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Dad Jokes
May 25, 2011

Wanamingo posted:

Inspector Danger's Crime Quiz


I just realized that when people are drawn like the witness in the third panel, they're supposed to have open mouths, not giant buckteeth.

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mtomato
Oct 22, 2012

Wanamingo posted:

[/timg]
Inspector Danger's Crime Quiz

"He couldn't have seen the scar when walking in the direction he walked in my imagination, therefore he is lying."

Blhue
Apr 22, 2008

Fallen Rib
I was thinking "Oh its the witness, the scar was on the dude's cheek not his chin" and was sort of right, but in a profoundly stupid way.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

It's definitely the translation thing rather than reused art.

Some Guy TT
Aug 30, 2011

Comics (April 16th 2007)

La Cucaracha


Doonesbury


The Duplex


F-Minus


Non Sequitur


---

Eyebeam (March 14th 1983(


It's All Right Chief Dharma (October 11th 2009)

Twelve by Pies
May 4, 2012

Again a very likpatous story

mtomato posted:

"He couldn't have seen the scar when walking in the direction he walked in my imagination, therefore he is lying."

See I thought the clue was when he said he was just walking down the street and the killer didn't look at him, therefore he couldn't possibly have seen the killer's face and shouldn't have been able to ID anyone as a suspect based on face alone. I guess I was half-right?

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Julet Esqu posted:

Sally Forth


I love Ted's stories of his childhood. :allears:


Garfield


Mandrake the Magician (1942-02-01)


Moose and Molly


The Other Coast


Well, you heard it here first, the ridiculous theory of rising sea levels has been debunked!

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005

I'm feeling Jimmy


F Minus



Mary Worth



Praise Mary!

Rex Morgan MD

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.
Scary Gary

Midnight Moth
Sep 14, 2007

What the hell, dude??
I'm like, right here.

quote:


The password is literally the phrase "my pet's name."

Slylock Fox

The thing that stands out most to me here is that Max is riding a skateboard. Why. Does Slylock walk so fast that Max can't keep otherwise? Did Slylock revoke Max's cape-riding privileges? Does the skateboard help Max elude the various snakes and other horrible monstrosities grabbing him from the sewer grates?

Midnight Moth
Sep 14, 2007

What the hell, dude??
I'm like, right here.
Gil

To paraphrase Steve Kelley explaining Dustin, "being mean is funny."

Retail

I've started packing my own lunches because I got tired of paying $5+ a day for lunch for poo poo I could make at home with not much effort. Buying a bag of salad + making a big pot of rice or pasta at the beginning of the week is good for several days. Then I just throw in some meat I cooked or if I'm really lazy dump a can of soup on top.

Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog

That's some sweet surrealism.

Dustin

Several ways to read this but I'm going with old man trying to impress the pretty lady that comes into the home improvement store with his manly hardware knowledge.

On the Fastrack

Quickbooks and Excel are truly the bane of our existence.

Heaven's Love Thrift Shop

Yeah pretty much.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

A store with knowledgeable, experienced and helpful employees? NOT ON STEVE KELLEY'S WATCH!

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Midnight Moth posted:

Dustin

Several ways to read this but I'm going with old man trying to impress the pretty lady that comes into the home improvement store with his manly hardware knowledge.


Awww, Kelley got embarrassed by knowing less about everything than a retiree working part-time at Home Depot. It's nice that he has this therapeutic outlet to vent about it.




Look at her rolleyes face. I guess that guy should have said "you need a thingy and a whatchamacallit, and one of these doodads, and maybe you should just call a plumber if you are unwilling to learn the terms for the parts you might need, you jerk."

BlankIsBeautiful
Apr 4, 2008

Feeling a little inadequate?

Midnight Moth posted:

Dustin

Several ways to read this but I'm going with old man trying to impress the pretty lady that comes into the home improvement store with his manly hardware knowledge.

Man, what's up with the blatant product placement in this strip? Not that I have a problem with it, I just wonder because he's done it bunches of times before. I wonder if he's getting a kickback or something.

Jane's World



Sizzle!

Non Sequitur



Bleh. I don't have a Twitter account, is there a #R.I.P, or maybe a #RIP?

Heavenly Nostrils



I remember reading the "Blaze" series of horse stories when I was in elementary school ("Blaze Finds the Trail", "Blaze and the Forest Fire", etc.), and they were actually pretty cool. I guess they must of been decent if I remember reading them today.

