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will there be a spiderman movie where doc ock takes over his body and pretends to be him and is better at being spiderman than peter parker was? these are the questions the public demands answers to.
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May 12, 2014 18:30
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I saw the promotional material for Neighbors and thought it was about a bunch of adults acting like petulant children, and I didn't want to see it. Now I've read the review, know for a fact that it's about a bunch of adults acting like petulant children, and I do want to see it. This is breaking my brain, man.
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May 14, 2014 02:42
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For the record, "Movies About Men With Daddy Issues" are pretty uch my favorite, so Ian just sold me on Godzilla.
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May 18, 2014 14:38
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I'm not familiar with the relations between England and Wales, can someone explain to me what the significance of Tom Hardy sporting a Welsh accent in this movie is? Really interested in Locke now, thanks for the great review.
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May 18, 2014 15:41
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Reading the Godzilla review felt like a validation of my greatest fears.
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May 19, 2014 00:53
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Vargo posted:For the record, "Movies About Men With Daddy Issues" are pretty uch my favorite, so Ian just sold me on Godzilla. Yeah, the tone really confused me. I'd have thought the Godzilla movie being about anything except a giant monster destroying stuff randomly would be fodder for a good review not a bad one. speshl guy posted:Really interested in Locke now, thanks for the great review. Seconded!
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May 19, 2014 01:44
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Schwarzwald posted:Reading the Godzilla review felt like a validation of my greatest fears. Don't listen to 'em. Go check out the CD thread and listen to how much everybody who isn't dumb loves the movie.
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May 19, 2014 02:20
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Some Guy TT posted:Yeah, the tone really confused me. I'd have thought the Godzilla movie being about anything except a giant monster destroying stuff randomly would be fodder for a good review not a bad one.
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May 19, 2014 09:01
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Schwarzwald posted:Reading the Godzilla review felt like a validation of my greatest fears. Frontpage movie reviews of big films, especially nerd loved ones, are basically The Contrarian Voice, don't let it validate fears. e: to be clear not really saying 'contrarian voice' is a bad thing. I think most of them usually wind up raising at least a few good points. sexpig by night fucked around with this message at 15:20 on May 19, 2014 |
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May 19, 2014 15:18
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Y-Hat posted:Maybe it's just me, but when I watch a Godzilla movie, I want to watch a big goddamn lizard destroying poo poo and/or fighting other monsters first and foremost and the human element to have a secondary role. All the political/social/whatever aspects about the storyline aside, the fact that Godzilla only appears an hour into the movie is why I won't watch it. People are saying it's like Jaws in that aspect, but those are two different movie creatures, and Godzilla should have been treated as such. So you haven't seen the original Godzilla then?
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May 19, 2014 18:33
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Y-Hat posted:Maybe it's just me, but when I watch a Godzilla movie, I want to watch a big goddamn lizard destroying poo poo and/or fighting other monsters first and foremost and the human element to have a secondary role. All the political/social/whatever aspects about the storyline aside, the fact that Godzilla only appears an hour into the movie is why I won't watch it. People are saying it's like Jaws in that aspect, but those are two different movie creatures, and Godzilla should have been treated as such.
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May 19, 2014 19:26
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effectual posted:So you haven't seen the original Godzilla then? Yeah, Godzilla's in like 15 minutes of the original film at most. Keanu Grieves posted:Also, I really liked Man of Steel, so Ian's review has me pumped for Godzilla. I love how Ian's review just made us want to see this movie more.
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May 19, 2014 19:28
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Vargo posted:Yeah, Godzilla's in like 15 minutes of the original film at most.
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May 19, 2014 19:31
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Keanu Grieves posted:Sometimes, you've gotta rework a tired formula.
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May 19, 2014 22:46
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It seems really weird to call the new Godzilla a reaction to 9/11. If anything, I'd imagine the supposed nihilism of it would reflect our preemptively despairing attitude towards climate change.
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May 20, 2014 05:04
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Belated minority report for Godzilla: This is the art film of monster movies, and it's fantastic.
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May 20, 2014 08:06
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Y-Hat posted:I don't think the decision was due to that so much as it was due to the fact that Godzilla '98 was a disaster and they wisely wanted to separate this movie from it. I know this is seriously minority, but I kind of liked Godzilla 98. It was action-packed, funny and kind of channeled a King Kong sadness at the end. Plus it had Jean Reno as a badass French commando because why the gently caress not? Probably the worst problem with the movie was the title, which ran it straight into nerdspectations like a steak into a buzz saw.
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May 20, 2014 09:20
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I remember loving Godzilla '98 when it came out, but then again I was 7 years old, so I'm not sure that's still a valid opinion.
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May 20, 2014 12:57
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johntfs posted:I know this is seriously minority, but I kind of liked Godzilla 98. It was action-packed, funny and kind of channeled a King Kong sadness at the end. Plus it had Jean Reno as a badass French commando because why the gently caress not? Probably the worst problem with the movie was the title, which ran it straight into nerdspectations like a steak into a buzz saw.
