zaurg posted:Not starting a new thread. No point. I'm bad with money. A quick recap/update: I miss you, man. Come back and make a new thread! It can even just be a sort of diary with a spreadsheet now and then, that's all I need! Do you still have a pool table?
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# ? May 8, 2014 14:32 |
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# ? May 16, 2024 19:07 |
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Zaurg_Get_a_Divorce.gif
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# ? May 8, 2014 14:55 |
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I can't believe a breathing adult with kids wouldn't do more than "take a peek" at his finances every once in a while. Good god.
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# ? May 8, 2014 16:52 |
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Nocheez posted:God drat, Zaurg. I really was hoping that you would have gotten your wife on the same page and been able to turn your life around. You have my condolences, but it looks like a bankruptcy, divorce, or both are in your future.
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:19 |
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zaurg posted:- At one point credit card balances was zero and emergency fund was near 10k. Now credit cards are up to about 1k and emergency fund + savings is only at about 3k. At least I'm throwing cash at 401k. She's hiding a maxed out credit card from you.
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:20 |
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:I can't believe a breathing adult with kids wouldn't do more than "take a peek" at his finances every once in a while. Good god. Barring something happening where I'd need to pull from savings, I do the same. I have everything set to auto withdraw from my chequing account, and budget everything pretty well. I just check here and there to make sure that the account is where abouts it should be.
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:31 |
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Sudden Infant Def Syndrome posted:Barring something happening where I'd need to pull from savings, I do the same. You are describing a different situation than his, I think.
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:41 |
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tuyop posted:Do you still have a pool table? This is the most important question in this thread.
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# ? May 8, 2014 18:10 |
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Sudden Infant Def Syndrome posted:Barring something happening where I'd need to pull from savings, I do the same. Well yeah. But you have an idea. Especially since you budget.
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# ? May 8, 2014 20:23 |
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:I can't believe a breathing adult with kids wouldn't do more than "take a peek" at his finances every once in a while. Good god. Zaurg, you're fairly bad with money, but your wife is way worse. Put your foot down, man.
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# ? May 9, 2014 02:13 |
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What about that pool table though.
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# ? May 9, 2014 02:17 |
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Veskit posted:What about that pool table though. Is the pool table in the condo still? Are renters forced to just live with it?
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# ? May 9, 2014 13:56 |
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From Reddit's relationships subreddit: "Is it intrusive that I [F23] want some control over my SO of 3 year's [M26] finances? Is this considered a dealbreaker?"quote:My SO is terrible with money. This is as much as I can say. 11 days later: Update quote:First off, I'd like to thank everyone who gave me the perspective that this CAN be a huge dealbreaker, and I should no longer sit on the side with my legs crossed and just wait patiently for him to figure his stuff out, and let him keep me out. This relationship is over.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:05 |
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Not necessarily. She might still be young and naive enough to get him back on track, trust him again, and let him destroy both of their finances once they're good n' married. Good read, but she did leave out a lot of the juicy deets, like what he was spending over $1k a week of takehome pay on. Christ, if I made that much I wouldn't even know what to do with it all. edit: Read the second thread, half of the responses are lambasting her for going to her mom and having him kicked out. Reddit is a weird fuckin' place Not a Children fucked around with this message at 14:33 on May 9, 2014 |
# ? May 9, 2014 14:29 |
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To be fair it does sound like he was open to making changes since he let her look at all the statements, but yeah that ship has sailed now. She should've braced for the worst. If the dude makes 40kish after taxes, 7k of debt would be gone in no time with no bills to pay and an actual budget. Of course now he's been thrown out of the house so there goes the rent free living part. edit: don't get me wrong he's definitely an idiot with money and she was right to want to look at and help him with the finances, but if you want to see how a sausage gets made... Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 14:37 on May 9, 2014 |
# ? May 9, 2014 14:33 |
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:From Reddit's relationships subreddit: "Is it intrusive that I [F23] want some control over my SO of 3 year's [M26] finances? Is this considered a dealbreaker?" It's not over, but it's definitely doomed.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:34 |
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My money says he'll have another credit card outside of her control within a week or two.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:34 |
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1000 a week take home is far from extravagant and you can easily blow a large chunk of it just eating out and going out for the weekend. Nowhere near boats and hookers territory.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:48 |
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I love how this "don't snoop" craze has expanded to encompass just about everything in a relationship. When shady poo poo is obviously going on, it's time to loving snoop. The guy has been lying to her for years and deserved what he got, no matter how badly she might have reacted to the situation.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:49 |
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Zo posted:1000 a week take home is far from extravagant and you can easily blow a large chunk of it just eating out and going out for the weekend. Nowhere near boats and hookers territory. Of course you can, but you can also save a lot of it if you budget especially with no house bills. I'm not sure what you're saying or arguing with.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:51 |
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What's he doing with all that cash? That would be my question. He's not running up the bills on things she can see, it's all cash advances that just disappears.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:52 |
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4k without paying rent is pretty high, I definitely want to know what that was going to. It might not be hookers but it could be a modest cocaine habit or something.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:52 |
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Jeffrey posted:4k without paying rent is pretty high, I definitely want to know what that was going to. It might not be hookers but it could be a modest cocaine habit or something. Cash advance means it's something that you can't use a credit card for. So yeah I'm going with gambling, hookers or drugs.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:53 |
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It sounds like he's spending most of it on interest and fees.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:54 |
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Nail Rat posted:Of course you can, but you can also save a lot of it if you budget especially with no house bills. I'm not sure what you're saying or arguing with. Because some guy was making it out to be an unimaginable amount of money, which it's not.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:55 |
For some reason I think it's internet porn. And then payday loans for living expenses. gigawhite posted:I love how this "don't snoop" craze has expanded to encompass just about everything in a relationship. When shady poo poo is obviously going on, it's time to loving snoop. The guy has been lying to her for years and deserved what he got, no matter how badly she might have reacted to the situation. She reacted terribly. Like, way to be a child about your relationship and prove that guy totally right. But yeah, her level of contempt and excitement about this whole thing makes their coming breakup pretty obvious.
