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I would see my GYN about that as soon as it was convenient. Ovarian pain that is triggered by pressure in or on the pelvic region (which it sounds like this is, if it's pain that only happens during intercourse) is something you want to get checked out. Mittelschmerz isn't triggered by intercourse, though I guess it's possible that an ovary might be more tender around that time and thus more susceptible to the pressure-related pain. But the bottom line is that sex doesn't hurt more during ovulation unless something else is going on.
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May 14, 2014 19:12
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AlbieQuirky posted:I would see my GYN about that as soon as it was convenient. Ovarian pain that is triggered by pressure in or on the pelvic region (which it sounds like this is, if it's pain that only happens during intercourse) is something you want to get checked out. Yeah I've had mittelschmerz and it's usually just like a random pain that happens in the middle of the day or something, not pain triggered by sex itself.
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May 14, 2014 20:41
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sweetbeets posted:And this is exactly what I thought. I went to my doctor after we started having sex, because there were other issues, and his response was that he would do exams and the like until there was something serious enough that a referral was needed. Your doctor's an rear end in a top hat. Get rid of him.
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May 14, 2014 20:45
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sweetbeets posted:And this is exactly what I thought. I went to my doctor after we started having sex, because there were other issues, and his response was that he would do exams and the like until there was something serious enough that a referral was needed. Hi I am a sexually active Canadian female. My family doctor does my annual exam and Pap smear, this is completely normal and appropriate. A woman does not need a gyno for a standard exam. I agree with everyone that your doctor is an idiot though.
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May 14, 2014 20:49
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Thanks guys and girls. Appointment made. No time like the present, as they say.
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May 15, 2014 02:51
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So uh... Honest question, anyone have tips for lasting longer? We've recently stopped using condoms (IUD + both tested clean) and it seems to have killed my stamina. We only see each other a few times a week, and while I'm usually good to go again in 20 minutes or so (and have no problem with stamina then) it's frustrating and embarrassing to be done in under a minute. Lots of foreplay involved, and just because I finish doesn't mean things stop for her which helps with the embarrassment bit as she's still getting off. Now that I think about it maybe I should just be masturbating more? Frequency has certainly dropped off as sex is so much better., and now that I think about it that probably played a part. Still, any tips would be appreciated.
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May 15, 2014 20:00
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If you have these get-togethers planned in advance, maybe you could just masturbate a little while before you see her? That might make round 1 more like round 2 stamina-wise.
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May 15, 2014 20:07
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TrueChaos posted:So uh... Honest question, anyone have tips for lasting longer? We've recently stopped using condoms (IUD + both tested clean) and it seems to have killed my stamina. We only see each other a few times a week, and while I'm usually good to go again in 20 minutes or so (and have no problem with stamina then) it's frustrating and embarrassing to be done in under a minute. Lots of foreplay involved, and just because I finish doesn't mean things stop for her which helps with the embarrassment bit as she's still getting off. Think about baseball. DO NOT THINK ABOUT MIKE TROUT.
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May 15, 2014 21:02
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TrueChaos posted:So uh... Honest question, anyone have tips for lasting longer? We've recently stopped using condoms (IUD + both tested clean) and it seems to have killed my stamina. We only see each other a few times a week, and while I'm usually good to go again in 20 minutes or so (and have no problem with stamina then) it's frustrating and embarrassing to be done in under a minute. Lots of foreplay involved, and just because I finish doesn't mean things stop for her which helps with the embarrassment bit as she's still getting off. Practice edging and do kegels. That'll give you a good sense of when you're getting close, and you can slow down or switch positions before you pop.
