then I had to return to it for a reason that became apparent. We won the replay 2-0 despite playing much, much worse than the first time around, and could have been held to a draw if Kovacevic hadn't been at his best. We were indecisive in the first half, but our quality showed in the second, and on a bright note I can report that Dmitri Nieddu has found his scoring touch again after seven goalless games. Man of the Match: Vid Kovacevic   Wrexham 2-0 Southampton  The first time around I had mocked Tosh's ineptitude as his squad had come out listless and played like they always expected to lose. This time I'm more conciliatory, they did give us a real fight in the first half and Kovacevic won man of the match because of the saves they forced him to make. Outside the Horse and Jockey The witching hour, November 9, 2020 (MUJKIC and BASTABLE are passing a brown bag between them on the deserted street while waiting for their ride home.)  : OZZIE! OZZIE! OZZIE! : OI! OI! OI!(An UNMARKED VAN pulls up to the curb, the door rolling open) : About time, mate.(Four BURLY NE'ERDOWELLS leap from the van and quickly hustle both players into the back) : What's your problem, you bogans! The cops only came by once to tell us to quiet down while we waited!: Err...(Across the van sits an IMPOSING FIGURE, that they recognize. He is most definitely not one of the volunteers who operates the late night designated driver program.)  : Gentlemen... It is time... For the AFF SUZUKI CUP! The Racecourse Grounds The next morning, November 9, 2020 (COACH is addressing the morning meeting of players)  : No one has seen Mujkic or Bastable? : No. It's weird, they're usually the first ones here.(The rear end MAN bursts through the door, waving a piece of paper)  : Coach, we just got this fax. You need to see this.: I can't believe it. He actually did it... Team dismissed. No practice or meetings the next four days. Bailey, Shirra, Todd, stick around. Operation: Rescuers Down Under just began.Customs and Immigration at Perth Airport Late afternoon, November 10 (The WREXHAM players and COACH are waiting in line for entry into Australia)  : This is never going to work.: Of course it's going to work. Just act like you have nothing to hide. But don't look like you're acting like you have nothing to hide. : (Moaning) How do we do that?: (Exasperated) I don't know! Just... walk casual. Hang on, I got one last thing to do.(COACH puts on a HAT and CROC SKIN JACKET before approaching the immigration agent)  : Good arvo! : Welcome back, mate! Passport, please? : Wait, I recognize you.: That's right! I'm the new manager of the Socceroos! Big Bell Hotel, Lake Austin The next morning (The WREXHAM players and COACH pull up to the gates of the GHOST TOWN where ELLIOT stands awaiting them, ELLIOT speaks as they exit the vehicles.) : I heard the news. You've replaced me? Impossible. Just walk away and I'll give you your freedom.: (Perplexedly) Freedom?: I won't call the authorities and tell them that you're in country on false documents.: Oh, good point.: But only one manager determines when and where the Australians play internationally! You and all the other managers employing them can only weep and beg mercy, for I am the Ayatollah of Screw-you-ovah!(A tumbleweed blows across the ground between the two men as they stare each other down) A Small Hut 15 minutes later (BASTABLE and MUJKIC sit on their cots, staring at the locked door) : I hate this, Mat.: Yeh. I love playing for our country, but this is crazy.: Why do we need to be around for games against East Timor?: And why did Coach Elliot kidnap us?!(Suddenly the door bursts open, with a SHORT FIGURE framed in the light flooding through the doorway) : A little short for a stormtrooper, aren't you?: What? Oh, the light... I'm here with Coach, we're taking you back to Wales!: But what about Coach Elliot?: Coach challenged him to a battle of wits. He's out cold right now. Let's go!: Wait, there's so many other players from other teams locked up here! We have to free them first.The Racecourse Grounds Morning, November 13, 2020 (TODD is talking with COACH) : So his piece of toast were poisoned with vegemite the whole time?: No, I poisoned both of them.: Then how...?: I've spent the last few years building up an immunity to vegemite.  You'd have thought they'd realize something was up when my assumed name was Pau Hogan and not Paul Hogan due to a typo. But now at least all the top division players are back with their teams. The Australian team is manned by players who deserve a B-team callup.  As quickly as he arrived on the world scene he was gone. No one could even tell you where he came from.  Mejasic is unimpressed with Mujkic's mild PTSD since the kidnapping. I'm not sure why their personalities don't mesh, it could be that Mujkic is too ambitious or not aggressive enough for Mejasic.  I'm starting to think that Daniel Matko is Croatian for Anthony Walsh. That's not fair to Matko, he's not that fragile, but I'm glad that we have both Nieddu and Djurovic to cover the right flank.   “Great” facilities are a 14 of 20. I believe Superb begins at 16, Excellent at 18, and Top at 20.  With the facilities newly improved, I'm reminded about the other board requests that I need to fulfill.  Election's comin'! I'm going to do it a bit differently this time. Instead of running the contest now, I'll hold a new election if AJ_Impy loses. So if one pops up in an update or so, you know that his reign was short.  Shirra should be shortlisted. He's having a slight sophmore slump, but he won the second most prestigious award in England with the writer's award last year at the age of 20.  Wales! Wales! Wales! I want to bring Davies to Wrexham for a few seasons before the end of his career.  