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May 20, 2014 21:04
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Y-Hat posted:Maybe it's just me, but when I watch a Godzilla movie, I want to watch a big goddamn lizard destroying poo poo and/or fighting other monsters first and foremost and the human element to have a secondary role. All the political/social/whatever aspects about the storyline aside, the fact that Godzilla only appears an hour into the movie is why I won't watch it. People are saying it's like Jaws in that aspect, but those are two different movie creatures, and Godzilla should have been treated as such. You have probably never watched an actual Kaiju film. They're all a boring slow burn to a slow paced, clumsy looking fight at the end. So this movie is pretty much spot on for the genre. It's funny how Ian mentioned his review of Skyline, which was probably the review I most disagreed with before this one.
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May 20, 2014 22:17
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Jeedy Jay posted:It seems really weird to call the new Godzilla a reaction to 9/11. If anything, I'd imagine the supposed nihilism of it would reflect our preemptively despairing attitude towards climate change. Seriously, how is "Nature will rebalance itself at your expense," your words for the message of the film, a reaction to 9/11 and not climate change? How do you even make that connection? SpiderHyphenMan fucked around with this message at 03:59 on May 21, 2014 |
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May 21, 2014 03:56
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That's not true, he also sees dongs in movies with the same efficiency.  Jay Dub- it turns out the studio that made your latest talking animal movie is a scam company. http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-818-909-6800
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May 21, 2014 04:11
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Y-Hat posted:That's not true, he also sees dongs in movies with the same efficiency. Maybe he's right though? https://twitter.com/sportsfan1337/status/426212330070749184
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May 21, 2014 05:00
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Professor Clumsy sees 9/11 in films the same way some people see their mother in Rorschach blots.
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May 21, 2014 05:19
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Godzilla terrifies me. The movie, not the dinosaur. It's just....what the gently caress. What do I make of a movie like this. A movie that starts off like Jurassic Park, then proceeds to appropriate vibes from Aliens(-ish whatever), Prometheus, any post-apocalypse movie with abandoned overgrown city of your choosing, more Aliens, then straight into U.S. disaster central-ville with one 'population center' destroyed after another. We have tremor-related nuclear disaster in Japan (ugh..real nuclear disaster in Japan by earthquake tsunami that killed thousands in recent memory..argghh exploited suffering), then we head to modern times in Hawaii and Godzilla initiates a Tsunami-like wave, carrying cars, trees, and people away (ugh...millions dead from tsunamis in recent history...oww my soul) then we head to the U.S. for some good old 9/11 (as pointed out already - therapy session is loving over, just stop Hollywood loving STOP EXPLOITING THIS poo poo OR I'LL MAKE YOU). Meanwhile, during all of this poo poo there are constant scenes and shots of raw disaster exploitation - a little girl cast for the most penetrating stare in Hollywood whose only point is to spot the tsunami coming, a dog that gets to escape and run from it, a little Japanese kid who only exists to get stuck on a train with Brody and then be heroically reunited for a 5 second scene later, Brody's son who is cast for cutest kid in Hollywood (or at least makes the top 10 list), and a non-insignificant number of bizarrely tender, decently-acted somewhat genuinely felt scenes of love, struggle, and reunification of humans in a movie that doesn't really give a gently caress about anybody. Millions of people were not really harmed in the making of this movie! They don't show any real blood or gore anyway, just imply that there's an accumulated Mount Everest of it scattered all over Japan, Hawaii, and the continental United States. Meanwhile, all of these scenes of carnage are so gloriously constructed and shot, and so full of detail, that they are moments that literally captivate you - acquire and hold your attention against your will. The high altitude jump scene is among the most stunning and visually poetic I've ever witnessed in cinema (for extra cognitive dissonance!) There are jokes and references in the middle of all this hurt and chaos that are actually..well, subtle and clever and meet the average cynical person's criteria of "acceptable to laugh at". Then there is all of this creepy military poo poo. It's like, OK, here comes the US military to save us. It's everywhere! SWAT! FEMA! Navy Seals! Martial law, cool gadgets, call signs and lingo, Hoorah. Even though you know they aren't doing poo poo to the monsters, the movie is still full of men and women in uniform fighting and dying to save us. I have the highest respect for men and women in uniform, but this movie in my eyes amounts to a prostitution and exploitation of them more than anything else. And at the end of this formula of near perfectly distilled, raw entertainment, I walk away so cold and empty that I could use a delicious hot cocoa and someone to tell that I love them. What the gently caress is the point of all of this poo poo. Even during the movie I was like "Haha..that was funny! Well, yeah. *sighs, murmurs sadly*" "Whoa, that was...incredibly well shot. *looks down, depressed*." And give me a break - man can't control nature as a subtext? These are made up monsters, who gives a poo poo. Maybe that was the point of the original Godzilla - the only thing I know about the original Godzilla was it was this big dinosaur that attacked a city. It was some icon from childhood, I can't even recall of I saw the original. It was pointless dinosaur then, its a pointless dinosaur now, except with all of this really, really distressing baggage. I don't see any loving point at all, sorry. Yet I can't deny it was very well crafted, entertaining (despite the sadness inside afterwards), and hilarious. It's like being tickled, except in a creepy way that makes you want to vomit afterwards. What the gently caress. This is why I don't watch these blockbusters (or new movies in general) anymore. It was the end of the semester and I wanted to hang out with my brother and sister so I gave in. This time. Last time. CowOnCrack fucked around with this message at 07:16 on May 21, 2014 |