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May 15, 2014 22:22
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TrueChaos posted:So uh... Honest question, anyone have tips for lasting longer? We've recently stopped using condoms (IUD + both tested clean) and it seems to have killed my stamina. We only see each other a few times a week, and while I'm usually good to go again in 20 minutes or so (and have no problem with stamina then) it's frustrating and embarrassing to be done in under a minute. Lots of foreplay involved, and just because I finish doesn't mean things stop for her which helps with the embarrassment bit as she's still getting off. If you are good to go again in 20 mins and keep looking after her after your first orgasm then I don't see the problem or need for embarrassment.  I have been married a long time and boy do I miss the days when hubby was good for two rounds in short order. My favorite was to give him oral which would get me really horny. The focus would then be on me until he was ready again. Now I am lucky if there's even one round. Sigh. So I would say communicate your feelings to your partner and enjoy being able to cum twice in a session while you still can....(not to say that will definitely go away but there's a very good chance it will)
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May 15, 2014 22:41
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hoobajoo posted:Practice edging and do kegels. That'll give you a good sense of when you're getting close, and you can slow down or switch positions before you pop. This is the first time I've heard of someone using kegels in the context of a guy. I mean, I guess we still have that muscle and can sit there flexing it, but it's still weird to think about.
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May 16, 2014 04:34
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It's not weird at all. They're actually suggested as a way to strengthen your pelvic muscles for slightly better erections, and to develop some conscious control to resist premature ejaculation or incontinence.
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May 16, 2014 06:48
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So here's a new problem. Up until recently my condom choice were Trojan Ultra Thins. Then a few days ago we get a new box, first thing we notice is a different packaging. Try it on and I notice it feels a little bit differently but think nothing of it. Problem is the near instant I put one of those on I get deflation. We've used 5 so far and only one has...worked. Anyone else had this kind of experience or maybe give me an alternative? OP said to mention location so right now I am in Virginia.
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May 16, 2014 20:07
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Did you buy them at a different store than usual? Its kind of a long shot but off the top of my head Walmart is known for getting substandard product as a result of dictating prices to their vendors/suppliers, who make up the difference by either supplying Walmart with specifically (and cheaply) made equivalents, or in the case of more expensive stuff, items that would normally end up in dent/scratch or b-stock bins (condoms ending up in the former category, obviously.)
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May 16, 2014 20:12
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Geoj posted:Did you buy them at a different store than usual? I normally got the boxes from Walgreens and those would turn out ok. This box I got from a Harris Teeter, a grocery chain we have in the area so I doubt that's it. Thanks though
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May 16, 2014 21:00
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Thanks for the suggestions all, will use them for tonight 
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May 16, 2014 21:25
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Gravel Gravy posted:So here's a new problem. Up until recently my condom choice were Trojan Ultra Thins. Then a few days ago we get a new box, first thing we notice is a different packaging. Try it on and I notice it feels a little bit differently but think nothing of it. Problem is the near instant I put one of those on I get deflation. We've used 5 so far and only one has...worked. Anyone else had this kind of experience or maybe give me an alternative? I noticed a little while ago that the new Trojan styles were pretty horrible, maybe they're changing all all their condoms now? Either way, I'd use Lifestyle Ultra Sensitive. About the same price and style as Trojan ultra thins and reliable (knock on wood...).
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May 17, 2014 01:01
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1. The first time (of the evening) the I have sex I usually last about 10 minutes. It seems like I need lots of time between rounds, about 30-40 minutes, and it's difficult to keep the mood going for that long without anything penisy happening. Then round two takes forever, 20, 30, 40 minutes if I end up finishing at all. Any advice for ways to shorten the recharge time and cum before I get exhausted during the second round? 2. The girlfriend is a bit on the heavier side. Not fat by any means, but self conscious about her weight. As a result of this she is uncomfortable being on top physically. We've done it before, and it isn't physically uncomfortable for me, but she is still reluctant. Best way to break through that mental block? 3. Apologies if this delves too far into kink, but here goes: The girlfriend and I are both prefer to be the submissive when doing anything bdsm-ish (light/medium bondage, or even just being the one taking initiative). I'm willing to switch when she wants to be hancuffed or blindfolded and I have fun doing it. She says she's willing to be the top of she is in the mood. This is all ok and fun. We both have issues going forward from there. On her side, while she says she would be the dominant one if she's in the mood, she has never been in the mood in almost four years of dating. On my end, when I'm being the dominant one, all I am really comfortable doing is light/medium bondage and sometimes a bit of spanking/slapping/generally being a bit rough and I know she wants me to do more. While I'm ok going further in theory, I don't really know what to do, and I don't really have the desire to go further. Our 'vanilla' sex life is wonderful, but we're both weird with doing what the other person wants when we're in the mood for spicing it up a little. Is there any way for either/both of us to be more comfortable with being the one in charge?