The higher your league position, the more often you get on TV. We're in fifth place, hence a lot of coverage. Manchester United has been on TV for all but one of their league matches this season, that's an additional 7.9m pounds of income already on top of the base 42m pounds every team gets. We're scheduled for six televised matches in our first twelve games, after having just nine last year. If that pace stays constant, we'll earn more than £16.6m in additional TV revenue. This is one reason why even megabastards without sugar daddies stay megabastards. Not only does Arsenal get £20m more in TV revenue than Crystal Palace, but then you have to add in the additional money from the Champion's League, higher match day revenue from a better stadium and ticket prices, the difference in prize money for where they finished on the table, and Arsenal's much higher endorsement and merchandise sales. Hence Arsenal can run with a huge payroll and buy some of the best players even if they're having a down year.  We've gone from having two reserve centerbacks who might be ready for a first team position next year to zero. Thanks, injuries. At Reading, November 22, 2020 Premier League  The Swansea/Cardiff derby is later in the day, so we should have a good idea which of them could challenge us for the Cwp. There's been no sign of Pete Elliot trying to kidnap any of the players we freed, so I'm starting to breathe easier about Mujkic or Bastable being called up over the next month. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Boumsong (c), Todd, Mejasic, Mair, Djurovic, Mujkic, Shirra, Aarts, Bastable. Subs: Novotny, Feruga, Lewis, Morvan, Nieddu, Petts, Di Martino. Reading look dangerous from the start, and score at 25 and 34 minutes. Both goals came when Mejasic gets abused, I have to pull him and his 4.6 rating at the half. We're not any better after the break, our defense continues to get filleted while our offense seems to have forgotten which color their teammates were when passing the ball, and we concede a third goal in the 63rd minute. Mujkic finally pulls one back shortly thereafter, but while our play in the final third of the game is much improved we can't get a goal, much less the two we'd need to salvage the match.   Reading 3-1 Wrexham  He was awful. He knows it. This wouldn't have happened if you'd been paying attention to what Mujkic was trying to teach you.  That's the third coach to get sacked this month. The turnover among football managers is something that shows how poorly many of these clubs are run, they do themselves no favors in churning through so many managers who each bring different preferences and styles to their new job. Just look at Liverpool:  That's 7 head coaches in 8 seasons. Not saying you should just accept relegation if a different head coach could save you, but geez. At least give someone a full season to see how they work out. Liverpool fired the guys who got them to the Champion's League after 18 months and 13 months respectively. It's unrealistic, too. This is the same ownership group that gave Bobby Valentine a full season at the helm of the Red Sox, despite taking a championship contender and finishing dead last with the team's worst record in 47 years. They're going to give someone who finishes third in the Premier League more than four months into the next season.  Take a hike, you Monegasques! Bastable is not feeling it recently, he's ice cold over the last nine games, but I'm sure he's going to put it together again and he's going to be wearing our jersey when he does.  Also, it's not like Di Martino or Aarts has made a compelling case to replace him, the latter has one goal in four matches while the former has yet to get on the stats sheet.  Our other Australian, on the other hand, is putting the memory of his underwhelming Premier League debut behind him. He's got nine goals and four assists through fourteen games, and he nigh singlehandedly beat Manchester United.  It's hard to complain about a series of matches that's seen the team move up to fifth on the table while knocking off mighty Manchester United. But getting eliminated from the League Cup hurts, and our defeat at Reading was a bad loss where we looked like a League Two side for the first hour before salvaging some respectability. We're favorites in three of the next four games, so come the holidays we will hopefully still be very much in the conversation for the top four, and well positioned to get ourselves a place in at least the Europa League. Also, we won't be missing our two best players due to an insane exhibitionist in a metal hockey mask.  (NB: This table was taken before the Reading game, but our position and points total remains the same) habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 13:27 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 00:52
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Oh my god. As if this couldn't get better, you go all Princess Bride and Star Wars on us. 
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May 8, 2014 01:14
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Southampton is on a free fall towards the championship. Edit: And Cardiff replaying his real life counterparts.
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May 8, 2014 01:23
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Upsets like that Man U match are always great. I also appreciate how Bailey keeps featuring in the extra skits even though he barely plays in Premier League soccer. Wrexham's best iconic player 
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May 8, 2014 01:29
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I'm disappointed that I couldn't figure out how to work in a "you think that's a knife? this is a knife" reference. But yes, I am a child of the 80s. I voted in KidsVote 1988 for Dukakis during Inspector Gadget!
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 02:44 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 01:38
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The final showdown with Coach Elliot should have just been a shot for shot remake of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27qp189oiFo
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May 8, 2014 01:49
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Then I couldn't have used the Mad Max quotes! I'm way too happy with "Ayatollah of Screw-you-over."
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May 8, 2014 02:45
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