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Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

CraigK posted:

jimmy johnson for felix hernandez

this isnt like the worst trade ever tbh

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CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Monicro posted:

this isnt like the worst trade ever tbh

good because i WANT TO loving DO IT

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Monathin posted:

:frogsiren: MORE TRADES :frogsiren:

Canton Calamities Receive:
1905 Noodles Hahn
2000 Joe Nathan
Pick #48

The Worst Receive:
1992 Roberto Hernandez
1992 Jack McDowell
1973 Eddie Watt

Ask for more back. Noodles is better than McDowell, Nathan is better than Hernandez, and Eddie Watt is bad compared to lots of pieces on the board.

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

CraigK posted:

good because i WANT TO loving DO IT

MY ROTATION CAN BE TWO BOB GIBSONS AND FELIX HERNANDEZ I'VE DREAMED OF THIS loving MOMENT

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pander posted:

NOOOOOOOOO! HE ALMOST MADE IT TO ME!

:ssh: He wouldn't have, because I would have picked him first. But since I can't do that, the Grass Valley Wizards instead select 1993 Fred McGriff because gently caress it, this might work.



Fred McGriff replaces Ernie Banks at 1B.

Also, we're doing the Barry Bonds Shuffle again - the new outfield and DH goes as follows:

Barry Bonds at LF
Kenny Lofton at CF
Gary Sheffield at RF
Billy Williams at DH

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

TheMcD, you still keen on Carlton, Miggy and Launch Ballman for Bonds? We're prepared to make that offer official. That gets you a 1B, an SP and a OF.

Eh, gently caress it, I'm sticking with Bonds at this point - I'm either making this poo poo work or going down with the ship. Although I certainly would be open to mentholmoose's offer if I do survive this season.

Beet
Aug 24, 2003
Edit: I'm literally illiterate.

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

TheMcD posted:

Although I certainly would be open to mentholmoose's offer if I do survive this season.

Technically Smasher said no trading during the regular season, so I think possibly after the last update before the Gauntlet starts we could, though I'm not sure how mad Smasher would be at us.

mks5000 posted:

After the season, McD's team will probably be dead if he does nothing.

Mine probably will be as well, so I'm not that fussed over it.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010


Send Frank Robinson to the DL and recall Tony Oliva. Al Kaline replaces Robinson in all lineups.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

mentholmoose posted:

Mine probably will be as well, so I'm not that fussed over it.

You'd just drop to the Subpar League, no? Besides, our division seems to be 4 very flawed teams fighting for "least inept" and it seems just as likely that you finish in 1st as you finish in last.

Pete Ladd
Mar 9, 2012


DL Doc, slot in Pettitte. Slide Cobb over to CF to rest Hamilton, Delahanty back in LF. Alomar plays 2B this week.

Let's see how he does. Delahanty at 2B would be a trip, but I don't really want to do deadballers in the MI, fun as that is.

Warm Sarsaparilla
Jan 3, 2012



Dammit, Barry! You just had a week off!

Call up and start the newly acquired Griffey Jr. for injured Barrold.

Thanks.

Viscount Slim
Mar 9, 2012


Bitterly making a cocktail while listening to drivel is one of my very best skills.

Send down Matt Williams and JD Drew. Call up Michael Young and Taffy Wright. Use Taffy at LF and Reiser at CF for the week. Robinson back to RF.

Whee!

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



I think I should probably draft Torre. I don't think Sweeney/Daulton is working too well anymore.

But I also like Konerko's bat at 1B, because Votto's not holding his own very well.

But I ALSO like the idea of getting Brad Lidge and his bradlicious K/9.

Hrm. Thinky.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."


JR Richard in for Nolan Ryan, please.

Also, start Bonds and Boudreau again. Let Chipper rehab in the minors, bring up and use Giambi at 3B for the week.

Thanks very much.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Week 14 Injury Report

Rejoice! The All-Star Break is upon us!