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May 17, 2014 06:29
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Is there a consensus best clit vibrator? I looked on babeland and amazon, but I can't decide.
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May 17, 2014 20:30
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Go for the WeVibe Tango or Touch, depending on whether you want a bullet or something more ergonomic (or price). Same motor and the current version of the Touch's silicone doesn't damp vibrations as much as the old one did, I understand. Pink Cherry has a 25% off anything coupon live right now so I have linked for your convenience, it should just show up on the top of the page. I get most of my stuff off their Canadian site, they've usually got the best prices for everything. (Epiphora, my usual go-to for sex toy reviews prefers a Mona 2 even for clit stuff but I don't care for it that way, it's a great vibe but I strictly prefer it inserted, myself) neongrey fucked around with this message at 21:19 on May 17, 2014 |
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May 17, 2014 21:17
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So I've been casually seeing someone for the last couple of weeks. First time I've ever come this far with a girl. Our third date was at hers last night. Thing is, I had a lot of trouble keeping it up, which I'm sure wasn't helped by the three beers I'd had, but even so, I'd had three beers on our second date and I couldn't keep it down then, although we only made out. She was cool about it as she has her own sexual issues and we were both nervous, so in the end I focused on pleasuring her which is good experience as far as I'm concerned. But even in the morning I still had trouble. I don't think I was nervous about being naked. In fact, I felt I became quite comfortable with it, as well as touching her and being touched, much to my surprise. What we did was a lot of fun, really (and that ought to be the most important thing after all). But as much as she says she finds my awkwardness and nervousness 'endearing', I don't think it'd be a good look if I had trouble next time. I admit I've become a little too reliant on porn to get me off, and even though it's not something I look at every time, cutting it out seems fairly obvious. Are there any other remedies on how to manage this problem? Oh, I'm a 23 year old male for reference. Mostly physically healthy, but I've always suffered from social anxiety, though I've sought treatment over the years to help manage it and it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.
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May 18, 2014 01:41
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Octy posted:So I've been casually seeing someone for the last couple of weeks. First time I've ever come this far with a girl. Oh, I remember you from that EN thread we both posted in! (Whatever happened to it, anyway?) As far as your problem, cutting out porn seems like the first step. I think the most important thing is not to obsess, since it creates more anxiety.
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May 18, 2014 02:10
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Octy posted:So I've been casually seeing someone for the last couple of weeks. First time I've ever come this far with a girl. Our third date was at hers last night. Thing is, I had a lot of trouble keeping it up, which I'm sure wasn't helped by the three beers I'd had, but even so, I'd had three beers on our second date and I couldn't keep it down then, although we only made out. She was cool about it as she has her own sexual issues and we were both nervous, so in the end I focused on pleasuring her which is good experience as far as I'm concerned. But even in the morning I still had trouble. I don't think I was nervous about being naked. In fact, I felt I became quite comfortable with it, as well as touching her and being touched, much to my surprise. What we did was a lot of fun, really (and that ought to be the most important thing after all). But as much as she says she finds my awkwardness and nervousness 'endearing', I don't think it'd be a good look if I had trouble next time. I admit I've become a little too reliant on porn to get me off, and even though it's not something I look at every time, cutting it out seems fairly obvious. Are there any other remedies on how to manage this problem? Relax. Chillax. Chill the gently caress out. Take the pressure off, it's not going to help you perform. This lady has said she's cool with you being nervous, so she's clearly patient and Not An Arsehole. Take it slow. Don't worry about whether you're going to be able to perform or not. Just think about having fun sexy times. If you're hard at the time, you're hard. If you're not, you're not, and you can just use fingers/tongue/whatever else. Really, there's nothing else you can do, and nothing kills boners (and ladyboners, for that matter) like stressing out about it. Allow yourself the possibility that you might not be able to perform, let it go, and chances are you'll be fine.
