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EugeneJ posted:Has anyone successfully got married and kept their finances completely separate? Maybe it's because I'm a messed up Jew, but to me not mingling finances upon marriage is pretty much the same thing as deciding to be in an open marriage /poly/whatever the kids these days are calling it.
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May 16, 2014 13:51
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EugeneJ posted:Has anyone successfully got married and kept their finances completely separate? A friend of mine has a marriage like this. It pretty much breaks down to him spending all of his money on the bills and house, and she runs around on expensive vacations. I don't know how he hasn't snapped yet.
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May 16, 2014 13:52
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Bloody Queef posted:Maybe it's because I'm a messed up Jew, but to me not mingling finances upon marriage is pretty much the same thing as deciding to be in an open marriage /poly/whatever the kids these days are calling it. I don't understand, one is terrible and the other is loving awesome...
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May 16, 2014 13:54
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Nocheez posted:A friend of mine has a marriage like this. It pretty much breaks down to him spending all of his money on the bills and house, and she runs around on expensive vacations. That's... Not a marriage, that's some weird cohabitation arrangement. tuyop posted:I don't understand, one is terrible and the other is loving awesome... Please don't go poly, tuyop. We don't want to lose you to E/N.
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May 16, 2014 13:56
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FrozenVent posted:That's... Not a marriage, that's some weird cohabitation arrangement.
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May 16, 2014 14:01
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FrozenVent posted:That's... Not a marriage, that's some weird cohabitation arrangement. I've been in only open relationships for ten years now and even as a teenager nothing E/N ever happened. Like, I haven't had a monogamous relationship since I was fifteen and decided that they suck. My wife and I still have combined finances because we're committed to each other and have a strong sense of love and trust. Call it what you will but it's exactly what we want. For what it's worth, I agree with you, I still don't really like saying wife, we don't have rings, and I'm kind of upset that she took my name. I'd much prefer to say "my weird lifelong cohabitant and love partner" but that's all snowflakey and annoying. This is looking like it could be a huge derail. Sorry!
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May 16, 2014 14:08
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So in a poly household, how do they handle finances? Can you get a joint account for three people?
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May 16, 2014 14:11
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My partner and I aren't married, but we've been living together for 6+ years and our finances are completely separate. We split all our shared expenses and keep track of them in our respective accounting systems, so that although I pay for most of the bills, and she buys most of the groceries, we balance out our accounts with each other every few weeks. We have no plans to get married any time soon, and even if we somehow did, I don't think we'd ever combine our finances. We're both responsible adults that trust each other, we're both working, budgeting and saving, etc., so I don't really see why we would want that.  I guess it might make more sense when there's kids or when only one person is working, but yeah, none of that currently applies.
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May 16, 2014 14:17
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Our finances are all co-mingled and I sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my wife and I separated our finances more. On the surface it sounds tempting, we could tally all the bills up and split them 60/40 or whatever since I make more than she does, then everything after that is "spend how you want it". I have a feeling it would require a lot of work to account for all the things we spend money on, like home rennovations, or furniture or whatever the next expensive purchase we have planned, etc. The way we do it works fine and I don't really buy all that much stuff, so it's no biggy.
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May 16, 2014 14:19
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londonmoose posted:we balance out our accounts with each other every few weeks There you go. The mechanics of it - whether everything goes into a joint account, A pays X bill and B pays Y bill, whatever, doesn't matter. It's the communication and openness that's important.
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May 16, 2014 14:24
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Oh absolutely. Communication is key. Just the idea of pooling everything into one account, or having one person delegate the entire household finances to the other just doesn't seem like anything either of us would do. Ultimately, it is whatever system works best, and I know that most couples do pool all their finances together. I guess it also helps that we both earn very similar amounts, have very little debt, etc. Just wanted to add my perspective to the conversation 
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May 16, 2014 14:32
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EugeneJ posted:Has anyone successfully got married and kept their finances completely separate? Lived together over 7 years, getting married this summer, keeping finances separate other than the house which we'll both pay half on. I don't know how relevant the "no snooping" thing is, we are pretty open about what we have and talk about investment plans and such. We also still make plans as a couple like planning to both make extra payments to pay off the mortgage 20 years early. The main thing is the reduction in stress for me that when she buys poo poo I think is a waste it is her money not "our money" so it doesn't bother me as much. It also is nice for her in that while my lifetime earnings will likely be higher, she got started on retirement savings earlier so there is no concern with me walking away with half of it if things fall apart at some point. I think it also works out well because we earn similar amounts. If someone makes the sacrifice to be a stay at home parent or 1 person makes 5 times the salary of the other then keeping it separate is to the clear detriment of one party. We are both adults, we've both handled our finances for years, I'm not sure why we would want to entangle them to force discussions on how to spend "our" money that we don't need to have. After 7.5 years together we haven't had a single major fight and I'm happy to avoid the risk of a big fight over money that might come from combining accounts.