Florida Oranges
Joba Chamberlain (RP) (He walked up to me and he asked to pitch/I asked him his name and in a dark brown voice he said "Joba"/Jay-Oh-Bee-Ay, Joba, Jo-jo-jo-jo-jobaaaa/Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy/But at least I know how to use a loving trampoline) - 29 days

New World Symphony
Elias Sosa (RP) (World of Suffering) - 12 days

Philadelphia Premodernists
Joe Kelley (1B) (19th Century Medicine) - 12 days

Republic City Fire Ferrets
Wally Schang (C) (Destiny) - 28 days

Rochester Generics
Goose Gossage (RP) (Goosemania has run wild. Too wild) - 87 days

South Bolton Eazy W's
Ted Simmons (C) (Hey, so, remember when I was saying 'don't trade Darren Daulton'. This is why.) - 93 days


Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pick 'Em: Pirates sweep, rest retain.

CFBalla
Sep 16, 2009

Yeah, I just made that shot. :smug:
Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges


Woo! All-Star Break!

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!
All champs retain.

Martinez goes C full time, Cabrera returns to the bench.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Week 14 Injury Report

Florida Oranges
Joba Chamberlain (RP) (He walked up to me and he asked to pitch/I asked him his name and in a dark brown voice he said "Joba"/Jay-Oh-Bee-Ay, Joba, Jo-jo-jo-jo-jobaaaa/Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy/But at least I know how to use a loving trampoline) - 29 days

lmao

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Everyone loses except the Coburns

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!

welp. Foxx in for Schang fulltime until he's healed.
Cronin and Pesky back to SS and 3B respectively

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Senerio posted:


welp. Foxx in for Schang fulltime until he's healed.
Cronin and Pesky back to SS and 3B respectively


And your DH?

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Pick 'em: All champs lose

Because I've missed so many of these, I'll need a miracle to come back.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

lol@joba

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Because I needed more injuries, but I'll deal with that after the update.

Pirates win, all others retain.

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

Dammit Pander, you should pick before my break's up so I can pick. :argh:

Anyway Coburns Retain, All Other Titles Change Hands

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Monathin posted:

Dammit Pander, you should pick before my break's up so I can pick. :argh:

Anyway Coburns Retain, All Other Titles Change Hands

Sorry, random day at work, forgot about my pick. poo poo.

Champramp: How about Harper + pick for this pick?

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011
Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
Pickem: Muggers and Pirates take, all others retain.

CVE
Jan 27, 2012


Lobert takes Chico's bench spot while he tries to untwist his balls for the rest of the season.

Pick'em

All champs retain.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

Intercontinental, Heavyweight and Larkin-Downing Championships
Somali Pirates @ Philadelphia Premodernists (c)

Hardcore and Television Championships
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Glastonbury Knights of Glastonbury

Canadian Championship
Fhloston Pharmas (c) @ Louisville Muggers

United States Championship
Coburns (c) @ Florida Oranges

Forzelt
Jul 23, 2012

Variance? Fuck that noise.
Pick 'em: Sleep of the Just

All champs retain

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
All champs retain.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Champs to retain.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.





Chicago Corruption takes Joe Torre '60

Make him the starting C for all situations.
Platoon Votto and Sweeney at 1B
Send down Daulton
HanRam starts full time vs everyone at SS

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007



Subpar-League Week 13: We all live in a Super-League world; I want to be the greatest master of them all


Games of the Weak

Charles Foster Balla posted:


CALAMITIES DEMOLISH SANDY KOUFAX; COMMISH CONSIDERING BACK-UP PLAN

This was not supposed to happen. Koufax vs. Ford; one pitcher who, despite being lefty, has found quite a bit of success in the Super League, and the other who has been mediocre overall in his tenure in the Super League. The game should have been close, anyway.

It was a total thrashing, the likes of which probably won't be seen again between these teams ever again, I'd imagine.

The scoring started early for the Calamities, where a Tim Raines walk was followed quickly by a Ron Santo dinger, who has been tested for PEDs on both the Calamities and the Plunder Corp., but was somehow found negative on both teams. Additional tests will occur every week until the end of the season. Vern Stephens then hit a 3-run homer in the 3rd to bring their total to 6, after a run was singled home in the 2nd. In the bottom of the 3rd, the Ooga Boogas struck back with a glancing blow, only scoring 1 run in the inning off a Tony Gwynn walk, a wild pitch by Whitey Ford, and a single by Frank Howard.