Kliban



I did not see that last panel coming. :v:

9 Chickweed Lane 5/19/2003



That's some pretty sheer lingerie there for a teenager, Brooke. You weirdo.

Zits



teens_and_their_procrastination_amirite.gif

Kevin & Kell



Yeah, right, whatever.



Whatever, Nemi, you'd still sell a shitload of clothes that way. Impressive.

EasyEW
Mar 8, 2006

I've got my father's great big six-shooter with me 'n' if anybody in this woods wants to start somethin' just let 'em--but they DASSN'T.
Skippy (February 28, 1927)



Peanuts (May 22, 1967)



Funky Winkerbean: In case you were wondering why last week was unusually light, today is your "oh, of course" moment.



Popeye



Rip Haywire



Pogo: And the candidate has the expected reaction to a poll with a sample size of one. (May 21, 1956)



Droodles (May 21, 1956)



Out Our Way (December 31, 1924-January 1, 1925)



So. 1925! The first issue of The New Yorker! Mussolini becomes dictator! Hitler publishes Mein Kampf! Tennessee outlaws evolution, and biology teacher John Scopes becomes the historic test case! And it kicks off with this...

Hoover Dam
Jun 17, 2003

red white and blue forever

drat that's a fine Boston terrier (on the right)

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Trent posted:

Awww, Kelley got embarrassed by knowing less about everything than a retiree working part-time at Home Depot. It's nice that he has this therapeutic outlet to vent about it.

Look at her rolleyes face. I guess that guy should have said "you need a thingy and a whatchamacallit, and one of these doodads, and maybe you should just call a plumber if you are unwilling to learn the terms for the parts you might need, you jerk."
You just know that Kelley is exactly the type of guy who'd ask someone for help, then roll his eyes at a correct but technical answer because he thinks whatever he's asking about is simple and the guy's just trying to fleece him or sound smart.


Ham Shears


I don't see what the problem is; that still gives you another 20 minutes to get there before the ads and previews are over.


The Dinette Set is livin' large.


I'd buy a "Make A Difference And Shut Up" heart-shaped throw pillow. (I now that's not a pillow in the comic, but I think it'd work anyway.)

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Some Guy TT posted:

It's All Right Chief Dharma (October 11th 2009)

I love this comic so much.

Aardmania
Jan 1, 2007

Ruining newspapers since 1993.

Shredded Hen
Grumble, grumble...lousy internet outages.

Piranha Club



Dick Tracy



Judge Parker


You fools! This was clearly a distraction so that Alan could hightail it back home with the loot.

9 Chickweed Lane


Oh, good. The coma from Bill's massive head wound has finally kicked in.

Pibgorn

RevKrule
Jul 9, 2001

Thrilling the forums since 2001

EasyEW posted:


Funky Winkerbean: In case you were wondering why last week was unusually light, today is your "oh, of course" moment.



"Why don't those Hollywood fat cats let me make millions of dollars on the grave of my cancer infected wife???? Don't they know what a sad sack of poo poo I am?"
I loving despise Lester stories because it seems since losing Lisa this rear end in a top hat catches every loving break but still is the mopiest jerk that ever existed. Just watch him get notice they've optioned his movie and now he's filthy rich but he'll still mope about how the project isn't how he wanted it but still wants to cash the checks.

Christ, what an rear end in a top hat.

R Ubbish
Apr 15, 2013

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Evil Mastermind posted:

The Dinette Set is livin' large.


I'd buy a "Make A Difference And Shut Up" heart-shaped throw pillow. (I now that's not a pillow in the comic, but I think it'd work anyway.)

They have so many great things in this comic. Mugs with "shut up" written on them, t-shirts that just say "no you", these antimacassars from a few days ago:



I love them all.


Aardmania posted:

Judge Parker


You fools! This was clearly a distraction so that Alan could hightail it back home with the loot.

I don't think Alan really understands the concept of people not giving him things. He would never take the money and run because he would assume that eventually someone will just give him the money and he can walk be driven away in a luxury car, or perhaps flown in a private jet.

GorfZaplen
Jan 20, 2012

Emmy Lou


Heathcliff


Mandrake the Magician


The Phantom


Pickles


Classic Prince Valiant

Indolent Bastard
Oct 26, 2007

I WON THIS AMAZING AVATAR! I'M A WINNER! WOOOOO!
Monty






Mike du Jour




Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

EasyEW posted:

Funky Winkerbean: In case you were wondering why last week was unusually light, today is your "oh, of course" moment.