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May 21, 2014 07:12
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Y-Hat posted:Jay Dub- it turns out the studio that made your latest talking animal movie is a scam company. I've been reading about this. It's fascinating, isn't it? As soon as I saw that the film's budget was $70 million, I knew there was something weird going on. You can't dump that much money into ANY film without having at least something presentable to show for it. Unless your perpetrating a scam. Then it's apparently pretty easy. But the weirdest thing to me is how Legends of Oz managed to get a 2500 screen release. I guess you can do that when you have $70 million to play with, but if we're assuming that they're stealing most of that money anyway, it just doesn't make any sense. Jay Dub fucked around with this message at 14:05 on May 21, 2014 |
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May 21, 2014 14:02
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CowOnCrack posted:Then there is all of this creepy military poo poo. It's like, OK, here comes the US military to save us. It's everywhere! SWAT! FEMA! Navy Seals! Martial law, cool gadgets, call signs and lingo, Hoorah. Even though you know they aren't doing poo poo to the monsters, the movie is still full of men and women in uniform fighting and dying to save us. I have the highest respect for men and women in uniform, but this movie in my eyes amounts to a prostitution and exploitation of them more than anything else. I was in the military, I don't feel like they were prostitutes in this movie. I wonder, twelve years after Pearl Harbor, were people crying about every boat that sank in a movie?
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May 23, 2014 03:54
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Crow_Rodeo posted:I was in the military, I don't feel like they were prostitutes in this movie. I wonder, twelve years after Pearl Harbor, were people crying about every boat that sank in a movie? How about less than 5 years after they make a movie trivializing destruction of US Navy boats by Japanese planes? I guess maybe disaster exploitation doesn't exist, but I feel it does. Are movies are free to use realistic destruction mimicking recent events? It bothers me, because they were real events with real consequences and the events in these movies are trying seem as real as possible but without showing any consequences. It's the same reason I was bothered by Inglorious Basterds and Django unchained - it's just creepy the way they appropriate really serious history poo poo (holocaust, slavery). I am sure others are not bothered.
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May 23, 2014 05:50
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CowOnCrack posted:Godzilla terrifies me. The movie, not the dinosaur. Does this make you cry too? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8bV9iNStEI
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May 23, 2014 05:52
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effectual posted:Does this make you cry too? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8bV9iNStEI I wish you the best in your life, even if we disagree.
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May 24, 2014 00:11
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So, on the topic of fire-breathing monster that won't deliberately invoke 9-11, I'm looking forward to How to Train Your Dragon 2. I just hope we get another weird scene that's sort of accidentally written to be much cooler that it appears to be.
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May 24, 2014 03:33
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Professor Clumsy is a retard
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May 24, 2014 07:50
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A salient rebuttal. Pray, continue.
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May 24, 2014 16:41
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Vagithug posted:Professor Clumsy is a retard Well... at least I know now. Thanks, doctor. *eats some poo*
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May 24, 2014 16:43
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I'm still waiting on an answer toSpiderHyphenMan posted:Seriously, how is "Nature will rebalance itself at your expense," your words for the message of the film, a reaction to 9/11 and not climate change? How do you even make that connection?
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May 24, 2014 18:04
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I want to do a CR version of Jimmy Kimmel's Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets.
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May 24, 2014 18:15
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Funny Vargo brings up actors with a public persona to go with their acting chops and doesn't list Nicolas Cage. Come on, man. Even though "Adam Sandler makes a movie with a bunch of friends and product placement" was just as bad of a movie idea 20 years ago as it is today, at least his first movies made sense when he was a 20-something with a more believable everyman persona. Now that he's middle-aged with a wife, two kids, and his own movie studio, that plot just doesn't cut for him. But as Vargo said, he doesn't care. The only Adam Sandler comedy that I feel was any good was The Wedding Singer.
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May 25, 2014 07:47
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Y-Hat posted:Funny Vargo brings up actors with a public persona to go with their acting chops and doesn't list Nicolas Cage. Come on, man. I thought about it and decided it was too on-the-nose.
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May 25, 2014 16:11
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Even Nicolas Cage's more mediocre work managed to inspire this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA What has Adam Sandler ever inspired aside from IBS?
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May 26, 2014 02:49
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Vargo posted:I want to do a CR version of Jimmy Kimmel's Celebrities Reading Mean Tweets. poo poo. I guess its time for me to draw up some new business cards.
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May 26, 2014 21:29
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