It wasn't until only a couple innings later when the Calamities completely broke GVOLTT and the Ooga Boogas' spirit. After scoring a couple runs in the 5th on a couple errors from the Ooga Boogas infield, the floodgates didn't truly open until the 6th inning. After a Ron Santo walk and Frank Thomas reaching on an error by Bobby Grich, the Calamities showed their patience and lack of power by either taking a walk or hitting a single for the next 7 batters, including one by Whitey Ford himself, bringing in another 8 runs to give the Calamities a 16-1 lead. At this point, does it honestly matter whether I recap what happened after the top of the sixth?

The answer to that rhetorical question is no, as the game ended with a score of 16-3, giving the Calamities an easy win over a pretty talented Sub-par League team, which probably infuriates everyone in the thread minus Monateam, who couldn't be more pleased with both of their teams' performances as of late. With this win, the Calamities have tied the Plunder Corp. for the lead of the Punjabi Prison division, infuriating Deputy Commissioner McFreeze to no end. Questioned after the game, McFreeze had a few choice words concerning this outcome.

"The goal of setting up the divisions this way was to allow tatankatonk to win the Punjabi Prison division while also relegating the Plunder Corp. and Monathin's team from existence. One, it got rid of that annoying gimmick where two people form across the globe have to somehow communicate to make any majors changes to their team, which is a royal pain in the rear end for everyone else in the League. Two, it was to ensure that Monateam could not be reformed, because as you know, anime kills. And I fear if both Mon and Monicro end up in the Super League for season XIV, that it may truly be the end of Smasher and the SL as we know it. And as owner of Slug Lyfe and the best goddamn team in the league, I will not allow this to happen until I have won the SL once and for all. I might need to take into account some ideas that Smasher gave me, ideas that he will most definitely use to keep me in the upper league. This will require a little more work, however..."

Mon was unable to be reached for questions after the game; I've been told that he was researching new methods to keep Austrailian robots at bay, while also trying to find new methods to reverse the effects that said robots' ray guns have on human baseball players. GVOLTT, meanwhile, was happy to talk after the game:

"I mean, yeah, we got utterly thrashed this game. But hey, I'm still leading the division! And I don't have an anime problem, which means I'm still gonna be more successful than Mon! Life could indeed be much worse."

Game Notes:

- Even though they scored 16 runs, the Calamities had only 4 extra base hits. They did draw 7 walks, but that is still a gently caress ton of singles right there.

- Tony Gwynn is a really good hitter, and I'm surprised he fell that far in the draft. He will only hit singles for you, as he did in this game, but he should bat over .330.

- Along with researching, Mon was also found drinking heavily with his new best buddy Vern Stephens, who has done exceedingly well for the Calamities since he has been drafted, and even hit a 3 run home run in the game today!

Box Score




Mick Freese posted:


PLUNDER MAKES BLUNDER, FALLS 2-1

Haukness - Before today, there were few questions about the Plunder Corp's ability to stay at the top of their division. But by the end... well, let's just say this game had more questions than answers.

This one was a pitcher's duel from the beginning, as both of these teams are known for their pitching prowess above all else. Greg Maddux and Chief Bender didn't disappoint, each going 7 innings with only 1 run allowed. But then this game was turned over to the bullpens, and for all Cthulhu's strategizing about the value of relievers, the Plunder Corp have put together a strong pen, while the Slime Knights' bullpen has been a thorn in their side all season.

But, when I said that this game would be decided by the bullpens, I actually lied. The Corp went to Goose Gossage in the bottom of the eighth, and he promptly gave up a hit to Ryne Sandberg. Then, while Johnny Bassler was flirting with a girl in the front row, Sandberg was able to swipe second. But Gossage bore down, and struck out the next two batters to seemingly put an end to the threat. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Billy Hamilton came to the plate with two outs, and grounded one to the right side. The Corp's Albert Pujols had to range to his right to make the play, but make it he did. All the two-time Gold Glover had to do was throw the ball 15 feet to Gossage to end the inning.