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May 18, 2014 02:47
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Yeah, I thought that was going to be the advice. I'm sure next time will be easier and I'll be more relaxed and comfortable. And I'll definitely skip the beers. It's just nice to have that reassurance that it's not unusual. I actually should have read the whole thread first as there's a guy a couple pages back who has the same problem it appears. Pinball posted:Oh, I remember you from that EN thread we both posted in! (Whatever happened to it, anyway?) It got gassed. Shame, as I was enjoying all those terrible ZergFluid posts. Yeah, I'm hoping that works. It's embarrassing that my imagination barely gets me going, and it's something I keep reminding myself that I need to work on, but porn is just a much easier option being a few clicks away. I have terrible willpower, I know. I guess being sexually active on a possibly regular basis is the best incentive I've ever had, though. Octy fucked around with this message at 04:51 on May 18, 2014 |
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May 18, 2014 02:51
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neongrey posted:Go for the WeVibe Tango or Touch, depending on whether you want a bullet or something more ergonomic (or price). Same motor and the current version of the Touch's silicone doesn't damp vibrations as much as the old one did, I understand. Thanks I appreciate it. We-vibe looks pretty nice. Octy, you need to cut out the porn man. Full stop, take a month off of porn and see how you feel. I just went through this, and its been very rewarding. My girlfriend loves it, at least.
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May 18, 2014 16:55
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Octy posted:Yeah, I thought that was going to be the advice. I'm sure next time will be easier and I'll be more relaxed and comfortable. And I'll definitely skip the beers. It's just nice to have that reassurance that it's not unusual. I actually should have read the whole thread first as there's a guy a couple pages back who has the same problem it appears. It didn't get gassed (or maybe it did and got ungassed). It just got moved to GBS for some reason, so I wouldn't expect much serious advice from it now. Also I don't think your situation is too unusual really. I've mentioned it in the thread before, but even people who have had sex before can have performance problems when they're with a new person, because it can always be a little awkward at first. And then sometimes it just happens for no apparent reason. I think most people understand that it's just one of those things that can happen and roll with it (especially since it sounds like you're still being considerate of her needs in the meantime).
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May 18, 2014 22:17
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Yeah, I'm really happy she's understanding about it. We're meeting up again later this week and I'm sure I can cut out the porn for at least that time. I didn't even used to watch porn that much until the last couple of years.
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May 18, 2014 23:30
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May Contain Nuts posted:1. The first time (of the evening) the I have sex I usually last about 10 minutes. It seems like I need lots of time between rounds, about 30-40 minutes, and it's difficult to keep the mood going for that long without anything penisy happening. Then round two takes forever, 20, 30, 40 minutes if I end up finishing at all. Any advice for ways to shorten the recharge time and cum before I get exhausted during the second round? 1) How old are you? (zero snarkiness here) If you are older than your early 20's, going two rounds in quick succession like that can be difficult, no matter what. How about just don't? Masturbate earlier in the day if you need to for stamina, and just have a good, long sex with your girlfriend. 2) She needs confidence. Tell her how much you love her and her body. Tell her how hot it makes you when she's on top. She may feel better about being "on display", as it were, if she were wearing a cami, or something that makes her feel sexy. Self esteem leads to confidence. (Personal anecdote: I'm not overweight, but I have an unattractive "mommy" stomach that I dislike. Stretch marks, loose skin, etc. My husband does not care in the least, but I feel much better about myself in certain circumstances/positions if I'm wearing a cami or something, and confidence leads to better sex in all cases.) 3) I don't have much in the way of helpful advice here. If you know she wants you to do more, try asking her expressly what she has in mind. It could get worked into whatever you're doing even (she could top from the bottom, so to speak). "Oh, now that you have me all tied up, it would be so hot/dirty/etc if you..." Then, you may become inspired once you have more of an idea. Or just throw something out there, when she's prone. "What would happen if I...to you?" Or, delve into some literature or videos together for ideas. If you are both truly, naturally submissive, I'm not sure how you break out of that. But, if it's more of a case of both of you being somewhat inexperienced and just more comfortable with the other person taking the lead as a result, then I would really suggest exploring some inspiring media together. (Sorry, I don't really have any good suggestions for that; this isn't something I/we personally have an issue with.) Again, more confidence in bed always leads to better sex. Also, all the same goes for you if you want her to take charge. If it doesn't come naturally to her, she will really need some coaching. Also, if you really, truly, don't desire to go any further than you are, then you two need to have an honest conversation about the wills and won'ts of your sex lives. Honestly. Exploring and trying new things are awesome, and I definitely subscribe to the "don't knock it till you try it" school of thought, but everyone has limits in different places.