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May 16, 2014 14:32
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Folly posted:I'm totally eating out today. Maybe twice. Back when I worked for a big consulting firm, the firm would order takeout for us on production deployment nights. I wouldn't exactly give the firm a glowing review on employee satisfaction as a whole, but that was a nice touch at least. The first time I had planned ahead and brought dinner like a good BFCer does, but it was all for not!
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May 16, 2014 14:34
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I love having joint finances. She finds reasons to scold/praise my spending and I find reasons to scold/praise her spending and I don't think we've ever been happier.FrozenVent posted:Sever. The truth is I'm the over-spender (among frugal people) in the relationship. I suggested to just get whatever was free next time and to try and be happy with that. At least the Sandwiches are big enough to split over two days. edit: Anyone feel like a dick for being the guy that takes a donut in the morning but never brings any in? I tried to make up for this by bringing some of Aldi's premium coffee for everyone but it went ignored in favor of the same blend in the starbucks bag. I think next time I'll bring in some of Aldi's creamer instead or the coffee filters. Sephiroth_IRA fucked around with this message at 14:59 on May 16, 2014 |
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May 16, 2014 14:56
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Rick Rickshaw posted:Back when I worked for a big consulting firm, the firm would order takeout for us on production deployment nights. Oh, it's just me. Because I can do my part solo, I get the overnight shift. You know, because it impacts fewer people that way. And that's fine. I only start bitching about it when they make me work on non-prod systems during off hours. Because, again, there's like 5 or 6 developers and only 1 of me. So it's better for the business. One time they had me do an test system upgrade over the weekend, but I screwed up the user tables so nobody could log in. They didn't call me about it until Thursday. So right, now you know why I post in the early retirement thread. But you're probably right. I'm sure I can expense the meal. I'll save the receipt. Edit: Oh! I just learned that I'm expected to be handy in case any problems come up during testing. So I won't go home until tomorrow night at 10pm or so. At least they got me a hotel room to sleep during the day tomorrow. Folly fucked around with this message at 15:50 on May 16, 2014 |
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May 16, 2014 15:35
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EugeneJ posted:Has anyone successfully got married and kept their finances completely separate? The no snooping part is weird. What do you have to hide from your wife? My wife doesn't know my bank and investment passwords, but I wouldn't care if she wanted to look at them. Sounds like there are more issues going on.
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May 16, 2014 16:17
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I feel like budgeting wouldn't work at all if there's not at least something like a mint account with both spouses' accounts in it.
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May 16, 2014 16:33
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Sephiroth_IRA posted:Anyone feel like a dick for being the guy that takes a donut in the morning but never brings any in? I tried to make up for this by bringing some of Aldi's premium coffee for everyone but it went ignored in favor of the same blend in the starbucks bag. I think next time I'll bring in some of Aldi's creamer instead or the coffee filters. Just bring donuts once in a blue moon, it's what, $10 tax free for 24 donuts? Budget it as a one-time fee for partaking in donuts over a period of time. Because yes, if your co-workers are bringing stuff in and you're not, eating the donuts make you an rear end in a top hat. (Unless it's the boss doing it, or the donuts are being paid for by the employer.) (Donuts are serious loving business  )
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May 16, 2014 16:38
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When I worked in an office, people would take turns bringing in donuts. If you didn't want to bring in donuts, you weren't supposed to partake.