Yet somehow, impossibly, Pujols threw the ball away. And not just away, but far enough away that Sandberg was able to score what turned out to be the game-winning run on the play. How could Pujols posibly make such a boneheaded play with the game on the line? Did he panic upon seeing the speed of the unholy reincarnation of Billy Hamilton in the body of Billy Hamilton? Unfortunately, we'll never know, as Pujols was personally led off the field by Cthulhu afterwards, and neither has been seen since.

With his partner MIA, mks5000 decided to make a rare appearance before the press after the game. "Okay, I want to just set the record straight on a couple things. Now, with the new Expansion Cup starting soon, there's been a lot of speculation that I won't be putting my full efforts into the Plunder Corp anymore. That I'll be distracted by new opportunities, leaving this team adrift in the seas of relegation. Let me be the first to tell you that that is simply not going to happen. Everybody knows this team is a motherfucking monster and I'll be the one to take them back to the Super-League.

"Now, to what happened on the field today. We can all play the blame game, and certainly I was so appalled by what Albert did, but I know he's bound to bounce back. Yes, I've heard that many people around the world are saying it's Albert's fault that the "Blunder Corp" are now tied for first place with the animes who shall not be named. Well, we don't care what people say."

Just then, the office door burst open, and an ostentatiously dressed man stumbled through, looking like he was hosed up on five or six different types of drugs. "Have you ever had sex with a pharoah?" he managed to slur before passing out on the floor.

Pash, noting the Sleep status, tried to catch him in a Pokeball.

Game Notes:

- I want to apologize to Pash. First, his team insists on never playing any exciting games, so it's hard to get the Slime Knights into as many updates as I would like. And second, there isn't all that much new or interesting to say about Pokemon, which is really a reflection of my failure to characterize any team in this league beyond silly one-note gimmicks.

- Johnny Bassler drew two more walks in this game, continuing his plan to deceive Cthulhu into thinking Bassler is in some way a useful player.

Box Score




Frank Gaiman posted:


MULTIPLE HIPPOS BETTER THAN SINGLE HIPPO, SLAYERS BULLPEN FAILS

London - Heading into the season, the Slayers' bullpen looked like a strength. Anchored by Billy Wagner and Rafael Soriano, one expected the Slayers would win virtually every game that got through 7 innings with a lead. Instead, the questionable starting pitching has been largely adequate, but the Wagner/Soriano duo have combined for an ERA over 7. It's a large part of the reason the Slayers are still struggling to crack .500.

Still, Slayers owner SilvergunSuperman stuck to conventional wisdom when building his team. Figuring that the 100-or-so innings he could get from a starting pitcher would be far more valuable than the 30-or-so he might get out of a reliever, he selected deadball legend Hippo Vaughn in the 3rd round of the Super Draft.

This was a smart move, though it seemed less smart when Vaughn's first start as a Slayer came against none other than Pete Alexander, Ankk-Morpork's ace. Still, in a single game, anything can happen.

Vaughn pitched a 1-2-3 first, and the Slayers immediately went to work. Joe Morgan singled and scored on a sacrifice fly, putting London up 1-0.

The wheels started to come off in the second. Todd Helton punched Vaughn in the mouth, and Vaughn instinctively grabbed at his jaw. Naturally, his pants fell down. Embarrassed, he pitched poorly and Helton and George Davis strung together singles to tie the game at 1. Vaughn eventually pulled his pants back up and finished the inning.

A Roy Cullenbine double followed by a David Wright single put London immediately ahead, but by now Ankh-Morpork had discovered Vaughn's weakness. Vern Stpehens was the offender this time, punching Vaughn in the mouth, and Mickey Mantle worked the body with an rbi single to tie the game at 2.

Silvergun responded by pressing "select" a lot during the between inning Bangers Race, and also threatening to murder any Fat Hippo who punched his pitcher. A renewed Vaughn took the mound in the the 4th, and threw 3 straight scoreless innings. Meanwhile, a Matt Holliday double had the Slayers up 4-2.