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May 19, 2014 02:09
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Last page I made a couple of questions regarding not cumming and got good answers among them this one:hoobajoo posted:As always, the answer is butt stuff. I being a regular male dismissed it, but since, my lady friend has expressed her interest in trying pegging, and I find myself liking her, feeling adventurous and secure enough to give it a go. So once again I resort to wiser men and women than me to know, how to progress from zero anal play into pegging as gently as possible?.
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May 19, 2014 16:08
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zocio posted:Last page I made a couple of questions regarding not cumming and got good answers among them this one: I'd say first and foremost, try it by yourself first. If you know what it's going to feel like and what will make it enjoyable beforehand, it'll be easier and you can give better feedback. As for the act itself, you work up from smaller objects (a finger or small vibe) and once you are relaxed, you increase size until you're where you need to be. Throughout this, make sure to go slow, use lots of lube, and communicate with your lady. Really, as long as you do those three things, it's hard to go wrong.
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May 19, 2014 16:53
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zocio posted:Last page I made a couple of questions regarding not cumming and got good answers among them this one: 1. Err on the side of too much lube. 2. Work your way up from finger-small to larger using fingers, vibes, plugs, dildos, etc. 3. Keep it clean, condoms make toy clean-up a breeze and a good-quality anal douche keeps mess to a minimum. 4. Train your brain to associate anal play with sexytimes, integrate it into your general erotic activities. I really cannot stress it enough that isolating it from your normal sex regime will be a mistake. This is something you are doing together and it needs to be integrated; include plugs and toys when you masturbate, when she is giving you oral sex include her fingers or toys in the mix, do the same in reverse (actually a kind of hot scenario involves those remote control anal vibrators, which she can use to goad you as you are performing oral sex on her), you get the picture. Training your brain is a real thing in erotic exploration, and its important to focus on your own acclimatization.
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May 19, 2014 17:36
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zocio posted:So once again I resort to wiser men and women than me to know, how to progress from zero anal play into pegging as gently as possible?. The main thing to remember is that there is no rush. Start small, use lots of lube, and relax into it. Don't feel like you need to go from 0 to hardcore buttfucking in a day - you'll both have much more fun if you explore the area in other ways first.
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May 19, 2014 17:48
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Re: Butt Chat I've been doing butt stuff solo for a few years and only really looked at it as a form of penetration. The other day I decided to work my prostate a bit and not only did it feel great, but I was delighted by the amount of semen it produced. It didn't make me orgasm, but it was a very enlightening experience. I abstained from masturbating for three days and tried to replicate the experience again but came up with nothing. Is there a science to "milking" the prostate like this? I'm 30 years old with a substantial sex drive and no health complications, so I don't foresee anything inhibiting my ability to routinely perform this maneuver on myself. Anyone else been down this road?