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May 16, 2014 17:07
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Juanito posted:When I worked in an office, people would take turns bringing in donuts. If you didn't want to bring in donuts, you weren't supposed to partake. We had a coffee club at work, which 30 or so employees paid something like $20/mo to cover the cost of coffee and supplies. If you weren't a member, it was supposed to be $.50/cup. There was this one lady at work who was apparently well off (inheritance over $1M, no kids, drives older cars) who would have coffee every day and not pay for it or be a coffee club member. Even when she was called out for it she said "Nope, not paying for coffee". Now there is no more coffee club. /r/frugaljerk founding member, no doubt
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May 16, 2014 18:17
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GAYS FOR DAYS posted:So a season pass to Noah's Ark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah%27s_Ark_Water_Park) is only $40 right now. Daily admission is usually $32. I'm seriously considering getting a season pass. The park is about an hours drive away, but aside from the cost of fuel, I could be set for the whole summer as far as entertainment goes. I'm just worried I'll pull the trigger, but no one will ever feel like going. I'm going to try to convince some coworkers to buy a pass too. If you go twice you've made your money back. Do you usually go more than once in a summer?
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May 16, 2014 18:51
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EugeneJ posted:Has anyone successfully got married and kept their finances completely separate? I do this with my wife, and I posted about it in a different BFC thread, so I'll just quote it. quote:I've been in a relationship with my wife for 8 years, married for three and a half of them, and I'll be 30 next week, and we really prefer keeping our finances separate. We've since started working toward being much more frugal, but we still keep everything separate and we still splurge occasionally. I'll answer any questions you might have about how it's worked out for us if you're curious.
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May 16, 2014 21:47
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Glad it's working out for you. Do you guys hide purchases from each other? My wife buys ridiculously expensive shoes too, but I think it's important that I know about them.
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May 16, 2014 23:29
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All our money goes into 1 account. I make about double my wife though. We have a pretty good handle on the budget and we just pay everything as required with or money. We each get $150 a month to do whatever with. I saved up and went to Vegas, my wife just dropped $600 on clothes and makeup (we do have clothes and personal supplies in the budget but not exactly for what she wanted). Does it stuck sometimes to think a ton of 'my money' goes to paying off my wife's two degrees? Kind of does but she wouldn't be close to being out of debt and could have no fun if we didn't consider everything one. Our future will be better I think with our approach. Nothing like marrying into $100k of student loans wooooooo.
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May 16, 2014 23:55
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My wife had to go to Home Depot for some unplanned home improvement stuff and had to spend $75. She called me and told me how she felt sick to her stomach and now finally understands how I feel everytime I spend money. I'm so proud. 
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May 16, 2014 23:59
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I figure my debt ate like 20% of my wife's income and 100% of my income for a year. So 80% of her salary was basically what we were living on. I showed her a spreadsheet to this effect when we were planning our finances and told her that this was unacceptable because my debt was pretty much 70% bad decisions and 30% student loans. She said, "If you hadn't traveled and done all that stuff, you wouldn't be the same person. I love you, so I have absolutely no problem paying for the things that made you you." There's been absolutely no resentment, she just stuck to that sentiment the whole time. I have a good wife.
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May 17, 2014 07:28
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I want a Smart TV. I've decided I can buy myself one on Cyber Thursday/Black Friday IF I save up all my cash back rewards on my credit cards to use ($115 so far  ) and meet my $5k emergency fund goal before then.That also gives me a lot of time to change my mind.
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May 17, 2014 17:43
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spinst posted:I want a Smart TV. Sure, sounds like a great plan. But why a smart tv instead of just a regular used tv and a chromecast or even HDMI cable to an old laptop/makeshift HTPC operating as a media server? I like the chromecast a lot because you can operate a ton of your media needs with an old iPod touch if you want.
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May 17, 2014 18:34
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Smart TV's are awesome, that is why. Amazon, Netflix, my computer, all wireless and ready to rock. Got a 46" Samsung led tv 2 years ago on black Friday for $700. Smoking deal.
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May 17, 2014 18:44
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tuyop posted:Sure, sounds like a great plan. I actually have a Chromecast, but they don't have apps for two of the three services I use (WWE Network and Amazon Prime). I can cast the tab, but it doesn't work as well. I know that's not the greatest reason, since I could just buy a Roku, but my TV is 7 years old, and I want a new one, dang it!