Unfortunately, Silvergun's plan backfired in the seventh. He'd correctly prevented his pitcher from being punched in the mouth, but neglected the possiblity of him being struck by a batted ball. Indeed, Vern Stephens hit a tapper back to the mound that the deadball-gloved Vaughn muffed, and it ricocheted off his mouth. Before he could recover, the Fat Hippos had again tied the game.

Still, 7 innings and only 4 runs vs. the 1st-place Fat Hippos was a pretty good effort, and Vaughn stood to get the W when Matt Holliday singled home Carlos Beltran to put the Slayers back on top 5-4.

Enter Billy Wagner. The erstwhile lefty started out dominant, fanning Todd Helton and Gavvy Cravath to open the 8th. But George Davis and Minnie Minoso strung together a couple of hits and a stolen base, and yet again the lead was blown.

This time, though, there would be no answer by the Slayers. Robb Nen struck out the side in the 8th, and then it was Rafael Soriano's turn. Almost immediately, Mickey Mantle put his emphatic stamp on the game, clubbing a 2-run home rand putting the Fat Hippos on top.

If there's one thing both the Super League and Subpar Leagues are known for, however, it's Rollie Fingers failure. Fingers entered the game to close things out, and immediately walked Carloses Beltran and Delgado to lead off the inning. Ted Williams, another recent Slayers addition, then singled, loading the bases with nobody out.

On a 1-2 count, Matt Holliday drilled a ball to the wall, but it fell just short, turning a game-winning grand slam into a sac fly.

Still, with runners at 1st and 3rd and only 1 out, things were looking hopeful for the Slayers.

Roy Cullenbine, a man known for a patient batting eye and a good contact skill, had only to hit the ball into the outfield to tie the game. Instead, he hit a one-hopper to first, and the game ended on a 3-6-3 twin killing.

There was no post-game conference as the owners and players immediately left to start their All-Star breaks.

Game Notes:

- Ted Williams is hitting at Ted Williams levels! That's good!

- Robb Nen picked up the W to go 8-1 in the season. He may lead the Fat Hippos in victories at this rate.

- I hope one day a team with Hippo Vaughn gets to compete in the Macho Man Challenge. Or at least the Soda Popinski Challenge.

- Fairgame, you poor, misguided fool, the All-Star break isn't until next week!

Box Score





Team Statistics












Analysis

As predicted, your offense has surged to the top of the league leaderboards, but for whatever reason the wins haven't caught up yet.












Analysis

Hippos, crush!












Analysis

When you look at the month as a whole, you have to see it as a big improvement.












Analysis

Brooks Robinson? That can't be right. I better fix that before the next sim.












Analysis

Hey, look at that! You more than doubled your wins in this month. Good job.












Analysis

It might be a long shot, but this team still has the ability to make a run.












Analysis

You win some, you lose some. And in the Phantoms' case, it's in that order.












Analysis

You've had Rick Reuschel for 4 weeks and he's only made two starts. No wonder he's rusty.












Analysis

If you want to win, you know what you have to do: Kill GVOLTT.












Analysis

Yeah, the Fat Hippos are probably still better than the Slayers. But it's a lot closer now.












Analysis

The Mystery of the Missing Wins! With special guest star, Don Knotts.












Analysis

Just win, baby.












Analysis

But seriously, how do you reach second on a throwing error by the first baseman? There were two outs. It's not like there was a play at another base.












Analysis

Looks like I have to amend my earlier statement. Wizards > Witches.












Analysis

Rest in peace, Evan Longoria.












Analysis

I'm not quite as down on that trade as everyone else seems to be, I just question what made you think it was going to make your team better.



Standings


Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



lol @ my pythag being about .100 higher than my actual record.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Oh my god, pull your loving poo poo together Wagner/Soriano!

At least going down horribly was entertaining.

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Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead


Okay that is a better week.

DL Wells, put Larkin in at SS, call up Jeff Heath and put him on the bench.

Send Dawson down to the minors and call up Kirby Puckett, slotting him into all lineups that Dawson was in at his spot (LF mostly I believe).

Since Larkin is terrible at hitting put him at the bottom of all lineups (above the pitcher though) and just move everyone else up a spot.

Finally put Whitaker in for Sandberg vs RHP for the week.

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