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# ? May 9, 2014 14:59 |
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tuyop posted:She reacted terribly. Like, way to be a child about your relationship and prove that guy totally right. I would have lost my mind too after spending months getting talked down to and berated and lied to while someone basically freeloaded off of my parents. She didn't handle this with the cold wisdom of Spock but I can't see her reaction as anything out of the ordinary, given his behavior.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:02 |
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If I wanted my partner kicked out of my home I would do it myself, certainly. Going to mom is pretty weird even if mom's reaction wasn't unreasonable. Also no way is it just fees on ~7k of debt or whatever it is - gotta be something else there. Gambling seems pretty likely, easier to hide that than drugs. Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 15:09 on May 9, 2014 |
# ? May 9, 2014 15:07 |
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On the whole for a 23F living with mom her understanding finances is way above average and the only thing I can criticize her for is giving him another shot. Don't do it, sister
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:12 |
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Zo posted:Because some guy was making it out to be an unimaginable amount of money, which it's not. On reddit? Because I don't see that here. All anyone said was it'd be easy to knock that debt out very fast with a budget - which is of course the big caveat.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:15 |
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Not a Children posted:edit: Read the second thread, half of the responses are lambasting her for going to her mom and having him kicked out. Reddit is a weird fuckin' place It's really amazing, you can almost hear the strain in their computer chairs as they furiously fidget, thinking up ways to excuse the guy for being a lying bum. Honestly, if I were that girl, as soon as I saw "Oh you have another 3000$ credit card maxxed out, huh," I'd be kicking him out. The fact that he also has payday loans and she's still with him: she's got the patience of a saint.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:17 |
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Guy a few cubes over is chuckling about people "who say things like 'When I win the lottery...' but then never actually buy a lottery ticket HAHAHAHA." Then he went on to describe when he plays. This is the same Disney guy I've mentioned in passing before. He's taken to posting quotes from Walt Disney on his cubical whiteboard. This part isn't really bad with money, but it creeps me right the gently caress out.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:18 |
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Nail Rat posted:On reddit? Because I don't see that here. All anyone said was it'd be easy to knock that debt out very fast with a budget - which is of course the big caveat. I think he was responding to my last post: Not a Children posted:Good read, but she did leave out a lot of the juicy deets, like what he was spending over $1k a week of takehome pay on. Christ, if I made that much I wouldn't even know what to do with it all. Of course I actually can come up with ways to spend $1k a week, but it'd take some serious mental gymnastics to actually follow through on it.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:24 |
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gigawhite posted:I love how this "don't snoop" craze has expanded to encompass just about everything in a relationship. When shady poo poo is obviously going on, it's time to loving snoop. The guy has been lying to her for years and deserved what he got, no matter how badly she might have reacted to the situation. Snooping implies the subject of observation doesn't know they're being observed, while the poster was making it very explicit what she wanted to see and that she was going to be looking at it. Her reaction was emotional to the point of harmful for their relationship, but he already did way more damage with persistent lying while getting a huge financial boon in low rent residence. If she's lucky she won't forgive him.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:27 |
He sounds mentally ill - maybe he's otherwise awesome and can get help?
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:29 |
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$1000/week takehome is probably in the $60-70k range. I bring home ~$1600 every two weeks with minimal withholdings and make ~$55k. I'm a bit annoyed she never said what the money was being spent on, I'm guessing gambling. If it was something material she should have been able to figure it out by now (clothes, gadgets, etc)
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:45 |
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dreesemonkey posted:$1000/week takehome is probably in the $60-70k range. I bring home ~$1600 every two weeks with minimal withholdings and make ~$55k. I bet she still doesn't know. Most of it was cash advances so no paper trail.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:47 |
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The only thing she said was $300 on a night out. That's a lot of rounds of shots or whatever. If you do that once or twice a week, there goes your $1k pretty easily.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:53 |
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It's probably gambling, alcohol/drugs, or hookers/stripclubs. She should really be asking where all the cash disappeared to, which is the main concern over how much credit card debt he is actually in.
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# ? May 9, 2014 15:59 |
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# ? May 16, 2024 19:07 |
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Dwight Eisenhower posted:Snooping implies the subject of observation doesn't know they're being observed, while the poster was making it very explicit what she wanted to see and that she was going to be looking at it. Not snooping means you trust and respect the person. She just found out he was completely undeserving of any of that. I don't know what I'd do if I found out I'd been dating someone who took out payday loans on a consistent basis while mooching off my mom.
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# ? May 9, 2014 16:44 |