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May 17, 2014 19:07
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Smart tv's have crap ui's that are rarely (if ever) updated and are slow. I'm sure at some point tv's will have Chromecast functionality built-in, but at the moment they're still pretty half-baked. I have my laptop hooked up via an HDMI cable to my flat-screen, and I use a wireless keyboard to navigate. It's awesome. EugeneJ fucked around with this message at 19:50 on May 17, 2014 |
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May 17, 2014 19:48
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spinst posted:WWE Network Seriously? EugeneJ posted:Smart tv's have crap ui's that are rarely (if ever) updated and are slow. Yeah that's what I was thinking, the ones I've tried are so janky that they're basically unusable and almost a thing I would pay not to have to deal with. If airplay was a universal, OS-level feature in OSX or iOS like bluetooth out and I could stream any app over an AppleTV, that would sell me on both a Macbook AND an AppleTV because it would be absolutely perfect for what I want. But oh well, HTPC-ish laptop it is.
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May 17, 2014 20:16
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tuyop posted:Seriously? Yes.  I don't have cable, and the Amazon Prime was free, so… if I want to spend  on the goofy and glorious world of Pro Wrestlin, I will.
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May 17, 2014 20:24
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tuyop posted:Seriously? But it is a universal feature on macbooks??? http://www.imore.com/how-view-content-your-mac-your-apple-tv-airplay-mirroring
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May 18, 2014 01:44
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Bisty Q. posted:But it is a universal feature on macbooks??? And the new air just came out. Oh dear. So like, if I turn on VLC on a MacBook, there's a little button in the corner to stream it to an AppleTV a la chromecast, or is it just the full screen? If it's the screen, what's the resolution like? If I have an AppleTV and my music on a PC in the office with home sharing on iTunes, can I have a sound bar plugged into the TV and play music out of it from my computer, controlled by an iPhone?
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May 18, 2014 02:24
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If I try to watch videos from my Air on my TV, with Apple TV, it always looks super choppy. Good for showing photos I suppose.
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May 18, 2014 15:06
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last laugh posted:If I try to watch videos from my Air on my TV, with Apple TV, it always looks super choppy. Good for showing photos I suppose. If you airplay directly from quicktime or itunes, you'll stream video without any choppiness. If you airplay by mirroring your desktop, you'll get choppiness during video unless you've got a really fast connection.
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May 19, 2014 11:48
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Husband made up a handy excel sheet. On one side it outlines the 252 monthly payments of our mortgage we have left using the minimum payments, and how much of that goes to principle and how much to interest. On the right side it duplicates this, but has an extra field for recurring extra payments toward the principle, (for example you can say I will always pay 20 dollars extra every month) and then see the effect on how many months sooner the mortgage will be paid off. Even an extra payment of 60 dollars a month makes an insane difference, shaving a full 2 years off of the 21 years left on the mortgage. We have been paying around 1,000 extra each month, so that of course has an even greater effect, but understanding that is not within everyone's ability to pay extra I was curious what "pocket change" could do to the course of a loan. Very motivating to keep frivolous costs down. I have noticed the past two weeks when looking at baked goods or desserts or soda it's been much easier to decline putting them in my cart, thinking of the savings.
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May 19, 2014 11:49
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Man, I always feel like crap in the morning. It usually takes about 2 hours before I feel like doing something. Anyway, the home improvements are going fantastic and I can't wait to move. As long as I can sell my house in a decent amount of time I'll be completely happy. I don't even care if I lose a little money because it won't take long to get the losses back.
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May 19, 2014 14:25
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Thank you BFC, you are inspiring. 20 months ago I had $55k in debt (student loans, car loans, and a tiny bit of CC debt before more student loans cleared), and $121.45 in the bank. Today I paid off the last of the debt completely, with a 9 month emergency fund still there afterwards. Looking forward to saving up for a downpayment into a house (rent vs house cost ratio is insane here, thanks famous university) and to begin investing in things (and also allowing myself girls again). I don't feel comfortable with divulging complete financial details to strangers, so I found inspiration in mostly the financial disaster threads and the advice there. Anyway it feels good. A bit nervous about taking on a house loan but the rent for a unupdated shithole one bedroom here is ridiculous.
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May 19, 2014 22:48
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