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May 19, 2014 18:51
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So I realize this is pretty much the best problem I could possibly have, but I've been seeing someone lately and, well, holy poo poo the sexts they send me are graphic.  I really don't want to say this is a bad thing, because it's awesome, but I'm not even a little bit used to this and it makes me feel like I'm not really up to par (because frankly I'm not super imaginative in this department). They insist that I'm fine, but they're also head over loving heels for me so I feel like it might be a little more of an issue than they're letting on. Is there any way to get better at this other than practicing? (I'm not trying to be vague or anything by using gender-neutral pronouns, they're just DFAB agendered and prefer them/they/their.)
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May 20, 2014 03:41
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SALT CURES HAM posted:So I realize this is pretty much the best problem I could possibly have, but I've been seeing someone lately and, well, holy poo poo the sexts they send me are graphic. Either send xir pictures of xour dick or don't you nerd.
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May 20, 2014 04:51
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Anyone have any experience with opening up relationships/becoming "monogamish"? My girlfriend and I have been together for close to a year and a half, are currently living together and having issues with different libidos. Hers is a lot lower than mine, and while right now it's not a huge issue, it is starting to cause some conflict. When we talked about it, she asked how I'd feel about opening the relationship up, specifically me potentially finding a gently caress buddy or what have you. I said I wasn't sure how I feel about it, and she said she isn't totally sure how she would, but I'm thinking more that it might be a good idea if done right. Anybody have any tips, experience, advice, etc in this area?
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May 20, 2014 06:33
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You could read Opening Up together, or you could just save both of you a few months and break up now.
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May 20, 2014 06:39
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i like nice words
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Man, you gotta have the right personalities to pull it off. Jealousy can easily become an issue (surprise!). It's kind of hard to describe what makes it work, it just takes the right personalities.
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May 20, 2014 06:42
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Anyone have any experience with opening up relationships/becoming "monogamish"? My girlfriend and I have been together for close to a year and a half, are currently living together and having issues with different libidos. Hers is a lot lower than mine, and while right now it's not a huge issue, it is starting to cause some conflict. When we talked about it, she asked how I'd feel about opening the relationship up, specifically me potentially finding a gently caress buddy or what have you. I said I wasn't sure how I feel about it, and she said she isn't totally sure how she would, but I'm thinking more that it might be a good idea if done right. Anybody have any tips, experience, advice, etc in this area? I don't have any direct experience, but having seen it before, make sure you are always honestly communicating. However much you talk about the relationship, double it, because that's the only way to make sure you're both happy about it, or how to fix it if one person is unhappy. Also make sure to still set aside a good amount of time to be intimate together, if not always in a sexual way. Basically, if you both work really hard and are honest it could be pretty cool, but takes a lot of honesty and introspection to pull it off.
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May 20, 2014 07:40
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zocio posted:So once again I resort to wiser men and women than me to know, how to progress from zero anal play into pegging as gently as possible?. My boyfriend and I went from zero to the whole thing in a weekend. We didn't really do anything to "warm up" and we didn't have problems. We just lubed up and went at it. The only problem we really encountered was that he just couldn't get in half the time. The first two times we tried it I just couldn't relax enough out of nerves and he couldn't get in at all because I'd tighten up. Number one rule I'd say for both parties is relax and just be calm about it. That was my biggest problem when starting out, just relaxing enough and getting out of my own head. It can hurt when you're tense, but it can be fairly pleasurable when you're relaxed. For the one doing the penetrating be VERY receptive to your partner's instructions and what they say. Do not go quickly in the beginning and slowly figure out what they like and what's good and bad. Also, in the beginning when my partner and I were experimenting, we tried it with fingers and they hurt more than a penis, in my opinion, even though my partner's penis is obviously bigger than his fingers. So if the one receiving isn't really liking the fingers, the alternative is not necessarily going to be as bad. I never actually liked anal until it was a dick doing the penetrating rather than fingers. I think it's because fingers are harder in a way because of the knuckles, and the nail. Make sure to have your nails clipped if you're using fingers. One last thing, I can say that the feeling for the recipient is nothing like vanilla sex. It's more like a weird pressure, and that pressure can either be good or bad. Just don't expect anything like vanilla. GlassLotus fucked around with this message at 07:56 on May 20, 2014 |
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May 20, 2014 07:50
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