]
Has it ever been said what the plot of Lisa's Story actually is? I mean, it was a novel, now it's supposed to be a movie but what is it actually about? Is it just 500 pages/an hour and a half of Lisa slowly wasting away?

Lowen SoDium
Jun 5, 2003

Highen Fiber
Clapping Larry

Evil Mastermind posted:

Has it ever been said what the plot of Lisa's Story actually is? I mean, it was a novel, now it's supposed to be a movie but what is it actually about? Is it just 500 pages/an hour and a half of Lisa slowly wasting away?

I wish I could find the quote, I think it was even in this thread, but it was something about how every author thinks that their true life cancer story is the most touching story ever told.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

The Little King


Mark Trail


Buz Sawyer

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

Wish Jones is kind of an insufferable sad sack, isn't he?

bonestructure
Sep 25, 2008

by Ralp

Julet Esqu posted:

Juliet Jones



This storyline has been even weirder than the one about the guy buying hats for his donkey. But drat, that's a fine pimp hand on Howard Jones :sotw:

Cricken_Nigfops
Oct 25, 2011

CROM!
Fine crop of comics, fellas, fine crop.

Expect some of mine this evening when I get in, unforeseen circumstances this am restricted my posting abilities.

Ema Nymton
Apr 26, 2008

the place where I come from
is a small town
Buglord

Aardmania posted:


Oh, good. The coma from Bill's massive head wound has finally kicked in.

This is so un-sexy and makes me wince. Considering what sexual excitement does to blood pressure, he should either be in a lot of pain or unconscious.

root
Jun 17, 2000

Booska mask replica...

tiistai
Nov 1, 2012

Solo Melodica
Fingerpori

- On the freeway I stepped on the gas, fleeing from almost 200 cops!
- I didn't even know there were that many cops here


This one was pretty good but too bad it doesn't work in English at all. The pun is in lähes kahtasataa, "almost two hundred". When you mention that in the context of driving, the immediate assumption is that you were driving at "almost 200 km/h". Obviously (or maybe I should say usually) an exaggeration, but the point is that you were driving really fast. The sentence was constructed so that the "almost 200" could refer to either that or the amount of cops.

Fok_It

Midnight Moth
Sep 14, 2007

What the hell, dude??
I'm like, right here.

BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Man, what's up with the blatant product placement in this strip? Not that I have a problem with it, I just wonder because he's done it bunches of times before. I wonder if he's getting a kickback or something.
It makes sense if you read Dustin like it's Kelley's personal stand-up comedy routine instead of crafting its own universe. "So the other day I was at Wendy's and tried to order a brioche..."

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

tiistai posted:

Fingerpori

- On the freeway I stepped on the gas, fleeing from almost 200 cops!
- I didn't even know there were that many cops here


This one was pretty good but too bad it doesn't work in English at all. The pun is in lähes kahtasataa, "almost two hundred". When you mention that in the context of driving, the immediate assumption is that you were driving at "almost 200 km/h". Obviously (or maybe I should say usually) an exaggeration, but the point is that you were driving really fast. The sentence was constructed so that the "almost 200" could refer to either that or the amount of cops.

I dunno if you can say it like this, sorta stilted

Man I was going real fast on the highway, counted almost 200.
Didn't even know we had that many cops here.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Man I was going real fast on the highway. Hit almost 200.
Must've been a parade or something.

null_user01013
Nov 13, 2000

Drink up comrades

Midnight Moth posted:

Gil

To paraphrase Steve Kelley explaining Dustin, "being mean is funny."

Retail

I've started packing my own lunches because I got tired of paying $5+ a day for lunch for poo poo I could make at home with not much effort. Buying a bag of salad + making a big pot of rice or pasta at the beginning of the week is good for several days. Then I just throw in some meat I cooked or if I'm really lazy dump a can of soup on top.


Gil slimmed down after puberty

Mercedes Colomar
Nov 1, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Tina's Groove


Family Circus


Rose is Rose


One Big Happy


Mother Goose & Grimm


Foob


Compu-Toon


Bizarro


Dilbert

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free

Mike Lester drawing a comic about a jackass failing at its job is just too meta for my brain to handle

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Lowen SoDium
Jun 5, 2003

Highen Fiber
Clapping Larry

BORDEN! GET IN HERE!

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